February 12, 2025 • 27 mins
This week on Courageous Overcomers, Tonya dives into the vital role of faith in overcoming addiction, abuse, and trauma. In recent episodes, she has explored resilience and shared the powerful stories of overcomers—each of them bound by one common thread: faith.
Tonya introduces another brick-breaking tool in the healing journey: faith. She has often discussed emotional walls—how people build them for protection but end up keeping out the good while allowing the bad to remain. While courage and resilience help break down these walls, faith is the key that truly unlocks healing.
In this episode, Tonya shares her own journey—how she went from knowing nothing about God to experiencing a radical transformation that changed her life. From a painful past marked by addiction, loss, and trauma, she stepped into a faith that not only sustained her but set her free.
For those who feel lost, are struggling to heal, or are hesitant to surrender their lives to God, Tonya offers a heartfelt message: Today is the day. Having tried everything the world offers, she knows firsthand that nothing compares to the peace and purpose found in Jesus.
And for those already walking with the Lord, Tonya encourages them to keep loving others and continue inviting people in. A single act of kindness—whether an invitation to church or even something as simple as a plate of cookies—can change someone’s life forever.
💡 Takeaways from this episode:
✔️ Faith is essential to healing—without it, people remain stuck.
✔️ Community plays a crucial role in spiritual growth—small acts of kindness make a big impact.
✔️ If faith has become stagnant, it’s time to dive back in.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tonya Shellnutt (00:06):
Welcome to Courageous Overcomers stories of
hope and healing.
I'm your host, Tonya Shellnutt.
Here on Courageous Overcomers,we talk about the hard stuff
addiction, trauma, fear, painand overcoming.
Let's be honest, so many of ushide from our pain because it's
just so hard to face.
(00:26):
But here's the truth we can'theal what we're not willing to
face.
This week, we're going to talkabout the spiritual strength and
overcoming, and I want to talkabout the vital role that faith
plays in recovery from ouraddictions, abuse and or trauma.
My kids told me this week I waslike have you guys listened to
(00:48):
my podcast in a while?
And they're like no, it's sohard, it's sad I can't listen to
it.
That was what one of them said.
And then the other one saidwell, you sound so scripted, you
just need to act like you'retalking to an audience in person
.
And the reality is is it's notas easy as you would think to be
able to do a podcast whenyou're used to speaking in front
(01:11):
of people.
So I'm going to try really hardthis week not to sound scripted
.
But the reality is is thatwe're all on this journey
together and it's something thatI feel like the Lord has put on
my heart to share with you guysand to just talk about the pain
and the hard times that we gothrough.
So if I have a script and Isound scripted, I'm going to get
(01:33):
there.
I'm only like on episode 13,for crying out loud, we're going
to get there and y'all aregoing to get there with me.
So this week I want to talk toyou about my faith journey.
I think that the reality is isover the last couple of weeks,
we heard from Betsy and we heardfrom Candy, and I think if you
(01:53):
haven't heard those podcasts,you have to go back and listen
to them because they're so good.
But the common thread withthose two and, honestly, the
things that I've shared with youis just all about faith.
It's their faith that keepsthem going.
And you know when we talkedfrom the very beginning of this
podcast about how, when we'rewounded, we build emotional
(02:16):
walls, and we know that when webuild those emotional walls, we
keep good things out and weoften let the bad things stay
inside, and so we have to knockdown those emotional walls brick
by brick, and each brickrepresents a wound that we have
to break down.
So so far, we know that we needcourage and resilience to break
(02:40):
down those bricks and we talkedabout that early on in some of
our episodes.
And the next tool in breakingdown those bricks is faith, and
faith is truly the key.
So I didn't grow up churched.
I grew up in Montana andthere's more bars than there are
(03:02):
churches.
On occasion I would go with myaunt to Christmas or Easter
services, but I didn't knowanything about God or Jesus, and
it wasn't until after thesuicide of that old boyfriend
that I shared with you guysabout I think in the very first
(03:22):
episode that I was introduced toChrist and I had a lady who
worked next door to my office inBellevue, washington, and she
really took me under her wingafter that loss and I would go
with her and her family on theweekends to a cabin at the lake
and it was about an hour and ahalf drive to their cabin and we
(03:42):
would listen to Sandy Patty thewhole way there.
And if you don't know who SandyPatty is, she is a gospel
singer.
I'm not going to lie.
I was like this music is soarchaic and boring, but I heard
a message in her music at thetime and so it actually prompted
(04:04):
me to ask a lot of questionsand, again, I still didn't know
Jesus in a personal way.
But she invited me to go tochurch with her one day in
Redmond Washington, one Sunday,and I went and I don't recall
what the sermon was about.
I just know that the pastorgave—and I don't even know what
denomination it was.
I honestly don't remember.
(04:24):
But I know that the pastor gavean and I don't even know what
denomination it was.
I honestly don't remember.
But I know that the pastor gavean altar call and I went
forward and my friend her namewas Judy she gave me my first
Bible and I wish I could say atthat moment, going forward, I
knew what that meant, but I hadno idea and I did not live a
changed life.
(04:44):
I just went back to drinkingand partying and I let that
Bible collect some dust.
So fast forward a couple yearsand Rich, my husband of 30 years
, almost enters the picture andhe had recently moved to Montana
fresh out of the Navy, and hehappened to be my cousin's
(05:07):
boyfriend's roommate, and so youcan go back and listen to the
episode where I share a littlebit about Rich and how we met.
But Rich, basically when wefirst met, he began to question
my drinking, and so that's whenI ended up going to treatment,
(05:27):
and in treatment we focused alot on the 12-step program and
if you know anything about the12-step program, it does focus
on God and faith.
And so the seeds were plantedand I began to learn a little
bit more.
And then, you know, we gotmarried, we had our first
daughter and we went to church afew times with some friends,
(05:50):
but nothing consistent.
And then on August 23, 1997,that was the dreadful day that
my mom suddenly died in amotorcycle accident and our
stuff was actually getting puton the moving van to move to
Charlotte, North Carolina, 2,000miles away from my family.
(06:11):
The day that happened andeverything changed for me.
That day.
Everything and I think lossdoes that to you Like Candy and
Betsy shared after losing theirloved ones.
It changes you in the deepestway, and my mom was 100% my best
friend and I loved her so much,and so losing her so suddenly
(06:35):
and like we talked about lastweek, with Candy not being able
to say goodbye, it was just someof the worst pain that I've
ever endured.
I can't even explain it, anduntil you lose a loved one you
may not understand that pain.
But here I was, you know, newlysober, a new mom, a new wife,
(06:57):
and my best friend was gone whenI lived in Washington, well, up
until my mom's death, honestly,we would talk every single day,
and so it was a gut check.
And I can remember we weredriving through the switchbacks
of Durango, Colorado, in thislittle turquoise, green Geo
Metro with Rich and I and ourlittle girl on our way to North
(07:21):
Carolina, and Rich was actuallygoing to work for his brothers.
And I remember telling Richwe're not going to North
Carolina for financial reasons,like we originally thought we
were.
I said it's for something elseand I had no idea at the time
what that meant or what that waseven all about.
(07:42):
But I knew, I just knew.
And so when we got to NorthCarolina, rich said, hey, I want
us to go to church and I waslike okay.
So I said, well, where are wegoing to go?
And he's like I don't know,let's just start finding a
church.
And so we went to severaldifferent churches and just
(08:03):
didn't feel plugged in anywhere,honestly.
And one day I was listening toa Christian radio station and
again, I didn't listen toChristian radio.
I don't even know actually howI got onto this Christian radio
station.
But I did and the guy wastalking about church and I was
like, well, we don't have achurch to go to.
(08:25):
So I wish we did.
And I remember thinking thatand so I actually called into
the listener hotline and I'msure this guy was like this lady
is crazy.
But I said, you know, we're newto town, when should we go to
church?
And I think, as I said, he wasa little the announcer was a
little bit taken back and he'slike well, you can come to my
(08:49):
church and I cannot wait to meetthis guy when we get to heaven,
because he has no idea whatthat invite did to change my
life and my husband's life.
So don't ever stop invitingpeople to church.
That's a whole conversation foranother day.
But so he invited us to hischurch and then the next Sunday
(09:12):
we went to his church, which wasHickory Grove Baptist Church,
and Dr Brown was giving thispowerful sermon.
If you have ever heard himpreach, he's just very
authoritative and just tellsstories and just really pulled
us in.
And again, I don't rememberwhat it was about, but Rich and
I went forward and werededicated our lives to the
(09:35):
Lord, right then and there.
And then that evening, you know,we had gone home and that
evening we got a knock at thedoor and these two guys from
Hickory Grove showed up withcookies.
And I was like this is weird.
Okay, because, again, I didn'tgrow up church, I didn't even
know that people brought youcookies.
So that was weird to me.
(09:55):
And they were like we justwanted to thank you for coming
to church today and they wantedus to invite us to their Sunday
school class, and so we talkedabout that.
They gave me their wife'snumber and said, here, give them
a call and, you know, go visittheir class or their Sunday
(10:17):
school.
Excuse me, not their Sundayschool, but their ladies Bible
study.
And so I was like, okay, well,I've never been to a ladies
Bible study before.
And I was like I'm sure they'rejust sitting around.
I literally was thinking this,thinking that they're just
sitting around drinking tea, hottea, and talking in King James
verbiage.
And so I was like, okay, thatwas nice of them.
(10:40):
I'm glad they stopped by.
I may call those ladies, butI'm not sure about that.
So during this time I was, youknow, again, we had just moved
from Montana to North Carolinaand we were probably three
months in, I would say to ourtime in Charlotte, and I was
(11:01):
struggling with just having lostmy mom, being alone, worrying
about my sister and brother.
You know, rich encouraged me togo see a doctor and of course
you know they diagnosed me withPTSD from my earlier trauma
growing up, and then anxiety anddepression, and so I was in a
(11:22):
very, very dark spot and Ineeded some hope.
And so I thought, well, and Ihad attended a few AA meetings
in the area, but I thought, whatthe heck?
I'm going to go ahead and reachout to this lady at this Bible
study, and I did, and when Icalled her, she was extremely
friendly and kind and sheinvited me to their next Bible
(11:45):
study.
And so I drove over there again, not knowing what I was getting
into, but to my amazement, theywere talking about marriage and
intimacy and I was like, wait aminute, what is this?
And so they said, hey, come toour Sunday school class on
Sunday.
And when I went home and I toldRich about it, I'm like, hey,
(12:09):
they've invited us to theirSunday school class, we should
go.
He's like, okay, so we go totheir Sunday school class.
And I'm like I have no idea howto operate a Bible at all.
I didn't know anything aboutwhere the Old Testament was or
the New Testament was, or whateven the Old Testament or New
Testament was, and so obviouslyI didn't have a clue how to find
(12:30):
any place in the Bible whereany of the books were in the
Bible, where any of the bookswere.
And I remember our Sundayschool teacher, mr Nance, we
were studying the book ofNehemiah and I'll never forget
that I didn't know where to lookin my Bible for Nehemiah, and
they showed us where Nehemiahwas.
(12:51):
And you think that's reallygreat, tanya, I'm so glad you're
sharing this.
Why are you sharing this?
And it actually chokes me up alittle bit because, um, you know
, I never once felt judgment inthat moment when they took us
under their wing, didn't knowanything about the bible, didn't
(13:14):
know how to find it.
They weren't snickering oh,look at these people.
They don't know where about theBible, didn't know how to find
it.
They weren't snickering, oh,look at these people.
They don't know where Nehemiahis in the Bible, but they were
kind and they showed us just howto navigate it and they loved
on us like nothing I had everexperienced from strangers in my
life.
And you know, we chose at thetime for me to stay home with
(13:36):
our daughter and we sacrificedso much for that to be on one
income.
And you know, times were toughand I was getting ready to go
home it was going to be thefirst Christmas home, having
lost my mom and so, you know,the folks from the Sunday school
(13:57):
class heard or learned that weweren't putting up a Christmas
tree because we chose me goinghome for Christmas to be with my
family instead of presents anda tree.
And one day we get a knock atthe door and there's like 10 of
them and they show up and theyhave a Christmas tree and they
have presents and they havegifts and they have decorations
(14:20):
and they have toys and I'mpretty sure they even had a
recliner and a couple pieces offurniture for us.
And it was truly one of themost beautiful things I'd
experienced in my short time inGod's family.
It was unconditional and it wasgenuine time in God's family.
It was unconditional and it wasgenuine and it caused us
honestly to know, to want toknow more about God.
(14:49):
And so we dove in, rich and Idove in.
We attended Sunday school classevery week because we felt like
we belonged, we felt like wewere loved.
I went to ladies' Bible study.
We went on marriage retreats,we began serving in the church
and in the four years that wewere there, we ended up having
two more children and theybrought us food, which that was
something I didn't even know.
Like, you take meals to people,what, what is that?
(15:12):
So they brought us food youknow like a week's worth of
meals.
They had baby showers for us,they bought diapers for us, they
bought supplies for us andmostly they just loved us in a
way that drew us so close to theLord.
And again, I get so emotionalabout this because I feel like,
(15:33):
as a society, we've lost our wayon this one.
I'm going to talk about thatlater, so I don't want to get
into it right now, but here I am.
I lost my mother and then God,in his goodness, placed this
amazing extended family into ourlives to love on us.
And it was one of those thingswhere, when we moved to go back
(15:56):
to Montana four years later, itwas so hard to leave those
amazing people, but we knew thatGod was calling us back to
Montana and so we left.
They helped us pack our movingvan, they gave us money to get
across the country and we leftmoney to get across the country
(16:18):
and we left.
And so when we got to Montana,we knew that we needed to
continue to be involved inchurch and be in church.
And so we searched, we went toa bunch of different churches in
Montana too, and then we endedup on Emanuel Baptist Church and
this would be the place whereGod would literally radically
change and transform Rich andI's marriage.
I think you know, up until thispoint we were surviving.
(16:42):
It wasn't pretty, but we weresurviving.
And so when we got to EmmanuelBaptist Church, I remember
attending church for the firstcouple months and I just was
falling flat with connectingwith the women because I had
this expectation from what I hadexperienced from Hickory Grove
(17:04):
that that was going to be thesame thing there.
And so I went to the pastor andI asked him.
I said, like what is wrong withthe women here?
And you know I'm reallystruggling to connect.
And he said and I'll neverforget his response he's like
well, tanya, he didn't say itquite like this, but this is how
I internalized it he's likewhat are you doing about it?
(17:25):
And I was like, okay, what Areyou for real?
And it was like he was saying,well, why don't you invite them
to do something, or why don'tyou lead something?
And I actually I know thisisn't very nice to say, but it
actually pissed me off.
I was like, how dare you thesepeople should be, you know open
arms and extend their love, justlike what I experienced at
(17:48):
Hickory Grove.
And so the expectations that Ihad of that really kicked my
butt.
So I thought, well, I'm goingto show you.
And now I had a mission.
So I started working with kidswith disabilities on Sundays and
teaching them life skills,while loving them through the
eyes of Jesus.
And then I started teachinghigh school girls and teaching
(18:09):
them life skills, because, again, that's one of the things that
a lot of young people lack isjust basic life skills, and
again, that's one of the thingsthat a lot of young people lack
is just basic life skills.
And so I dove in with the highschoolers, and then Rich was
teaching the high school boysand he was working through a
leadership program with thepastor for men in leadership.
And then I decided to start,under the leadership of our
(18:32):
pastor a ladies Bible study andI loved that.
It was great to meet with women.
I didn't just meet with themduring Bible study, but I also
met with them in a laycounseling position and tried to
help them through some oflife's hardest issues.
And then Rich and I beganteaching a married adult Sunday
(18:53):
school class and mentoringcouples who were going through
addictions, pornography, youknow trauma, whatever it was,
and we were, you know affairs.
We were mentoring through allof that and it just grew our
faith.
And we hosted socials all thetime.
We'd have a fall festival.
(19:14):
We'd had the Redneck Nationalsthat's a funny story I'll have
to tell you about.
Sometime.
We had 4th of July parties.
Those of us remember thoseparties.
We almost burnt down theneighbor's fields.
We had New Year's Eve partiesNow, remember guys, because we
don't drink, these were allalcohol-free, okay, so we were
having some fun.
Even at one of our New Year'sEve parties, the cops showed up,
(19:38):
which that was a funny storyBecause I knew the cop, so I was
able to be like we're good bud.
But it was a great time in ourspiritual journey.
And was it easy?
Absolutely not, and I don'twant anybody to think right now
that I'm painting this as aneasy process.
You know we still had financialstruggles because I was staying
(20:00):
home with the kids.
You know we had three or fourkids at that time.
But it was worth every minuteof it.
Every minute of it.
You know our Mackenzie andIsabel were going through some
health struggles, with thehearing loss and the seizures.
Rich almost lost his eye to ametal in his eye accident.
(20:22):
I got bucked off a horse.
They thought for a while I hadcancer, and on and on.
And all the while, you know, Iwas still working through the
trauma of my childhood and youngadult years, and so my question
to you is why did I go throughall of that?
Why did I share that with you?
And it's because I want you tounderstand that healing is a
(20:45):
journey, and it's just that it'sa journey, but it requires
courage and resilience and, mostimportantly, faith.
My faith journey and this iswhat I hope you get from this
it's not a passive faith.
It has to be very, veryintentional, because that's the
(21:07):
most important part of healing.
Like I said, growing up weshoved everything under the rug,
we didn't talk about it, andyou've got to be active in your
faith and in growing and healing.
And so you know, if you haven'tgiven your life to Jesus Christ
and surrender it, today is theday Do it, don't wait.
(21:30):
It is the best decision I'veever made, you know, because
people will be like, well, howdo you know God's real?
Or you know Christians areboring, or whatever it is.
And here's my answer to that isI tried everything.
The world offered me everythingdrugs, alcohol, sex, money,
relationships, you name it.
I tried all of that and all itdid was bring pain and hurt.
(21:54):
And so I have yet to meetanyone who has regretted
surrendering their life toChrist.
You know, for me, my surrenderto Christ was selfish at first,
because I wanted to go to heavenand see my loved ones.
But now I know that I couldhave never walked this path
(22:16):
without the Lord.
And so if this is you today,holding out on giving your life
to the Lord, I'm just tellingyou don't wait.
You have no idea what tomorrowbrings, no idea.
No idea what tomorrow brings,no idea.
(22:38):
You could lose.
You could, you could die, youcould lose a loved one.
You just have no idea.
And, honestly, what do you haveto lose?
I mean, really, what do youhave to lose here.
The journey isn't easy, butit's worth it.
So I just want to encourage youto start reading in Proverbs or
John, just so you know.
Proverbs is in the first halfof the Bible and John is in the
New Testament, which is thesecond half.
(23:00):
And you know, if you just stepback and look at the mental
health decline and our faithdecline in our country, you
don't think there's acorrelation.
Well, there is.
And I would say to those of youwho are believers and are
walking with the Lord I want toencourage you, don't stop
inviting people to church orloving on people.
(23:22):
It takes two seconds to be kindto someone.
You have no idea what they'regoing through.
What they're going through.
It could just be a smile, itcould just be I'm so glad you're
here, but that's what thosepeople did at Hickory Grove
(23:43):
Baptist Church to Rich and I andit radically changed our life.
So I want to encourage you tomy Christian family don't be so
narrow-minded and blinded by thebusyness of the world that you
don't see people.
See them.
See them like God wants you tosee them.
(24:04):
And I want to get back to thebasics of you know.
Let's start taking cookies tovisitors.
I'm just joking, but it's agood thing to do, and so I just
really want to encourage you tobegin seeing people the way God
(24:24):
sees them, and I want to beginto express to those of you that
haven't given your life to theLord to do it and to not wait,
and for those of you that maybehave become stagnant in your
journey get back in, get back inthe saddle, don't let life
distract you.
Join a Bible study or a lifegroup.
(24:45):
I wish more churches would goback to Sunday school class, but
they've moved away from thatand they're doing live groups.
But either way, get involved.
The other thing that I did overthe years is I read, read, read,
read, read and read.
I love to read, I love the mind, I love to figure out why
people do what they do, and tobecome a student.
(25:08):
And I just know, when I die, Idon't want my pain, any of my
pain or the adversity that I'vegone through to be wasted, and
because of that I'm just likeokay, lord, I'm here, I'll do
whatever you want.
I don't want to waste anything,Because when you have been
wounded or have been hurt inways that you can't explain,
(25:35):
there's no answer.
You know why would God let badthings happen to people?
It's the driving force ofputting purpose to the pain, and
so I want to have a legacy thatmy family and my friends know
that speaks of faith and courageand resilience, because for me,
quitting isn't an option,because who's inspired by
(25:57):
quitters?
Nobody, nobody's inspired byquitters.
So let's go.
Let's keep breaking down thosewalls and pursuing healing and
faith and just see what God willdo.
I promise you you won't bedisappointed.
It doesn't mean that it's notgoing to be hard, but you're not
going to be disappointed.
So your action item this weekis, first off, if you haven't
(26:20):
given your life to the Lord, youneed to do that.
Secondly, if you're stagnant inyour walk and your journey, I
encourage you to just dive backin.
And then, thirdly, just tap theeyes to see this week who you
can help, who just needs a smile, who just needs a little bit of
love.
And then, as we wrap up, I wantto encourage you to subscribe
(26:40):
to Courageous Overcomers andjoin our community.
Please, please, please leave afive-star review, because that
helps us get hope out faster,and then share this episode with
someone who you think mightneed encouragement today.
And if you have any questionsabout any of this, about getting
to know Jesus in a personal way, the sinner's prayer, any of
(27:03):
that, please email me at tanyaat tanyashelnutcom.
Tune in next Wednesday sametime, same place.
Appreciate you all and have agreat week.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Thank you for joining us here on Courageous
Overcomers with Tonya Shellnutt.
Please remember to follow, likeand share this podcast.
To find out more about Tonya,go to her website at
tonyashellnutt.
com, or to ask a question aboutanything you've heard on today's
show.
Leave us a five-star review andyour message or email at tonya
at tonyashellnutt.
com.
(27:37):
Remember that'sS-H-E-L-L-N-U-T-T.
This podcast is produced by BobSlone Audio Productions.
Welcome to Courageous Overcomers stories of
hope and healing.
I'm your host, Tonya Shellnutt.
Here on Courageous Overcomers,we talk about the hard stuff
addiction, trauma, fear, painand overcoming.
Let's be honest, so many of ushide from our pain because it's
just so hard to face.
(00:26):
But here's the truth we can'theal what we're not willing to
face.
This week, we're going to talkabout the spiritual strength and
overcoming, and I want to talkabout the vital role that faith
plays in recovery from ouraddictions, abuse and or trauma.
My kids told me this week I waslike have you guys listened to
(00:48):
my podcast in a while?
And they're like no, it's sohard, it's sad I can't listen to
it.
That was what one of them said.
And then the other one saidwell, you sound so scripted, you
just need to act like you'retalking to an audience in person
.
And the reality is is it's notas easy as you would think to be
able to do a podcast whenyou're used to speaking in front
(01:11):
of people.
So I'm going to try really hardthis week not to sound scripted
.
But the reality is is thatwe're all on this journey
together and it's something thatI feel like the Lord has put on
my heart to share with you guysand to just talk about the pain
and the hard times that we gothrough.
So if I have a script and Isound scripted, I'm going to get
(01:33):
there.
I'm only like on episode 13,for crying out loud, we're going
to get there and y'all aregoing to get there with me.
So this week I want to talk toyou about my faith journey.
I think that the reality is isover the last couple of weeks,
we heard from Betsy and we heardfrom Candy, and I think if you
(01:53):
haven't heard those podcasts,you have to go back and listen
to them because they're so good.
But the common thread withthose two and, honestly, the
things that I've shared with youis just all about faith.
It's their faith that keepsthem going.
And you know when we talkedfrom the very beginning of this
podcast about how, when we'rewounded, we build emotional
(02:16):
walls, and we know that when webuild those emotional walls, we
keep good things out and weoften let the bad things stay
inside, and so we have to knockdown those emotional walls brick
by brick, and each brickrepresents a wound that we have
to break down.
So so far, we know that we needcourage and resilience to break
(02:40):
down those bricks and we talkedabout that early on in some of
our episodes.
And the next tool in breakingdown those bricks is faith, and
faith is truly the key.
So I didn't grow up churched.
I grew up in Montana andthere's more bars than there are
(03:02):
churches.
On occasion I would go with myaunt to Christmas or Easter
services, but I didn't knowanything about God or Jesus, and
it wasn't until after thesuicide of that old boyfriend
that I shared with you guysabout I think in the very first
(03:22):
episode that I was introduced toChrist and I had a lady who
worked next door to my office inBellevue, washington, and she
really took me under her wingafter that loss and I would go
with her and her family on theweekends to a cabin at the lake
and it was about an hour and ahalf drive to their cabin and we
(03:42):
would listen to Sandy Patty thewhole way there.
And if you don't know who SandyPatty is, she is a gospel
singer.
I'm not going to lie.
I was like this music is soarchaic and boring, but I heard
a message in her music at thetime and so it actually prompted
(04:04):
me to ask a lot of questionsand, again, I still didn't know
Jesus in a personal way.
But she invited me to go tochurch with her one day in
Redmond Washington, one Sunday,and I went and I don't recall
what the sermon was about.
I just know that the pastorgave—and I don't even know what
denomination it was.
I honestly don't remember.
(04:24):
But I know that the pastor gavean and I don't even know what
denomination it was.
I honestly don't remember.
But I know that the pastor gavean altar call and I went
forward and my friend her namewas Judy she gave me my first
Bible and I wish I could say atthat moment, going forward, I
knew what that meant, but I hadno idea and I did not live a
changed life.
(04:44):
I just went back to drinkingand partying and I let that
Bible collect some dust.
So fast forward a couple yearsand Rich, my husband of 30 years
, almost enters the picture andhe had recently moved to Montana
fresh out of the Navy, and hehappened to be my cousin's
(05:07):
boyfriend's roommate, and so youcan go back and listen to the
episode where I share a littlebit about Rich and how we met.
But Rich, basically when wefirst met, he began to question
my drinking, and so that's whenI ended up going to treatment,
(05:27):
and in treatment we focused alot on the 12-step program and
if you know anything about the12-step program, it does focus
on God and faith.
And so the seeds were plantedand I began to learn a little
bit more.
And then, you know, we gotmarried, we had our first
daughter and we went to church afew times with some friends,
(05:50):
but nothing consistent.
And then on August 23, 1997,that was the dreadful day that
my mom suddenly died in amotorcycle accident and our
stuff was actually getting puton the moving van to move to
Charlotte, North Carolina, 2,000miles away from my family.
(06:11):
The day that happened andeverything changed for me.
That day.
Everything and I think lossdoes that to you Like Candy and
Betsy shared after losing theirloved ones.
It changes you in the deepestway, and my mom was 100% my best
friend and I loved her so much,and so losing her so suddenly
(06:35):
and like we talked about lastweek, with Candy not being able
to say goodbye, it was just someof the worst pain that I've
ever endured.
I can't even explain it, anduntil you lose a loved one you
may not understand that pain.
But here I was, you know, newlysober, a new mom, a new wife,
(06:57):
and my best friend was gone whenI lived in Washington, well, up
until my mom's death, honestly,we would talk every single day,
and so it was a gut check.
And I can remember we weredriving through the switchbacks
of Durango, Colorado, in thislittle turquoise, green Geo
Metro with Rich and I and ourlittle girl on our way to North
(07:21):
Carolina, and Rich was actuallygoing to work for his brothers.
And I remember telling Richwe're not going to North
Carolina for financial reasons,like we originally thought we
were.
I said it's for something elseand I had no idea at the time
what that meant or what that waseven all about.
(07:42):
But I knew, I just knew.
And so when we got to NorthCarolina, rich said, hey, I want
us to go to church and I waslike okay.
So I said, well, where are wegoing to go?
And he's like I don't know,let's just start finding a
church.
And so we went to severaldifferent churches and just
(08:03):
didn't feel plugged in anywhere,honestly.
And one day I was listening toa Christian radio station and
again, I didn't listen toChristian radio.
I don't even know actually howI got onto this Christian radio
station.
But I did and the guy wastalking about church and I was
like, well, we don't have achurch to go to.
(08:25):
So I wish we did.
And I remember thinking thatand so I actually called into
the listener hotline and I'msure this guy was like this lady
is crazy.
But I said, you know, we're newto town, when should we go to
church?
And I think, as I said, he wasa little the announcer was a
little bit taken back and he'slike well, you can come to my
(08:49):
church and I cannot wait to meetthis guy when we get to heaven,
because he has no idea whatthat invite did to change my
life and my husband's life.
So don't ever stop invitingpeople to church.
That's a whole conversation foranother day.
But so he invited us to hischurch and then the next Sunday
(09:12):
we went to his church, which wasHickory Grove Baptist Church,
and Dr Brown was giving thispowerful sermon.
If you have ever heard himpreach, he's just very
authoritative and just tellsstories and just really pulled
us in.
And again, I don't rememberwhat it was about, but Rich and
I went forward and werededicated our lives to the
(09:35):
Lord, right then and there.
And then that evening, you know,we had gone home and that
evening we got a knock at thedoor and these two guys from
Hickory Grove showed up withcookies.
And I was like this is weird.
Okay, because, again, I didn'tgrow up church, I didn't even
know that people brought youcookies.
So that was weird to me.
(09:55):
And they were like we justwanted to thank you for coming
to church today and they wantedus to invite us to their Sunday
school class, and so we talkedabout that.
They gave me their wife'snumber and said, here, give them
a call and, you know, go visittheir class or their Sunday
(10:17):
school.
Excuse me, not their Sundayschool, but their ladies Bible
study.
And so I was like, okay, well,I've never been to a ladies
Bible study before.
And I was like I'm sure they'rejust sitting around.
I literally was thinking this,thinking that they're just
sitting around drinking tea, hottea, and talking in King James
verbiage.
And so I was like, okay, thatwas nice of them.
(10:40):
I'm glad they stopped by.
I may call those ladies, butI'm not sure about that.
So during this time I was, youknow, again, we had just moved
from Montana to North Carolinaand we were probably three
months in, I would say to ourtime in Charlotte, and I was
(11:01):
struggling with just having lostmy mom, being alone, worrying
about my sister and brother.
You know, rich encouraged me togo see a doctor and of course
you know they diagnosed me withPTSD from my earlier trauma
growing up, and then anxiety anddepression, and so I was in a
(11:22):
very, very dark spot and Ineeded some hope.
And so I thought, well, and Ihad attended a few AA meetings
in the area, but I thought, whatthe heck?
I'm going to go ahead and reachout to this lady at this Bible
study, and I did, and when Icalled her, she was extremely
friendly and kind and sheinvited me to their next Bible
(11:45):
study.
And so I drove over there again, not knowing what I was getting
into, but to my amazement, theywere talking about marriage and
intimacy and I was like, wait aminute, what is this?
And so they said, hey, come toour Sunday school class on
Sunday.
And when I went home and I toldRich about it, I'm like, hey,
(12:09):
they've invited us to theirSunday school class, we should
go.
He's like, okay, so we go totheir Sunday school class.
And I'm like I have no idea howto operate a Bible at all.
I didn't know anything aboutwhere the Old Testament was or
the New Testament was, or whateven the Old Testament or New
Testament was, and so obviouslyI didn't have a clue how to find
(12:30):
any place in the Bible whereany of the books were in the
Bible, where any of the bookswere.
And I remember our Sundayschool teacher, mr Nance, we
were studying the book ofNehemiah and I'll never forget
that I didn't know where to lookin my Bible for Nehemiah, and
they showed us where Nehemiahwas.
(12:51):
And you think that's reallygreat, tanya, I'm so glad you're
sharing this.
Why are you sharing this?
And it actually chokes me up alittle bit because, um, you know
, I never once felt judgment inthat moment when they took us
under their wing, didn't knowanything about the bible, didn't
(13:14):
know how to find it.
They weren't snickering oh,look at these people.
They don't know where about theBible, didn't know how to find
it.
They weren't snickering, oh,look at these people.
They don't know where Nehemiahis in the Bible, but they were
kind and they showed us just howto navigate it and they loved
on us like nothing I had everexperienced from strangers in my
life.
And you know, we chose at thetime for me to stay home with
(13:36):
our daughter and we sacrificedso much for that to be on one
income.
And you know, times were toughand I was getting ready to go
home it was going to be thefirst Christmas home, having
lost my mom and so, you know,the folks from the Sunday school
(13:57):
class heard or learned that weweren't putting up a Christmas
tree because we chose me goinghome for Christmas to be with my
family instead of presents anda tree.
And one day we get a knock atthe door and there's like 10 of
them and they show up and theyhave a Christmas tree and they
have presents and they havegifts and they have decorations
(14:20):
and they have toys and I'mpretty sure they even had a
recliner and a couple pieces offurniture for us.
And it was truly one of themost beautiful things I'd
experienced in my short time inGod's family.
It was unconditional and it wasgenuine time in God's family.
It was unconditional and it wasgenuine and it caused us
honestly to know, to want toknow more about God.
(14:49):
And so we dove in, rich and Idove in.
We attended Sunday school classevery week because we felt like
we belonged, we felt like wewere loved.
I went to ladies' Bible study.
We went on marriage retreats,we began serving in the church
and in the four years that wewere there, we ended up having
two more children and theybrought us food, which that was
something I didn't even know.
Like, you take meals to people,what, what is that?
(15:12):
So they brought us food youknow like a week's worth of
meals.
They had baby showers for us,they bought diapers for us, they
bought supplies for us andmostly they just loved us in a
way that drew us so close to theLord.
And again, I get so emotionalabout this because I feel like,
(15:33):
as a society, we've lost our wayon this one.
I'm going to talk about thatlater, so I don't want to get
into it right now, but here I am.
I lost my mother and then God,in his goodness, placed this
amazing extended family into ourlives to love on us.
And it was one of those thingswhere, when we moved to go back
(15:56):
to Montana four years later, itwas so hard to leave those
amazing people, but we knew thatGod was calling us back to
Montana and so we left.
They helped us pack our movingvan, they gave us money to get
across the country and we leftmoney to get across the country
(16:18):
and we left.
And so when we got to Montana,we knew that we needed to
continue to be involved inchurch and be in church.
And so we searched, we went toa bunch of different churches in
Montana too, and then we endedup on Emanuel Baptist Church and
this would be the place whereGod would literally radically
change and transform Rich andI's marriage.
I think you know, up until thispoint we were surviving.
(16:42):
It wasn't pretty, but we weresurviving.
And so when we got to EmmanuelBaptist Church, I remember
attending church for the firstcouple months and I just was
falling flat with connectingwith the women because I had
this expectation from what I hadexperienced from Hickory Grove
(17:04):
that that was going to be thesame thing there.
And so I went to the pastor andI asked him.
I said, like what is wrong withthe women here?
And you know I'm reallystruggling to connect.
And he said and I'll neverforget his response he's like
well, tanya, he didn't say itquite like this, but this is how
I internalized it he's likewhat are you doing about it?
(17:25):
And I was like, okay, what Areyou for real?
And it was like he was saying,well, why don't you invite them
to do something, or why don'tyou lead something?
And I actually I know thisisn't very nice to say, but it
actually pissed me off.
I was like, how dare you thesepeople should be, you know open
arms and extend their love, justlike what I experienced at
(17:48):
Hickory Grove.
And so the expectations that Ihad of that really kicked my
butt.
So I thought, well, I'm goingto show you.
And now I had a mission.
So I started working with kidswith disabilities on Sundays and
teaching them life skills,while loving them through the
eyes of Jesus.
And then I started teachinghigh school girls and teaching
(18:09):
them life skills, because, again, that's one of the things that
a lot of young people lack isjust basic life skills, and
again, that's one of the thingsthat a lot of young people lack
is just basic life skills.
And so I dove in with the highschoolers, and then Rich was
teaching the high school boysand he was working through a
leadership program with thepastor for men in leadership.
And then I decided to start,under the leadership of our
(18:32):
pastor a ladies Bible study andI loved that.
It was great to meet with women.
I didn't just meet with themduring Bible study, but I also
met with them in a laycounseling position and tried to
help them through some oflife's hardest issues.
And then Rich and I beganteaching a married adult Sunday
(18:53):
school class and mentoringcouples who were going through
addictions, pornography, youknow trauma, whatever it was,
and we were, you know affairs.
We were mentoring through allof that and it just grew our
faith.
And we hosted socials all thetime.
We'd have a fall festival.
(19:14):
We'd had the Redneck Nationalsthat's a funny story I'll have
to tell you about.
Sometime.
We had 4th of July parties.
Those of us remember thoseparties.
We almost burnt down theneighbor's fields.
We had New Year's Eve partiesNow, remember guys, because we
don't drink, these were allalcohol-free, okay, so we were
having some fun.
Even at one of our New Year'sEve parties, the cops showed up,
(19:38):
which that was a funny storyBecause I knew the cop, so I was
able to be like we're good bud.
But it was a great time in ourspiritual journey.
And was it easy?
Absolutely not, and I don'twant anybody to think right now
that I'm painting this as aneasy process.
You know we still had financialstruggles because I was staying
(20:00):
home with the kids.
You know we had three or fourkids at that time.
But it was worth every minuteof it.
Every minute of it.
You know our Mackenzie andIsabel were going through some
health struggles, with thehearing loss and the seizures.
Rich almost lost his eye to ametal in his eye accident.
(20:22):
I got bucked off a horse.
They thought for a while I hadcancer, and on and on.
And all the while, you know, Iwas still working through the
trauma of my childhood and youngadult years, and so my question
to you is why did I go throughall of that?
Why did I share that with you?
And it's because I want you tounderstand that healing is a
(20:45):
journey, and it's just that it'sa journey, but it requires
courage and resilience and, mostimportantly, faith.
My faith journey and this iswhat I hope you get from this
it's not a passive faith.
It has to be very, veryintentional, because that's the
(21:07):
most important part of healing.
Like I said, growing up weshoved everything under the rug,
we didn't talk about it, andyou've got to be active in your
faith and in growing and healing.
And so you know, if you haven'tgiven your life to Jesus Christ
and surrender it, today is theday Do it, don't wait.
(21:30):
It is the best decision I'veever made, you know, because
people will be like, well, howdo you know God's real?
Or you know Christians areboring, or whatever it is.
And here's my answer to that isI tried everything.
The world offered me everythingdrugs, alcohol, sex, money,
relationships, you name it.
I tried all of that and all itdid was bring pain and hurt.
(21:54):
And so I have yet to meetanyone who has regretted
surrendering their life toChrist.
You know, for me, my surrenderto Christ was selfish at first,
because I wanted to go to heavenand see my loved ones.
But now I know that I couldhave never walked this path
(22:16):
without the Lord.
And so if this is you today,holding out on giving your life
to the Lord, I'm just tellingyou don't wait.
You have no idea what tomorrowbrings, no idea.
No idea what tomorrow brings,no idea.
(22:38):
You could lose.
You could, you could die, youcould lose a loved one.
You just have no idea.
And, honestly, what do you haveto lose?
I mean, really, what do youhave to lose here.
The journey isn't easy, butit's worth it.
So I just want to encourage youto start reading in Proverbs or
John, just so you know.
Proverbs is in the first halfof the Bible and John is in the
New Testament, which is thesecond half.
(23:00):
And you know, if you just stepback and look at the mental
health decline and our faithdecline in our country, you
don't think there's acorrelation.
Well, there is.
And I would say to those of youwho are believers and are
walking with the Lord I want toencourage you, don't stop
inviting people to church orloving on people.
(23:22):
It takes two seconds to be kindto someone.
You have no idea what they'regoing through.
What they're going through.
It could just be a smile, itcould just be I'm so glad you're
here, but that's what thosepeople did at Hickory Grove
(23:43):
Baptist Church to Rich and I andit radically changed our life.
So I want to encourage you tomy Christian family don't be so
narrow-minded and blinded by thebusyness of the world that you
don't see people.
See them.
See them like God wants you tosee them.
(24:04):
And I want to get back to thebasics of you know.
Let's start taking cookies tovisitors.
I'm just joking, but it's agood thing to do, and so I just
really want to encourage you tobegin seeing people the way God
(24:24):
sees them, and I want to beginto express to those of you that
haven't given your life to theLord to do it and to not wait,
and for those of you that maybehave become stagnant in your
journey get back in, get back inthe saddle, don't let life
distract you.
Join a Bible study or a lifegroup.
(24:45):
I wish more churches would goback to Sunday school class, but
they've moved away from thatand they're doing live groups.
But either way, get involved.
The other thing that I did overthe years is I read, read, read,
read, read and read.
I love to read, I love the mind, I love to figure out why
people do what they do, and tobecome a student.
(25:08):
And I just know, when I die, Idon't want my pain, any of my
pain or the adversity that I'vegone through to be wasted, and
because of that I'm just likeokay, lord, I'm here, I'll do
whatever you want.
I don't want to waste anything,Because when you have been
wounded or have been hurt inways that you can't explain,
(25:35):
there's no answer.
You know why would God let badthings happen to people?
It's the driving force ofputting purpose to the pain, and
so I want to have a legacy thatmy family and my friends know
that speaks of faith and courageand resilience, because for me,
quitting isn't an option,because who's inspired by
(25:57):
quitters?
Nobody, nobody's inspired byquitters.
So let's go.
Let's keep breaking down thosewalls and pursuing healing and
faith and just see what God willdo.
I promise you you won't bedisappointed.
It doesn't mean that it's notgoing to be hard, but you're not
going to be disappointed.
So your action item this weekis, first off, if you haven't
(26:20):
given your life to the Lord, youneed to do that.
Secondly, if you're stagnant inyour walk and your journey, I
encourage you to just dive backin.
And then, thirdly, just tap theeyes to see this week who you
can help, who just needs a smile, who just needs a little bit of
love.
And then, as we wrap up, I wantto encourage you to subscribe
(26:40):
to Courageous Overcomers andjoin our community.
Please, please, please leave afive-star review, because that
helps us get hope out faster,and then share this episode with
someone who you think mightneed encouragement today.
And if you have any questionsabout any of this, about getting
to know Jesus in a personal way, the sinner's prayer, any of
(27:03):
that, please email me at tanyaat tanyashelnutcom.
Tune in next Wednesday sametime, same place.
Appreciate you all and have agreat week.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Thank you for joining us here on Courageous
Overcomers with Tonya Shellnutt.
Please remember to follow, likeand share this podcast.
To find out more about Tonya,go to her website at
tonyashellnutt.
com, or to ask a question aboutanything you've heard on today's
show.
Leave us a five-star review andyour message or email at tonya
at tonyashellnutt.
com.
(27:37):
Remember that'sS-H-E-L-L-N-U-T-T.
This podcast is produced by BobSlone Audio Productions.
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