Coaching the Athletic Mind Podcast - Episode 1 - Identifying your Inner critic in sports

Episode Transcript

Megan Weaver (00:01):
You are listening to Coaching the Athletic Mind
podcast, episode number one.

Alex (00:07):
Welcome to Coaching the Athletic mind podcast, where you
can learn how to quiet yourinner critic so you can excel on
the field.
Now here's your host, MeganWeaver.
Hello everyone and welcome toCoaching the Athletic Mind.
I'm your host, Megan Weaver, andI'm so excited to get this

(00:28):
podcast started.
It's been a dream of mine for awhile now, so let's jump in.
I just wanted to mention why Iwanted to start this podcast.
Athletics has always been a bigpart of my life and now my kids
lives, but I don't think there'senough support for the mental
side of the game.
And honestly, I'm fascinated byit, and now I have started a

(00:52):
business coaching the athleticmind and this podcast to support
teenage athletes involved in thegame.
So whether you're a playerbattling with self doubt and
trying to figure out how toovercome it, a parent seeking to
understand and support yourteenage athlete, or a coach
looking to build strongerconnections with your players,

(01:13):
this podcast is for you.
We aim to create a communitywhere stories, strategies, and
insights are shared to empowerplayers, inform parents, and
teach them the tools needed tosucceed both on and off the
field.
So join us as we explore themental game, share expert advice
and celebrate the journey ofevery athletic mind.

(01:35):
Now I know I'm going to make abazillion mistakes on this
podcast.
I know that for sure, but that'show you learn, right?
So we're just going to beexcited about it and jump right
in.
So a little bit about me.
I played softball in highschool, Madison high school in
Vienna, Virginia.
I then went to Le Moyne, whichis a Division II school at the
time, and was a four yearstarter playing second base and

(01:59):
batting second.
We went to the Division II WorldSeries three out of the four
years.
It was such an amazingexperience, it was so fun.
But even after college, I wasinvited to play on an Athletes
International USA team.
and those next couple summers Itraveled to Europe and Australia

(02:19):
to play, against differentcountries and it was just such
an amazing experience.
So really sports has taken mefarther than I had ever
imagined.
And yet, probably in highschool, I was getting so down on
myself and on my performancethat I knew I wasn't playing my
best, but I didn't know how tomentally improve my game.

(02:41):
I would spend hours in the cagepracticing, you know, working on
my muscles and the way I wouldswing the bat.
But it took me so long torealize it had nothing to do
with that.
It was my mind, how my mind waspreparing for the plate.

(03:01):
So more on that later, fastforward 20, 20 plus years, I
guess, and I'm now a mom ofthree kiddos.
My oldest is 11 and she'splaying travel softball and
soccer.
My eight year old is playingsoftball and Ninja Warrior, just
started softball.
And my little three year old boyis just toddling around me right
now.

(03:22):
keeping all of us on our toesfor sure.
So I guess you could say I'mreally in the thick of parenting
right now.
So I'm sure you'll hear someside notes of things I'm going
through throughout the yearabout parenting in general.
But also I am a varsityassistant softball coach.
Go Wildcats! A 12U travelsoftball coach.

(03:45):
A certified life coach from theamazing Life Coach School.
Thank you Brooke Castillo.
And of course, owner of Coachingthe Athletic Mind.
So I am super freaking busyright now, but honestly, I'm
like loving every single minuteof it.
It's just, it's crazy, but it's,it's just so fun.

(04:08):
But now let's talk about why youjumped onto this podcast in the
first place.
The mental performance side ofsports is so freaking emotional.
I am like, not even joking.
When I'm the one just sitting inmy living room watching a game,
like, it's insane.
I get so excited.

(04:28):
I just, I do, I love the ups anddowns of the games.
this past weekend we werewatching Manchester United,
which is a Premier Leaguesoccer, or UK, like, football
team.
So anyway, we're watching thisgame and my husband and I are
just like screaming and yellingat the TV when something goes
well.
We're giving high fives.

(04:48):
We're so excited.
And we go crazy.
And then when something goes notso well, like one of our players
gets a yellow card or misses thegoal, we're like, Oh, like, you
know, you're just, you are init.
You are invested in it, eventhough this is like, you know,
in England, right?
And all those ups and downs areso fun as a fan.
Like, just love it so much.

(05:10):
I mean, some people can say thatthey're just, it's like too
much.
And I guess that's kind of how Ifeel when Cora is pitching, when
my daughter, my 11 year olddaughter Cora is pitching.
Like I get a little too crazy onthat, like nervous, as a fan,
but I'm sure, a lot of, youknow, what I'm talking about
there, just the emotion sportsis just so much fun when you're

(05:31):
a spectator, but it's differentwhen you're the one playing the
game.
I don't know if you've evernoticed, but the great players
have a way of controlling orsomehow not letting their
emotions get the better of themwhile they're playing.
They're like almost stoic.
Their feelings and thoughts arejust not in the way.

(05:53):
They keep their feelings incheck so they can concentrate on
the next play.
If they're still thinking aboutwhat happened in the last inning
before, they're not going to beat their peak performance for
the next play.
So now hear me out.
Our thoughts are The main reasonwhy we feel something is good or
bad.

(06:14):
Something happens on the field,We have a thought about what
happened and then we feel acertain way about it.
Now, I'm sure you guys are goingto be like, what are you talking
about?
Like if I strike out that I'mmad because I struck out and
that's the reason why I'm madbecause of the strikeout.
But let me give you an exampleof this.
almost all emotions come fromthe thoughts you're having about

(06:35):
what happened on the field, rinkor court.
Honestly, it really doesn'tmatter what sport you play.
I've noticed with all myclients, hockey, softball,
lacrosse, basketball, it reallydoesn't matter because it always
is the same thoughts andfeelings that are coming up for
you.
It's just specific to whatyou're feeling and thinking at
the time.

(06:55):
So let me give you an exampleabout what I'm talking about.
Let's say a player strikes outat the plate in softball.
I'm a softball player, we'regoing to give you a softball
analogy right now.
the batter's thought is I can'thit, I'm the worst, which makes
them feel frustrated.
Another person, a player strikesout, and the opposing team's

(07:16):
player thinks, that's awesome,and they feel happy.
A third person on the field, thesame circumstance happens, a
player strikes out, and theumpire says, Strike three,
batter out.
his thought is strike three,next batter.

(07:39):
And he feels indifferent.
You know, he's not supposed tocare one way or the other.
Now, how can the exact samecircumstance of striking out,
the ball going into the gloveand it's a strikeout, same
circumstance of striking outelicit three different thoughts
and feelings about that oneevent?

(07:59):
It can't be the circumstance.
It's our thoughts.
So we now know it's not thecircumstance that made us
frustrated.
If the batter strikes out, it'sthe thought, I can't hit, I'm
the worst, that elicited thatfeeling of frustration, not the
striking out to begin with.
What if that pitcher just struckout the batter, had a fantastic

(08:22):
drop ball, and the same batterthought, that was a really good
pitch, but next time I'll lookfor the outside drop ball and
take it to right center field.
Would the feeling of frustrationbe what that batter was feeling
or would it be motivation withthe drive to get it next time?

(08:42):
So we have thousands of thoughtsevery single day that guide how
we feel, which guides ouractions.
The very first step in mentalperformance coaching is you need
to start asking yourself, whatam I thinking right now?
You need to get curious aboutwhat your thoughts are on the

(09:03):
field.
Now, most of our thoughts areautomatic.
We run on autopilot all daylong.
As a mom, I'm doing all theerrands, all the things.
I don't even realize what I'mthinking to myself, but I do
realize kind of how I'm feelingthroughout the day.
So since we don't even know whatwe're thinking as we go through
the day, the secret sauce tomental performance is to find

(09:27):
out what we are thinking.
Define those thought patternsthat aren't serving us and tweak
them.
Don't judge them, but find otherthoughts that would serve you
better.
Now let's talk about thethoughts that don't help get you
to where you want to go.
I like to call those thoughtsyour inner critic.
Now coaching the athletic mind'stagline is quiet your inner

(09:50):
critic so you can excel on thefield.
And that's exactly what I wantto do as a mental performance
coach.
So when you talk about thisinner critic, these are the
thoughts that come up.
When you throw a bad pass inlacrosse or miss a wide open
shot in soccer, this negativevoice that automatically jumps
in and says, you're horrible.

(10:10):
You should just quit.
You're never going to get it.
Now, if you're saying, get outof my head, Megan, right now,
you are exactly in the rightplace.
Cause let me tell you, everybodyhas these thoughts.
We just don't talk about it.
So I just have to say right now,number one, you are not alone.

(10:31):
Everyone has this negative innercritic that likes to give its
opinion.
And for some athletes, it's alot of the time, it's constant.
and number two, I want topromise you, you can get to a
place where you stop believingthat inner critic.
If you keep listening to thispodcast, you're going to be able
to find a way to do it.

(10:53):
We're not going to have thisinner critic go away completely.
And the reason why will be inanother podcast.
But I've gotten to a place whereI watch my brain lash out at me
and I don't have to believe whatit says.
I let it have a pity party or ananger party, acknowledge that
it's there, and move on with mylife.

(11:15):
When I was a teenager and youngadult, I could not do that.
My inner critic was running onrepeat in the background of my
high school and college career.
I wish I had learned these toolswhen I was younger, but since I
can't change the past, I can payit forward and teach the younger
generation these life changingmental performance tools, which

(11:36):
guess what?
I'll be leaving you with onetoday.
So we're going to start offeasy.
Start checking in with yourthoughts throughout the day.
If at practice, you're noticingyou're angry or frustrated at
yourself.
Ask yourself right then andthere, what am I thinking right
now that's causing me to feelfrustrated?

(11:57):
Get curious.
If that inner critic keepssending you the same thought
over and over again throughoutthe day, write that thought down
in a journal and ask, is thisthought always true?
So let me give you an example.
If you play soccer and becamefrustrated after your game
because you kept missing thegoal and didn't score at all.

(12:20):
Even though you had like a bunchof shots, your thought might be,
I suck at soccer.
And maybe your inner critickeeps throwing that thought at
you throughout the day, write itdown, look at it and ask
yourself, is this a hundredpercent true?
And now what do I mean by ahundred percent true?

(12:40):
I mean, would it hold up incourt with that thought hold up
in court?
Is it like a fact?
Can I show everybody that thisis always true?
That this thought is alwaystrue?
So then, when you think about itthat way, when you think, I suck
at soccer, is this thought 100percent true?
You get curious and honest withyourself and you might see, huh,

(13:03):
well, I didn't shoot on goal atall during the game.
I wasn't able to score a goal.
That is a fact.
But I did make three greatpasses to my teammates.
And two of them scored a goal.
Or, I did make a goal last week.
Play with your thought, and tryto poke holes in it, because it

(13:24):
really becomes less scary whenyou're able to do this.
Now I'm just letting you know, adisclaimer, I am not a licensed
therapist.
So if you ever get so down onyourself that you can't seem to
get out of your head, please,please, please talk to your
parents, find a counselor ortherapist to help you.
Your light is way too bright tolet your inner critic take you

(13:46):
down.
Okay?
Like I'm super serious aboutthis.
Counseling is such a wonderfulthing.
But if you are having thesethoughts, you know,
occasionally, and they're reallybothering you while you play,
then let's talk.
If you would like to dive deeperinto this work and have quicker
results, then click on the linkand work with me.

(14:06):
I offer a free 30 minute consultwhere we talk about where you
are, where you want to go andhow to work with me.
So go tocoachingtheathleticmind.
com.
That's coachingtheathleticmind.
com.
Please drop any questions orideas for topics in the comments
section and please hit the likebutton.
Thank you so much for listeningto Coaching the Athletic Mind

(14:29):
podcast, our first episode.
new episodes will be droppedtwice a month.
Hopefully, sometimes we'll getinterviews in there from
players, from other coaches,from even some parents to get
their point of view because Iknow it's crazy out there right
now with the sports stuff.
Um, thank you so much.
Cause I love havingconversations with people about

(14:49):
this topic.
So if this is your jam, like itis mine, please just keep
following cause it's going to bea wild ride.
I hope everyone has a greatcouple of weeks and I'll talk to
you soon.
Thanks.