The Weeds We Leave Behind

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The garden of your life needs regular weeding - a truth that resonates deeply whether you're nurturing actual plants or cultivating personal growth. Drawing from my childhood experiences of weeding as punishment, I share powerful insights about identifying and removing the things that steal energy from what matters most.

What's draining your potential right now? Perhaps it's bitterness disguised as boundaries, shame whispering you'll never change, addictive behaviors masquerading as stress relief, or relationships that feel comfortable but keep you stuck. These emotional and spiritual weeds don't ask permission - they simply take up space, and if left unchecked, they'll choke out everything you're trying so hard to grow.

The painful truth is that sometimes what helped us survive becomes what prevents us from thriving. Those coping mechanisms and familiar patterns might feel safe, but they're cluttering your soil. This episode offers practical guidance for recognizing these patterns and finding the courage to uproot what doesn't belong in your new season. Through scripture, personal stories, and actionable steps, we explore how eliminating a weed isn't a loss - it's a gift to what you want to grow. Take the challenge: identify what's stealing your peace each morning and commit to clearing space for what truly matters. Download the free five-day healing workbook from my website to help you through this process of spiritual gardening. Ready to make room for what's holy in your life?

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Link to 5 day workbook https://www.tonyashellnutt.com/2025-healing-cleanse

Episode Transcript

Tonya Shellnutt (00:10):
Welcome to Courageous Overcomers.
I'm your host, Tonya Shellnutt.
Well, thank you for being withus this week.
Again, if you have beenlistening in, we have a common
theme for the month of May andit's all about gardening.
You can go back and listen toour Mother's Day episode, where
I talk about our familytradition of going out and

(00:30):
buying, you know, plants.
We have a very small garden.
It's a vegetable raised excuseme, a raised garden beds, so
it's nothing huge.
This week we're going to talkabout the weeds that we leave
behind.
Last week we talked about beingrooted.
This week we're going to talkabout the weeds that we leave
behind.
Last week we talked about beingrooted.
This week we're going to talkabout the weeds.
And so I hate weeds.

(00:51):
I'm going to tell you why Ihate weeds and I'm going to tell
you why I hate weeding.
So, growing up, one of the manypunishments that I had when I
would get in trouble was weeding, and my mom had a garden and my
aunt had a garden.
So if we got, if I got doneweeding, my mom's garden and my
aunt's garden needed to beweeded.

(01:12):
She had like 100 acres and I'dhave to go weed it.
Just joking, it wasn't really100 acres, but it was a lot, and
we know that in a garden, noteverything green is healthy.
We also know that weeds growfast.
So for me, when I would get introuble which was weekly I
wouldn't ever really get tochange jobs because the weeds

(01:33):
were always there and they wouldtake over and they grow fast
and if they're left alone, theychoke out everything you're
trying so hard to plant.
So, granted, my little, youknow, raised beds don't have
very many weeds, but they stillhave weeds and I don't like
weeding.
So, just like that, in healing,some things have to go.

(01:56):
So we're going to talk aboutthat this week and getting out,
getting rid of the things thatneed to go.
So some of them are not alwaysobvious, though, and they steal
energy, space and light fromthat what is meant to flourish.
So weeds don't ask permission,they just take up space, and if
you don't deal with them,they'll deal with you.

(02:19):
So this episode is about thecourage to recognize and uproot
what doesn't belong in this newseason.
So the first point we're goingto talk about is naming the
weeds.
You can't pull what you won'tname.
So let's talk about someexamples of emotional and
spiritual weeds.

(02:40):
Bitterness that pretends to beboundaries, shame that whispers
you're still that same girl.
Addiction behaviors disguisedas a stress relief we can all
relate to this.
I talk a lot about my addictionto food.
I love food.
Relationships that feelfamiliar, but keep you stuck.

(03:02):
That feel familiar, but keepyou stuck.
Comparison that poisons yourjoy.
If only I looked like them.
Cynicism dressed up as justbeing realistic.
How about this one?
The victim mindset that sneaksin and says why try, this
happened to me.
I'm going to have to be likethis forever.

(03:23):
But the real question is what'sstealing energy from the things
that you're trying to grow?
We got to identify those thingsand week one, or yeah, in the
first week of May, I talkedabout well, the second week of
May I talked about the Bloombook.
I gave you guys a template toidentify some of this.

(03:44):
And then last week we talkedabout the five day heal heal
challenge, heal healingchallenge, and so you can go and
identify some of these thingsthat are stealing energy from
you.
I'll tell you more how to getthat in a minute.
But let's talk about uprootingwhat's unfamiliar and unfruitful

(04:05):
.
So some weeds feel comforting,right.
There are some weeds that arepretty, but they choke
everything out.
You've used them to cope, tonumb, to stay safe, and now
they're just cluttering yoursoil.
So what helped you survive maynow be what's keeping you from

(04:25):
growing, and that is the painfulbut freeing work of spiritual
weeding.
So we want to forgive what youkeep rehearsing in your mind.
You need to release what keepsdraining you, and you've got to
cut off what keeps you frombeing planted in peace.
You got to get rid of some ofthose quote pretty weeds.

(04:46):
So here's a scripture verse foryou Every plant.
I think this is such a greatverse.
So this is Matthew 15, 13.
Every plant that my heavenlyfather has not planted will be
pulled up by the roots.
Ooh, that's good stuff.
So that moves us into pointthree, and that's to make room

(05:08):
for what matters, Because whenyou clear out what's healthy,
then you make space for what'sholy and truth and God.
Can't grow new fruit in agarden that's overcrowded, and
sometimes the most spiritualthing you can do is cut back.
So eliminating a weed isn't aloss, it's a gift to the thing

(05:28):
that you want to grow.
So we want to encourage you todo one thing this week, one
thing you need to weed outpractically, spiritually,
relationally, maybe it's you sayyes to everything and you have
no time for anything, and Ithink this is this is an
important thing.
We've all become so busy thatwe don't have time to strengthen

(05:53):
our relationships.
I was recently at a shower, awedding shower and one of the
games if or not games but one ofthe assignments, if you will,
to the attendees was to writeout a suggestion for a date

(06:14):
night, and I was listening toeverybody talking about this and
listening to the conversationand there were people that were
in the room that had beenmarried, you know, three years,
five years, 10 years, 20, 30years.
You had the whole gamut andsome of the people couldn't

(06:35):
think of anything for a datenight suggestion and they were
commenting on how their husbandshad never taken them on a date
or it had been years, and itjust it broke my heart.
I was like wait, what Are youfor real right now?
And it just it goes back to thewhole point of making room for

(06:57):
what matters, because it's easyto fill your life up with with
busyness and and work, butyou're missing out on
opportunity for relationshipBecause, at the end of the day,
all you have is yourrelationships.
When you die, your hearse fullof all your stuff isn't going

(07:20):
with you, it's the relationships.
And so I want to encourage youthis week and I know we're
talking about healing and thingsof that nature, but this is
also very important, you knowdeepening relationships and
strengthening relationships.
So weed out something, whateverit is.
Maybe you need to take timefrom social media and you know,

(07:41):
go, go, take your husband on adate, go ask him and say, hey,
let's go on a date.
It's just really about beingintentional and this is not
marriage advice, but I'm goingto go here.
I had.
I was listening to one of theattendees talk about one of
their date night suggestions andit was actually super fun and

(08:02):
I'm going to share it with you.
It was they cleared the roomand their husband did this for
them, by the way, okay, theycleared out the room and they
created a quote dance floor andturned on a video and learned a
new dance.
I thought how fun would that be.
I'm not sure I could get Richto do it, but I might try it

(08:22):
because it would be really fun.
But anyway, totally a side note, but come here for marriage
advice too.
Lol, Just joking, Okay.
So the challenge this week is totake five minutes every morning
and ask yourself what's tryingto steal my peace today?

(08:43):
What's draining my energy orclouding my focus?
What's draining my energy orclouding my focus?
What lie am I still lettinggrow?
I'll give you an example onthat one.
You're not good enough, You'renot smart enough, You're not

(09:03):
doing enough.
You're not enough.
You're not enough, You're notenough.
I know a lot of women thatstruggle with that.
I still struggle with it, andthat's just not true.
It is not helpful to be tellingyourself that.
It's not helpful for me to tellmyself that so I need to pull
it out of the garden, I need tonot water it, I need to not
coddle it, I need to let it go.
And I want to encourage you todo the same thing, because it's

(09:26):
not helpful to anybody here tocontinue to feed the weed.
It's just not helpful.
So God is not just planning newthings in you, he's clearing
out the old.
So again, what are some of theold things that need to be
cleared out?
How do you need to do it?
Go back and download.

(09:47):
This was what I was going totell you about is get that free
copy of the five day heal andcleanse workbook.
You go to tanyashellnutcom intoyour email address and it'll be
sent to you and it goes through.
You know five things to helpyou work through, and it's
something that you can use overand over again.
It's not just a one time thing,it's something you can use over

(10:09):
and over, and so I want toclose with this.
It's a closing verse.
This is a very short episodethis week, but my daughter is
getting married so I don't havea ton of time, and so we're
going to wrap this up and makeit short, but the verse this
week is John 15, 16.

(10:29):
And it says this you did notchoose me, but I chose you and
appointed you so that you mightgo and bear fruit, fruit that
will last.
I hope everyone has a great weekand I hope you will work on
some of these exercises and findout what needs to be weeded out
.
Go like and share CourageousOvercomers podcast.

(10:50):
Give us a five star review.
And also the other thing thatI'm looking for, too, is I'm
looking for some more people tointerview.
This month I didn't do a lot ofinterviews because I have a lot
of travel planned and so I hadto do a lot of pre recording.
So if you know of anybody thatis a Courageous Overcomer and

(11:14):
that we need to highlight,please send them my way or email
me their name and I will get intouch with them.
Everyone, have a great week.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Thank you for joining us here on Courageous
Overcomers with Tonya Shellnutt.
Please remember to follow, likeand share this podcast.
To find out more about Tonya,go to her website at
tonyashellnutt.
com, or to ask a question aboutanything you've heard on today's
show.
Leave us a five-star review andyour message or email at tonya
at tonyashellnutt.
com.

(11:46):
Remember that'sS-H-E-L-L-N-U-T-T.
This podcast is produced by BobSlone Audio Productions.