July 26, 2025 • 30 mins
A compilation of humorous shows ranging from slapstick sketches to witty banter and family sitcoms. This series highlights the timeless appeal of laughter and character-driven comedy.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Johnson's Wax program with Fiver McGhee.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And Mollie.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Making the Johnson's Wax and Johnson's Self Polishing blow coats
present Fiber McGee and Molly with Bill Thompson, Gail Gordon Othaku,
Brian Dick mcgrand and me Hallow Wilcox.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
The script is by Don Quinn.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And Phil Leslie, music by The Kingsman and Billy Madles orchestras.
Two weeks ago we first announced the big news Johnson's
glow Coat is now positively water repellent at last, as
(00:42):
a self polishing floor wax that does not streak nor
leave ugly spots when you wipe up still things, does
not wipe off nor lose it shine when you mop it.
Since that first announcement, thousands have asked, can I get
the new blowcoat now at my dealer's Well. The answer
is yes. Everyday is now completely stocked with a new
water repellent glow Coote. You'll find it in the same
(01:05):
familiar yellow container with the bright red band. All you
have to do is look for the name Glowcote to
be sure of getting the one self polishing floor wax
that is positively water repellent.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
He looks just the same.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
On the outside, Harbard, what a wonderful improvement inside. Don't
wait to give your floors this new protection tomorrow. Get
Johnson's new water repellent glow Coote. It's the your dealers
now in the regular glowcote package. Due to an error
(01:41):
made by a late for a dates stenographer in typing
out the governor's annual proclamation, today's Thanksgiving and wistful vistas.
But the squire of number seventy nine is in no.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Mood for it. He just got his tax bill.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
He thinks this is a day for vultures, not turkeys.
To him, as we meet Bimmer McGhee and Mollie, why
look at this tax bill?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Will yet one hundred and twenty four bucks and sixty
eight cents taxes on real estate and property we already owned?
Is that robbery or in it?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It ain't?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
I mean, I mean it isn't.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Well that's better.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
You know.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
That's four dollars less than we paid last year.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
My gosh, it ought to be less. It ought to
be a lot less.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Think of the depreciation, Think of the wearing.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Terror, Think of the time I think of my ear
drums and stop shouting.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Well, gee, whizz one hundred and twenty four dollars.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I'm sweetheart, you're a fine broth of a boy. But
you woke up this morning full.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Of crew Tom, calm.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Down, relax, baby.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I woke up this morning full of gladness. I could
hardly shave for laughing. I sang in the shower. I
loved humanity. I was happy, old McGee, the smiling elk.
And then what happened? I get a tax bill for
one hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents
for what I ask you for?
Speaker 5 (03:07):
What? Legee?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Huh?
Speaker 5 (03:08):
You're awfully cute when your eyes flash fire like that,
but I don't want you to scorch your eyelashes. Will
you listen to mother a minute?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Sure, but I warn you I'm in a very unreasonable mood.
Yes I know, but after all, this is Thanksgiving, ah Thanksgiving, Padah.
Thanksgiving was all very well for an ignorant pilgrim. What
taxes did he have on a little old homemade log
cabin and a rusty blunderbuss.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Well, as long as you're so upset about expenses, you
don't have to take me out for Thanksgiving dinner, like
you promised, I'll fix something at home, see you will,
certainly I'd love to do it. Huh, what do I
care if I just got a new permanent and a
facial and spend my month's allowance on a new hat
and haven't got anything in the house to eat. Accept
(03:59):
some care and a half a dozen wienies.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I'll we fix for mustard.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Our last drop of mustard went to the dry leaders
yesterday on your blue necktie.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Well, and we better eat off. I can't eat weenies
without mustard.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
Well all right, but remember now I thought to stay home.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I know, kitt the taxis are going to ruin us anyway,
so we might as well go to the poorhouse and
a cat Mike I.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Can come in. Well, have any days. Happy Thanksgiving, doctor, Viggie,
it's doctor.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Gamble, Hello, my dear, and the happy Thanksgiving to you too,
Turkey face, thank you, thank you stuffing.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Belt, And don't blather about Thanksgiving to me. I ain't
any mood for it, Sonny.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Did I ever tell you about the time my aunt's
cat fell into the vat of dill pickles?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
No, you didn't, Doctor.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
What that cat got to do with me.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Oh, nothing, nothing at all, except that you are the
sour twus i've seen since.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So easy.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
A little upset every tax bill, doctor, a little upset.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You know what my tax bill was?
Speaker 5 (05:13):
That's so one hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty
eight cents.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Mine was two hundred and ten for the same size house.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Yeah, but you got a gravel driveway?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
A look, snook? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Must you always be beefing about something? You're a chronic complainer.
You have the warm, human emotional soul of a slag heap.
By the way, Molly's speaking of slag heaps.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I'll have eat my Thanksgiving dinner at the hospital.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
May I drop in here after hood for a cup
of her coffee?
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Why? Doctor, we'd love to have you do that, except
that McGee's taking me out to dinner. Where are we going?
Speaker 6 (05:49):
McGee?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
Anyway?
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Guss, you can get a table to hope dinner. They're
all a cart for two bucks.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
A throw a table to hote dinner.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I'll a cart.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What'ly think up next?
Speaker 5 (06:01):
I've never been there myself.
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Is it nice?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Nice? Why?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
My guys?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
They even got a sextet of five fiddle players on
the balcony playing the violin on cellows.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yes, and the music is free. Trauss is on the house.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Have fun, children, fun with a tax bill hanging over
me for one hundred and twenty four dollars, please, Maggie,
please one word of advice, scrouched bag, Yes, nook, I am.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
An expert more or less on contagious diseases. According to
my researches, one of the most infectious things in existence
is a smile. It will hurt a little at first,
but try one, son, Maybe you can start an epidemic. Clarn,
Molly got all.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
Jelly mails the orchestra, im bye bye baby.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
The s.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
One hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents
taxes on this house? Why the dirty high binders? What
if ambandits want blood?
Speaker 5 (09:10):
No, I think they want money, McGee. The bill says.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Maybe they're just confused down there at that city hall.
Maybe they think I want to buy this house. Maybe
they don't know I already bought it and paid for
it with my own sweat and tears.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Yeah, sweat, tears and a lucky raffle ticket. Don't forget.
As a matter of fact, mcgie, this house only costs
that's two dollars you know.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Oh, my gosh, that makes it even worse. One hundred
and twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents taxes on
a two dollar house. I don't it's outrageous, it's unconstitutional.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
It's totally from the Oaks Club.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Come in, o McGhee, Hello, missus, Happy Thanksgiving?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Thank you, Olie, and the same to you.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
What's happy about it?
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Look, I don't know if that's eating you today, McGee,
but I know today i'd only see turkey. I'm in
a turkey last week in the raffle, a Tory pound turkey.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
My gosh, only a thirty pounder.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
That's that to say advice after the apple?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
And I believe it too.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
The bones alone must have had twenty eighth proms.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
My goodness, your wife must be planning quite at dinner early.
Are you having some friends over?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No friends, matches us relatives.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
My sister in.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
Law Julia, she's spending her vacation in a dark hall.
Oh well, she's got a good job in the city.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
She's a governess. Is she go home?
Speaker 9 (10:33):
Do it?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
The governess?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
My gosh, married the governor. Hey, which governor did she likes?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
On hall?
Speaker 10 (10:41):
No?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
McGhee. Governess is a lady who well, she stays with
the family and takes care of the children.
Speaker 11 (10:47):
Oh a suitor.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
You said something there, McGee.
Speaker 6 (10:52):
Since she comes two weeks ago, she don't stop sitting
all day in.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
My easy share.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Where does your sister she.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Works for an Irish family in the city messages you know.
I had a big idea yesterday. If it worked, she goes.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Home, but it didn't come up good.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah, and I what you do? Give her a hot
put Why don't you try something submer like throwing her
trunks out.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
The window with her in him.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Now quiet and again listen.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
But I did, missus. I call her up on the
phone from the l's club and I changed my voice
the Irish dialect. Oh hello, I say, Julia, And I
say that's just your boss, mister jan Yale o'mary.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Y yale. Math sure, Julia, I.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Say the goora the use can't get along without.
Speaker 6 (11:50):
So that you please wash up your vacation.
Speaker 10 (11:52):
In vistul whistle and come back on the off.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But it ain't bord. It don't work.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Allow somebody wants to tip her. Maybe one of the
kids told it was you say how many kids you
got at your house only anyhow, I know two of them,
but there are more, aren't there?
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Because well sure me and the message. We got three kids.
Now he got another of them on the way.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Oh that's wonderful. I didn't know that.
Speaker 11 (12:17):
Only another youngster on the way.
Speaker 6 (12:19):
Yeah, my oldest boy laws, he's on the way from Chicago.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Go ahead, go meet the.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Stream now so long, there's hold on?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
All was I doing when only come in here? Seems
to me I was sorry about them? Oh that's that
Rodd's pocket picking first natch and tax department, I'll say,
I'm stomic.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
He don't get all worked out?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Why did this tax thing burn me up? Get your
hacket or I'm going to get on with that city.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Hall and the city hall, sweetheart, is closed today. This
is Thanksgiving, remember, a day of smiles and sweetness and light,
a day of joy and gratitude for our blessings.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Well, it shows what dirty cords those guys are taken
a legal holiday for me. Don't my tax bill that
came yesterday on?
Speaker 5 (13:04):
They knew what.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Ful?
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Happy Thanksgiving kids, and the same to you, mister Wilcock's
nice to see.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Happy Thanksgiving, he says. Sure, it's a Happy Thanksgiving for him?
Has he seen our tax bill?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
When I say Happy Thanksgiving today, I'm not kidding, kids,
I've got plenty to be thankful for it.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Well, we all have, mister Wilkins.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Them tax bandit's loose, terrorizing inocent people with their big bills.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Yes, and see because with Johnson's self polishing glocal it's
a new water repellent blow code. I can really talk
turkey to housewives these days.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Ah cranberry shorn look with conditions like they are odiously
here at last, kids, is a self polishing for a
wax that is positively water repellent, a wax that stays
on and stays bright, even have to repeat it damp moppings.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Is it gravy repellent to mister Wilcot because lots of
people will spill gravy.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Kids, Absolutely absolutely with Johnson's new water and gravy repellent
blow code.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Aren't your floor?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I know him jug and wife fill things up with
the damn claws or mop them up if you like,
but you don't wipe the wax off your floor. I'd
like to wipe out that tax cor because my cause,
because glow coat stays on and stays bright longer. Not
days longer, but weeks longer. So Johnson's do you want
to repell it?
Speaker 5 (14:17):
Glow?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Hey, Hey, the finest, Hey, it.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Is less the last word. Look, please, Waxy.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'm sorry, pal, but I gotta get going. You see,
my aunt is having eighteen relatives over to her house
tonight for a duck dinner, and I'm trying to think
of a way a wait of what duck dinner?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
God, how cann't I.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Talk about food? And the whole tax structure.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
The whole nation is tumbling down around his ears, the
whole world in a turmoil, and Wilcox goes right on
making a living.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
For goodness sake, smiggee, forget usself tomorrow. At least it
isn't gonna wreck our whole world, the economy.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Here the principle of the thing, Molly, one hundred and
twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents on the house
that I only got an investment of two bucks in.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
It's outrageous. It's exuberant, That's what it is.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
Exorbitant.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I'm glad you agree with me.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Why this thing?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I'm out to government conjugation of property. You know that
this could go into Where are you.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Going up to get dressed? It's nearly time to leave.
If we're going to Gustus for dinner. Now you better
get shaped.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Too, dear, Okay, toutsy how nice time? You know? In
a minute? Oh there goes a good kid, and Steady
is a rock. She knows the whole world is in
a mess, Russia with the Adam bomb, the pool table
at the elks with a two foot hole, tore in
the cloth, and me with a tax bill for one
hundred and twenty five bucks.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
But is she worried?
Speaker 4 (15:52):
No, sir, when she gets hundred peoples come in him.
See you anywall, Come on if you want to. But
I warn you I'm in a rotten humor.
Speaker 11 (16:04):
Oh that's okay, misterief.
Speaker 12 (16:06):
Happy Thanksgiving anyhow, Oh happy Thanksgiving.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
I'm source, if you understand, I'm steamed up like a
clam dinner. If I was running this tom.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
There'd be no Texas.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
I'm against taxes anyhow.
Speaker 11 (16:22):
G mister, our teacher was too yesterday at Mantes.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
She was a she was I said she was a was.
Speaker 13 (16:30):
Your teacher was against taxes yesterday.
Speaker 11 (16:41):
Willie Jukes put him in her chair. Stay with some taxes.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Only it wasn't no.
Speaker 11 (16:56):
Skippers, okay, mischief.
Speaker 12 (17:00):
We had a wonderful play at school yesterday. I'll bet
you this pill drums and Indians. That's a beautiful pilgrim maiden.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Well that's fine, says now you're on a long hold.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
Well I got time, mister. I'm in no hurry, I'll
I said, I'll playing.
Speaker 11 (17:18):
I I said, who play with all?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Oh no, no, no, no, absolutely not.
Speaker 12 (17:23):
Okay, just don't have a sea the big scene, mm
I the beautiful pillgrim maiden am tied to a steak.
See yeah, and the savage redskins switched out of kindergarten
kids with watercolors on their face. That they're gonna sculpture me?
(17:44):
And what sculpture me?
Speaker 11 (17:47):
Cut off my sculpt with a wilyhawk.
Speaker 14 (17:54):
My hawk, Tommy didn't have one, So when you have
to used billy, it's very uninteresting.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
I look at Will.
Speaker 12 (18:08):
He comes sneaking through the forest with his trusty born
now on he really fell down and the al out
of his hand and shot the principal behind the pottect
pim and the principal screamed and jumped on our teacher's.
Speaker 11 (18:23):
Foot and she let go the rope that holds a
curtain up, and the curtain fall down and knocked one
of the savage redskins in at the front row in
the school superintenon twelve and broke's glasses. And now we
got a new rule at our school. No more place, Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:51):
The King's man.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I'm the last mile home.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
You can travel around the goal and see a lot
of things, from man to my pain terrace in the streams,
but travel as you will.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
You only love one.
Speaker 8 (19:16):
The longest last, my home where you've been.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Dy streams, not dreams.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
Of home where you've been.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
You see.
Speaker 9 (19:41):
One day it's as clear.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
As can be the long at my all.
Speaker 9 (19:57):
Utre. Then Monday it's as clear as can.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Be long at my.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Yes, I'm gonna sip this good cruise again. I'm certainly
(20:59):
glad you assisted we have our Thanksgiving dinner out.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
You know me, kiddo, you're a lulu in the kitchen.
But now and then I get hungry for a good
restaurant cook meal. But I was telling you, but when
I had at the training table in my baseball name.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Mister and missus McGee is everything, all of her just fine.
Thank you guys. This is a wonderful dinner.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Ought to be two bucks a throw?
Speaker 10 (21:20):
Where would I be back pretty quick?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Anything you want?
Speaker 6 (21:23):
You speak up?
Speaker 11 (21:24):
Okay, guess what were you saying about your baseball days? McGee?
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Uh oh, yeah, Well we didn't get meals like this
when I was in training.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
Well what you play first base, wasn't it.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
I was a pitcher.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Manager of the team saw me standing around one day
and he says, you pitch, don't you, shorty? And I says, sure,
I'll do. You know well all he says, you're small and.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
You got big ears, and little pitchers have got big ears.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
So go get into a uniform. Let's see what you got.
Speaker 13 (21:50):
It's always relief pitcher.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
I travel all over with the team softball no. MA,
mostly around the Middle West. I wish I would have
stayed a baseball player, missus bones. Baseball players don't get
(22:11):
why but one hundred and twenty five dollars tax bills
one hundred and twenty four dollars.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Ashtary, hushtig. You're talking to a lot of people are looking.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Let them look by, George.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
One of these days, isn't that Latrivia sitting at the
table behind the post?
Speaker 5 (22:22):
There one of these days. It probably is, sure it is.
Speaker 11 (22:26):
Hey, Latrivia, I didn't.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
You let the man finish his dinner? Hello, your honor,
it's nice to see you.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Oh hello Latrivia. You're just the guy I wanted to
see sat down.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well just for a moment.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
Oh, so please stop waving that piece of paper in
my face.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
That's no ordinary piece of paper, mister mayor. That's the
declaration of war.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
What are this tax bill? La Trivia? I want to
protest by.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
George Leans and keep your voice down to a bellow,
Christer Mayer. This may I apologize for breaking into your thanksgivings.
That silly tax isn't Oh that's.
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Quite all right, Molly. As mayor of this city, it
is my duty to listen to the protests of citizens
at any time of the night or day, or on holidays. Holidays,
I haven't had a decent holiday since doctor Gamble took
my appendix.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Now, well, as the nurse said when she pulled the
string out of the candle and told the patient to
get out of bed, there's no wick for the rest of.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Who was the patient and why were they using candles?
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Fuse blown out of course not that was just a
kind of a gag saying, I know.
Speaker 7 (23:40):
You will permit me to correct your McGee saying, is
not no wick for the rest, it's no.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Rest for the wickers.
Speaker 5 (23:46):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I know that dog gone.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
It was just a joke.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I made up a joke, a joke.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
I don't see anything funny in a nurse yanking of
patient out of bed.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
Was it one of Gamble's cases?
Speaker 4 (23:59):
No, it's wasn't.
Speaker 13 (24:00):
It wasn't the case at all.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
All I say, don't choose candles in doctor Gamble's hospital.
Mister Mayor must have been some little bitty hospital because
it was.
Speaker 13 (24:08):
Not a heart lay of price, little ice pail.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
At the candle, a love let trip.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
When you said I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I'd like to stay and hear more about the way
those nurses handle their patient.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
I want nursing about the kidding, the panel, the patient
of the kendle candle.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
While my sist was the holdings.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
Card that rights carter. You said, I was I want
to help you the fish.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
I was you.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Latridia.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yes McGee, you're going to be in your office tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Are you coming in? Yes?
Speaker 4 (24:47):
No, good day, Molly, I'm.
Speaker 9 (24:51):
Still sen your.
Speaker 11 (24:59):
Here.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
I can not say this was no occasion to take
up the matter of your tax bill with the mayor.
This is Thanksgiving?
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Yeah, fine, Thanksgiving with bankrupture breathing down my neck.
Speaker 10 (25:08):
Excuse me, please, mister McGee, if you don't look happy
about something?
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Is something the matter with dinner?
Speaker 10 (25:13):
Maybe?
Speaker 5 (25:14):
No, gos, there was a beautiful dinner, just lovely good.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
How's about some nice deserts?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
No, thanks, Gus, I'm too upset.
Speaker 10 (25:21):
What's up satting you, mister McGee? Is it anything I
can do something about it?
Speaker 4 (25:24):
I'm afraid not, Gus. Just take a look at this
tax bill? One hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty
eight cents on a house we already owned.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Good, gracious, you own a house?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Isn't that wonderful?
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Wonderful? What wonderful?
Speaker 5 (25:36):
Trying to find a house for my wife.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And kids, but so far we're just living in a crater.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
Really, guess how many killers have you?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Only?
Speaker 5 (25:43):
Seven?
Speaker 10 (25:44):
But they're very noisy, like either nine. Sometimes art must
be very nice having a house, I think.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Yeah, But my gosh, gus, one hundred and twenty four I'll.
Speaker 6 (25:54):
Ever forget when I get my citizenship.
Speaker 10 (25:57):
The judge says, Gus. He says, why are you to
be a United States citizen? So I say, judge, I say,
for a big judge, you ask very silly questions. I
want to be a United States citizen because over here
nobody is saying, Gus, your papa was a shoemaker, so
you got to be a shoemaker. Here, everybody can do
(26:17):
what he wants to do. My kid is as good
as anybody else's kids. That's all very When we comes
from old country and little afraid, but we see statue
of liberty holding up a lamp. My wife she gets tears.
She says, Gus, that lamps is signing for people like us.
We work hard here, We pay taxes with gladness, so
(26:37):
that lamp is stay it for other people's For us,
mister McGee is three hundred and sixty five thanksgivings every year.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
And no dessert, no.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Thank you guess, no dessert me.
Speaker 10 (26:51):
Just give me the checks, no check today, mister McGee,
for my friends. I start this business with help from
people like you. You're good to me, and everybody is
good to me. Thanksgiving is from me to you, and
thank you very much for comma.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Thanks you very much, gussif to be my.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I will see you next week. Guests.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
Come on, now then, what were we talking about?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Megie, there's tax bills one hundred and twenty four dollars
and sixty eight cents.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Oh, I don't for a swell little house like dollars.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
My gosh, it ought to be at least two hundred.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
I'm going to see the assessor tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
See quit.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Fever and Molly return in a moment. It's the biggest
news in floor care. It's the most important development in
self publishing flour axes in the past fifteen years. Johnson's
new glow coat is now positively water repellent. It does
not show ugly streaks or spots when you wipe up,
stays on, stays bright even after repeated damp moppings. Now
(28:05):
you don't have to rewax your whole floor every time
you spill something on it. Now you don't kill the
shine of your bright waxed floor first time you mop it.
Now you can get the new self polishing floor wax
that's positively water repellent. It's Johnson's new glow coat. Protect
your floors from wear and water. Give yourself you freedom
from floor care drudgery.
Speaker 6 (28:26):
Tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
First thing, get Johnson's new water repellent glow coat. It's
the newer dealers in the familiar yellow container with a
bright red band.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Well, that was a nice finish for a Thanksgiving Daygie
guest serves the pine needle, doesn't he.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I'll say I never walked in there yet, but I
didn't waddle out. I think I'll get all his customers
together and organize.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
A ptu PTA. You mean PTA, Yes, you mean Sharing
Teachers Association.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Protruding Tummies of America.
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Good night.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Don't spend hours cleaning and polishing your furniture for Thanksgiving.
Get your furniture sparkling clean and shining bright with one
application of Johnson's Cream Furniture Wax. It's the fastest wax
furniture polish money can buy. In fact, Johnson's Cream Wax clean.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So quickly, polishes so quickly.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
That using it is almost as easy as doting. A
few strokes with a cloth gets furniture clean. A few
more and it's polished a gleaming brightness. And Johnson's Cream
Wax contains no sticky.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Oils to catch dust.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
This week Speed Thanksgiving cleaning with the fastest wax furniture
Polish money can buy. Get Johnson's Cream wax. Stay tuned
for Big Town coming to you next on NBC
Speaker 9 (30:11):
Boomoo
The Johnson's Wax program with Fiver McGhee.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And Mollie.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Making the Johnson's Wax and Johnson's Self Polishing blow coats
present Fiber McGee and Molly with Bill Thompson, Gail Gordon Othaku,
Brian Dick mcgrand and me Hallow Wilcox.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
The script is by Don Quinn.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And Phil Leslie, music by The Kingsman and Billy Madles orchestras.
Two weeks ago we first announced the big news Johnson's
glow Coat is now positively water repellent at last, as
(00:42):
a self polishing floor wax that does not streak nor
leave ugly spots when you wipe up still things, does
not wipe off nor lose it shine when you mop it.
Since that first announcement, thousands have asked, can I get
the new blowcoat now at my dealer's Well. The answer
is yes. Everyday is now completely stocked with a new
water repellent glow Coote. You'll find it in the same
(01:05):
familiar yellow container with the bright red band. All you
have to do is look for the name Glowcote to
be sure of getting the one self polishing floor wax
that is positively water repellent.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
He looks just the same.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
On the outside, Harbard, what a wonderful improvement inside. Don't
wait to give your floors this new protection tomorrow. Get
Johnson's new water repellent glow Coote. It's the your dealers
now in the regular glowcote package. Due to an error
(01:41):
made by a late for a dates stenographer in typing
out the governor's annual proclamation, today's Thanksgiving and wistful vistas.
But the squire of number seventy nine is in no.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Mood for it. He just got his tax bill.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
He thinks this is a day for vultures, not turkeys.
To him, as we meet Bimmer McGhee and Mollie, why
look at this tax bill?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Will yet one hundred and twenty four bucks and sixty
eight cents taxes on real estate and property we already owned?
Is that robbery or in it?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It ain't?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
I mean, I mean it isn't.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Well that's better.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
You know.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
That's four dollars less than we paid last year.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
My gosh, it ought to be less. It ought to
be a lot less.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Think of the depreciation, Think of the wearing.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Terror, Think of the time I think of my ear
drums and stop shouting.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Well, gee, whizz one hundred and twenty four dollars.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I'm sweetheart, you're a fine broth of a boy. But
you woke up this morning full.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Of crew Tom, calm.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Down, relax, baby.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I woke up this morning full of gladness. I could
hardly shave for laughing. I sang in the shower. I
loved humanity. I was happy, old McGee, the smiling elk.
And then what happened? I get a tax bill for
one hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents
for what I ask you for?
Speaker 5 (03:07):
What? Legee?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Huh?
Speaker 5 (03:08):
You're awfully cute when your eyes flash fire like that,
but I don't want you to scorch your eyelashes. Will
you listen to mother a minute?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Sure, but I warn you I'm in a very unreasonable mood.
Yes I know, but after all, this is Thanksgiving, ah Thanksgiving, Padah.
Thanksgiving was all very well for an ignorant pilgrim. What
taxes did he have on a little old homemade log
cabin and a rusty blunderbuss.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Well, as long as you're so upset about expenses, you
don't have to take me out for Thanksgiving dinner, like
you promised, I'll fix something at home, see you will,
certainly I'd love to do it. Huh, what do I
care if I just got a new permanent and a
facial and spend my month's allowance on a new hat
and haven't got anything in the house to eat. Accept
(03:59):
some care and a half a dozen wienies.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I'll we fix for mustard.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Our last drop of mustard went to the dry leaders
yesterday on your blue necktie.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Well, and we better eat off. I can't eat weenies
without mustard.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
Well all right, but remember now I thought to stay home.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I know, kitt the taxis are going to ruin us anyway,
so we might as well go to the poorhouse and
a cat Mike I.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Can come in. Well, have any days. Happy Thanksgiving, doctor, Viggie,
it's doctor.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Gamble, Hello, my dear, and the happy Thanksgiving to you too,
Turkey face, thank you, thank you stuffing.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Belt, And don't blather about Thanksgiving to me. I ain't
any mood for it, Sonny.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Did I ever tell you about the time my aunt's
cat fell into the vat of dill pickles?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
No, you didn't, Doctor.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
What that cat got to do with me.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Oh, nothing, nothing at all, except that you are the
sour twus i've seen since.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So easy.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
A little upset every tax bill, doctor, a little upset.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You know what my tax bill was?
Speaker 5 (05:13):
That's so one hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty
eight cents.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Mine was two hundred and ten for the same size house.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Yeah, but you got a gravel driveway?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
A look, snook? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Must you always be beefing about something? You're a chronic complainer.
You have the warm, human emotional soul of a slag heap.
By the way, Molly's speaking of slag heaps.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I'll have eat my Thanksgiving dinner at the hospital.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
May I drop in here after hood for a cup
of her coffee?
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Why? Doctor, we'd love to have you do that, except
that McGee's taking me out to dinner. Where are we going?
Speaker 6 (05:49):
McGee?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
Anyway?
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Guss, you can get a table to hope dinner. They're
all a cart for two bucks.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
A throw a table to hote dinner.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I'll a cart.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What'ly think up next?
Speaker 5 (06:01):
I've never been there myself.
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Is it nice?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Nice? Why?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
My guys?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
They even got a sextet of five fiddle players on
the balcony playing the violin on cellows.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yes, and the music is free. Trauss is on the house.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Have fun, children, fun with a tax bill hanging over
me for one hundred and twenty four dollars, please, Maggie,
please one word of advice, scrouched bag, Yes, nook, I am.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
An expert more or less on contagious diseases. According to
my researches, one of the most infectious things in existence
is a smile. It will hurt a little at first,
but try one, son, Maybe you can start an epidemic. Clarn,
Molly got all.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
Jelly mails the orchestra, im bye bye baby.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
The s.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
One hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents
taxes on this house? Why the dirty high binders? What
if ambandits want blood?
Speaker 5 (09:10):
No, I think they want money, McGee. The bill says.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Maybe they're just confused down there at that city hall.
Maybe they think I want to buy this house. Maybe
they don't know I already bought it and paid for
it with my own sweat and tears.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Yeah, sweat, tears and a lucky raffle ticket. Don't forget.
As a matter of fact, mcgie, this house only costs
that's two dollars you know.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Oh, my gosh, that makes it even worse. One hundred
and twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents taxes on
a two dollar house. I don't it's outrageous, it's unconstitutional.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
It's totally from the Oaks Club.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Come in, o McGhee, Hello, missus, Happy Thanksgiving?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Thank you, Olie, and the same to you.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
What's happy about it?
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Look, I don't know if that's eating you today, McGee,
but I know today i'd only see turkey. I'm in
a turkey last week in the raffle, a Tory pound turkey.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
My gosh, only a thirty pounder.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
That's that to say advice after the apple?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
And I believe it too.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
The bones alone must have had twenty eighth proms.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
My goodness, your wife must be planning quite at dinner early.
Are you having some friends over?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No friends, matches us relatives.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
My sister in.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
Law Julia, she's spending her vacation in a dark hall.
Oh well, she's got a good job in the city.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
She's a governess. Is she go home?
Speaker 9 (10:33):
Do it?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
The governess?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
My gosh, married the governor. Hey, which governor did she likes?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
On hall?
Speaker 10 (10:41):
No?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
McGhee. Governess is a lady who well, she stays with
the family and takes care of the children.
Speaker 11 (10:47):
Oh a suitor.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
You said something there, McGee.
Speaker 6 (10:52):
Since she comes two weeks ago, she don't stop sitting
all day in.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
My easy share.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Where does your sister she.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Works for an Irish family in the city messages you know.
I had a big idea yesterday. If it worked, she goes.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Home, but it didn't come up good.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah, and I what you do? Give her a hot
put Why don't you try something submer like throwing her
trunks out.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
The window with her in him.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Now quiet and again listen.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
But I did, missus. I call her up on the
phone from the l's club and I changed my voice
the Irish dialect. Oh hello, I say, Julia, And I
say that's just your boss, mister jan Yale o'mary.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Y yale. Math sure, Julia, I.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Say the goora the use can't get along without.
Speaker 6 (11:50):
So that you please wash up your vacation.
Speaker 10 (11:52):
In vistul whistle and come back on the off.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But it ain't bord. It don't work.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Allow somebody wants to tip her. Maybe one of the
kids told it was you say how many kids you
got at your house only anyhow, I know two of them,
but there are more, aren't there?
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Because well sure me and the message. We got three kids.
Now he got another of them on the way.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Oh that's wonderful. I didn't know that.
Speaker 11 (12:17):
Only another youngster on the way.
Speaker 6 (12:19):
Yeah, my oldest boy laws, he's on the way from Chicago.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Go ahead, go meet the.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Stream now so long, there's hold on?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
All was I doing when only come in here? Seems
to me I was sorry about them? Oh that's that
Rodd's pocket picking first natch and tax department, I'll say,
I'm stomic.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
He don't get all worked out?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Why did this tax thing burn me up? Get your
hacket or I'm going to get on with that city.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Hall and the city hall, sweetheart, is closed today. This
is Thanksgiving, remember, a day of smiles and sweetness and light,
a day of joy and gratitude for our blessings.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Well, it shows what dirty cords those guys are taken
a legal holiday for me. Don't my tax bill that
came yesterday on?
Speaker 5 (13:04):
They knew what.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Ful?
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Happy Thanksgiving kids, and the same to you, mister Wilcock's
nice to see.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Happy Thanksgiving, he says. Sure, it's a Happy Thanksgiving for him?
Has he seen our tax bill?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
When I say Happy Thanksgiving today, I'm not kidding, kids,
I've got plenty to be thankful for it.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Well, we all have, mister Wilkins.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Them tax bandit's loose, terrorizing inocent people with their big bills.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Yes, and see because with Johnson's self polishing glocal it's
a new water repellent blow code. I can really talk
turkey to housewives these days.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Ah cranberry shorn look with conditions like they are odiously
here at last, kids, is a self polishing for a
wax that is positively water repellent, a wax that stays
on and stays bright, even have to repeat it damp moppings.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Is it gravy repellent to mister Wilcot because lots of
people will spill gravy.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Kids, Absolutely absolutely with Johnson's new water and gravy repellent
blow code.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Aren't your floor?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I know him jug and wife fill things up with
the damn claws or mop them up if you like,
but you don't wipe the wax off your floor. I'd
like to wipe out that tax cor because my cause,
because glow coat stays on and stays bright longer. Not
days longer, but weeks longer. So Johnson's do you want
to repell it?
Speaker 5 (14:17):
Glow?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Hey, Hey, the finest, Hey, it.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Is less the last word. Look, please, Waxy.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'm sorry, pal, but I gotta get going. You see,
my aunt is having eighteen relatives over to her house
tonight for a duck dinner, and I'm trying to think
of a way a wait of what duck dinner?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
God, how cann't I.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Talk about food? And the whole tax structure.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
The whole nation is tumbling down around his ears, the
whole world in a turmoil, and Wilcox goes right on
making a living.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
For goodness sake, smiggee, forget usself tomorrow. At least it
isn't gonna wreck our whole world, the economy.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Here the principle of the thing, Molly, one hundred and
twenty four dollars and sixty eight cents on the house
that I only got an investment of two bucks in.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
It's outrageous. It's exuberant, That's what it is.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
Exorbitant.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I'm glad you agree with me.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Why this thing?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I'm out to government conjugation of property. You know that
this could go into Where are you.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Going up to get dressed? It's nearly time to leave.
If we're going to Gustus for dinner. Now you better
get shaped.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Too, dear, Okay, toutsy how nice time? You know? In
a minute? Oh there goes a good kid, and Steady
is a rock. She knows the whole world is in
a mess, Russia with the Adam bomb, the pool table
at the elks with a two foot hole, tore in
the cloth, and me with a tax bill for one
hundred and twenty five bucks.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
But is she worried?
Speaker 4 (15:52):
No, sir, when she gets hundred peoples come in him.
See you anywall, Come on if you want to. But
I warn you I'm in a rotten humor.
Speaker 11 (16:04):
Oh that's okay, misterief.
Speaker 12 (16:06):
Happy Thanksgiving anyhow, Oh happy Thanksgiving.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
I'm source, if you understand, I'm steamed up like a
clam dinner. If I was running this tom.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
There'd be no Texas.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
I'm against taxes anyhow.
Speaker 11 (16:22):
G mister, our teacher was too yesterday at Mantes.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
She was a she was I said she was a was.
Speaker 13 (16:30):
Your teacher was against taxes yesterday.
Speaker 11 (16:41):
Willie Jukes put him in her chair. Stay with some taxes.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Only it wasn't no.
Speaker 11 (16:56):
Skippers, okay, mischief.
Speaker 12 (17:00):
We had a wonderful play at school yesterday. I'll bet
you this pill drums and Indians. That's a beautiful pilgrim maiden.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Well that's fine, says now you're on a long hold.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
Well I got time, mister. I'm in no hurry, I'll
I said, I'll playing.
Speaker 11 (17:18):
I I said, who play with all?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Oh no, no, no, no, absolutely not.
Speaker 12 (17:23):
Okay, just don't have a sea the big scene, mm
I the beautiful pillgrim maiden am tied to a steak.
See yeah, and the savage redskins switched out of kindergarten
kids with watercolors on their face. That they're gonna sculpture me?
(17:44):
And what sculpture me?
Speaker 11 (17:47):
Cut off my sculpt with a wilyhawk.
Speaker 14 (17:54):
My hawk, Tommy didn't have one, So when you have
to used billy, it's very uninteresting.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
I look at Will.
Speaker 12 (18:08):
He comes sneaking through the forest with his trusty born
now on he really fell down and the al out
of his hand and shot the principal behind the pottect
pim and the principal screamed and jumped on our teacher's.
Speaker 11 (18:23):
Foot and she let go the rope that holds a
curtain up, and the curtain fall down and knocked one
of the savage redskins in at the front row in
the school superintenon twelve and broke's glasses. And now we
got a new rule at our school. No more place, Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:51):
The King's man.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I'm the last mile home.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
You can travel around the goal and see a lot
of things, from man to my pain terrace in the streams,
but travel as you will.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
You only love one.
Speaker 8 (19:16):
The longest last, my home where you've been.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Dy streams, not dreams.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
Of home where you've been.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
You see.
Speaker 9 (19:41):
One day it's as clear.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
As can be the long at my all.
Speaker 9 (19:57):
Utre. Then Monday it's as clear as can.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Be long at my.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Yes, I'm gonna sip this good cruise again. I'm certainly
(20:59):
glad you assisted we have our Thanksgiving dinner out.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
You know me, kiddo, you're a lulu in the kitchen.
But now and then I get hungry for a good
restaurant cook meal. But I was telling you, but when
I had at the training table in my baseball name.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Mister and missus McGee is everything, all of her just fine.
Thank you guys. This is a wonderful dinner.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Ought to be two bucks a throw?
Speaker 10 (21:20):
Where would I be back pretty quick?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Anything you want?
Speaker 6 (21:23):
You speak up?
Speaker 11 (21:24):
Okay, guess what were you saying about your baseball days? McGee?
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Uh oh, yeah, Well we didn't get meals like this
when I was in training.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
Well what you play first base, wasn't it.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
I was a pitcher.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Manager of the team saw me standing around one day
and he says, you pitch, don't you, shorty? And I says, sure,
I'll do. You know well all he says, you're small and.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
You got big ears, and little pitchers have got big ears.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
So go get into a uniform. Let's see what you got.
Speaker 13 (21:50):
It's always relief pitcher.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
I travel all over with the team softball no. MA,
mostly around the Middle West. I wish I would have
stayed a baseball player, missus bones. Baseball players don't get
(22:11):
why but one hundred and twenty five dollars tax bills
one hundred and twenty four dollars.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Ashtary, hushtig. You're talking to a lot of people are looking.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Let them look by, George.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
One of these days, isn't that Latrivia sitting at the
table behind the post?
Speaker 5 (22:22):
There one of these days. It probably is, sure it is.
Speaker 11 (22:26):
Hey, Latrivia, I didn't.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
You let the man finish his dinner? Hello, your honor,
it's nice to see you.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Oh hello Latrivia. You're just the guy I wanted to
see sat down.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well just for a moment.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
Oh, so please stop waving that piece of paper in
my face.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
That's no ordinary piece of paper, mister mayor. That's the
declaration of war.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
What are this tax bill? La Trivia? I want to
protest by.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
George Leans and keep your voice down to a bellow,
Christer Mayer. This may I apologize for breaking into your thanksgivings.
That silly tax isn't Oh that's.
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Quite all right, Molly. As mayor of this city, it
is my duty to listen to the protests of citizens
at any time of the night or day, or on holidays. Holidays,
I haven't had a decent holiday since doctor Gamble took
my appendix.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Now, well, as the nurse said when she pulled the
string out of the candle and told the patient to
get out of bed, there's no wick for the rest of.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Who was the patient and why were they using candles?
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Fuse blown out of course not that was just a
kind of a gag saying, I know.
Speaker 7 (23:40):
You will permit me to correct your McGee saying, is
not no wick for the rest, it's no.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Rest for the wickers.
Speaker 5 (23:46):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I know that dog gone.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
It was just a joke.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I made up a joke, a joke.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
I don't see anything funny in a nurse yanking of
patient out of bed.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
Was it one of Gamble's cases?
Speaker 4 (23:59):
No, it's wasn't.
Speaker 13 (24:00):
It wasn't the case at all.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
All I say, don't choose candles in doctor Gamble's hospital.
Mister Mayor must have been some little bitty hospital because
it was.
Speaker 13 (24:08):
Not a heart lay of price, little ice pail.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
At the candle, a love let trip.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
When you said I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I'd like to stay and hear more about the way
those nurses handle their patient.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
I want nursing about the kidding, the panel, the patient
of the kendle candle.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
While my sist was the holdings.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
Card that rights carter. You said, I was I want
to help you the fish.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
I was you.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Latridia.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yes McGee, you're going to be in your office tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Are you coming in? Yes?
Speaker 4 (24:47):
No, good day, Molly, I'm.
Speaker 9 (24:51):
Still sen your.
Speaker 11 (24:59):
Here.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
I can not say this was no occasion to take
up the matter of your tax bill with the mayor.
This is Thanksgiving?
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Yeah, fine, Thanksgiving with bankrupture breathing down my neck.
Speaker 10 (25:08):
Excuse me, please, mister McGee, if you don't look happy
about something?
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Is something the matter with dinner?
Speaker 10 (25:13):
Maybe?
Speaker 5 (25:14):
No, gos, there was a beautiful dinner, just lovely good.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
How's about some nice deserts?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
No, thanks, Gus, I'm too upset.
Speaker 10 (25:21):
What's up satting you, mister McGee? Is it anything I
can do something about it?
Speaker 4 (25:24):
I'm afraid not, Gus. Just take a look at this
tax bill? One hundred and twenty four dollars and sixty
eight cents on a house we already owned.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Good, gracious, you own a house?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Isn't that wonderful?
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Wonderful? What wonderful?
Speaker 5 (25:36):
Trying to find a house for my wife.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And kids, but so far we're just living in a crater.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
Really, guess how many killers have you?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Only?
Speaker 5 (25:43):
Seven?
Speaker 10 (25:44):
But they're very noisy, like either nine. Sometimes art must
be very nice having a house, I think.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Yeah, But my gosh, gus, one hundred and twenty four I'll.
Speaker 6 (25:54):
Ever forget when I get my citizenship.
Speaker 10 (25:57):
The judge says, Gus. He says, why are you to
be a United States citizen? So I say, judge, I say,
for a big judge, you ask very silly questions. I
want to be a United States citizen because over here
nobody is saying, Gus, your papa was a shoemaker, so
you got to be a shoemaker. Here, everybody can do
(26:17):
what he wants to do. My kid is as good
as anybody else's kids. That's all very When we comes
from old country and little afraid, but we see statue
of liberty holding up a lamp. My wife she gets tears.
She says, Gus, that lamps is signing for people like us.
We work hard here, We pay taxes with gladness, so
(26:37):
that lamp is stay it for other people's For us,
mister McGee is three hundred and sixty five thanksgivings every year.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
And no dessert, no.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Thank you guess, no dessert me.
Speaker 10 (26:51):
Just give me the checks, no check today, mister McGee,
for my friends. I start this business with help from
people like you. You're good to me, and everybody is
good to me. Thanksgiving is from me to you, and
thank you very much for comma.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Thanks you very much, gussif to be my.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I will see you next week. Guests.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
Come on, now then, what were we talking about?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Megie, there's tax bills one hundred and twenty four dollars
and sixty eight cents.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Oh, I don't for a swell little house like dollars.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
My gosh, it ought to be at least two hundred.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
I'm going to see the assessor tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
See quit.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Fever and Molly return in a moment. It's the biggest
news in floor care. It's the most important development in
self publishing flour axes in the past fifteen years. Johnson's
new glow coat is now positively water repellent. It does
not show ugly streaks or spots when you wipe up,
stays on, stays bright even after repeated damp moppings. Now
(28:05):
you don't have to rewax your whole floor every time
you spill something on it. Now you don't kill the
shine of your bright waxed floor first time you mop it.
Now you can get the new self polishing floor wax
that's positively water repellent. It's Johnson's new glow coat. Protect
your floors from wear and water. Give yourself you freedom
from floor care drudgery.
Speaker 6 (28:26):
Tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
First thing, get Johnson's new water repellent glow coat. It's
the newer dealers in the familiar yellow container with a
bright red band.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Well, that was a nice finish for a Thanksgiving Daygie
guest serves the pine needle, doesn't he.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I'll say I never walked in there yet, but I
didn't waddle out. I think I'll get all his customers
together and organize.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
A ptu PTA. You mean PTA, Yes, you mean Sharing
Teachers Association.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Protruding Tummies of America.
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Good night.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Don't spend hours cleaning and polishing your furniture for Thanksgiving.
Get your furniture sparkling clean and shining bright with one
application of Johnson's Cream Furniture Wax. It's the fastest wax
furniture polish money can buy. In fact, Johnson's Cream Wax clean.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So quickly, polishes so quickly.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
That using it is almost as easy as doting. A
few strokes with a cloth gets furniture clean. A few
more and it's polished a gleaming brightness. And Johnson's Cream
Wax contains no sticky.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Oils to catch dust.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
This week Speed Thanksgiving cleaning with the fastest wax furniture
Polish money can buy. Get Johnson's Cream wax. Stay tuned
for Big Town coming to you next on NBC
Speaker 9 (30:11):
Boomoo
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!