January 15, 2025 • 18 mins
What if the person showering you with love and future promises suddenly disappears? Join us as we uncover the unsettling experience of love bombing through an anonymous listener's tale. We'll guide you through identifying the red flags in early-stage relationships, like excessive contact and premature future talk, to help you maintain your independence and a healthy pace. Learn why it's crucial to take your time truly understanding someone through shared experiences, both joyous and challenging, before getting swept away by grand declarations.
In a world where personal safety often feels compromised, we highlight the importance of setting communication boundaries and prioritizing safety when navigating new relationships. Discover why meeting new dates in public places and refraining from sharing too much too soon can protect your well-being. We'll also revisit the concept of love bombing, where initial perfection might be a facade, and emphasize the value of realistic expectations and measured communication. Tune in for practical advice on fostering authentic and sustainable connections without losing yourself in the process.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Dating Daycare, where we help you
navigate through the jungle ofjerks Another day, another
episode, Allison.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yeah, this is our favorite.
We love this, don't we?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Ah, we have the fishbowl.
So those of you that do notknow, you're probably sick of
hearing me explain it, but I'mgonna do it again.
So with our fishbowl we havereal questions, real concerns,
real problems, real issues fromreal women that I get off of
different social media groups.
I print them out anonymouslyand we put them into our
(00:45):
fishbowl to try and help you,because we figure, if you're
asking strangers on the internet, you might as well ask us.
So here we go.
I'm going to pick.
This time I am going to reachdeep.
I hope I get a good one.
Allison's looking if it's along one.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
She hates the long one.
Oh no, it's a short one, okaygood.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
All right, let's see.
Was talking to seeing somebodyfor a month who literally saw me
every day, spoke to me everyday, spoke all about the things
we were going to do in thefuture, and then did a complete
180 and disappeared, pretendedto really like me, just to leave
(01:29):
.
I'm having a really hard timegetting over it.
I know it sounds ridiculous,only being a month long.
Any advice this is a perfectlove bomb.
Oh yeah, happens all the time.
Anonymous viewer, so don'tthink you're ridiculous.
We love all questions andthat's why I print all of these
out and put them in becauseshe's hurt.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I mean, we've all been there, but I hope we've
learned.
You know what?
I haven't been there.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
No, this is one scenario I haven't been in, but
you know why?
Only because I don't knowwhether that's type A or type B.
I'm bad with that stuff whensomeone comes on too strong too
soon.
I've always seen that as a redflag, Like it's always made me
(02:19):
uncomfortable because it's notnatural for me.
And since it was never naturalfor me, I pushed it away, so
this never happened to me.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
When I was young.
But yeah, that's generally.
It's not healthy to be talkingto someone every single day in
the early day and just likehours on end seeing every day
too.
Is that what she said?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, talking and seeing someone for a month, who
literally saw me every day,spoke to me every day and spoke
about the things they were goingto do in the future.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I just don't think there's much to say here
other than you just have tomaintain your independence.
You just have to maintain yourindependence If you want this to
go anywhere.
You have the best chance of itgoing somewhere just doing what
you normally do and then meetingand getting together speaking.
But you can't be intermingledto this degree so early on.
(03:21):
It's just not.
It's a recipe for disaster.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, but I also think that there are a lot of
red flags here.
I think that seeing somebodyevery day and talking to
somebody every day and talkingabout the future within a month,
those are three red flags rightthere.
So, ladies, this is what wecall love bombing.
Okay, it may happen in a month,it may happen in two months, it
(03:47):
may happen in three months, butthe red flags are when you
first start dating somebody.
You should be talking to them,I don't know, twice a week.
Little text here and there howwas your day?
What are are you doing?
Are we still on for fridaynight date?
(04:07):
You should be having a date oncea week, especially if there are
no kids involved.
If you are single, not married,and have no children, you
should be going on a date once aweek for the first month.
Yeah, then, once you get andthen talking, you go on a date
on Friday, maybe texting.
(04:29):
I got home safe Friday night.
A little text good night, thankyou for the date.
Maybe on Sunday how was yourweekend?
Maybe then on Wednesday he'scontacting you, planning another
date for Saturday.
So that's how that should begoing.
Any more than that is excessive.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
It's not healthy.
People are afraid, I feelespecially women are afraid, if
they don't have this dailyinteraction with a man, that
they're going to lose them.
They're going to be findinganother woman.
It's just not healthy behaviorand it's not conducive to
(05:10):
setting up a relationship that'sgoing to be lasting.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes.
Also, ladies, if the man istalking in the first three
months about any type of future,with you red flag, huge red
flag, you do not know a person.
I'm gonna say six months to ayear At least, six at least, to
(05:40):
really know how are they whenthey have a good day, how are
they when they have a bad day,how are they when they have a
catastrophic event happen,because you know what that's the
importance of a man and how heto me at least-.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Steps up during a time of difficulty.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yes, people deal with difficulty all different ways.
Do they have depression?
Are they on medication?
Do they run away?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Do they?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
rage.
Do they run away and sticktheir head in the sand?
What do they do?
Do they self-sabotage?
There's a million differentways to deal through life and
you are never going to know thatfor at least a year, so you
should not be making any crazyplans for at least a year of
(06:30):
knowing somebody.
I also think it's.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I've found that it's common and I don't think it's
abnormal for guys to kind offuture talk but you just let it
go in one ear, out the other.
Don't take it seriously.
The amount of trips that I'vebeen, guys have talked to me
about going on that I've neverbeen on.
I mean, I think it's from whatI understand, from a
psychological viewpoint it's notabnormal.
(06:54):
But don't put any credence toit.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And I would say that it's not abnormal.
But I feel it's not abnormalbecause us the women sit there
and listen to it and let it goin one ear and out the other, or
they actually believe it andtake it seriously.
Let me tell you something If Imeet a guy and within the first
(07:19):
month he's you know, I don'thave a problem with what's your
favorite vacation that you wenton.
Where would you love to goagain If you could travel?
Those are all normal questionsand I have answers for all of
them.
But when you're sitting acrossfrom me within the first month
of knowing you and you say youknow what One of your favorite
(07:41):
places was Italy.
You know what One of yourfavorite places was Italy.
I'm going to take you to Italynext month.
Or for your birthday next year,I'm going to take you to Italy.
I turn around to the man and Isay no, you're not Like.
No, you're not Like.
First of all, I don't even knowwho you are.
If you're a mass murderer andI'm going to go away with you to
(08:05):
where somebody can never findme again, like if you and I call
it out, I call it out because Ican't handle the stupidity.
So, ladies, if you're confusedof whether it's appropriate or
not, you need to think aboutyour safety and think to
yourself.
And that goes with anything,even a first date.
(08:27):
If a guy is like I'll come pickyou up, I say no, you're not.
I live in a house with two kidsand even if I didn't have kids
and lived in that house alone no, you're not.
I don't know if you're apsychopath.
I don't know if you're a massmurderer, a rapist or just
somebody that's going to stalkme for the rest of my life.
I am not going to casually showyou where to do that, my home,
(08:52):
and how to get there.
It's not going to happen.
Same on the flip side, ladies.
Here's another good pin ofadvice when a man says to you,
when you first go on a date witha man, and he says to you
what's your perfect man If youcould?
(09:14):
Weird science if you're olderand you're my age and you know
the movie Weird Science it's forall of you youngins out there.
It is a movie where theyliterally ripped out pictures of
girls in magazines, fed themthrough the computer and then
the girl appeared in theircloset.
I believe it was.
So if a guy ever says to me,what's your perfect?
What would be your perfect guyif you could create one, I don't
(09:37):
answer that fucking question togive you all the love, bombing
and crazy scenarios so that youcould copy them and not be
yourself.
And then, six months later,find out.
This is when you ladies writeinto us and say but he was the
perfect guy for the first sixmonths and then he just
(09:59):
completely changed in dinner 180.
I don't understand how or why.
Well, that's because he askedyou a question like this.
He got all the answers, wasable to keep it up for six
months and then turned into whohe really was before you gave it
all away.
So don't be sitting there, lady, saying, oh my God, he'd take
me out to dinner every weekendand he'd be creative and send me
(10:24):
outfits Like I could weirdscience you in any minute.
But I'm gonna tell Allison, I'mnot gonna tell the nude guy
that wants to take me out on adate.
So just remember your safetycomes first.
Is this safe, would I feel?
Is this normal?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
No, if the answer's no, then it's a love bombing
situation or they just could bedoing what they think is a
gentlemanly act by offering topick you up, which I normally
would appreciate down the road,and I would just say thank you,
I would say you know, that'sreally sweet, thank you, that's
very gentlemanly, that'ssomething that I'd like down the
road and I would just say thankhim.
I would say you know, that'sreally sweet, thank you, that's
very gentlemanly.
(11:05):
That's something that I'd likein the future.
I'd feel more comfortable for afirst date just meeting there.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And then, just to get to theend of this, she said.
Then, after the month of love,bombing and talking every day
and seeing every day, he did acomplete 180 on me and ghosted
me and I never heard from himagain.
You know why?
Because he found something hedidn't like, obviously, and was
(11:36):
either turned off by it, wasn'tfor him, didn't like it.
But now it seemed harsh andridiculous because you were
hanging out so much, seeing andtalking to him, he couldn't
possibly get to know you in amonth.
(11:57):
But since you were so hot andheavy and did all these things,
when the thing came up that hedidn't like or wasn't for him,
he said oh shit, how am Igetting out of this now?
I slept with her 30 times.
I saw her 30 times because amonth has 30 days.
(12:18):
I talked to her 28 out of the30 days.
She's attached to me andtexting me every day and
expecting to see me today, butthis just turned me off and
she's not for me.
Now what do I do?
How do I tell her?
This is going to seem crazy andthey ghost because they're in
(12:38):
an awkward predicament now andthat's why anonymous person that
he ghosted and it seems verydrastic and hurtful because you
think in a month's time this guyloved absolutely everything
about you.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
He just loved the fantasy of you, correct?
And when reality came knockingon the door.
He didn't like her so much.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Correct.
Correct and not saying that shedid anything wrong.
That's normal to act the wayyou're going to act and say the
things you're going to say, andnew stuff come up Month three,
month, four month, five month,six up.
That's why I say six months toa year.
So slow it down.
Okay, ladies, slow it down.
(13:25):
All right, put the stopper onOne time a week, at least for
the first month.
Then when you get past that,you contact us and we'll tell
you where to go from there ifyou're unsure.
Yeah, no multiple dates a weekand no like text if you're
texting with a new guy the wayyou text with your girlfriends
(13:46):
just now no no texting all day,no need no, and you know what,
if he is going to text you everyday, shouldn't be every day,
because you should be too busyfor that, but these should be
lighthearted texts.
Yeah, how was your hope?
You're having a great week.
See you Friday.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Or send a meme or something and just be like, hey,
busy, I'll see you Friday whenwe meet Saturday.
You definitely should behearing from them by.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Wednesday.
Okay, to confirm the date.
That's not acceptable.
Now, the opposite of what wejust discussed is not acceptable
either.
You don't make the date forFriday and contact you Thursday
night or Friday morning orafternoon for Friday night Date
(14:34):
is canceled.
Sorry, I didn't hear from you.
I made other plans.
I didn't hear from you, Ididn't know what was going on
and it's not your job.
There's another thing I hear alot to contact him to confirm
the date.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
He is the man I don't like to be the social secretary
secretary no, I know somepeople say, oh, there's nothing
wrong with me.
The most I would do, wouldmaybe be like hey, looking
forward to seeing you later heshould be doing I know, I don't
even.
That's not my favorite thing todo, but a lot of.
There are a lot of peep datingcoaches out there who say, like
(15:08):
it's, there's nothing wrong withthe woman reaching out to
confirm.
I don't, really not for thefirst, second, third to confirm?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I don't, really Not for the first, second, third and
fourth date.
I don't believe for the firstmonth after you get into it and
you're like going somewhere,maybe for the weekend or
whatever, to say, hey, we'restill on for that.
If you weren't sure, if you hadwork something come up or there
was a discrepancy in the plans,then All right.
After the first month of dating, he should be making the date,
(15:37):
planning the date, confirmingthe date and meeting you on the
date and paying for the date.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No, I agree, but what ?
One thing that I found thatI've done that has helped me a
bit is to set the expectation,or just let him know that I like
a confirmation prior to thedate and that kind of.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
See, but you know what?
See, I'm hard ladies.
Ooh, am I hard.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
That annoys me, it does annoy me too, Because at
our age if he can't do it on hisown.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Confirm a date.
I confirm everything.
I confirm our podcast tapingswith our producer.
I confirm when I get ababysitter.
Are you coming tomorrow at 10?
I confirm work engagements.
I confirmed our guest Brenda aweek prior and then two days
prior.
(16:26):
I confirm everything prettymuch in my life.
If he can't confirm a date thathe's supposed to be excited
about, I can't imagine what therest of his professional life
looks like.
And I don't want to know and Idon't want to know that if they
don't confirm, they don't getthe date with me and I move on
(16:47):
to the next guy.
That's like the first test, andif we make it past past that,
then we go to the next one.
I never do that I never do thatbecause I feel like if they
can't, we got a problem, houston, we have a problem.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, I just yeah, stop doing that yeah, okay, stop
doing it and see.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I bet you'll alleviate a lot of dick in the
wings.
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I really don't.
I only did that a few timesbecause I felt I was being too
harsh.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
And what happened?
Wait, I want to know whathappened.
Was their follow throughatrocious?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
No, it was fine, but they did not wind up being it.
But you know Right, so youcould alleviate all that stress.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Anywho.
All right, ladies.
So that was our fishbowlepisode of the week.
We hope you enjoyed it.
We try to reach out and get youknow every little aspect of a
fishbowl question and we branchoff.
If you have any questions orconcerns, please PM, dm, write
us, get in touch with us andwe'll see you next time.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Thank you for listening.
Thank you Bye.
Welcome to Dating Daycare, where we help you
navigate through the jungle ofjerks Another day, another
episode, Allison.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yeah, this is our favorite.
We love this, don't we?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Ah, we have the fishbowl.
So those of you that do notknow, you're probably sick of
hearing me explain it, but I'mgonna do it again.
So with our fishbowl we havereal questions, real concerns,
real problems, real issues fromreal women that I get off of
different social media groups.
I print them out anonymouslyand we put them into our
(00:45):
fishbowl to try and help you,because we figure, if you're
asking strangers on the internet, you might as well ask us.
So here we go.
I'm going to pick.
This time I am going to reachdeep.
I hope I get a good one.
Allison's looking if it's along one.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
She hates the long one.
Oh no, it's a short one, okaygood.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
All right, let's see.
Was talking to seeing somebodyfor a month who literally saw me
every day, spoke to me everyday, spoke all about the things
we were going to do in thefuture, and then did a complete
180 and disappeared, pretendedto really like me, just to leave
(01:29):
.
I'm having a really hard timegetting over it.
I know it sounds ridiculous,only being a month long.
Any advice this is a perfectlove bomb.
Oh yeah, happens all the time.
Anonymous viewer, so don'tthink you're ridiculous.
We love all questions andthat's why I print all of these
out and put them in becauseshe's hurt.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I mean, we've all been there, but I hope we've
learned.
You know what?
I haven't been there.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
No, this is one scenario I haven't been in, but
you know why?
Only because I don't knowwhether that's type A or type B.
I'm bad with that stuff whensomeone comes on too strong too
soon.
I've always seen that as a redflag, Like it's always made me
(02:19):
uncomfortable because it's notnatural for me.
And since it was never naturalfor me, I pushed it away, so
this never happened to me.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
When I was young.
But yeah, that's generally.
It's not healthy to be talkingto someone every single day in
the early day and just likehours on end seeing every day
too.
Is that what she said?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, talking and seeing someone for a month, who
literally saw me every day,spoke to me every day and spoke
about the things they were goingto do in the future.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I just don't think there's much to say here
other than you just have tomaintain your independence.
You just have to maintain yourindependence If you want this to
go anywhere.
You have the best chance of itgoing somewhere just doing what
you normally do and then meetingand getting together speaking.
But you can't be intermingledto this degree so early on.
(03:21):
It's just not.
It's a recipe for disaster.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, but I also think that there are a lot of
red flags here.
I think that seeing somebodyevery day and talking to
somebody every day and talkingabout the future within a month,
those are three red flags rightthere.
So, ladies, this is what wecall love bombing.
Okay, it may happen in a month,it may happen in two months, it
(03:47):
may happen in three months, butthe red flags are when you
first start dating somebody.
You should be talking to them,I don't know, twice a week.
Little text here and there howwas your day?
What are are you doing?
Are we still on for fridaynight date?
(04:07):
You should be having a date oncea week, especially if there are
no kids involved.
If you are single, not married,and have no children, you
should be going on a date once aweek for the first month.
Yeah, then, once you get andthen talking, you go on a date
on Friday, maybe texting.
(04:29):
I got home safe Friday night.
A little text good night, thankyou for the date.
Maybe on Sunday how was yourweekend?
Maybe then on Wednesday he'scontacting you, planning another
date for Saturday.
So that's how that should begoing.
Any more than that is excessive.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
It's not healthy.
People are afraid, I feelespecially women are afraid, if
they don't have this dailyinteraction with a man, that
they're going to lose them.
They're going to be findinganother woman.
It's just not healthy behaviorand it's not conducive to
(05:10):
setting up a relationship that'sgoing to be lasting.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes.
Also, ladies, if the man istalking in the first three
months about any type of future,with you red flag, huge red
flag, you do not know a person.
I'm gonna say six months to ayear At least, six at least, to
(05:40):
really know how are they whenthey have a good day, how are
they when they have a bad day,how are they when they have a
catastrophic event happen,because you know what that's the
importance of a man and how heto me at least-.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Steps up during a time of difficulty.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yes, people deal with difficulty all different ways.
Do they have depression?
Are they on medication?
Do they run away?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Do they?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
rage.
Do they run away and sticktheir head in the sand?
What do they do?
Do they self-sabotage?
There's a million differentways to deal through life and
you are never going to know thatfor at least a year, so you
should not be making any crazyplans for at least a year of
(06:30):
knowing somebody.
I also think it's.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I've found that it's common and I don't think it's
abnormal for guys to kind offuture talk but you just let it
go in one ear, out the other.
Don't take it seriously.
The amount of trips that I'vebeen, guys have talked to me
about going on that I've neverbeen on.
I mean, I think it's from whatI understand, from a
psychological viewpoint it's notabnormal.
(06:54):
But don't put any credence toit.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And I would say that it's not abnormal.
But I feel it's not abnormalbecause us the women sit there
and listen to it and let it goin one ear and out the other, or
they actually believe it andtake it seriously.
Let me tell you something If Imeet a guy and within the first
(07:19):
month he's you know, I don'thave a problem with what's your
favorite vacation that you wenton.
Where would you love to goagain If you could travel?
Those are all normal questionsand I have answers for all of
them.
But when you're sitting acrossfrom me within the first month
of knowing you and you say youknow what One of your favorite
(07:41):
places was Italy.
You know what One of yourfavorite places was Italy.
I'm going to take you to Italynext month.
Or for your birthday next year,I'm going to take you to Italy.
I turn around to the man and Isay no, you're not Like.
No, you're not Like.
First of all, I don't even knowwho you are.
If you're a mass murderer andI'm going to go away with you to
(08:05):
where somebody can never findme again, like if you and I call
it out, I call it out because Ican't handle the stupidity.
So, ladies, if you're confusedof whether it's appropriate or
not, you need to think aboutyour safety and think to
yourself.
And that goes with anything,even a first date.
(08:27):
If a guy is like I'll come pickyou up, I say no, you're not.
I live in a house with two kidsand even if I didn't have kids
and lived in that house alone no, you're not.
I don't know if you're apsychopath.
I don't know if you're a massmurderer, a rapist or just
somebody that's going to stalkme for the rest of my life.
I am not going to casually showyou where to do that, my home,
(08:52):
and how to get there.
It's not going to happen.
Same on the flip side, ladies.
Here's another good pin ofadvice when a man says to you,
when you first go on a date witha man, and he says to you
what's your perfect man If youcould?
(09:14):
Weird science if you're olderand you're my age and you know
the movie Weird Science it's forall of you youngins out there.
It is a movie where theyliterally ripped out pictures of
girls in magazines, fed themthrough the computer and then
the girl appeared in theircloset.
I believe it was.
So if a guy ever says to me,what's your perfect?
What would be your perfect guyif you could create one, I don't
(09:37):
answer that fucking question togive you all the love, bombing
and crazy scenarios so that youcould copy them and not be
yourself.
And then, six months later,find out.
This is when you ladies writeinto us and say but he was the
perfect guy for the first sixmonths and then he just
(09:59):
completely changed in dinner 180.
I don't understand how or why.
Well, that's because he askedyou a question like this.
He got all the answers, wasable to keep it up for six
months and then turned into whohe really was before you gave it
all away.
So don't be sitting there, lady, saying, oh my God, he'd take
me out to dinner every weekendand he'd be creative and send me
(10:24):
outfits Like I could weirdscience you in any minute.
But I'm gonna tell Allison, I'mnot gonna tell the nude guy
that wants to take me out on adate.
So just remember your safetycomes first.
Is this safe, would I feel?
Is this normal?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
No, if the answer's no, then it's a love bombing
situation or they just could bedoing what they think is a
gentlemanly act by offering topick you up, which I normally
would appreciate down the road,and I would just say thank you,
I would say you know, that'sreally sweet, thank you, that's
very gentlemanly, that'ssomething that I'd like down the
road and I would just say thankhim.
I would say you know, that'sreally sweet, thank you, that's
very gentlemanly.
(11:05):
That's something that I'd likein the future.
I'd feel more comfortable for afirst date just meeting there.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And then, just to get to theend of this, she said.
Then, after the month of love,bombing and talking every day
and seeing every day, he did acomplete 180 on me and ghosted
me and I never heard from himagain.
You know why?
Because he found something hedidn't like, obviously, and was
(11:36):
either turned off by it, wasn'tfor him, didn't like it.
But now it seemed harsh andridiculous because you were
hanging out so much, seeing andtalking to him, he couldn't
possibly get to know you in amonth.
(11:57):
But since you were so hot andheavy and did all these things,
when the thing came up that hedidn't like or wasn't for him,
he said oh shit, how am Igetting out of this now?
I slept with her 30 times.
I saw her 30 times because amonth has 30 days.
(12:18):
I talked to her 28 out of the30 days.
She's attached to me andtexting me every day and
expecting to see me today, butthis just turned me off and
she's not for me.
Now what do I do?
How do I tell her?
This is going to seem crazy andthey ghost because they're in
(12:38):
an awkward predicament now andthat's why anonymous person that
he ghosted and it seems verydrastic and hurtful because you
think in a month's time this guyloved absolutely everything
about you.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
He just loved the fantasy of you, correct?
And when reality came knockingon the door.
He didn't like her so much.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Correct.
Correct and not saying that shedid anything wrong.
That's normal to act the wayyou're going to act and say the
things you're going to say, andnew stuff come up Month three,
month, four month, five month,six up.
That's why I say six months toa year.
So slow it down.
Okay, ladies, slow it down.
(13:25):
All right, put the stopper onOne time a week, at least for
the first month.
Then when you get past that,you contact us and we'll tell
you where to go from there ifyou're unsure.
Yeah, no multiple dates a weekand no like text if you're
texting with a new guy the wayyou text with your girlfriends
(13:46):
just now no no texting all day,no need no, and you know what,
if he is going to text you everyday, shouldn't be every day,
because you should be too busyfor that, but these should be
lighthearted texts.
Yeah, how was your hope?
You're having a great week.
See you Friday.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Or send a meme or something and just be like, hey,
busy, I'll see you Friday whenwe meet Saturday.
You definitely should behearing from them by.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Wednesday.
Okay, to confirm the date.
That's not acceptable.
Now, the opposite of what wejust discussed is not acceptable
either.
You don't make the date forFriday and contact you Thursday
night or Friday morning orafternoon for Friday night Date
(14:34):
is canceled.
Sorry, I didn't hear from you.
I made other plans.
I didn't hear from you, Ididn't know what was going on
and it's not your job.
There's another thing I hear alot to contact him to confirm
the date.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
He is the man I don't like to be the social secretary
secretary no, I know somepeople say, oh, there's nothing
wrong with me.
The most I would do, wouldmaybe be like hey, looking
forward to seeing you later heshould be doing I know, I don't
even.
That's not my favorite thing todo, but a lot of.
There are a lot of peep datingcoaches out there who say, like
(15:08):
it's, there's nothing wrong withthe woman reaching out to
confirm.
I don't, really not for thefirst, second, third to confirm?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I don't, really Not for the first, second, third and
fourth date.
I don't believe for the firstmonth after you get into it and
you're like going somewhere,maybe for the weekend or
whatever, to say, hey, we'restill on for that.
If you weren't sure, if you hadwork something come up or there
was a discrepancy in the plans,then All right.
After the first month of dating, he should be making the date,
(15:37):
planning the date, confirmingthe date and meeting you on the
date and paying for the date.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No, I agree, but what ?
One thing that I found thatI've done that has helped me a
bit is to set the expectation,or just let him know that I like
a confirmation prior to thedate and that kind of.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
See, but you know what?
See, I'm hard ladies.
Ooh, am I hard.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
That annoys me, it does annoy me too, Because at
our age if he can't do it on hisown.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Confirm a date.
I confirm everything.
I confirm our podcast tapingswith our producer.
I confirm when I get ababysitter.
Are you coming tomorrow at 10?
I confirm work engagements.
I confirmed our guest Brenda aweek prior and then two days
prior.
(16:26):
I confirm everything prettymuch in my life.
If he can't confirm a date thathe's supposed to be excited
about, I can't imagine what therest of his professional life
looks like.
And I don't want to know and Idon't want to know that if they
don't confirm, they don't getthe date with me and I move on
(16:47):
to the next guy.
That's like the first test, andif we make it past past that,
then we go to the next one.
I never do that I never do thatbecause I feel like if they
can't, we got a problem, houston, we have a problem.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, I just yeah, stop doing that yeah, okay, stop
doing it and see.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I bet you'll alleviate a lot of dick in the
wings.
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I really don't.
I only did that a few timesbecause I felt I was being too
harsh.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
And what happened?
Wait, I want to know whathappened.
Was their follow throughatrocious?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
No, it was fine, but they did not wind up being it.
But you know Right, so youcould alleviate all that stress.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Anywho.
All right, ladies.
So that was our fishbowlepisode of the week.
We hope you enjoyed it.
We try to reach out and get youknow every little aspect of a
fishbowl question and we branchoff.
If you have any questions orconcerns, please PM, dm, write
us, get in touch with us andwe'll see you next time.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Thank you for listening.
Thank you Bye.
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