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July 15, 2025 18 mins

Guy Pelullo from Incredicare shares how professional caregivers help seniors maintain their independence while ensuring their safety in their own homes. Balancing dignity with protection requires skill, patience, and a deep understanding of the emotional challenges seniors face when accepting help.

• Most seniors initially resist home care even when children recognize the need
• Starting with fewer care hours and gradually building up comfort levels works better than pushing for full-time care immediately
• Finding creative solutions like accompanying a senior walking their dog rather than prohibiting the activity
• Gentle reminders about using mobility aids like walkers without making seniors feel helpless
• Well-trained caregivers stay attentive without being invasive
• Personality matching between caregivers and clients is crucial for relationship building
• Transportation services help seniors maintain community connections after they stop driving
• Physical activities like pool walking can help slow disease progression while maintaining independence
• Most seniors who initially resist care end up not only accepting it but requesting additional hours


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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hi, this is Valerie Van Boeven and we're back with
Care Across America.
And today we're going to talkto Guy Palullo, and he's the
owner of Incredicare and servesall of Northern Virginia.
And today we're going to talkabout Independence Month.
Obviously, 4th of July was thismonth, so we're going to talk
about seniors and independenceand how home care helps keep

(00:32):
those stubborn seniorsindependent.
So, guy, you've been doing thisa long time and we have
interviewed you before and weknow all about your history.
But tell us, when a familycalls and they want to talk
about their loved one, or maybea spouse of a loved one calls,

(01:05):
how do you guys go about making?

Speaker 1 (01:06):
sure that senior stays independent in their own
home but also feels like they'restaying independent with
someone else coming into thehouse.
And it starts with that firstdiscussion because inevitably
many of the parents that it'sthe children who generally call.
They do not.
The parents do not want anyhelp, the parents do not want
any help.
And yet what we've seen a lotof is people who have mobility

(01:32):
issues and it's not an everyminute of the day kind of issue
and that, I think, gives mostseniors a false sense of
security that I'm independent, Ican walk down the hall, I can
do this, so why would I everneed anybody in here?
And, god forbid, we have towait until there's an incident

(01:55):
right.
So for us it starts with thefirst visit, even the first
phone call, where we understandthe dynamic that the parent is
resistant.
And then when we go out and doour living room visit to discuss
a potential plan of care, andwe have just a Cracker Jack

(02:16):
person who does it, fahima, andshe spends a lot of time with
the client telling them some ofthe hazards and what could
happen and why they need it.
And then, once we can get overthat hump and we will ease
people into it.
The child says we need fivedays a week, eight hours a day.

(02:38):
We'll go to somethingsignificantly less and say let's
work with mom and get the rightperson in and build up her
comfort level of having somebodyhelp her.
So and I think that's importantbecause most home care agencies
we all have a tendency to, howdo we get the most hours?

(03:02):
But most clients becomeprogressive.
It's just the nature of a, whatthey say a father time is
undefeated, he can't beat it.
But to help people work throughthat so that when they reach a
point where they do lose theirindependence, that they have
comfort with the people that arethere and how they're helping

(03:24):
them, and so that's the kind ofthe way we ease into it.
The next part that's extremelyimportant is, of course, having
the right care professionalthere, but having them
understand the routine of theclient.
I was in fact this morning wewere discussing a client who has

(03:46):
multiple falls during the day,has Parkinson's disease, but
insists on walking the dog.
They have a fenced-in backyard,right, but no, they're walking
that dog and they use a walker.
They have a walker, they refuseto use it.
Right, we're working with thestrategy of let us take you on a

(04:10):
walk with your walker and thedog, and the care pro will walk
the dog.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Perfect Much better.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
And yet that's a difficult discussion because the
woman, she, by God, she'swalking that dog right, and so
it's understanding theactivities that are important to
them and not taking away.
It's not put the dog out in thebackyard and no, that's not the
intent here because they needto be out walking.

(04:40):
Obviously they're attached tothe dog.
Why would you take that away?
It's finding the solution andover time I'm sure she'll become
comfortable with it.
She has multiple falls a day,it's not?
She's in a pretty advancedstage.
So knowing those things.
And Another common tendency ismost of the folks that have

(05:04):
walkers absolutely detest usingthem, right, that's true.
And so one of the things weteach our care pros is, when the
person goes walking out of theroom without their walker, say
something like did you forgetsomething?
Say something like did youforget something?

(05:28):
Or are we using the walkertoday to constantly help them
develop the habit of what'simportant Because, as they want
to be independent, they're notgoing to use the tools that
seemingly take away theirindependence?

Speaker 2 (05:39):
That's true.
Most of us will do everything wecan to not have a walking aid
or be confined to a wheelchair,and that's probably part of the
mindset of walking the dog.
If I can't walk my own dog, thenI am giving in to this disease,
I am letting it take, andthat's not altogether true.

(06:01):
The reality is it becomes asafety issue and we all know
that falling the wrong way, onebad fall, can really impact the
longevity of someone's life,because a hip replacement or a
broken leg is really tough torecover from the older we get.

(06:22):
So we want to avoid those fallsif we can, and that will just
help the person live longer ifthey can either have help in the
home or they are using the aidsthat they've been shown how to
use and I know that comes up.
That happens a lot.
A lot of folks don't want to orthey don't remember, because

(06:43):
all our lives since we canremember anyway we've gotten up
and walked without the use ofanything.
So it is hard to remember thosethings.
But having someone there as agentle reminder is really great,
and staying independent meansbeing safe and not having as
many or any falls in the home.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
That's exactly right.
I think that that becomes alarge part of the communication
and the making them comfortablewith care.
Is that the way you stay inyour home is for us to help you?
Yes, we have that conversationa lot and it's not.
They don't go.

(07:27):
Oh yeah, that's Still not easy.
Nobody, you know.
But then the other key elementof that is making sure that the
care professionals know how toallow that independence, because
you don't want to take it away,right that's.
And yet how do you stay close?

(07:48):
And it's really about stayingclose and attentive without
being invasive.
So Is the care.
Can the care pro engage inactivities where they either
have an eye on the client orwith the client, so that they're
not prone to climb up on thecounter and change light bulbs?
We've had some of that.

(08:09):
They're fixing the light bulb,or is there a way that we can do
that with you?
There's different degrees,degrees, and I think important
for everyone to understand thatthe battle to remain independent
is.
I think it gets really strongthe older you get right, because

(08:33):
once you give that up that, weknow what's next, and so it's
important to facilitate it, nottake it away.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yes, I totally agree.
You're right.
It's, I think, the best way andthe best.
Care pros are probably becomingthat annoying sister or that
annoying little sister or thatis constantly saying don't
forget, oh, how about this,let's try this.
But that is way better.
And I know that relationshipsdevelop there too.

(09:03):
There too, when a care pro isin the home, a lot, or maybe a
set, a couple, a team of carepros are rotating through and
they're in that home.
They get to know them and theyget attached to them.
This isn't something that mostseniors dread every day.
They welcome that.
Once they get used to it, theyreally are looking forward to
that visit because they knowsomeone's going to fix them

(09:25):
lunch and they know someone'sgoing to maybe take them to the
grocery today or whatever.
The thing is that they needthat.
Relationship building is veryimportant and the care pros are
the ones that build thoserelationships.
And that comes from goodtraining and I know you guys do
a lot of that.
So training those careprofessionals on all these

(09:45):
different little nuances soimportant.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
And we spend a lot of time with the training is like
paramount for us.
So, starting with, before theyever go on a case, they've got
two full days in here and thenevery month we have an
in-the-office training on aparticular topic with our RN,

(10:10):
and we then have onlinetrainings that are typically an
hour a month.
To me it's like really the mostimportant thing and it's
interesting.
A lot of the skills, if youwill, that are typically
required in home care whetherit's a warrior lift or how to
use a wheelchair or things likethat you can teach those, but

(10:32):
it's teaching the dynamic of howto manage them and that becomes
so important to what we try todo.
Because we haven't I tell you,we haven't to your point about
the connection between the carepro and the client.
We've had quite a few whorefused to, were refusing with

(10:54):
their family to have care.
We said, okay, let's just tryit.
Very few of those have ended upever stopping.
In fact, most of them haveadded care.
There's been the rare thatthey're having no part of it and
that CarePro would show upevery day.
They wouldn't open the door andthen you have to just
accommodate.
But for the most part, it's theconnection.

(11:16):
Is the caregiver competent?
Are they well-trained?
Is it the right personalitymatch?
Some folks are quiet and theydon't want somebody yammering
the whole time they're there.
Others need the engagement andwant the engagement and want to
talk about their history andtheir rich life.
And so getting that right matchin there and what we tell

(11:39):
people is we can't guaranteethat the first person we're
going to put in there is theright match.
We do everything we can, butwhat we can guarantee is that
we'll fix it right immediately,and when you're dealing with
people, that's probably the bestyou can do.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, personalities, you think you might have the
right person, but yeah, so yougot to try a couple of different
personalities.
We're all a rainbow ofdifferences and so, yeah, it's
wonderful that you guys haveenough care pros to choose from
that you can easily replacesomebody who you know if needed
and I'm sure Fahim is prettygood at matching up caregivers

(12:21):
and seniors at this point,caregivers and clients, and she
knows those caregivers reallywell and she knows probably
which ones go best with whichperson.
But it's great that you haveenough staff that's flexible.
You can sub in somebody else ifneeded or whatever comes up.
But you're right, it's arelationship building experience
and time after time we see thecaregivers and the families grow

(12:46):
very close and would hate tomiss a day without Mary in the
house because they really enjoyhaving her there, whoever that
person is, and so, anyway, Ithink that's a testament.
Also, the longevity of yourhome care agency speaks to that
relationship building with yourcommunity and with the people in

(13:08):
your community.
You guys have been around along time and so that's a place
where people know that you'vebeen around, you know the
community, you know all thecommunities that you serve and
you're not going anywhere.
So to me that is anotheramazing piece of this is
choosing a home care agency thatobviously cares about their

(13:29):
caregivers, cares about theirclients and has longevity
locally.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
As we talk about independence.
The way that folks can maintaintheir independence is Is to
have assistance they can dependon.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Without it being invasive, and as I've gone
through several cases where I'vehad to have help in my home and
nobody wants it.
And yet I'm very particular,you know about it, and it's
because I've learned that it'sthe end user, it's the client

(14:09):
that matters and everybody'sdifferent, as you said, and so
it's not just a cookie cutterkind of approach.
It's understanding the needs,understanding the risks and then
understanding the personalitiesas best one can in putting
those together into somethingthat keeps the client safe and

(14:33):
happy and in fact, independent,because once they move out of
the home, that that changes yes,it certainly does, and yeah,
and that's the whole goal.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
here is the whole goal.
It's independence month, but thewhole goal, all is the whole
goal.
It's Independence Month, but thewhole goal all along, all the
time, is to keep people happyand in their own homes as long
as humanly possible and with theright help and with the right
amount of help, that's certainlyvery possible for a very long
time, maybe for the rest oftheir lives.
It just depends on the person,the disease process or the aging

(15:07):
process, how it has affectedthem.
So I think you guys do a greatjob of keeping people
independent and there are somany ways that you do that, not
only by keeping their routine,but also I think that if we
touched on the driving part,taking away the keys is like
that first step of I'm losing myindependence because I'm not

(15:31):
allowed to drive anymore.
I think that going back to thatis a huge moment in time for
most of us as adults.
To say I can't drive anymore isrough, but having a caregiver
there who can help them get frompoint A to point D whenever
they need to their hairappointment, maybe their church
or grocery shopping or whateverit is those are the things that

(15:55):
keep people active and smilingand healthy and out and about in
their local community.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
We recently started with a Parkinson's client who is
not only is or they hell-benton being independent, but the
family's hell-bent on themremaining independent.
And in this particular case, wetake this gentleman to the
local gym and he walks in thepool.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
An hour a day and it's a constant reminder that,
as we get afflicted with thesevarious conditions and we get
older, that we can slow it down.
We're not stopping it and it'sreally by being independent and
doing whatever we physically can.
And everybody the care pros arejust in love with this guy

(16:52):
because we show up in themorning and he's dressed, ready
to go and we're taking himsomewhere, whether it's the gym
or out to eat or to walk themall, and that's an important
part to walk the mall.
And that's an important part.
And, as you said earlier, oncethey become connected in a
relationship and they haveconfidence in each other, they

(17:12):
in fact have the opportunity tomaintain their independence
because they're engaging in moreactivities.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
And there's so much that folks can do and I would
imagine you've had clients whohaven't been able to get out of
the house for a while thatfinally they have somebody they
can trust and they're able toget out and do a few things that
they just couldn't do before,Even if it's something simple as
eating lunch together or goingto doctor's appointments or

(17:40):
doing a quick grocery shoppingtrip.
Those are the things that theyprobably haven't done in a while
because they couldn't drive orthey just physically couldn't
manage everything all at once,and now they're able to.
And that socialization piece isso important too.
So you guys do a wonderful jobof keeping folks independent.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Thank you, thank you.
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