Episode Transcript
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Emma (00:00):
Hey Sam, what is this?
Sam (00:02):
Hi Emma, this is Chat Out
Of Hell, the UK's most
downloaded fortnightly podcastabout the works of Meat Loaf and
Jim Steinman.
But who is Meat Loaf?
Emma (00:10):
Oh, Meat Loaf was a singer
and occasional songwriter who
somehow managed to sustain 18concussions throughout his life.
Who's Jim Steinman?
Sam (00:20):
Jim Steinman was a
songwriter and perpetual liar
whose high school essay, TheThree Greatest American
Inventions, was printed in theUS Congressional Record.
Who are we?
Emma (00:32):
we are Crossland
Wilkinson, a comedy Double Act
with a show coming up at theNottingham Comedy Festival on
Sunday, the 10th of November at6:30 PM It's called Mean
Business and it's a look intothe strange world of our evil
mega corporation.
It's at the Navigation Inn onWilford Street in Nottingham,
and you can find out more aboutit on the Nottingham Comedy
(00:53):
Festival website.
Sam (00:54):
That's better than advert
for mattresses, isn't it?
Emma (00:56):
Loads better.
Sam (00:57):
Welcome to Chat Out of
Hell! So here's a message that
landed in our inbox this week.
Emma (01:07):
hmm.
Sam (01:09):
this is from Claire
Muncaster.
Emma (01:11):
Hi Claire.
Sam (01:12):
Hi Claire.
it says, Sam and Emma, I have achosen family of Meat Loaf fans
and I'm so happy you covered mybeloved Where the Rubber Meets
the Road on Chat Out of Hell.
I, I'm glad you're happy Claire,we, we didn't like the song but
I'm glad you can see past thatand still email those.
Thank you so much
Emma (01:32):
for that.
Thanks, Claire.
Sam (01:33):
Dad played Meat Loaf stuff
in the car as well as Tom Waits
and I would always do my physioto it in my purple corrective
shoes.
I'm seeing Celebrating Meat Loafnext month with his original
band plus Caleb Johnson.
It won't be the same, but it'llbe as close as I'll ever get,
sadly.
Emma (01:48):
Oh, I've been meaning to
talk to you about Caleb Johnson.
Sam (01:51):
Yeah, shall we talk now?
Emma (01:52):
We can do.
have you heard of Caleb Johnson,
Sam (01:54):
Sam?, yeah, I believe he's
doing the vocals on Celebrating
Meat Loaf,
Emma (01:58):
he does a lot with Meat
Loaf's band
Sam (02:00):
so that's the Neverland
express.
Emma (02:01):
Yeah.
He's got stuff up on iTunes.
I've had a listen.
It's quite good.
Sam (02:05):
Okay, so should we factor
that into the Loafverse
Emma (02:08):
I think we should factor
Caleb into the Loafverse, and we
should perhaps look at hisoeuvre one
Sam (02:13):
Okay, we can do that.
Celebrating Meat Loaf, I wasn'taware of
Emma (02:16):
it No, neither was i.
Sam (02:17):
Neverland Express and Caleb
are touring the UK at the minute
thank you Claire for alerting usto that thing, thanks so much
for listening, and seeing pastour disdain for your favourite
Meat Loaf song, I hope you agreewith us on some other stuff.
Or, you enjoy disagreeing
Emma (02:35):
Are we that podcast that
Claire
Sam (02:37):
at?
It's all clicks,
Emma (02:39):
It is all clicks.
Sam (02:40):
So that's one email.
That was in our inbox.
And then, I've got somethingelse to read to you that
actually was in our
Emma (02:46):
in our outbox.
Sam (02:47):
Yeah.
This was sent from our email,chatoutofhellatgmail.
com Dear A1
Emma (02:55):
God!
Sam (02:57):
My name is Sam Wilkinson,
and with my colleague Emma
Crossland, I host Chat Out ofHell, Britain's most downloaded
fortnightly podcast about theworks of songwriter Jim Steinman
Steidman, and his musicalcollaborator and best bud, Meat
Loaf.
I guess you could say that JimSteinman was the A1 sauce to
Meat Loaf's meat loaf.
Why give it a listen?
It's remarkably accessible andfun, even if you're not a Meat
(03:19):
Loaf fan.
Though we know you are, ofcourse.
If you've not heard of us, Emmaand I are a pretty big deal in
the UK stand up comedy scene.
Open brackets.
Please don't Google us toconfirm that.
Close brackets.
Open brackets, I know you're asauce that respects a bit of
hustle, and even if you didGoogle us, you'd never reveal
(03:39):
what you saw.
Close brackets.
Open bracket.
look, if you do Google us, thatfirst result from Hot Water
Comedy Club isn't reallyrepresentative of my style these
days.
While competent from a technicalstandpoint, it's a bit ruder
than the sort of thing I go fornow.
I know you're a family sauce,and you can't be associated with
that kind of rum behaviour.
(04:00):
Close brackets.
You're probably thinking, get tothe point, man! I'm a busy
sauce! Yeah, fair enough, I dotend to witter on.
Well, you're a sauce with a longmemory, so you'll recall that in
2009, you teamed up with MeatLoaf for a contest called Sing
for Your Beef, in which peoplewere invited to submit music
videos they'd made in praise ofyour product.
(04:23):
We discussed the ad you madewith Meat Loaf on our recent
episode on I'd Do Anything forLove But I Won't Do That.
I've worked out from yourYouTube channel that the winners
were Waxandherbert with"A1 YouMake My Beef Sing", and Sean
Long with"Batman Loves A1 SteakSauce".
And that the prize was"a wholeyear of glorious meat".
Sadly, singforyourbeef.
(04:44):
com is now defunct, so I can'tget any more detail.
What was the deal, A1?
How was this year of gloriousmeat delivered, and what size
freezer did they need?
Oh, or did you mean it was justa year of A1?
How much A1 is that?
You can't get A1 over here, soI've had difficulty explaining
to Emma the flavour of A1 sauce.
I ate it once in a diner inWorcester, Massachusetts, but I
(05:04):
can't quite put my finger on it.
I mean, if a famous sauce didjust happen to land on my
doorstep one day, I'd make sureit was used in some kind of
taste test against our localsauces on a podcast that's
supposed to be about music, butoften isn't.
Just saying! Oh gosh, is that mypostal address at the bottom of
this message?
Cripes.
Yeah, I agree it's a long shot.
If you don't want to send usinternational sauce, please just
(05:26):
describe the flavour of A1,ideally with reference to
British brown sauce.
That would be great, and we'llgive you a cheeky shoutout on
our next episode.
I'm sure you've got someproducts in the UK our listeners
can buy.
Thanks a bunch, Sam Wilkinson.
And then there's my address.
P.
S.
My friend Kerry once gentlychided me for emailing Robinson
Squash customer services with anequally stupid message.
(05:49):
She had a point.
You guys have a hard enough jobto do without this nonsense.
I hope this serves as a sillylight point in your day and not
just another load of rubbish youhave to deal with.
If it's the former, feel free tojust fob me off.
It's fine.
I hope you have a great day, andI promise to give the top rating
on your feedback mechanism andsing the praises of whoever
responds to this no matter whathappens.
Deal?
(06:09):
So there you go.
That was, a message that somehowgot sent from our
Emma (06:13):
Gosh, I wonder how that
got sent.
Sam (06:15):
Dunno, Emma, dunno.
Emma (06:16):
Have a few thoughts.
Yeah?
main thought that I've had is,that is an excellent piece of
procrastination activity there.
Is there something that youshould have been cleaning or?
Sam (06:27):
Actually, it was when I was
waiting for the bus there were
some scary men discussing theirprison sentences, so I took my
phone out.
I've just got on with some work.
I figured, I'd use this tolaunch our socials, because our
social media presences need somework.
yes.
yes.
I'm going to get our Instagramon the move put this on our.,
(06:49):
facebook.
Yes.
page as well.
So there's a hashtag for this.
If people want to use thehashtag, hashtag Dear A one
sauce, please send some of yourA one sauce to Sam from the
really good podcast chat out ofhell.
sorry.
Emma (07:03):
Sorry! Ow!
Sam (07:06):
That would really help the,
uh, that would help the whole
process.
Emma (07:12):
I didn't think I knew
anybody that was, worse at
social media than amazing, like,gold star, that's so
Sam (07:21):
Please do tweet about the
podcast with the hashtag Dear
A1Sauce, please send some ofyour A1Sauce
Emma (07:26):
Are people still
Sam (07:27):
Good.
I'm still tweeting?
Oh, I don't mean tweets, sorry,that can get fucked.
if you tweet about us, with thehashtag Dear A1 sauce, please
send some of your A1 sauce toSam from the really good
podcast, Chat out of Hell.
I hate you.
But if you do Instagram or BlueSky or Facebook or whatever with
the hashtag Dear please sendsome of your A1 sauce to Sam
from the really good podcastChat out of Hell.
That would be lovely.
(07:47):
It gets the message across,doesn't it?
Emma (07:49):
It probably does
Sam (07:51):
Should we do the podcast?
So we're not actually a podcastabout emailing sauce companies
in the hope of free sauce everyepisode on this show, we each
bring a Meat Loaf or JimSteinman song to the table for
us to listen to, discuss, tearapart, make stupid jokes about,
Have a good time and then gohome again, right?
and then at the end we'll rateit on our patented Meat Loaf or
(08:13):
Jim Steinman rating scales.
Emma, what have you brought tolisten to I have brought another
one of my favourites from, BatOut of Hell 2.
I've brought the gloriouslystupid Everything Louder Than
Everything Else.
A paradox and a song.
And I've brought a song from JimSteinman's solo album Bad For
Good, Dance In My
Emma (08:34):
which is an amazing
Sam (08:35):
title.
It is an amazing title for afucking stupid song.
So listen, I think you'regenuinely going to have a good
time listening to both of thesesongs because they are utterly
ridiculous.
Go away, find them on YouTube,on Spotify, find them on a tape,
wherever you get your musicfrom.
start with everything louderthan everything else, we're
going to listen to it right nowand we'll see you in just a few
(08:56):
minutes.
Laptop (08:56):
I like the music like I
like the music Everything louder
than, everything else,everything louder than,
everything else, nothing louderthan, everything else, louder
Sam (09:16):
we've just listened to
Everything Louder Than
Everything Else.
And so have you.
Emma, tell us about that.
Emma (09:23):
Everything Louder Than
Everything Else, released in
1993, is one of the album trackson Bat Out of Hell 2, one of the
few totally original songs forthis album.
Okay.
so it wasn't recycled fromanything else that Jim Steinman
had previously done.
As far as I know,
Sam (09:38):
can we, just quickly cut to
the chase?
Did anybody say anything aboutwhy those bagpipes are there?
Emma (09:44):
I haven't found anything.
I'm trying to find out who didit.
Sam (09:49):
Because, if you gave up or
didn't listen to all of that
song A.
I hate you but also B.
The song finishes and then weget 20 seconds of bagpipe music
at the end.
Emma (10:02):
is just
Sam (10:04):
Madness! It's a classic Jim
Steinman fadeout on the main
song and then it fades up onsome bagpipers.
So the effect is, Meat Loafoverran his studio time and the
Scottish Highland Band have tocome in and record their album
Emma (10:17):
album
Sam (10:19):
And they forgot to stop the
tape.
Emma (10:20):
I am currently just trying
to, find out who did the
bagpipes and if it was realPipes or not.
Did you play Bagpipes for MeatLoaf?
Get in
Sam (10:28):
touch! Yeah, chatoutofhell
at gmail.
com.
Maybe you work for A1 sauce now.
Emma (10:32):
Alright, so Ha ha ha ha
ha.
Alright, so
Sam (10:35):
the mystery of the
bagpipes, we'll return to the
mystery of the
Emma (10:37):
bagpipes It could be
another one of the Sam Wilkinson
Sam (10:39):
No, get your own mysteries,
this is a Crossland mystery.
Don't put your lack of homeworkonto me! It
Emma (10:45):
me.
It really tells this week.
I did find some stuff outthough.
Yeah, tell us.
this particular song was used onthe soundtrack to the Adam
Sandler movie, That's My Boy.
A film so good that it wasnominated for seven Razzies and
(11:06):
it won two of them.
Adam Sandler for Worst Actor andalso for Worst Screenplay.
Sam (11:12):
That's amazing.
What year did That's My Boy comeout?
And what's the plot of That's MyBoy, Emma?
fuck's sake.
Oh, fine.
We'll move
Emma (11:22):
No, No, no, I did look
into it and the plot just
sounded terrible.
if I say Donnie is an alcoholicand broke slacker who owes 43,
000 to the Internal RevenueService in back taxes.
Does that make you want to watchit?
Sam (11:40):
scene in which this song
features is gonna be Adam
Sandler in his apartmentignoring the letter from the IRS
and doing something man childish like turning a vase into a
bong, or throwing empty beercans on the floor.
Emma (11:58):
And just reading another
sentence about it.
However, Donnie feels guilty forwithholding the truth and
interrupts the wedding just intime to reveal his biological
connection to Todd and demandsJamie to reveal her infidelity
and incest.
Sam (12:14):
Right!
Emma (12:14):
the words that I wrote at
the bottom of this was, I have
decided not to watch this film.
Ha ha I know we've not been deadpicky for Film Club, but I think
this is one we can give it a
Sam (12:25):
Yeah, fair enough.
But if you have seen the AdamSandler film That's My Boy,
please do email us in and let usknow your opinions.
chat out of hell at gmail.
com.
Emma (12:33):
in 1991, so before this
album was released, Motorhead
released a live video calledEverything Louder Than
Everything Else.
and in 1999, they released analbum called Everything Louder
Than Everyone Else.
Sam (12:50):
Those cheeky scamps! Cheeky
Emma (12:53):
I reckon I know why.
Sam (12:54):
Hit me.
Emma (12:55):
I did do some homework.
it refers to a remark that wasmade by Ian Gillen of Deep
Purple.
from the group's Made in Japanlive album, where at some point,
he says Could we have everythinglouder than everything else?
Sam (13:10):
No, no, Ian, you can't.
Emma (13:12):
Because that's not
possible.
Sam (13:13):
You've taken too many rock
and roll drugs.
Emma (13:15):
Can we have some rock and
roll drugs?
Sam (13:19):
you want some rock and roll
drugs?
Emma (13:21):
I need something to pep me
up a bit
Sam (13:22):
all right, fair enough.
if you have rock and roll drugsand you want to send them to
Emma, just drop us an emailchatoutofhell.
com I'm bothered that two loudinstitutions off the back of
that third loud rockinginstitution of Deep Purple have
all missed the physicalimpossibility of this request.
Emma (13:41):
But it does smack of rock
And roll indulgence,
Sam (13:44):
It does, yes.
I can get behind that.
It's a loud, silly song aboutbeing loud and stupid, and
that's good.
Emma (13:50):
And speaking of which, I
think we should actually delve
into the lyrics, Because they
Sam (13:54):
are very
Emma (13:54):
stupid.
Sam (13:55):
the opening line, I know
that I will never be politically
correct, and I don't give a damnabout my lack of etiquette.
I
Emma (14:02):
something that became more
and more evident as time went on
with Meat Loaf and indeed Jim
Sam (14:05):
who am I?
Why am I here?
Forget the questions, someonegive me another beer! Give me
another beer is the sort ofthing that kids who aren't old
enough to drink beer think thatadults say to each other.
You cannot help but hear it inthe voice of Gog, the guy in
Peep Show that Jeremy used tobully in school now owns a
software company.
Emma (14:24):
a
Sam (14:25):
beer?
Emma (14:27):
what's the meaning of
life?
What's the meaning of it all?
You've got to learn to dancebefore you learn to crawl.
do you think it is the answer tothe meaning of life?
Dancing?
Sam (14:37):
crawling.
Before crawling.
And if you don't succeed inhitting it in that order, you've
fucked it.
From the very off.
Emma (14:44):
In which case, I probably
fucked
Sam (14:46):
it.
Yeah, I imagine most babies havefucked it.
Emma (14:50):
Good, good.
So sign up all you raw recruits.
This is very, the whole song isvery much a call to arms,
Sam (14:58):
Yeah, Yeah, join my army of
cool young people, stop getting
a job and come do a party.
Emma (15:04):
takes you back to streets
of fire.
Sam (15:06):
Yeah, it does take us back,
but I think we have to loop back
to, this was a song written forthe album, Meat Loaf is 43.
Emma (15:13):
Yes.
Sam (15:14):
Stop telling young people
to not get jobs and come party
with you because it's creepy,old man.
Emma (15:22):
Throw away those designer
suits.
They're expensive, give them toa charity You got your weapons
cocked, your targets in yoursights.
Does he mean penises?
I think I've always thoughtthat.
I think
Sam (15:34):
shit.
Emma (15:35):
think we're back to
Sam (15:36):
Okay.
Emma (15:37):
again.
Yeah, back to sex people.
Back to
Sam (15:39):
to sex people.
Back
Emma (15:41):
a party raging somewhere
in the world, and you've got to
take your penis to the Becauseyou've got to serve your country
and you've got to service yourgirl.
Sam (15:52):
Now is that two separate
things, or is servicing your
girl part of your nationalservice
Emma (15:57):
in whatever country exists
in Steinman and Meat Loaf's
head, I think it is part of yourduty to service your girl.
Yeah.
Sam (16:05):
Okay, all check your girl's
manual.
Most girls have a serviceinterval of 10, 000 miles or
every year depending on whatcomes first.
Emma (16:13):
I made the same joke in my
notes.
Sam (16:15):
That's Crossland and
Wilkinson, Mean Business, at the
Nottingham Comedy Festival.
Emma (16:19):
Make sure that you check
her brakes regularly as well.
Okay.
Okay.
Cool.
But stay away from that exhaustpipe!
Sam (16:30):
That's why A1 sauce can't
see any videos of your material.
Emma (16:34):
I was pleased with that.
Sam (16:41):
right,
Emma (16:41):
and of course they are all
enlisted in the armies of the
night.
Sorry, what were you going tosay?
I gonna say keep your girl oiledbut We're better than that?
Sam (16:49):
Are we
Emma (16:49):
no no we're not.
you're only listed in the armiesof the night, which just makes
me think of, blokes going andplaying at TA stuff.
Sam (16:59):
Oh, I'm glad you like that.
Army Reserves! Yes, do you knowwhat, I've never seen past the
obvious vampire allegory, butyou're right.
It's part time
Emma (17:10):
Yep, part time army.
TA, they're Out on manoeuvres,playing with torches.
That's the army of the
Sam (17:17):
in Spaced.
Emma (17:18):
Spaced.
Like Mike, exactly like Mike inSpaced.
Sam (17:21):
Big roly poly men with
moustaches
Emma (17:23):
Yep.
Sam (17:23):
and corrective lenses.
Emma (17:29):
next we get a list of
things that Meat Loaf isn't in
it for.
Yeah.
So it's power, health, glory ofanything at all, wealth.
Sam (17:41):
To be fair, he didn't get
any of those up until this No,
no enough.
but he is in it till it's over,
Emma (17:48):
and he
Sam (17:48):
just can't stop.
that's because he's in it tillit's over.
Emma (17:52):
till it's over.
Yes, stating the obvious really,isn't it?
Yeah.
and if you want to get it done,you've got to do it yourself,
which, as
Sam (17:58):
this back to servicing
girls?
Emma (18:01):
and I like my music like I
like my life, everything louder
than everything else, whichgives me a headache just
thinking about it.
Sam (18:09):
Steinman likes his music
like he likes his life, long.
Emma (18:14):
Aww.
Long but quite repetitive.
Sam (18:18):
Long confusing, Sometimes
make people angry.
Emma (18:24):
and then we say everything
louder than everything else
quite a lot of times before westart chanting wasted youth
again.
Sam (18:30):
And again, Meat Loaf is 43.
His youth was wasted a long timeago.
Now he's just shouting at kidsgoing out getting jobs.
Emma (18:38):
if you want my views of
history, there's something you
should know.
The three men I admire most areCurly, Larry and Moe.
So that's the Three stooges,
Sam (18:47):
that is a classic teenage
boy I'm so edgy line, isn't
Yeah.
man.
Fucking old men ruining theworld.
The only person who's doneanything good was a clown,
Emma (18:59):
Yeah, man.
Don't worry about the future.
Sooner or later, it's the past.
Sam (19:05):
This is real sixth form
common room stuff, isn't it?
Emma (19:07):
also, it's true,
Sam (19:09):
Yeah?
Because
Emma (19:09):
the linear march of time.
If they say the thrill is gone,then it's time to take it back.
Take what?
What?
we're back to raw recruits, andthis time it's 2 bit suits
instead of designer suits.
Sam (19:23):
so what's happened there
is, well the future has become
the past, and the people goingout getting jobs in designer
suits followed Meat Loaf'sadvice.
Emma (19:34):
Got rid of them.
Sam (19:35):
Still realised they needed
a suit for work so they got a
two bit suit.
So Meat Loaf is starting a culthere, is going on.
And his commandments arebecoming ever more insane.
Emma (19:47):
But we're still back to
cocking weapons and servicing
Sam (19:50):
Yeah, because cults end
badly and dangerously with a
raid by the FBI.
Emma (19:56):
also, weirdly Cult leaders
seem to attract a lot of women
to be
Sam (20:01):
to be serviced.
serviced.
Yeah.
That's all true.
Emma (20:04):
I think I've just had my
feminist card taken off me.
Sam (20:06):
You didn't say it was a
good thing.
Emma (20:09):
True,
Sam (20:10):
She did imply it though,
listeners.
In the edit that I just did.
Emma (20:15):
did.
Thank you.
And then it's just morerepetition to the end I think
everything louder thaneverything else is chanted 24
times at the
Sam (20:25):
Okay.
until the in.
and then the bagpipes come in.
So are the bagpipes, the fBI?
Is that what this is?
This is the tale of Meat Loaf'smountain Top Cult.
Emma (20:35):
Well isn't that one of the
techniques that, agencies have
used in the past?
Sam (20:39):
blasting, blasting, awful
Emma (20:40):
Blasting awful music.
off the situation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've read, The men who stare atgoats as well.
Sam (20:44):
Oh yeah, that's where that
came from If you are a bagpipe
player, we do apologise.
I quite like a bit of bagpipesnow and then.
I mean, I wouldn't actively goout and choose to listen to it,
but but if you're on the RoyalMile, it's lovely, isn't innit?
Emma (20:57):
Oh yeah, that's nice It's
about context isn't it?
it
Sam (21:00):
Or at the front of a
Scottish regiment marching into
a Napoleonic war.
can see that works perfectly.
I'm on board.
Emma (21:09):
Q magazine, has declared
Everything Louder Than
Everything Else to be one of thesongs that made the rest of Rock
cower.
Sam (21:16):
The fuck?
Q Magazine?
Emma (21:18):
Are
Sam (21:20):
Are Q Magazine still going?
idiots.
Was that David Quantic again?
One of the songs that made rockand roll cower?
Was that the
Emma (21:30):
one of the songs that made
the rest of rock cower.
Sam (21:35):
Maybe back in
Emma (21:37):
back in 1993 it did.
And then Rock pulled its socksup and cracked on.
and then New Metal was born And,we all got sad.
Sam (21:45):
Oh, oh that is a,
believable timeline.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They threw away their designersuits.
New Metal instead.
Emma (21:55):
the 90s.
The 90s.
I have another, review, which Ifound on, a website called past
prime website by a guy calledSteve Collins.
and he says Everything LouderThan Everything Else is an
ecstatic tribute to givingeverything you've got.
Meat Loaf has collapsed multipletimes on the stage doing just
that.
(22:15):
He has all of Springsteen'spassion without the personal
trainer.
Everything Louder could be amission statement for the past
prime artist.
Sam (22:24):
Okay, right, I'll accept
the thesis.
Mission statement from MeatLoaf, fine, he likes things
loud.
Springsteen without the personaltrainer.
He could have had a personaltrainer he'd wanted.
Don't make out that this issome, personal attribute that
Springsteen had love meat Loafwas never able to acheive
Emma (22:46):
Would you like to hear
what the people of the internet
think of this song?
Sam (22:50):
would love to hear the
people of the internet's
thoughts.
Emma (22:52):
Vane Eldritch said, This
is the song that made the rest
of rock and roll afraid.
Sam (22:59):
Does Fane Eldritch write
for q Magazine?
I
Emma (23:02):
that! FalzerBeast90 said,
Fucking rock the fuck on, woo!
Sam (23:09):
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Emma (23:11):
Which is about the
intelligence level I think this
song deserves.
LionessWhispers said, What can Isay?
It's the basic catchphrase ofrock in every generation.
Live fast and hard, die young,leave a beautiful corpse.
Sam (23:27):
He did one of those three
things.
Emma (23:33):
finally, LivingHell, said,
I fucking love this song and the
old fat man singing it.
Sam (23:39):
ha ha ha!
Emma (23:41):
know what,
Sam (23:41):
what, I completely agree.
Emma (23:42):
Yep.
I fucking
Sam (23:43):
love this song and the old
fat man singing What a great way
to end.
So, shall we rate this song?
Yes.
Are you ready?
Cool, so as always Emma, we ratethis on our patented trademarked
Jim Steinman song rating scalewhich runs from Jim Steinman at
the top to Jim Fineman in themiddle and Jim Declineman for
those bad songs that he wrote.
(24:04):
But what is this?
Emma (24:06):
despite the fact that
we've just spent however long
pulling it to pieces andslagging it off, for
Sam (24:11):
off,
Emma (24:11):
this is always going to be
a Jim
Sam (24:13):
I'm always going to enjoy
listening to this shouting along
in the car,
Emma (24:17):
so
Sam (24:17):
I agree.
This is always going to be a JimSteinman!
Emma (24:21):
Woo! I thought I'd joined
in.
Ooh.
I thought I'd joined in thistime.
good.
Yeah.
Sam (24:27):
Right.
I might sample that woo and putit in at some other time.
LAUGHS Good!
Emma (24:34):
So, Sam, what have you
brought?
Sam (24:35):
I brought Dance In My
Pants, which is a song from Jim
steinman's solo album.
Emma (24:40):
It sounds like quite an
uncomfortable condition as well.
Sam (24:43):
You wait till you see the
video, mate.
listeners, if you have anychance of watching the music
video for this, out of all themusic videos we're ever going to
discuss, I think this is the onethat deserves it the most.
It is utterly ludicrous, so dofind it on YouTube if you can.
If not, put it on on Spotify.
We'll see you in a bit.
Um, quite a lot of minutes.
Laptop (25:04):
Time I see the glory of
a good looking face, well, I
just gotta say, Hey now, don'tyou worry, that thing will be
fine! We
Emma (25:25):
So.
Many.
Sam (25:26):
Ha
Emma (25:27):
Fucking
Sam (25:28):
I'll I'll just give you a
moment to absorb that 1981 on
the Bad For Good album.
Jim Steinman's solo album.
it's a duet with Karla DeVito.
who You may remember fromappearing in the video for
Paradise by the Dashboardlights.
Emma (25:42):
Karla DeVito does quite a
lot of work with Steinman and
Meat Loaf
Sam (25:44):
She does, yeah, she does
some stuff later on.
She appears on the final album
Emma (25:48):
as well.
Sam (25:49):
She does a duet there.
Karla also did a couple of soloalbums.
her biggest hit seems to be abouncy 80s pop number called
Cool World, which isirritatingly catchy despite
being rubbish.
This song's quite a hefty one,as you'll have just noticed.
It checks in at 7 minutes 58.
that's 2 minutes 55 secondslonger than scatman's Gibba bop
ba dibba bop by Scatman John.
Is that this time, or?
(26:09):
Yes it, well, wait and see,There might be another one.
on the length of Jim's songs, Ido have a quote here.
Okay.
"When people say my songs aretoo long, I tell them I spent my
life listening to six hourGerman operas, for Christ's
sakes.
I mean, six minutes to me isjust an idea, right?
It's nothing.
no time at all to get acrosswhat you're really trying to do.
Ha, ha, ha.
Emma (26:32):
That sums it up
beautifully! Wow!
Sam (26:37):
The theme of the song.
Is that the lady wants to danceand the man doesn't want to
dance.
He just wants to love Hey,listen now it's coming so close.
I'll let the rhythm surround me.
I'm getting itchy and I'm readyto move I'm mighty glad that you
found me
Emma (26:53):
Oh!
Sam (26:55):
There's a drummer going at
it way down in the core of my
soul There's no escaping themusic and I'm psyching up my
feet and they're telling mewe're ready to roll
Emma (27:04):
I she's ready to dance but
also she does sound quite horny.
Sam (27:10):
This is quite a confused
analogy, because yes, dancing is
clearly a metaphor for doing it.
Yeah.
Emma (27:16):
But
Sam (27:17):
also the male character
when he comes in.
His line is, I'm a lover not adancer, I'm a lover not a
dancer, don't want to be on myfeet when I can be on my back,
don't want to be on the floorwhen I can be in the
Emma (27:29):
So
Sam (27:32):
So they're both horny,
Emma (27:34):
But
Sam (27:34):
but operating on different
analogy levels.
Emma (27:38):
They don't quite.
Yeah.
Sam (27:41):
I don't care what you say,
ain't nothing gonna get me out
on that floor.
Oh baby, you know, there may besome moves that you haven't even
seen yet.
No way Jose.
And I think more rock songsshould feature the
Emma (27:54):
No way,
Sam (27:55):
Jose! The second act
concludes with her saying, I've
got a new step for you.
I've made it up all by myself.
I bet you've never even triedthis before.
And then we're treated to JimSteinman saying, oh,
Emma (28:09):
geez!
Sam (28:10):
three or four times.
Which
Emma (28:12):
Which is, I think, one of
the least erotic
Sam (28:15):
things I've ever heard.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, jeez.
so we get bit of that and thenthe final act is the two of
them.
dancing She says now that youknow how it's done It's only a
matter of practice and he sayswell, I could sure use some of
that practice And then the lyricis grow grow grow grow
Emma (28:40):
Grow
Sam (28:41):
grow grow grow.
Emma (28:42):
grow.
Sam (28:43):
I've got dance in my pants
Emma (28:46):
Oh!
Sam (28:47):
of dance that is, Emma.
We do.
Emma (28:50):
Dirty Jim.
Dirty boy.
Sam (28:54):
I don't know how often Jim
Steinman got laid, Emma.
Emma (28:58):
Well, there's very little
about his love life, yeah.
Sam (29:01):
Yeah.
certainly seems quite frustratedat times.
Emma (29:04):
I feel like he probably
needed to get laid a little bit
more.
perhaps if he stopped writingsuch fucking weird songs.
LAUGHTER SIGHS
Sam (29:12):
ha, in academic terms, it's
a classic
Emma (29:16):
we getting our, Steinman
phD?
Sam (29:19):
thematically it's a classic
steinman.
yes.
It's a multi act structure.
It's about eternal teenagerswanting to do it, and then doing
it.
I want to talk a bit more aboutwhy Jim sang this record.
We've previously discussed that,after the Bat Out of Hell tour,
(29:39):
Meat Loaf's voice was all fuckedup and that.
Yeah.
And he couldn't sing, so JimSteinman stepped in to sing it
himself.
In Jim's own words.
Meat Loaf had a mental block onthe new songs.
I was trying to get them to resthis voice, this great
instrument, which they weremaking do a show a night, like a
bar band singer.
What happened was he abused hisvoice on the road.
Technically he has a lot more incommon with an opera singer.
(30:00):
Enormous lung power.
And people with voices like thatusually don't sing extended
tours.
That's fair enough.
the end his voice was prettymuch shot.
It was partly a physical problembut it became psychological
because it freaked him out thathis voice wasn't there.
"I think the voice is a prettymysterious thing anyway.
We started in Woodstock doingthis album, which started out to
be his, and he tried singingsome of the tracks right there
(30:22):
at the piano, and the soundsthat were coming out were really
inhuman.
At at the time, I described itas sounding like in The
exorcist.
Emma (30:29):
God.
Sam (30:30):
Jim as, delicate as ever
with his friends.
Emma (30:33):
He's a sensitive soul.
Sam (30:35):
"Springsteen's manager,
suggested this guy in California
who'd worked with Jackson Brownand Bonnie Raitt.
He's not a doctor of any kind,he's sort of like a witch
doctor.
This guy's treatment is, heinjects you with your own urine
and then beats the shit out ofyou.
He had Black Decker power tools,huge saws, axes, he puts rubber
(30:57):
pads on your body and pounds forlike three hours and you scream.
I can't imagine Jackson Browngoing through this.
He never wants to hear anysinging.
He just wants you to yell whileyou're being beaten up.
"This went on for like threemonths and the difference is
amazing.
God knows why it works, but hisvoice has improved a thousand
percent because of it"
Emma (31:18):
so you know how I'm,
underemployed at the moment.
Do you think I could set up as aquack like that?
Sam (31:23):
Well, Oasis have just
reformed, as we record.
Yeah, they're going to need somevocal coaching.
They are going to need somevocal coaching.
And I think you would love tohit Noel and Liam Gallagher
around the face for three hours.
Emma (31:33):
I have got a lovely mallet
in the garage.
Sam (31:36):
garage.
There we.
go.
So any singers out there whohave bad voices My rates Yeah,
do drop Emma a line.
chatoutofhell@gmail com
Emma (31:46):
I I think we have to talk
about the video.
As I was watching it just now,particularly the beginning part
of the video, all I could thinkwas, has Jim been at the David
Lynch?
the opening scene, before thesong starts, Jim himself walks
into a weird carnival type
Sam (32:03):
It's, a sort of carnival
slash peep show.
Emma (32:07):
it's an arcade, isn't it
Sam (32:08):
I think this is supposed to
be Times Square in the early 80s
when it was a horrible, dingyplace.
there's a guy on a megaphonesaying, come see Little Bo Peep,
the sexiest peep show dancer intown,
Emma (32:20):
etc.
That's creepy as anything.
And so he wanders through peopleplaying pinball.
And finally approaches, aterrifying woman.
Sam (32:27):
Yeah.
Emma (32:28):
She's really scary.
Sam (32:30):
That terrifying woman was
acclaimed New York cabaret
singer Baby Jane Dexter Ascabaret singers go, she's really
good.
She's got quite a set of lungson her.
She had a fascinating career.
In 1981, she quit singing for ashort break, which turned into a
10 year
Emma (32:45):
1981
Sam (32:45):
1981 was when she filmed
this video.
Just saying.
Just saying.
Emma (32:50):
Unrelated! he pays her
money to go into the peep show.
where he then has to put moremoney
Sam (32:58):
more YEah
Emma (32:58):
What a swizz.
Laughter
Sam (33:00):
ha ha ha ha!
Emma (33:02):
That's all I could think.
And then the screen comes downAnd he watches a woman prance
around pretending to be LittleBo Peep with a plastic sheep.
For a bit.
Yeah.
And
Sam (33:16):
She
Emma (33:16):
sings the song.
And then there's a transitionfor some reason.
Sam (33:20):
We go through a series of
transitions.
Yeah.
She goes for about eight costumechanges.
Gosh.
and it becomes a kind ofnightclub for a bit.
Emma (33:28):
bit.
Yeah, because to start with,there's a whole bunch of
different guys peeping throughwindows, perving on Little Bo
Peep and her lost sheep.
but then suddenly Jim is in the
Sam (33:39):
Yeah, Jim's in the action,
he's in a disco.
The best bit happens.
On the, I'm a lover not adancer, I'm a lover not a dancer
line,
Emma (33:46):
we
Sam (33:46):
have a shot of Jim.
At a bar, having drinks shoveddown, slid down the bar towards
Emma (33:53):
sort of, yeah,
Sam (33:54):
film But every time a drink
comes down towards him, he picks
it up and then looks scared anddrops it.
So them Yeah! He Yes! Why notjust let past?
He like, he absentmindedlycatches them as well and sees
what's in his hand and thendrops it.
Emma (34:09):
It's so weird.
Sam (34:09):
and there's a cartoon sound
effect that's like, Bwaaaap!
Emma (34:12):
Every time
Sam (34:13):
the It's amazing.
Emma (34:15):
I don't understand any of
that.
I don't I studied film andtelevision university and we
talked about all kinds of reallywanky things like mise en scene
and all of that kind of an ultradeep analysis of the set of a
film and stuff.
in the, few minutes that we'vebeen talking, I've attempted to
apply that to that scene, allthat knowledge, and I still got
(34:38):
nothing.
What the fuck does that mean?
Sam (34:40):
It's the first part of the
hero's journey, it's what's it
called?
Denying?
Turning down the call.
call.
Yeah.
Turn it
Emma (34:47):
down before you can accept
it.
Exactly, yeah.
For the hero's
Sam (34:50):
yeah,
Emma (34:51):
so Throwing the drinks
away is turning down.
hero's journey.
Well, if he drinks the drinks,he might lose his inhibitions
and then start to dance, andhe's determined not to dance.
Sam (34:59):
Of course!
Emma (34:59):
Oh,
Sam (35:01):
Thank you, Emma.
Emma (35:02):
she entices him with the
ideas of her new move
Sam (35:06):
and her new move is
spinning round and round round
really fast.
The sexiest move.
anybody listening is single andis out at a disco or
Emma (35:16):
or
Sam (35:16):
a nightclub, wants to
seduce somebody,
Emma (35:19):
spinning around
Sam (35:20):
and round and round in
front of them.
Emma (35:22):
Really fast
Sam (35:23):
that's the Jim Steinman
guarantee.
Emma (35:25):
absolutely won't throw up
everywhere.
Sam (35:29):
I found Jim's, four page
treatment for this video, you
Remember the,, scary lady at thebeginning The description of the
lady.
She leers and then laughsuproariously, the laugh building
and building like a hugepressurised outpouring of steam.
She's like an hysterical Thishuge laugh reaches an absurd
peak and then suddenly,instantly stops.
She stares at Jim, tough,defiant, demanding.
(35:51):
Well, what's so funny?
She barks, and then retreatsinto the primoidal ooze from
which she came.
Emma (35:58):
that's Jim's notes.
I can imagine the actualshooting script.
It just says, laugh.
Sam (36:02):
Yeah.
Karla DeVito's costume changes.
"In this song, Karla is reallythe ultimate diva, a star of
such magnitude that every minuteor so she's in a new costume, a
totally new look.
Dietrich, Monroe, Clara Bow,Lana Turner, Joan Crawford,
Janis Joplin, Diana Ross, CarmenMiranda, Pat Benatar, Anne
Margaret, Mae West, Harlow, evenKali, the Indian goddess with
(36:23):
about eight arms constantlymoving.
"Maybe even the Statue ofLiberty, which really should
resemble Anne Miller." I counted20 different costumes there.
video itself cuts that down toabout eight.
Emma (36:34):
which is still a lot.
Sam (36:35):
me, yes.
The dance hall scene, the wholescene should probably end up
resembling a mixture of SaturdayNight Fever, The milk bar where
the Droogs in A Clockwork Orangehang out, the dance in the gym
from West Side Story, andsomething out of a musical
version of Star Wars with morethan a dash of Mardi Gras."
board.
Yeah, but also, that sceneabsolutely ticks all those
(36:58):
boxes.
So, well done to whoever thatdirector was.
And I tried to find out, butnobody wants to take credit.
Emma (37:04):
name to it.
Sam (37:05):
the whirlwind.
She becomes like a humantornado, a whirling dervish
possessed and out of control.
She whips around the room in aswirling cloud.
We don't even see her, just thecommotion this tornado is
causing, as in a cartoon.
"When she whirls by, by tablesand chairs, bottles and people
go flying from the force of thewind she is creating.
Jim stands huddled with a groupover to one side, everybody
(37:26):
clutching each other forprotection against the wind.
When Karla finally reaches them,the tornado finally comes to an
abrupt halt, and she aims aprecise and perfectly executed
pelvic bump right at them.
"They go flying and or faintdead away".
Emma (37:42):
And again, on the shooting
script, it just says, spins.
Sam (37:45):
round.
Emma (37:48):
Oh Jim! He's such a little
weirdo!
Sam (37:52):
We get the final third of
them dancing forever, dancing
forever, dancing on the edge ofa grave, and that takes the form
of a kind of gospel church feel.
Emma (37:59):
Yeah.
Sam (38:00):
And then, and I do love
this, The song ends because
Jim's quarter has finally runout of the peep show, and he
puts in another quarter and it'sthe scary lady again!
Emma (38:11):
Which again is very David
Lynch
Sam (38:14):
it's very david lynch.
It's very bad business sense
Emma (38:16):
Oh, Terrible.
can we talk about Jim's dancing?
When, It's obvious that it's nothim.
They make it very, very,obvious.
the way that he uses his gloveshis hat hair face face.
Of course, in a number ofincredibly unsubtle ways.
You know, when you get, Thosecharity calendars.
I'm thinking calendar girls kindof thing.
(38:36):
it's placed taste
Sam (38:38):
cake hiding the boobs or
Emma (38:39):
whatever.
Yes.
That kind of thing.
It felt like bordering on
Sam (38:43):
that level You are quite
right.
Did you watch Eurovision thisyear?
there was one act, I'veforgotten his name, I think it
was called Windows 95 man.
He wore a Windows 95 t shirt,and nothing underneath.
And the entire staging was, hisbits being kind of blocked by a
cameraman, or, a bottle on atable or something.
Emma (39:04):
How have I not heard about
this yet?
Oh my god!
Sam (39:06):
Yeah, but it was very That,
that, tradition continues to
this day.
Emma (39:10):
and I'm all for it.
Sam (39:11):
the song was fucking stupid
as well.
Okay.
um,
Emma (39:14):
Eurovision happened while
I was in Florida.
having spent a fortune on theholiday, we thought we probably
shouldn't spend too much timesitting around the hotel
watching tV.
Yeah, We did watch quite a lotof Traitors, though.
The American Traitors.
The American Traitors.
Sam (39:27):
yeah.
It
Emma (39:27):
was still pretty
Sam (39:29):
watchable.
Yeah.
Was that the one with um Alancumming.
No, but, Yes, with alan
Emma (39:35):
Yeah.
Sam (39:35):
with
Emma (39:37):
I know who you're gonna
say and I can't remember his
name either.
Sam (39:39):
his name If you can
remember the name of the man.
We could look it up, but we wantyou
Emma (39:43):
to email us, so do
Sam (39:44):
his name to
chatoutofhell@gmail.com
Emma (39:50):
Good.
Sam (39:51):
I think it's quiz
Emma (39:53):
I was anticipating quiz
time.
Sam (39:55):
I've gone back to basics
for this one.
Emma (39:56):
Good.
Sam (39:57):
Meat Loaf quotes, one of
which is not a Meat Loaf quote.
A, in the early 90s Meat Loafsaid,"a psychic told me that Jim
has written his best stuffalready and he'll never write
like that again." Is it B, onJim's explanation about why Meat
Loaf couldn't record the albumthat we just talked about?
Yeah, I had a mental block, butnot the kind of block you're
(40:19):
talking about.
My block was because Bad ForGood was trying to be a copy of
Bat Out Of Hell, Dance In MyPants was trying to be a copy of
Paradise By The Dashboard Light,and Lost Boys And Golden Girls
was trying to be a copy ofHeaven Can Wait".
Didn't like it, thought it wasrubbish.
Or was it C?
He was quite Dismissive of JimSteinman's singing voice,
describing it as sounding like"Ihave to go to the bathroom".
(40:44):
So which one of those was not agenuine Meat Loaf quote?
Emma (40:47):
Uh, I think number three.
Sam (40:50):
You are correct, that was
not a Meat Loaf quote.
That was a description of JimSteinman's voice though, that
was from the drummer MaxWeinberg, who drummed on Bad For
Good.
Max Weinberg most widely knownas the bandleader for Conan
O'Brien on Late Night with ConanO'Brien.
You know, when he has littlebants with Max.
that's Max Weinberg, thedrummer.
Jim Steinman described his ownsinging voice as, always liked
(41:11):
singing more than writing, heconfesses.
the songs to Meat Loaf.
He became my voice.
I used to sing Doors and StonesRockers in 1972.
My voice is edgier and there's adifferent texture to it.
Max Weinberg describes it assounding like I have to go to
the bathroom." So, he's veryfair in describing the
criticism.
edgier and there's a differenttexture to it.
(41:33):
I think Max is closer
Emma (41:35):
I think so.
Sam (41:36):
What do the people think,
Emma?
Emma (41:38):
I like to know what the
people think.
Sam (41:39):
Think.
BruceLuber5178 Only Jim Steinmancan take a three minute homage
to Chuck Berry songs and makeyou spend seven minutes
listening to it.
Emma (41:52):
That's exactly right,
isn't it?
is perfect.
Sam (41:55):
At, un, un, un, jim is felt
whenever our pants, or whatever
tingles and stirs down in thatcrevice, lets the sun shine in.
Amen.
Yeah, grim.
2.
Emma (42:08):
the Second
Sam (42:09):
Agamemnon.
Disappointing sequel, I think.
In a career marked by bombasticexcesses and unforgettable hits,
Dance In My Pants has the raredistinction of being Jim
Steinman's worst song by aconsiderable margin.
Agamemnon II, you blessed naivechild.
Emma (42:29):
If only,
Sam (42:30):
seen nothing yet, pal.
he knew we rate this song?
Yes.
So we are once again using ourpatented, trademarked Jim
Steinman song rating song scale.
Song scale, scale, song, songscale.
So is this Jim Steinman, JimFineman, or Jim Declineman?
Emma (42:48):
For me it's a Jim Fineman.
it's got a lot of classic JimSteinman tropes to it.
But Meat Loaf's right, it isjust Paradise by the Dashboard
Sam (42:56):
You're right, and on the
grounds that Paradise by the
Dashboard Lights is a betterversion of Paradise by the
Dashboard Lights, let's filethis under Jim Fineman?
Emma (43:06):
Yeah,
Sam (43:06):
Jim Fineman! Thank you all
for listening to Chat Out Of
Hell.
If you have enjoyed ourcommentary, if you'd like to add
something, if you want todisagree vehemently with our
ratings, do drop us an email,chatoutofhellatgmail.
com.
If you want to suggest somesongs for us to discuss, please
do do that.
This one was always going tohappen, but this happened
because we got an email a coupleof weeks ago for somebody
(43:28):
requesting it.
If you've got a Meat Loaf or aSteinman song that you want to
inflict on us, drop us a line.
did you play bagpipes onEverything Louder Than
everything Else?
Do let us know,chatoutofhellatgmail.
com.
Do you want to send Emma somerock'n'roll drugs?
chatoutofhellatgmail.
com.
Have you seen the Adam Sandlerfilm That's My Boy?
And how shit was it?
chatoutofhellatgmail.
com.
And what was the name of thatbloke that we can't remember
(43:49):
from the US Traitors?
ChatOutOfHell at gmail.
com.
Don't forget to follow us onsocial media, search for
ChatOutOfHell on Facebook and atChatOutOfHell on Instagram.
Use the hashtag, DearA1Sauce,please send some of your A1
sauce to Sam from the reallygood podcast ChatOutOfHell.
Emma, what songs are we
Emma (44:06):
gonna bring next time?
Sam (44:07):
I
Emma (44:07):
just wanted to say I'm
really glad that you're keeping
a note of all of these calls.
I thought I'd do a bit of anexperiment next time, because
despite being, reasonable MeatLoaf fan, I haven't heard
everything, there are entirealbums that I haven't heard.
and one of the albums that I'venever listened to is 1986's
Blind Before I Stop.
Sam (44:26):
That's a wanking reference,
right?
Emma (44:28):
I assume so.
So I thought I'd pick one of thesingles from Blind Before I
Stop.
I'm going to go with the firstsingle that was released which
is Rock and Roll Mercenaries.
Sam (44:38):
That sounds like it's
either going to be incredible or
shit.
Emma (44:42):
I can't wait to find out.
Sam (44:44):
I've actually also decided
to go back to form.
I've mucked about in the JimSteinman doing other stuff pool
for a few episodes.
So I'm going to go back to myoriginal quest which was working
through the first album.
We're going to do Heaven CanWait.
let us know what you think aboutthose songs, chatoutofhell.
gmail.
com as always, keep your generalMeat Loaf thoughts and anecdotes
flying in.
(45:04):
Did you see Meat Loaf at theScarborough Rotunda Museum?
And find him thinking that it'sa very nice little regional
museum, actually.
There's a good fossil.
and a man that they found insome bog up on the top floor, if
I remember correctly.
I spent a lot of time there as achild, so um, what we talking
about?
Did you see Meat loaf there Ifso, let us know.
(45:26):
Chat out of hell at gmail.
com And if
Emma (45:30):
if you happen to bump into
Sam who got lost on memory
Sam (45:32):
lane there
Emma (45:35):
It's a
Sam (45:35):
a lovely lovely
Emma (45:37):
museum.
Sounds like it
Sam (45:38):
Yeah.
Thank you all so much.
We'll see you all again in twomore weeks time for another
fantastic chat out of hell.
Bye, everybody.
Emma (45:44):
Bye.
Sam (45:44):
Bye.
Emma (45:45):
we're waving.
Sam (45:46):
We're physically waving.
Bow now now now.