September 10, 2025 • 22 mins
n this episode of Career Coaching Secrets, host Siya sits down with Stephanie Thoma—public speaking coach, founder, and best-selling author of Confident Introvert. Stephanie shares how her coaching journey evolved organically from helping with resumes to empowering founders, creatives, and leaders to own their voice on stage and beyond. She talks about building confidence as an introvert, her unique “solitude sandwich” strategy, navigating opportunities with intuition, and how to balance speaking as both a craft and a business. Packed with insights on marketing, mindset, and client transformation, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to turn speaking into a sustainable and impactful business.
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Website: https://stephaniethoma.com/
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If you are a career coach looking to grow your business you can find out more about Purple Circle at http://joinpurplecircle.com
Get Exclusive Access to Our In-Depth Analysis of 71 Successful Career Coaches, Learn exactly what worked (and what didn't) in the career coaching industry in 2024: https://joinpurplecircle.com/white-paper-replay
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
STEPHANIE THOMA (00:00):
I am in a couple of paid communities,
professional communities.
One is focused on speakers.
The other is focused onfounders because I am a speaker
and I work with speakers and I'ma founder and I work with
founders.
So it's kind of ideal to be inspaces like that.
And I also, I typically have aone-on-one mentor and I toggle
between having more businessstrategy mentorship and more
(00:24):
holistic personal developmentmentorship.
And sometimes there is a grayarea, but it's very rare.
Davis Nguyen (00:30):
Welcome to Career Coaching Secrets, the podcast
where we talk with successfulcareer coaches on how they built
their success and the hardlessons they learned along the
way.
My name is Davis Nguyen, andI'm the founder of Purple
Circle, where we help careercoaches scale their business to
$100,000 years, $100,000 months,and even $100,000 weeks.
Before Purple Circle, I'vegrown several seven and eight
figure career coaching businessI'll see you next time.
Siya (01:02):
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to another episode ofCareer Coaching Secrets.
My name is Sia, and today I amjoined by Stephanie Thoma.
And Stephanie is a publicspeaking coach who's helped
thousands of founders,creatives, and leaders share
their message with clarity andconfidence.
Stephanie has spoken in HarvardGeneral Assembly and Global
Leadership events.
And her work has been featuredin Forbes, Business Insider,
(01:24):
Entrepreneur, and even GoodMorning Washington.
She also has the best-sellingbook, Confident Introvert, and
runs Connect with Confidence,where she helps thousands of
professionals step intoleadership and make their
message unforgettable.
Welcome, Stephanie.
STEPHANIE THOMA (01:42):
Thank you, Sia.
Good to be here.
Siya (01:44):
Great.
So I just want us to startabout like, tell me a little bit
more about how you got intothis whole career coaching
thing.
What made you start your ownbusiness in this field
specifically?
STEPHANIE THOMA (01:53):
Coaching was not something that I sought to
become.
It was more of a calling.
So people talk about this allthe time, but in my case, I
tried on a variety of differentroles in corporate.
So I was in businessdevelopment, sometime in market
research, sales, marketing,events, field marketing, the
almost every sort of verticalexcept for the tech verticals.
(02:14):
And from there, I remember atone point, someone that I was
dating was like, wait, are youtrying to be CEO?
You've had so many roles.
Like you're prettywell-rounded.
Like you could probably own abusiness.
And I was like, never thoughtof that.
But anyway, you know, itstarted pretty organically where
people were asking me for helpwith their resume and career
coaching.
I think it starts out with,okay, cover letter, resume.
(02:36):
People were asking me foradvice because, you know, this
is before AI.
This is back when you had toknow the skill of formatting and
understanding how to positionyourself and how to talk about
your accomplishments whereyou're not writing a laundry
list of like, I did this tostandard.
It's like, no, I exceeded thisexpectation by this percentage
point.
And really being able to talkyourself up in a way that's
(02:57):
true, but showcases your bestsides.
So I have a knack for seeingthe best in people.
So through that lens, I wasable to help people with resumes
and then I had people asking meabout helping them with cover
letters and interviewpreparation and then from there
I gave my first signature talknetworking for introverts and
people were asking me to coachthem on networking skills and
(03:20):
and now I coach people on publicspeaking so it's really been a
progression guided by me beingforthcoming about what my
strengths are and sort ofleading by example and then
people seeing that in somecapacity and then asking, wait,
can you help me?
So I've been in the coachingspace for almost a decade.
Siya (03:39):
Decade now.
Wow.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
And looking back now, like whatare the most rewarding parts of
your journey that you look atand you're like, wow, I love
STEPHANIE THOMA (03:50):
what I did there.
One of the most rewardingaspects of getting to be in the
position of a coach is Thank youso much.
If I was aware that I couldhave been a coach or that I was
(04:23):
well suited for it earlier, Iprobably could have been doing
this for an even longer amountof time.
But it was something thatrevealed itself over time.
And I didn't even get my owncoach until about five years
ago.
Siya (04:35):
Yeah.
Wow.
And when you say these people,like specifically, who are you
targeting when it comes to likecoaching?
Who is your ideal client or whoare you helping exactly?
STEPHANIE THOMA (04:45):
I love working with founders.
So people who...
have decided to eithertransition out of a nine to five
or maybe they're already there.
So I have some clients thatknow that they want to build up
their personal brand because thejob market is really uncertain.
In recent years, anyone that'sbeen in a job has probably
witnessed their colleagues beinglaid off and let go.
(05:07):
And it's so common these daysthat investing in yourself and
your skills that can sure helpyou at your job, but also you
can take them with you whereveryou go.
So Thank you.
that's one of the great thingsabout investing in a coach and
when it comes to public speakingskills being able to articulate
yourself well and feelconfident in a public setting so
(05:29):
that could be on a stage thatcould actually be in a meeting
also or at a networking eventjust being out in public and
talking and feeling like you'renot going to be a deer in
headlights forgetting everythingthat you wanted to say and that
you're also not going to tripover your words because you only
have one time to make a firstimpression the key
transformation when it comes toto the type of work that I do is
(05:50):
from the inside out so I'mthinking of one of my clients
right now for example she'sactually a really great public
speaker no one would ever knowthat she feels such anxiety and
dread when both before shepublic speaks and when she's up
there because she's sogregarious and cracks jokes with
the audience but she has abigger vision for herself and
(06:13):
her speaking that also includesher feeling good being up there
so I'm It's not always about,oh, so other people can perceive
you in a certain way and try tocontrol for that.
It's like, can you have it all?
Can you go up there and make agreat impression, but also feel
really at ease and even have funin the process?
Siya (06:33):
Yeah, totally.
I like that.
When you say have fun in theprocess, like if somebody is an
introvert, how can they have funin the process?
You know, like what is the bestadvice you can give them on
that one?
STEPHANIE THOMA (06:43):
So let's first define terms.
So an introvert is simplysomeone that gets their energy
from solitude.
And an extrovert is someone whotends to get their energy from
other people.
So that's not to say that anintrovert can't public speak and
enjoy it.
It just means that their energyreserves may be a little more
finite.
So there becomes an opportunityto be more discerning with your
(07:05):
energy, particularly if you'regoing to a networking event or
if you're doing public speaking.
What I like to encourage is aconcept from Confident
Introvert, the book.
It's called a solitude sandwichwhere you take dedicated time
on either end of an activity tobe in your own energy and maybe
you're meditating you could bereading you could be going on a
walk not talking to anyone andthat especially having that
(07:28):
right before and right aftersomething that could be draining
can actually help you be reallypresent and really engaging
with other people and a lot ofreally great public speakers are
actually introverts becausethere can be this potentially a
greater sensitivity to othersthere can be greater observation
(07:48):
skills that are tapped into soyou know a few introverts that
are amazing public speakers youknow we could say Brene Brown
Barack Obama and you know whoelse is an introvert the
entertainer Beyonce so SashaFierce is actually an alter ego
that that she sort of puts onand everyone has the ability to
create an alter ego that's kindof almost in alignment with fake
(08:09):
it till you make it when reallyI think we are multifaceted And
it's not about like, oh, thisalter ego that's so great and so
confident.
It's like, no, that's actuallya part of you that you get to
cherry pick when you show up asthat version of yourself.
Siya (08:24):
Wow, I love that.
That's really interesting.
I'm learning a lot myself here.
STEPHANIE THOMA (08:28):
Oh, I'm glad.
Siya (08:29):
Yeah, totally.
Now, I want us to go back tothe business side of things.
When it comes to marketing, howdo you position yourself?
Where do you go?
How do you market yourself inthis coaching business since
it's very competitive as well?
STEPHANIE THOMA (08:44):
Right.
So I'm not focused on thecompetition.
I'm not looking atleaderboards.
Okay, I'll start with what I'mnot doing.
So I'm not like, oh, look, thisperson in my space.
Oh my gosh, look, they soldmore books or they did this.
It's like, I feel like whenyou're on your path and you're
focused on, okay, I'm going totake the next aligned step and
(09:05):
I'm going to be visible, not forthe sake of being visible and
like oh look here's a gold starbecause you were visible today
it's like no like actually do itfor a greater purpose like
there's someone out there thatreally needs your help so you
know I walk the talk so to speakI have a community on LinkedIn
called unmute yourself speakercommunity and there are a
(09:25):
variety of different visibilitysprints where I have a series of
questions and I lead by exampleI say okay here's how I would
answer it it's like tell meabout a time when you overcame
an obstacle it's like it's niceand broad where people typically
have stories in their minds orif not this is something that i
help people with come up with astory bank so that on the drop
of the hat you can tell acompelling story that helps
(09:46):
people connect with what you'redoing and yeah i go through
these prompts and i share aquick two-minute story And I
don't model perfection.
I'm modeling, hey, this is megetting out there and giving,
you know, sometimes it fallsflat.
Other times people are like,you know, in the DMs, oh my
gosh, I resonated with that onsuch a deep level.
Thank you for posting that.
(10:07):
Someone that I don't even know.
So it's really...
Deciding to try new things andexperiment.
Many entrepreneurs that I know,they're not doing things the
way they've always been done.
They're like, well, wait, it'snot about reinventing the wheel.
But it's like, there isn't evena wheel, so to speak.
It's time to try differentthings and see what sticks.
Siya (10:26):
Yeah, right.
I like that.
And now, would you say youonly...
using LinkedIn or there'sany...
STEPHANIE THOMA (10:32):
You know, okay.
Earlier in my coaching career,I was everywhere.
I was focused on Instagram fora while, but then also
repurposing content on Facebookand even Twitter sometimes.
I mean, now I'm like, I don'teven touch Twitter.
I'm like, there's so muchthere.
But now I still post, I'veposted a weekly YouTube video
(10:54):
for the past four and a halfyears.
And, you know, I'm alwayslearning.
There's definitely more for meto learn on that platform.
But hey, I'm consistent.
And if, you know, it's notalways about like, oh, and I
have half a million subscribers.
Sometimes it's like, oh,there's someone from my email
newsletter that sees one of myYouTube videos.
And maybe it has like 100views.
(11:15):
But if the right person seesit, it strikes a chord.
And then there's a conversationthat can come from that.
So right now, my focus is onLinkedIn.
And I also just, I've beencreating YouTubes for so long,
I'm continuing that.
Siya (11:27):
Like that.
Totally like that.
And like, is there any goalsthat you have in maybe...
maybe say one year to threeyears from now, is there
anything that you're lookingforward to reach in your
coaching business?
STEPHANIE THOMA (11:40):
Certainly.
Yeah.
So I have my benchmarks interms of clients served.
And then typically with myclients, I have both stretch
goals and realistic goals.
And sometimes my clients willcome to me and they'll typically
start out with either one ofthe two, right?
Goals that I deem as realisticor stretch.
(12:00):
And then it's time to be like,okay, instead of being like,
this is the only benchmark, thisor nothing, it's important to
be able to celebrate milestonesalong the way.
And how that can be achieved isby having one primary mission
and then a variety of markers ofsuccess that give you a range.
Because yeah, we can't alwayscontrol who says yes to us or
what opportunities are attained.
(12:22):
it's like okay maybe instead ofspeaking at a new college every
single week maybe you're likei'm going to send out 100
proposals every week and then ifyou're not getting that one a
week that's a one percentconversion you have to start
tweaking and doing somethingdifferent so yeah we we learn by
doing but also because i i'vebeen in this speaker world for
(12:43):
over eight years now i'm able toeither sometimes open doors
with the connections that I haveor give frameworks that my
clients can utilize to opentheir own doors.
I
Siya (12:55):
like that.
And now when it comes toinvesting, are there any
investments that you're doing toget to those goals of helping
clients get
STEPHANIE THOMA (13:04):
to their goals?
Yeah, so I'm in a couple ofpaid communities, professional
communities.
One is focused on speakers.
The other is focused onfounders because I am a speaker
and I work with speakers.
and I'm a founder and I workwith founders.
So it's kind of ideal to be inspaces like that.
And I also, I typically have aone-on-one mentor and I toggle
(13:24):
between having more businessstrategy mentorship and more
holistic personal developmentmentorship.
And sometimes there is a grayarea, but it's very rare that I
work with someone and they are100% all about the numbers and
the business.
I do think that we are holisticand that's how I work with
clients as well.
I am very numerically drivenand it's pretty intuitive to me
(13:48):
to be able to create a planthat's very actionable and
measurable.
There's the human piece ofintuition and being able to
determine like, wait, okay, Idon't have a logical reason for
this, but hey, how about you trythat?
And then see how that goes.
And, you know, I'll even give ashort example of a time when I
was in a founder community andsomeone that I had never met
(14:12):
ended up in my Facebook DMs andI recognized her name from the
community.
And she said, hey, I think youshould join this five day
challenge.
And it was so random.
And actually it was about beingvisible online.
And this was about five yearsago now, I would say.
And it's weird.
I looked at it and I was like,oh, interesting.
She thinks I should join thisand she doesn't know why.
(14:34):
And then I just joined it.
I think it was about $50 to dothis five day challenge.
And wouldn't you know, I winthe challenge, the grand prize
worth $15,000.
Wow.
So there's something to be saidfor intuition.
And if you are not attuned toyour own yet, or you're still
growing in your attunement,maybe consider listening to
others' intentions.
And I could have talked myselfout of that.
Okay, wait, who is this personin my DMs?
(14:55):
Like, who is she?
And like, okay, cool.
She wants me to spend $50 onthis program.
Is she an affiliate?
Like, why?
And like, oh, I'm not reallyexcited by it.
Not a good time.
Later.
And guess what?
I would have missed out on this$15,000 prize, which included
entry to this upscale event inNew York City and access to a
mastermind.
that other people were payingfar more than $50 to be a part
(15:16):
of.
Yeah, so I'm going to speak tothe speakers or the aspiring
speakers right now.
And you can learn by doing.
However, you don't have anotherchance to make a first
impression.
The best thing that you can dois get practice speaking in
low-stakes situations.
Now is not necessarily the timeto apply for the TEDx talk.
(15:37):
or to apply for the Ivy Leaguecollege or, but here's the
thing.
If those opportunities come toyou quickly, then say yes and
prepare.
However, it's important to, youknow, I'm thinking about all
the times that I public spokeless formally.
So I've been an MC.
and curating and leadingpanels, discussions.
(15:58):
And I did that for actually atleast a couple of years before
moving on to my own keynote.
And not to say you need to dothat, but I got a sense of
comfortability in publicspeaking and also a
comfortability in being off thecuff.
in being able to have seamlesstransitions and to really guide
other people in theirstorytelling.
And then I was able to flipthat and actually do that for
(16:21):
myself.
So yeah, it's one of thosesituations where I actually have
not had a dedicated speakercoach myself, but I have had
business coaches that havehelped me with the business
side.
So when I work with speakers,let's say that they're a great
speaker, I can also help themwith the business side of
things.
Because to have something be abusiness, anyone can kind of go
(16:41):
out and speak for free and thenmaybe have it not translate into
clients.
Then it's like, okay, is that abusiness or a hobby?
And if you want it to be ahobby, that's fine.
But if you would like it to bean income stream, then typically
there are best practices.
And one of those being justdiscerning when to speak for
free versus when to charge.
And even things, you know, I'llput a couple nuggets out there
(17:03):
for those who are listening.
As a speaker, you want to beable to, you know, if there is a
pro bono speaking gig thatyou're doing, you want to look
out for, okay, so I'm doing thispro bono this time.
You're not promising that everyyear you're just going to be
their free speaker or whateverit is.
But okay, can you refer me tosomeone who may potentially be a
paying client of mine on thespeaking circuit?
(17:27):
And Also, can you write me atestimonial?
And also, yeah, it's can Ipitch?
Can I talk about my services?
And because if you can gainclients on the back end of a
talk, then that could even bemore than what you would have
gotten as a speaker fee.
So there are so many ways towork it, so many foundational
(17:47):
things that working with someonethat you resonate with.
Like, I want to talk about thisfor a moment, if you don't
mind.
that some people hire a coachbecause they think this coach
has gotten people results eventhough they don't feel a
connection to the coach andthey're just like oh I think
this person okay I think I thinkthat they have the information
or everyone raves about thisperson but having a coach
(18:11):
one-on-one in particular is sucha personal relationship and
such a personal decision thateven if This is not where you
want to shop around and getlike, you know, the lowest price
ever.
Like, it comes down to who youresonate with and if they embody
qualities.
And if they've accomplishedthings that you want to
(18:31):
accomplish and you just like,like how they show up and you're
like, oh, what a privilege.
How cool would that be toactually interface with this
person regularly?
Because your mentors certainlyrub off on you.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, yeah.
So what we were justdiscussing, I kind of flipped
it, but it's like, okay, whatyou, what you don't want to do
(18:52):
is buy because everyone issaying, oh my gosh, you have to
work with so-and-so.
And then you even look atvideos of them on and it falls
flat for you.
You're like, oh, I don't seetheir magic, but like, okay,
I'll throw money at it.
And then guess what?
You don't get results from it.
And then, or another one whereyou're thinking where it's just
purely in your mind, you know,I'm speaking right now to the
people who have ever felt likethey're just trying to crunch
(19:15):
numbers and, you know, make itlogically make sense.
A lot of success is not goingto make a lot of sense.
So I'll give an example of atime when I took a chance that
didn't make any sense, but itwas a great thing that I think I
did for my career where I gavemy networking workshop in
January.
And then at that point in time,I didn't have a coaching offer
(19:36):
specific to that, but I hadmultiple people asking me for
one-on-one coaching after that.
So I'm like, oh, let me gocreate that.
And then I was also invited togive a talk in Tokyo, like out
of the country.
I'd never given, so I was inCalifornia at this time.
And literally, what was it?
Five weeks.
five weeks difference and Isaid yes even though I'd only
(19:58):
given the talk one time so thenI gave it to an international
business audience and I wasessentially teaching people in
Tokyo how to network in Americaso I was kind of representing
America and I could have talkedmyself out of it I've been like
oh I've only given this talkonce oh like thanks for the
offer can we postpone it butanother lesson I learned the
hard way that I'm not going togo into but I can think of at
(20:20):
least one opportunity where Ididn't say yes because I
thought, ooh, I need more time.
And sometimes you regret it foryears.
Don't let that happen to you,you know?
But you have to be discerning,wait, am I saying no because of
love or fear?
Do not make fear-baseddecisions if you are feeling
afraid.
But maybe, you know, you'rethinking of all the worst case
(20:41):
scenarios or maybe you're inyour head like, oh, but I would
have to fly to New York and Iwas just there last month.
But it's like, okay, if it's anamazing opportunity, you take
it.
You do the illogical thingwhere there's a little bit of
magic in it versus throwingmoney at something because it's
logically right or like, youknow, saying no to something
because it would be like hard todo.
(21:03):
You know, sometimes you need tothink of your future self and
will you be thankful to havesaid yes And then maybe with
whatever time you had, then noseto the grindstone, you get
ready for it if you're not yetready.
Thank you, Sia.
This has been fun.
I appreciate this.
Thanks for having me on.
You can go to stephanietoma,T-H-O-M-A.com.
(21:24):
If you want to get my weeklyemail newsletter, that'll be
stephanietoma.com slashnewsletter.
I'm on all social mediachannels, including LinkedIn.
It would be at stephaniemtoma.
And yeah, go ahead and join,unmute yourself if speaking is
on your radar.
Davis Nguyen (21:39):
That's it for this episode of Career Coaching
Secrets.
If you enjoyed thisconversation, you can subscribe
on YouTube, Spotify, ApplePodcasts, or wherever you're
listening to this episode tocatch future episodes.
This podcast was brought to youby Purple Circle, where we help
career coaches scale theirbusiness to $100,000 years,
$100,000 months, or even$100,000 weeks, all without
burning out and making sure thatyou're making the impact and
(22:00):
having the life that you want.
To learn more about ourcommunity and how we can help
you visit joinpurplecircle.com.
I am in a couple of paid communities,
professional communities.
One is focused on speakers.
The other is focused onfounders because I am a speaker
and I work with speakers and I'ma founder and I work with
founders.
So it's kind of ideal to be inspaces like that.
And I also, I typically have aone-on-one mentor and I toggle
between having more businessstrategy mentorship and more
(00:24):
holistic personal developmentmentorship.
And sometimes there is a grayarea, but it's very rare.
Davis Nguyen (00:30):
Welcome to Career Coaching Secrets, the podcast
where we talk with successfulcareer coaches on how they built
their success and the hardlessons they learned along the
way.
My name is Davis Nguyen, andI'm the founder of Purple
Circle, where we help careercoaches scale their business to
$100,000 years, $100,000 months,and even $100,000 weeks.
Before Purple Circle, I'vegrown several seven and eight
figure career coaching businessI'll see you next time.
Siya (01:02):
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to another episode ofCareer Coaching Secrets.
My name is Sia, and today I amjoined by Stephanie Thoma.
And Stephanie is a publicspeaking coach who's helped
thousands of founders,creatives, and leaders share
their message with clarity andconfidence.
Stephanie has spoken in HarvardGeneral Assembly and Global
Leadership events.
And her work has been featuredin Forbes, Business Insider,
(01:24):
Entrepreneur, and even GoodMorning Washington.
She also has the best-sellingbook, Confident Introvert, and
runs Connect with Confidence,where she helps thousands of
professionals step intoleadership and make their
message unforgettable.
Welcome, Stephanie.
STEPHANIE THOMA (01:42):
Thank you, Sia.
Good to be here.
Siya (01:44):
Great.
So I just want us to startabout like, tell me a little bit
more about how you got intothis whole career coaching
thing.
What made you start your ownbusiness in this field
specifically?
STEPHANIE THOMA (01:53):
Coaching was not something that I sought to
become.
It was more of a calling.
So people talk about this allthe time, but in my case, I
tried on a variety of differentroles in corporate.
So I was in businessdevelopment, sometime in market
research, sales, marketing,events, field marketing, the
almost every sort of verticalexcept for the tech verticals.
(02:14):
And from there, I remember atone point, someone that I was
dating was like, wait, are youtrying to be CEO?
You've had so many roles.
Like you're prettywell-rounded.
Like you could probably own abusiness.
And I was like, never thoughtof that.
But anyway, you know, itstarted pretty organically where
people were asking me for helpwith their resume and career
coaching.
I think it starts out with,okay, cover letter, resume.
(02:36):
People were asking me foradvice because, you know, this
is before AI.
This is back when you had toknow the skill of formatting and
understanding how to positionyourself and how to talk about
your accomplishments whereyou're not writing a laundry
list of like, I did this tostandard.
It's like, no, I exceeded thisexpectation by this percentage
point.
And really being able to talkyourself up in a way that's
(02:57):
true, but showcases your bestsides.
So I have a knack for seeingthe best in people.
So through that lens, I wasable to help people with resumes
and then I had people asking meabout helping them with cover
letters and interviewpreparation and then from there
I gave my first signature talknetworking for introverts and
people were asking me to coachthem on networking skills and
(03:20):
and now I coach people on publicspeaking so it's really been a
progression guided by me beingforthcoming about what my
strengths are and sort ofleading by example and then
people seeing that in somecapacity and then asking, wait,
can you help me?
So I've been in the coachingspace for almost a decade.
Siya (03:39):
Decade now.
Wow.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
And looking back now, like whatare the most rewarding parts of
your journey that you look atand you're like, wow, I love
STEPHANIE THOMA (03:50):
what I did there.
One of the most rewardingaspects of getting to be in the
position of a coach is Thank youso much.
If I was aware that I couldhave been a coach or that I was
(04:23):
well suited for it earlier, Iprobably could have been doing
this for an even longer amountof time.
But it was something thatrevealed itself over time.
And I didn't even get my owncoach until about five years
ago.
Siya (04:35):
Yeah.
Wow.
And when you say these people,like specifically, who are you
targeting when it comes to likecoaching?
Who is your ideal client or whoare you helping exactly?
STEPHANIE THOMA (04:45):
I love working with founders.
So people who...
have decided to eithertransition out of a nine to five
or maybe they're already there.
So I have some clients thatknow that they want to build up
their personal brand because thejob market is really uncertain.
In recent years, anyone that'sbeen in a job has probably
witnessed their colleagues beinglaid off and let go.
(05:07):
And it's so common these daysthat investing in yourself and
your skills that can sure helpyou at your job, but also you
can take them with you whereveryou go.
So Thank you.
that's one of the great thingsabout investing in a coach and
when it comes to public speakingskills being able to articulate
yourself well and feelconfident in a public setting so
(05:29):
that could be on a stage thatcould actually be in a meeting
also or at a networking eventjust being out in public and
talking and feeling like you'renot going to be a deer in
headlights forgetting everythingthat you wanted to say and that
you're also not going to tripover your words because you only
have one time to make a firstimpression the key
transformation when it comes toto the type of work that I do is
(05:50):
from the inside out so I'mthinking of one of my clients
right now for example she'sactually a really great public
speaker no one would ever knowthat she feels such anxiety and
dread when both before shepublic speaks and when she's up
there because she's sogregarious and cracks jokes with
the audience but she has abigger vision for herself and
(06:13):
her speaking that also includesher feeling good being up there
so I'm It's not always about,oh, so other people can perceive
you in a certain way and try tocontrol for that.
It's like, can you have it all?
Can you go up there and make agreat impression, but also feel
really at ease and even have funin the process?
Siya (06:33):
Yeah, totally.
I like that.
When you say have fun in theprocess, like if somebody is an
introvert, how can they have funin the process?
You know, like what is the bestadvice you can give them on
that one?
STEPHANIE THOMA (06:43):
So let's first define terms.
So an introvert is simplysomeone that gets their energy
from solitude.
And an extrovert is someone whotends to get their energy from
other people.
So that's not to say that anintrovert can't public speak and
enjoy it.
It just means that their energyreserves may be a little more
finite.
So there becomes an opportunityto be more discerning with your
(07:05):
energy, particularly if you'regoing to a networking event or
if you're doing public speaking.
What I like to encourage is aconcept from Confident
Introvert, the book.
It's called a solitude sandwichwhere you take dedicated time
on either end of an activity tobe in your own energy and maybe
you're meditating you could bereading you could be going on a
walk not talking to anyone andthat especially having that
(07:28):
right before and right aftersomething that could be draining
can actually help you be reallypresent and really engaging
with other people and a lot ofreally great public speakers are
actually introverts becausethere can be this potentially a
greater sensitivity to othersthere can be greater observation
(07:48):
skills that are tapped into soyou know a few introverts that
are amazing public speakers youknow we could say Brene Brown
Barack Obama and you know whoelse is an introvert the
entertainer Beyonce so SashaFierce is actually an alter ego
that that she sort of puts onand everyone has the ability to
create an alter ego that's kindof almost in alignment with fake
(08:09):
it till you make it when reallyI think we are multifaceted And
it's not about like, oh, thisalter ego that's so great and so
confident.
It's like, no, that's actuallya part of you that you get to
cherry pick when you show up asthat version of yourself.
Siya (08:24):
Wow, I love that.
That's really interesting.
I'm learning a lot myself here.
STEPHANIE THOMA (08:28):
Oh, I'm glad.
Siya (08:29):
Yeah, totally.
Now, I want us to go back tothe business side of things.
When it comes to marketing, howdo you position yourself?
Where do you go?
How do you market yourself inthis coaching business since
it's very competitive as well?
STEPHANIE THOMA (08:44):
Right.
So I'm not focused on thecompetition.
I'm not looking atleaderboards.
Okay, I'll start with what I'mnot doing.
So I'm not like, oh, look, thisperson in my space.
Oh my gosh, look, they soldmore books or they did this.
It's like, I feel like whenyou're on your path and you're
focused on, okay, I'm going totake the next aligned step and
(09:05):
I'm going to be visible, not forthe sake of being visible and
like oh look here's a gold starbecause you were visible today
it's like no like actually do itfor a greater purpose like
there's someone out there thatreally needs your help so you
know I walk the talk so to speakI have a community on LinkedIn
called unmute yourself speakercommunity and there are a
(09:25):
variety of different visibilitysprints where I have a series of
questions and I lead by exampleI say okay here's how I would
answer it it's like tell meabout a time when you overcame
an obstacle it's like it's niceand broad where people typically
have stories in their minds orif not this is something that i
help people with come up with astory bank so that on the drop
of the hat you can tell acompelling story that helps
(09:46):
people connect with what you'redoing and yeah i go through
these prompts and i share aquick two-minute story And I
don't model perfection.
I'm modeling, hey, this is megetting out there and giving,
you know, sometimes it fallsflat.
Other times people are like,you know, in the DMs, oh my
gosh, I resonated with that onsuch a deep level.
Thank you for posting that.
(10:07):
Someone that I don't even know.
So it's really...
Deciding to try new things andexperiment.
Many entrepreneurs that I know,they're not doing things the
way they've always been done.
They're like, well, wait, it'snot about reinventing the wheel.
But it's like, there isn't evena wheel, so to speak.
It's time to try differentthings and see what sticks.
Siya (10:26):
Yeah, right.
I like that.
And now, would you say youonly...
using LinkedIn or there'sany...
STEPHANIE THOMA (10:32):
You know, okay.
Earlier in my coaching career,I was everywhere.
I was focused on Instagram fora while, but then also
repurposing content on Facebookand even Twitter sometimes.
I mean, now I'm like, I don'teven touch Twitter.
I'm like, there's so muchthere.
But now I still post, I'veposted a weekly YouTube video
(10:54):
for the past four and a halfyears.
And, you know, I'm alwayslearning.
There's definitely more for meto learn on that platform.
But hey, I'm consistent.
And if, you know, it's notalways about like, oh, and I
have half a million subscribers.
Sometimes it's like, oh,there's someone from my email
newsletter that sees one of myYouTube videos.
And maybe it has like 100views.
(11:15):
But if the right person seesit, it strikes a chord.
And then there's a conversationthat can come from that.
So right now, my focus is onLinkedIn.
And I also just, I've beencreating YouTubes for so long,
I'm continuing that.
Siya (11:27):
Like that.
Totally like that.
And like, is there any goalsthat you have in maybe...
maybe say one year to threeyears from now, is there
anything that you're lookingforward to reach in your
coaching business?
STEPHANIE THOMA (11:40):
Certainly.
Yeah.
So I have my benchmarks interms of clients served.
And then typically with myclients, I have both stretch
goals and realistic goals.
And sometimes my clients willcome to me and they'll typically
start out with either one ofthe two, right?
Goals that I deem as realisticor stretch.
(12:00):
And then it's time to be like,okay, instead of being like,
this is the only benchmark, thisor nothing, it's important to
be able to celebrate milestonesalong the way.
And how that can be achieved isby having one primary mission
and then a variety of markers ofsuccess that give you a range.
Because yeah, we can't alwayscontrol who says yes to us or
what opportunities are attained.
(12:22):
it's like okay maybe instead ofspeaking at a new college every
single week maybe you're likei'm going to send out 100
proposals every week and then ifyou're not getting that one a
week that's a one percentconversion you have to start
tweaking and doing somethingdifferent so yeah we we learn by
doing but also because i i'vebeen in this speaker world for
(12:43):
over eight years now i'm able toeither sometimes open doors
with the connections that I haveor give frameworks that my
clients can utilize to opentheir own doors.
I
Siya (12:55):
like that.
And now when it comes toinvesting, are there any
investments that you're doing toget to those goals of helping
clients get
STEPHANIE THOMA (13:04):
to their goals?
Yeah, so I'm in a couple ofpaid communities, professional
communities.
One is focused on speakers.
The other is focused onfounders because I am a speaker
and I work with speakers.
and I'm a founder and I workwith founders.
So it's kind of ideal to be inspaces like that.
And I also, I typically have aone-on-one mentor and I toggle
(13:24):
between having more businessstrategy mentorship and more
holistic personal developmentmentorship.
And sometimes there is a grayarea, but it's very rare that I
work with someone and they are100% all about the numbers and
the business.
I do think that we are holisticand that's how I work with
clients as well.
I am very numerically drivenand it's pretty intuitive to me
(13:48):
to be able to create a planthat's very actionable and
measurable.
There's the human piece ofintuition and being able to
determine like, wait, okay, Idon't have a logical reason for
this, but hey, how about you trythat?
And then see how that goes.
And, you know, I'll even give ashort example of a time when I
was in a founder community andsomeone that I had never met
(14:12):
ended up in my Facebook DMs andI recognized her name from the
community.
And she said, hey, I think youshould join this five day
challenge.
And it was so random.
And actually it was about beingvisible online.
And this was about five yearsago now, I would say.
And it's weird.
I looked at it and I was like,oh, interesting.
She thinks I should join thisand she doesn't know why.
(14:34):
And then I just joined it.
I think it was about $50 to dothis five day challenge.
And wouldn't you know, I winthe challenge, the grand prize
worth $15,000.
Wow.
So there's something to be saidfor intuition.
And if you are not attuned toyour own yet, or you're still
growing in your attunement,maybe consider listening to
others' intentions.
And I could have talked myselfout of that.
Okay, wait, who is this personin my DMs?
(14:55):
Like, who is she?
And like, okay, cool.
She wants me to spend $50 onthis program.
Is she an affiliate?
Like, why?
And like, oh, I'm not reallyexcited by it.
Not a good time.
Later.
And guess what?
I would have missed out on this$15,000 prize, which included
entry to this upscale event inNew York City and access to a
mastermind.
that other people were payingfar more than $50 to be a part
(15:16):
of.
Yeah, so I'm going to speak tothe speakers or the aspiring
speakers right now.
And you can learn by doing.
However, you don't have anotherchance to make a first
impression.
The best thing that you can dois get practice speaking in
low-stakes situations.
Now is not necessarily the timeto apply for the TEDx talk.
(15:37):
or to apply for the Ivy Leaguecollege or, but here's the
thing.
If those opportunities come toyou quickly, then say yes and
prepare.
However, it's important to, youknow, I'm thinking about all
the times that I public spokeless formally.
So I've been an MC.
and curating and leadingpanels, discussions.
(15:58):
And I did that for actually atleast a couple of years before
moving on to my own keynote.
And not to say you need to dothat, but I got a sense of
comfortability in publicspeaking and also a
comfortability in being off thecuff.
in being able to have seamlesstransitions and to really guide
other people in theirstorytelling.
And then I was able to flipthat and actually do that for
(16:21):
myself.
So yeah, it's one of thosesituations where I actually have
not had a dedicated speakercoach myself, but I have had
business coaches that havehelped me with the business
side.
So when I work with speakers,let's say that they're a great
speaker, I can also help themwith the business side of
things.
Because to have something be abusiness, anyone can kind of go
(16:41):
out and speak for free and thenmaybe have it not translate into
clients.
Then it's like, okay, is that abusiness or a hobby?
And if you want it to be ahobby, that's fine.
But if you would like it to bean income stream, then typically
there are best practices.
And one of those being justdiscerning when to speak for
free versus when to charge.
And even things, you know, I'llput a couple nuggets out there
(17:03):
for those who are listening.
As a speaker, you want to beable to, you know, if there is a
pro bono speaking gig thatyou're doing, you want to look
out for, okay, so I'm doing thispro bono this time.
You're not promising that everyyear you're just going to be
their free speaker or whateverit is.
But okay, can you refer me tosomeone who may potentially be a
paying client of mine on thespeaking circuit?
(17:27):
And Also, can you write me atestimonial?
And also, yeah, it's can Ipitch?
Can I talk about my services?
And because if you can gainclients on the back end of a
talk, then that could even bemore than what you would have
gotten as a speaker fee.
So there are so many ways towork it, so many foundational
(17:47):
things that working with someonethat you resonate with.
Like, I want to talk about thisfor a moment, if you don't
mind.
that some people hire a coachbecause they think this coach
has gotten people results eventhough they don't feel a
connection to the coach andthey're just like oh I think
this person okay I think I thinkthat they have the information
or everyone raves about thisperson but having a coach
(18:11):
one-on-one in particular is sucha personal relationship and
such a personal decision thateven if This is not where you
want to shop around and getlike, you know, the lowest price
ever.
Like, it comes down to who youresonate with and if they embody
qualities.
And if they've accomplishedthings that you want to
(18:31):
accomplish and you just like,like how they show up and you're
like, oh, what a privilege.
How cool would that be toactually interface with this
person regularly?
Because your mentors certainlyrub off on you.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, yeah.
So what we were justdiscussing, I kind of flipped
it, but it's like, okay, whatyou, what you don't want to do
(18:52):
is buy because everyone issaying, oh my gosh, you have to
work with so-and-so.
And then you even look atvideos of them on and it falls
flat for you.
You're like, oh, I don't seetheir magic, but like, okay,
I'll throw money at it.
And then guess what?
You don't get results from it.
And then, or another one whereyou're thinking where it's just
purely in your mind, you know,I'm speaking right now to the
people who have ever felt likethey're just trying to crunch
(19:15):
numbers and, you know, make itlogically make sense.
A lot of success is not goingto make a lot of sense.
So I'll give an example of atime when I took a chance that
didn't make any sense, but itwas a great thing that I think I
did for my career where I gavemy networking workshop in
January.
And then at that point in time,I didn't have a coaching offer
(19:36):
specific to that, but I hadmultiple people asking me for
one-on-one coaching after that.
So I'm like, oh, let me gocreate that.
And then I was also invited togive a talk in Tokyo, like out
of the country.
I'd never given, so I was inCalifornia at this time.
And literally, what was it?
Five weeks.
five weeks difference and Isaid yes even though I'd only
(19:58):
given the talk one time so thenI gave it to an international
business audience and I wasessentially teaching people in
Tokyo how to network in Americaso I was kind of representing
America and I could have talkedmyself out of it I've been like
oh I've only given this talkonce oh like thanks for the
offer can we postpone it butanother lesson I learned the
hard way that I'm not going togo into but I can think of at
(20:20):
least one opportunity where Ididn't say yes because I
thought, ooh, I need more time.
And sometimes you regret it foryears.
Don't let that happen to you,you know?
But you have to be discerning,wait, am I saying no because of
love or fear?
Do not make fear-baseddecisions if you are feeling
afraid.
But maybe, you know, you'rethinking of all the worst case
(20:41):
scenarios or maybe you're inyour head like, oh, but I would
have to fly to New York and Iwas just there last month.
But it's like, okay, if it's anamazing opportunity, you take
it.
You do the illogical thingwhere there's a little bit of
magic in it versus throwingmoney at something because it's
logically right or like, youknow, saying no to something
because it would be like hard todo.
(21:03):
You know, sometimes you need tothink of your future self and
will you be thankful to havesaid yes And then maybe with
whatever time you had, then noseto the grindstone, you get
ready for it if you're not yetready.
Thank you, Sia.
This has been fun.
I appreciate this.
Thanks for having me on.
You can go to stephanietoma,T-H-O-M-A.com.
(21:24):
If you want to get my weeklyemail newsletter, that'll be
stephanietoma.com slashnewsletter.
I'm on all social mediachannels, including LinkedIn.
It would be at stephaniemtoma.
And yeah, go ahead and join,unmute yourself if speaking is
on your radar.
Davis Nguyen (21:39):
That's it for this episode of Career Coaching
Secrets.
If you enjoyed thisconversation, you can subscribe
on YouTube, Spotify, ApplePodcasts, or wherever you're
listening to this episode tocatch future episodes.
This podcast was brought to youby Purple Circle, where we help
career coaches scale theirbusiness to $100,000 years,
$100,000 months, or even$100,000 weeks, all without
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(22:00):
having the life that you want.
To learn more about ourcommunity and how we can help
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