August 1, 2025 • 29 mins
A compilation of humorous shows ranging from slapstick sketches to witty banter and family sitcoms. This series highlights the timeless appeal of laughter and character-driven comedy.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Well, I swan me too, so do I. How about you?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yes, it's the new Swan Show with our great singing
star Doris Day a.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
New singing favorite Bill Farrow.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That's me.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Our guest Jack Bennet.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Irene Ryan, the four hits in a miss than you
Less Brown fan, We swan exclusively.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
How about you?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yes? How about you? Who me?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
My name is Robert hop Along.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Hope and now Bob Hope.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Swan's eye view of the.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
News, Princeton, New Jersey. Hurried conferences and frantic alibis were
the order of the day. Here it was the nation's
polltaker sought to explain their disastrous error in predicting the
results of last week's election.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Doctor Gallup was amazed at the outcome, but he wouldn't
admit he was wrong. Last night he was still peeking
into the White House window and singing, maybe you'll be there.
He was really unhappy when he saw the election returns.
He slams, it's the last time I take a house
to house survey. From now on, I'm going to ask people.
(01:28):
I call up Elmer Roper and said, how can your
predictions be so wrong? He said, You see, we mathematicians
make a prodigious effort to ascertain by statistical and prognostication
and political press to digitation the approximate parallelisms. I said,
what does that mean? He said, where can I get
a job? And last Tuesday night Drew Pearson said over
(01:50):
the radio, I predict Dewey will be elected by ten thirty.
At eleven o'clock, he said, I predict Dowey twelve, he said,
I predict the next morning he said, iy.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
Ya ya ya yai yea.
Speaker 7 (02:04):
New York.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
New York Phone Company executives announced here today the telephones
for automobiles were at long last ready and available for
mister abridge motorists.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I had a phone put in my car last week,
but the wires must be crossed every time I step
on the start of the sparks. Plugs give a busy
signal and the receiver sphere. It's a quart of hot
oil in my ear. But they are a big help
to the motorists. If a guy's feeding, you can look
in the rear vision mirror, see a cop trailing him,
call his lawyer and the three of them can meet
at the next intersection. But think what it'll be like
(02:38):
later on when cars have telephones and television.
Speaker 8 (02:41):
Two.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
A guy's driving along. His wife calls up and says, honey,
bring home ahead of lettuce and carrots, a cucumber, and
get that tomato out of your car.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Washington and DC, the greatest ovation in the history of
the nation's capital, greeted President Truman as a crowd of
seven hundred and fifty thousand cheered his tryal opened return
to the White House.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yes, sir, was that a reception From every window. They
were throwing confetti and old cabinet members and and the
world will long remember President Truman's the historic words. When
he returned to the White House, he said, it's okay,
best you can send the laundry out now. When Harry
(03:23):
got back to the White House, he started hanging up
his coat. Governor Warren stuck his head out of the
closet and said, I'll be out of your way as
soon as I pack up my oranges. The Democrats did
so well in that election they're even coming out with
new products named after the President. They got a new
thing now called the Harry Truman popsicle. It's a frozen
Republican on a stick. And with the election coming out
(03:56):
the way it did. A lot of people had to
change their plans. Now Margaret Truman has to go back
to the White House, and she had it all set
to be the fourth Andrews sister. The three candidates have
really changed that tune since the election. Trumans changed from
Missouri Waltz to its magic, Dewey's humming, say it isn't so,
and Wallace is singing in a slow boat to China,
(04:25):
announcing only eight more days of the swan nineteen forty
nine Mercury Contest, only eight more days to win up
brand new nineteen forty nine Mercury Automobile.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Right now here are more winners in.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
The Daily Mercury Contest October nineteenth. Missus Don Andrews of Portsmouth,
Virginia a new nineteen forty nine Mercury October twentieth.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Missus B. V. Painter of San Diego, California, a.
Speaker 9 (04:46):
New nineteen forty nine Mercury October twenty first.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Missus Arlene Brewster of Topeka.
Speaker 8 (04:50):
Kansas, a new nineteen forty nine Mercury.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
October twenty second. Duplicate winners Mister fred S. Bosinger of Denver, Colorado.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And Missus E. P.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Williamson of Honolulu win a new nineteen forty nine mercury.
October twenty fifth, Missus Alvin M. David, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Speaker 9 (05:05):
A new nineteen forty nine mercury.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Congratulations winners, and remember, folks, there are only eight more
days to enter. Lever Brothers is giving away a mercury
a day every day until November nineteenth. That's right, a
mercury a.
Speaker 9 (05:17):
Day plus one thousand dollars in cash awards daily. There's
a new contest every day except Saturday and Sunday, and
you can enter as often as you please.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
All residents of.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
The continental United States, including Alaska.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
And Hawaii, are eligible.
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Just be sure to follow the complete rules printed on
free entry blanks at your store, and be sure to
include your storekeeper's name.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Here's all you do.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Finish the following statement, I like Swan soap because in
twenty five words or less. Then send a Swan soap rapper,
together with your name and address to Levers Mercury a
Day Contest, Post Office Box three, New York eight, New
York Well.
Speaker 10 (05:49):
I swan a mercury a day.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
That's right?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
See who by Crackere. Here's the galloo was selected as
the arcad Queen of the National Flower Festival, our Singing
arc and Miss Doris Day.
Speaker 11 (06:13):
Every day I love you just a little bit more,
just a little bit more, a little bit more ever
a day, want just a little bit.
Speaker 10 (06:30):
More than it did the day before.
Speaker 11 (06:37):
You'll never guess souty my love it.
Speaker 10 (06:43):
Not even in your wi the streams. But just so
you get a clear.
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Compare to my love, myny the Mississippi rivers just street
every day, just a little bit more, just a little
bit more.
Speaker 10 (07:12):
A little bit more.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
Every day.
Speaker 12 (07:17):
Watch just a little bit more than a did the
jay before.
Speaker 10 (07:28):
Then I.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
More than downy ladies, ladies and gentlemen you probably read
in the papers last week. Got while making a picture
of Paramount, Bob Hope tripped and tore a muscle in
his right leg. Now let's look behind the scenes see
how an accident like this affects the motion picture industry.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
We take you to the production offices.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
At Paramount with the heads of the studio, Henry Geeksburg
and why free Frankman are talking?
Speaker 13 (08:10):
Say why f yes, geez, I've been thinking we've got
a lot of money tied up on that character.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
Bob Hope and if his leg.
Speaker 13 (08:16):
Doesn't get any better, he may never be in another
paramount picture. How could a thing like that happen to us?
Speaker 8 (08:23):
Oh I don't know.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
Just lucky, I guess.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
But why what'll we do about Hope? His leg may
be broken?
Speaker 8 (08:39):
Yeah, too bad, he ain't triggered.
Speaker 7 (08:41):
We could shoot him.
Speaker 13 (08:45):
You know how this accident happened, don't you, yev Hope
was doing that boat scene and as he tried to
get on board, he slipped and felled because somebody had
put grease all over the gangplank. You know, it looks
like someone is out to get him.
Speaker 8 (08:58):
Yeah, I remember, ge if there's an investigation. We're in
this thing together.
Speaker 13 (09:10):
Well, it seemed like the easy way. And while we're
on the subject, we got to get rid of a
lot of the actors over here.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
They're getting too old.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
Yeah, how about that Crosby. Remember when we thought we
had mice in the studio.
Speaker 14 (09:21):
We spent five thousand dollars to get rid of the mice,
and theyn found out it was Crosby's joints.
Speaker 8 (09:25):
So we're doing the squeaking.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
You know why if I think Bing is about the.
Speaker 8 (09:37):
Same age as Hope, Oh, I know it.
Speaker 14 (09:40):
If we put them in another road picture. The road's
gotta be downhill, by the way. Where is Hope?
Speaker 13 (09:49):
Now he's over in his dressing room resting.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Oh oh, Doris, this pain is it's awful?
Speaker 10 (10:00):
Oh is it really that bad?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Bob?
Speaker 10 (10:02):
Let me look at your leg?
Speaker 15 (10:04):
Oh my gosh, it's all twisted out of shape, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
That's the wrong leg?
Speaker 15 (10:14):
Oh gee, Bob, I hate to see you in such misery.
Does it hurt much?
Speaker 8 (10:19):
Well?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I don't care about that. I just wish it had
been my other knee. Why, well, the knee I heard
is the one with a dimple in it. Now I'll
never be able to wear my pedal pushes with a
split up.
Speaker 15 (10:29):
The side, Bob, Bob, I just don't understand how a
thing like this could happen to you.
Speaker 10 (10:38):
You're so strong and husky.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Am I?
Speaker 10 (10:41):
Yeah? And so loaded with vitality?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Honestly?
Speaker 10 (10:45):
Sure? Well, I always think of you as being a
real he man.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
You do, Yes, I have so much more than Gregory?
Why should I fight it?
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Say? It was sure?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And nice of you to drop in, though, Doris.
Speaker 7 (11:02):
I want to.
Speaker 10 (11:04):
Hello Doris, Hello, mister Holt.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Oh, Hello miss Ryan.
Speaker 10 (11:07):
Hello? Mi is Ryan? How do you feel today?
Speaker 16 (11:10):
Well, you know me, I always try to keep my
chin up even though my archers are falling. I heard
about what happened to mister Holt, and I thought i'd
come over and cheer him up.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Oh thanks. You see, I hurt my leg and I
can't move it. It's nothing to worry about.
Speaker 10 (11:24):
Oh, I don't know about that.
Speaker 17 (11:26):
My uncle Julius had the same thing once in his
shoulders and he couldn't move his arms.
Speaker 10 (11:32):
The doctor made him leave them in one position. Oh
that must have been terrible.
Speaker 16 (11:36):
Well it worked out all right. When he died two
days later, his arms were already folded.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
On his chair.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
That's nice, Poorsha faces life. This gal backs into it.
Speaker 15 (11:55):
Yeah, Bob, you should listen to miss Ryan.
Speaker 10 (11:57):
She can help you. She's been through a lot of
these things, you know. Oh.
Speaker 17 (12:00):
Yes, I've never really been all well all my life,
that is all of it, you know, And recently, mister Hope,
it's been much worse.
Speaker 10 (12:14):
Yesterday I thought I was losing my mind all day long.
I kept hearing voices in my head.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You were hearing voices in your head, yes, But.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
I found out what it was.
Speaker 16 (12:24):
The battery in my hearing aid was low and I
was still getting.
Speaker 10 (12:27):
The election returned.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Well, don't worry, Hoover made it.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Well, it was nice for you to drop in, miss Ryan.
Speaker 10 (12:43):
Well, I do hope you get better. Oh, that reminds me.
Speaker 16 (12:46):
Before I go, I wanted to show you a picture
of my uncle Julius, the one who died.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Well, what do I want to see a picture of
him for?
Speaker 10 (12:53):
Well, you might get worse.
Speaker 17 (12:55):
And if you don't pull through, it'll be nice if
you know somebody when you get there.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Keep me chin up now, all right? If she ever
gets married, she'll spend her honeymoon in the window of
the Wrexall drug Star.
Speaker 15 (13:21):
Well, I have to be running along, Tubabe. I promised
Hi Abbek i'd meet him. He's making a screen test
over here.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Aberbach is making a screen test. You mean they've run
out of talent.
Speaker 10 (13:29):
Well, I think Hi will do very well in pictures
because he tests.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Hello everybody, Hello Doris.
Speaker 10 (13:34):
Oh hello, Hi? Are you all ready for your screen test?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yes, Doris, I just came from the makeup department.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
They didn't get your ears on straight.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
At least my lobes are on the bottom.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Hello Doris, how about running through the screen test with
me like you promise.
Speaker 10 (13:54):
Okay, I have you the script.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
The scene we're doing takes place in the New York penthouse.
We're social leaders, and we're married.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
We're splitting up.
Speaker 8 (14:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You have the first line, and I want you to
pay close attention to my diction.
Speaker 15 (14:05):
Montgomery. I'm afraid that you and I are through. It's regrettable,
but we can't go on.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yes, Ellie, I'm so sorry that we must split, but I'm.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Afraid we must go off separate ways.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Don't you think you're carrying too many pounds of pressure?
Speaker 7 (14:22):
There?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Lobes down upside down?
Speaker 18 (14:27):
Okay, sorry, well, Montgomery, if we're.
Speaker 15 (14:32):
Parting, well, Montgomery, if we're parting, I insist that you
give me the house.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
You have the house, and I.
Speaker 10 (14:39):
Want the Cadillac and the two Mercury.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
They're yours. But there's one thing you may not have.
Speaker 10 (14:43):
If you're speaking of the children, I want them.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You may have the children, my riches in my home,
but I insist.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
That you leave one thing. What that cake of swan
soap in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Jimmy Fedder will give this picture of four bubbles.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yes, Alice, take everything, but please please don't take that Swan.
Swan is the newer, better, white floating soap. Swan never
crumples like our green castles did. No, sir, you can
use Swan right down to the last smooth sliver. And
why because Swan is made by a modern, patented process
that no other soap can use, a process that makes
Swan better.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
For dishes and hands.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Swan is as mild as the finest castile. It protects
your hands, keeps them soft and smooth.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
He's right, my hands are so soft. When I want
to point at anybody, I have to starch one finger.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Oh Alice, Alice, I can't leave you. Just think a
cake of Swan brought us together again. I still love you.
Speaker 10 (15:45):
And I love you.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I love you, Alice, I love you Monty.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm engaged with the Lever Brothers.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yes, for your hands, your bath, and for babies bath.
Swan is the best soap a float. When I swan,
me too, you're.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Sir, my crackheads.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Here's our junior crooner we barred from the oasis this week,
nineteen year old Bill Fairley.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
There is no verse to this song, because I'd have
walked away a moment too long.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
To say that I'd love to get you.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
On the slow boat to China, all to myself below.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yet you, and keep you in my arm.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Severer ball, leave all your.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Love weeping on the fire, away showers out on the
blinding with the moon big and shiny, merely your heart
the stone. Yes, I wanna get you on a snowboat
(17:11):
to China, all to my jail, ball. Yes, I wanna
(17:32):
get you on a snowball to China, all to.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
My jail.
Speaker 19 (17:44):
On a real slow boat, on a slow ball China.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
That's my son for Cleveland, Billy Barrel, Thank you very much,
sing a slow boat to China. Now tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we're going to present a very different kind of
thing here. We have a thing here. Musicians, Please no
tuning while the stars on. Please Now, as I was saying, please, please,
(18:25):
hey you, hey Evelyn, stop with that magic violin. I
resent that well, Jack, Benny.
Speaker 6 (18:31):
Ladies and gentlemen, Jack, what are you doing here?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Some surprise? We rehearsed nine weeks already, Bob.
Speaker 20 (18:55):
Look it, I heard about your leg and I thought
i'd pay you a visit.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Well that's swellow you Jack. But how come you're sitting
in with less Brown's Orchestra.
Speaker 20 (19:01):
Well, just once, I wanted to play in a band
and not worry about the leader's breath taking the varnish
off my vial.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Well, you don't have to worry about less. Less hasn't
been high since Patrillo picked him up to Bourpen. But look,
it was awfully nice for you to drop in and
see me.
Speaker 8 (19:21):
Jack.
Speaker 20 (19:21):
Well, I was sorry to hear about your accident, Bob. Yeah,
it's a little uncomfortable. But the worst of it.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Is, whenever I hobble down the street, people keep throwing
money in my hat.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
They do.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
That's how embarrassing. That's terrible.
Speaker 8 (19:40):
I must be awful, Bob.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
How much do you average a block? Oh it varies,
but take my advice, Jack, stay away from Beverly Hills.
Nothing but dewey buttons. But I can't get over how
nice it is of you to drop in on me, Jack.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Well, Bob, that's the way it is with us troopers.
Speaker 20 (20:03):
You know, we show people have to stick together in
these times of trouble.
Speaker 8 (20:06):
Why, as soon as I.
Speaker 20 (20:06):
Heard of your accident, I rushed right over here to
be the first one at your side.
Speaker 8 (20:10):
Jack.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
You came over just to help me?
Speaker 20 (20:12):
Well, yes, yes, of course, if you buy the insurance
policy I have in mind, it helps me a little.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Too, Jack. Why are you selling insurance?
Speaker 20 (20:26):
Well, you see, it's a little early to start unloading
my line of Christmas cards.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, Jack, I don't get this. You're a wealthy man.
You're worth millions of dollars. Whoops selling insurance?
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Well if you got a sample policy, you can show
me there in your portfolio. Jack, did you hear that? No?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
No, I didn't hear anything.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
You sure you didn't hear that? Echo?
Speaker 13 (20:59):
No?
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Kid, this is your show. Well look, Jack, let's face it,
this is ridiculous. You don't have to sell insurance. You're
a star. They write about you in the Saturday Evening Post.
You're one of the outstanding comedians in show business, one
of them. You don't mind me throwing that in there?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Do you now?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
This is still your show? Oh but you're really great, Jack.
People stay at home on Sundays just to listen to
your radio show. I have so much more than Fred Allen.
Why should I fight?
Speaker 21 (21:40):
Say?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Wait a minute, that's my gag. I'll trade you for
the odele. What'll my sponsors say?
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
I swam, yes, sir?
Speaker 20 (21:52):
Wait a minute, ge wiz my goodness, and wait a minute,
I'll say orry ye, wait a minute, yes.
Speaker 15 (21:57):
Sir cracky, way out the.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Easy Jackieither we pedal the stuff this way or I
have to put on a pair of water wings and
sell it bathtub to bathtub.
Speaker 6 (22:16):
My next line is a hum dinger.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Bath's up to bathtub?
Speaker 20 (22:21):
Huh? I have trouble with my sponsor too. That's a dandylion, Thanks, Bob.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
I rehearsed four weeks for that line. Well, we were
going to give you something you could get your teeth into,
but we weren't sure you'd have them with you tonight.
Speaker 20 (22:48):
You wouldn't dare say that if you were still with
Pepsiden brother.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Power.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Let's get back to this stuff. Huh. We'll ever get
through with this tonight.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Look at you know, Bob, you know who handy? You
know who has the sweetest?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Page fifteen?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
You know who has the sweetest I'm not you know
who has a sweet lover?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Get off?
Speaker 10 (23:24):
I want to play the violin.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, wait a minute, wait a minute, are we still on?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
You know who has the sweetest?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Lack of radio? Don't you the disc jockey? This jockeys?
You mean one of those guys who says this next
record is sponsored by the Happy hunting Ground Funeral Home.
And now the Xtra plays he's a real gone guy.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
We haven't got time to wait.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
See why don't we try it? Please your laughs not mine?
Please say why don't we try our hand at being
this jockey jack? All we have to do is make
the rounds of the music shops and pick up a couple.
Speaker 20 (23:55):
Of hundred records. Well, I don't know, for free, shoot
the wax to me.
Speaker 10 (23:59):
Max.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Really great as a team of disc jockey says, it's
heying radio. I can just hear it.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Now, Good evening, ladies and Jesse when you are listening
to the station SLOV the biggest on the coast.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And No and now we.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Present Jazzy Jack, Benny and be Bob Bob in the
original radio record show Make Fee leave washroom.
Speaker 19 (24:21):
Hi a gang?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
All right, Dan, this is your old disc jockey b
Bob Bob with another knocked out record section. It's all
on wax and it's real mad. So you kids who
want to get your kicks, lace up your boots and
latch out of some of this frantic jibe that we're
gonna stand swinging your way right now, cats are like
to turn the mic over to a real help character,
the man who knows all the answers in the world
of jazz. That's Solid Jet, my platter partner, Jazzy Jack Benny.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Then Hot Body O Doe.
Speaker 10 (24:51):
Salid Jack.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
And now before we spend our next flight, a few kids,
we'd like to the next spin to half. Our show
is sponsored by Doctor Capstaff's weight Reducing Plant.
Speaker 20 (25:03):
We lack a word with those of you ladies who
weigh over four hundred pounds. You have the feeling that
you're being followed.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
You are, it's you and you met over four hundred punds.
Do you have large stomachs? When you gets your shoes shined,
you have to take the Bootblack's word for it.
Speaker 20 (25:20):
Why not try doctor capstaff weight reducing Bill.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yes, to take off those extra pounds, try doctor Capstaff's method.
No diet, no pills, no injections, no exercise. Once a week,
Doctor Capstaff's comes to your house and beats you with
a rubber hose. And now we're gonna play our first records,
a little tuone called I'm Dancing with Tears in my
eyes because the girl in my arms had onions for
dinner gonna be played.
Speaker 20 (25:38):
By Woody Gribbinus and as you should live so long
if you can.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Find the melody orchist bro hit it what he.
Speaker 10 (25:48):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Thanks Woody, that was great, Look be Bob. A bunch
of new releases A Jester Ross. Gee, that's some interesting titles.
Look at this when you used to be the cream
in my coffee, but now you're just grounds for divorce.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
All old of this one. If you were the only
girl in the world, I was the only boy.
Speaker 20 (26:03):
I wonder why I'd play handball with it?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
The why?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Here's my favorite hair of gold, eyes of blue, lips
like cherry wine. I never should have stopped on them
with my bare feet. Say suppose we play that one
right now?
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Okay, but first a word from our sponsor.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, this next record is coming to you through the
courtesy of Slushies, the only breakfast cereal that shot out
of a water pistol.
Speaker 20 (26:24):
Oh, you don't just love slushies. They don't snap, crackle
and pop like other breakfast cereals.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
They just lie there anud.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Mother's your cheer when you see the way your kids
dive into a bowl of slushies. They never come up again.
Listen to what one happy user of slushies has to say,
abb and.
Speaker 20 (26:41):
Eaton slushies for not on to thirty years, and I
want to tell you something.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I'm getting mighty tired. Thank you, f e spoon a
battle crick mission, Say Jack, what's next down the turntable? Oh,
the folks just love this one, Yes, sir, it's a
new release that features a duet by the fishing Young
Walkken violin as Benny Cabel scheme and that new.
Speaker 18 (27:01):
Cleveland singing discovery the velvet smile. Yeah, Oh, east is
east and west is west and the.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Wrong Walter I have toes.
Speaker 21 (27:22):
Let's go where you keep on wearing those bills and
flowers and buttons and bowls brings them.
Speaker 8 (27:27):
Things and buttons and bowls.
Speaker 21 (27:33):
Don't bury me in this prairie. Take me where the
sea man grows.
Speaker 20 (27:38):
Let's go town me.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Down where they love a gal by the cut of
her clothes, and you'll stand out in buttons and bowls.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Of practicing in our time.
Speaker 8 (27:50):
Please.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I love you and log shirt at your homestung, but
I love you longers longer where your friends don't.
Speaker 10 (27:59):
Go would have done.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
The UK four thousand the cactus hurts my tears. A
lets mam moose where gals keep using those silks and
sat and down Lennon that shows and you're wrong mine
in buttons and both. Thank you, Dan, You've been fine.
Speaker 13 (28:19):
That's right, Jack. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Next week, ladies and gentlemen, Jack, Wait a minute, Jack,
we have next week. It's all over, kids, pack up.
Speaker 10 (28:26):
Okay, we have another next week we have Morton Downey.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
Ladies and gentlemen that cook up.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Say okay, Jack, wait a minute, it's.
Speaker 13 (28:34):
All over Jack, Jack, wait off.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
The quite off a minute.
Speaker 21 (28:57):
Nimes for the memory of the vote in forty eight,
A chance to demonstrate whom we endorse to chart the course.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Of our US ship estates. Thank you very much, ladies
and gentlemen. We'd like to pay trivia to that fighting
man from Missouri who stepped into the ring last Tuesday
with the odds against him and came out the winner
and still champion of the USA. President Harry S.
Speaker 12 (29:18):
Truman Mirrormor on the wall is my hafairst of them all.
Speaker 8 (29:29):
It is when you use Rave cream shampoo. Rave leaves
your hair so clean, so soft, so easy to manage.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Easier to manage because the pure ano linen rave especially
bended with other important ingredients to make hair behave even
on shampoo day.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Try Rave cream shampoo r A y Ve Rave Cream shampoo.
Speaker 8 (29:50):
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
Well, I swan me too, so do I. How about you?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yes, it's the new Swan Show with our great singing
star Doris Day a.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
New singing favorite Bill Farrow.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That's me.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Our guest Jack Bennet.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Irene Ryan, the four hits in a miss than you
Less Brown fan, We swan exclusively.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
How about you?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yes? How about you? Who me?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
My name is Robert hop Along.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Hope and now Bob Hope.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Swan's eye view of the.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
News, Princeton, New Jersey. Hurried conferences and frantic alibis were
the order of the day. Here it was the nation's
polltaker sought to explain their disastrous error in predicting the
results of last week's election.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Doctor Gallup was amazed at the outcome, but he wouldn't
admit he was wrong. Last night he was still peeking
into the White House window and singing, maybe you'll be there.
He was really unhappy when he saw the election returns.
He slams, it's the last time I take a house
to house survey. From now on, I'm going to ask people.
(01:28):
I call up Elmer Roper and said, how can your
predictions be so wrong? He said, You see, we mathematicians
make a prodigious effort to ascertain by statistical and prognostication
and political press to digitation the approximate parallelisms. I said,
what does that mean? He said, where can I get
a job? And last Tuesday night Drew Pearson said over
(01:50):
the radio, I predict Dewey will be elected by ten thirty.
At eleven o'clock, he said, I predict Dowey twelve, he said,
I predict the next morning he said, iy.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
Ya ya ya yai yea.
Speaker 7 (02:04):
New York.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
New York Phone Company executives announced here today the telephones
for automobiles were at long last ready and available for
mister abridge motorists.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I had a phone put in my car last week,
but the wires must be crossed every time I step
on the start of the sparks. Plugs give a busy
signal and the receiver sphere. It's a quart of hot
oil in my ear. But they are a big help
to the motorists. If a guy's feeding, you can look
in the rear vision mirror, see a cop trailing him,
call his lawyer and the three of them can meet
at the next intersection. But think what it'll be like
(02:38):
later on when cars have telephones and television.
Speaker 8 (02:41):
Two.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
A guy's driving along. His wife calls up and says, honey,
bring home ahead of lettuce and carrots, a cucumber, and
get that tomato out of your car.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Washington and DC, the greatest ovation in the history of
the nation's capital, greeted President Truman as a crowd of
seven hundred and fifty thousand cheered his tryal opened return
to the White House.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yes, sir, was that a reception From every window. They
were throwing confetti and old cabinet members and and the
world will long remember President Truman's the historic words. When
he returned to the White House, he said, it's okay,
best you can send the laundry out now. When Harry
(03:23):
got back to the White House, he started hanging up
his coat. Governor Warren stuck his head out of the
closet and said, I'll be out of your way as
soon as I pack up my oranges. The Democrats did
so well in that election they're even coming out with
new products named after the President. They got a new
thing now called the Harry Truman popsicle. It's a frozen
Republican on a stick. And with the election coming out
(03:56):
the way it did. A lot of people had to
change their plans. Now Margaret Truman has to go back
to the White House, and she had it all set
to be the fourth Andrews sister. The three candidates have
really changed that tune since the election. Trumans changed from
Missouri Waltz to its magic, Dewey's humming, say it isn't so,
and Wallace is singing in a slow boat to China,
(04:25):
announcing only eight more days of the swan nineteen forty
nine Mercury Contest, only eight more days to win up
brand new nineteen forty nine Mercury Automobile.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Right now here are more winners in.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
The Daily Mercury Contest October nineteenth. Missus Don Andrews of Portsmouth,
Virginia a new nineteen forty nine Mercury October twentieth.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Missus B. V. Painter of San Diego, California, a.
Speaker 9 (04:46):
New nineteen forty nine Mercury October twenty first.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Missus Arlene Brewster of Topeka.
Speaker 8 (04:50):
Kansas, a new nineteen forty nine Mercury.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
October twenty second. Duplicate winners Mister fred S. Bosinger of Denver, Colorado.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And Missus E. P.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Williamson of Honolulu win a new nineteen forty nine mercury.
October twenty fifth, Missus Alvin M. David, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Speaker 9 (05:05):
A new nineteen forty nine mercury.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Congratulations winners, and remember, folks, there are only eight more
days to enter. Lever Brothers is giving away a mercury
a day every day until November nineteenth. That's right, a
mercury a.
Speaker 9 (05:17):
Day plus one thousand dollars in cash awards daily. There's
a new contest every day except Saturday and Sunday, and
you can enter as often as you please.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
All residents of.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
The continental United States, including Alaska.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
And Hawaii, are eligible.
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Just be sure to follow the complete rules printed on
free entry blanks at your store, and be sure to
include your storekeeper's name.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Here's all you do.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Finish the following statement, I like Swan soap because in
twenty five words or less. Then send a Swan soap rapper,
together with your name and address to Levers Mercury a
Day Contest, Post Office Box three, New York eight, New
York Well.
Speaker 10 (05:49):
I swan a mercury a day.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
That's right?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
See who by Crackere. Here's the galloo was selected as
the arcad Queen of the National Flower Festival, our Singing
arc and Miss Doris Day.
Speaker 11 (06:13):
Every day I love you just a little bit more,
just a little bit more, a little bit more ever
a day, want just a little bit.
Speaker 10 (06:30):
More than it did the day before.
Speaker 11 (06:37):
You'll never guess souty my love it.
Speaker 10 (06:43):
Not even in your wi the streams. But just so
you get a clear.
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Compare to my love, myny the Mississippi rivers just street
every day, just a little bit more, just a little
bit more.
Speaker 10 (07:12):
A little bit more.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
Every day.
Speaker 12 (07:17):
Watch just a little bit more than a did the
jay before.
Speaker 10 (07:28):
Then I.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
More than downy ladies, ladies and gentlemen you probably read
in the papers last week. Got while making a picture
of Paramount, Bob Hope tripped and tore a muscle in
his right leg. Now let's look behind the scenes see
how an accident like this affects the motion picture industry.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
We take you to the production offices.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
At Paramount with the heads of the studio, Henry Geeksburg
and why free Frankman are talking?
Speaker 13 (08:10):
Say why f yes, geez, I've been thinking we've got
a lot of money tied up on that character.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
Bob Hope and if his leg.
Speaker 13 (08:16):
Doesn't get any better, he may never be in another
paramount picture. How could a thing like that happen to us?
Speaker 8 (08:23):
Oh I don't know.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
Just lucky, I guess.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
But why what'll we do about Hope? His leg may
be broken?
Speaker 8 (08:39):
Yeah, too bad, he ain't triggered.
Speaker 7 (08:41):
We could shoot him.
Speaker 13 (08:45):
You know how this accident happened, don't you, yev Hope
was doing that boat scene and as he tried to
get on board, he slipped and felled because somebody had
put grease all over the gangplank. You know, it looks
like someone is out to get him.
Speaker 8 (08:58):
Yeah, I remember, ge if there's an investigation. We're in
this thing together.
Speaker 13 (09:10):
Well, it seemed like the easy way. And while we're
on the subject, we got to get rid of a
lot of the actors over here.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
They're getting too old.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
Yeah, how about that Crosby. Remember when we thought we
had mice in the studio.
Speaker 14 (09:21):
We spent five thousand dollars to get rid of the mice,
and theyn found out it was Crosby's joints.
Speaker 8 (09:25):
So we're doing the squeaking.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
You know why if I think Bing is about the.
Speaker 8 (09:37):
Same age as Hope, Oh, I know it.
Speaker 14 (09:40):
If we put them in another road picture. The road's
gotta be downhill, by the way. Where is Hope?
Speaker 13 (09:49):
Now he's over in his dressing room resting.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Oh oh, Doris, this pain is it's awful?
Speaker 10 (10:00):
Oh is it really that bad?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Bob?
Speaker 10 (10:02):
Let me look at your leg?
Speaker 15 (10:04):
Oh my gosh, it's all twisted out of shape, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
That's the wrong leg?
Speaker 15 (10:14):
Oh gee, Bob, I hate to see you in such misery.
Does it hurt much?
Speaker 8 (10:19):
Well?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I don't care about that. I just wish it had
been my other knee. Why, well, the knee I heard
is the one with a dimple in it. Now I'll
never be able to wear my pedal pushes with a
split up.
Speaker 15 (10:29):
The side, Bob, Bob, I just don't understand how a
thing like this could happen to you.
Speaker 10 (10:38):
You're so strong and husky.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Am I?
Speaker 10 (10:41):
Yeah? And so loaded with vitality?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Honestly?
Speaker 10 (10:45):
Sure? Well, I always think of you as being a
real he man.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
You do, Yes, I have so much more than Gregory?
Why should I fight it?
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Say? It was sure?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And nice of you to drop in, though, Doris.
Speaker 7 (11:02):
I want to.
Speaker 10 (11:04):
Hello Doris, Hello, mister Holt.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Oh, Hello miss Ryan.
Speaker 10 (11:07):
Hello? Mi is Ryan? How do you feel today?
Speaker 16 (11:10):
Well, you know me, I always try to keep my
chin up even though my archers are falling. I heard
about what happened to mister Holt, and I thought i'd
come over and cheer him up.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Oh thanks. You see, I hurt my leg and I
can't move it. It's nothing to worry about.
Speaker 10 (11:24):
Oh, I don't know about that.
Speaker 17 (11:26):
My uncle Julius had the same thing once in his
shoulders and he couldn't move his arms.
Speaker 10 (11:32):
The doctor made him leave them in one position. Oh
that must have been terrible.
Speaker 16 (11:36):
Well it worked out all right. When he died two
days later, his arms were already folded.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
On his chair.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
That's nice, Poorsha faces life. This gal backs into it.
Speaker 15 (11:55):
Yeah, Bob, you should listen to miss Ryan.
Speaker 10 (11:57):
She can help you. She's been through a lot of
these things, you know. Oh.
Speaker 17 (12:00):
Yes, I've never really been all well all my life,
that is all of it, you know, And recently, mister Hope,
it's been much worse.
Speaker 10 (12:14):
Yesterday I thought I was losing my mind all day long.
I kept hearing voices in my head.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You were hearing voices in your head, yes, But.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
I found out what it was.
Speaker 16 (12:24):
The battery in my hearing aid was low and I
was still getting.
Speaker 10 (12:27):
The election returned.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Well, don't worry, Hoover made it.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Well, it was nice for you to drop in, miss Ryan.
Speaker 10 (12:43):
Well, I do hope you get better. Oh, that reminds me.
Speaker 16 (12:46):
Before I go, I wanted to show you a picture
of my uncle Julius, the one who died.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Well, what do I want to see a picture of
him for?
Speaker 10 (12:53):
Well, you might get worse.
Speaker 17 (12:55):
And if you don't pull through, it'll be nice if
you know somebody when you get there.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Keep me chin up now, all right? If she ever
gets married, she'll spend her honeymoon in the window of
the Wrexall drug Star.
Speaker 15 (13:21):
Well, I have to be running along, Tubabe. I promised
Hi Abbek i'd meet him. He's making a screen test
over here.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Aberbach is making a screen test. You mean they've run
out of talent.
Speaker 10 (13:29):
Well, I think Hi will do very well in pictures
because he tests.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Hello everybody, Hello Doris.
Speaker 10 (13:34):
Oh hello, Hi? Are you all ready for your screen test?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yes, Doris, I just came from the makeup department.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
They didn't get your ears on straight.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
At least my lobes are on the bottom.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Hello Doris, how about running through the screen test with
me like you promise.
Speaker 10 (13:54):
Okay, I have you the script.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
The scene we're doing takes place in the New York penthouse.
We're social leaders, and we're married.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
We're splitting up.
Speaker 8 (14:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You have the first line, and I want you to
pay close attention to my diction.
Speaker 15 (14:05):
Montgomery. I'm afraid that you and I are through. It's regrettable,
but we can't go on.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yes, Ellie, I'm so sorry that we must split, but I'm.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Afraid we must go off separate ways.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Don't you think you're carrying too many pounds of pressure?
Speaker 7 (14:22):
There?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Lobes down upside down?
Speaker 18 (14:27):
Okay, sorry, well, Montgomery, if we're.
Speaker 15 (14:32):
Parting, well, Montgomery, if we're parting, I insist that you
give me the house.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
You have the house, and I.
Speaker 10 (14:39):
Want the Cadillac and the two Mercury.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
They're yours. But there's one thing you may not have.
Speaker 10 (14:43):
If you're speaking of the children, I want them.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You may have the children, my riches in my home,
but I insist.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
That you leave one thing. What that cake of swan
soap in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Jimmy Fedder will give this picture of four bubbles.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yes, Alice, take everything, but please please don't take that Swan.
Swan is the newer, better, white floating soap. Swan never
crumples like our green castles did. No, sir, you can
use Swan right down to the last smooth sliver. And
why because Swan is made by a modern, patented process
that no other soap can use, a process that makes
Swan better.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
For dishes and hands.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Swan is as mild as the finest castile. It protects
your hands, keeps them soft and smooth.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
He's right, my hands are so soft. When I want
to point at anybody, I have to starch one finger.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Oh Alice, Alice, I can't leave you. Just think a
cake of Swan brought us together again. I still love you.
Speaker 10 (15:45):
And I love you.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I love you, Alice, I love you Monty.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm engaged with the Lever Brothers.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yes, for your hands, your bath, and for babies bath.
Swan is the best soap a float. When I swan,
me too, you're.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Sir, my crackheads.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Here's our junior crooner we barred from the oasis this week,
nineteen year old Bill Fairley.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
There is no verse to this song, because I'd have
walked away a moment too long.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
To say that I'd love to get you.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
On the slow boat to China, all to myself below.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yet you, and keep you in my arm.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Severer ball, leave all your.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Love weeping on the fire, away showers out on the
blinding with the moon big and shiny, merely your heart
the stone. Yes, I wanna get you on a snowboat
(17:11):
to China, all to my jail, ball. Yes, I wanna
(17:32):
get you on a snowball to China, all to.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
My jail.
Speaker 19 (17:44):
On a real slow boat, on a slow ball China.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
That's my son for Cleveland, Billy Barrel, Thank you very much,
sing a slow boat to China. Now tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we're going to present a very different kind of
thing here. We have a thing here. Musicians, Please no
tuning while the stars on. Please Now, as I was saying, please, please,
(18:25):
hey you, hey Evelyn, stop with that magic violin. I
resent that well, Jack, Benny.
Speaker 6 (18:31):
Ladies and gentlemen, Jack, what are you doing here?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Some surprise? We rehearsed nine weeks already, Bob.
Speaker 20 (18:55):
Look it, I heard about your leg and I thought
i'd pay you a visit.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Well that's swellow you Jack. But how come you're sitting
in with less Brown's Orchestra.
Speaker 20 (19:01):
Well, just once, I wanted to play in a band
and not worry about the leader's breath taking the varnish
off my vial.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Well, you don't have to worry about less. Less hasn't
been high since Patrillo picked him up to Bourpen. But look,
it was awfully nice for you to drop in and
see me.
Speaker 8 (19:21):
Jack.
Speaker 20 (19:21):
Well, I was sorry to hear about your accident, Bob. Yeah,
it's a little uncomfortable. But the worst of it.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Is, whenever I hobble down the street, people keep throwing
money in my hat.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
They do.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
That's how embarrassing. That's terrible.
Speaker 8 (19:40):
I must be awful, Bob.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
How much do you average a block? Oh it varies,
but take my advice, Jack, stay away from Beverly Hills.
Nothing but dewey buttons. But I can't get over how
nice it is of you to drop in on me, Jack.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Well, Bob, that's the way it is with us troopers.
Speaker 20 (20:03):
You know, we show people have to stick together in
these times of trouble.
Speaker 8 (20:06):
Why, as soon as I.
Speaker 20 (20:06):
Heard of your accident, I rushed right over here to
be the first one at your side.
Speaker 8 (20:10):
Jack.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
You came over just to help me?
Speaker 20 (20:12):
Well, yes, yes, of course, if you buy the insurance
policy I have in mind, it helps me a little.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Too, Jack. Why are you selling insurance?
Speaker 20 (20:26):
Well, you see, it's a little early to start unloading
my line of Christmas cards.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, Jack, I don't get this. You're a wealthy man.
You're worth millions of dollars. Whoops selling insurance?
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Well if you got a sample policy, you can show
me there in your portfolio. Jack, did you hear that? No?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
No, I didn't hear anything.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
You sure you didn't hear that? Echo?
Speaker 13 (20:59):
No?
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Kid, this is your show. Well look, Jack, let's face it,
this is ridiculous. You don't have to sell insurance. You're
a star. They write about you in the Saturday Evening Post.
You're one of the outstanding comedians in show business, one
of them. You don't mind me throwing that in there?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Do you now?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
This is still your show? Oh but you're really great, Jack.
People stay at home on Sundays just to listen to
your radio show. I have so much more than Fred Allen.
Why should I fight?
Speaker 21 (21:40):
Say?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Wait a minute, that's my gag. I'll trade you for
the odele. What'll my sponsors say?
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
I swam, yes, sir?
Speaker 20 (21:52):
Wait a minute, ge wiz my goodness, and wait a minute,
I'll say orry ye, wait a minute, yes.
Speaker 15 (21:57):
Sir cracky, way out the.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Easy Jackieither we pedal the stuff this way or I
have to put on a pair of water wings and
sell it bathtub to bathtub.
Speaker 6 (22:16):
My next line is a hum dinger.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Bath's up to bathtub?
Speaker 20 (22:21):
Huh? I have trouble with my sponsor too. That's a dandylion, Thanks, Bob.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
I rehearsed four weeks for that line. Well, we were
going to give you something you could get your teeth into,
but we weren't sure you'd have them with you tonight.
Speaker 20 (22:48):
You wouldn't dare say that if you were still with
Pepsiden brother.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Power.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Let's get back to this stuff. Huh. We'll ever get
through with this tonight.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Look at you know, Bob, you know who handy? You
know who has the sweetest?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Page fifteen?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
You know who has the sweetest I'm not you know
who has a sweet lover?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Get off?
Speaker 10 (23:24):
I want to play the violin.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, wait a minute, wait a minute, are we still on?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
You know who has the sweetest?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Lack of radio? Don't you the disc jockey? This jockeys?
You mean one of those guys who says this next
record is sponsored by the Happy hunting Ground Funeral Home.
And now the Xtra plays he's a real gone guy.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
We haven't got time to wait.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
See why don't we try it? Please your laughs not mine?
Please say why don't we try our hand at being
this jockey jack? All we have to do is make
the rounds of the music shops and pick up a couple.
Speaker 20 (23:55):
Of hundred records. Well, I don't know, for free, shoot
the wax to me.
Speaker 10 (23:59):
Max.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Really great as a team of disc jockey says, it's
heying radio. I can just hear it.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Now, Good evening, ladies and Jesse when you are listening
to the station SLOV the biggest on the coast.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And No and now we.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Present Jazzy Jack, Benny and be Bob Bob in the
original radio record show Make Fee leave washroom.
Speaker 19 (24:21):
Hi a gang?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
All right, Dan, this is your old disc jockey b
Bob Bob with another knocked out record section. It's all
on wax and it's real mad. So you kids who
want to get your kicks, lace up your boots and
latch out of some of this frantic jibe that we're
gonna stand swinging your way right now, cats are like
to turn the mic over to a real help character,
the man who knows all the answers in the world
of jazz. That's Solid Jet, my platter partner, Jazzy Jack Benny.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Then Hot Body O Doe.
Speaker 10 (24:51):
Salid Jack.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
And now before we spend our next flight, a few kids,
we'd like to the next spin to half. Our show
is sponsored by Doctor Capstaff's weight Reducing Plant.
Speaker 20 (25:03):
We lack a word with those of you ladies who
weigh over four hundred pounds. You have the feeling that
you're being followed.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
You are, it's you and you met over four hundred punds.
Do you have large stomachs? When you gets your shoes shined,
you have to take the Bootblack's word for it.
Speaker 20 (25:20):
Why not try doctor capstaff weight reducing Bill.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yes, to take off those extra pounds, try doctor Capstaff's method.
No diet, no pills, no injections, no exercise. Once a week,
Doctor Capstaff's comes to your house and beats you with
a rubber hose. And now we're gonna play our first records,
a little tuone called I'm Dancing with Tears in my
eyes because the girl in my arms had onions for
dinner gonna be played.
Speaker 20 (25:38):
By Woody Gribbinus and as you should live so long
if you can.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Find the melody orchist bro hit it what he.
Speaker 10 (25:48):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Thanks Woody, that was great, Look be Bob. A bunch
of new releases A Jester Ross. Gee, that's some interesting titles.
Look at this when you used to be the cream
in my coffee, but now you're just grounds for divorce.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
All old of this one. If you were the only
girl in the world, I was the only boy.
Speaker 20 (26:03):
I wonder why I'd play handball with it?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
The why?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Here's my favorite hair of gold, eyes of blue, lips
like cherry wine. I never should have stopped on them
with my bare feet. Say suppose we play that one
right now?
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Okay, but first a word from our sponsor.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, this next record is coming to you through the
courtesy of Slushies, the only breakfast cereal that shot out
of a water pistol.
Speaker 20 (26:24):
Oh, you don't just love slushies. They don't snap, crackle
and pop like other breakfast cereals.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
They just lie there anud.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Mother's your cheer when you see the way your kids
dive into a bowl of slushies. They never come up again.
Listen to what one happy user of slushies has to say,
abb and.
Speaker 20 (26:41):
Eaton slushies for not on to thirty years, and I
want to tell you something.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I'm getting mighty tired. Thank you, f e spoon a
battle crick mission, Say Jack, what's next down the turntable? Oh,
the folks just love this one, Yes, sir, it's a
new release that features a duet by the fishing Young
Walkken violin as Benny Cabel scheme and that new.
Speaker 18 (27:01):
Cleveland singing discovery the velvet smile. Yeah, Oh, east is
east and west is west and the.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Wrong Walter I have toes.
Speaker 21 (27:22):
Let's go where you keep on wearing those bills and
flowers and buttons and bowls brings them.
Speaker 8 (27:27):
Things and buttons and bowls.
Speaker 21 (27:33):
Don't bury me in this prairie. Take me where the
sea man grows.
Speaker 20 (27:38):
Let's go town me.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Down where they love a gal by the cut of
her clothes, and you'll stand out in buttons and bowls.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Of practicing in our time.
Speaker 8 (27:50):
Please.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I love you and log shirt at your homestung, but
I love you longers longer where your friends don't.
Speaker 10 (27:59):
Go would have done.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
The UK four thousand the cactus hurts my tears. A
lets mam moose where gals keep using those silks and
sat and down Lennon that shows and you're wrong mine
in buttons and both. Thank you, Dan, You've been fine.
Speaker 13 (28:19):
That's right, Jack. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Next week, ladies and gentlemen, Jack, Wait a minute, Jack,
we have next week. It's all over, kids, pack up.
Speaker 10 (28:26):
Okay, we have another next week we have Morton Downey.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
Ladies and gentlemen that cook up.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Say okay, Jack, wait a minute, it's.
Speaker 13 (28:34):
All over Jack, Jack, wait off.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
The quite off a minute.
Speaker 21 (28:57):
Nimes for the memory of the vote in forty eight,
A chance to demonstrate whom we endorse to chart the course.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Of our US ship estates. Thank you very much, ladies
and gentlemen. We'd like to pay trivia to that fighting
man from Missouri who stepped into the ring last Tuesday
with the odds against him and came out the winner
and still champion of the USA. President Harry S.
Speaker 12 (29:18):
Truman Mirrormor on the wall is my hafairst of them all.
Speaker 8 (29:29):
It is when you use Rave cream shampoo. Rave leaves
your hair so clean, so soft, so easy to manage.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Easier to manage because the pure ano linen rave especially
bended with other important ingredients to make hair behave even
on shampoo day.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Try Rave cream shampoo r A y Ve Rave Cream shampoo.
Speaker 8 (29:50):
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
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