Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The CBS Radio Mystery Theater presents. Come in Welcome. I'm e. G. Marshall.
(00:26):
Among the more expensive and certainly the most relaxing of
pastimes is the institution of the Caribbean Cruise. We have
chartered for you, one of the happiest, smoothest, most relaxing
of ships. Everything special, everything happy, everything exciting and romantic
(00:47):
and just for you. Doesn't it sound enticing? No wonder?
People rush to get away from it all, most people
not quite all, as this story will bear out.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
That's catch up to them, Sam, so I can make
certain of what you make them. I'm crazy, but that's not.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
The same man. You're right, Lillly, I think you're crazy. Oh,
mister Drama A matter of Custom was written especially for
the Mystery Theater by Ian Mayer and stars Mary Jane
(01:30):
Higbee and Cork Benson. It is sponsored in part by
x Lax and True Value Hardware Stores. I'll be back
shortly with that one. A world tour in miniature, eight
(01:54):
ports of calls, each rich in national identity to make
a roofer Venezuela, Grenada. Oh forgive me, you caught me
leafing through the travel brochures again. I'm beginning to get
the wanderlust myself. I mean, just listen, the most gorgeous
(02:18):
white beaches in the world, elegance, entertainment, gourmet food, everything
at your fingertips. What else could anyone do but relax
and forget that the world is too much with us?
But then, as you'll see, it takes all kinds of people.
(02:41):
Really come on the cabs downstairs already in a minute, Sam,
you know planes, don't wait? What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I'm just making sure the windows were closed and the
lights were all off.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Oh I already did that? Follow you?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Who could trust you? I'll just supple check the living
room and the diner.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Milly, I got the elevator waiting, silly?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Can wait?
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
You see you've forgot in the dining room what one
of the window handles wasn't closed all the way?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
She looks like an angel, and she acts like a snoop.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
That's your little wife. But what would you do without
her fans?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
If you don't get a move on, Milly, you will
be without mate.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You got everything?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Why else would you put up with me for thirty fives?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I wonder I did got ticket? Yes, the passport.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
We don't need them.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
But yes, credit cards, a Travis check.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I've got them. All your glasses
bright in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
The extra one.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I've put some in the big bag.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Oh just one more thing?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh what Milly? Justice shopping gag Milly, you can't take
anything else. We're overweight already. What's in there?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
My detective novels?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
You know something? You should have been the first lady,
car Lie Millie. If I was a crook and you were,
I take the blaze.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Oh you're just buttering me up. But if I had
the chat, I'll give you one right.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Now, but one last chance to get going. We're gonna
miss the boat. Will you move it allwie?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
We gotta get out to the airport.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
What's the hurry? One down? I ain't all the way
awake here five in the am.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
It's a shot a flight. We got to get there
early to get good seats. But once you get to
the boat, you can sleep all you want there.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
If I can sleep for running scared over this deal
You've got.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Me in and it's the best break you ever had
in your life, It says me. You weren't doing so
hot on your own.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
At least that was clean.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
That's only because you were clean that they wanted you.
That's why you get to the break with the organization. Look, now,
can we get this show on the road and you
out of the bathroom?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Okay, okay, you get the elevator and I'll get the
bags out of landing.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Oh help, I got my own cosmetic bag, and give
me a sling bag.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
That bag, that that's Set's all I can take ashore. Huh.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
It's got everything you need overnight stuff. Change you raise
it to shave the bed off it. You got your
old passport.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
With the right picture. Don't worry. It's my key back home.
Unless what do you mean? Unless suppose the big man,
Suppose Louis Marino decides he'd feel more secure the less
people know he's back in the us of a. Suppose
he took a notion to waste me.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Louie wouldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Mm hmm. Wish I was as sure it.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Can be on account of the old days.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
What old days? Hey, wait a minute, exactly how close
were you in the old days with him? You could
be so sure?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Close enough, Hollie, But it's it was family.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, I don't like that family business.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Hollie, nobody but Tony Fats and maybe Audi the pawn
broke and no. But just to set your mind at.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Rest, set my mind at rest. If you can watch
Louis Marino to you, then on Now he's my.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Brother, Hollie. That's practically the only reason I got you
into this.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Practically what other reasons?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I'll tell you that after we get on the boat.
May I see your tickets?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Please? Guy already took him.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
I just wanted to look at the folder to get
your seat number.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Sir.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
That's row eight C and D, the two aisle seats
aprils back.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Hey, wait a minute, we don't get to sit together.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
I'm sorry. So you're quite late. Just six more passengers
and we'll be taking off. They all have aisle seats too.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Look, I don't like the idea of sitting without. Don't
start a buss.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, but the hwy.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Let's go. Okay, wonder you take.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
The one on the left, I'll take the one on
the right.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I'll put your bag under the seat. Huh you want
to handle your coat?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
No, we're bucking the eye.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
It's sure, sir. Is it this shopping bag here under
the feet? Ma'am?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Oh? Yes, I'm sorry. Is it in your way?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Well I would want to get rid of it's your
bag of mine?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Oh well, maybe we could put mine up above. What's
in it books detective stories.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Oh, I don't think they'd let you put anything heavy yet. There.
Oh dear, what's in your bag?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I mean is it heavy?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh well that's too heavy, I guess for Oh I'm sorry,
just give me a second. Oh I shoved mine alongside
let me.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh sorry, Oh I knocked your dark glasses off.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
That's all right, ma'am. Well why don't you go on
past me. I'm gonna have to look on the floor
of glass.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh, let me help you.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
What happened? Really?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Oh? This gentleman dropped his glasses. Sam, Oh wait a minute,
I have them. I didn't know you were short sighted.
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Huh he short sided? Oh yeah, yeah, that's that's why
I have to wear the glasses we hide.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Well, now, you'd never know it to look at them.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah yeah, well, hey, you know, just give me cold off,
all right?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Howie?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
And got some nosy old thing here wants to talk
my ear off.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
My guy next to me doesn't speak English. Want a trade?
It could be safer, mind if I join you, well,
there was a gentleman. Who that's my husband? Oh dear,
I hope he isn't mad at me. Why I'm afraid
I knocked his glasses off. My mistake. Oh no, not didn't.
(08:52):
I I just forgot. He always likes to sit where
his left hand is free. He's left handed, in case
he wants to write. I'm a writer now isn't that
interesting with his left hand too? What books has he written?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Have you? I don't think he.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Want to talk about that. You see, he's on the
cruise to get away from all that. Accordinator is a
settlement and welcome aboard flight eight five four. Your pilot
is Captain Turner, and I am Kathy, your chief hostess.
We're about to taxi to the takeoff circle, so we're
gonna ask you to put out all stirrits, bring your
(09:30):
chairs to the upright position, and fasten.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Your seat up.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Such a nice cabin, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Then you say that again, particularly under the circumstances.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
You mean, because we got an outside room instead of inside.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I think we got somebody else's cabinel.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
So don't make waves, particularly on an ocean of Oh look,
we have a porthole, and all I know we'll have
to write the tourie people and thanks, and we got
such nice things. And that reminds me.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
What reminds you?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
What?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
You know?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
The fellow I knocked the glasses off of who wouldn't
sit with me on the plane but sent his wife
to sit.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I remember him.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
His wife lied about him.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Hell what way?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Remember she said he was left handed? Well he wasn't
left handed. The man whose wife sat next to us
on the plane. I never said her name.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I'm lost.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You don't listen. The man's wife said he wanted to
have his left hand free because he was a writer.
So how come when we came aboard with all the
things to sign and all he signed?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Right? Really, I don't know. Maybe the guy has zamboo
something or other. Are we on a holiday or road?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
We you know, we are precious thirty five year anniversary.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
So we'll concentrate on that and kud our blessing.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
And we have more than enough. There's a wonderful cabin
on top of it all. Except I do feel as guilty.
Maybe we're doing somebody else out of what they should have.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
If we are, we'll soon find out. Meantime, like you said,
why should we make waves? What kind of lousy closet
is this?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I don't know, Howie.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Well we supposed to have an inside sag not the
way I heard it. But so why don't we have
to take a runner around here?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I'm phone in that jerk who said he was the purser.
I want to know what? Don't do it? What are
you talking about? Obviously there's been a mix up in
cabin assignments. I'm gonna get it straightened out right now.
If I was you, Howie, I wouldn't. Why not under
the circumstances. I figured the last thing we wanted too
attract attention, some gay little trip this is going to be?
(12:05):
And how you figure? Luious move aboard the CIA. So
how would the man himself feel about this pint sized
hot box?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
That's his worry when his time comes? Right now? Our
is it to stay real? Low key?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
We remind you that today is not a tender day.
You made the bark straight to the dock. If you're
not going on the tour like.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
White itself, isn't it take? Where are they?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I can't keep on going? I got it with me.
I broke the church I got had on them in
the place.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh why'd you turn off what they're telling us?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Well, I'm tired of being told I'd like to move
around by myself.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Well, you won't get farved without your glasses? What's wrong
with your extra fair?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I must have forgotten to put them in.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Oh, I should have known everything I have to do
for you, Haiti Jamaica Ruber. You didn't really see them.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Who had much chance? The book was so late and
you could have looked. Come on, come on, let's see
if I can't get my glasses fixed in Venezuela. Okay,
wonder this is it?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Howie? You don't have to sound like a movie before
the big attack?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Get why not? Maybe I won't come back either.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Come on out of this. You and me are going
to buy the whole future for a lousy thousand dollars
they're paying to take this crew. No for a little
deal I set up when we hit Karakas. A deal
is gonna put us on easy Street.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
You're not setting up some kind of double cross.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
No, no, no, howie. My brother Louis will get his
chance to sneak into the States thanks to us. But
just as long as we're playing outside the law. I'm
going all the way. This is our chance to make
a stake for the rest of our life. Oh well,
that's something you never have to know. Just do as
I tell you. Except for one thing. What's that when
(14:17):
the switch is made, you and Louis are going to
exchange clothes, also sling bags. Just let me handle the bags.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
All right, because.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Honey, you leave me alone and the future is ours.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
As I said, it takes all kinds of people to
make a world. The right ones and the wrong ones.
It's obvious and not who are the wrong ones in
our story? And by the same token, who are the
right ones? But except for the fact they are cruising
on the same ship, how could a simple couple like
Sam and Millie Gorman affect? Howie and Wander's plans would
(15:00):
turn shortly? With Act two, The travel Folder says of
the port of Laguera, deep enough into Venezuela to capture
the wild and wonderful flavors of the South American continent,
(15:22):
of contrasts, enchanted forests, the glittering excitement of silver and
glass shopping bazaars. That's for the tourists, But for our story,
there is a quiet stroll along the waterfront, then a
sudden cutaway from the water deep into the narrow streets
of the old town, back to the foot of the
(15:44):
mountains and into a CANTEENA later, as evening gathers, they
return a bearded man with a sling bag and a
blonde girl in a halter, slacks and a large summer hat. Look, Sam, what.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
A mystery man and his mom? Oh, you know on
the plane And I told you they were right across
the hall. Promise on the ship.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Oh yeah, any inside cabin, Let's catch.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Up and talk to them. I don't know. There's something
about him that, you know, intrigues me, Shine, But.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
There's something about him and turns me off. What I think.
We have his cabin and he has ours, and I
don't want to get into some brannigan about making the change.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Don't be silly. We can't be. If we worry, would
have complained. On the other hand, why hasn't he complained?
How about what about us being in his cabin?
Speaker 1 (16:44):
If we are well? I thought, you said, why not?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I did, But if we are, why hasn't he Where
is he worse? He complained?
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Maybe I missed something, Maybe we both did.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
It's very mysterious. What is Why does he keep to
himself so much with his sexy wife?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Maybe you just said it.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Oh, I mean you go on a cruise for fun.
Why don't they mingle. You said he had a heart condition.
Oh I didn't. His wife did.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Well, it doesn't matter who said it. You've got the condition.
Maybe he wants to rest.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
This is the very first time he's been ashore. It's funny.
Take a good look at her in him.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I'm looking him.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
You see anything interesting? Look at his shirt? The shoulders
materials too loose. That shirt doesn't fit him. And the
hat it's too big. It sits right down on his ears.
It didn't this morning. Maybe a haircut, he couldn't you know?
(17:52):
It was a feast day. The shops were all closed.
Come on, let's hurry and try to catch him. Hear
it for so I can make certain of what of
what I'm seeing. He has the same clothes and the
beard and dark glasses as a man that left the
ship with her this morning. But but what well you
(18:15):
may think I'm crazy, but that's not the same man.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
What's your hurry? One to take it easy?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Play it cool, nosy little game. But don't look around.
It's it's missus Gorman. You're the ones I think got
Our cabin had the doors right opposite her, so so
she's one of those little dames got to be friends
with everyone. She caught Howie and me leaving this morning.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
How do you mean caught? Well, we've both came out.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Of our cabin at the same time, and she wanted
to know were we going to Caracas on the butt tour?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
So you told her no.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yeah, I said how he had a cold and it
had given him laryngitislike that. We've been up for nearly
five days and I don't want anybody to hear his
voice again, you know, just in case.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Hey, yes, smart kid says just the same.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Let's let's keep away from this snoop. Here's a game, plank,
let's get on board.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
You're sure it's all this easy to get back on board?
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Sure, you go ahead. All we do is hang our
landing tags on a bulletin board.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Watch your steps out or tied us up the end
of the boarding ladders riding high, Please step.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Down, Paul, Oh yeah, thank you, my pleasure. Have nice
time Ashore.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Oh yes, thanks, I'll be glad.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Change or there what they're from? Tip to shore? One
comes back a new man.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Uh, it's more like a new woman.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I met him and could not be improved upon. Hey,
come on, let's get down to the cabin.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Oh yeah, he's kind of cute. The cruise director. Here
come the Gorman's come, let's catch the elevator.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Why'd you have to raise me like that, Millie?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I told you, Sam, I wanted to catch up with
mister and missus Rivers all deer. They just went down
in the elevator. Maybe if we took the stairs and
hurd a.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Listen, Millie, that's enough of it. I'm not gonna let
you bade your people. It is because of a hobby.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I wasn't very badger them. I just wanted to see,
if I guessed right.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Were at our sixty shipboard neighbors and suddenly change partners
in the middle of the dance. Yeah, oh, that's ridiculous.
You don't stop reading those detective novels, those spy stories.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I'm sorry, Sam, it's just the game.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
You don't really believe that's another man.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Ooh No, But wouldn't it be fun if it was
and we were the only ones to spot it?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Hey, you better lockdown, all right, Louis can give me
a bag.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
I'll unpack it.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Well, I'll do it myself.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Come on, I know were to put things away.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I'll find my own places. I like to handle my
personal things.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Oh you and how he stayed here and this all
the first five days.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Well, how he stayed out of sight. I circulated a little.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
I have a meal, well, breakfast.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
You can get in the cabin. Lunch is easy, mostly
buffet dinners, dinner's chancey some open sittings or buffets. But
you're supposed to have a regular table at early or
late sittings.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
So we have one.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
No, not yet. You see, there's always a midnight buffet,
so eating's no problem.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
We don't want to be too different from anyone else.
How'd you manage that so far? Well?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Like how he wasn't all that well we said he
had a heart condition.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Oh blaze, for the way it is, I can hold
up here, has seen nobody in my own business till
I get home.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, Well, we get to Saint Thomas, we gotta pass
in improgration.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Well, I want to sweat that out when we get there.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
And for whatever greatest custom.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
That a breeze. We ain't buying nothing.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
It could be safer if we had a few things
to declare.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Oh yeah, yeah, well you can have your shopping spring
in Saint Thomas the other islands, least say right here
on board. Take no chances. Okay, so the way things stand,
no problems. H I think maybe I was a little
shut I.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Let me get that bag out of your wigh, but.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
It ain't in my way. What's the big deal? I
just wanted to when I get ready to unpack the bag,
I'll do it. Any objections, no, Louis, no none, So
go ahead and enjoy yourself. Maybe you ought to be
seen around. I don't need you. Oh I need is
to get back home. Thing You're gonna see waves when
(22:56):
I really start to rock the boat.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
You don't want to play bing go tonight.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I'd rather play Joker seven, the game of the girl
who deals it. That's the name of the game.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Are you old Gold? She's young enough to be your grandchild.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
What pleases me most is she isn't.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You ought to be ashamed of yourself then, and so
should you.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Where you've been going on about our shipmates across the current, Oh.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I'm just having a little fun doesn't mean anything, Just like.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Me having a little fun, it doesn't mean a thing.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
All right, all right them, you've made your point. I'm
going to leave them alone from now on.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
That's great. We made too many good friends on the
cruise to pay any attention to two people who choose
to be on their own.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
It's such a pity, though the poor man is sick.
Though it is sort of the classic thing to do
if you're up to any hijinks. What are you talking about,
detective stories? You always have to look out for anyone
who's sick or in a wheelchair or I suppose you've
been in a coma ever since.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Oh, for peach sake, Lily, don't start up again, he addressed.
Yes I have, and come on, let's get upstairs or
copside or whatever they call it. Dance. Yes, and you're
gonna forget that mister and missus Rivers and forget they
ever existed.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Right right, darling, I was acting silly. Go on, that's
for them.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
After humility, Thank you, your earlship.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
I'm sorry, Oh mister Rivers, Oh dear, I knocked your
glasses off again. What's happened to your voy Really?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
I am a color calls and the claranchiish, yeah, hear
your glasses, mister Rivers. Yeah, thanks. I I was just
looking out to see if the air conditioning is You
got telling your cabin?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Oh yes, you don't, and you're not well. Oh now,
if there's anything, it's all right.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Maybe maybe it's just I get you know, like a custrophobia. Yeah,
I'm sure I will come on again. Who are you
talking to? The nose across the hall?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
That woman she could be dangerous.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
I don't think so. She's just a silly game. But
you you're something else.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (25:33):
You were real anxious to unpack my bag? The bag
eye switched to a towy, wasn't you well? I just
thought I could do something. Be you done plenty? I'm
what getting smuggled into the United States? You out of
your mind to try to get this ass got some dol? Really?
(26:01):
What is it? I thought we were going dancing? What
do you want to come up here on this?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I just don't say anything and we can get river
all of me over there? Stop wady?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
What is it now?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You've got to forgive me, Sam. The voice is one thing.
Maybe he could have laryngitis. But the eyes the man
on the plan, they were light brown. This man, they're
dark and I don't know. Piercing, mean, cruel and give
me the shivers.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
What are you talking about, mister Rivers?
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Only it isn't mister Rivers. He's someone else, just like
I said when he came on the boat. Why what
are they up to? I'm scared, I'm really scared.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Now Here is an adventure not listed in the advertising
brochure plan for the cruise, something very far from peace
and serenity and relaxation, and with an underlying threat of
a danger. Millie Gorman, the amateur detective could not even
dream of a danger that may be heightened because a
(27:16):
desperate man is facing another threat to his security, this
one posed by his sister wander. Now return shortly with
Act three. There is an Italian phrase douche farniente, which
(27:40):
means literally delightful idleness and by projection a never never land,
a special world apart the kind of dreaming delightful peace
a cruise is supposed to create. But twich on, this
one has been rudely broken by two threats. Let's return
first to the one pos in that stuffy little inside
(28:01):
cabin from which a notorious expatriot hopes to engineer his
illegal return to the States.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I didn't want you to find out about that, Louis.
I figured it at a stake for both of us.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
You figured it's a stake for you. You two time.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
And Lois Waite.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Listen to me, what could you sell me if it
hadn't been for that interfering woman across the carridor and
had gotten somewhere and dumped it shunkover? Boys? Ad you crazy?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Get a minion bos in that package that said, my
life don't be worth a nickel if I don't bring.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
That in duel life whatever, mind, that's what you're being
paid to worry about living up to.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
What I promised to do. Listen. One of my idea,
someone the syndict figured, as long as we had this
set up, there was a whole kilo of a big
h waiting for transport.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
So I got a oh do you think you're kidding?
Baby sister? Someone offered you a deal bankala this.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I want his name, Johnny's fat and.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
That figures where did he get to door buy this package? Honest?
I don't that figures? Do someone's gonna be out of bundle.
What do you mean you can first chance I get,
I'm dumping this over the side.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Uh you sure that's smart.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
All I care about is gotten Namda. One time back
though means nothing, and I don't want something like this
to mess up my chances are coming home.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
It could mean more than you think. How you've been
away a lot of years, Louis, some of the boys
ain't so anxious to see you back. So it's a
little insurance in case things don't go over your way
and you have to get out again.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Maybe you got some anyways where you We've got some
time to think it over. Now. I'll tell you what
I'll do really tomorrow when we get to Trinidad and
go ashore, I'll have my glasses fixed. Then as soon
(30:17):
as I get a chance, I'll have a close look
at mister Rippers.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
I supposing you don't agree with me.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Well, then I want you to promise to stop playing
detective and then do what we took this cruise for
ensure yourself.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
But I am enjoying myself.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Okay, So let's say you're right, really, well, what are
you going to do about it? Go to the person
the captain to say we've got to stow away.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Aboard, yes, or something like that.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Well he isn't, actually, I mean his passage is paid for.
He's like a well substitute. But why, honey, I don't care,
and neither should you.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
But he might be some kind of criminal color.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
That's just what I mean. If he is, I don't
want you getting mixed up.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
No, I got no right to be risking your happiness.
We are retired at least doing the things we always
planned looking forward do so much more. No, Sam, I'm sorry.
I don't care who mister Rivers is. I just care
who we are and that we stay that way.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
I love you. I've made a career out of it,
never regretted it. I love you, Middie Wander said his
bundle of h How did you figure to get it
past the customer?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
That was the whole gimmick of setting up Howie is
a heart patience?
Speaker 1 (31:51):
What do you mean gimmick?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
What was a couple of years ago before I married Howie?
I well, I was on one of these cruises and
when it came time to pass through customs, well we
you it's a big shmear lugging bag lifting them, opening
and putting him down. I tell you, it's like I'm mad.
So there was this older guy and he says, I
gotta have a porter or a red cap or something.
(32:15):
I'm not allowed to lift anything with my heart condition.
So the guy says, wait a minute, I'll get your
steve door. And along comes this guy with a car
and a hot man, goes straight through, no questions, Nobody
looks at his Bagageeven so, the fellow I was with said, hey,
how about that? Any time you want to smuggle something
home free? How's that for an angle?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
One time you get a blaze?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
No, Louie, I have to run quite a bit. It
happens a lot, no matter where you come from.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
So maybe, yeah, I don't know how I gotta take guess.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Maybe you'd like to go ashore?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Nah? No, I risk it? Yeah, but why not you
twin dad? Huh? I could use some rum. Maybe that
I at this sweat bath.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
It's better at Barbados.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Barbados is tomorrow, Trinidad is today. Yeah, yeah, why don't
you go ashore? Break back a bottle? Really? But what
are you doing? Oh? Sam?
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I thought you were taking.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
A nap where I was, but not now what are
you up to?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Oh? Nothing, really, I couldn't help it, Sam, the cruise
is almost over. And except the time we saw her
in Trinidad buying some rum, they've never been out of
that cabin.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
I thought you were going to forget the rivers. Why
try to?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
But it isn't so easy.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Hey, when you got me going about them too, well,
this may be our last chance today.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Yes, Saint Thomas is our last island to go ashore.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
I wasn't thinking of that. So today everybody has to
be in the main lounge for immigration. And now I
got my spectacles again, maybe I'll have a real good
look at mister rivers alas dyah. Who the rivers? Really?
(34:15):
We've forgotten about them?
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Promise, yes, but you promised the first chance you got
with your spectacles.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
You do gething?
Speaker 2 (34:22):
They're coming by. Now here's your.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Chance maybe either quiet, Oh, I'm just gonna take.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
They said, not too long. You got your papers, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I got everything I need. You know, all my glasses. Well,
i'd shack better and I keep more too long? Well, Sam,
really it's the same guy who flew down with us
on a plane.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Sam, you're lying, believed that's.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
The same guy. It's got nothing to do with us,
and that's how it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yes, Sam, thirty five years and you've always been right.
I'm I want to put it you I know, so
you're right, Sam, who's argument.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
We've all cleared immigration now and all it remains to
do is go through customs, which we'll have to do
when we arrive at port every day it's Florida. Remember
you may bring in duty free one quarter of liquors,
which you will know not be buying today. Just one
word of warning. If anybody with a little cash of
grass or anything harder, forget it. You might pull the
(35:34):
eyes who inspect your baggage, but you can't pull Daisy.
Who's Daisy special operative Kane Hine. She's a dog, and
don't try to buy fast her. She knows she's trained
to sniff up the stuff. I'll let enjoy Saint Thomas.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
On dog who figured on that chunk through?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
You? Are you all?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
This is?
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Now? We have to ditch it?
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Maybe not a How about the rum bottle? We haven't
did that.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yet, not yet.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
We're gonna ante it now, probably them to sinking good rum.
Why we dry it out? Put the heroine in it.
Stop it tight enough the dog can't sniff it.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Oh that that's an awful chance.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
And really we won't be taking it through customers. What
do you mean? I'll show you after we go ashore.
It's about time for me to stretch my legs and
the liquor will be delivered right to the shift here.
Thank you. We better get back, No hurry, I gotta
(36:46):
find my pigeon.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Do me a favor, hunt, Go keep that liquor salesman
busy while you get us another bottle for the cabin.
But anything, just so long as your cape and bourbon. Okay,
couldn't care less. I got what I wanted, even more
than I expected. Where is it good? There? Our neighbors,
(37:15):
the nosy lady buying a package of liquor, just like
us them. I wonder Now we can go back to
the ship, just a little.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Bull of those who bought your quota liquor today before
we sail for Saint Thomas. It'll be placed outside your
cabins a please check and make sure.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
You have it.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
No more about our play.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Did we check our liquor? Don't worry, I got any
clauses already. I also got rid of our extra bible.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
What extra bottle?
Speaker 1 (37:48):
The bottle that doesn't contain liquid, that has the hot stuff? Human?
That's it? But where you gotta keep the brain working
every minute? Wonder I lifted a bottle from the Gorman's
package and replaced it with a high bottle. What better
way to bipack the dog and us customs? And even
(38:10):
if we don't, I'm still safe. If they do find
the h it ain't on me.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I could just stash it on our neighbor's duty free cotton.
There's a special tape that seals it easy.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Why you kept the liquor man busy by an hour?
Extra bottle? And I filched en up tape to reseal
the Garton After I made the switch.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
How do we get the stuff back?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
And checked the manifest Mister and missus Sam Gorman, seven
point thirty four West seventy second Street. Soon as we
hit the big Apple, we make one little b tour
there to pick it up.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
What do we say?
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Just there was a mix up, And if they don't
buy that, it's a nice quiet neighborhood. Anything could happen.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Such a wonderful cruise. Such a wonderful time, know Sam,
how good it is to be home?
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, what's wrong? I could have sworn. I double off
the apartment when we left. I only had to use
one key.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Now, Sam, don't start to worry the moment where you.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Could he be? No one knows where I'll get it. Wait, wait,
wait a minute, now, just let me handle it. Yeah,
my missus Conman you remember us from the cruise.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Oh yes, mister and missus Rivers. Won't you come in
just for a minute.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
You see there it was a mix up in some
of our baggage. You got our liquor package instead of yours.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Really, I mean you're sure this one here is yours?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, I'm sure, and that's what I'm taking away.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Well, now just a minute. This package is my name
on it.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
Let's not argue. Missus gone and this is a gun,
and I want what's mine and that's not you'll get
LORI by You're covered all over six guns. You're a
big fish, mister Marina. And as long as you picked
up the bait, we want to make sure you don't
get away.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
I know I promised, Sam, But won't you forgive me?
Speaker 1 (40:25):
How did you know to call the cops and how
did you do it without me knowing?
Speaker 2 (40:30):
While you were checking through customs? I call them? How
did I know?
Speaker 1 (40:34):
You?
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Sam? I just can't help it. I just noticed things.
The special seal on our liquor package was suddenly on backwards,
so I steamed it off to have a look. That's
when I knew. How could I tell you? You wouldn't
have let me do it?
Speaker 1 (40:51):
I did. Really, I'm a retired man. I want to
enjoy the quiet. I thought I couldn't you.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yes them, I've had enough kicks. I'm ready to retire too.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
There are now plenty of charges stacked up against Louis
Marino through little Missus Gorman's sharpness, for illegal possession of drugs, smuggling,
and any number of other charges to put him away
for the rest of his life. I don't know if
there's a moral in this accepted. Maybe if you want
to be crooked, don't mess with the innocent. It's only
(41:38):
the ones without any larceny in their hearts you can't
figure at all. I'll be back shortly. This is what
is generally known as the head, except honestly, in this case,
(42:03):
it isn't. We have brought to a story that might
happen on a Caribbean cruise. To the best of our knowledge,
it never has, except this once in imagination. We urge
all of you listening to consider that would never happen
on your cruise through that romantic sea and with all
the delights the islands can bring you. Our cast included
(42:27):
Mary Jane Higbee, Court Benson, Joan Copeland, and Leon Janney.
The entire production was under the direction of Hymen Brown Radio.
Mystery Theater was sponsored in part by Buick Motor Division
and arm Allergy Relief Medicine. This is E. G. Marshall
inviting you to return to our Mystery Theater for another
(42:48):
adventure in the macabre. Until next time, Pleasant Dreams by
(43:21):
BA