Are you stuck in a toxic relationship? In this episode, we address powerful stories from listeners, discussing the struggles of emotional abuse and dependency. It’s a relatable topic that many face. We dive deep into how financial independence and supportive networks are essential for anyone feeling trapped in a negative relationship cycle.
Listen as we review real questions from our fishbowl segment, sparking a rich discussion about reclaiming one’s freedom. We outline practical advice on how to establish financial security and create support systems—emphasizing that it’s crucial for every woman to have a safety net in case life takes an unexpected turn.
In the second half of our show, we explore resources relevant to anyone needing to break away from a harmful situation. We stand firmly on the belief that everyone deserves to feel safe and valued; thus seeking help and guidance can be your first step into a brighter future.
Whether you're seeking advice or simply curious, tune in and explore the steps for empowerment and support. Join our community and embark on your journey toward healing and happiness. Remember, your voice matters. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need help. Subscribe, share, and leave us a review to help spread awareness!
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Episode Transcript
Welcome to Dating Daycare.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Another episode, another day Allison, where we
help you navigate through thejungle of jerks out there,
ladies, and we have ourhistorical fishbowl episode
coming up to you today, but alittle bit different, because we
decided to do a TikTok livewhich is on our big screen over
(00:32):
here.
That way people can comment.
So we're going to read ourfishbowl, as we always do real
questions from real women andmen that I pull from social
media and we're going to helpyou answer them and then we're
going to try to get some of ourlive viewers to chime in.
So, live viewers, if you're outthere and you're watching us on
(00:53):
TikTok, please stay on, becausewhen we are done reading our
fishbowl, which Allison's goingto do today, oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
We want you to comment All right, so this is
from a bad today.
Oh, thank you.
We want you to comment Allright, so this is from a bad mom
.
Bad mom.
I want to leave my husband butI can't.
I'm fully dependent on him inevery way.
I don't have anyone I couldrely on.
I've been with him since I was18.
I've never had a real job otherthan under-the-table restaurant
(01:24):
jobs.
I have nothing, but I need toleave him.
He treats me like shit anddoesn't appreciate anything I do
.
I've changed everything aboutme to make our relationship
better.
Our life was, and nothing haschanged.
We stay together for ourdaughter and that's it.
The bad outweighs the good.
(01:45):
The fights are getting worse.
I'm afraid he's going to getphysical.
Okay, there's zero intimacy.
I've caught him trying to cheatand using OnlyFans.
I've even found myself temptedto cheat simply for the sake of
feeling wanted and appreciated.
I don't even know the firststep in trying to leave him.
(02:07):
This sounds probably likesomething many, many women go
through yes, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
And what's your advice?
Um let me pass it over again.
We gotta look at it.
I have a little bit of advicefor the first.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I mean, I wish there was a little more context.
I wish I could know how old shewas, but what you know um first
of all, ladies, never I alwayssay this like never be-
financially financiallydependent dependent on a man you
have to have your rainy dayfund stashed away Right.
(02:46):
Completely separate, never.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Because that is what is preventing her solely from
leaving.
If she had a career, if she hadmoney stashed away, if she had
family.
Listen, there are times you canbe dependent on a man, but you
have to know that you could getback out there in the work field
if need be, or move in withyour parents, if need be.
(03:11):
There has to be some sort of outfor you.
You never know where arelationship is going to take
you.
Today.
It's good, right, we all getmarried or have kids with
somebody nowadays.
That we think is going to begood.
We don't say, oh, let me walkdown the aisle, knowing it's
going to be shitty in five years.
(03:31):
And it turns that way.
For what's the percentage ofthe divorce?
rate 54 at least I think it'smore now.
So when you walk down thataisle, if you decide to stay
home and raise your children,you damn well better make sure
that you have some sort of outRight.
If you have no family, nocareer, no job, no savings,
you're setting yourself up for ahorrible, horrible situation.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
And the child is seeing the fights.
I'm sure I mean whether or notyou think she is.
She is and she's internalizingthat and she's going to reenact
this dynamic later.
You know, it's just not good.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
It's not healthy.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Tit for tat cheating.
No, just don't even go thereright now.
You're not in any place to beengaging with someone else.
Just the first step is to getout of there.
Someone on Tiki Taki Zippy saidturn to the family if she can.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
If not buy a cheesecake and eat the whole
thing In one sitting, it helps.
It does help for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Turn to the family if she can, If not buy a
cheesecake and eat the wholething and one sitting it helps,
it does help.
It does help for a minute.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah, but that, like I said, you know, if you're
going to give up yourindependence, so to say, to stay
home and raise your kids, whichI like I love that idea.
I think it's important for amom to be around.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
At least for those crucial few years.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I think that's wonderful, but you need to set
up your life so that you arealways protected.
I always say this to womenAlways protect yourself, because
you never know what is going tohappen.
And this even goes for we werejust talking about this all the
new wave women with your great,huge careers and you go to buy
(05:12):
houses and then you go, you buya house, you meet a man and then
you put his name on the deed.
yeah, no, no right no, no, no noyeah always financially protect
yourself, because that is goingto be your freedom, no matter
what that's going to be yourfreedom, no matter what that's
going to be your freedom.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Whether you like it or not.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, whether you like it or not, that is the
person with the money determineswhere you and your children are
going to go.
You need a roof, you need food,you need clothing and you need
to get them to school.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I mean, if we're talking minimum, and I know I'm
sure she may be hesitant to well, it sounded like she feels she
doesn't really have anyone.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Well, she has no family, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I mean a friend, like a really close friend, even
just if you're crashing in thebasement or like whatever, just
super temporarily, until you geton your feet, and then you know
so.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Which is hard to do when you don't have a career.
Yeah, you know, unfortunatelyand I'm always the one that's
controversial here thisunfortunately I feel bad for her
.
This is one of the worstsituations you could ever put
yourself in as a woman no career, no family, no savings and
(06:30):
financially dependent on a man.
This is very hard to get out of.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Extremely hard.
Only fans, I mean honestly.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
But you don't have any savings, you don't have any
money coming in.
How could she even go to work,she said, under the table, as a
wait table restaurant job?
How are you even supposed toget daycare or sitting for your
child when you have no money tosee?
Now, if you had a bank accountand you had money for a rainy
(07:00):
day, you could say you know what?
I'm gonna hire somebody threedays a week, no matter what this
idiot says, and go back to workbut, you don't even have that
and she's kind of in a in a anabusive type situation.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Could she not go to like local shelters and look for
advice?
You need to go to your mother'shouse, wherever your family is
friend, best friend, family.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
You need to pick up with your child, leave and go to
a domestic violence shelterwhich we we've had on.
Please watch our episode it waswonderful and we had a
follow-up and there's allinformation on it and get
yourself out of this, all right.
All right, we'll see Now.
Does anybody have anything tosay?
(07:39):
We're going to go to our liveon TikTok and see Freepoy.
Do you have anything to say,zippy?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, he has some good comments here.
He said seriously toxicity doesnot get better.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
No, toxicity never gets better.
We also have a comment.
There are also outreachprograms in every city.
It is important to seek theseoutlets Absolutely.
I just said we have a domesticviolent shelter episode with all
the information about it.
If you're going through that,wear a shirt.
Blue collar Delancey joins.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Is Jessie still out there?
Jessie IE, which I think she'sa girl?
We need some-.
Octavia, what do you think?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Women chiming in please, yep, yep, yep.
And you know what?
Sometimes people just need toleave.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
that's my, you know people need to get out and go to
some of the shelters.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Diana's here hi, girl diana hi we're talking about
leaving uh toxic relationshipswith kids, yeah unhappy but, I
think those comments were great.
Yeah, and our live audience didwell, and our audience here.
We hope that that helped andthat you enjoyed our little mini
(08:53):
fishbowl episode.
We will be doing another soon.
I love when we pull thesequestions out and help people
that's why we're here.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Keep them coming.
Look at um our show notes onapple podcast to find out where
you can reach us with yourquestions.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yes, and we're here to help.
That's what we're here for.
Have a nice day, thank you, andwe will see you soon.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Bye.
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