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March 12, 2025 17 mins

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In Hope Beyond the Walls, we dive deep into the hard stuff—trauma, fear, and pain—but we don’t stop there. This podcast is for those who refuse to let suffering have the final say. Through powerful stories, biblical truth, and practical steps, we uncover how hope becomes the bridge from pain to purpose. No matter how long you've felt stuck, God is not finished with you. Keep walking, keep believing, and keep fighting—because we are not victims. We are Courageous Overcomers.

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Episode Transcript

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Tonya Shellnutt (00:11):
Welcome to Courageous Overcomers.
Stories of Hope and Healing.
I'm your host, Tonya Shellnutt.
Here we talk about the hardstuff trauma, fear and pain.
But we don't stop there because, let's be honest, so many of us
hide from our pain because it'sjust too hard to face.
But here's the truth, andnothing but the truth.

(00:32):
We can't heal what we're notwilling to face.
I hope that you guys were ableto listen to last week's episode
with Janita.
It was so encouraging.
She talked about some suicideattempts, depression and anxiety
, and the reality is is that youknow it's okay to go through
hard times, but it's.
What do we do with it?

(00:53):
And so this week I want to talkabout hope, because hope is the
bridge that carries us frompain to purpose.
Have you ever felt stuck inyour suffering, questioning if
healing is even possible?
Then this episode is for you.
The Proverbs 13, 12 says this.

(01:15):
It's one of my favoriteProverbs.
It says hope deferred makes theheart sick, but a longing
fulfilled is a tree of life.
And a few weeks ago I had aguest on Dr Betsy Guerrera.
She wrote the book Hurt to Hope.
If you want a book about hope,you need to get this book.
Most of you know I'm an avidreader.

(01:35):
I love to read.
I love to read nonfiction,autobiographies, things of that
nature, and this book is so good.
You know those books that youjust go through and you
highlight everything.
This was one of them.
It's again, it's called Hurt toHope, but this is something
that she says and I have itunderlined in the book.
I'm going to read a couple ofthem today, and I love this.

(01:57):
It says pain is hope.
Suffering, however, is painwithout hope.
Being hopeless in our abilityto overcome the struggle keeps
us stuck in the pain, and I wantto talk about that because when
that proverb, hope deferredmakes the heart grow sick.
That's what this is going to beabout today.

(02:18):
And pain has a way of trappingus into isolation.
It makes us feel alone in oursuffering and unworthy of
healing or powerless to changeour circumstances.
And when we're stuck in ourpain, we just get in this
mindset that there's no wayforward and that the situation

(03:01):
is emptiness.
That's to.
Purpose is not automatic.
It requires us to do somethingto carry us through, and that is
the basis of today.
It's called hope.
Again, hope is the bridgebetween suffering and strength,
the force that tells us this isnot the end of our story.
It's what allows us to endure,to press forward and to believe

(03:26):
in our darkest moments that Godis still working.
So let's take a moment and lookat Joseph's story.
If you know anything about theBible, you know that Joseph was
betrayed by his own brothers,sold into slavery, wrongfully
imprisoned, accused of rape, andhis pain was real, I can't

(03:46):
imagine.
He was physically andemotionally isolated.
He was stripped of everythingfamiliar and forced into a life
that he did not choose.
And we all have been there incircumstances where situations
happened that were out of ourcontrol and Joseph could have
easily believed that hissuffering, he was forgotten by

(04:08):
God, unworthy of a future,powerless to change his
situation.
I think we can all relate tothat.
But what did Joseph choose to do?
He chose to hold on to hope,believe that God was still
working, even when he couldn'tsee it.
And hope kept him faithful inthe pit that he was in.

(04:29):
And he was patient when he wasin prison and he was ready for
his purpose in Pharaoh's palace.
And when the time came, we knowthat God elevated him from
slavery to the second command ofall of Egypt.
His suffering wasn't wasted,and this is something that I
struggled with for a long timebecause I, as many of you know,

(04:52):
question God like how could youallow this pain and suffering to
happen to somebody?
Why would you allow it?
And I was stuck there I reallywas because I thought how would
a loving God allow for all thissuffering?
And what Joseph's story remindsus of is that pain is never the
end of the story.

(05:13):
Do not ever forget that, andthat hope is the bridge that
leads us to God's greaterpurpose.
Leads us to God's greaterpurpose.
And for me, as I said, I canremember very clearly just
crying and being in a place offrustration with God, and I've
shared this story with youbefore.
But I can remember justquestioning God and questioning

(05:38):
God and Rich saying he didn'tsay it quite like this, but this
was basically what he said he'slike look, tonya, are you going
to sit here and live hell onearth, always questioning God,
or are you going to learn it,lean into the pain and do
something with it?
And that was easier said thandone and at the time it ticked
me off because I was like youdon't understand, I've been

(06:01):
through all these things andblah, blah, blah.
And at the end of the day,there was so much truth to what
Rich shared and I don't thinkI'll fully or you may never
fully understand our suffering.
But what I am choosing to do isto lean into that and use the

(06:24):
pain for good, because it putspurpose to the pain, it helps,
you know, us just be real, realabout what's happening in our
lives and making people feellike it's okay to know that you
know they've had pain, they'vehad suffering, and I think that
was really the whole basis of mestarting this podcast was

(06:46):
because so many people don'twant to face the pain they don't
want to face face the reality.
And we have to talk about thesehard things because, again, we
can't heal what we're notwilling to face.
And so, um, my turning point inall of the pain and getting out

(07:07):
of the victim mode and we'lltalk about that a later date but
was when I chose to believe Godwasn't finished with me, that
God had a purpose for me and,just like so many people in the
Bible, god has a purpose for usand he has a purpose for our
pain.
So let's talk a little bit aboutthe attributes of hope.
What does that look like?

(07:28):
So we know that hope is not theabsence of pain.
Again, hope is choosing tobelieve that pain does not get
the final.
Say Love that Hope is choosingto believe that pain doesn't get
the final say.
Hope is not a feeling, it's aweapon, and that is equally
great, right, it's a weapon totear down the discouragement or

(07:50):
the you know lies.
And such Hope tears down thewalls of fear and trauma and
doubt.
And again I've shared this andI hope you're hearing the theme
in this Hope is the bridge thatcarries us from pain to purpose.
So let's imagine we're standingon the side of a broken bridge,
looking at the other side ofwhere we want to be, and we know

(08:12):
we have to get to the otherside.
Every step forward is anintentional act of faith.
So you know the enemy wants totell you oh, you're not going to
make it over there, you'regoing to get stuck.
And God says nope, I have aplan for you.
Jeremiah 29, 11.
And so we have to do some thingsto be able to get to the other

(08:34):
side.
One of them is to clean out thelimiting beliefs.
Stop feeding yourself the storythat says nothing will change.
You've got to speak life overyourself, and this is another
one of those quotes that I wantto read you out of Dr Guerrero's
book.
It says this is about positiveself-talk.
We're talking about speakinglife over our situation, getting
rid of those limiting beliefs.

(08:56):
And it says this when we'regoing through difficult times,
it is particularly easy to fallinto the habit of negative
self-talk.
I do that all the time.
If something happens with thekids, I'm like, oh, it's my
fault, I should have done thisor I should have done that,
anything like that.
She goes on to say I'm such aloser.
It is impossible to overcomethis.

(09:18):
I have nothing left to give.
I'm horrible at this.
I can't why work so hard sewing.
If the chance to reap can betaken away, I'll be alone
forever.
No one loves me, my life isover.
I'll never be happy again.
And she goes on to say this wewould never speak to someone.
We love the way we often talkto ourselves.

(09:38):
It's important to catch ournegative statements and reframe
those.
Earlier in our episodes wetalked about reframing those
negative talks, negative talk toourselves.
You can go back and listen tothem.
But to what Betsy was saying isthat we've got to try as much

(09:59):
as we can to get rid of thatnegative self-talk.
I know that's easier said thandone, because I do it too all
the time, and I have to be ableto speak life.
And so here's a couple thingsPsalm 147, I'm healing because
God is my healer.
Psalm 3417, I'm breakingthrough because God is my

(10:22):
deliverer.
God is leading me toward mypurpose and I won't quit.
And so we have to take actionthat aligns with the future that
we want, not the past thathurts you.
Oh, that right there.
Let me just say that again andlet's think on that for a minute
.
We need to take action thataligns with the future we want,

(10:47):
not the past that hurt you.
And that is so hard becausemany of us live in those areas
of what we think is familiarityand comfort, and so it's very
hard Sometimes we're in themiddle of it to even know what
future we want.
But I think we can all agreethat having peace and in the

(11:12):
storm is oftentimes all thatwe're looking for.
And so a couple other thingsthat we can work on as we're
trying to lean into hope, as wehave talked about in this
podcast many times, about theemotional walls that we build up
.
What is a wall that you'reusing that's blocking you?

(11:32):
What's the lie that's keepingyou trapped, such as I'm too
broken, or I can never heal, orI'm never going to break free
from this addiction, or I'vetried too many times and failed,
I'm too far gone.
God won't forgive me.
I think, just being reallytransparent with you guys, one
of the ones that I struggle within particular is especially

(11:55):
with my kids.
I frequently feel like, well, Ishould have done this
differently, or I should havedone that differently.
I mean, you know, our families,both Rich and I, have a lot of
addiction in our family, and soI worry so much about my kids
and you know what's going tohappen to them.

(12:15):
Are they going to, you know,fall into the same patterns?
And then I, you know, seethings.
And then I'm like, oh, I shouldhave done this or should have
done that.
And I'm frequently tellingmyself I'm a bad mom, and that's
hard right.
I mean, even right now I'mgetting emotional about it
because I know I'm not a bad mom, but sometimes I wear that lie

(12:39):
that the enemy tells me that Iam, and so I have to lean into
it and go OK, you know what Godsays train them up, do the best
that you can show them the wayof the Lord, and what they
choose to do is their choice.
But Satan is over here saying,yeah, you're a loser, you should
have done this, you should havedone that.

(13:00):
And so I just share that withyou again, just to be honest and
transparent, but because, also,I want you to know that it
we're just having real life.
Talk here like this is hardstuff, some of the things that
we go through, and so what do Ido with that?
I certainly can't stay in thatand I have to remind myself.
You know what.

(13:21):
There you are just God'sbabysitter for these kids.
They're gods, and all I can dois pray for them and reframe my
thinking and how I look at itand what I'm doing with it,
instead of getting sucked intothat you're a loser mom message.
That can happen and so I haveto do the things that that fear

(13:45):
tells me not to do.
Things that fear tells me not todo.
Fear tells me to continue thecycle of trying to be
overprotective or trying tocontrol outcomes, particularly
with the kids, and that's notgiving God the opportunity to
take care of it.
It's me trying to take control,and so I have to believe that

(14:07):
hope is, and lean into hope andknow that that's what's going to
build the bridges, that's goingto be the thing that tears down
the walls.
But I have to choose which wayI'm going to go with that.
And so, if your heart has beensick like mine from deferred
hope, hear me out.

(14:28):
God has not forgotten you and,just like we heard last week
from Janita, we can still leaninto the pain and keep walking
and keep believing and keepfighting, because that's what
God would want us to do andthere's power in that and
there's strength in that.

(14:48):
And even if you live a life offaith and say you're, you know,
serving in the ministry orwhatever it is you're doing,
it's okay to have thesestruggles and you don't have to
be superwoman.
I think sometimes we, as women,feel like we can't have any
pain or we can't, you know, bevulnerable.

(15:09):
And again, that's anotherreason for this podcast is just
to be completely transparent andreal about the things that
we're going through in life andknowing that there's hope on the
other side.
And that's why I showcase allof these people, because I want
you to know that everyone hasstruggles, everyone goes through
something, but they're choosingto lean into hope and lean into

(15:32):
their faith to have a differentoutcome, and so I want to
remind you that your paindoesn't get to have the final
say.
Hear me out on that one moretime your pain does not get to
have the final say.
So I want you to share thisepisode with someone who needs
to be reminded that we're notvictims.

(15:52):
We're courageous overcomers,and I also want to encourage you
to visit our website attonyashellnuttcom.
Go ahead and look through it.
Send me an email, share with meanybody that you think would be
a good guest for this podcastwho has gone through some
overcoming.
Meet anybody that you thinkwould be a good guest for this
podcast who has gone throughsome overcoming.
And, most importantly, don'tforget to go.

(16:12):
Leave us a five star review,and I really hope and pray that
I've encouraged you today tohave hope, to lean into it and
remember a heart with hopedeferred makes the heart grow
sick.

(16:32):
Thank you for joining us here on Courageous Overcomers with
Tonya Shellnutt.
Please remember to follow, likeand share this podcast.
To find out more about Tonya,go to her website at
tonyashellnutt.
com, or to ask a question aboutanything you've heard on today's
show.
Leave us a five-star review andyour message or email at tonya
at tonyashellnutt.
com.
Remember that'sS-H-E-L-L-N-U-T-T.

(16:53):
This podcast is produced by BobSlone Audio Productions.
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