Sex, Lies, and Busy Schedules

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Ever had a potential partner vanish with the "I'm too busy" excuse? You're not alone. 

In this candid fishbowl session, we dive deep into a listener's experience with a Hinge match who, after just three dates in a month, pulled the classic "right person, wrong time" card. While he claimed his busy work schedule was the culprit, we unpack what's really happening when someone uses this excuse.

The truth? When someone genuinely wants you, they make time—no matter how packed their schedule. We share why this fundamental principle matters so much in dating and why accepting the "busy" excuse sets a dangerous precedent for how you'll be treated throughout a relationship.

We also tackle the controversial but crucial topic of intimacy timing. Drawing from years of dating experience, we explain why waiting for exclusivity before becoming intimate can save you heartache and help identify partners who value you beyond physical connection. This strategy isn't about outdated morality but about understanding relationship psychology and protecting your emotional wellbeing.

Whether you're actively dating or taking a break from the scene, this episode offers practical wisdom for recognizing genuine interest versus convenient excuses. Remember: you deserve someone who makes you a priority, not an afterthought. Subscribe to Dating Daycare for more straight-talking advice that cuts through dating confusion and helps you find relationships based on mutual respect and genuine connection.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Dating Daycare, where we help you
navigate through the jungle ofjerks, ladies, we are back with
a fishbowl.
For those of you that don't know, we have our fishbowl here full
of real questions, comments,dilemmas From real women, from
real women off social media, ofcourse, comments, dilemmas From
real women, from real women offsocial media.

(00:27):
Of course we don't mentionnames.
We pick out of the fishbowl, weread your concerns and we help
you in real time navigatethrough your discrepancies.
Okay, so I had picked one outearlier, you ready, it's a long
one, so here we go.
Okay, so I matched with thisguy on Hinge, that's your area?

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Never even been on Hinge in my life.
My area of expertise yes.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
About a month ago and we've been talking ever since.
We've gone on a couple of dates, but he works a very busy
schedule Right there.
It's a load of bullshit.
Works a very busy scheduleright there, it's a load of
bullshit.
Yeah, anytime you meet a newguy, he's supposed to be this is
the best it's ever gonna be.
Yeah, the effort level is thebest it's ever gonna be.

(01:16):
Day one okay, he's supposed tobe wooing you, putting in all
the so already.
This isn't good.
He works a very busy scheduleand is frequently having to
change dates or cancel them.
He sends photos while at work,so I do believe him about his
schedule.
That's obnoxious.
There's nothing more I hatethan getting photos of your

(01:39):
daily life all day long.
I'm too old for that.
Here's my salad for lunch.
Yeah, I don't care, I'm too oldfor that.
Here's my salad for lunch.
Yeah, I don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
All right, I don't either.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Throughout the month of talking, we've only been on
three dates.
Well, three dates in threemonths.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
That's fine Everybody has a life and job In three
months.
Yeah, I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
No, throughout the month of talking, so in one
month she's been on three dates.
That's like every weekend exceptone weekend, and this weekend
would have been our fourth.
He texted me a little while agoand said that as much as he

(02:21):
enjoyed our time together and aswonderful as I am, and even
though he feels like it could bea right person wrong time
scenario, he feels like it couldbe a right person wrong time
scenario.
He is just too busy with workand realizes he isn't as ready
to start dating as he thought.
I really liked him and out ofthe guys I'm dating, he was the
one I was really hoping it wouldwork with.
He had a lot of qualities I waslooking for Too bad, so sad.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
I'm so sorry, but I I was watching something online
the other night about what thenumber one quality that you
should look for in a man is.
I'm not sure I I believe thisis, but he should want you.
He should want to spend timewith you like, uh, I, I really

(03:07):
don't care how busy he is.
He could be a ceo, he could bethe mayor of new york city.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Um, he would find car service, yeah, to bring you
there, so I don't want to hearyou're working in the city and I
live on long island he wouldfind a solution working in in.
San Diego and I live in BeverlyHill.
Like then, the man sends youcar service to bring you where
he's at.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
You have a dinner an hour or two and you could find
time on a lunch break.
You could do all kinds ofthings.
He would find a solution to hisbusy schedule problem if he
liked you enough.
Absolutely, he didn't liked youenough, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
He didn't like you enough, and that's what it comes
down to.
But I will give him credit fornot stringing you along and
telling you.
You know, whether that was thetruth or not the truth, it
doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter you know hedoesn't want to insult you and
say, listen, I'm not that intoyou, so goodbye.
So he did the right thing there.

(04:05):
But you do want a guy wooingover you.
You want a guy calling you,seeing how you're feeling, not
telling you I'm too busy for you.
If he's too busy for you now,if you were his girlfriend, what
kind of treatment would that be?
I know Like he doesn't havetime to call, he doesn't have
time to see you.
What good is that?

Speaker 2 (04:25):
You know what I mean so and that's a lie, because the
guy always has time.
I don't care.
Even if it was the truth, asyou said, you don't want
somebody like that.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
And here's the other thing which we don't know, but
I'm going to throw this in hereI'm 50% sure she slept with him.
Yeah, if you sleep with the manI say this all day long, ladies
, and I will say it until theday is done If you sleep with a

(04:56):
man before your exclusivemeaning, girlfriend, boyfriend,
you are the only girl I'm goingout with and you are the only
boy.
You take the chance of themsleeping with you and leaving
always.
They might not like what youdid in the bedroom, they may not

(05:20):
like the way you look naked.
They may have just lostinterest.
They got what they wanted andit's time to leave.
So I continually tell you allthe time you won't die, hold out
.
It should only be a month ortwo.
You could survive without somesex, as hot as he is, and just

(05:48):
when it gets that way, you saylisten, I don't sleep with
anybody until I'm exclusive.
It's the way I am.
That's it, so you know.
That's what I have to say about.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, I agree with that.
I know there are a lot ofdissenting opinions, I think
especially with women who are alittle younger than us saying
that we could do it.
But you know that's the riskyou run.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Right, that's the risk you run.
Men are hunters Okay, and ifthe prize is having sex with you
, which it usually is to a lotof men, it's not sitting down
and having dinner with you,showing you off, having sex with
you, seeing you naked, that'sthe prize.
You give that prize away andyou're not exclusive All right

(06:31):
on to the next prize.
So you run that risk and Ialways say that, yeah, yep, that
is our advice for you, bigsister advice, all right.
What's going on over here?
If it floats, it flies, rent itthe best quote a man can get.

(06:51):
Wait, what does that mean if itfucks?

Speaker 2 (06:53):
floats or flies, rent it.
Say that's my point.
The real producer is laughing.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
He said that's what he's saying so you wouldn't get
to rent me because you'd neverget to fuck it, fly it or float.
Float it until you're exclusivewith me.
And you know what I will saythis ladies, I really haven't
come across.
We love this guy.
I really haven't come across aguy that puts in all the effort,
becomes exclusive with you,sleeps with you, then dumps you.

(07:18):
I haven't found that they dumpyou way before.
When they realize a month hasgone by, they can't get in your
pants.
They say well, you know what.
This isn't good, I'm busy.
I never really met the guy.
That's like no, I'm going toput in the effort, wait around,
take her out to dinner, take heron little trips, go to a
Broadway show, do fun things andthen become exclusive, sleep

(07:42):
with you and then dump you.
That is very rare Because theydon't hold out.
They don't hold out A month, youknow.
I don't know as long as ittakes you to become exclusive
with somebody Depends on yourwork schedule, depends on do you
have kids?
Are you single, how old you are.
Like I can't go out two, threetimes a week.

(08:03):
I have shit going on, so you,like I can't go out two, three
times a week.
I have shit going on so you mayonly be able to see me once a
month.
I'm not becoming exclusive withyou.
After seeing you four times inone month, that's me.
You don't even know a person.
They could be lying to you.
They could be married with awife at home.
I mean, shit's crazy out there,but when you're, you're seeing
his representative at that pointit's not really the true

(08:26):
essence of right.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
You don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
You need to get to know somebody before.
So you, all of you, you won'tdie if you don't have sex for a
month or two or three.
Hold out, know the personyou're dating, then have sex and
they even sell vibrators atsephora.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Exactly, I know, right, exactly, yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Exactly, I know Right , exactly, yeah, anywho, all
right, that's our fishbowl ofthe week.
We hope you enjoyed and had afew laughs.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
We had fun, we had fun, we're back.
And we will see you soon foranother episode.
Bye.