August 4, 2025 • 29 mins
A compilation of humorous shows ranging from slapstick sketches to witty banter and family sitcoms. This series highlights the timeless appeal of laughter and character-driven comedy.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mother, Is Maxwell House the best coffee in the.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Whole world when your father says so, and your father
knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Yes, it's father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Young as father.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought
to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and
enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee
at any price. Maxwell House always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
When you get right down to it.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Life today can be pretty complicated. You can't simplify things
the way Servantes did when he wrote There's a time
for something and a time for all things, a time
for great things and a time for small things. If
you wrote a thing like that today, you know what
they'd say. They'd say, what kind of time? Daylight saving
or standard?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
See what I mean?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Life has become very confusing, and in Springfield, in the
white frame house on Maple Street, the Andersons will probably
confuse it still further like this.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Oh, I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I
keep yawning all the time. Yes, dear, yes, I must
be getting old, Yes, dear, well, you don't have to
agree with me.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Margaret Oh, oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I guess I wasn't listening.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
I was just reading, Jim, you're not going to spread
those maps all over the floor again.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Because you disrupt the entire household, That's why not. And furthermore, Eh.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Just a second, honey, what is it, Bud? Is it
all right I wear your blue denim shirts? No, it
isn't all right. Use your own. Good gosh, what were
you saying, dear?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
I was saying, why can't you listen to a news
broadcast like anyone else? You don't see other people spreading maps.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
All over the floor for your information? My pet, General
MacArthur would rather be caught dead than listen to a
news broadcast without his maps.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Well, if it makes you and General MacArthur happy.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
By Dad, What is it, Bud?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
It's in the Why what is my denim shirt?
Speaker 4 (02:33):
And the pants too? Oh? Then wear something else? But
I've got the denim pants on. What denim pants your, bud?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Jim, He's going on a hay ride and I didn't
want him to wear any of his good clothes, and
I knew you wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Mind, Bud. Yes, Dad, take the denim shirt. Thanks Dad,
You're a pile m and Margaret. Yes, dear in the future,
please let me handle the trouser concession, all right, dear
gotten sow a man can call his pantsy's own anytime.
(03:12):
I want to wear something? But has it on?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Jim? You've done nothing but yawn ever since you got home.
Why don't you go to bed?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I'm going to bed right after the news broadcast, and
I'd give ten bucks to be able to sleep until noon.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well tomorrow Sunday.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Why don't you golf eight o'clock?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Oh, Jim, Hi, hear?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It's what cooks with the doing don't department?
Speaker 6 (03:33):
The what?
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Never mind, Margaret, she just came in on a flying saucer.
We're not supposed to understand. Father, don't pay any attention
to her, and she'll probably dissolve into thin air.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
What is it, Betty? I thought you had a date
with Dick andrews.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh, there's lots of time. Look which nail polish do
you like best?
Speaker 4 (03:52):
If that isn't a weird setup.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Betty, you aren't going out that way? Are you?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
With eight different shades of nail powers? Of course not.
But which one do you like best?
Speaker 4 (04:03):
The one you've got on your thumbs.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I don't have any on my thumbs.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
That's the one I like best. Mother.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
They all look very nice, dear, And I really think
you ought to get dressed pretty soon.
Speaker 7 (04:18):
I was just thinking about the piece of apple pie
that was left over from dinner.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Well, it's in the icebox.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
It won't be for long, creeper, is it? Somebody only
tell me which shade they like best.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I wouldn't have a oh good grief anytime I decided
to go to bed early. I'll get it. Boy, can't
you learn to walk down the stairs. One of these
days the whole house is going to collapse? Did you
want me? Ton? No, just answer the door. That's what
(04:51):
I was going to del Well, go ahead. Didn't you
want something? I want you to see who rang the
door bell. I heard you call me, and I thought
you he wanted something. But yes, Dad, please answer the door.
You bet Dad right away. I think he lies in
bed at night trying to figure out ways to torment me.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
No, Dere, you're just.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
Tired, and if you've had a good night's rest, everything
will seem much brighter.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Well, I hope you're right, and I don't care who
it is, Margaret. I'm not going to stay up after
ten o'clock.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
No, dear, But we can't be rude, can we?
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Maybe you can't, but I can. Ten o'clock is my limit?
Ohy is it? Bud?
Speaker 6 (05:32):
It was Willie freehowper avoided? He ever looked funny. His
hat was way down over his ears, and he said
he couldn't help it because that was the only size
they had. But if they can't get one to fit him,
he's gonna stuff it pull of newspaper and then he
thinks it'll fit better.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
What did he want? Oh, he brought a telegram. Here
you are, Dad, Just any time at all, we'll be fine.
You should have seen him, Mom.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
He had this Western Union hat on and he could
hardly see his face, and he had.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
To hold his head way back like that.
Speaker 6 (06:04):
No, yes he did, Dad. You see he had to
head way in the back.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
You can't come, not again, Jim.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
It isn't your aunt Martha.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
It certainly is my aunt Martha. Oh, look at it.
Arrive Sunday, be a depot with children. Eight o'clock. Aunt
Martha didn't even say love, and it's only nine words.
It wouldn't have cost her anything, Jim, just a minute honey,
but aren't you supposed to go on a hay ride. Sure,
(06:34):
well go ahead.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
I don't have to leave for ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Dear your father and I have something to.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Discuss, okay. I was just thinking.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
Remember the piece of apple pie that was left over
from dinner?
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Betty thought of it first. What she's in the kitchen
with it now? She had two pieces for dinner. Betty?
Speaker 5 (06:56):
Wait a minute. I want to talk to you, Jim.
Why doesn't your aunt Martha ever give us more notice?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I don't know, honey.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, I've gotta work all night to tidy up the whole.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
It looks fine just the way it is.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
It doesn't at all. And you know how fussy she is.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Sure she's afraid she might get a little dust on
one of her thousand dollar bills. Old crab jew three
room and board at the Andersons. No wonder she's rich.
He never spends anything, Jim, Kathy's coming Old Buzzard a
fine Sunday.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I'm going to have Kathy, Where on earth have you
been in the kitchen?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I was watching Daddy make a sandwich?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
A sandwich? What happened to the pie?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I ate it?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Why aren't you in bed?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It isn't time.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
It certainly is time. It's almost nine o'clock.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
It isn't even eight o'clock.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Cobby, Stop arguing with me and go to bed.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
But you said I could stay up until eight thirty.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Well, look at the hall clock. It's almost nine.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Oh no, dear, it isn't quite five minutes of eight.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
And besides, oh, I guess I forgot to tell you
I turned on o'clocks back.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You did, Jim, whatever on earth for?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Because tomorrow is the last Sunday in September, we go
back to standard time at two o'clock. And I certainly
don't intend to get up at two o'clock in the
morning to fix a bunch of clocks.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Jim, you aren't supposed to turn the clocks back. You're
supposed to turn them ahead.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Margaret. The principle of daylight saving is to save daylight, right, Yes,
So you turn the clocks back in September and gain
the hour you lost in April. That's simple enough, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
If you turn them back, Dear, how can you gain anything.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
You gain the hour you lost, because you get it
over again. You have the same hour twice.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
You can't gain anything by going backward. You have to
go forward up with clocks.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
You don't you turn them back?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Daddy?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
What is it, Kathy?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You turned them back in April.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I did not turn them back in April. I turned
them ahead.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Jim. You said in April that we gained an hour
of daylight.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
That's right, because it stayed early later. I mean it
got later early, Margaret, the sun stayed up longer. Why
because it got late later?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Kathy, I think you'd better go to bed.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
But Daddy said we lost an hour in April, and
he turned the clocks backwards. Now we ought to turn them.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Fatward, Kathleen. No matter what I did in April, tomorrow,
we do not turn the clocks ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
No, No, I already did, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Jim, she was only doing what she thought was right.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Well, she had no business doing anything. If you don't
understand the principle of daylight saving, you don't move the
clocks around. But mommy said, I don't mind what mommy said.
You didn't see her changing the clocks.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Did you, No, Jim, Yes, I moved them ahead too.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Oh well, I'm sure that's what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
The paper said you gained an hour.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
You gain an hour by turning the clocks back.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
What time is it?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
How do I know? The way? Everybody gets the clocks
all messed up? Betty? Yes? Father? What time does it
say on the kitchen clock? A quarter of four? Well
that's a great help. What's all the fuss about that? Oh? Nothing,
nothing at all. It's just that people shouldn't mess around
with things they don't understand.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Daddy's mad because I moved the clocks ahead.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's perfectly all right here.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
You meant well, I didn't know I was going to
get everything mixed up.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
You don't have to worry, dad. Cathy didn't spoil anything.
What do you mean, Well, she told me she turned
the clocks ahead, so I turned them back.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
But you moron what you didn't turn them back?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
You couldn't. I could not because I.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Turned them back too. Well.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I thought I was.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Just making it the right time.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Jim, where are you going?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
I'm going to find out what time it is. You've
got the clocks in this house so mixed up. We
can't tell if it's Wednesday or Friday, Daddy, Saturday, Thank
you very much.
Speaker 8 (11:44):
At the toll, the time will be eight fifty eight
and forty seconds.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
There now we know from now on, please leave the
clocks alone.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
What time is it, dear?
Speaker 4 (11:57):
What she said? Eight fifty one minute to nine, nine
to nine?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Gosh, I ought to be in bed, canight, everybody? Mother,
I'm having early down. I've got on eight shades of
nail polish.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
What am I gonna do?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Holy Carr, I missed the whole hay ride.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Bettie stopped moaning, get dressed and gold, but my name,
I'll never notice the nails.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
I ruined my whole life.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Goodnight, everybody, the last hay ride of the year, and
I missed it.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Maybe they waited for you, bod They couldn't.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
There was a rule, no waiting for anybody.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Are you sure sure?
Speaker 4 (12:32):
I'm sure I made up the rule.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Daddy.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
You know this whole thing is very interesting. It merely
proves what I've been telling you for years. If you
don't understand something, leave it alone. You see what happened.
Betty's late for her date, Bud miss his hay rise.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
And what time was your broadcast here?
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Eight o'clock? Oh my god, Daddy. Now, please Kathy, everybody
be quiet, And so we bring to a close this
fulllur of news broadcasting from around the world.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Tune in again, Jim, Dear.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Uh, what was it you wanted to say? Kathy?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Good night? Everybody.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Another cup of coffee please, It's the best I ever tasted.
Tomorrow you can hear that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am,
he'll be there at your table, because the world's greatest
coffee expert is your husband. Of course, we rate ourselves
pretty high as experts. Our Maxwell House coffee is the
(14:00):
long been America's favorite brand. But we know the final
judge is that man of yours, and if you pour
him a cup of Maxwell House, we're pretty certain he'll
say best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, if he doesn't,
we'll give you your money back. You see, we know
no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other
(14:20):
coffee's made like Maxwell House. Get a pound tomorrow, start
serving your husband the coffee with that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor. If he doesn't tell you it's
his number one choice, why you send us the can
an unused portion, and we'll gladly refund the price you paid.
Our address is right on the front of every one
of those familiar blue tins put it up to the
(14:43):
world's greatest coffee expert. Tomorrow give him Maxwell House Coffee
always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
On tank for the New Western. I'm a plain thing
of rock Fell, middle Town, fence Mill, Madison and Klamouth
junction on tank horn. All right, Bud, let's watch where
we're going. You're pumping into everybody. Pardon me. Betty holds
your brother's eyes open, Old.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Them open, Daddy. You should have seen them stare at me.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Father.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
You'd have thought I was a freak or something, just
because my nails didn't match.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Pardon me. Fine, telegram doesn't say what train she's coming
on or where she's leaving from. Just be there at
eight o'clock, Daddy.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I can't reach his eyes. Shall I stick him with
a pin?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Never mind, Cathy, skip the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Gee whiz, pardon me?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
All right, Bud, that's enough. Let's wake up, Bud.
Speaker 7 (15:54):
Why don't we just prop him up against a post
and pretend we don't know him.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
He'll come to in a little, bud, Bud. Breakfast? Why
all right? Now, stay awake. Somebody said breakfast they did well?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Whoever could it have been?
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Hey, we're at the station. How do we get down here.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
We'll draw you a diagram as soon as we find
Aunt Martha. What happened to the information booth?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It's that the magazine stands.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Where'd they move the magazine stand.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Which right over there?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Daddy?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
See stick everything into a corner. We can't see it.
Come on, Bud, this is no time to sit down.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
People get arrested for yelling fire when there isn't any fire.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Why should she yell breakfast when there isn't any breakfast.
Speaker 9 (16:44):
It was a joke, Dopey, some joke. Well it woke
you up.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
I was waking up anywhere. You didn't have to yell breakfast.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
And Cornelia said, these are my jewels, my children? What
never mind? I was just mumbling, here's the information both. Daddy,
thank you. Cathy. You're a great help. I am, you
certainly are.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Why is this a next up morning?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
I beg your pardon. We have a wire from an
ant of mine telling us to meet her here at
eight o'clock, and we don't know exactly where she's coming from.
So could you give us any information about any train
that's supposed to arrive here anywhere in the neighborhood of
that time?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Eh?
Speaker 4 (17:33):
I said, we have a wire from an aunt of mine.
Speaker 9 (17:36):
What do you mean you don't know where she's coming from.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Well, my aunt was staying with my cousins in Bedford.
That's where the wire came from. And there isn't any
train in Bedford. So well, Bedford's halfway between Lancaster and
U Canaan, and there's a station in Lancaster on the
lack of one in Saint Paul, and a station in
U Canaan on the Springfield and Northern.
Speaker 9 (17:55):
Wait a minute, this is the information desk I'm supposed
to be.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Well, let's not stand on ceremonies. Is there a train
from either place at eight o'clock?
Speaker 9 (18:11):
Which eight o'clock?
Speaker 8 (18:13):
Eastern, Central Mountain or Pacific Coast?
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Suppose we try Central of me seen.
Speaker 9 (18:22):
Nope, no train at eight o'clock.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
How about Eastern?
Speaker 8 (18:29):
Oh, here we are New Canaan eight o'clock, eleven thirty.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Look, is there any train due in here at eight.
Speaker 8 (18:40):
O'clock AM or PM?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I don't know. She just said to meet her at
eight o'clock.
Speaker 9 (18:47):
Well wait till I get my book, I'll look it up.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You do that.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Father Bud's asleep again.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Let him sleep one of us might as well be
having a good time. Where's Kathy?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I don't know, Kathy.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
All you have to do is leave her alone for
ten seconds.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Kathy, she was standing right next to me a minute ago.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
We'll see if you can find her before she breaks
one of the locomotives. But but we've lost Kathy. Good.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
But do you want me to say it again?
Speaker 4 (19:23):
No, just go find your sister.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Okay, Kathy a.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Dune and breathe.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
This is your last call for the new Westerner leading
on track fall for playing Field.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
Rock Film Middletown, Nsville, Madison and Plimouth junction.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
The dining tire is forward and is now open for breakfast.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
But we can't find Kathy.
Speaker 6 (19:51):
Somebody said breakfast.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
We'll all have breakfast in a few minutes. Why don't
you go look for Kathy. Where'd she go? We don't.
I don't know where she went. Just look for.
Speaker 6 (20:02):
Holly call wake you up in the middle of the night,
and then you can't even have your breakfast.
Speaker 8 (20:08):
When I got all the information for you on that
eight of cock Tree, fine, there isn't any, but.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
There must be. She said to meet her at eight o'clock.
Speaker 9 (20:20):
We got one at seven forty five.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Well that's close enough. Which one is it? It?
Speaker 10 (20:24):
Don't run on Sunday.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
I have a telegram right here in my pocket. I'll
show it to you.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Will you calling me? Daddy?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Where have you been?
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I was looking at the comics?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Well where are they.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
From the magazine stand?
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Oh? Those comics? What happened to Benning? Bud?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I don't know. Did they get lost?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
They're looking for you, but I'm here, see that you
stay here? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess we're a little
confused this morning.
Speaker 10 (20:56):
You're a little confused.
Speaker 8 (20:58):
People come up and they don't know whether I'm sorry,
eight o'clock, seven o'clock Eastern Central.
Speaker 10 (21:03):
How am I supposed to figure it out? Some of
them don't even know where the people are coming from.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
That's me.
Speaker 10 (21:14):
Oh well, now.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
What are we supposed to do? Shall we dance? All right? Betty?
I found her.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I wasn't lost. Oh, father, the most horrible thing just happened.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
You found Aunt Martha.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I got a run in my stocking. I can't walk
around here like this.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Look at it? What is it? Bud?
Speaker 6 (21:38):
There's a big cafeteria over at the other end, and
you can get all kinds of later.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
But later for.
Speaker 6 (21:44):
Only eighty five cents you can get eggs and cereal
and milk, and said later and everything. Look, miss I
want you to read the telegram for yourself. Arrive sunday
be it depot with children at eight o'clock. Now what
could be clearer than that?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
What? Deepo? This deepot? How many depots are there in Springfield? Train?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
Deeple freight depot, bus depot.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Bus deeopo? Oh? No, is something wrong? Yeah? She probably
came in on a bus. Is there a bus from
Bedford to eight o'clock? Mister?
Speaker 9 (22:16):
I got enough trouble keeping track.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Of the train. Bettie, what time is it? Eight fifteen?
All the poor things? She's probably sitting in the bus
depot worrying about us. We better get right over there.
Speaker 8 (22:30):
Oh hey, wait a minute, there's a seven o'clock train
from New Canaan.
Speaker 10 (22:35):
Maybe that's the one she meant.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
She said eight o'clock.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
It never gets in Italy?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Well where is it?
Speaker 10 (22:41):
He will be in until nine?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (22:45):
My aching back? Now what do we do? Well?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Why don't we split up?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Father?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
You go to the bus depot and we'll stay.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Here, all right? Why don't I go home? You're going
to stay here and meet Aunt Martha, all of you.
But maybe she got tired of waiting and took a cab.
That's got nothing to do with it. I'm going to
the bus depot and you're going to stay here.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Father, What if she did take a cab with her
own money?
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Don't be ridiculous, and I don't want any trouble with you.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
I was just thinking me too.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Why don't you call mommy and tell her what happened?
Speaker 4 (23:22):
What?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
And then if an't mind the call, she can tell
her not to worry.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Say that's a very good idea. Thank you, Kathy, you're welcome. Well,
we'll call your mother and get her straightened out, and
then I'll take off at the bus depot.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
The phone's right here, daddy.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Thank you, Kathy. I don't know what I'd have done
without you today. Father? What is it, Betty?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Do we all have to stay here? I mean, couldn't
you take Kathy with you?
Speaker 4 (23:53):
I'll be glad to take her with me. She's a
joy and a pleasure compared with some of my numskulled children.
What did we do? Hell, Margaret, this is Jim, Oh, Jim.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
I've been trying to reach you all over time, Honey.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
If Aunt Martha calls, tell her I'm on my way
over to the bus depots. Yeah, and I'm leaving the
kids at the station in case she's on the seven
o'clock train. No matter what she says, tell her she's
not to worry. Jim, Margaret, I haven't got time to talk, Jim, Will.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
You please listen to me?
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Yes, dear, what is it?
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Right after you left, we got another telegram from Aunt Martha.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
She isn't coming.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Oh no.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Every time you buy coffee, you certainly want to get
the most for your money, the most in flavor, the
most truly good.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Cups of coffee from every pound.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
And you can get some real help finding that from
the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am, just serve up
a cup of Maxwell House to that husband of yours.
He's the number one expert. And when you hear him
say that's the coffee for me, you'll know Maxwell House
is the coffee for you too, your coffee by bring
(25:20):
home a familiar blue Maxwell House ten tomorrow. See how
much your coffee expert husband enjoys every cupful, and count
how many truly good cups of coffee you get in
that one pound, We're mighty sure you'll find it's Maxwell
House coffee that gives you the most for your money,
because it's always good to the last drop. It's an
(25:50):
ill whim that blows no good. And civilization goes forward
on a succession of disasters such as those which constantly
befall the Anderson's take.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
We'll take the sad events of the past weekend.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
They had their effect on the progress of man in
a great many ways.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
For example, in the arts, I'm.
Speaker 7 (26:09):
A success, mother, I'm a success. Oh, I'm the biggest
thing in Springfield since Henry Carry.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Lady, will you please stand still?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Do you know what happened in school today?
Speaker 7 (26:20):
Every girl on the campus was wearing eight shades of
nail polish the sciences.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Did you know that the roofs toxicadendron amidst a gluk
acide that causes violent itching even after it's all dried up?
Rus What boyson?
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Ivy what about it?
Speaker 6 (26:40):
It was mixed up with a hey and everybody who
went on the ride.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Is sick in bed and general education.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I was the only one in the whole class who
knew about daylight.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Saving what's fine to you.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
And next April when the clocks go.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Back, Kathy, they don't go back in April, they go ahead.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Oh I know, I mean when they go back on
daylight saving.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
What about it?
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Well, I'll just know why.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
That's all good, Jim.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
Yes, Margaret, I understand all about the clocks and why
you turn them back. Yes, but I certainly think someone
ought to tell the newspapers what well. They're the ones
who get everybody confused.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
If they just said we lose an hour, then naturally
we turn the clocks back.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
But we don't lose an hour. We gain an hour.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
If you turn the clock's.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Back, Margaret, you get the hour over again. That's why
they say you gain an hour. If it's eight o'clock
and you turn your watch back to seven o'clock, then
you've got sixty whole minutes to live over again. If
you turn them ahead, you skip an hour and you
lose it. That's why the newspapers.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Say life is swell when you keep well. And what
(28:12):
better way to help keep well than with post forty
percent brand flakes. America's favorite brand flakes, post Bran flakes
provide brand to help prevent irregularity. Due to lack of
bulk in the diet, plus important vitamins and minerals, and
you'll love the delicious flavor of Post brand flakes. Serve
them for breakfast tomorrow. Remember life is swell when you
(28:37):
keep well. Try Post forty percent brand flakes. Join us
again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best,
starring Robert young Is, Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargee and
the Maxwell House Orchestra.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
And yours truly, Bill Foreman.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from
the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee.
Always good till the last drop. Father Knows Best was
transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed Jake. Now stay
tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of
(29:17):
these stations.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Yes, now it's Dragnet.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Listen Sunday for Charlie Wilde on NBC
Mother, Is Maxwell House the best coffee in the.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Whole world when your father says so, and your father
knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Yes, it's father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Young as father.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought
to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and
enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee
at any price. Maxwell House always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
When you get right down to it.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Life today can be pretty complicated. You can't simplify things
the way Servantes did when he wrote There's a time
for something and a time for all things, a time
for great things and a time for small things. If
you wrote a thing like that today, you know what
they'd say. They'd say, what kind of time? Daylight saving
or standard?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
See what I mean?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Life has become very confusing, and in Springfield, in the
white frame house on Maple Street, the Andersons will probably
confuse it still further like this.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Oh, I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I
keep yawning all the time. Yes, dear, yes, I must
be getting old, Yes, dear, well, you don't have to
agree with me.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Margaret Oh, oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I guess I wasn't listening.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
I was just reading, Jim, you're not going to spread
those maps all over the floor again.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Because you disrupt the entire household, That's why not. And furthermore, Eh.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Just a second, honey, what is it, Bud? Is it
all right I wear your blue denim shirts? No, it
isn't all right. Use your own. Good gosh, what were
you saying, dear?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
I was saying, why can't you listen to a news
broadcast like anyone else? You don't see other people spreading maps.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
All over the floor for your information? My pet, General
MacArthur would rather be caught dead than listen to a
news broadcast without his maps.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Well, if it makes you and General MacArthur happy.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
By Dad, What is it, Bud?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
It's in the Why what is my denim shirt?
Speaker 4 (02:33):
And the pants too? Oh? Then wear something else? But
I've got the denim pants on. What denim pants your, bud?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Jim, He's going on a hay ride and I didn't
want him to wear any of his good clothes, and
I knew you wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Mind, Bud. Yes, Dad, take the denim shirt. Thanks Dad,
You're a pile m and Margaret. Yes, dear in the future,
please let me handle the trouser concession, all right, dear
gotten sow a man can call his pantsy's own anytime.
(03:12):
I want to wear something? But has it on?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Jim? You've done nothing but yawn ever since you got home.
Why don't you go to bed?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I'm going to bed right after the news broadcast, and
I'd give ten bucks to be able to sleep until noon.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well tomorrow Sunday.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Why don't you golf eight o'clock?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Oh, Jim, Hi, hear?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It's what cooks with the doing don't department?
Speaker 6 (03:33):
The what?
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Never mind, Margaret, she just came in on a flying saucer.
We're not supposed to understand. Father, don't pay any attention
to her, and she'll probably dissolve into thin air.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
What is it, Betty? I thought you had a date
with Dick andrews.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh, there's lots of time. Look which nail polish do
you like best?
Speaker 4 (03:52):
If that isn't a weird setup.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Betty, you aren't going out that way? Are you?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
With eight different shades of nail powers? Of course not.
But which one do you like best?
Speaker 4 (04:03):
The one you've got on your thumbs.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I don't have any on my thumbs.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
That's the one I like best. Mother.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
They all look very nice, dear, And I really think
you ought to get dressed pretty soon.
Speaker 7 (04:18):
I was just thinking about the piece of apple pie
that was left over from dinner.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Well, it's in the icebox.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
It won't be for long, creeper, is it? Somebody only
tell me which shade they like best.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I wouldn't have a oh good grief anytime I decided
to go to bed early. I'll get it. Boy, can't
you learn to walk down the stairs. One of these
days the whole house is going to collapse? Did you
want me? Ton? No, just answer the door. That's what
(04:51):
I was going to del Well, go ahead. Didn't you
want something? I want you to see who rang the
door bell. I heard you call me, and I thought
you he wanted something. But yes, Dad, please answer the door.
You bet Dad right away. I think he lies in
bed at night trying to figure out ways to torment me.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
No, Dere, you're just.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
Tired, and if you've had a good night's rest, everything
will seem much brighter.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Well, I hope you're right, and I don't care who
it is, Margaret. I'm not going to stay up after
ten o'clock.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
No, dear, But we can't be rude, can we?
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Maybe you can't, but I can. Ten o'clock is my limit?
Ohy is it? Bud?
Speaker 6 (05:32):
It was Willie freehowper avoided? He ever looked funny. His
hat was way down over his ears, and he said
he couldn't help it because that was the only size
they had. But if they can't get one to fit him,
he's gonna stuff it pull of newspaper and then he
thinks it'll fit better.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
What did he want? Oh, he brought a telegram. Here
you are, Dad, Just any time at all, we'll be fine.
You should have seen him, Mom.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
He had this Western Union hat on and he could
hardly see his face, and he had.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
To hold his head way back like that.
Speaker 6 (06:04):
No, yes he did, Dad. You see he had to
head way in the back.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
You can't come, not again, Jim.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
It isn't your aunt Martha.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
It certainly is my aunt Martha. Oh, look at it.
Arrive Sunday, be a depot with children. Eight o'clock. Aunt
Martha didn't even say love, and it's only nine words.
It wouldn't have cost her anything, Jim, just a minute honey,
but aren't you supposed to go on a hay ride. Sure,
(06:34):
well go ahead.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
I don't have to leave for ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Dear your father and I have something to.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Discuss, okay. I was just thinking.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
Remember the piece of apple pie that was left over
from dinner?
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Betty thought of it first. What she's in the kitchen
with it now? She had two pieces for dinner. Betty?
Speaker 5 (06:56):
Wait a minute. I want to talk to you, Jim.
Why doesn't your aunt Martha ever give us more notice?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I don't know, honey.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, I've gotta work all night to tidy up the whole.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
It looks fine just the way it is.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
It doesn't at all. And you know how fussy she is.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Sure she's afraid she might get a little dust on
one of her thousand dollar bills. Old crab jew three
room and board at the Andersons. No wonder she's rich.
He never spends anything, Jim, Kathy's coming Old Buzzard a
fine Sunday.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I'm going to have Kathy, Where on earth have you
been in the kitchen?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I was watching Daddy make a sandwich?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
A sandwich? What happened to the pie?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I ate it?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Why aren't you in bed?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It isn't time.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
It certainly is time. It's almost nine o'clock.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
It isn't even eight o'clock.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Cobby, Stop arguing with me and go to bed.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
But you said I could stay up until eight thirty.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Well, look at the hall clock. It's almost nine.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Oh no, dear, it isn't quite five minutes of eight.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
And besides, oh, I guess I forgot to tell you
I turned on o'clocks back.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You did, Jim, whatever on earth for?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Because tomorrow is the last Sunday in September, we go
back to standard time at two o'clock. And I certainly
don't intend to get up at two o'clock in the
morning to fix a bunch of clocks.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Jim, you aren't supposed to turn the clocks back. You're
supposed to turn them ahead.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Margaret. The principle of daylight saving is to save daylight, right, Yes,
So you turn the clocks back in September and gain
the hour you lost in April. That's simple enough, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
If you turn them back, Dear, how can you gain anything.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
You gain the hour you lost, because you get it
over again. You have the same hour twice.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
You can't gain anything by going backward. You have to
go forward up with clocks.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
You don't you turn them back?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Daddy?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
What is it, Kathy?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You turned them back in April.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I did not turn them back in April. I turned
them ahead.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Jim. You said in April that we gained an hour
of daylight.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
That's right, because it stayed early later. I mean it
got later early, Margaret, the sun stayed up longer. Why
because it got late later?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Kathy, I think you'd better go to bed.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
But Daddy said we lost an hour in April, and
he turned the clocks backwards. Now we ought to turn them.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Fatward, Kathleen. No matter what I did in April, tomorrow,
we do not turn the clocks ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
No, No, I already did, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Jim, she was only doing what she thought was right.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Well, she had no business doing anything. If you don't
understand the principle of daylight saving, you don't move the
clocks around. But mommy said, I don't mind what mommy said.
You didn't see her changing the clocks.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Did you, No, Jim, Yes, I moved them ahead too.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Oh well, I'm sure that's what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
The paper said you gained an hour.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
You gain an hour by turning the clocks back.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
What time is it?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
How do I know? The way? Everybody gets the clocks
all messed up? Betty? Yes? Father? What time does it
say on the kitchen clock? A quarter of four? Well
that's a great help. What's all the fuss about that? Oh? Nothing,
nothing at all. It's just that people shouldn't mess around
with things they don't understand.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Daddy's mad because I moved the clocks ahead.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's perfectly all right here.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
You meant well, I didn't know I was going to
get everything mixed up.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
You don't have to worry, dad. Cathy didn't spoil anything.
What do you mean, Well, she told me she turned
the clocks ahead, so I turned them back.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
But you moron what you didn't turn them back?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
You couldn't. I could not because I.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Turned them back too. Well.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I thought I was.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Just making it the right time.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Jim, where are you going?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
I'm going to find out what time it is. You've
got the clocks in this house so mixed up. We
can't tell if it's Wednesday or Friday, Daddy, Saturday, Thank
you very much.
Speaker 8 (11:44):
At the toll, the time will be eight fifty eight
and forty seconds.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
There now we know from now on, please leave the
clocks alone.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
What time is it, dear?
Speaker 4 (11:57):
What she said? Eight fifty one minute to nine, nine
to nine?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Gosh, I ought to be in bed, canight, everybody? Mother,
I'm having early down. I've got on eight shades of
nail polish.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
What am I gonna do?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Holy Carr, I missed the whole hay ride.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Bettie stopped moaning, get dressed and gold, but my name,
I'll never notice the nails.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
I ruined my whole life.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Goodnight, everybody, the last hay ride of the year, and
I missed it.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Maybe they waited for you, bod They couldn't.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
There was a rule, no waiting for anybody.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Are you sure sure?
Speaker 4 (12:32):
I'm sure I made up the rule.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Daddy.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
You know this whole thing is very interesting. It merely
proves what I've been telling you for years. If you
don't understand something, leave it alone. You see what happened.
Betty's late for her date, Bud miss his hay rise.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
And what time was your broadcast here?
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Eight o'clock? Oh my god, Daddy. Now, please Kathy, everybody
be quiet, And so we bring to a close this
fulllur of news broadcasting from around the world.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Tune in again, Jim, Dear.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Uh, what was it you wanted to say? Kathy?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Good night? Everybody.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Another cup of coffee please, It's the best I ever tasted.
Tomorrow you can hear that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am,
he'll be there at your table, because the world's greatest
coffee expert is your husband. Of course, we rate ourselves
pretty high as experts. Our Maxwell House coffee is the
(14:00):
long been America's favorite brand. But we know the final
judge is that man of yours, and if you pour
him a cup of Maxwell House, we're pretty certain he'll
say best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, if he doesn't,
we'll give you your money back. You see, we know
no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other
(14:20):
coffee's made like Maxwell House. Get a pound tomorrow, start
serving your husband the coffee with that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor. If he doesn't tell you it's
his number one choice, why you send us the can
an unused portion, and we'll gladly refund the price you paid.
Our address is right on the front of every one
of those familiar blue tins put it up to the
(14:43):
world's greatest coffee expert. Tomorrow give him Maxwell House Coffee
always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
On tank for the New Western. I'm a plain thing
of rock Fell, middle Town, fence Mill, Madison and Klamouth
junction on tank horn. All right, Bud, let's watch where
we're going. You're pumping into everybody. Pardon me. Betty holds
your brother's eyes open, Old.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Them open, Daddy. You should have seen them stare at me.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Father.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
You'd have thought I was a freak or something, just
because my nails didn't match.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Pardon me. Fine, telegram doesn't say what train she's coming
on or where she's leaving from. Just be there at
eight o'clock, Daddy.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I can't reach his eyes. Shall I stick him with
a pin?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Never mind, Cathy, skip the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Gee whiz, pardon me?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
All right, Bud, that's enough. Let's wake up, Bud.
Speaker 7 (15:54):
Why don't we just prop him up against a post
and pretend we don't know him.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
He'll come to in a little, bud, Bud. Breakfast? Why
all right? Now, stay awake. Somebody said breakfast they did well?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Whoever could it have been?
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Hey, we're at the station. How do we get down here.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
We'll draw you a diagram as soon as we find
Aunt Martha. What happened to the information booth?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It's that the magazine stands.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Where'd they move the magazine stand.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Which right over there?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Daddy?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
See stick everything into a corner. We can't see it.
Come on, Bud, this is no time to sit down.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
People get arrested for yelling fire when there isn't any fire.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Why should she yell breakfast when there isn't any breakfast.
Speaker 9 (16:44):
It was a joke, Dopey, some joke. Well it woke
you up.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
I was waking up anywhere. You didn't have to yell breakfast.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
And Cornelia said, these are my jewels, my children? What
never mind? I was just mumbling, here's the information both. Daddy,
thank you. Cathy. You're a great help. I am, you
certainly are.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Why is this a next up morning?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
I beg your pardon. We have a wire from an
ant of mine telling us to meet her here at
eight o'clock, and we don't know exactly where she's coming from.
So could you give us any information about any train
that's supposed to arrive here anywhere in the neighborhood of
that time?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Eh?
Speaker 4 (17:33):
I said, we have a wire from an aunt of mine.
Speaker 9 (17:36):
What do you mean you don't know where she's coming from.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Well, my aunt was staying with my cousins in Bedford.
That's where the wire came from. And there isn't any
train in Bedford. So well, Bedford's halfway between Lancaster and
U Canaan, and there's a station in Lancaster on the
lack of one in Saint Paul, and a station in
U Canaan on the Springfield and Northern.
Speaker 9 (17:55):
Wait a minute, this is the information desk I'm supposed
to be.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Well, let's not stand on ceremonies. Is there a train
from either place at eight o'clock?
Speaker 9 (18:11):
Which eight o'clock?
Speaker 8 (18:13):
Eastern, Central Mountain or Pacific Coast?
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Suppose we try Central of me seen.
Speaker 9 (18:22):
Nope, no train at eight o'clock.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
How about Eastern?
Speaker 8 (18:29):
Oh, here we are New Canaan eight o'clock, eleven thirty.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Look, is there any train due in here at eight.
Speaker 8 (18:40):
O'clock AM or PM?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I don't know. She just said to meet her at
eight o'clock.
Speaker 9 (18:47):
Well wait till I get my book, I'll look it up.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You do that.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Father Bud's asleep again.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Let him sleep one of us might as well be
having a good time. Where's Kathy?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I don't know, Kathy.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
All you have to do is leave her alone for
ten seconds.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Kathy, she was standing right next to me a minute ago.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
We'll see if you can find her before she breaks
one of the locomotives. But but we've lost Kathy. Good.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
But do you want me to say it again?
Speaker 4 (19:23):
No, just go find your sister.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Okay, Kathy a.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Dune and breathe.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
This is your last call for the new Westerner leading
on track fall for playing Field.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
Rock Film Middletown, Nsville, Madison and Plimouth junction.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
The dining tire is forward and is now open for breakfast.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
But we can't find Kathy.
Speaker 6 (19:51):
Somebody said breakfast.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
We'll all have breakfast in a few minutes. Why don't
you go look for Kathy. Where'd she go? We don't.
I don't know where she went. Just look for.
Speaker 6 (20:02):
Holly call wake you up in the middle of the night,
and then you can't even have your breakfast.
Speaker 8 (20:08):
When I got all the information for you on that
eight of cock Tree, fine, there isn't any, but.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
There must be. She said to meet her at eight o'clock.
Speaker 9 (20:20):
We got one at seven forty five.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Well that's close enough. Which one is it? It?
Speaker 10 (20:24):
Don't run on Sunday.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
I have a telegram right here in my pocket. I'll
show it to you.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Will you calling me? Daddy?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Where have you been?
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I was looking at the comics?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Well where are they.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
From the magazine stand?
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Oh? Those comics? What happened to Benning? Bud?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I don't know. Did they get lost?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
They're looking for you, but I'm here, see that you
stay here? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess we're a little
confused this morning.
Speaker 10 (20:56):
You're a little confused.
Speaker 8 (20:58):
People come up and they don't know whether I'm sorry,
eight o'clock, seven o'clock Eastern Central.
Speaker 10 (21:03):
How am I supposed to figure it out? Some of
them don't even know where the people are coming from.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
That's me.
Speaker 10 (21:14):
Oh well, now.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
What are we supposed to do? Shall we dance? All right? Betty?
I found her.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I wasn't lost. Oh, father, the most horrible thing just happened.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
You found Aunt Martha.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I got a run in my stocking. I can't walk
around here like this.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Look at it? What is it? Bud?
Speaker 6 (21:38):
There's a big cafeteria over at the other end, and
you can get all kinds of later.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
But later for.
Speaker 6 (21:44):
Only eighty five cents you can get eggs and cereal
and milk, and said later and everything. Look, miss I
want you to read the telegram for yourself. Arrive sunday
be it depot with children at eight o'clock. Now what
could be clearer than that?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
What? Deepo? This deepot? How many depots are there in Springfield? Train?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
Deeple freight depot, bus depot.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Bus deeopo? Oh? No, is something wrong? Yeah? She probably
came in on a bus. Is there a bus from
Bedford to eight o'clock? Mister?
Speaker 9 (22:16):
I got enough trouble keeping track.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Of the train. Bettie, what time is it? Eight fifteen?
All the poor things? She's probably sitting in the bus
depot worrying about us. We better get right over there.
Speaker 8 (22:30):
Oh hey, wait a minute, there's a seven o'clock train
from New Canaan.
Speaker 10 (22:35):
Maybe that's the one she meant.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
She said eight o'clock.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
It never gets in Italy?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Well where is it?
Speaker 10 (22:41):
He will be in until nine?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (22:45):
My aching back? Now what do we do? Well?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Why don't we split up?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Father?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
You go to the bus depot and we'll stay.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Here, all right? Why don't I go home? You're going
to stay here and meet Aunt Martha, all of you.
But maybe she got tired of waiting and took a cab.
That's got nothing to do with it. I'm going to
the bus depot and you're going to stay here.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Father, What if she did take a cab with her
own money?
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Don't be ridiculous, and I don't want any trouble with you.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
I was just thinking me too.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Why don't you call mommy and tell her what happened?
Speaker 4 (23:22):
What?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
And then if an't mind the call, she can tell
her not to worry.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Say that's a very good idea. Thank you, Kathy, you're welcome. Well,
we'll call your mother and get her straightened out, and
then I'll take off at the bus depot.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
The phone's right here, daddy.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Thank you, Kathy. I don't know what I'd have done
without you today. Father? What is it, Betty?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Do we all have to stay here? I mean, couldn't
you take Kathy with you?
Speaker 4 (23:53):
I'll be glad to take her with me. She's a
joy and a pleasure compared with some of my numskulled children.
What did we do? Hell, Margaret, this is Jim, Oh, Jim.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
I've been trying to reach you all over time, Honey.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
If Aunt Martha calls, tell her I'm on my way
over to the bus depots. Yeah, and I'm leaving the
kids at the station in case she's on the seven
o'clock train. No matter what she says, tell her she's
not to worry. Jim, Margaret, I haven't got time to talk, Jim, Will.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
You please listen to me?
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Yes, dear, what is it?
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Right after you left, we got another telegram from Aunt Martha.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
She isn't coming.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Oh no.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Every time you buy coffee, you certainly want to get
the most for your money, the most in flavor, the
most truly good.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Cups of coffee from every pound.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
And you can get some real help finding that from
the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am, just serve up
a cup of Maxwell House to that husband of yours.
He's the number one expert. And when you hear him
say that's the coffee for me, you'll know Maxwell House
is the coffee for you too, your coffee by bring
(25:20):
home a familiar blue Maxwell House ten tomorrow. See how
much your coffee expert husband enjoys every cupful, and count
how many truly good cups of coffee you get in
that one pound, We're mighty sure you'll find it's Maxwell
House coffee that gives you the most for your money,
because it's always good to the last drop. It's an
(25:50):
ill whim that blows no good. And civilization goes forward
on a succession of disasters such as those which constantly
befall the Anderson's take.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
We'll take the sad events of the past weekend.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
They had their effect on the progress of man in
a great many ways.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
For example, in the arts, I'm.
Speaker 7 (26:09):
A success, mother, I'm a success. Oh, I'm the biggest
thing in Springfield since Henry Carry.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Lady, will you please stand still?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Do you know what happened in school today?
Speaker 7 (26:20):
Every girl on the campus was wearing eight shades of
nail polish the sciences.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Did you know that the roofs toxicadendron amidst a gluk
acide that causes violent itching even after it's all dried up?
Rus What boyson?
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Ivy what about it?
Speaker 6 (26:40):
It was mixed up with a hey and everybody who
went on the ride.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Is sick in bed and general education.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I was the only one in the whole class who
knew about daylight.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Saving what's fine to you.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
And next April when the clocks go.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Back, Kathy, they don't go back in April, they go ahead.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Oh I know, I mean when they go back on
daylight saving.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
What about it?
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Well, I'll just know why.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
That's all good, Jim.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
Yes, Margaret, I understand all about the clocks and why
you turn them back. Yes, but I certainly think someone
ought to tell the newspapers what well. They're the ones
who get everybody confused.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
If they just said we lose an hour, then naturally
we turn the clocks back.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
But we don't lose an hour. We gain an hour.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
If you turn the clock's.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Back, Margaret, you get the hour over again. That's why
they say you gain an hour. If it's eight o'clock
and you turn your watch back to seven o'clock, then
you've got sixty whole minutes to live over again. If
you turn them ahead, you skip an hour and you
lose it. That's why the newspapers.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Say life is swell when you keep well. And what
(28:12):
better way to help keep well than with post forty
percent brand flakes. America's favorite brand flakes, post Bran flakes
provide brand to help prevent irregularity. Due to lack of
bulk in the diet, plus important vitamins and minerals, and
you'll love the delicious flavor of Post brand flakes. Serve
them for breakfast tomorrow. Remember life is swell when you
(28:37):
keep well. Try Post forty percent brand flakes. Join us
again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best,
starring Robert young Is, Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargee and
the Maxwell House Orchestra.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
And yours truly, Bill Foreman.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from
the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee.
Always good till the last drop. Father Knows Best was
transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed Jake. Now stay
tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of
(29:17):
these stations.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Yes, now it's Dragnet.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Listen Sunday for Charlie Wilde on NBC
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