Escaping the Bucket: Why Your Friends Might Be Holding You Back

In this candid episode of Crazy Unbelievable Faith, Brian and Kersha Owen tackle a tough but essential topic: the people you surround yourself with. Using the powerful "crabs in a bucket" analogy, they explore how friendships and associations can either be a "rising tide that lifts all ships" or the very thing pulling you down as you try to grow. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who has felt the sting of jealousy from a friend, struggled to find their tribe, or is in a season of intense growth—whether in business, faith, or personal life.

Brian and Kersha get real about the difficult process of assessing relationships, walking away from those that drain your energy, and the freedom that comes from being authentically yourself. They share personal stories of navigating friendships where they had to "tiptoe" to avoid triggering jealousy and the importance of having a core value system to guide your decisions. If you're an entrepreneur, rebuilding after a major life change, or simply trying to level up, this episode is a powerful guide to ensuring the people in your boat are rowing with you, not drilling holes in the bottom.

🔥 What You’ll Learn:

• The "Crabs in a Bucket" Analogy: An unforgettable visual for how even well-meaning friends can subconsciously hold you back from reaching your potential.
• Assessing Your Associations: The crucial difference between friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and why it's okay to let some relationships go.
• The "Rising Tide" Principle: The power of surrounding yourself with people who genuinely celebrate your successes instead of resenting them.
• Authenticity vs. People-Pleasing: Red flags to watch for if you feel you have to hide your wins or "walk on eggshells" around certain friends or family.
• Let Go and Let God: The profound challenge of releasing control, trusting God's plan (especially when it's uncomfortable), and the importance of giving Him the glory.
• Sowing and Reaping in Relationships: Understanding why your biggest blessings might pop up in a completely different area than where you've been putting in the work.
• Shedding Your Old Skin: A powerful metaphor for leaving behind draining relationships and embracing the rebirthing process that comes with new seasons of life.
• Navigating Your Own Jealousy: Brian's candid admission about struggling with others' success and the mindset shift required to genuinely cheer for them.

💬 Memorable Quotes:

• Kersha: "It is okay to give yourself permission to assess the fruit from those friendships. Not every friendship bears fruit."
• Brian: "If you throw a dart anywhere and then draw a circle around it, you can say you made it. But if you have a value system, a moral and ethical system in which you make decisions through, then you can draw the circle and make sure that your target is headed to make that bullseye."
• Kersha: "We spent more mental energy trying to figure out what not to say, to make them jealous than to be authentically ourselves."
• Brian: "Yeah, you're gonna get knocked down in life. It's just a matter of... get knocked down and just stay down."
• Kersha: "As Christians, we're okay, we're gonna follow Jesus and we're gonna let him lead us in our life, but we hold on for control rather than let it go and let God."
• Kersha: "In there, you learn who is willing to encourage you, who's willing to give you hope and sow into you and help you in any way, shape or form."

🛑 Reflect + Apply: Questions to Ask Yourself

• Think about your closest friendships. Are they a "rising tide" that lifts you up, or do you feel like you're in a bucket, constantly being pulled down when you try to climb?
• Have you ever felt like you had to "tiptoe" or hide your successes from a friend or family member? What does that signal about the health of that relationship?
• Brian and Kersha talk about "assessing the fruit" from friendships. What kind of fruit are your current relationships producing? Is it encouragement and light, or something else?
• In what areas of your life are you holding on with a closed fist (seeking control) instead of an open hand (trusting God)?
• Who in your life allows you to be 100% authentic, wins and all? How can you intentionally cultivate more of those relationships?
• When faced with a big decision, do you have a "moral and ethical system" that helps you aim for the bullseye, or are you just throwing a dart and drawing the circle afterward?

🙌 Join the Movement

If you're an entrepreneur feeling isolated, a person rebuilding your life after a major change, or anyone who has felt the pull of "crabs in a bucket," this episode is for you. It's a powerful reminder that your associations matter and that God calls us to surround ourselves