July 24, 2025 • 29 mins
A compilation of humorous shows ranging from slapstick sketches to witty banter and family sitcoms. This series highlights the timeless appeal of laughter and character-driven comedy.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mother, Is Maxwell House really the only coffee in.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
The world When your father says so, and your father knows.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Best, Yes, it's father knows best.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young his father. A half
hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you
by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House, the coffee that's always.
Speaker 5 (00:31):
Good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Extensive research has proved conclusively that there are two kinds
of husbands, One the husband who takes absolutely no interest
whatsoever in household affairs, and two, the husband whose wife
wishes he'd mind his own business and leave things alone.
In Springfield, in the white frame house on Maple Street,
Jim Anderson is about to demonstrate that there is no
(01:10):
happy medium like this.
Speaker 6 (01:13):
Six gaz into thirty six, six times six gas into
forty two seven times.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Kathy, why don't you stop that? You know mother has
a headache, but I have.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
To learn my six gazinas and Margaret, could I have
another cup of coffee? Please?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Of course, dear Bud, stop banging your feet on the table.
I wasn't banging my feet, mom, I was just holy cow,
look at the time, I gotta go. Come on, squirt, will.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Stop calling me.
Speaker 7 (01:42):
See you later, everybody.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
But uh, don't slam the door?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Good?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Did you call me?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Dad?
Speaker 5 (01:50):
Never mind?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Okay, Mother, Why don't you lie down for a while.
Speaker 7 (01:59):
I'll take here the dishes.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Well that's very sweet, Betty, but it isn't necessary.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Well, all right, I'll come right home in case you
need me for anything.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Alright, dear by father?
Speaker 8 (02:09):
Good?
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Why Betty? Your head's still aching?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Honey, No, it's really nothing, Jim. I don't know why
everybody makes such a fuss over a little headache. You
think I were dying?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Margaret? Yes, dear, you know you haven't been looking very
well lately.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Oh that's a pleasant way to start the day. How
to cheer up your wife in six easy lessons. I.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I don't mean you look that bad. I mean you
just look.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So tired, Jim Darling. In five years, i'll be forty
and then you can swap me in for two twenties.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Margaret, I'm being very serious about this. If you want
to treat it as a joke.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
All right, dear, I'll try and be more respectful. Where
was I You were telling me I looked like an
old hag?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Well, uh, that's not what I said. At all.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I'm sorry a young hag, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I'm merely trying to be helpful.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I think I know why you're tired, and I believe
I have the answer to the whole problem.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
You're going to shoot the children, Well.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
That had occurred to me, but I think I have
a better idea. What you need is a housekeeper.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh, Jim, don't be ridiculous.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
I don't see anything ridiculous about it at all.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
The Gilroys have a housekeeper, and I sell three times
as much insurance as he does.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Jim. It's not a question of how much insurance you sell.
We don't need a housekeeper. And where would she sleep
or haven't you thought of that? Of course I.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Thought of that. She can sleep in the den on
the rollway.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Bed, Jim. I don't want a housekeeper.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Then when people like the Edwards come over for dinner,
they wouldn't be all the fuss and worry.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Jim. Yes, dear, who are the Edwards?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Harry and Grace Edwards. You remember them, don't you. We
met them at the Hathaways last week. He's the little
stocky fellow with the red face President of the Chamber
of Commerce.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Remember, And they're coming to dinner when.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Tomorrow night didn't I tell you, I could have.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Sworn, Jim, is there any connection between the Edwards and
his sudden passion for a housekeeper?
Speaker 5 (04:11):
Of course not.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I just thought, well, you've been working so hard and
you have a headache.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And there isn't any reason for wanting to impress mister Edwards,
is there? Or missus Edwards?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Margaret, I just finished telling you that the whole thing well,
after all, Edwards is the head of the Chamber of Commerce,
and there's an opening on the board, and.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Bert Gilroy's trying to get it.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Well, the Edwards had dinner with the gilroy and the.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Gilroys have a housekeeper, so you thought if we blossomed
forth with the housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Margaret, being on the Chamber of Commerce is a very
great honor. I certainly think that it's worth a small expenditure.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Of time and energy.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Jim. Yes, Margaret, no housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Well, if you'd only listen to me instead of flying
off the handle.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I'm not flying off the handle. I'm merely telling you, simply,
quietly and without emotion. No housekeeper.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Uh, there was an ad in the paper only last night.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
No housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
All she wanted was seventy five dollars a month, and
she'll take complete charge.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
No housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
She's courteous, efficient, energetice, loyal, no wonderful cook. Nita's a
pen loves children, Margaret, Why don't you give her a trial? No, honey,
that this isn't something you can decide on the spur
of the moment.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Why don't you think it over?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Alright? I I can't see any harm in that.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
That's a good girl.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Well, I've got to go now.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
I'll call you right after lunch.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Alright, dear, Oh Jim, I thought it over, Margaret. No housekeeper?
Speaker 8 (05:56):
Is that you?
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Jim?
Speaker 5 (05:57):
Yes, there, I'm home. Just to put your things down
there for a minute, Missus Collins.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Okay, nice looking place, ain't it.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Well? It's uh, it's comfortable, and the.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Children are all upstairs, and as soon as you're ready,
we'll have well.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Hello, Hi, Margaret, this is missus Collins.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Oh, how do you do? Well?
Speaker 5 (06:28):
To tell you the truth?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I ain't doing so good. My faith death killing me
and I got a pain in my back that I
wouldn't wish one of my first husband, I.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
See, Jim, would you come out into the kitchen with
me for a moment, I'd like to speak to you.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Hey, you got a piano. Ah that nice's like a
house where they got a piano show culture, and that's
one thing I'm just nuts about.
Speaker 7 (07:04):
It's cold.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Well, Uh, just to make yourself at home. Missus Collins.
Will only be a minute.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh it's okay. You don't have to worry about me.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
I got plenty of tack, Jim Anderson, I'll wait a minute, Margaret,
I can explain the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I don't want any explanation. And I don't want a housekeeper.
I told you this morning. But Honey, I I hired
her last night.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
I thought you'd be very happy.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Oh I am. I'm the happiest woman in the whole world.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
And I want you to get that person out.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Of my house.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
Oh look, Angel, it isn't worth quarreling about nothing, is I.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Know, Jim, but our home's too small for a housekeeper.
We don't need.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
One, Margaret.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Missus Collins can be a great help, don't you see, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
She's a diamond in the rough. Missus Collins is very competent.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Why in one year she worked for nine of the
best families in Springfield, only nine.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
She certainly gets a wrong, doesn't she.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Well, they just didn't understand her. With a little training,
she can be one of the best housekeepers in the
whole town. She said so herself.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Jim, if we ever take a trip to New York,
would you promise me one thing. Don't pay more than
fifty dollars for the Brooklyn Bridge.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Hey, he's talking yet, it's getting late. I gotta get dinner.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Rolling, Missus Collins. I've been talking to my husband.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Now, why don't you talk to him in the parlor.
Speaker 7 (08:51):
I'd time to think a dinner time, and I got
work to do. Hey, I I'm kitchen Jim.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
All right, Margaret, Missus Collins, I'm awfully sorry, but we've
decided that well, after all, you.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Really won't be comfortable sleeping in the day.
Speaker 7 (09:07):
You're just worrying about it with you. I got it
all figured out. We can move. I'll watch your boy's name,
you mean bud, Hey, you bad?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
We can switch him into the den. I move into
his room and everybody's happy.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It's not quite that simple, Missus Collins. I told my
husband this morning.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yay, wait a minute, when you've been eating breakfast.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Well eight o'clock. But it really isn't going to make
any difference.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Because from now on breakfast it's going to be at
seven o'clock.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Now, see here, missus Collins waiting, This.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Is becoming very interesting. What else, missus Colin.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
Well, I nobody's personal maid.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
So everybody hangs up his own stuff. And if I
find any pants hanging on the back of a chair, well,
don't be the price.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
If I just chuck him out the window.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Well, don't look at me, Margaret, I don't leave my
pants on the chair.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No, go ahead, miss I think I'm beginning to like
the whole idea.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Well, I don't mind if you're on five folks for dinner.
A matter of fact, I like company, but I gotta
have forty eight hours.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Notice that seems logical.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Wait a minute, what if it's impossible. What if somebody
comes in from out of town?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
We take them to a restaurant. There's lots of restaurants
in Spring here, Margaret, if.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You think I'm gonna stand here, Jim, please, missus Collins
was talking.
Speaker 7 (10:25):
Oh that's okay, I've finished anyway. Now, why don't you
two kids.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Just go inside and relax and I'll start fishing up.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
The food, all right, missus Collins.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Come on, kid, Margaret, this is the most ridiculous thing
I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
If you think I'm going to Jim, you heard Missus Collins.
We've got to go inside and relax.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
That's right, Take it easy. I got everything under control.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Come on, Jim, Missus Collins has work to do.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
Margaret. That woman's impossible.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Oh I don't think so, dear. She's a diamond in
the rough, remember.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
But how rough can you get? She wasn't anything like
that when I talked to her last night.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Well, we'll try it for a while. That's what you want,
isn't it, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
I'm going into the kitchen and fire her right now.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Why, Jim, that wouldn't be fair. She's worked for nine
of the finest families in Springfield, and with the Edwards coming.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
To dinner, No, she can't be around then.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Wasn't that the general idea? We've got to impress the Edwards,
and unless I'm very much mistaken, they'll be impressed.
Speaker 9 (11:34):
Oh, Margaret, can't we Hey, jam, Jim, get to get
down so.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Well?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I was quite an about phase for mother Anderson. If
only father had talked to her first, there wouldn't have
been any argument, and the way things are going, it
doesn't look as though she'll brook any arguments from father,
and I don't think I'll run into any argument on
this point. I say, when you buy coffee, just one
thing means real value. It's flavor, the flavor you get
(12:25):
for your money. An extra flavor is what you do
get in our Maxwell House coffee, that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor. No other coffee has to offer,
no coffee but Maxwell House.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
And here's why that's so.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
It's our recipe, the only recipe under the sun, for
that good to the.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Last drop flavor.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
It calls for certain fine varieties of coffee blended together
a very particular way. It's the one way, the one
recipe for that famous Maxwell House flavor, that extra flavor
that's made our coffee's favorite brand. So today, when you
really want the most in flavor for every penny you spend,
(13:07):
Maxwell House is now more than ever your coffee buy.
Just open up that familiar blue tin of Maxwell House tomorrow.
See how much enjoyment, how much real value, you get
from the coffee that's always good.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
To the last drop.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
A day has passed, as days have a habit of doing.
And once again it's dinner time and the white frame
house on Maple Street. This time, however, it's a special
dinner with company, the children stashed away in the breakfast nook,
and a uniform housekeeper to wait on table. Mister Edwards,
president of the Springfield Chamber of Commerce.
Speaker 10 (13:50):
Says, in the last four years Anderson Bank clearances in
the greatest Springfield area have increased a total of almost
nine point two percent.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
And that's furbish, to.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Which Demand replies, it certainly is, mister Edwards. That's uh
progress if I ever heard it, at which point the
new housekeeper, Missus Collins, observed, Now, why.
Speaker 7 (14:07):
Don't you too stop gabbing and eat your.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Sou Missus Collins, I think I smell something burning in
the kitchen to.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Your imagination, Dear, everything's all cooked, thank Jim.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Yes, Missus Collins, h is it all right?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Could I take off this funny looking calf? I don't
mind the uniform, but this hat's driving me nuts.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Missus Collins, why don't you wait in the kitchen until
we call you?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I can't hear.
Speaker 7 (14:38):
Anything in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 7 (14:41):
Talk about me?
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Go ahead?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I don't wine. I think you'd better go into the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Okay, that's the way you honest you finished.
Speaker 7 (14:49):
Missus Edwards. Yes, thank you luck Darry.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
If I was you, i'd lay off the bread well
a shape like yours.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
That's murder.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Well really, Missus Collins, will you please go into the kitchen?
Speaker 7 (15:20):
Okay, I can take a hand.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Yeah, I'm sorry, mister Edwards. You were saying something about progress.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
I was, Oh, yes, yes I was.
Speaker 10 (15:35):
Wasn't I think have the Chamber of Commas Fields that
its contribution to the progress of greatest Springfield are.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Okay, keep right on, mister Edwards.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
It's very interesting what it well, whatever you were going
to say?
Speaker 11 (15:54):
Oh Bessy, Hey, wait a minute, my.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Head bolt this for me?
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What's cliff fas?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Hasn't the weather's been beautiful? Missus Edwards.
Speaker 10 (16:08):
I haven't noticed, really, when you're as busy as I am,
you know love work and charity. Ye, yes, indeed, the
Grace managers to keep yourself pretty busy, and so I
have to make an appointment to see her myself.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
You don't have any children, do you, mister Edwards.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
No, I'm sorry to say, Missus Edwards, and I have
never been bssed.
Speaker 7 (16:31):
That was my Casabeki on the phone.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
She did the scream.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I'm sure she must be Missus Collins, and I believe
we're ready for the next course. You know, she's just
telling me, Missus Collins, were ready for the next course.
Speaker 7 (16:44):
Okay, I heard.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You, mother when I finished my dessert me. I don't
that you get back inside where you belong. Can't you
see we got company?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
That's the trouble with kids nowadays. They don't know their plate.
Shot you a plan over with.
Speaker 8 (17:03):
Your Jim, I'll answered, MSUs Collins.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Now you stay right where you are. Why do you
think you're paying me forward?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
That's a reasonable question, isn't it, Jim?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Okay, okay, I'm coming.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
Indeed, you get a couple of kids in the house
and you will oh.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Nicky, yes, indeed I did.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Huh what did it pay?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Sixty forty?
Speaker 7 (17:41):
Hey, that's all right.
Speaker 11 (17:44):
Okay, look now put me down for five on little
Jeff in the fourth of pay man on tomorrow. Yeah,
little Jeff five bucks, get a win, okay, Man, I'll
give you a grown tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (18:02):
Well.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Missus Collins has an endless assortment of talents, hasn't she Jim.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
All right, Margaret, you don't have to rub it in.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Just a little Jim my husband brought home for polishing.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Missus Anderson, I'm afraid that we.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
All right at sixty forty for two. I sure can pickle.
Speaker 11 (18:21):
Hey, any your kids play the racist.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Harry. I have an awful headache.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
I know the way I feel. A headache would be
a relief.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Missus Collins, if nothing more important comes up in the
next few minutes, could we please have some food?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Okay, but you'll take it from me.
Speaker 7 (18:41):
You're skipping a good thing if you miss little Jeff
and the.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Fourth tomorrow, Missus Collins, if you don't hurry up, we'll
be ready to eat Little Jeff tonight.
Speaker 11 (18:50):
To say, that's phrase for roast beef is coming up.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Good Night, Missus Anderson. It was a lovely evening.
Speaker 5 (19:13):
One I'll never forget.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Oh, I'm sure of that.
Speaker 10 (19:18):
Good Night Anderson and Missus Anderson, it was well.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Good night, good night, sir.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
We'll uh have to get together again real soon. Yes see, yes, yes,
sometime soon.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Good night, quiet, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Margot?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I uh, I don't know what to say. I was
wrong and I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
I think that woman's insane, No, dear, she's.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Just well uninhibited. She likes to speak her mind.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
What mind?
Speaker 4 (19:54):
She's got the brain of a half witted Hyaena, And
if she had the least bit of decency, she'd give
it back.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Jim, what did you see the looks on Missus Edward's
face when Colins told her she needed a new girdle?
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Oh that was nothing. You should have seen Edwards when
she told him he could use one.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Too, Jim, I can't but I think they were the
stun these people I've ever met.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
She told Edwards. She said she to.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Everybody have a good time.
Speaker 7 (20:32):
What I like people laughing, enjoying themselves.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
You live longer that way.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Missus Collins, I'd like to speak to you if I may.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Fox Nice Donnie, go ahead, kid, Thank you, Missus Collins.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
I'm not usually one to complain.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
But complain, well, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
If if you'd have got a beat, come and just
spread a ride out.
Speaker 7 (20:58):
That's the way it ought to be.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Everything out in the and all the cards right out
there on the table, rights, Stan, I don't go up
with a stabbing in the back.
Speaker 7 (21:04):
Rotine.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
You got any complaints, I want to hear them. It's
your house. I'm working for you at anything you don't like.
All you gotta do is just tell me hot Jim.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You'll wake the children.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Look, you don't have to yell at me.
Speaker 7 (21:17):
Just talk and I'll listen.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Missus Collins.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
There are a great many things I could say, and
a great many ways in which I could say them.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
But since all of the things I.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Have to say and all of the ways in which
I would say them add up to one in the
self same thing, I say to you now from the
very bottom of my heart.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
You are fired, Jim. Ye on my whole life. That's
the nicest way I ever got canned. Well, I gotta
go to bed just.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
A moment, Missus Collins. I'm afraid you don't understand my
husband fired you. You don't work here anymore.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I know I ain't deep, but I still got to
go to sleep.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
You will not sleep here, Missus Collins.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
We want you to go away now. If you're discharged.
You're the most discharged person we've ever had.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
In this house. Now, will you please pack up your
things and get out?
Speaker 7 (22:14):
Jim, I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
A smart man like you, with a nice home and
a nice family.
Speaker 7 (22:21):
Why you want to know more about the law. You
can't fire me. I gotta have a week's notice.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
I'm giving you a week's notice. I'll pay your wages
for a whole week only. Please go away.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
But I like it here. And it ain't just the wages, Jim,
I'm supposed to get room and board.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
I'll give you two weeks wages.
Speaker 7 (22:44):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
He got a piano and I can call my bookie
on the phone, and it's like a vacation with paid.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Margaret, missus Collins. Is there anything I can do too? Sure?
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Call me what breakfast?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
He's ready?
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Welcome morning, Margaret.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yes, Dear.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
When they start giving out awards for the world's prize idiot,
be sure and tell them about me.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh, Jim Darling, you're an idiot, but you'd never take
any prize.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
I certainly would.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Well. I won't argue, dear, After all, Father knows best.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Well.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Father certainly plunged into that head over heels. How sorry
he is, just goes to show it always pays to.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Look before you leap.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
On that score, when it comes to buying a pound
of coffee, it certainly pays to look for flavor.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
The most in flavor for every penny you spend.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
After all, flavor is what you're paying for, and we
don't think you can beat the famous flavor we pack
into every pound of Maxwell House.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
But here's my point.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Air can steal coffee flavor, and ordinary containers like paper
bags can't prevent roasted coffee from losing flavor, whether it's.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Ground or whole bean.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
That's why we take our Maxwell House fresh and fragrant
from the roasting ovens and carefully vacuum packet in the
familiar blue tin. It's the only way you're guaranteed coffee
that's fresh and full flavored as the hour it was roasted.
So be sure you get all the flavor and fragrance
you pay for your money's worth, and more. You always
(24:41):
will with Maxwell House Coffee, always good.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
To the last drop.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
This world is not so bad a world as some
would like to make it. The weather good or weather
depends on how we take it. A week's gone by
and we find Jim Anderson walking along a busy street
in downtown Springfield. The Chamber of Commerce is still dear
to his heart, and he's not what you call a
particularly happy man.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
Like this that serves me right.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
That's what it does, make a fool of myself in
front of Edwards, spoil my chances of getting on the board.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
Gosh, I wanted that spot on the Chamber of Commerce.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
The speeches I could have made about important things too,
Why I could have said things like ladies and gentlemen.
It's an established fact that everybody wants a different thing,
a farm, a store, a college education for their children,
or maybe they just want to retire and go fishing.
But there's one thing everybody wants, security, and there's one way,
(25:48):
one sure way, for each and every one of us
to get it. Save for your independence by United States
Savings bonds.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
That's what I could have told them. I could have said,
buy bonds all ramatically.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
If you can on the payroll savings plan or the
bond a month plan at your bank. They're like cash
on hand, and they return you four dollars for every
three dollars you invest. Buy a United States savings save
for your independence and start now. Then I could have said,
I say anything, hum hm oh, hello, mister Edwards.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
I didn't see it.
Speaker 10 (26:21):
I thought if you went in any great hurry, we
might take a stroll together. Little matter has come up
that I'd like to discuss with you.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Why, of course, mister Edwards. It'll be a very great pleasure,
you know, Edison.
Speaker 10 (26:33):
We never did get down to a discussion of business
at your house the other night.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Mister Edwards. I wanted to explain about that. You see.
Speaker 10 (26:41):
Jut, jut, my boy, No need to explain.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
I unders then completely.
Speaker 10 (26:46):
As you know, Anderson, there's a vacancy on the board
of the Chamber of Commerce, and well yours.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
You want it if I want it? Why, mister Edwards.
Of course I want it, and thank you very much.
Nothing nothing, nothing at all.
Speaker 10 (27:01):
Tell me Anderson that missus Collins she still with you.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
No, he finally got rid of her this morning. That's
too bad.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Oh, I don't think we could have taken it another day.
She had the whole family waiting on her hand and
foot all week.
Speaker 10 (27:19):
I see you see you were You wouldn't know how
I could.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
Get in touch with it, Oh I might. I think
she left the forwarding address with Margaret.
Speaker 10 (27:30):
But why well, I wouldn't want this to get around Dan.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
Well, of course not. I won't say a word.
Speaker 10 (27:37):
Well, I followed that bit of advice Missus Collins gave.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
Me about little Jeff you know, and I won sixty
food dollars.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Did you know?
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Now there's an instant coffee with roaster fresh pure coffee flavor.
It's Instant Maxwell House, the instant coffee with the famous flavor,
the happiest combination in coffee, wonderful, good to the last
drop flavor, combined with a convenience and thrift of coffee
made instantly in the cup.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
Unlike most instant.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Coffees, it's all rich, pure coffee, nothing added. Tomorrow, try
the instant coffee with a famous flavor, Instant Maxwell House,
instantly good to the last drop. Join us again next
week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring
(28:42):
Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargey and the
Maxwell House Orchestra and Yours truly, Bill Forman.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Don't forget.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Membership cards for the Robert Young Good Drivers Club are
waiting for you at your local NBC station. Get a
man to man or dad to daughter pledge and sign
up today.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Be a good good driver.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Get your membership card in the Robert Young Good Driver's
Club today now until next Thursday. Good night and good
luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand
of coffee. Always good to the last drop, Father Knows Best,
was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now
(29:21):
stay tuned for screen Gill Theater, which follows immediately over
most of these stations.
Speaker 10 (29:30):
Yes, this is your invitation to stay tuned for screen
Gill Theater next on NBC.
Mother, Is Maxwell House really the only coffee in.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
The world When your father says so, and your father knows.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Best, Yes, it's father knows best.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young his father. A half
hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you
by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House, the coffee that's always.
Speaker 5 (00:31):
Good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Extensive research has proved conclusively that there are two kinds
of husbands, One the husband who takes absolutely no interest
whatsoever in household affairs, and two, the husband whose wife
wishes he'd mind his own business and leave things alone.
In Springfield, in the white frame house on Maple Street,
Jim Anderson is about to demonstrate that there is no
(01:10):
happy medium like this.
Speaker 6 (01:13):
Six gaz into thirty six, six times six gas into
forty two seven times.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Kathy, why don't you stop that? You know mother has
a headache, but I have.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
To learn my six gazinas and Margaret, could I have
another cup of coffee? Please?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Of course, dear Bud, stop banging your feet on the table.
I wasn't banging my feet, mom, I was just holy cow,
look at the time, I gotta go. Come on, squirt, will.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Stop calling me.
Speaker 7 (01:42):
See you later, everybody.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
But uh, don't slam the door?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Good?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Did you call me?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Dad?
Speaker 5 (01:50):
Never mind?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Okay, Mother, Why don't you lie down for a while.
Speaker 7 (01:59):
I'll take here the dishes.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Well that's very sweet, Betty, but it isn't necessary.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Well, all right, I'll come right home in case you
need me for anything.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Alright, dear by father?
Speaker 8 (02:09):
Good?
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Why Betty? Your head's still aching?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Honey, No, it's really nothing, Jim. I don't know why
everybody makes such a fuss over a little headache. You
think I were dying?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Margaret? Yes, dear, you know you haven't been looking very
well lately.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Oh that's a pleasant way to start the day. How
to cheer up your wife in six easy lessons. I.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I don't mean you look that bad. I mean you
just look.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So tired, Jim Darling. In five years, i'll be forty
and then you can swap me in for two twenties.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Margaret, I'm being very serious about this. If you want
to treat it as a joke.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
All right, dear, I'll try and be more respectful. Where
was I You were telling me I looked like an
old hag?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Well, uh, that's not what I said. At all.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I'm sorry a young hag, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I'm merely trying to be helpful.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I think I know why you're tired, and I believe
I have the answer to the whole problem.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
You're going to shoot the children, Well.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
That had occurred to me, but I think I have
a better idea. What you need is a housekeeper.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh, Jim, don't be ridiculous.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
I don't see anything ridiculous about it at all.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
The Gilroys have a housekeeper, and I sell three times
as much insurance as he does.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Jim. It's not a question of how much insurance you sell.
We don't need a housekeeper. And where would she sleep
or haven't you thought of that? Of course I.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Thought of that. She can sleep in the den on
the rollway.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Bed, Jim. I don't want a housekeeper.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Then when people like the Edwards come over for dinner,
they wouldn't be all the fuss and worry.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Jim. Yes, dear, who are the Edwards?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Harry and Grace Edwards. You remember them, don't you. We
met them at the Hathaways last week. He's the little
stocky fellow with the red face President of the Chamber
of Commerce.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Remember, And they're coming to dinner when.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Tomorrow night didn't I tell you, I could have.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Sworn, Jim, is there any connection between the Edwards and
his sudden passion for a housekeeper?
Speaker 5 (04:11):
Of course not.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I just thought, well, you've been working so hard and
you have a headache.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And there isn't any reason for wanting to impress mister Edwards,
is there? Or missus Edwards?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Margaret, I just finished telling you that the whole thing well,
after all, Edwards is the head of the Chamber of Commerce,
and there's an opening on the board, and.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Bert Gilroy's trying to get it.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Well, the Edwards had dinner with the gilroy and the.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Gilroys have a housekeeper, so you thought if we blossomed
forth with the housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Margaret, being on the Chamber of Commerce is a very
great honor. I certainly think that it's worth a small expenditure.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Of time and energy.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Jim. Yes, Margaret, no housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Well, if you'd only listen to me instead of flying
off the handle.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I'm not flying off the handle. I'm merely telling you, simply,
quietly and without emotion. No housekeeper.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Uh, there was an ad in the paper only last night.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
No housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
All she wanted was seventy five dollars a month, and
she'll take complete charge.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
No housekeeper.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
She's courteous, efficient, energetice, loyal, no wonderful cook. Nita's a
pen loves children, Margaret, Why don't you give her a trial? No, honey,
that this isn't something you can decide on the spur
of the moment.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Why don't you think it over?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Alright? I I can't see any harm in that.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
That's a good girl.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Well, I've got to go now.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
I'll call you right after lunch.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Alright, dear, Oh Jim, I thought it over, Margaret. No housekeeper?
Speaker 8 (05:56):
Is that you?
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Jim?
Speaker 5 (05:57):
Yes, there, I'm home. Just to put your things down
there for a minute, Missus Collins.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Okay, nice looking place, ain't it.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Well? It's uh, it's comfortable, and the.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Children are all upstairs, and as soon as you're ready,
we'll have well.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Hello, Hi, Margaret, this is missus Collins.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Oh, how do you do? Well?
Speaker 5 (06:28):
To tell you the truth?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I ain't doing so good. My faith death killing me
and I got a pain in my back that I
wouldn't wish one of my first husband, I.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
See, Jim, would you come out into the kitchen with
me for a moment, I'd like to speak to you.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Hey, you got a piano. Ah that nice's like a
house where they got a piano show culture, and that's
one thing I'm just nuts about.
Speaker 7 (07:04):
It's cold.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Well, Uh, just to make yourself at home. Missus Collins.
Will only be a minute.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh it's okay. You don't have to worry about me.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
I got plenty of tack, Jim Anderson, I'll wait a minute, Margaret,
I can explain the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I don't want any explanation. And I don't want a housekeeper.
I told you this morning. But Honey, I I hired
her last night.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
I thought you'd be very happy.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Oh I am. I'm the happiest woman in the whole world.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
And I want you to get that person out.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Of my house.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
Oh look, Angel, it isn't worth quarreling about nothing, is I.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Know, Jim, but our home's too small for a housekeeper.
We don't need.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
One, Margaret.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Missus Collins can be a great help, don't you see, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
She's a diamond in the rough. Missus Collins is very competent.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Why in one year she worked for nine of the
best families in Springfield, only nine.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
She certainly gets a wrong, doesn't she.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Well, they just didn't understand her. With a little training,
she can be one of the best housekeepers in the
whole town. She said so herself.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Jim, if we ever take a trip to New York,
would you promise me one thing. Don't pay more than
fifty dollars for the Brooklyn Bridge.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Hey, he's talking yet, it's getting late. I gotta get dinner.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Rolling, Missus Collins. I've been talking to my husband.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Now, why don't you talk to him in the parlor.
Speaker 7 (08:51):
I'd time to think a dinner time, and I got
work to do. Hey, I I'm kitchen Jim.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
All right, Margaret, Missus Collins, I'm awfully sorry, but we've
decided that well, after all, you.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Really won't be comfortable sleeping in the day.
Speaker 7 (09:07):
You're just worrying about it with you. I got it
all figured out. We can move. I'll watch your boy's name,
you mean bud, Hey, you bad?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
We can switch him into the den. I move into
his room and everybody's happy.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It's not quite that simple, Missus Collins. I told my
husband this morning.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yay, wait a minute, when you've been eating breakfast.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Well eight o'clock. But it really isn't going to make
any difference.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Because from now on breakfast it's going to be at
seven o'clock.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Now, see here, missus Collins waiting, This.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Is becoming very interesting. What else, missus Colin.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
Well, I nobody's personal maid.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
So everybody hangs up his own stuff. And if I
find any pants hanging on the back of a chair, well,
don't be the price.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
If I just chuck him out the window.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Well, don't look at me, Margaret, I don't leave my
pants on the chair.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No, go ahead, miss I think I'm beginning to like
the whole idea.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Well, I don't mind if you're on five folks for dinner.
A matter of fact, I like company, but I gotta
have forty eight hours.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Notice that seems logical.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Wait a minute, what if it's impossible. What if somebody
comes in from out of town?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
We take them to a restaurant. There's lots of restaurants
in Spring here, Margaret, if.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You think I'm gonna stand here, Jim, please, missus Collins
was talking.
Speaker 7 (10:25):
Oh that's okay, I've finished anyway. Now, why don't you
two kids.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Just go inside and relax and I'll start fishing up.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
The food, all right, missus Collins.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Come on, kid, Margaret, this is the most ridiculous thing
I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
If you think I'm going to Jim, you heard Missus Collins.
We've got to go inside and relax.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
That's right, Take it easy. I got everything under control.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Come on, Jim, Missus Collins has work to do.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
Margaret. That woman's impossible.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Oh I don't think so, dear. She's a diamond in
the rough, remember.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
But how rough can you get? She wasn't anything like
that when I talked to her last night.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Well, we'll try it for a while. That's what you want,
isn't it, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
I'm going into the kitchen and fire her right now.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Why, Jim, that wouldn't be fair. She's worked for nine
of the finest families in Springfield, and with the Edwards coming.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
To dinner, No, she can't be around then.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Wasn't that the general idea? We've got to impress the Edwards,
and unless I'm very much mistaken, they'll be impressed.
Speaker 9 (11:34):
Oh, Margaret, can't we Hey, jam, Jim, get to get
down so.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Well?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I was quite an about phase for mother Anderson. If
only father had talked to her first, there wouldn't have
been any argument, and the way things are going, it
doesn't look as though she'll brook any arguments from father,
and I don't think I'll run into any argument on
this point. I say, when you buy coffee, just one
thing means real value. It's flavor, the flavor you get
(12:25):
for your money. An extra flavor is what you do
get in our Maxwell House coffee, that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor. No other coffee has to offer,
no coffee but Maxwell House.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
And here's why that's so.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
It's our recipe, the only recipe under the sun, for
that good to the.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Last drop flavor.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
It calls for certain fine varieties of coffee blended together
a very particular way. It's the one way, the one
recipe for that famous Maxwell House flavor, that extra flavor
that's made our coffee's favorite brand. So today, when you
really want the most in flavor for every penny you spend,
(13:07):
Maxwell House is now more than ever your coffee buy.
Just open up that familiar blue tin of Maxwell House tomorrow.
See how much enjoyment, how much real value, you get
from the coffee that's always good.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
To the last drop.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
A day has passed, as days have a habit of doing.
And once again it's dinner time and the white frame
house on Maple Street. This time, however, it's a special
dinner with company, the children stashed away in the breakfast nook,
and a uniform housekeeper to wait on table. Mister Edwards,
president of the Springfield Chamber of Commerce.
Speaker 10 (13:50):
Says, in the last four years Anderson Bank clearances in
the greatest Springfield area have increased a total of almost
nine point two percent.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
And that's furbish, to.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Which Demand replies, it certainly is, mister Edwards. That's uh
progress if I ever heard it, at which point the
new housekeeper, Missus Collins, observed, Now, why.
Speaker 7 (14:07):
Don't you too stop gabbing and eat your.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Sou Missus Collins, I think I smell something burning in
the kitchen to.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Your imagination, Dear, everything's all cooked, thank Jim.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Yes, Missus Collins, h is it all right?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Could I take off this funny looking calf? I don't
mind the uniform, but this hat's driving me nuts.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Missus Collins, why don't you wait in the kitchen until
we call you?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I can't hear.
Speaker 7 (14:38):
Anything in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 7 (14:41):
Talk about me?
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Go ahead?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I don't wine. I think you'd better go into the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Okay, that's the way you honest you finished.
Speaker 7 (14:49):
Missus Edwards. Yes, thank you luck Darry.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
If I was you, i'd lay off the bread well
a shape like yours.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
That's murder.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Well really, Missus Collins, will you please go into the kitchen?
Speaker 7 (15:20):
Okay, I can take a hand.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Yeah, I'm sorry, mister Edwards. You were saying something about progress.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
I was, Oh, yes, yes I was.
Speaker 10 (15:35):
Wasn't I think have the Chamber of Commas Fields that
its contribution to the progress of greatest Springfield are.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Okay, keep right on, mister Edwards.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
It's very interesting what it well, whatever you were going
to say?
Speaker 11 (15:54):
Oh Bessy, Hey, wait a minute, my.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Head bolt this for me?
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What's cliff fas?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Hasn't the weather's been beautiful? Missus Edwards.
Speaker 10 (16:08):
I haven't noticed, really, when you're as busy as I am,
you know love work and charity. Ye, yes, indeed, the
Grace managers to keep yourself pretty busy, and so I
have to make an appointment to see her myself.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
You don't have any children, do you, mister Edwards.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
No, I'm sorry to say, Missus Edwards, and I have
never been bssed.
Speaker 7 (16:31):
That was my Casabeki on the phone.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
She did the scream.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I'm sure she must be Missus Collins, and I believe
we're ready for the next course. You know, she's just
telling me, Missus Collins, were ready for the next course.
Speaker 7 (16:44):
Okay, I heard.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You, mother when I finished my dessert me. I don't
that you get back inside where you belong. Can't you
see we got company?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
That's the trouble with kids nowadays. They don't know their plate.
Shot you a plan over with.
Speaker 8 (17:03):
Your Jim, I'll answered, MSUs Collins.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Now you stay right where you are. Why do you
think you're paying me forward?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
That's a reasonable question, isn't it, Jim?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Okay, okay, I'm coming.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
Indeed, you get a couple of kids in the house
and you will oh.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Nicky, yes, indeed I did.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Huh what did it pay?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Sixty forty?
Speaker 7 (17:41):
Hey, that's all right.
Speaker 11 (17:44):
Okay, look now put me down for five on little
Jeff in the fourth of pay man on tomorrow. Yeah,
little Jeff five bucks, get a win, okay, Man, I'll
give you a grown tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (18:02):
Well.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Missus Collins has an endless assortment of talents, hasn't she Jim.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
All right, Margaret, you don't have to rub it in.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Just a little Jim my husband brought home for polishing.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Missus Anderson, I'm afraid that we.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
All right at sixty forty for two. I sure can pickle.
Speaker 11 (18:21):
Hey, any your kids play the racist.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Harry. I have an awful headache.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
I know the way I feel. A headache would be
a relief.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Missus Collins, if nothing more important comes up in the
next few minutes, could we please have some food?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Okay, but you'll take it from me.
Speaker 7 (18:41):
You're skipping a good thing if you miss little Jeff
and the.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Fourth tomorrow, Missus Collins, if you don't hurry up, we'll
be ready to eat Little Jeff tonight.
Speaker 11 (18:50):
To say, that's phrase for roast beef is coming up.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Good Night, Missus Anderson. It was a lovely evening.
Speaker 5 (19:13):
One I'll never forget.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Oh, I'm sure of that.
Speaker 10 (19:18):
Good Night Anderson and Missus Anderson, it was well.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Good night, good night, sir.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
We'll uh have to get together again real soon. Yes see, yes, yes,
sometime soon.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Good night, quiet, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Margot?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I uh, I don't know what to say. I was
wrong and I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
I think that woman's insane, No, dear, she's.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Just well uninhibited. She likes to speak her mind.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
What mind?
Speaker 4 (19:54):
She's got the brain of a half witted Hyaena, And
if she had the least bit of decency, she'd give
it back.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Jim, what did you see the looks on Missus Edward's
face when Colins told her she needed a new girdle?
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Oh that was nothing. You should have seen Edwards when
she told him he could use one.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Too, Jim, I can't but I think they were the
stun these people I've ever met.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
She told Edwards. She said she to.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Everybody have a good time.
Speaker 7 (20:32):
What I like people laughing, enjoying themselves.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
You live longer that way.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Missus Collins, I'd like to speak to you if I may.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Fox Nice Donnie, go ahead, kid, Thank you, Missus Collins.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
I'm not usually one to complain.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
But complain, well, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
If if you'd have got a beat, come and just
spread a ride out.
Speaker 7 (20:58):
That's the way it ought to be.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Everything out in the and all the cards right out
there on the table, rights, Stan, I don't go up
with a stabbing in the back.
Speaker 7 (21:04):
Rotine.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
You got any complaints, I want to hear them. It's
your house. I'm working for you at anything you don't like.
All you gotta do is just tell me hot Jim.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You'll wake the children.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Look, you don't have to yell at me.
Speaker 7 (21:17):
Just talk and I'll listen.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Missus Collins.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
There are a great many things I could say, and
a great many ways in which I could say them.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
But since all of the things I.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Have to say and all of the ways in which
I would say them add up to one in the
self same thing, I say to you now from the
very bottom of my heart.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
You are fired, Jim. Ye on my whole life. That's
the nicest way I ever got canned. Well, I gotta
go to bed just.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
A moment, Missus Collins. I'm afraid you don't understand my
husband fired you. You don't work here anymore.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I know I ain't deep, but I still got to
go to sleep.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
You will not sleep here, Missus Collins.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
We want you to go away now. If you're discharged.
You're the most discharged person we've ever had.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
In this house. Now, will you please pack up your
things and get out?
Speaker 7 (22:14):
Jim, I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
A smart man like you, with a nice home and
a nice family.
Speaker 7 (22:21):
Why you want to know more about the law. You
can't fire me. I gotta have a week's notice.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
I'm giving you a week's notice. I'll pay your wages
for a whole week only. Please go away.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
But I like it here. And it ain't just the wages, Jim,
I'm supposed to get room and board.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
I'll give you two weeks wages.
Speaker 7 (22:44):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
He got a piano and I can call my bookie
on the phone, and it's like a vacation with paid.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Margaret, missus Collins. Is there anything I can do too? Sure?
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Call me what breakfast?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
He's ready?
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Welcome morning, Margaret.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yes, Dear.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
When they start giving out awards for the world's prize idiot,
be sure and tell them about me.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh, Jim Darling, you're an idiot, but you'd never take
any prize.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
I certainly would.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Well. I won't argue, dear, After all, Father knows best.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Well.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Father certainly plunged into that head over heels. How sorry
he is, just goes to show it always pays to.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Look before you leap.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
On that score, when it comes to buying a pound
of coffee, it certainly pays to look for flavor.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
The most in flavor for every penny you spend.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
After all, flavor is what you're paying for, and we
don't think you can beat the famous flavor we pack
into every pound of Maxwell House.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
But here's my point.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Air can steal coffee flavor, and ordinary containers like paper
bags can't prevent roasted coffee from losing flavor, whether it's.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Ground or whole bean.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
That's why we take our Maxwell House fresh and fragrant
from the roasting ovens and carefully vacuum packet in the
familiar blue tin. It's the only way you're guaranteed coffee
that's fresh and full flavored as the hour it was roasted.
So be sure you get all the flavor and fragrance
you pay for your money's worth, and more. You always
(24:41):
will with Maxwell House Coffee, always good.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
To the last drop.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
This world is not so bad a world as some
would like to make it. The weather good or weather
depends on how we take it. A week's gone by
and we find Jim Anderson walking along a busy street
in downtown Springfield. The Chamber of Commerce is still dear
to his heart, and he's not what you call a
particularly happy man.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
Like this that serves me right.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
That's what it does, make a fool of myself in
front of Edwards, spoil my chances of getting on the board.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
Gosh, I wanted that spot on the Chamber of Commerce.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
The speeches I could have made about important things too,
Why I could have said things like ladies and gentlemen.
It's an established fact that everybody wants a different thing,
a farm, a store, a college education for their children,
or maybe they just want to retire and go fishing.
But there's one thing everybody wants, security, and there's one way,
(25:48):
one sure way, for each and every one of us
to get it. Save for your independence by United States
Savings bonds.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
That's what I could have told them. I could have said,
buy bonds all ramatically.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
If you can on the payroll savings plan or the
bond a month plan at your bank. They're like cash
on hand, and they return you four dollars for every
three dollars you invest. Buy a United States savings save
for your independence and start now. Then I could have said,
I say anything, hum hm oh, hello, mister Edwards.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
I didn't see it.
Speaker 10 (26:21):
I thought if you went in any great hurry, we
might take a stroll together. Little matter has come up
that I'd like to discuss with you.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Why, of course, mister Edwards. It'll be a very great pleasure,
you know, Edison.
Speaker 10 (26:33):
We never did get down to a discussion of business
at your house the other night.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Mister Edwards. I wanted to explain about that. You see.
Speaker 10 (26:41):
Jut, jut, my boy, No need to explain.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
I unders then completely.
Speaker 10 (26:46):
As you know, Anderson, there's a vacancy on the board
of the Chamber of Commerce, and well yours.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
You want it if I want it? Why, mister Edwards.
Of course I want it, and thank you very much.
Nothing nothing, nothing at all.
Speaker 10 (27:01):
Tell me Anderson that missus Collins she still with you.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
No, he finally got rid of her this morning. That's
too bad.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Oh, I don't think we could have taken it another day.
She had the whole family waiting on her hand and
foot all week.
Speaker 10 (27:19):
I see you see you were You wouldn't know how
I could.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
Get in touch with it, Oh I might. I think
she left the forwarding address with Margaret.
Speaker 10 (27:30):
But why well, I wouldn't want this to get around Dan.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
Well, of course not. I won't say a word.
Speaker 10 (27:37):
Well, I followed that bit of advice Missus Collins gave.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
Me about little Jeff you know, and I won sixty
food dollars.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Did you know?
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Now there's an instant coffee with roaster fresh pure coffee flavor.
It's Instant Maxwell House, the instant coffee with the famous flavor,
the happiest combination in coffee, wonderful, good to the last
drop flavor, combined with a convenience and thrift of coffee
made instantly in the cup.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
Unlike most instant.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Coffees, it's all rich, pure coffee, nothing added. Tomorrow, try
the instant coffee with a famous flavor, Instant Maxwell House,
instantly good to the last drop. Join us again next
week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring
(28:42):
Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargey and the
Maxwell House Orchestra and Yours truly, Bill Forman.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Don't forget.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Membership cards for the Robert Young Good Drivers Club are
waiting for you at your local NBC station. Get a
man to man or dad to daughter pledge and sign
up today.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Be a good good driver.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Get your membership card in the Robert Young Good Driver's
Club today now until next Thursday. Good night and good
luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand
of coffee. Always good to the last drop, Father Knows Best,
was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now
(29:21):
stay tuned for screen Gill Theater, which follows immediately over
most of these stations.
Speaker 10 (29:30):
Yes, this is your invitation to stay tuned for screen
Gill Theater next on NBC.
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