Mapping Institutional Patterns of Behaviour

Content warning: The content may be distressing for some listeners.

This conversation discusses sexual abuse behaviours perpetrated by clergy and domestic violence perpetrators. While it focuses heavily on faith-based abuse, the same patterns of coercion, control, and institutional failure are present across many settings. These insights can be applied more broadly to any system that responds inadequately to abuse.

If you need support, please check the links to support services in the show notes.

Mapping Institutional Patterns of Behaviour

What happens when churches fail to plan for the reality that some individuals are drawn to positions of spiritual authority, not to serve, but to exploit?

In this powerful and confronting episode, I’m joined by David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel from the Safe & Together Institute as we unpack the institutional patterns that allow clergy sexual abuse to flourish.

We discuss the critical difference between being trauma-informed and being abuse-informed, and why failing to fully investigate known harm is a moral choice that enables predators.

Ruth breaks down the forms of sexual abuse being perpetrated, naming sexual coercion not as a side effect but as a core tactic of control. We also explore the internalised shame survivors carry, not because of what they did, but because of what was done to them in environments that should have protected them.

We unpack the patterns that lead to entrapment, and how that entrapment gains traction in a society that calls women “crazy”.

Ruth and David encourage institutions to do an honest, pattern-based assessment of the perpetrator’s behaviours and the institutional response.

We encourage faith leaders and institutions to stop and take an honest assessment:

* How has the abuse impacted the spiritual, emotional, and psychological well-being of congregants?

* How did a lack of governance or accountability contribute to the harm?

* Who were the targets, and how have they been treated?

* What actions (or inactions) did leaders take, and what was the result?

* How has the life of your congregation changed in terms of trust, worship, relationships, and safety?

* How have perpetrator trauma histories and forgiveness been weaponised?

Survivors, you have the right to heal, and you have the right to expect accountability.

Guest Bio’s

David Mandel

With over 25 years of experience in the domestic violence field, David’s international training and consulting focuses on improving systems'​ responses to domestic violence when children are involved. Through years of work with child welfare systems, he has developed the Safe and Together™ model to improve case practice and cross-system collaboration in domestic violence cases involving children. He has also identified how a perpetrator pattern-based approach can improve our ability to help families and how a continuum of practice framework can promote the development of domestic violence-informed child welfare systems.

David’s new book, Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers, is a great read for all.

Ruth Reymundo Mandel

Ruth Reymundo Mandel, co-owner of the Safe & Together Institute and co-founder of SafetyNexus grew up in an Institutional setting where she was subjected to family separation and abuse as a child. She escaped that setting, married young and when in need of assistance, she found herself and her 3 children trying to navigate broken, siloed and victim-blaming systems. Frontline workers did not coordinate with other agencies; they lacked key information and training to avoid re-traumatising and endangering her and other survivors.

Ruth knew there had to be a better way and later went on to co-own Safe and Together Institute. Acting as CMO she scaled the company from a small team of consultants to a robust e-learning ecosystem with more than 400 certified trainers, providing training to 50k frontline workers in the past 10 years. She assisted in envisioning web-based resources and tools for practitioners on the front lines. Her podcast Partnered With a Survivor has a 4.9 rating and attracts top-name speakers from the industry worldwide.

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