Episode 3 - Setting Responsible Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t barriers, they’re wisdom. In this episode, we explore how to set responsible boundaries in your career and business through biblical principles and real-life experiences.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, Welcome to the Carry and Faith Podcast, brought
to you by Abisola Danner re Quebec. I'm your girl, Abisola,
and this is the space where Carry and Faith meet.
Each episode will inspire and equip you to grow, work
in purpose, and make your fate work for you in
your career and in your business. This podcast is for everyone,
regardless of your beliefs. Along the way, we would also

(00:22):
draw and encouraging words from the Bible to give the
p insight. Let's get started. Welcome to episode three of
the Carrier and Faith Podcast. If you're looking for growthing
your career or business, or you just need some guidiance
and encouragement for the seas in your end, this podcast

(00:44):
is for you. Today we're going to talk about something
very close to my heart, and we're talking about setting
responsible boundaries. This is an area I've really had to
work on personally, not just since he every but in
real life, in my business, in my career, and honestly,
I see it come up so often with people I

(01:05):
mentor and work with. So I want to share some
of what I've learned more spiritually and practically so that
we can all learn together before we dive in. Let's
break down what I mean by responsible boundaries. For me,
the simplest way to describe it is protecting your space.
A broader definition of this is responsible boundaries are elder

(01:28):
limits we set for ourselves and others to protect our
well being, our values, our time, and our energy while
still respecting other people. These boundaries can be emotional, physical, mental,
or relational. The Bible actually has a reference we can
use for this as well, probabs for twenty three. It says,

(01:48):
above all else, God your heart, for everything you do
flows from it. Guarding your heart is not about shutting
people out. It's about protecting the space where your purposed,
your peace, and your focus comes from. So let's start
with business boundaries because this is one area where I
learned some ad lessons. A lot of times, as Christians

(02:10):
or as individuals, we feel like giving away things for
free somehow makes us more christ Like or makes us
a good person. Maybe you felt this before too. You've
got a business or a talent, and you keep giving
out favors. People would ask you for discounts, people would
ask you for things that you actually are spending time

(02:33):
on for free. This does not mean you shouldn't give discounts.
It doesn't mean you should not perform marketing and loyalty
as part of your business model. However, I want you
to ask, was your business idea or your talent given
so that you could run it for free all the time?
Are you being led to actually give those things for free?
Or are you actually the one who has just decided

(02:57):
to do that. If you're giving out things for free, intentional.
If you're being learned to give something freely, that's beautiful,
but it should be intentional. You can structure it as
a form of giving back, maybe through a charitable arm
of your business especial in its natives that bless more people.
So if you're being let for free, it should not
always be to a select people. If you're being led

(03:19):
to do that for free, you should be acting is
this for a select set of persons or is this
something you want me to build as part of my
model of my business. You have to figure out how
to steward well your business. I remember one situation clearly.
I had a client I knew personally true church. I
gave very big discount because in my head I thought

(03:40):
I was helping. The project ended and months later and
we're talking about. Six months later, she came back acting
for addictional work. I started looking into it and I
mentioned to her I was going to charge that for
that specific new acts, even though I'd already started doing
the work. At that time. I also had order tax spending,
but I wanted to help genuinely, And in that moment,

(04:03):
I felt I was being nurched to stop live it
to focus on the paid work in front of me.
But I not the notch, and in my casemy not
I would always try to the only spirit trying to
guide me. And then it happened. After I asked her
that she was going to pay that, I got one
of the most demoralizing emails I've ever received in my
business journey. My integrity was questioned. All the free work,

(04:26):
all the extra time, all the grace I had given
it was thrown back at me. And it oh deeply.
I wondered how someone I knew personally as a Christian
would do that to me. But you know what happened
in that moment, God reminded me that my talent wasn't
given so that I could give it out for free.
And this was the exact words I heard, Your talent

(04:48):
wasn't given, so you give it out for free. And
when I was directing you to stop the work and
focus on the one you're getting paid for, it's because
I am protecting your space. Not everyone will appreciate these things,
and it does not make them less Christian or less
christ like or less of a good person. I am
working on everyone, which means I will guide you against

(05:11):
any hurt, even from my own. That was the moment
I realized I hadn't been setting boundaries. I was doing
what felt nice, not what was wise. And it wasn't
about being stingy. It was about being a good steward.
And this does not mean that this applies to everyone.
You might have been learned to give things freely, but

(05:32):
I want you to ask yourself, is that what you're
really asked to do? Since this event, I've become more deliberate.
If I offer something for your discountent, it's because I
feel learn to do it, not because I am looking
for societal acceptance. Antil seven, verse six says, do not
give dogs what is sacred. Do not throw your perils
to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under

(05:55):
their feet and turn and tear you to pieces Jesus
was being hash. It was teaching discernment, your time, your skill,
your creativity. Those are pels you have to treat. You
have to treat them as such. So I want you
to look at every area of your business today, or
every area of your career. There are aspects you might

(06:17):
know that maybe you've not set responsible boundaries. Ask yourself,
are you being a good steward. Another aspect of this
is workplace boundaries. This one it's home for many of us.
I have seen this time and time again, especially with
women I mentor. I've met so many intelligent, brilliant women
and men, people with such sharp minds, but they end

(06:40):
up shrinking at work because someone makes belittle in comments,
condescending jokes, or constantly questions their competence. And I always
remind them you are not small. You were made for more.
That job was given to you by God, and you
should be able to shine. We talked about this in
Life last episode. Let your lights so shine. You are chosen.

(07:04):
One practical thing I've learned is to counter disrespect. Ellie.
If someone speaks to you in a way that's belittling,
you can calmly say, I don't appreciate the way you're
speaking to me. Please change the tone. That's not rude.
That's setting a boundary. If someone makes a joke that's
actually disrespectful, you can respond. I know you might see

(07:25):
you're joking, but I don't find that joke healthy. And
if you can't address it directly and it constantly happens,
talk to your manager, talk to HR. It doesn't mean
you're reportting the person. It means you're seeking guidiance and coaching,
and you're also trying to set those boundaries. Don't let
it seemer. When you address things early, you're actually protecting

(07:47):
your environment and your mental space. You can also see
this play out when the Pharisees try to trap Jesus
with many politive questions, like when they asked about stonying
the woman caught in adultery. It didn't react emotionally. He
responded with wisdom. In John eight, verse seven, it says,
let any one of you, always, without saying, be the

(08:07):
first to throw a stone at her. You can ask
for guidance on what you should reply. At that point
in time. That was a boundary. Jesus refused to be
drawn into the Pharisees game, so sometimes people would push you,
would test you as a way of playing a game,
as a way of cutting you to react. The reaction

(08:29):
you should always give is using wisdom and guidance to
respond in ways that would ensure that they do not
do that again. And you have to be the better person.
It doesn't mean you should actually respond back to them
in the same way they've been giving you. Remax. You
don't have to be condescending. You don't have to fall

(08:49):
lower to their level, but you can rise above that.
You can rise above their comments. So certain responsible boundaries
doesn't mean cutting people off or to help anyone. It
means protecting your God giving space, your time, your energy,
your peace, so that you can serve, work and strive
the way God intends. Ephicients five fifteen to sixteen says,

(09:13):
be very careful then how you live, not as unwise,
but as wise, making the most of every opportunity. Boundaries
are part of wisdom. They help you live intentionally. So
whether you're running a business or working in a carrier,
I want to encourage you to guard your heart and

(09:34):
set those boundaries. Ask the only spirit for guidance. If
you know how, and if you don't know how, you
have to. You have the opportunity to seek this knowledge
as well. God isn't asking you to pull from an
empty cup's acting into stealard. Well, what he has placed
in your hands. I'll remind you again about Matthew five
fourteen to sixteen. You are the light of the world.

(09:58):
A city that is set on a hill cannot be eating.
Nor do daylight a lamp and put it on thy basket.
Let your light so shine before men that it miss
your good works, and glorify your Father in heaven. So
stay what well what has been placed on your hands.
And that brings us to the end of our topic today.
If during this episode you felt a yearning or a

(10:20):
pull to know more about God, I invite you to
ask him into your life. God sent his son Jesus
so that we can have an example of our power
and authority in him. And you can pray the spear
with me if you're ready to accept Christs a lot
of Jesus. I believe that you are the son of God.
I confess that I am a sinner, and I ask

(10:41):
for your forgiveness. I believe you died on the cross
from my sins and rose again, giving me victory of
a sin and dead. Today, I accept you as my
Lord and savior or come into my heart, guide my
life and help me leave according to your will. Thank
you for saving me and giving me internnel life in
Jesus name. Amen. If you pray the prayer, please look

(11:04):
for your Bible, believe in church, and continue to learn more.
God loves you. Thank you for listening and if you
like this episode, please share with your friends, calllleagues, family
and everyone around you. Also, watch out for next episode.
I'm looking forward to sharing more with you. It's your girl,
Ebisola signing out.