September 9, 2025 • 44 mins
CBS Radio Mystery Theater was a noteworthy attempt to revive in American radio dramas like Inner Sanctum (1941-1952) and Suspense (1942-1962). Radio dramas were widely considered "dead" 12 years prior to this series. CBS Radio Mystery Theater, or simply Mystery Theater, was created by Inner Sanctum creator Himan Brown and ran on CBS from 1974-1982. The show, much like older radio dramas, was introduced by a host (E.G. Marshall in this program), who steers us through the creaking door to start the episode. Many voices from the golden age of radio were featured, including Richard Widmark, Bret Morrison, Agnes Moorehead and many more.
Hope you enjoy this episode of Mystery Theater! Find all our OTR radio stations and podcasts at theaterofthemind-otr.com - Audio Credit: The Old Time Radio Researchers Group. - All Podcasts @ Spreaker | Apple | YouTube | Spotify | iHeart | Amazon
Hope you enjoy this episode of Mystery Theater! Find all our OTR radio stations and podcasts at theaterofthemind-otr.com - Audio Credit: The Old Time Radio Researchers Group. - All Podcasts @ Spreaker | Apple | YouTube | Spotify | iHeart | Amazon
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Come in welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I'm a g Marshall. The past is like a funeral
gone by. The future comes like an unwelcome guest. The
future the impenetrable, imponderable future. As the song says, who
knows what tomorrow will bring?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well? Would you like to know?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
The rest of your life is a book that has
not yet been printed? However, would you like an advanced copy?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
A sort of pre publication preview?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
The purpose of the next hour is to make you
think about it.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Are you sorry you married me?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
What kind of a question is there?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Answer it? Gretchen?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
It depends on how I feel at any given time.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
How do you feel most of the time?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Most of the time I say I was sorry?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Why don't you do something about it? Now that you
mention it, I've been planning to You want to talk
about divorce?
Speaker 4 (01:23):
No, I've got a better way, a quicker way, right
here in my purse. Gretchen, you should know how divorce.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Is a sin.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Our mystery drama Tomorrow's Murder was written especially for the
mystery theater by Sam Dan and stars Robert Dryden. It
is sponsored in part by sign Off the Sinus Medicines
and Buick Motor Division. I'll be back shortly with Act
one open space. How the suffocated cities cry for green fields,
(02:17):
tall trees, and how few are the lush and verdant places. Well,
you do have Morrison City Memorial Park, which quite frankly
is a cemetery. When it was laid out years ago,
it was on the outskirts of town. But Morrison City
grew up to around.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
And passed Memorial Park, and it is.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Now surrounded by offices, shops, homes.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Apartment houses. People go for.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Walks along its broad pathways. They rest on its benches,
and why not shouldn't it please the dead to play
host to the living.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Herald k Starbright usually has a relaxed and leisurely.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Strolled through Memorial Park right after lunch, and as he
walks along, a rather well dressed gentleman speaks to you.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I beg your pardon, sir. May I trouble you for
a lunch?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I don't think I have one because I stopped smoking.
I oh, oh, yes, yes here Keith, the pell Are
you very kind? I thought, really kind? I would have
refused you. What you're doing after all? The Terrapyes? I know,
I know, I'm afraid I don't have enough character to
break the habit. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
After all, I am a perfect stranger. Well that's true,
(03:34):
but you see, only strangers can be perfect. Our friends
we know all too well. You come here often? Yes, Yes,
my office is right across the street. Delightful place for
a bit of fresh air. Is one of my favorite
haunts too. Or is that a proper word. I hope
we've ever seen you before. Well, I have a hobby,
(03:56):
so I suppose you would call it a hobby. Exactly
what is it? Cemetry sculpture? Oh, it's hardly the type
of thing you want to collect, or could for that matter,
sanitary sculpture. Yes, and if you think about it, it's
the most prevalent form of sculpture there is. Yes, I
suppose so. And it's an art form not to be despised.
(04:20):
For example, that statue, it's a beautiful little thing, how graceful. Yeah,
now that you mentioned it, I've never really noticed it.
And on that monument, notice the relief, how clean and crisp.
You know, you've opened my eyes to an entirely new thing. Well,
(04:40):
not all of it, of course, is noteworthy, But here
and there you encounter a gym. Here's what I'm doing
about this tombstone. How exquisitely proportioned, a simple shaft of stone,
but what perfect balance of the delicate scroll work along
the sides and the top almost philip reed lace, you know, yes,
(05:04):
I think so. And the lettering, how precise, how free flowing,
How his name seems to shine forth. Gerald Arthur Lyons
born April twentieth, nineteen seventeen died June fourth, nineteen sixty nine. Yes,
And look where, just a few feet over this way
(05:25):
an almost identical stone, which eats even better. Obviously the
work of the same sculptor. See the same delicate lines,
the same beautiful lettering, that name, and the feeling of
great dignity the name on the tombstone. Yes, it reads
Harold k. Starbright. That's my name. That's me you why,
(05:53):
that's that's my name, Harold Kenneth Starbright. That's who I am.
Obviously it's a coincidence. Harold Kenneth Starwright born July first,
nineteen thirty seven. That's my birthday, well died, Look look
(06:15):
at that date. Look died March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eighth
March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight. How is that possible? I
don't understand. March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight hasn't happened yet.
(06:36):
Is that what's going to happen to me? I'm sure
there must be some mistake. My name, my exact date
of birth, and the day of my death, March fifteenth,
nineteen seventy eight. Is that the day I'm going to die?
I'm sure there must be some explanation. Sir, Are you
(07:01):
all right? That's my tombstone? I told her, Mister Starbright,
Mister Starborough, is somebody call a cop, get an ambulance her?
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Yes, it's me, Gretchen. The doctor's here at the hospital.
Think it's why for you to stay overnight? Yes, you
fainted in Memorial Park? What was the matter?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I fainted because I was terribly frightened?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
What are you saying?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I was walking along in Memorial Park on.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Such a lovely day?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
What could frighten you?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
A tombstone?
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Who's tombstone?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Mine? What? I saw? My own tombstone?
Speaker 4 (07:52):
But how do you know it was your tombstone?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It had my name on it, Harold Kenneth Starbright.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Oh there could be more than one, Harold Kenneth have.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
The date of my birth and the date of my death.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
How could it have the date of your death? You're
still alive.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's the date. Harold Kenneth Starbright died March fifteenth, nineteen
seventy eight.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Harold, you need rest.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I get some sleep, Get some sleep. In a year,
i'll be dead, Darling.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Why don't I ring for the nurse.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Ring and tell her I'm leaving.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I'm taking you to that cemetery and I'm going to
show you that tombstone.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Harold, you're not well.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I'm perfectly all right. It's just that I'm scared to death.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
You'll feel better tomorrow morning.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
You don't believe me, do you? You don't believe I
saw my own tombstone?
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Well, why don't we wait for Fred.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Fred Stoneman's are quack here? I'm getting dressed, and I'm
taking you to that cemetery. Darling.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
There is something wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
That's why you have to see that tombstone. That'll convince
you that there's nothing wrong with me.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
All right, all right, but let's wait till Fred's Stoneman
has a last look at you.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I don't want to see him, Harold.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
What happened between you and Fred? Why this sudden hostility?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I never liked him?
Speaker 4 (09:13):
You you never liked but you went to college together,
you were boys together. He's your best friend.
Speaker 6 (09:19):
I like him, Harold.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
Now I know something's wrong. What happened to turn you
against Fred?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Any man? Why are you so worried about Fred all
of a sudden?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
And why don't you answer my question?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I have more important things to do right now. The
most important thing you have to do right now is
rel Fred.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Harold. What's this? The resident's been telling me? You got
upset over some tombstone? Why? Why? Because it's mine? On
the you order one night? Some folks do get know?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
He's not well?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Fred?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
What's bothering you? Harold? What's firing me? After what I
saw today? You can ask me that question. Now. Look,
I want to get dressed, and I want the two
of you to come with me.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Fred, would that be why?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Harold? I'm going back to that cemetery and you can
come with me or not as you like. Now you
say you saw this tombstone, your tombstone. That's true, all right, Harold?
Why what do you mean, why, Well, what is it
doing there? Well, how do I know who put it there?
What are you asking me these questions for? Because I
(10:22):
want to know why you should believe you're going to
be dead within the year. All I'm telling you is
what I saw. Now you are in the best of help.
Now why should you be dead in a year? What
premonitions do you have of your dead? Look? All I
know is what I saw engraved on that tombstone. Well,
somehow you're convinced you'll be dead within the year, and
(10:43):
that's why you saw it. I saw it because I
happen to be walking by and there it wan No, Harold,
it's not there. It's here in your mind. First I
get it from Gretchen, and now I get it from you.
Everybody's trying to take some psychological do out of this.
There is no such grieves but I saw it, But
(11:04):
it doesn't exist in reality. Reality is waiting for you
on a plot of ground in Morrison City Memorial Park.
Now let's settle this once and for all. This is
the path we were walking along. This man and I.
(11:24):
He stopped to ask me for a match, and we
began to check.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Just just a minute Harold, he stopped you to ask
for a match? Did you give it to him?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
What kind of question is that? Of course I gave
it to him.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
How could you?
Speaker 4 (11:36):
You don't carry matches, you haven't for the last ten years,
and you stop smoking.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I'm telling you what happened in your dream. It wasn't
a dream, it was real. Of course, don't humor me, Fred.
We walked and we talked about the kind of sculpture
you can see in the cemetery.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Why should anyone discuss it's.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
A gruesome subject, obviously, Harold, is a more had moved
these days? Oh? What's morbid? Why is it gruesome? Looking
all the time You've going to spend under that stone?
Shouldn't it be a work of eye? Very well? Do
I know you encountered this, gentleman, and you discussed this
particular subject? Then?
Speaker 3 (12:13):
What?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Well? We were right here, he called this particular stone
to my attention. You see it reads Gerald Arthur Lyons
born April twentieth, nineteen seventeen died June fourth, nineteen sixty nine.
I remember, well, just a few feet over this way,
(12:36):
an identical stone, just as beautifully carved right here, just
a few steps to the left. Well wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
now I think it was to the right, Harold, just
a second night. Wait, let me get my bearings. It
(12:59):
was the identical. Well, I don't see any stone around
here that looked just like this one. Well it was here, Harold.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Don't you think that yours was here.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
With with my name on it? It was here, I
tell you, sure it was, Harold, Sure it was. I'm
sure it was. Or was it? Well?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Remember this, he has a witness, the gentleman who pointed
it out to him originally. Then he has all of
us who were present.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
At the scene.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
We know who we are, But who was the gentleman.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
The gentleman I fear I must withhold his identity until
heck two, which I shall bring to you in just
a few moments. The reports of.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
My death have been greatly exaggerated, said Mark Twain when
he opened a newspaper one morning and read his obituary. Well,
what is Harold Kenneth starbut supposed to say? He has
seen not an item in the press, which after all,
is only printed paper, but his own tombstone, which has
been engraved in granite. That is, he is convinced he
(14:22):
saw it on a return trip to the cemetery. He
is having a bit of trouble locating that tombstone.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
But it was here, It was right here. I was
standing here, and it will.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Hell, you've got to go back to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Well, I tell you now, Harold, the thing to do
is not to get excited. Just try to gather your wits.
I'm not crazy, darling.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Nobody said you were.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Harold. Will take you back and then you can rest
and relax. Everybody talks to me is, oh I were crazy.
I know what I saw. I know it, all right.
Just a minute. Well, oh, Harold, Fred Gretchen isn't how
(15:16):
may I come in? Well, so I check out on you? Okay, thanks?
You want to Drake, why did you say that you
saw me and you said Gretchen isn't home. It was
practically a reflex action. Well maybe I did say it.
Why obviously I've come here to see you, all right,
(15:39):
all right, all right, skip it. Well if you don't
want to talk about it, we don't have to with them.
Come on, now, what is bothering you, Harold? And what
was all that about the tombstone? All I did I
walked along that cemetery and yes, yes, I heard that story,
but it didn't happen. Go ahead and say I had
(16:01):
an hallucination. Now let me tell you what I did.
I did what you should have done, the sensible, the
practical thing. Now, after all, people just don't get buried
in cemeteries. They just don't erect tombstones where and when
they please. You have to buy space. Now, it's real estate,
just like anything else. Now you get a deed, a
title or whatever. Now, Fred, don't make fun of me.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I'm in no mood.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I am serious.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Now.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I went to the office of the cemetery. I asked
the manager, has a plot been bought here for a
mister Harold K. Starbright? And he said no. And I asked,
has a monument been erected here in the memory of
a mister Harold K. Starbright? And he said, how if
mister Starbright doesn't have a grave here? And I said,
could a monument have been erected without their knowing it?
And he said impossible. Show me the monument. Well I couldn't.
(16:49):
So shouldn't that be the end of it? I only
know I'm not crazy then, and maybe it all goes
back to my original question, what question for crying? Out louder.
I ask you why you opened the door and said
to me, Gretchen isn't home. I don't know why I
(17:10):
said that. Ah, yes, you do. It means that you
think I came here to see Gretchen. All right, maybe
that is what I think. Okay, now it's south in
the open. You having an affair with my wife friend? No,
are you in love with her? Harold? I am a
married man that doesn't answer the question are you in
(17:32):
love with her? Look? You are my best friend. You
still haven't answered the question. I know well. The fact
that you can ask such a question means you can
only expect one answer. Yes. Then is that your answer? Maybe?
What does that mean? I don't know what it means. No. Look,
(17:55):
I'm trying to be honest with you and with myself.
It's the first time I've ever been in front of
with that question. You know, we both of us have
known Gretchen since we were kids. Have I been in
love with her? Too? Well? Have you? Something has come
over you? I don't know what, but suddenly you see
relationships more clearly than ever, actually, with a kind of
(18:17):
a frightening clarity. And then then this tombstone thing I know,
it's very scary. I saw that tombstone. It was real.
I don't care what anyone says. If it was real
to you, then that's real enough. But why did you
see it? I wish I could tell you. Maybe I
(18:38):
can tell you things that the officer are not too good,
are they They're very bad? Are you worried? It's his
new vice president Joan. He's the administration type. He simply
cannot appreciate the problems of the sales force. And we
(19:01):
had a very intense session before I left for lunch
that day. Well, could you actually lose your job? Yes,
I know how you feel about your work in the company,
and if you were fired, it would be as if
the world came to an end and had we had
a dead pigeon. You just said it yourself, not kidding
(19:22):
a little, but you just use the word dead. And
with that in mind, you were walking in the cemetery
and there was your tombstone. You're probably right. You have
a tense situation with mister Vice President Jones, and it's well,
it's as if your life has come to an end.
(19:43):
You know something, friend, that's just how he makes me feel.
And every time he does, if you walk in the park,
you'll see your tombstone.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Breakfast is ready, darling, Oh, I'm not hungry now. Fred
says you have to have a sensible diet.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
You and I and Fred were kids together. That's right.
You sorry you didn't marry Fred? Oh?
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Fred never asked me.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Well, that's a reply that raises more questions than it answers.
Would you have married Fred?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I married you.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Because he never asked you. I suppose he had asked you,
but he didn't. Not with your answer, Ben, how do.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I know what my answer would have been? How do
I know what I might have been feeling, or thinking
or dreaming about it that exact moment.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Is it too much to expect a simple answer?
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Are you suspecting Fred and me of having an affair?
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I never said that, And what is the purpose of
this inquisition? I only asked you a very simple question.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
No, you asked a very complicated question, a loaded question,
a question no man should ever ask of his wife,
and no wife should ever.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Ask of her husband.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Why not when you asked if I were sorry I
didn't marry Fred, what you really meant was, well, I'm
sorry I married you.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (21:08):
But there are times I'm sorry, just as there are
times when you're sorry.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
You married me.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Well, isn't it that way with many married people, with
all honest married people. Now, why don't you have your
breakfast and go to your office?
Speaker 7 (21:30):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yes, oh, yes, yes, sure I did, Yes, I haven't
come in now. You wanted to see me, mister Johns. Yes, yeah,
sure I did have a share in chair now actually,
grit no, no, no, thank you? No, yeah, it's just right.
You don't smoke. How'd you go?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I have good days, not have bad days. It's only all.
How was Grencham's fine? I heard you were a bit
under the wind a few days ago. Who was nothing serious?
I certainly hope. So you will have to fire five men?
I what unless you rather hated it? Fire five men.
(22:13):
I can't cover the territory. Now you know the rule.
We pay five percent for sales, and our sales volume
is down. So we're just well, I'll tell you why
our sales volume is down. We took the quality out
of the products. What we did was to invest a
certain amount of manufacturing money and promotion. What we did
was try to fool the public, and unfortunately we failed.
(22:36):
And who pays for us. Not the big wheels whose
stupidity is responsible, but five little guys. All the world
was ever to us. Don't you understand you're going to
need these guys. We'll have to make more calls on
dealers just to put out more fire. Just give me
five names. How can I run my department? I'm shorthanded now.
I was told to effatuate a savings of seventy five
thousand dollars. But you can't do it. You can't destroy
(22:59):
the sales department. This company will go out of business. Harold,
you are becoming a fanatics whatever you want to call me.
I build up the best sales force in the industry. Unfortunately,
our volume doesn't support that statement. If every other department
put out the way we do, all right, you've made
your statement for that has usually become bores and that's
(23:19):
that's that's where we are.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Now.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Can you give me the list the names? Please? You
want to fire five men, I'll give you one name
and that's all you can start with. Harold Kenneth Starbright. Well,
thank you, Harold.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
I was hoping you do that, Sir, I am I
thank your pardon?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
What are you? Are you all right?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
All right.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
I was walking along the park, he was my little boy,
and I noticed you standing here, standing very steel and
just staring, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Just staring.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Is that is that what I was doing? Yes?
Speaker 6 (24:19):
And I couldn't imagine, But sir, you do look very pale.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I'm alright, Are you sure? Yes, you're very kind.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Well, if you're sure, you're all right?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Just a minute, ma'm I wonder if you could do
something for me. If I can this tombstone right over here, yes,
would you read what's written on us?
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Would I read? All right? It reads Harold.
Speaker 6 (24:56):
Kay Starbright born July first, nineteen thirty seven. Yes, and
died March fifteenth, nineteen.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Seventy eight.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
You're positive that's what it says.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yes, sure, that's what it's.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
It doesn't something strike you as a bit strange?
Speaker 3 (25:27):
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That date March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Oh what about it?
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It hasn't happened yet. It won't be March fifteenth, nineteen
seventy eight for more than the years.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
Please excuse me, junior, come along now now, hurry and
don't stop to do that's.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
A that's what Fred told me. What happened and he's right,
good time. I have a tense situation with Jones. I'll
see my tombstone, and that's what it is. That's all
it is. I'm not going to panic. I'm just not
(26:18):
going to panic.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Whether he does or not is something you will find
out a little bit later.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Now a loose end. Remember the gentleman.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Harold encountered at the beginning of our story, the one
who called his attention to the tombstone in the first place.
At the end of Act one, I said I would
tell you more about him in Act two.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Well, I just didn't get the chance, that's all.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
But we will definitely hear from him again in Act three,
which I shall bring you in just a few moments.
Speaker 8 (26:50):
You've never had a really excotic car, have you, because
you've always felt that you needed something a little more
down to earth.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
But you still want that excited car, don't you. You
know what you need?
Speaker 8 (27:00):
A Buick Skyhawk. It's small, it's V six powered. He
has even got a hatchback. Now that's down to earth,
but with things like bucket seats available, five speed, manual transmission,
and that laid back, low down style. And it's not
exactly plain vanilla. The Buick Skyhawk, the car you need
and the car you want.
Speaker 9 (27:24):
Getting worse today, Bensonville, Kentucky died, wiped out by a
devastating plague that breaks down immunity to any disease.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
It's happening to me tomorrow.
Speaker 9 (27:34):
It would be bridged in Minnesota, then Sanzelino, California.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
And only the Deadly Messiah knows why.
Speaker 9 (27:39):
Le The Deadly Messiah from Avon Paperbacks, the one novel
you will read this year as though your life depended
on it.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
And maybe, just maybe it does.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Hey, Sargeant, where are you walking?
Speaker 8 (28:00):
I can't understand the word you're talking, his sergeant, when.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
This really helped me?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
All this, oh my gosh, sol, this infantry, all this.
Speaker 9 (28:09):
Run is inclamist and so sure.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
All this singing in town and began poolball. I'm not
sure I get any pot. It's get to me all
this whol my gosh, sol, this infotry. I'm scream like
I'm with the means to me is Sargeant. I think
I'm bout to make in this Oh my goshot bigger
(28:36):
like me. He can about my goshvice n join the feedball.
Speaker 7 (28:43):
The infantry, money Now I'm everything else in the army
is for him. For information about opportunities and infantry, contact
your local Army representative. He's listed in the Yellow Pages
under recruiting.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Seeing, they say, is believing, But what is seeing? No
two pair of eyes ever see the exact same image.
In the first place, we see what we want to see,
and in the second we can only see what we
can physically register on our own more or less imperfect eyesight.
(29:26):
The situation, as you can appreciate, is us fraught with possibilities.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
How bad was it with Jones? It was the maximum,
the ultimate. I'm out. I'm sorry. I had believe the
place was destroying me, made me doubt my wife, my
best friend, made me believe my life was finished. It's
not Harold, of course not. I can't find a better
(29:53):
job tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
That's the way to talk.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Now. I'm sure if you go back to the cemetery
now you will see the tombst either. Well I might.
I'm getting better, but I'm not really recovered from the
shock of it yet. Well, the inhuman pressure is off
you now. All you have to do is just live
sensibly and don't let your next job become all consuming.
(30:18):
Oh no, no, no, I won't. I learned my lesson.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
He's the music bothering you did well?
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Oh no, no, no, no, well why do you ask? Shall?
Speaker 4 (30:33):
You seem to have such a pained expression on your face?
Is something wrong?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I was thinking, Gretchen, I might have been a bit
tasty in leaving the job. I've been idle the past
three months.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
It takes time.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I shouldn't take this much time. Damn that Jones. He
ruined me, now, Harold. He made me quit, He got
me mad, and he made.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
Me You're not supposed to get excited.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I let Jones ease me out of the best company
in the industry.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
You'll do just as well elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
There isn't any elsewhere. And it's it's it's it's Fred's fault.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
If you lost your temper with Jones and quit, why
is that Fred's fault?
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Because Fred steamed me.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Up, steamed you up.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Fred was trying to calm you down.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Amount to the same thing. Doctors take it easy, oh, Harold,
just to understand the nature of competitive business. He can
sit back and wisely shake his head. Relax. Does he
know the jungle many of us live in? Harold, you're
exciting yourself and it does, Fred, relax, he works day
and night himself. You have to make the very last part,
no starling.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Please here here, swallow this and you'll feel better.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Here, come on, I wouldn't mind if I were killed
by a tiger, but to get it from Jones, he's
nothing but a hyaena.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
Don't work against this pill.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Just relack. I take you.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
You'll feel much better.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I've got to get another job soon.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
Oh, it isn't as if we were starving.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
We gotta be doing something, of course. You know, I
feel sleepy. Is that what the pill's supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Oh, it's just supposed to ease attention.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
It's doing a great job.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
Would you like to take a little nap in.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
The middle of the day. I never did that in
my life.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
Oh, it's a wonderful idea.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Well you do.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Oh, I'll go to a movie. I'll be back in
time for dinner.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Sure you don't mind.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
Christ it's silly.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
You Just get some rest.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Hey, thank God, step out here, old held child. M
m h m m.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
I see you in ten minutes.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Nice. Huh, all right, I'll call you. Oh oh the
mail man, Yes, sir, the morning mister star right is
terry off? Today, Terry. What do you mean, Terry, Well, Terry,
(33:43):
Terry Brazinski. He's a regular man. You're a great kidder.
Mister star right, what are you talking about? Who are you?
You know? I am. I'm Joe Cronin. I'm the regular
marr on this road. I've never seen you before in
my life. Mister Starbright. You okay? You you say your
(34:06):
name is Joe Cronin. You sure you're okay? Look, I'm
come inside from it. Well, I gotta do my right
now just for a minute, please sit down. Now, how
long have you been the regular man? Well, it's gonna
(34:26):
be you six months now. You've been the regular man
for six months? You say, sure, I've been bringing the
mail every day, spent exactly six months today. I guess
I'm dreaming. You look so good, mister Starbright. Why are
(34:47):
you wearing that heavy overcoat? Well, because I don't want
to freeze to death? Well, how do you freeze to that?
In the middle of August August? Hey, mister Starbright, what
are you talking about? It's February fifth. There's four feet
of snow on the ground. That's impossible, impossible. Take a
(35:09):
look out the window. It's winter, winter what made you
talk about Terry all of a sudden. He's been dead
for six months. Terry died six months ago, but he
(35:30):
delivered my mail only yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sometimes you
get up from a nap, you kinda forget where you are. Look,
I gotta be moving now. I'm late. Oh I got
this letter for you from callers. I'm not expecting anything
from collars with your names on it. It's impossible from colors.
(35:57):
Well maybe you did and you forgot. Now wait another
few seconds, please, And I was just it, says dear
mister Starbright. The revolver you ordered is ready, but I
never There's gotta be some mistake. But the letter is
addressed to you, mister Harold Kay star right eighteen Oriel Drive,
(36:20):
he asked. But well it's a mistake. Yeah, well I
got to be getting on there. Whether the date the
date on the letter February fourth, Yeah, that's yesterday. Yeah,
but today is August fifth. I must have wakened you
out of a real sound snooze. Yeah. I'm that way
(36:42):
myself sometimes. But today is August fifth, August with snow
on the ground. I don't care what anyone says. It's
August nineteen seventy six. Yeah, well, don't bet any money,
you'd lose. It's February nineteen seventy seven. And then then
I must be dreaming. I like I've been telling you.
(37:04):
Oh see you're run No wait wait, wait, don't go yet.
I'm forty five when it's fine sketch. Yeah, but look,
I'm sure you'll be feeling better tomorrow. Come back, come back,
come back. Really February you can't be.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Of course.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
It isn't green trees, lush grass, the middle of summer.
It was a dreamer dream. No, no, it wasn't a dream.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
I know.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
It wasn't a dream. Was it like the tombstone Glimpse
the future?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Why did I order a gun?
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Why did I have breakfast?
Speaker 1 (38:16):
I'm not hungry, Gretchen? What day is this?
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Thursday?
Speaker 1 (38:21):
No, I'm in the date August sixth You sure that.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Looks like the mailman coming up the walk? He can
ask him.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Yesterday afternoon. I had dreamed it was next February and
we had a new mailman. Oh, Terry Brazinski had died.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
It's a nonsense. Terry Brazinski is going to live forever.
I'll get it.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Oh, good morning, missus star Bright. Yes, I'm a new mailman.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Did something happened to Terry?
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah? He was killed in an accident last night.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
What?
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (39:03):
What can be sorry to hear that killed me?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
I'm the new guy. Your my name is? Her name
is Joe cronin O. Hey, how did you know? I
saw you yesterday? Me? I wasn't here yesterday.
Speaker 4 (39:18):
Oh this is mister Stowbray.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Yeah, please Dmitri. We've already met. We had a long talk,
we did, Eddie. I ought to say, we're going to
have a long talk one day six months from now.
Oh yeah, well sure, I hope. So I'll see you
folks tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Why did you talk that way?
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Jenny? No, Jenny mail for you?
Speaker 4 (39:50):
Oh just a postcard from fred m they're in Paris.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Why does he write it to you and not to us.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
As he knows how bored you are with wish you
were here postcards? Why did you talk so so spooky
to that poor old mailman?
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Because because because you wouldn't believe it.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
Sh don't make a sound, honey, not a sound?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
But you sure you should be doing this? After all?
Hed here? What is hell?
Speaker 3 (40:34):
No? Hear us?
Speaker 4 (40:36):
Good old hell? It's fastest sleep those pills. Gids should
do the trick. How much longer is old Hell gonna last?
For honey?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Well, not too much longer.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
We suppose they do an autopsy, won't.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
They find you know, darling? I am his doctor. I'll
sign the de certificate. Who's gonna find anything? Oh? You think?
Come on?
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Give Christians a little kiss?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Well first, give Freddy a little drink.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
I don't know what we have in the house.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
I don't let me give each of you a little shot?
How old please?
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Old guy didn't mean she made me do.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Morning officer, morning, sir, great day. Oh yes, I see
there's new tombstone. He's there. Hi John cow excellently crafted
stone work about Harold K. Starbright born in July the first,
nineteen thirty seven. Died March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight. Oh yes, yes, yes,
(41:53):
he's a guy that was involved in those murders. Murders. Yes,
it was in the papers. He's been in the dumps
ever since he lost his job. He must be over
a year. So one day he goes out and kills
his ex boss, and then he comes home and shoots
his wife and her boyfriend. It's a tragic oh yes, yes, yes,
(42:17):
never did stand trial though he was dying in some
kind of yeah, with disease. Nobody could figure out just what,
but it cut him. Mm it's just as well. I
suppose you're right about the stone. I never did notice
notice this kind of thing before. But it's beauty, yes,
but the one just over here to the left of it,
(42:39):
that's even prettier. Okay, Well, yes that's right. Yeah, isn't
it magnificent? Sure? Is it? Says Philip Richard Marty born
November pretty third, nineteen forty. That. Hey, that's my name,
there's my birthday. Well, it's probably a coincidence, guid August thirty,
(43:06):
nineteen eighty. Tell her that me August thirty, nineteen eighty,
as all those two years from now. Yes, that's my toomstalk, officer, officer,
Are you all right? How's my toombs talk?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I told you we'd hear from that gentleman again, and
perhaps i'd been able to perform a most vital service
for all of you, should you ever find yourself in
a cemetery for any reason other than the ultimate, and
a gentleman offers to show you some excellent examples of
sculpture avoid him at all costs. Radio Mystery Theater was
(43:56):
sponsored in part by Buick Motor Division.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
This is E. G. Marshall inviting you to return to
our Mystery Theater for another adventure in the macabre. Until
next time, pleasant gre
Come in welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I'm a g Marshall. The past is like a funeral
gone by. The future comes like an unwelcome guest. The
future the impenetrable, imponderable future. As the song says, who
knows what tomorrow will bring?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well? Would you like to know?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
The rest of your life is a book that has
not yet been printed? However, would you like an advanced copy?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
A sort of pre publication preview?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
The purpose of the next hour is to make you
think about it.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Are you sorry you married me?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
What kind of a question is there?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Answer it? Gretchen?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
It depends on how I feel at any given time.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
How do you feel most of the time?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Most of the time I say I was sorry?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Why don't you do something about it? Now that you
mention it, I've been planning to You want to talk
about divorce?
Speaker 4 (01:23):
No, I've got a better way, a quicker way, right
here in my purse. Gretchen, you should know how divorce.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Is a sin.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Our mystery drama Tomorrow's Murder was written especially for the
mystery theater by Sam Dan and stars Robert Dryden. It
is sponsored in part by sign Off the Sinus Medicines
and Buick Motor Division. I'll be back shortly with Act
one open space. How the suffocated cities cry for green fields,
(02:17):
tall trees, and how few are the lush and verdant places. Well,
you do have Morrison City Memorial Park, which quite frankly
is a cemetery. When it was laid out years ago,
it was on the outskirts of town. But Morrison City
grew up to around.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
And passed Memorial Park, and it is.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Now surrounded by offices, shops, homes.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Apartment houses. People go for.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Walks along its broad pathways. They rest on its benches,
and why not shouldn't it please the dead to play
host to the living.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Herald k Starbright usually has a relaxed and leisurely.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Strolled through Memorial Park right after lunch, and as he
walks along, a rather well dressed gentleman speaks to you.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I beg your pardon, sir. May I trouble you for
a lunch?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I don't think I have one because I stopped smoking.
I oh, oh, yes, yes here Keith, the pell Are
you very kind? I thought, really kind? I would have
refused you. What you're doing after all? The Terrapyes? I know,
I know, I'm afraid I don't have enough character to
break the habit. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
After all, I am a perfect stranger. Well that's true,
(03:34):
but you see, only strangers can be perfect. Our friends
we know all too well. You come here often? Yes, Yes,
my office is right across the street. Delightful place for
a bit of fresh air. Is one of my favorite
haunts too. Or is that a proper word. I hope
we've ever seen you before. Well, I have a hobby,
(03:56):
so I suppose you would call it a hobby. Exactly
what is it? Cemetry sculpture? Oh, it's hardly the type
of thing you want to collect, or could for that matter,
sanitary sculpture. Yes, and if you think about it, it's
the most prevalent form of sculpture there is. Yes, I
suppose so. And it's an art form not to be despised.
(04:20):
For example, that statue, it's a beautiful little thing, how graceful. Yeah,
now that you mentioned it, I've never really noticed it.
And on that monument, notice the relief, how clean and crisp.
You know, you've opened my eyes to an entirely new thing. Well,
(04:40):
not all of it, of course, is noteworthy, But here
and there you encounter a gym. Here's what I'm doing
about this tombstone. How exquisitely proportioned, a simple shaft of stone,
but what perfect balance of the delicate scroll work along
the sides and the top almost philip reed lace, you know, yes,
(05:04):
I think so. And the lettering, how precise, how free flowing,
How his name seems to shine forth. Gerald Arthur Lyons
born April twentieth, nineteen seventeen died June fourth, nineteen sixty nine. Yes,
And look where, just a few feet over this way
(05:25):
an almost identical stone, which eats even better. Obviously the
work of the same sculptor. See the same delicate lines,
the same beautiful lettering, that name, and the feeling of
great dignity the name on the tombstone. Yes, it reads
Harold k. Starbright. That's my name. That's me you why,
(05:53):
that's that's my name, Harold Kenneth Starbright. That's who I am.
Obviously it's a coincidence. Harold Kenneth Starwright born July first,
nineteen thirty seven. That's my birthday, well died, Look look
(06:15):
at that date. Look died March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eighth
March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight. How is that possible? I
don't understand. March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight hasn't happened yet.
(06:36):
Is that what's going to happen to me? I'm sure
there must be some mistake. My name, my exact date
of birth, and the day of my death, March fifteenth,
nineteen seventy eight. Is that the day I'm going to die?
I'm sure there must be some explanation. Sir, Are you
(07:01):
all right? That's my tombstone? I told her, Mister Starbright,
Mister Starborough, is somebody call a cop, get an ambulance her?
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Yes, it's me, Gretchen. The doctor's here at the hospital.
Think it's why for you to stay overnight? Yes, you
fainted in Memorial Park? What was the matter?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I fainted because I was terribly frightened?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
What are you saying?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I was walking along in Memorial Park on.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Such a lovely day?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
What could frighten you?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
A tombstone?
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Who's tombstone?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Mine? What? I saw? My own tombstone?
Speaker 4 (07:52):
But how do you know it was your tombstone?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It had my name on it, Harold Kenneth Starbright.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Oh there could be more than one, Harold Kenneth have.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
The date of my birth and the date of my death.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
How could it have the date of your death? You're
still alive.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's the date. Harold Kenneth Starbright died March fifteenth, nineteen
seventy eight.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Harold, you need rest.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I get some sleep, Get some sleep. In a year,
i'll be dead, Darling.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Why don't I ring for the nurse.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Ring and tell her I'm leaving.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I'm taking you to that cemetery and I'm going to
show you that tombstone.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Harold, you're not well.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I'm perfectly all right. It's just that I'm scared to death.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
You'll feel better tomorrow morning.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
You don't believe me, do you? You don't believe I
saw my own tombstone?
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Well, why don't we wait for Fred.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Fred Stoneman's are quack here? I'm getting dressed, and I'm
taking you to that cemetery. Darling.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
There is something wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
That's why you have to see that tombstone. That'll convince
you that there's nothing wrong with me.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
All right, all right, but let's wait till Fred's Stoneman
has a last look at you.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I don't want to see him, Harold.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
What happened between you and Fred? Why this sudden hostility?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I never liked him?
Speaker 4 (09:13):
You you never liked but you went to college together,
you were boys together. He's your best friend.
Speaker 6 (09:19):
I like him, Harold.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
Now I know something's wrong. What happened to turn you
against Fred?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Any man? Why are you so worried about Fred all
of a sudden?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
And why don't you answer my question?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I have more important things to do right now. The
most important thing you have to do right now is
rel Fred.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Harold. What's this? The resident's been telling me? You got
upset over some tombstone? Why? Why? Because it's mine? On
the you order one night? Some folks do get know?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
He's not well?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Fred?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
What's bothering you? Harold? What's firing me? After what I
saw today? You can ask me that question. Now. Look,
I want to get dressed, and I want the two
of you to come with me.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Fred, would that be why?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Harold? I'm going back to that cemetery and you can
come with me or not as you like. Now you
say you saw this tombstone, your tombstone. That's true, all right, Harold?
Why what do you mean, why, Well, what is it
doing there? Well, how do I know who put it there?
What are you asking me these questions for? Because I
(10:22):
want to know why you should believe you're going to
be dead within the year. All I'm telling you is
what I saw. Now you are in the best of help.
Now why should you be dead in a year? What
premonitions do you have of your dead? Look? All I
know is what I saw engraved on that tombstone. Well,
somehow you're convinced you'll be dead within the year, and
(10:43):
that's why you saw it. I saw it because I
happen to be walking by and there it wan No, Harold,
it's not there. It's here in your mind. First I
get it from Gretchen, and now I get it from you.
Everybody's trying to take some psychological do out of this.
There is no such grieves but I saw it, But
(11:04):
it doesn't exist in reality. Reality is waiting for you
on a plot of ground in Morrison City Memorial Park.
Now let's settle this once and for all. This is
the path we were walking along. This man and I.
(11:24):
He stopped to ask me for a match, and we
began to check.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Just just a minute Harold, he stopped you to ask
for a match? Did you give it to him?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
What kind of question is that? Of course I gave
it to him.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
How could you?
Speaker 4 (11:36):
You don't carry matches, you haven't for the last ten years,
and you stop smoking.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I'm telling you what happened in your dream. It wasn't
a dream, it was real. Of course, don't humor me, Fred.
We walked and we talked about the kind of sculpture
you can see in the cemetery.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Why should anyone discuss it's.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
A gruesome subject, obviously, Harold, is a more had moved
these days? Oh? What's morbid? Why is it gruesome? Looking
all the time You've going to spend under that stone?
Shouldn't it be a work of eye? Very well? Do
I know you encountered this, gentleman, and you discussed this
particular subject? Then?
Speaker 3 (12:13):
What?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Well? We were right here, he called this particular stone
to my attention. You see it reads Gerald Arthur Lyons
born April twentieth, nineteen seventeen died June fourth, nineteen sixty nine.
I remember, well, just a few feet over this way,
(12:36):
an identical stone, just as beautifully carved right here, just
a few steps to the left. Well wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
now I think it was to the right, Harold, just
a second night. Wait, let me get my bearings. It
(12:59):
was the identical. Well, I don't see any stone around
here that looked just like this one. Well it was here, Harold.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Don't you think that yours was here.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
With with my name on it? It was here, I
tell you, sure it was, Harold, Sure it was. I'm
sure it was. Or was it? Well?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Remember this, he has a witness, the gentleman who pointed
it out to him originally. Then he has all of
us who were present.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
At the scene.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
We know who we are, But who was the gentleman.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
The gentleman I fear I must withhold his identity until
heck two, which I shall bring to you in just
a few moments. The reports of.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
My death have been greatly exaggerated, said Mark Twain when
he opened a newspaper one morning and read his obituary. Well,
what is Harold Kenneth starbut supposed to say? He has
seen not an item in the press, which after all,
is only printed paper, but his own tombstone, which has
been engraved in granite. That is, he is convinced he
(14:22):
saw it on a return trip to the cemetery. He
is having a bit of trouble locating that tombstone.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
But it was here, It was right here. I was
standing here, and it will.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Hell, you've got to go back to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Well, I tell you now, Harold, the thing to do
is not to get excited. Just try to gather your wits.
I'm not crazy, darling.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Nobody said you were.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Harold. Will take you back and then you can rest
and relax. Everybody talks to me is, oh I were crazy.
I know what I saw. I know it, all right.
Just a minute. Well, oh, Harold, Fred Gretchen isn't how
(15:16):
may I come in? Well, so I check out on you? Okay, thanks?
You want to Drake, why did you say that you
saw me and you said Gretchen isn't home. It was
practically a reflex action. Well maybe I did say it.
Why obviously I've come here to see you, all right,
(15:39):
all right, all right, skip it. Well if you don't
want to talk about it, we don't have to with them.
Come on, now, what is bothering you, Harold? And what
was all that about the tombstone? All I did I
walked along that cemetery and yes, yes, I heard that story,
but it didn't happen. Go ahead and say I had
(16:01):
an hallucination. Now let me tell you what I did.
I did what you should have done, the sensible, the
practical thing. Now, after all, people just don't get buried
in cemeteries. They just don't erect tombstones where and when
they please. You have to buy space. Now, it's real estate,
just like anything else. Now you get a deed, a
title or whatever. Now, Fred, don't make fun of me.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I'm in no mood.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I am serious.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Now.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I went to the office of the cemetery. I asked
the manager, has a plot been bought here for a
mister Harold K. Starbright? And he said no. And I asked,
has a monument been erected here in the memory of
a mister Harold K. Starbright? And he said, how if
mister Starbright doesn't have a grave here? And I said,
could a monument have been erected without their knowing it?
And he said impossible. Show me the monument. Well I couldn't.
(16:49):
So shouldn't that be the end of it? I only
know I'm not crazy then, and maybe it all goes
back to my original question, what question for crying? Out louder.
I ask you why you opened the door and said
to me, Gretchen isn't home. I don't know why I
(17:10):
said that. Ah, yes, you do. It means that you
think I came here to see Gretchen. All right, maybe
that is what I think. Okay, now it's south in
the open. You having an affair with my wife friend? No,
are you in love with her? Harold? I am a
married man that doesn't answer the question are you in
(17:32):
love with her? Look? You are my best friend. You
still haven't answered the question. I know well. The fact
that you can ask such a question means you can
only expect one answer. Yes. Then is that your answer? Maybe?
What does that mean? I don't know what it means. No. Look,
(17:55):
I'm trying to be honest with you and with myself.
It's the first time I've ever been in front of
with that question. You know, we both of us have
known Gretchen since we were kids. Have I been in
love with her? Too? Well? Have you? Something has come
over you? I don't know what, but suddenly you see
relationships more clearly than ever, actually, with a kind of
(18:17):
a frightening clarity. And then then this tombstone thing I know,
it's very scary. I saw that tombstone. It was real.
I don't care what anyone says. If it was real
to you, then that's real enough. But why did you
see it? I wish I could tell you. Maybe I
(18:38):
can tell you things that the officer are not too good,
are they They're very bad? Are you worried? It's his
new vice president Joan. He's the administration type. He simply
cannot appreciate the problems of the sales force. And we
(19:01):
had a very intense session before I left for lunch
that day. Well, could you actually lose your job? Yes,
I know how you feel about your work in the company,
and if you were fired, it would be as if
the world came to an end and had we had
a dead pigeon. You just said it yourself, not kidding
(19:22):
a little, but you just use the word dead. And
with that in mind, you were walking in the cemetery
and there was your tombstone. You're probably right. You have
a tense situation with mister Vice President Jones, and it's well,
it's as if your life has come to an end.
(19:43):
You know something, friend, that's just how he makes me feel.
And every time he does, if you walk in the park,
you'll see your tombstone.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Breakfast is ready, darling, Oh, I'm not hungry now. Fred
says you have to have a sensible diet.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
You and I and Fred were kids together. That's right.
You sorry you didn't marry Fred? Oh?
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Fred never asked me.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Well, that's a reply that raises more questions than it answers.
Would you have married Fred?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I married you.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Because he never asked you. I suppose he had asked you,
but he didn't. Not with your answer, Ben, how do.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I know what my answer would have been? How do
I know what I might have been feeling, or thinking
or dreaming about it that exact moment.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Is it too much to expect a simple answer?
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Are you suspecting Fred and me of having an affair?
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I never said that, And what is the purpose of
this inquisition? I only asked you a very simple question.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
No, you asked a very complicated question, a loaded question,
a question no man should ever ask of his wife,
and no wife should ever.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Ask of her husband.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Why not when you asked if I were sorry I
didn't marry Fred, what you really meant was, well, I'm
sorry I married you.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (21:08):
But there are times I'm sorry, just as there are
times when you're sorry.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
You married me.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Well, isn't it that way with many married people, with
all honest married people. Now, why don't you have your
breakfast and go to your office?
Speaker 7 (21:30):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yes, oh, yes, yes, sure I did, Yes, I haven't
come in now. You wanted to see me, mister Johns. Yes, yeah,
sure I did have a share in chair now actually,
grit no, no, no, thank you? No, yeah, it's just right.
You don't smoke. How'd you go?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I have good days, not have bad days. It's only all.
How was Grencham's fine? I heard you were a bit
under the wind a few days ago. Who was nothing serious?
I certainly hope. So you will have to fire five men?
I what unless you rather hated it? Fire five men.
(22:13):
I can't cover the territory. Now you know the rule.
We pay five percent for sales, and our sales volume
is down. So we're just well, I'll tell you why
our sales volume is down. We took the quality out
of the products. What we did was to invest a
certain amount of manufacturing money and promotion. What we did
was try to fool the public, and unfortunately we failed.
(22:36):
And who pays for us. Not the big wheels whose
stupidity is responsible, but five little guys. All the world
was ever to us. Don't you understand you're going to
need these guys. We'll have to make more calls on
dealers just to put out more fire. Just give me
five names. How can I run my department? I'm shorthanded now.
I was told to effatuate a savings of seventy five
thousand dollars. But you can't do it. You can't destroy
(22:59):
the sales department. This company will go out of business. Harold,
you are becoming a fanatics whatever you want to call me.
I build up the best sales force in the industry. Unfortunately,
our volume doesn't support that statement. If every other department
put out the way we do, all right, you've made
your statement for that has usually become bores and that's
(23:19):
that's that's where we are.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Now.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Can you give me the list the names? Please? You
want to fire five men, I'll give you one name
and that's all you can start with. Harold Kenneth Starbright. Well,
thank you, Harold.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
I was hoping you do that, Sir, I am I
thank your pardon?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
What are you? Are you all right?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
All right.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
I was walking along the park, he was my little boy,
and I noticed you standing here, standing very steel and
just staring, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Just staring.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Is that is that what I was doing? Yes?
Speaker 6 (24:19):
And I couldn't imagine, But sir, you do look very pale.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I'm alright, Are you sure? Yes, you're very kind.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Well, if you're sure, you're all right?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Just a minute, ma'm I wonder if you could do
something for me. If I can this tombstone right over here, yes,
would you read what's written on us?
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Would I read? All right? It reads Harold.
Speaker 6 (24:56):
Kay Starbright born July first, nineteen thirty seven. Yes, and
died March fifteenth, nineteen.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Seventy eight.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
You're positive that's what it says.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yes, sure, that's what it's.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
It doesn't something strike you as a bit strange?
Speaker 3 (25:27):
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That date March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Oh what about it?
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It hasn't happened yet. It won't be March fifteenth, nineteen
seventy eight for more than the years.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
Please excuse me, junior, come along now now, hurry and
don't stop to do that's.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
A that's what Fred told me. What happened and he's right,
good time. I have a tense situation with Jones. I'll
see my tombstone, and that's what it is. That's all
it is. I'm not going to panic. I'm just not
(26:18):
going to panic.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Whether he does or not is something you will find
out a little bit later.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Now a loose end. Remember the gentleman.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Harold encountered at the beginning of our story, the one
who called his attention to the tombstone in the first place.
At the end of Act one, I said I would
tell you more about him in Act two.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Well, I just didn't get the chance, that's all.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
But we will definitely hear from him again in Act three,
which I shall bring you in just a few moments.
Speaker 8 (26:50):
You've never had a really excotic car, have you, because
you've always felt that you needed something a little more
down to earth.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
But you still want that excited car, don't you. You
know what you need?
Speaker 8 (27:00):
A Buick Skyhawk. It's small, it's V six powered. He
has even got a hatchback. Now that's down to earth,
but with things like bucket seats available, five speed, manual transmission,
and that laid back, low down style. And it's not
exactly plain vanilla. The Buick Skyhawk, the car you need
and the car you want.
Speaker 9 (27:24):
Getting worse today, Bensonville, Kentucky died, wiped out by a
devastating plague that breaks down immunity to any disease.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
It's happening to me tomorrow.
Speaker 9 (27:34):
It would be bridged in Minnesota, then Sanzelino, California.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
And only the Deadly Messiah knows why.
Speaker 9 (27:39):
Le The Deadly Messiah from Avon Paperbacks, the one novel
you will read this year as though your life depended
on it.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
And maybe, just maybe it does.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Hey, Sargeant, where are you walking?
Speaker 8 (28:00):
I can't understand the word you're talking, his sergeant, when.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
This really helped me?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
All this, oh my gosh, sol, this infantry, all this.
Speaker 9 (28:09):
Run is inclamist and so sure.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
All this singing in town and began poolball. I'm not
sure I get any pot. It's get to me all
this whol my gosh, sol, this infotry. I'm scream like
I'm with the means to me is Sargeant. I think
I'm bout to make in this Oh my goshot bigger
(28:36):
like me. He can about my goshvice n join the feedball.
Speaker 7 (28:43):
The infantry, money Now I'm everything else in the army
is for him. For information about opportunities and infantry, contact
your local Army representative. He's listed in the Yellow Pages
under recruiting.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Seeing, they say, is believing, But what is seeing? No
two pair of eyes ever see the exact same image.
In the first place, we see what we want to see,
and in the second we can only see what we
can physically register on our own more or less imperfect eyesight.
(29:26):
The situation, as you can appreciate, is us fraught with possibilities.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
How bad was it with Jones? It was the maximum,
the ultimate. I'm out. I'm sorry. I had believe the
place was destroying me, made me doubt my wife, my
best friend, made me believe my life was finished. It's
not Harold, of course not. I can't find a better
(29:53):
job tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
That's the way to talk.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Now. I'm sure if you go back to the cemetery
now you will see the tombst either. Well I might.
I'm getting better, but I'm not really recovered from the
shock of it yet. Well, the inhuman pressure is off
you now. All you have to do is just live
sensibly and don't let your next job become all consuming.
(30:18):
Oh no, no, no, I won't. I learned my lesson.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
He's the music bothering you did well?
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Oh no, no, no, no, well why do you ask? Shall?
Speaker 4 (30:33):
You seem to have such a pained expression on your face?
Is something wrong?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I was thinking, Gretchen, I might have been a bit
tasty in leaving the job. I've been idle the past
three months.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
It takes time.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I shouldn't take this much time. Damn that Jones. He
ruined me, now, Harold. He made me quit, He got
me mad, and he made.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
Me You're not supposed to get excited.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I let Jones ease me out of the best company
in the industry.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
You'll do just as well elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
There isn't any elsewhere. And it's it's it's it's Fred's fault.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
If you lost your temper with Jones and quit, why
is that Fred's fault?
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Because Fred steamed me.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Up, steamed you up.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Fred was trying to calm you down.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Amount to the same thing. Doctors take it easy, oh, Harold,
just to understand the nature of competitive business. He can
sit back and wisely shake his head. Relax. Does he
know the jungle many of us live in? Harold, you're
exciting yourself and it does, Fred, relax, he works day
and night himself. You have to make the very last part,
no starling.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Please here here, swallow this and you'll feel better.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Here, come on, I wouldn't mind if I were killed
by a tiger, but to get it from Jones, he's
nothing but a hyaena.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
Don't work against this pill.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Just relack. I take you.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
You'll feel much better.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I've got to get another job soon.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
Oh, it isn't as if we were starving.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
We gotta be doing something, of course. You know, I
feel sleepy. Is that what the pill's supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Oh, it's just supposed to ease attention.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
It's doing a great job.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
Would you like to take a little nap in.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
The middle of the day. I never did that in
my life.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
Oh, it's a wonderful idea.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Well you do.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Oh, I'll go to a movie. I'll be back in
time for dinner.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Sure you don't mind.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
Christ it's silly.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
You Just get some rest.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Hey, thank God, step out here, old held child. M
m h m m.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
I see you in ten minutes.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Nice. Huh, all right, I'll call you. Oh oh the
mail man, Yes, sir, the morning mister star right is
terry off? Today, Terry. What do you mean, Terry, Well, Terry,
(33:43):
Terry Brazinski. He's a regular man. You're a great kidder.
Mister star right, what are you talking about? Who are you?
You know? I am. I'm Joe Cronin. I'm the regular
marr on this road. I've never seen you before in
my life. Mister Starbright. You okay? You you say your
(34:06):
name is Joe Cronin. You sure you're okay? Look, I'm
come inside from it. Well, I gotta do my right
now just for a minute, please sit down. Now, how
long have you been the regular man? Well, it's gonna
(34:26):
be you six months now. You've been the regular man
for six months? You say, sure, I've been bringing the
mail every day, spent exactly six months today. I guess
I'm dreaming. You look so good, mister Starbright. Why are
(34:47):
you wearing that heavy overcoat? Well, because I don't want
to freeze to death? Well, how do you freeze to that?
In the middle of August August? Hey, mister Starbright, what
are you talking about? It's February fifth. There's four feet
of snow on the ground. That's impossible, impossible. Take a
(35:09):
look out the window. It's winter, winter what made you
talk about Terry all of a sudden. He's been dead
for six months. Terry died six months ago, but he
(35:30):
delivered my mail only yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sometimes you
get up from a nap, you kinda forget where you are. Look,
I gotta be moving now. I'm late. Oh I got
this letter for you from callers. I'm not expecting anything
from collars with your names on it. It's impossible from colors.
(35:57):
Well maybe you did and you forgot. Now wait another
few seconds, please, And I was just it, says dear
mister Starbright. The revolver you ordered is ready, but I
never There's gotta be some mistake. But the letter is
addressed to you, mister Harold Kay star right eighteen Oriel Drive,
(36:20):
he asked. But well it's a mistake. Yeah, well I
got to be getting on there. Whether the date the
date on the letter February fourth, Yeah, that's yesterday. Yeah,
but today is August fifth. I must have wakened you
out of a real sound snooze. Yeah. I'm that way
(36:42):
myself sometimes. But today is August fifth, August with snow
on the ground. I don't care what anyone says. It's
August nineteen seventy six. Yeah, well, don't bet any money,
you'd lose. It's February nineteen seventy seven. And then then
I must be dreaming. I like I've been telling you.
(37:04):
Oh see you're run No wait wait, wait, don't go yet.
I'm forty five when it's fine sketch. Yeah, but look,
I'm sure you'll be feeling better tomorrow. Come back, come back,
come back. Really February you can't be.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Of course.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
It isn't green trees, lush grass, the middle of summer.
It was a dreamer dream. No, no, it wasn't a dream.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
I know.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
It wasn't a dream. Was it like the tombstone Glimpse
the future?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Why did I order a gun?
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Why did I have breakfast?
Speaker 1 (38:16):
I'm not hungry, Gretchen? What day is this?
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Thursday?
Speaker 1 (38:21):
No, I'm in the date August sixth You sure that.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Looks like the mailman coming up the walk? He can
ask him.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Yesterday afternoon. I had dreamed it was next February and
we had a new mailman. Oh, Terry Brazinski had died.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
It's a nonsense. Terry Brazinski is going to live forever.
I'll get it.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Oh, good morning, missus star Bright. Yes, I'm a new mailman.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Did something happened to Terry?
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah? He was killed in an accident last night.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
What?
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (39:03):
What can be sorry to hear that killed me?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
I'm the new guy. Your my name is? Her name
is Joe cronin O. Hey, how did you know? I
saw you yesterday? Me? I wasn't here yesterday.
Speaker 4 (39:18):
Oh this is mister Stowbray.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Yeah, please Dmitri. We've already met. We had a long talk,
we did, Eddie. I ought to say, we're going to
have a long talk one day six months from now.
Oh yeah, well sure, I hope. So I'll see you
folks tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Why did you talk that way?
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Jenny? No, Jenny mail for you?
Speaker 4 (39:50):
Oh just a postcard from fred m they're in Paris.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Why does he write it to you and not to us.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
As he knows how bored you are with wish you
were here postcards? Why did you talk so so spooky
to that poor old mailman?
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Because because because you wouldn't believe it.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
Sh don't make a sound, honey, not a sound?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
But you sure you should be doing this? After all?
Hed here? What is hell?
Speaker 3 (40:34):
No? Hear us?
Speaker 4 (40:36):
Good old hell? It's fastest sleep those pills. Gids should
do the trick. How much longer is old Hell gonna last?
For honey?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Well, not too much longer.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
We suppose they do an autopsy, won't.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
They find you know, darling? I am his doctor. I'll
sign the de certificate. Who's gonna find anything? Oh? You think?
Come on?
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Give Christians a little kiss?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Well first, give Freddy a little drink.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
I don't know what we have in the house.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
I don't let me give each of you a little shot?
How old please?
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Old guy didn't mean she made me do.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Morning officer, morning, sir, great day. Oh yes, I see
there's new tombstone. He's there. Hi John cow excellently crafted
stone work about Harold K. Starbright born in July the first,
nineteen thirty seven. Died March fifteenth, nineteen seventy eight. Oh yes, yes, yes,
(41:53):
he's a guy that was involved in those murders. Murders. Yes,
it was in the papers. He's been in the dumps
ever since he lost his job. He must be over
a year. So one day he goes out and kills
his ex boss, and then he comes home and shoots
his wife and her boyfriend. It's a tragic oh yes, yes, yes,
(42:17):
never did stand trial though he was dying in some
kind of yeah, with disease. Nobody could figure out just what,
but it cut him. Mm it's just as well. I
suppose you're right about the stone. I never did notice
notice this kind of thing before. But it's beauty, yes,
but the one just over here to the left of it,
(42:39):
that's even prettier. Okay, Well, yes that's right. Yeah, isn't
it magnificent? Sure? Is it? Says Philip Richard Marty born
November pretty third, nineteen forty. That. Hey, that's my name,
there's my birthday. Well, it's probably a coincidence, guid August thirty,
(43:06):
nineteen eighty. Tell her that me August thirty, nineteen eighty,
as all those two years from now. Yes, that's my toomstalk, officer, officer,
Are you all right? How's my toombs talk?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I told you we'd hear from that gentleman again, and
perhaps i'd been able to perform a most vital service
for all of you, should you ever find yourself in
a cemetery for any reason other than the ultimate, and
a gentleman offers to show you some excellent examples of
sculpture avoid him at all costs. Radio Mystery Theater was
(43:56):
sponsored in part by Buick Motor Division.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
This is E. G. Marshall inviting you to return to
our Mystery Theater for another adventure in the macabre. Until
next time, pleasant gre
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CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.