July 30, 2025 • 30 mins
A compilation of humorous shows ranging from slapstick sketches to witty banter and family sitcoms. This series highlights the timeless appeal of laughter and character-driven comedy.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mis Christmas with all the mant please your faith with
Blue Star blades. Friends, No razor blades are sharper than
blue Star blades, so why pay more with too blue
Star and get the quickest, modest shaves you ever had.
You'll agree, Blue Star blades win on face value. Five
(00:22):
day more for razor blades when you're made for noises
and now friends. Five from Hollywood, the American Safty Raising Corporation,
makers of Blue Star Razor blades, present The Red Skelton
Show with Rest Skelton. David rolls his office to Marine Dono,
(00:53):
Patrighi and Zick Ryan and the Swiss twins will be
me Rodoc now the s program. Red Skelton, Thank you,
(01:23):
good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Hi you Ron fellow rats,
I hear you were a big success at the dinner
the other night. Oh a lot of big stars there.
Oh yes. The autograph collectors had a cute gag. They
asked the stars the autograph full pages you see, and
dick players they asked to sign just half pages. Why
are you so disappointed? You ever try to sign a
(01:44):
spit ball? You know? There were there were a lot
of Autoba speakers outside the state door to night. As
I came in and someone yelled Red Skelton's in the crowd.
Walls turned around and looked at me school, so.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I was.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I know. One guy ran up with the then stuck
at my arm. He says, we'll just find this and Bud, buddy,
do you read it? Yeah, but I didn't notice the
rain with the run usual of course, driving to work
(02:24):
to night, I broke one of my oars. They write
me during the rainy days and then when the sun
comes out, everybody forgets. This year there not monny. Weather
sure has been rugged out here lately. First we have
rain and then it freezes. What do you think is
(02:44):
the cause of it? I think the Chamber of Commerce
has overdone it. They tell the rest of the country
what wonderful weather we have here in California. They've got
him convinced. It's so wonderful that even the Eastern weather
is moving out here. Hey, you know the song that
says e you know the song California where out from? Brother?
(03:07):
When you're saying, now they good news something? You know?
The guys setting in a bar out of the valley
and he says to the other guy's well, here's much.
You know, I just theb where came in. Tell me
right aws here in new electric blanket, working out of
these freezing nights. Oh fine, it keeps me as warm
(03:28):
as toast. The course. When it's time to wake up,
it topped me right out of there. Last night it
was really cold, gold. I caught it trying to crawl
under me. You know, last night it was so cold
that my pillow and my sheet ought to see you
(03:49):
would get under the blanket. Further, it was so cold
last night my my shorts was wearing my long underwear
eighty change. It does get you know, rot, I'm not freezing,
you're not new. Well if you should be a good year.
But I'm really worried about it being leap heer. Oh
(04:11):
but them pretty girl starts making advances. This lad should
have a man. The man thought with a sixty.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Year old boy.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
The Smithlan's not a thing of grand central.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Stateful polyicle go, I have holip living room.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
A as we're come, it's just my grandsons the station
where you call. It's just my grandsons the station. But
why all the fust my father, my brother, my little
(05:21):
sistrictions coming and going and going and coming stay and
see it's such a sad situation. More loveful bout that
where the heir congregation?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
How can we make us?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
We gotta get sided.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Now let's go to grandson the station away.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Before the pack.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
It's just like Grandson's station when you call me.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's just my grandsons the station.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
They will pay.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
See my young brother willingness.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Let's take you by the wing a little and now's
the dollar.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Everything that they're all a face, that is something that
they're all of this they're darling.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
Any wanting If we're not, I.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Want you.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You for crying not let's tell you grand and the
same and away from my mother's to mother, my sister,
my brother, let's talk to grandmand sat away.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Something lets face. I'm going to start the characters as own,
ground and honed in oil, made of the finest blue steel,
blue star blades, keen and sharp as blades can be. Yes,
(07:13):
then no razor blades are sharper than blue stars. No
blades give you quicker slickers, smoother shades, time and time again.
And it's all because, like the highest price blades, blue
star blades are ground and honed in oil, and they're
made of the finest blue steal yet Blue Star Blades
are economical as the regular package of single or double
(07:36):
edge ten cents, and the large economy size dispenses save
you even frive Blue Star Blades. Remember the name blue Star,
a precision product by ASR. You'll agree blue Star wins
on face value.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
So five team more.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
For reasonably base noises. And now we open our spells
and scrap book and centers of the stories on doctors
and hospitals, Chapter thirty four, The ambulance drivers. But the
(08:21):
love lock. The phone is ringing, so I R. I
think I thought it worse. Wispell ringer? Your son, mister
lock Lock, you better answer that phone if you want
to keep your job. I don't go. If I poot
my dobb and rock you on the phone, I took away.
(08:42):
I took my double rock kick people, nothing but kick
people room. Everybody in the place. You sick, Everyboddy sick.
Speaker 8 (08:51):
Even the windows have pains. Oh answers hell.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
General hospitals fiber up from speaking only for an accident.
Speaker 8 (09:08):
Okay, I don't tell you, He'll say, I turn carry away.
I keep mike dropping up.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You ring for an accident? Huh sounds pretty serious. I
can like that. Somebody walking in front of a car
must have banded out of towner and later would have
scaled the carve for him. Everybody hurts own the driver,
he missed him, and why they're calling us? Well? The
(09:39):
possessor then laughed so hard that he benned over too
far so red and broke his neck. And hell, whens
happened two hours ago? Look, white guy called me stop
list wood? He take us that role with rick care? Why,
I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why? Well take
(10:00):
it that wrong? You get there because we have a
new ambulance and they haven't delivered the wheels there all,
let's go pick them up now, because you're gonna be
the slower, tambling driver in this country. Let's go. We'll
let's pick up this guy. You go wi, yes, No,
(10:25):
we are. You're really gonna drive? Are you? And why not?
So every time you drive we look in worse shape
than the people we pick up. The next time when
I drive, we don't have to go so far in
the accident. Let's go about a handle a hey, take
(10:51):
it easy going around the curves. Look, if you are scared,
you while I do, close your eyes nothing to worry
about as long as one wheel is on the ground. Yeah, yeah,
but the only one touching is it's fair. Yes, where
we got it? I don't know the things go? What
(11:14):
kind of a life you bleedd? I mean, uh, where's U?
Where the car comes upt? No, lit'sten gladdress was at ort,
double ort ort nothing I said for nothing. Three Well,
(11:36):
I know a haircut. That's it.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
I know it's what cut.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I s be here out and I was up this
road here and through that store. Listen, I don't sing.
I know what I'm saying. Oh, well, I'm lucky. We
we would have to wait for the ambulance after thirty
(12:13):
five the society doctor or killed there was here. There
was a morning doctor your la, yes downey three o'clock. Yes,
the champame was three week last night. Then like water back,
it wasn't water get reports.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
So she was a John Marry took her lost sometime
treatments and she's down as abelly.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Good. No, we'll get her back. Sender your bills. She'll
turn white as your sheep house.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
And here's a check for HT treatment.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Oh fifty thousand dollars for a little checkout.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Did you take his talk?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
No, is it missus? Oh?
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Well, what you call me?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
The Cadillac people and ordered me a new convertible wheel,
but you have one downstairs. Noll Oh no, but it's
hitting in the room direction. Not only that the last phraser.
Then whoever's in the office, then will.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
You, I said, Ronning said the doctor was. There's hotel
seventy five dollars that just came in. I know we
have a settle jog.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I'm very patient, yet, oh how are you? A man
wants seems to be the trouble speak out, my good man,
speak up? He got fod man, speak up, speak up,
speak up, speak up, speak up. I would give me
a chance. Where it is the needle stuff? Well, doctor,
I have been having a little trouble in my ear.
Oh outside of the factor. Both on the same side
(13:47):
of your head. I don't see anything wrong with us.
Our plays for doctor ram Thompson. Then he's got doc
meditations diagnosed. What he's the guy to tell you what's
wrong with you? Yes, sir, examine this man, Well, guy,
(14:08):
what's wrong with me? It's my ears? All right? Step
in here and remove your clothing. Please, we only step
in here and remove your clothing. And little out of here.
I just step right in here. It'll only take a second,
(14:32):
now you see, it only took a second here seventy
five dollars. What did you find out? They're bad? Here?
That here? I've been a sent for doctor Emmimon. Hey, yeah,
uh no you he was with me tonight. I saw
(15:01):
that English movie. I gotta I gotta a pattern for you,
a tation for you. That's wrong with your ears? Yeah? Sure,
you're an ear specialist and that up there. Wait a minute,
(15:22):
looking the wrong one. It's the right ear. No, well,
in that case, I catch what if you tell you?
You see, I'm at wait. I'll get the doctor Bencott.
He's the right ear specialist. Never mind, you're making my
blood boil. That will be twenty five dollars for sterilizing
(15:44):
your system. Maybe I could help you? What is wrong
with your ears? I keep hearing things. You keep hearing things.
They're like people's voices. Why, yes, yes, that is change.
(16:05):
Do you hear bells? Yes? Yes, I didn't have bells?
Do you hear that? Because of the ring?
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Room is?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Can you kill me? Doctor shure? There's five of the
people your supper will the older What are they tell
no shotgun, They rolls the office of an old favorite always.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And the.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Why pay more bull way to be when you face
go know you do Red right Jr. Why pay more
for razor blades when your face won't know you did.
No razor blades at any price are sharper than blue
star blades, And no razor blades at any price give
(19:28):
you quicker, smoother shades. That's because blue Star blades are
made of the finest blue steal. Like high price blades,
they're ground and honed in oil. And yet blue Star blades,
either single or double edge, costs you only ten cents
in the regular package, and you save even more money
when you buy the large economy size to censor. No man.
(19:51):
Remember for the quickest, smoothest, both economical shades you can get,
get blue Star blades. Is why pay more for razor
blades when your face won't know you did? Speak ups,
tell your body you get blue star blades. The night
(20:16):
Our Skelton scrap Book at Satire presents the story entitled
The Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing but the Tooth.
Chapter one two is entitled g I Dentists Before a
man separated from the Army he must go through a
complete physical checkup. This includes the visit to the dentist.
(20:38):
This is the story of califormic ID. You knew where
(20:58):
you at. Start talk and I'll find you where. You're
late again, mcfug What I said?
Speaker 8 (21:08):
You're late again?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Well it's not it's not my fault. They didn't open
the guard house until yet. Now it stands back and
flamingos are flying. Thank goodness. This is your last day
of the army going back to school? No, I think
I will yet, guy would like to thin kindyguard. You
knew a tht. You said you had a scholar You
(21:32):
got the friends and coming. I thought you said you
had a scholarship to Harvard Medical School. Yeah, but they
they don't want me while I'm alive. Well, there's just
(21:54):
one more thing you have to do before you become
a civilian. House out it They just up and the
parts of the dentis always ordering me around. You know
the first thing I'm gonna do when I get out
of the army. No I can't. Why do you might
(22:15):
get dog there? Look when you take the slip and
get over to the dentist office before I beat your
brains out. You're gonna beat my brain down. Oh you boy,
are you going and hit me? Try and knock me? Keilly,
you're awaiting your time. You want to beat it over there?
(22:38):
Now watch that back, dog. Don't forget that I have
bars on my shoulders. Yeah, I think you have to
have more on your window to crack like that. And
I'll have you transferred to pass the data that. Okay,
I'll get over Vogan, I'll get over to it again.
It's off like your army.
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Now you're not behind the clown. You'll never get riched
and none in your nur.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Then you hear well, here's the dental clinic, and that
what be the place that got the going court mood
on the door?
Speaker 6 (23:17):
Well, soldier, what can I do for you?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I think you've already done it. I pay my plate
and the dinner dinner there? Uh I'm supposed to see
uh uh a doctor Hoist pin the mind? But name
(23:45):
of Hoist?
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Or what's your name?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Well? And my name is galbarmic punk.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
The sell number cream of wheat? What uh mother's name?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Mother?
Speaker 6 (24:12):
What's uh father's name?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I'm sorry you're minking him? You do? He died when
he would dick your dol How could he do?
Speaker 6 (24:26):
Your father was only six years old.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
He left a complete book of instructions with mother and
she said it to the letters. They would you do me?
(24:52):
If they were driving me nuts? Would you answer the phone? Clean? Y? Rank?
Speaker 6 (25:00):
My cant goll ranks when.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
You're not going hot to tell when you're pointing him?
I'm a private first plant.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
What brands of good on any tree?
Speaker 7 (25:21):
I can hang home?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I'm in fr art dolery. What do you do now?
I had a very important job, you know? Oh really?
Now every custin the gun is fired. I put my
finger in the captain gears. So how long have you
been in the curtain? Uh?
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Four years?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Sick months and ten tons of spams and taste that
paper down the hall in that night and a little
cap with a bell around the Uh yeah, call port Turns.
(26:04):
I see you later, Turns.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
I'm like you know what I mean? Now, Madame dail
for more arm and cures for me, Madame Mittell f.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Arm cus Act of good Woods. But get I wonder
which do I go in? Let me? I'll try that
winn Uh do you want gass? I know no. I
like to be like a combat man. You can lay
(26:36):
my people out anesthetic. Well boy, he for a years.
That went for the officers, litty, now you maybe get
you for the enlisted men. You know Dick's libels to
(27:04):
replate the firing squad. I'm getting out of here, boy,
I'm getting along the second private while you're the private.
Are you here to have your teeth air friends? Yet?
I'm getting out though. Well, just step in here, get
in that chair.
Speaker 8 (27:22):
Oh this bike up business, every pair?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
This man for the examination? Every okay, go.
Speaker 7 (27:33):
Ahead, it's a bearing me pretty examinaked.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
We all got to go to the lady wellness out well.
Speaker 6 (27:42):
This real money that's in the two boys.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Oh yes, yes, this doesn't look fair. Take your head
out of my mouth. Well, I guess i'd better pull
it here. I'll give you this tablet. It's a pain killer.
The pink killing are you joint will kill the plane?
This will kill anything. It's still arthnic an artnic boy, Yes,
(28:11):
in a way, ninety nine or nine tenths of the
human race is allergic to it. But you may be
the one tenth of one percent of arthnic won out here.
Work back. Ain't no gamble at all. Just hold your
mouth open for one second. Yeah, I don't my mouth,
(28:32):
but don't hurt any more. Mean there did that hurt?
You know? But I could have saved you a lot
of time. But gets handing them to you? Why wear
four you've been listening to about that cotton show presented
(29:01):
by the makers of Blue Star razor blades. No razor
blades are shopper. No razor blades give you quicker, smoother
shades than Blue Star blades. So next time, ask for
a Blue Star, a precision product by as R, and
you'll agree. I've signed them Marble staving and blue Starget
(29:24):
mimis avide the marble reasonably when you're baseball, know your need,
Thanks for letting it come into your home, and we'll
be with you again next week. And this is Red
Skelton saying it's fine now, thanks for listening, and don't
forget blue Star blade John to again next week. Let's
(29:51):
coble show, Let's stop present the programs. What's my pier?
This is a copulator picture that's far from Hollywood
Mis Christmas with all the mant please your faith with
Blue Star blades. Friends, No razor blades are sharper than
blue Star blades, so why pay more with too blue
Star and get the quickest, modest shaves you ever had.
You'll agree, Blue Star blades win on face value. Five
(00:22):
day more for razor blades when you're made for noises
and now friends. Five from Hollywood, the American Safty Raising Corporation,
makers of Blue Star Razor blades, present The Red Skelton
Show with Rest Skelton. David rolls his office to Marine Dono,
(00:53):
Patrighi and Zick Ryan and the Swiss twins will be
me Rodoc now the s program. Red Skelton, Thank you,
(01:23):
good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Hi you Ron fellow rats,
I hear you were a big success at the dinner
the other night. Oh a lot of big stars there.
Oh yes. The autograph collectors had a cute gag. They
asked the stars the autograph full pages you see, and
dick players they asked to sign just half pages. Why
are you so disappointed? You ever try to sign a
(01:44):
spit ball? You know? There were there were a lot
of Autoba speakers outside the state door to night. As
I came in and someone yelled Red Skelton's in the crowd.
Walls turned around and looked at me school, so.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I was.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I know. One guy ran up with the then stuck
at my arm. He says, we'll just find this and Bud, buddy,
do you read it? Yeah, but I didn't notice the
rain with the run usual of course, driving to work
(02:24):
to night, I broke one of my oars. They write
me during the rainy days and then when the sun
comes out, everybody forgets. This year there not monny. Weather
sure has been rugged out here lately. First we have
rain and then it freezes. What do you think is
(02:44):
the cause of it? I think the Chamber of Commerce
has overdone it. They tell the rest of the country
what wonderful weather we have here in California. They've got
him convinced. It's so wonderful that even the Eastern weather
is moving out here. Hey, you know the song that
says e you know the song California where out from? Brother?
(03:07):
When you're saying, now they good news something? You know?
The guys setting in a bar out of the valley
and he says to the other guy's well, here's much.
You know, I just theb where came in. Tell me
right aws here in new electric blanket, working out of
these freezing nights. Oh fine, it keeps me as warm
(03:28):
as toast. The course. When it's time to wake up,
it topped me right out of there. Last night it
was really cold, gold. I caught it trying to crawl
under me. You know, last night it was so cold
that my pillow and my sheet ought to see you
(03:49):
would get under the blanket. Further, it was so cold
last night my my shorts was wearing my long underwear
eighty change. It does get you know, rot, I'm not freezing,
you're not new. Well if you should be a good year.
But I'm really worried about it being leap heer. Oh
(04:11):
but them pretty girl starts making advances. This lad should
have a man. The man thought with a sixty.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Year old boy.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
The Smithlan's not a thing of grand central.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Stateful polyicle go, I have holip living room.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
A as we're come, it's just my grandsons the station
where you call. It's just my grandsons the station. But
why all the fust my father, my brother, my little
(05:21):
sistrictions coming and going and going and coming stay and
see it's such a sad situation. More loveful bout that
where the heir congregation?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
How can we make us?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
We gotta get sided.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Now let's go to grandson the station away.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Before the pack.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
It's just like Grandson's station when you call me.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's just my grandsons the station.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
They will pay.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
See my young brother willingness.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Let's take you by the wing a little and now's
the dollar.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Everything that they're all a face, that is something that
they're all of this they're darling.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
Any wanting If we're not, I.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Want you.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You for crying not let's tell you grand and the
same and away from my mother's to mother, my sister,
my brother, let's talk to grandmand sat away.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Something lets face. I'm going to start the characters as own,
ground and honed in oil, made of the finest blue steel,
blue star blades, keen and sharp as blades can be. Yes,
(07:13):
then no razor blades are sharper than blue stars. No
blades give you quicker slickers, smoother shades, time and time again.
And it's all because, like the highest price blades, blue
star blades are ground and honed in oil, and they're
made of the finest blue steal yet Blue Star Blades
are economical as the regular package of single or double
(07:36):
edge ten cents, and the large economy size dispenses save
you even frive Blue Star Blades. Remember the name blue Star,
a precision product by ASR. You'll agree blue Star wins
on face value.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
So five team more.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
For reasonably base noises. And now we open our spells
and scrap book and centers of the stories on doctors
and hospitals, Chapter thirty four, The ambulance drivers. But the
(08:21):
love lock. The phone is ringing, so I R. I
think I thought it worse. Wispell ringer? Your son, mister
lock Lock, you better answer that phone if you want
to keep your job. I don't go. If I poot
my dobb and rock you on the phone, I took away.
(08:42):
I took my double rock kick people, nothing but kick
people room. Everybody in the place. You sick, Everyboddy sick.
Speaker 8 (08:51):
Even the windows have pains. Oh answers hell.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
General hospitals fiber up from speaking only for an accident.
Speaker 8 (09:08):
Okay, I don't tell you, He'll say, I turn carry away.
I keep mike dropping up.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You ring for an accident? Huh sounds pretty serious. I
can like that. Somebody walking in front of a car
must have banded out of towner and later would have
scaled the carve for him. Everybody hurts own the driver,
he missed him, and why they're calling us? Well? The
(09:39):
possessor then laughed so hard that he benned over too
far so red and broke his neck. And hell, whens
happened two hours ago? Look, white guy called me stop
list wood? He take us that role with rick care? Why,
I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why? Well take
(10:00):
it that wrong? You get there because we have a
new ambulance and they haven't delivered the wheels there all,
let's go pick them up now, because you're gonna be
the slower, tambling driver in this country. Let's go. We'll
let's pick up this guy. You go wi, yes, No,
(10:25):
we are. You're really gonna drive? Are you? And why not?
So every time you drive we look in worse shape
than the people we pick up. The next time when
I drive, we don't have to go so far in
the accident. Let's go about a handle a hey, take
(10:51):
it easy going around the curves. Look, if you are scared,
you while I do, close your eyes nothing to worry
about as long as one wheel is on the ground. Yeah, yeah,
but the only one touching is it's fair. Yes, where
we got it? I don't know the things go? What
(11:14):
kind of a life you bleedd? I mean, uh, where's U?
Where the car comes upt? No, lit'sten gladdress was at ort,
double ort ort nothing I said for nothing. Three Well,
(11:36):
I know a haircut. That's it.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
I know it's what cut.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I s be here out and I was up this
road here and through that store. Listen, I don't sing.
I know what I'm saying. Oh, well, I'm lucky. We
we would have to wait for the ambulance after thirty
(12:13):
five the society doctor or killed there was here. There
was a morning doctor your la, yes downey three o'clock. Yes,
the champame was three week last night. Then like water back,
it wasn't water get reports.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
So she was a John Marry took her lost sometime
treatments and she's down as abelly.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Good. No, we'll get her back. Sender your bills. She'll
turn white as your sheep house.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
And here's a check for HT treatment.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Oh fifty thousand dollars for a little checkout.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Did you take his talk?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
No, is it missus? Oh?
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Well, what you call me?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
The Cadillac people and ordered me a new convertible wheel,
but you have one downstairs. Noll Oh no, but it's
hitting in the room direction. Not only that the last phraser.
Then whoever's in the office, then will.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
You, I said, Ronning said the doctor was. There's hotel
seventy five dollars that just came in. I know we
have a settle jog.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I'm very patient, yet, oh how are you? A man
wants seems to be the trouble speak out, my good man,
speak up? He got fod man, speak up, speak up,
speak up, speak up, speak up. I would give me
a chance. Where it is the needle stuff? Well, doctor,
I have been having a little trouble in my ear.
Oh outside of the factor. Both on the same side
(13:47):
of your head. I don't see anything wrong with us.
Our plays for doctor ram Thompson. Then he's got doc
meditations diagnosed. What he's the guy to tell you what's
wrong with you? Yes, sir, examine this man, Well, guy,
(14:08):
what's wrong with me? It's my ears? All right? Step
in here and remove your clothing. Please, we only step
in here and remove your clothing. And little out of here.
I just step right in here. It'll only take a second,
(14:32):
now you see, it only took a second here seventy
five dollars. What did you find out? They're bad? Here?
That here? I've been a sent for doctor Emmimon. Hey, yeah,
uh no you he was with me tonight. I saw
(15:01):
that English movie. I gotta I gotta a pattern for you,
a tation for you. That's wrong with your ears? Yeah? Sure,
you're an ear specialist and that up there. Wait a minute,
(15:22):
looking the wrong one. It's the right ear. No, well,
in that case, I catch what if you tell you?
You see, I'm at wait. I'll get the doctor Bencott.
He's the right ear specialist. Never mind, you're making my
blood boil. That will be twenty five dollars for sterilizing
(15:44):
your system. Maybe I could help you? What is wrong
with your ears? I keep hearing things. You keep hearing things.
They're like people's voices. Why, yes, yes, that is change.
(16:05):
Do you hear bells? Yes? Yes, I didn't have bells?
Do you hear that? Because of the ring?
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Room is?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Can you kill me? Doctor shure? There's five of the
people your supper will the older What are they tell
no shotgun, They rolls the office of an old favorite always.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And the.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Why pay more bull way to be when you face
go know you do Red right Jr. Why pay more
for razor blades when your face won't know you did.
No razor blades at any price are sharper than blue
star blades, And no razor blades at any price give
(19:28):
you quicker, smoother shades. That's because blue Star blades are
made of the finest blue steal. Like high price blades,
they're ground and honed in oil. And yet blue Star blades,
either single or double edge, costs you only ten cents
in the regular package, and you save even more money
when you buy the large economy size to censor. No man.
(19:51):
Remember for the quickest, smoothest, both economical shades you can get,
get blue Star blades. Is why pay more for razor
blades when your face won't know you did? Speak ups,
tell your body you get blue star blades. The night
(20:16):
Our Skelton scrap Book at Satire presents the story entitled
The Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing but the Tooth.
Chapter one two is entitled g I Dentists Before a
man separated from the Army he must go through a
complete physical checkup. This includes the visit to the dentist.
(20:38):
This is the story of califormic ID. You knew where
(20:58):
you at. Start talk and I'll find you where. You're
late again, mcfug What I said?
Speaker 8 (21:08):
You're late again?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Well it's not it's not my fault. They didn't open
the guard house until yet. Now it stands back and
flamingos are flying. Thank goodness. This is your last day
of the army going back to school? No, I think
I will yet, guy would like to thin kindyguard. You
knew a tht. You said you had a scholar You
(21:32):
got the friends and coming. I thought you said you
had a scholarship to Harvard Medical School. Yeah, but they
they don't want me while I'm alive. Well, there's just
(21:54):
one more thing you have to do before you become
a civilian. House out it They just up and the
parts of the dentis always ordering me around. You know
the first thing I'm gonna do when I get out
of the army. No I can't. Why do you might
(22:15):
get dog there? Look when you take the slip and
get over to the dentist office before I beat your
brains out. You're gonna beat my brain down. Oh you boy,
are you going and hit me? Try and knock me? Keilly,
you're awaiting your time. You want to beat it over there?
(22:38):
Now watch that back, dog. Don't forget that I have
bars on my shoulders. Yeah, I think you have to
have more on your window to crack like that. And
I'll have you transferred to pass the data that. Okay,
I'll get over Vogan, I'll get over to it again.
It's off like your army.
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Now you're not behind the clown. You'll never get riched
and none in your nur.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Then you hear well, here's the dental clinic, and that
what be the place that got the going court mood
on the door?
Speaker 6 (23:17):
Well, soldier, what can I do for you?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I think you've already done it. I pay my plate
and the dinner dinner there? Uh I'm supposed to see
uh uh a doctor Hoist pin the mind? But name
(23:45):
of Hoist?
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Or what's your name?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Well? And my name is galbarmic punk.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
The sell number cream of wheat? What uh mother's name?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Mother?
Speaker 6 (24:12):
What's uh father's name?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I'm sorry you're minking him? You do? He died when
he would dick your dol How could he do?
Speaker 6 (24:26):
Your father was only six years old.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
He left a complete book of instructions with mother and
she said it to the letters. They would you do me?
(24:52):
If they were driving me nuts? Would you answer the phone? Clean? Y? Rank?
Speaker 6 (25:00):
My cant goll ranks when.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
You're not going hot to tell when you're pointing him?
I'm a private first plant.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
What brands of good on any tree?
Speaker 7 (25:21):
I can hang home?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I'm in fr art dolery. What do you do now?
I had a very important job, you know? Oh really?
Now every custin the gun is fired. I put my
finger in the captain gears. So how long have you
been in the curtain? Uh?
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Four years?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Sick months and ten tons of spams and taste that
paper down the hall in that night and a little
cap with a bell around the Uh yeah, call port Turns.
(26:04):
I see you later, Turns.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
I'm like you know what I mean? Now, Madame dail
for more arm and cures for me, Madame Mittell f.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Arm cus Act of good Woods. But get I wonder
which do I go in? Let me? I'll try that
winn Uh do you want gass? I know no. I
like to be like a combat man. You can lay
(26:36):
my people out anesthetic. Well boy, he for a years.
That went for the officers, litty, now you maybe get
you for the enlisted men. You know Dick's libels to
(27:04):
replate the firing squad. I'm getting out of here, boy,
I'm getting along the second private while you're the private.
Are you here to have your teeth air friends? Yet?
I'm getting out though. Well, just step in here, get
in that chair.
Speaker 8 (27:22):
Oh this bike up business, every pair?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
This man for the examination? Every okay, go.
Speaker 7 (27:33):
Ahead, it's a bearing me pretty examinaked.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
We all got to go to the lady wellness out well.
Speaker 6 (27:42):
This real money that's in the two boys.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Oh yes, yes, this doesn't look fair. Take your head
out of my mouth. Well, I guess i'd better pull
it here. I'll give you this tablet. It's a pain killer.
The pink killing are you joint will kill the plane?
This will kill anything. It's still arthnic an artnic boy, Yes,
(28:11):
in a way, ninety nine or nine tenths of the
human race is allergic to it. But you may be
the one tenth of one percent of arthnic won out here.
Work back. Ain't no gamble at all. Just hold your
mouth open for one second. Yeah, I don't my mouth,
(28:32):
but don't hurt any more. Mean there did that hurt?
You know? But I could have saved you a lot
of time. But gets handing them to you? Why wear
four you've been listening to about that cotton show presented
(29:01):
by the makers of Blue Star razor blades. No razor
blades are shopper. No razor blades give you quicker, smoother
shades than Blue Star blades. So next time, ask for
a Blue Star, a precision product by as R, and
you'll agree. I've signed them Marble staving and blue Starget
(29:24):
mimis avide the marble reasonably when you're baseball, know your need,
Thanks for letting it come into your home, and we'll
be with you again next week. And this is Red
Skelton saying it's fine now, thanks for listening, and don't
forget blue Star blade John to again next week. Let's
(29:51):
coble show, Let's stop present the programs. What's my pier?
This is a copulator picture that's far from Hollywood
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