Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Please come in from London.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We present The Retired color Man, a play for radio
based on the short story by Sir Arthur Cohan Doyle,
The Retired color Man. It was late one summer afternoon.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I returned from my club to two to one B
Baker Street to find Sharlock Holmes's gaunt figure stretched in
his deep chair. I recognized his melancholy and philosophic mood,
his alert, practical nature of a subject to such reactions.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Well, my dear Watson, did you see him?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Who? Oh, the old fellow just gone out?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Precisely I met him at the door. What did you
think of him?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Well?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Pathetic, futile, broken picture exactly, Watson. Pathetic and futile. But
is not all life pathetic?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Computer?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Isn't history a microcosm of the whole? We reach, we grasp,
and what is left in our hands at the end
a shadow or worse than the shadow? Misery?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Or come home? He one of your class?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, I suppose I they call him so?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Well?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Who is he anyway? Mister Josiah Amberley? He says he
was junior partner of BitFall and Amberley, manufacturers of artists materials.
You'll see their names upon pink buses. He made his
little pile, retired at the age of sixty one, bought
a house at Lewisham and settled down to rest after
a life of ceaseless grind.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Sounds a comfortable prospect.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
He retired in eighteen ninety six. Early in eighteen ninety
seven he married a woman twenty years younger than himself.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yes, good looking too, if her photographersn't flat at a competence,
a wife leisure. It looked like a straight robe before him.
Yet within two years he's reduced to the broken and
miserable creature you've.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Just seen the one's captain.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Home the old story Watson, a treacherous friend and a
fickle wife. It seems that Amberley has one hobby in
his life chess. Not far from him Atluis there is
a young doctor, doctor Ray Ernest, who is also a
chess player. Ernest was frequently an Amberley's house and an
intimacy between him and Amberley's wife.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
As a result, I doesn't surprise me. Your card doesn't
look like a paragon of the graces.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Well, the couple went off together last week destination. So
far I'm traced. What's more, the woman carried off the
old man's deed box by way of personal luggage. He's
had a good part of his life savings in him,
Sir Watson, can we find the lady? Can we save
the money.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
At a commonplace? Or the case to bother you with helms.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
In it, but vital enough for poor Jessiah Amberley. Well
that's sir.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
What do you do then?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
What will you do? My dear Watson? Hey, if you
would be good enough to understudy me? That is? You
know how preoccupied I am with this case of the
two Coptic patriarchs. It should come to a head today. No,
I really haven't time to go out to Lewisham, and
yet evidence taken on the spot says a special value.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Well, by all means, I I confess, I don't see
that can be much service.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I'm willing to do my best.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Capital. By the way, the name of his house is
the Haven. The old fellow was quite insistent that I
should go, but I explained my difficulty. He's quite prepared
to meet a representative.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
I hardly expect that so humble an individualist myself would
merity the complete attention of so famous a man as
mister Sherlock Holmes, especially after my heavy financial loss.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
And I'm going to show you, mister Ambler, that the
financial question is not a ry.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
No, of course, it's art for art's sake. With him,
I understand still, even on the artistic side of crime,
he might have found something here to study. And human nature,
doctor Watson, the blacking.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Gratitude of it all.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Tell me when did I ever refuse one of her requests?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Was ever a woman so pamphus and that young man he.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Might have been my old son, had the run of
my house? And see how.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
They've treated mister Amber.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I said, dreadful, world, dreadful, dreadful?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Did you say something? I was never going to point
out that if you continue to wave your pain.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Pushion back like that, it wouldn't be long before did
your clothing on this too? But I'm afraid the damage
is done.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Oh dear me, you see how this business has distracted me.
I'm in the middle of painting this hall. Who seemed surprised?
Doctor what must do something to ease an aching heart?
I started painting the house only the day before they disappeared.
I thought I might as well carry on. Yes, fair
(05:10):
sent but pray step into my sectum away from this
paint smell. Ah, that's better, Yes, yes, pray take a
seat you good?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Now?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Then where shall I begin my account with my retirement
on marriage? Perhaps not, mister Holmes.
Speaker 5 (05:36):
Miller requested certain details, for example, the events of the
actual evening of your wife's disappearing.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Oh, how shall I ever forget them to think that?
I prepared a special treat for the shameless creature the
Haymarket Theater, the two upper circle seats, a gay evening.
I thought, perhaps a little supper somewhere, But no, she
complained of a headache and refused to.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Go see here. I had it here, her theater.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Ticket, unused, seat thirty one, row B.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And then you had to go on.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I did there. I sat all through the performance, her empty.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Seat beside me, and little did I realize what an
ear omen it was.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
You returned to find her gone just so.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
But that was not all you see this store, it's
iron painted to look like wood. It's my strong room,
safe as a bank, I always thought, But not where
she was concerned.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Ah, as your deed box was taken.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
I believe deed box caresh securities about seven thousand pounds worth.
She must have had a duplicate key prepared. I've heard
no word from or about us. I left to go
to the theater that faithful evening, leaving her alone here
with her headache. Not one single word doctor Watson. And
(07:13):
her seat number at the Haymarket theater was thirty one.
You say, Watson, you're quite.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Sure positive my old school number. Excellent?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Then his own seat was either thirty or thirty two.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Roby.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah, well, Watson, have you told me all?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I think so? Oh?
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Did I mention the detour up a photograph of his
wife in my presence?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
He never wished to see her damn place again, he cried,
no doubt.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Still, I fensied the loss of his money took precedence
over velos of his wife, without a doubt. But let
us get down to what is practical. And I must
admit that a case which seemed to be so absurd,
as simple as to be hardly worth my notice, is
rapidly assuming a very different aspect.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
It's true in your mission you've.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Missed everything of importance. Yet even those things which have
obtruded themselves upon your notice kape rise to serious thought.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
What do I miss?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Oh, don't be hurt, my dear fellow. No one else
would have done better. But clearly you have missed some
vital points. What do the neighbors think about Amberley and
his wife? What did doctor Ernest? Was he the gala
pario one would expect? Surely these are of importance. Well,
and with your natural advantages, Watson, every lady is our
helper and accomplish. What about the girl at the post office,
(08:33):
or the greengrocer's wife, or even the lady at the
blue anchor?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
All this you've left undone. It can still be done.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
It has been done. Thanks for the telephone and the
help of Scotland Yard, I can usually get my essentials
without leaving this room. As a matter protect my information
confirms Ambley's own story. He has the local reputation of
being a miser as well as a harsh and exactly husband.
It's also certain that he had a large sum of
money in that strong room. Whoa, and it's common gossip
(09:05):
that young doctor Ernest played chess for the Amberley and
probably played the fool with his wife. It all seems
plain sailing and yet and yet it was the difficulty,
oh in my imagination perhaps well lead that there wasn't
(09:25):
let us escape from this weary, workaday world by the
side door of music Carina sings tonight at the Albert Hall.
We still have time to dress, dime and enjoy.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
The next morning, I was up early, but found a
note from Homes on the breakfast table telling me that
he'd gone de Lursium to see Ambulon, that he hoped
to be backed by three o'clock.
Speaker 6 (09:57):
Oh there you are, unt all of the minutes. Well,
what news has Emberly been here?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Here?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Emble?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
No, I'm expecting him. Oh, come in, Yes, Missus Hudson.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
There's mister Amble to see you, sir.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Ah show him in, Missus Hutton.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Very good, sir, in here, mister Joseph Amberley, pray step insider.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Thank you, Missus Hutton.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Mister Holmes, I've had a telegram I could make nothing
of exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I see it.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Come at once without fail, can give you information as
to your recent loss. Elman the Vicarage dispatched at twelve
to ten from little Pearlington. Oh Watson, hand down my
Cropford's directory. You place right Little Pearlington's in ethics, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It's not far from Printon. Uh here you are.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Oh it's you then he he h Elman, Yes, here
we have him J. C. Elman, m a living of
moussmore come little Pearlington. Well, mister Embily, you must start
at once when you look up a trained for our
friend Watson.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Yes, good fellow, mister Holmes, will you kindly tell.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
Me Liverpool Street, five homes excellent.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
You'd best go with mister Amberley Watson. He may need
help or advice. It's clear we've come to a crisis
and there.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
But he's perfectly absurd, mister Holmes. What can this country
vicker possibly know what's occurred? It's a waste of time
and money.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
He wouldn't have telegraphed you if he didn't know something.
You should wire him at once that you're coming. I
don't think I should go, mister Amberley. It would make
the worst possible impression, both on the police and upon myself.
If you should refuse to follow up so obvious a clue,
we should feel that you were not really in earnest
and misinvestigation. I of course I go. If you look
(12:15):
at it that way.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
On the face of it, it seems absurd to suppose
that this Saparson knows anything but if you.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Think I do think, Oh now, hurry along, sir, and
doctor Watson will catch you up at the telegraph office
at the corner.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Oh very well, then a waste of time and money
in my opinion, hoorry money.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Down the drain, Watson, whatever you do, see that he
really does go. If he breaks away from your orders,
hides to return, get to the nearest telegraph office and
send a single word booted. I'll arrange here the digital
reach me wherever I am.
Speaker 5 (12:52):
The weather was hot, the train slow, my companion sullen
and silent. When we at last reached little Pellington station,
it was a two mile drive before we came to
the vicarage, where a big, solemn, rather pompous kerghman received
us up in his study.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
A telegram lay before him. Well, gentlemen, what can I
do for you?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
We came in answer to your wa mister Reelman.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
My wire.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I sent no telegraphic communication.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
I mean the one you sent to mister Josah Embley
about his wife and his money.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
If this is a joke, size is a very questionable one.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
I've never heard of the gentleman who name, and I
have not sent a telegram to anyone.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I knew it would be a fool's head.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Well, must be some mistake. And the other two vicarages.
Perhaps there is.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Only one vicarage side, only one vicar.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
The telegram you refer to is obviously a scandalous forgery,
the origin of.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Which will certainly be investigated by the police. The wild gentleman,
I can see no possible object in prolonging this interview.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Hello, Hello, homes. Is that you homes? Well, they aren't homes.
The vicar never said any such. Why you're very annoyed? Home?
Speaker 7 (14:18):
Are you thereas there is no return tonight?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
What I may contemt you to the horrors of a country, what.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You can commune with?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Thank, thank you very much, homes, good night. Well what
did he say?
Speaker 1 (14:50):
He said it was the most remarkable business.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Remarkable, I should prefer the word expansion, a railway, fair.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Bird, class wife.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Hey more, And now I hope Bill it's monstrous, monstrous.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
I shall have a word to say to mister Sherlock
Holmes tomorrow.
Speaker 8 (15:06):
Oh very well, sir, We've drived directly to Baker Street
from the station tomorrow, and now we better make arrangements
for the night, I warned Holmes, by.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Telegram at the time of our arrival at Baker Street
next day.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
But when we got there we found a message to
say that he was at Lursham and would expect us there.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
This was a surprise to me, but.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
An even greater one was to find that Holmes was
not alone at Embley's house.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
In the sitting room, a turn looking, well built.
Speaker 9 (15:36):
Man sat beside him, a dark, heavily mustached man wearing
tinted sunglasses and sporting a large Masonic pin in his tie.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Ah, gentlemen, allow me to introduce my friend, mister Barker,
mister Amberley. Dr Watson, how did richoe a Mister Barker
has been interesting start in your business too, mister Amberley.
We've been working independently one another, you understand, but we
both have the same question to ask you a question?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
What question, jo miss?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
What did you do with the bodies?
Speaker 10 (16:17):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Get hold Watson.
Speaker 8 (16:24):
It No, you shan't make me answer you shall He's
trying to sallow something.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Stop him right, get holding literally, Well done, Bacher. No
short cuts, Ambly, things must be done decently, and in
order I have a cab at the door, I may
as well take him straight to the police station. Could
I tell you, Inspector that jolly coming along you want
(16:50):
to examine this house sooner or later. I don't say
you won't object to meeting me here.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Very well, I'll come back with him.
Speaker 8 (16:58):
I'll come on you and anymore nonsense and I'll have
your arm out of it.
Speaker 11 (17:03):
So well, there was a homes which's a poison capsule.
Speaker 10 (17:12):
Look, Ah, Holmes, this a buker, my hated rival upon
the suage or Ah, his methods are irregular like my own.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
We irregular as are useful sometimes, you know. Well, Holmes,
let's hear what it is all about. It all in
good time, my dear Boson, the inspector will be along
shortly for the same account. In the meantime, I shall
enjoy a few minutes qua smooth. I just want to
(17:51):
make this clear before you begin, mister Holmes, I don't
imagine that we hadn't formed our own views of this case.
Speaker 11 (17:58):
And that we wouldn't have played our hands the men.
And so you'll excuse us for feeling sore when you
jump in with methods which we can't use, and so
rob us at the credit. There will be no such robbery.
Inspector McKinnon. Nowell, I assure you that I effaced myself
from now on.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Now. As to mister Barker here, he has done nothing,
said what I told him.
Speaker 11 (18:18):
That's quite great. Well, that's pretty handsome of you, mister Holmes.
Praise or blame can matter little to you.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
But it's different for the police when the newspapers start
asking questions.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Quite so.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
But when an intelligent and enterprising reporter asks you what
the exact points were which are out your suspicion and
finally gave you a certain conviction as to the lay
of death.
Speaker 11 (18:41):
Well, well, we don't seem to have got any real
facts yet.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
What facts have you?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Have you arranged for a search, and there are two
constables on their way, Then you'll soon get the clearest
fact of all. Huh, the bodies cannot be far away,
try to sell us, and it shouldn't take long to
dig up the likely places. This house is older than
its water pipes, so there must be a disused well somewhere.
(19:10):
Why you're not there? But how did you know that
been murdered? Yes, Holmes, how is it done? Well, I'll
show you first hyphers done, inspector, and then i'll give
the explanation, which is due to you, and even more
to my long suffering friend, doctor Watson, who has been
invaluable throughout. I say, but first, I'd like you to
(19:32):
consider this man Amble. His mentality so that very unusual one,
so much so that I think his destination is more
likely to be broad more than the scaffold.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Is that, so go on.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
He has to a high degree the sort of mind
one associates with the medieval Italian nature rather than of
the modern Britain. He was a miserable miser who made
his wife so wretched by his niggardly ways that she
was already to pray for any of them. Such a
one came upon the scene, and the person of this
chest playing doctor embly excelled at chess. One indication Watson
(20:09):
the scheming mind. Like all misers, he was a jealous man,
and his jealousy became a frantic mania. Rightly or wrongly,
he suspected an intrigue. He determined to have his revenge,
and he planned it for diabolic for cleverness. Have a
look here this is his so called strong room. Oh
(20:37):
what an awful smell of plaint. That was our first clue.
You can thank doctor Watson's observation for that, though he
failed to draw the inference. It set my foot on
the trail.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Him.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Well, ask yourself, Watson, why should this man at such
a time be fill in his house of strong odors?
Obviously to cover some other smell which he wished to conceal,
some gift smell which might excite suspicions.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
And you mean decomposition.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
No, no, no, no, no, nothing of that sort. Then
came the idea of a rooms such as you see
here with a sealed armed door. Put the two texts together,
and where do they lead?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Oh, blessed if I know?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
No, me too, Oh.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Well, let it pass from now. I was already certain
of the case was serious, because I had examined the
box office chart at the Haymarket Theater, another of doctor
Watson's bull eyes. It showed that neither the two seats
B thirteen nor thirty two of the upper circle had
been occupied on the nineteen question. They lied. I mean,
(21:48):
he never went to the theater, and so his alibi
fell to the ground. He made a bad slip when
he showed you his wife's unused ticket. Watson. Yes, the
only way I could satisfy my suspicions about the smell
of paint and the existence of the sealed room, was
to examine the house myself. The question was how was
(22:09):
I to achieve this? I know that now I see it, Yes, Spatson,
I sent an agent to the most impossibly remote village
I could think of, and summoned Amberley to go there
at such an hour that he couldn't possibly get.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Back the same day, and send me will him to
make sure he really went.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
At the good dicker's name, I simply got out of
my Crockford's directory, masterly brilliant the veil here of interruption.
I proceeded to burgle the house. Burglary has always been
an alternative profession, if I'd care to adopt it, and
I have little doubt that I should have reached the
front rank of war anyway. See what I found? And
(22:51):
then you see this.
Speaker 12 (22:53):
Yes type along the skirting board here, girl, very good.
It rises the angle of the wall, and there's a
tap in the corner. Now follow me into the strung room.
You see that plaster rose in the center of the ceiling. Well,
(23:16):
the pipe finishes there with an open end at any
moment by turning the outside tap.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
This room could be flooded with gas with its door
closed and the tap full arm. I wouldn't give two
minutes of consciousness to anyone shut in here by what
devilish device he decoyed them in here? I don't know,
But once inside they were at his musty. Oh, I
(23:47):
think I've seen enough of this place. Yes, let's get
out of here.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
So he started painting the house to cover a various
smell of gas.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Afterwards honed because I said he came to have started
painting the day before. That disappears that he should have
said the day after. Ah well, what happened? Then then
came an incident which I hardly expected. I was slipping
out again through the pantry window in the early dawn today,
(24:19):
and I felt a hand grabbed my collar and a
voice said, now, your rascal, what have you been doing
in there? And I could twist my head round. I
recognized my friend and rival, mister Barker. So just where
do you come into this, mister Barker? When I say
I've been engaged by the family of doctor A Earnest
(24:40):
to make some investigation, I cut the conclusion.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Of beefoul play. Like mister es.
Speaker 7 (24:47):
I've been watching this house for several dazed, I knocked
you down, doctor Watson, as one of the most suspicious
characters to visit the place. Still I could hardly detain you.
But when I saw a man actually climbing out of
the pantry window this morning, I couldn't restrain myse out.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
And there you are, Inspector. You have all the particular
I hand them over to you and step right out
of the gate.
Speaker 11 (25:14):
Well, in the name of the course, I thank you,
mister Holmes. It seems a clear case. The way you
could it.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
You will get results, Inspector, by always putting yourself in
the other fellow's place and thinking what you would do yourself.
They take some imagination, but it pays hm.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Helms. What about the missing money and the security.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Or with all they found in some safe place where
Embiy hid them post no robbery?
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Ah, well, you've met every point home.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
The only one last thing puzzles me.
Speaker 5 (25:49):
Yes, well, Embily couldn't avoid notifying the police of his
wife's so called disappearance.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
But why was he fool enough to go to you
as well?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Ah?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Pure swank. He felt so tever and so sherd of
himself that he imagined no one could touch him. He
could say to any suspicious neighbor, if the steps I've taken,
I consulted not only the police, but even Sherlock Holme, or.
Speaker 11 (26:15):
Well, I'll have to forgive you that, even Sherlock Holmes.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yes, it's as workmen like a job as I can remember.
That was The Retired color Man by Michael Hardwick, based
on the short story by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Sherlock
Holmes was played by Carlton Hobbs and god to Watson
(26:41):
by Norman Sherley. Production for the BBC was by Graham
Gauld