Breaking Up When Nothing's Wrong: Navigating Relationship Crossroads

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Ever struggled with ending a relationship when the person hasn't done anything wrong? Or wondered about the ethics surrounding affairs and who deserves blame? Our latest fishbowl episode tackles these uncomfortable dating topics with candid conversation and practical advice.

First, we address a listener who feels guilty about breaking up with a perfectly nice guy just because the spark has faded and their values don't align. We remind her—and you—that gut feelings are valid reasons to end relationships. Staying with someone despite fundamental incompatibilities only leads to resentment and disappointment for both parties. The dating world might feel like we're all "treading water at best," but that's never a reason to compromise your happiness or lower your standards.

The conversation shifts to a heated debate about accountability in affairs. When married men cheat, who bears responsibility? While the spouse who broke their vows carries the primary blame, we discuss why maintaining personal boundaries against dating married individuals matters. Our take? Both participants in an affair demonstrate questionable moral compasses, and focusing on revenge or public shaming only prolongs your pain. As we say, "every dog has its day" and "the chickens always come home to roost"—karma has its own timeline.

Throughout the episode, we balance practical wisdom with humor (including a brief detour about the merits of White Claw as a responsible parenting beverage choice). Whether you're navigating a difficult breakup or healing from betrayal, our straightforward advice reminds you to trust your instincts and surround yourself with people who share your values. Join our community where we tackle dating's toughest questions with honesty, empathy, and a healthy dose of reality.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Fitting Daycare, where we help you
navigate through the jungle,jerks.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
We're back.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Grab your wine, grab your snack.
We are doing a fishbowl.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
A fan favorite yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or if you're a little basic,get yeah, yeah.
Or if you're a little basic,get a white claw, but um I love
a white claw.
I and they're low carb and low,show you gotta suffer sometimes
okay sometimes you have tosuffer for the greater good.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Okay, all right all right if you're in the backyard
and you got the kids.
A white claw is like a minibuzz, but a safe buzz where
you're still capable offunctioning.
Still right.
I love a white claw like if I'mlaying out by the pool, all
right.
So fishbowl we.
Real questions, hi scotty, forreal women uh, we have.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Sorry, I'm like responding to the tiktok, so if
you hear me talking to randompeople, tiktok, but real women,
real questions.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
We pick them out of our fishbowl and we read them to
you.
We try and help.
That's what we do here.
We're here to help ladiesaltruistic bunch okay so need
advice.
So I've been dating this guymore a few months now, okay, so

(01:27):
she's been dating him a littlemore.
He has been nothing but niceand hasn't done anything wrong.
He treats me well, however,there's always a however.
I just don't see a future withhim.
I feel like we have differentopinions on stuff and the spark
just isn't there anymore.
I feel guilty breaking up withhim because he hasn't done

(01:47):
anything wrong in parentheses,but I just don't see the
relationship going far.
How do I end things with himwithout breaking his heart and
but having any valid reasonsother than my gut?
You don't.
Your gut's good enough.
Keep your standards, keep yourboundaries and listen.
This is a hard situationbecause we're all out there,

(02:09):
right?
We're all out there in the sea,treading water at best.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
But that's the risk you take when you're dating.
There's always a chance thatyou're gonna get your heart
broken.
You can't prevent that.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
You just have to do it in the gentlest way possible
well, she's concerned aboutbreaking his heart because she
said there's nothing wrong withhim, he's basically a great guy.
But I'm just there.
We have different opinions ondifferent things.
The spark isn't there anymoreand she feels guilty giving up a
good guy even though the goodguy isn't for her.
And I get this because, like Isaid, we'reading water, there

(02:43):
aren't a lot of good guys outthere.
But that doesn't mean that youlower your standards, your
morals, because you're going tohate this guy In eight months if
your opinions are differentyou're going to resent them and
you're going to be disgusted.
You're not going to want to havesex with them and that's going

(03:04):
to be the, as adults we do ittoo, so right.
As adults, we are allowed tosay you know what?
You're a great person.
You're just not for me.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, that's it.
That's it Right and it's gooddating karma to just 100% you
don't lead people on, Plenty ofmen.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Do that all the time Like remember our last fishbowl
she was dating him seven years.
I mean talk about leading on.
Oh my Lord, all right, let'sget another one.
I'm going to dig deep.
I'm really going to try myhardest to dig deep.
Get a good one, I'm trying, allright.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Oh God, this is a tome, oh God.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Wait a minute, okay.
The amount of women in here Nowremember, I get these off of
different sites, differentsocial media sites, so it's a
group the amount of women inhere that say she owes you
nothing he does in regards tocheating husbands, wives, et
cetera, drives me nuts.
Everyone deserves respect andif these women knowingly have an

(04:18):
affair with a married man, theyneed to be called out of if so
and respect goes both ways.
They don't owe you the sameloyalty as a spouse, but they
owe you the respect of humanbeing and owe your children, if
you have them, respect as well.
I kind of feel like this is anew meta of women.

(04:39):
Saying she owes you nothing isbecause some of you are the ones
that are cheating with marriedmen and you don't want to be
called out when you're caught.
Just had to get that off mychest.
Don't want to be called outwhen you're caught, just had to
get that off my chest.
So what's our opinion on this?
This is a big thing, becauselet me tell you something I
always say this, ladies andgents when I'm out there in the
wild, 90% of the men that hit onme are married, and we all know

(05:03):
, if you're fans here at DatingDaycare, that I do not.
It is a boundary, it is astipulation.
I do not.
It is a boundary, it is astipulation.
I do not date married men.
I don't care if you're JasonMomoa, bill Gates, who's Amazon
guy, jeff Bezos, couldn't care.
I don't date you.
Bad karma.
I agree with this woman, but Idon't get myself into those
situations.
But I know plenty of my friendsthat have dated married men.

(05:26):
Really, yes, were they married?
They were single.
Okay.
But listen, this is my opinion.
You're dealing with two peoplewithout a moral compass, and I
always come back to this moralcompass.
You're not changing people'smoral compass.
So your husband, if this isyour husband and he's cheating

(05:49):
on you, has a horrific moralcompass.
So your husband, if this isyour husband and he's cheating
on you, has a horrific moralcompass and no balls.
Because I always say you couldnot be happy in a marriage.
I wasn't happy.
I wasn't married, as we allknow.
But I was with my partner foreight, nine years.
I wasn't happy.
I said leave, this isn'tworking.
Leave, I didn't go cheat, havehim find out, this isn't working
.
Leave I didn't go cheat, havehim find out and then leave Like

(06:11):
you can leave anytime you want.
Just say it.
Get a divorce, hire a lawyerand get some papers.
So the men that do that have noballs.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, she's saying, call out the women too.
But I mean, yeah, but you'renot married to them.
You took the man, took the oath, yes, so just let it go.
Not married to them you're,you're.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
You took the man, took the oath, yes, right, so
just, and the woman that he'sand you know what, and the woman
that he's cheating you on youwith has no moral compass either
.
So you got two people with nomoral compass.
They deserve each other, and ifthe new girl thinks that he's
not going to cheat on her, whenhe gets sick of her.
That's a whole nother episode.
I mean, it sounds like thiswoman probably got cheated on

(06:54):
and she just wishes she said shedidn't and no I haven't been
cheated on vice versa but I feellike those of you that have
been deserve retribution, if youchoose.
That was the kind of where shewas getting at like she would
love to have this woman likepublicly outed and whipped or
something right like, like amaid's tail, yeah right, yes, uh

(07:15):
, but yeah, no, but it doesn'thappen on just move on yeah, you
know well, when you find outyour husband cheats on you, it's
hard to move on, I know.
But just I mean to have.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
You know, of course, allow yourself to feel those
things, but you, if you kind ofmarinate in that for too long,
it it it starts to manifest yeah, like, uh, absolutely jades you
toxicity right kind of right.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Just keep your own moral compass and date people
that have the same moral compassas you, and you'll be fine
that's that right yeah yeah, Imean, everybody gets their karma
.
I say that every dog has itsday oh, just like remember.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
We had that guy on earlier where he cheated on his
first wife and then he wound upgetting cheated on by the second
.
It comes back it does took awhile.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
As they say in the wolf of wall street, the
chickens will come home to roost.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, all on their own.
So, don't you worry.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
That word of advice is from the Duchess of Bay Ridge
Straight to you.
Okay, well, thank you forjoining our fishbowl.
We hope we helped and we willtalk to you soon.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Thank you Bye.