August 9, 2025 • 28 mins
Offers dramatic narratives that delve into human emotions and experiences, each story crafted to resonate with listeners on a personal level.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, a fab say how about ouch?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Does that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You all remember Metro Golden Mayor's famous Mazie picus Just
a moment you hear Mazy and Radio starring the same
glamorous star you all went to see and loved on
the screen.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
And Southern.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
But first you're an ouncer, and now here's Anne Southern
(01:24):
as Mazie.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yep, I'm Mazie, like he said, Maizie Revere from Brooklyn.
I'm in show business.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
If you're putting on a musical, I'll be glad to sing, dance,
tell funny stories, or even sweep up the place.
Speaker 6 (01:40):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
The theater's in my blood. But if I don't start
eating more often, there'll be very little else in it.
I've always wanted a job with a little more security,
and I've thought about working in the post office, but
there's no future. Even after you learn the business. You
can't open your own post office. So I keep on
making the rounds of the book, an agent to producers,
and do a little phone slot feeling on the side.
(02:04):
Sometimes I pick up as much as a half a buck,
depends on how I'm feeling well today. I was just
about to leave Missus Kennedy's rooming house, where my boyfriend
Eddie Jordan and I live, when the phone rang. The
city editor of one of the newspapers wanted to see me,
so I hurried right down to a doctor. Did you
(02:25):
want to see me? Mister Krank?
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Why do you think I sent for you? And I'll
sit down and.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Shut up, mister k This is going to hurt you
more than it does me. Oh you'll hit me, and
it's absolutely correct.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
You're fired.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Okay, getting my two weeks pay and I'll go pick
it up at.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
The cashier's opposite. Wait a minute, I haven't even hired you.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yet, that's right. And nobody's going to insult mazy with
here without paying for it, either in cash or through
the nose.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Yeah, well, I prefer to bleed a little. I'm sorry
I yelled at you. Amazing. I get used to thinking everybody.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
As a reporter.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Well that's all right.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
You know.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I used to be a nice guy.
Speaker 8 (03:03):
And then I saw a few movies were city editors
in them, and I realized I was completely on a character.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
So I became a first class stinker.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Oh, I wouldn't say that. I think you're more of
a second class stinker.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh that's all right. I'm always glad to say something nice,
even if it isn't true. Well, now let's get down
to business. What do you want to see me about it?
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Will I?
Speaker 7 (03:30):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I better put my coat back on so you can
concentrate it is.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Thank you, Now let's see.
Speaker 8 (03:39):
Oh of course, a maajee as I remember you conducted
our advice to the love law on column once when
Mary Jane was on vacation.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Oh sure, they don't be stupid ass, stupid column.
Speaker 8 (03:51):
Mary Jane is going to take another vacation, So we
need another substitute. Frankly, I didn't know whether I hire
you again or use our janitor. Then I decided we
needed the woman's touch.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Well, thanks for your confidence and my qualifications. I am
a woman.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Who needs to be told that. Do you want the job?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
How about money?
Speaker 8 (04:14):
Oh all right, we'll pay money. I was hoping you'd
take your salary and papers.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You think I got rocks in my head or reach
this paper?
Speaker 5 (04:24):
I offened wonder myself. All right, I suppose I offer you.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
It isn't enough, you know me pretty well, don't you.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You bet I do. Now, suppose you pay me a
salary of.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
That that's too much?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well, okay, suppose we compromise it fifty dollars a week.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
It's a deal. Shall we shake on it?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
No, let's put it in writing, coward.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Well, now you're working for me, aren't you?
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I am.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Then get a move on and get to work.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yes, sir, Let's see what missus Kennedy's got in the refrigerator.
It's lock.
Speaker 9 (05:10):
Get your grabby hands away from that refrigerator.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Missus Kennedy on behalf of all the inhabitants of your
rooming house. I resent you putting a lock on the refrigerator.
You think we weren't trustworthy.
Speaker 9 (05:23):
Look here, ready, georgan, I know my rumors, and they're
the cheapest, ginziest, chiseliniest in their room.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
Cooking this a bunch of burglars ever assembled under one roof?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Are you insinuating that I'm a burglar?
Speaker 9 (05:34):
You bet you're the champion. What were you doing by
the refrigerator?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I was just admiring the lock. Of course, I am
a little hungry, so I thought i'd come in and
smell the food. A rouma that drifts out where the
door gas ethleiques.
Speaker 7 (05:49):
Okay, I'll accept that.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Lie, all right, all right, So I was going to
snitch a chicken leg I can't help it, Missus Kennedy.
When I'm unhappy, I have to eat. You know how
long Maizie and I have been going together?
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Sure, the poor girl.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Anyway, we've been fighting lately.
Speaker 9 (06:06):
Congratulations, Eddie. That's the best part of being in love.
Speaker 7 (06:10):
Oh.
Speaker 9 (06:11):
When my boyfriend Lester and I feel that love is dying,
we stand toe to toe and slug it out. That
always warms up the old romance.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Not with me. I think my trouble is psychological.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
Psychological.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Oh, I haven't had a regular job for a while,
and well, when we go out on a date, Maizie
usually has to pay my way. I feel bad about it,
but it passes. No, it doesn't. Things just aren't the
same as when I had a regular job. Then all
she had to do is pay her ownly.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
Eddie.
Speaker 9 (06:43):
I've got an idea. Why don't you write a letter
to the Don't be stupid, ask stupid column?
Speaker 4 (06:49):
You think I get some good advice?
Speaker 5 (06:51):
Sure, Merton Fallsgruber.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
Get away from that ice botel.
Speaker 10 (06:56):
Oh, Hello, Eddie. Hello, Missus Kennedy. Hey gee, not usually
in the kitchen at this hour.
Speaker 9 (07:03):
I'll bet it's you who's been drinking the cream off
the top of the milk.
Speaker 10 (07:06):
Oh no, Missus Kennedy murin, yeah, I've done it.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
And what are you people doing out here? Anyway?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Nothing, I'm willing please, Missus Kennedy.
Speaker 7 (07:22):
Well I'm not too old for it, you know.
Speaker 6 (07:24):
That's what Eddie was telling me the other day.
Speaker 10 (07:26):
There's a lot of life in the old Turkey, he said,
So what were you doing here?
Speaker 9 (07:30):
So Eddie was just telling me that he and mad
Missus Kennedy.
Speaker 6 (07:36):
Oh gee, Eddie, I'm sorry to hear.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
That white that smirk off your face.
Speaker 10 (07:42):
Maybe Mayzee, you'd like a younger and more interesting man
who isn't as beat up as you.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Do me a favor. Will you get down to the
east Riverend pull a wave over your head.
Speaker 9 (07:52):
Oh yeah, boys, Personally, I don't mind if you both
shoot each other, but I don't want to break in
two new rumors.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Well, Missus Kennedy, can you imagine Mazie having any interest
whatsoever in this rebolding little character?
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Oh yeah, you can't tell Eddie. He's got a certain charm.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
That's me Gal.
Speaker 9 (08:14):
Maybe now that Eddie's losing out, you've got a chance.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah. Well, I'm going to write into the Don't be
stupid ass cupid color. I'm gonna get some advice on
how to keep Mazie interested in me?
Speaker 10 (08:25):
All right, And I'll write in and get some advice
on how to win a girl who's slightly older than me.
Are you going to sign your own names lot and
have everybody in the shipping room laughing at me?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Uh huh.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
I'm gonna write it under another name.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I think I'll use the name of Hm Handsome. Oh,
and I'll.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
Be known as sophisticated.
Speaker 11 (08:46):
Oh, poor cupid, amazy?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Oh, good morning, mister kunch. How's that jolly old, happy,
go lucky city Edico?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Oh, spare me your witnesses. And I don't feel good?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
What's wrong? Everything going too smoothly? You look like you
had a glass of vinegar for breakfast.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
I ate something.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
They didn't agree with me.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Well, what do you want?
Speaker 8 (09:26):
I thought I told you not to tell anybody you
were substituting on the Don't be stupid ask you but
got them.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
There's a tired old tomato outside and wants to see you.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oh well, that must be my landlady, missus Kennedy. I
told her if she came down to paper, i'd pair
the rand. Ioway, I knew.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
I could have got you for thirty five.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Well, I save your tears and tell missus Kenny to
come in here now, hop do it, okay.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
Right away? Who are you ordering around?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You get going already? I want a boss. He's got
a personality like a temporary feeling. Well, missus Kennedy, I'll
keep this a secret. I'm sure. Let's see how I'll
get the red money out.
Speaker 9 (10:05):
Hello, Maze, I just dropped in the chat for a moment.
Where's the money right here? Missus Kennedy? Thank you?
Speaker 7 (10:14):
What are you doing here? Well?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Can you keep a secret?
Speaker 7 (10:18):
Amazing? You know me?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, but I'll tell you anyway. I'm conducting that. Don't
be stupid as cupid column you hard? What's funny?
Speaker 5 (10:32):
I don't know, No, no, no, no, Mazy, it's just honey.
Speaker 9 (10:38):
It's just that i'd expect the person who answers those
letters to be older and more experienced.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, I'm old enough, and I'm experienced as a girl
can be without getting arrested. Yeah, now, now listen to
some of these letters. Well, now here's one, Dear Cupid.
The man I'm going with is very nice, but occasionally
I find out he has lied to me about something.
Is it all right to marry a man who lies?
(11:06):
Signed Anxious?
Speaker 7 (11:08):
What are you gonna say?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh, Sezy, Dear Anxious, There isn't any other kind signed Cupid?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
How true?
Speaker 5 (11:15):
How true?
Speaker 7 (11:16):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (11:17):
Here's one, Dear Cupid. Is it proper for a girl
to put her arms around a man's waist while they're
out walking?
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Signed Eager?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Well, I think I'll say, Dear Eager, No, it is
not proper unless his arms are full of bundles and
his pants are coming down.
Speaker 7 (11:36):
Very logical. Oh, here's one you've got to answer. It's
signed sign Handsome.
Speaker 6 (11:47):
What to say?
Speaker 9 (11:48):
He says that, Dear Cupid, I have been going steady
with a girl for a couple of years, but lately
I haven't been making very much money, and she started
brushing me off. Well, now there's a girl who's a
real rat.
Speaker 7 (12:04):
What a wonderful judge of character you are.
Speaker 9 (12:09):
Since she pays the check when we go out, she
thinks she owns me and is entitled to boss me around.
She's breaking my spirits graceful Nowadays I have to say,
how's about a kiss?
Speaker 7 (12:22):
Baby? Please?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
But it's girls like this who ruin guys for girls
like me?
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Where you should know, Basie.
Speaker 9 (12:30):
Here's the rest of it. How can I get her
interested in me again? What can I do to keep
her from taking me for granted? Sign Handsome?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Of course, I don't see why the guy pays any
attention to that girl.
Speaker 7 (12:42):
Oh, Mazy, don't be too hard on the girl. If
you knew her, you might like her.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Ugh, it's not possible. Well let's see, I'll say, Dear Handsome. Personally,
I think your girl sounds like a turkey. But if
you insist on her, why not try being the rough, tough,
hard boiled type. Kick her around a little, show her
you're the boss and she won't take you for granted.
(13:08):
Let me know how you make out, Sign Cupid. I'll
show them how to handle that girl.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Show her you're the boss and she won't take you
for granted. Let me know how you make out, Signed Cupid. Yep,
what's in the paper? Missus Kennedy?
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Are you going to try being the rough, hard boiled type?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Eddy?
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Sure, but don't tell Mazie anything about me writing the Cupid.
She's coming up the steps right now.
Speaker 9 (13:43):
Oh but I'll be interested to hear how Cuba's advice
works on Maze.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, I feel better already. Remember, Eddie Jordan, you got
Cupid on your side and you can't lose.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
What a day?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Hello, babe, I'll give you exactly five seconds to start
making mad love to me.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Are you for real?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
No wise cracks, good looking Cameron and tell me you're
crazy about me? Or I may have to get rough
with you.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Okay, I'm crazy about you. Now go scratch yourself with
a broken bottle and don't bother me. I'm tired of it
and I don't want to wrestle.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Kamier and kiss me, you gorgeous thing, and hurry it up.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Are you still here now, Eddie? I'm warning you.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
I got you.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Try and get away now me, Eddie, I love it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Not No, Eddie, Eddie, are you forgetting that I won
my second black belted Judo.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
I'll handle you with a flash of strength.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Cut it out, Eddie. I told you I don't want
to smooth.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Stop struggling and put your arms around me.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Okay, you asked for it. I'm put my arms around
you like this, It's more like and I get you
off balance. I pick look out and over your goat,
right into the Umbelastine.
Speaker 9 (15:01):
Kenny Jordan, get up off my cream floor?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Razy what you do to him?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
He was going to handle me with a flash of strength.
Speaker 7 (15:08):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak. I've
got other things on my mind, my god, and I
keep wondering how handsome it is going to make out
with that girl.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern will continue in
just a moment.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
And now back to Mansie.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And so remember that it's just as easy to fall
in love with a rich man as a poor one.
So good luck and may all your children be wealthy. Hey,
would you mind knocking first, mister Crown's it's me?
Speaker 8 (16:38):
And after this, when your city editor comes in, snap
to attention and salute, yes, sir very, are you responsible
for this item? And that don't be stupid ass. Cuban, Gollumn,
dear Cuban. Every morning when I come to work, my
boss kisses me. How can I avoid this?
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Sign? Chapped lips? Answer? Come to work in the afternoons?
Is that your handiwork?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I thought it was pretty cute.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Then how about this one.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Well, let's see, dear Cupid, I was out with a
young man the other evening, had drank two high balls.
Did I do anything wrong? Don't worried, dear worried? How
can I tell I wasn't there?
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Oh that's a keen answer.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
What do you want me to do? Give him a
twenty five word psycho analysis?
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Certainly? What's this letter here from sophisticated?
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Oh that's from some kid who's in love with the
girl who's older than he is. Smart lad, Yeah, but
she isn't paying any attention to him.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Oh, what did you suggest he do shoot himself? No?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I told him to get the woman interested in him
by pretending to get sick. Then when she helps him
and takes care of him a little bit, she might
get to like him.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Hey, I'll make a note of that. Myself. Might work
with a younger woman too.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Are you married, mister Kranz?
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Oh that reminds me.
Speaker 8 (17:55):
If you get a letter from a girl called undecided
who can't tell whether she loves a young athlete or
an older man of the world type who's a writer,
you tell her to take the older man.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Why because it's me.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I say, when that.
Speaker 5 (18:09):
Letter comes in, you stack the cards for me and
stack him. Good.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
But I can't at a young girl throw her life
away on a guy like you.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Are you calling me a rat?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
All I say is if the pied Piper of Hammon
came walking down the street right now, you'd fall in
behind him. Somebody who knows must be a stranger come in.
Speaker 7 (18:29):
Hello, Maze's hollow.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Missus Kennedy. Oh now, mister Kranch, here's somebody more your
own age. And Missus Kennedy, would you be interested in
marrying miss Krench.
Speaker 7 (18:40):
Wait.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
I never make snap judgment, but I can give you
a decision in ten or fifteen minutes.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Yeah, Heaven for me, Good life, Mazy.
Speaker 9 (18:49):
I just stopped over to see if you'd heard anything
from the man who signed himself Handsome.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Oh yes I did.
Speaker 7 (18:55):
How did your advice work out? Well?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
That girl he goes with is a disgrace to the female.
She's the lady wrestler type.
Speaker 11 (19:03):
Oh you don't need yes.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Can you imagine a girl throwing a guy over her
shoulder und to the floor. A girl's gotta be soft
and feminine and yielding up to a point of card.
Speaker 7 (19:17):
Uh like you are amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Well, thank you. I know I have my little faults,
but I'm nothing like this girl Hansome's having trouble with.
Speaker 9 (19:25):
Oh you're as different as day and night.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Well, I'm going to fix that girl. This time. We're
giving her the reverse treatment. My auntswer will be in
the afternoon paper.
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Oh that's great, wonderful, marvelous. And what is it?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Well, the reverse of the caveman takes me if they
go out tonight. Every time she gets interested in romance,
he'll avoid it. He won't kiss her, he won't hold
her in his arms. He'll talk all the time, and
if she mentions love, he'll change the subject. That'll stir up.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Oh, I wonderful, it'll work for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
All girls love to be kissed by their men. And
it held in his arms and kissed and what I
don't know what reminded me of him? But I wonder
what Eddie's doing tonight.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Gee, Maisie, thanks for taking me off for such a
wonderful dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Oh that's all right, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
What a sensational steak I had must have cost a fortune.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
It was four seventy five, but who looks at the prices?
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Music was nice too.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, but you didn't dance as close as you usually do. No,
ust there was two couples dancing between us.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Well, when we dance too close, it must as your dress.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Well we're home now, so it doesn't make any difference anymore.
Shall we Shall we go in the sitting.
Speaker 9 (20:52):
Room for a while.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Okay, Well, I hope I'm not keeping you up. Oh
that's all right, you know, Eddie. It's nice and dark
in here.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
I'll turn some lights. What for I like to have
some light when I talk.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Who's going to talk?
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Eddie?
Speaker 6 (21:12):
Dining?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Come here?
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Cigarette?
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Well, you almost shove that cigarette of my nose. No,
I don't want to smoke now.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
What's working my lighter?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I didn't think it could have been you. You haven't
worked for three weeks. But that cigarette away? Okay, now,
snuggle up nice and comfortable.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Well I'm comfortable now.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Well, come on, honey, snuggle up a little, Eddie, snuggle
up already.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Well, if you're going to yell at me, maybe I
better leave.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
No, stay with me. I want to be alone.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
No, wait a minute, honey, I want to tell you.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Don't tell me anything. I'll tell you. Until I met you,
I never knew how much I enjoyed being all by
myself with a good book. And all the time we
were dancing, you were yacking to yacking away. I never
heard si empty headed conversation. And next time you get
a headache, don't believe it.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
And if you've got something.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
To say, go ahead and say it. But I won't
be here. I'm going to bed, and I don't want
to see her talk you ever again. Good night? Hm
(22:32):
hm hmmm. Oh who could that be? This is second?
Was a bathroom? I'm with us sleeves and I'm trying
to put it on upside down and inside out. Who
is it? It's mehmurt in falsguber, Oh, m's matter?
Speaker 6 (22:53):
Merton, I'm sick.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Well, I'm not exactly feeling great myself. Where do you hurt?
Speaker 6 (23:01):
All over?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
The pains localized? Huh?
Speaker 6 (23:05):
I think I'm gonna faint.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Oh, take me to catch us?
Speaker 10 (23:08):
Oh oh, oh, no, I guess I'm not gonna faint.
Speaker 6 (23:12):
Oh what was that? I keep getting those terrible pains?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
How fast are they come in?
Speaker 6 (23:22):
Oh about every three minutes?
Speaker 2 (23:25):
When you better rush yourself to the hospital. Maybe you're
about to become a mother.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
No, Oh well, what do you think is wrong with you?
Speaker 6 (23:35):
Oh? Oh I think I'm dying? Yes I am. Would
you would you like to nurse me back to help making?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Listen, Merton, there's nothing wrong with you, nothing new that
is well like you think so for a dying boy.
Your eyes are wandering around too much.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
Oh well, I thought I.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Was sick, and I go back to bed before I
lose my lovely disposition.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
What do you guys want? Are you the editor that
de pay?
Speaker 6 (24:16):
We came down here to horsewhip the editor.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Yeah, I'm a stranger here myself. What's the meta?
Speaker 4 (24:21):
We don't like whoever runs? But don't be stupid ask
cupid column.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
You know. I had a little trouble with at my
shelf last night.
Speaker 8 (24:28):
I was going with a girl and the editor of
the column told her I was a broken down old
werewolf and told her.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
To ditch me.
Speaker 8 (24:34):
Go ahead, boys, go in and horsewhipper. Her name is
Mazie Revere. There's the office he's using, Mazie Revere. Holy smoke,
Come on, Merton, How.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Many times have I told you not to Eddy Merton?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Not Eddie Cupid? Just call me handsome.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
And call me sophist. That hated.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Oh no, no, you mean I was giving you advice
to try out I me and I didn't know it.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Watch this, merten, it'll be an education. Yeah yeah, came
here baby.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Now, Eddie, don't look at me that way.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Maybe you better go outside.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Nor don't don't go outside. Cam here, doll, baby, get
away from me, Eddie, don't you dare touch me? Mar
mister Crunch, gentlemen, Eddie, get away from me, now, get away.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
No, I've got.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
And this told me.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Don't Eddie please.
Speaker 12 (25:48):
And just the moment we shall return to the adventures
of Mazie.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
And now once again. Here's well.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I ate off the mantelpiece for four days before I
was ready for overstuffed chairs, and I'm still wincing every
time I see a chair without a cushion. I guess
I had it coming to me, though, and Eddie and
I made up. Of course, Mary Jane came back to
a job after a vacation. But there were a few
lawsuits on the things I wrote. So mister Crunch, the
(26:55):
city editor quit to become the editor in chief of
a cider meal. He said he lighted because it goes
to press only once a year. Well, I got to
start hunting for another job. Come anty, good moveing.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
You've just heard.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
The Adventures of Mazie, starring and Southern Mazie, was written
by John L.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Green.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Original music was composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting
cast included Alba Allman, Pat mcgeeon, Sidney Miller, and Frank Nelson.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
Jack McCoy speaking
Speaker 2 (28:01):
The
Hi, a fab say how about ouch?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Does that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You all remember Metro Golden Mayor's famous Mazie picus Just
a moment you hear Mazy and Radio starring the same
glamorous star you all went to see and loved on
the screen.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
And Southern.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
But first you're an ouncer, and now here's Anne Southern
(01:24):
as Mazie.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yep, I'm Mazie, like he said, Maizie Revere from Brooklyn.
I'm in show business.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
If you're putting on a musical, I'll be glad to sing, dance,
tell funny stories, or even sweep up the place.
Speaker 6 (01:40):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
The theater's in my blood. But if I don't start
eating more often, there'll be very little else in it.
I've always wanted a job with a little more security,
and I've thought about working in the post office, but
there's no future. Even after you learn the business. You
can't open your own post office. So I keep on
making the rounds of the book, an agent to producers,
and do a little phone slot feeling on the side.
(02:04):
Sometimes I pick up as much as a half a buck,
depends on how I'm feeling well today. I was just
about to leave Missus Kennedy's rooming house, where my boyfriend
Eddie Jordan and I live, when the phone rang. The
city editor of one of the newspapers wanted to see me,
so I hurried right down to a doctor. Did you
(02:25):
want to see me? Mister Krank?
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Why do you think I sent for you? And I'll
sit down and.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Shut up, mister k This is going to hurt you
more than it does me. Oh you'll hit me, and
it's absolutely correct.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
You're fired.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Okay, getting my two weeks pay and I'll go pick
it up at.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
The cashier's opposite. Wait a minute, I haven't even hired you.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yet, that's right. And nobody's going to insult mazy with
here without paying for it, either in cash or through
the nose.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Yeah, well, I prefer to bleed a little. I'm sorry
I yelled at you. Amazing. I get used to thinking everybody.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
As a reporter.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Well that's all right.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
You know.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I used to be a nice guy.
Speaker 8 (03:03):
And then I saw a few movies were city editors
in them, and I realized I was completely on a character.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
So I became a first class stinker.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Oh, I wouldn't say that. I think you're more of
a second class stinker.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh that's all right. I'm always glad to say something nice,
even if it isn't true. Well, now let's get down
to business. What do you want to see me about it?
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Will I?
Speaker 7 (03:30):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I better put my coat back on so you can
concentrate it is.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Thank you, Now let's see.
Speaker 8 (03:39):
Oh of course, a maajee as I remember you conducted
our advice to the love law on column once when
Mary Jane was on vacation.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Oh sure, they don't be stupid ass, stupid column.
Speaker 8 (03:51):
Mary Jane is going to take another vacation, So we
need another substitute. Frankly, I didn't know whether I hire
you again or use our janitor. Then I decided we
needed the woman's touch.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Well, thanks for your confidence and my qualifications. I am
a woman.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Who needs to be told that. Do you want the job?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
How about money?
Speaker 8 (04:14):
Oh all right, we'll pay money. I was hoping you'd
take your salary and papers.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You think I got rocks in my head or reach
this paper?
Speaker 5 (04:24):
I offened wonder myself. All right, I suppose I offer you.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
It isn't enough, you know me pretty well, don't you.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You bet I do. Now, suppose you pay me a
salary of.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
That that's too much?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well, okay, suppose we compromise it fifty dollars a week.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
It's a deal. Shall we shake on it?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
No, let's put it in writing, coward.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Well, now you're working for me, aren't you?
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I am.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Then get a move on and get to work.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yes, sir, Let's see what missus Kennedy's got in the refrigerator.
It's lock.
Speaker 9 (05:10):
Get your grabby hands away from that refrigerator.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Missus Kennedy on behalf of all the inhabitants of your
rooming house. I resent you putting a lock on the refrigerator.
You think we weren't trustworthy.
Speaker 9 (05:23):
Look here, ready, georgan, I know my rumors, and they're
the cheapest, ginziest, chiseliniest in their room.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
Cooking this a bunch of burglars ever assembled under one roof?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Are you insinuating that I'm a burglar?
Speaker 9 (05:34):
You bet you're the champion. What were you doing by
the refrigerator?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I was just admiring the lock. Of course, I am
a little hungry, so I thought i'd come in and
smell the food. A rouma that drifts out where the
door gas ethleiques.
Speaker 7 (05:49):
Okay, I'll accept that.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Lie, all right, all right, So I was going to
snitch a chicken leg I can't help it, Missus Kennedy.
When I'm unhappy, I have to eat. You know how
long Maizie and I have been going together?
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Sure, the poor girl.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Anyway, we've been fighting lately.
Speaker 9 (06:06):
Congratulations, Eddie. That's the best part of being in love.
Speaker 7 (06:10):
Oh.
Speaker 9 (06:11):
When my boyfriend Lester and I feel that love is dying,
we stand toe to toe and slug it out. That
always warms up the old romance.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Not with me. I think my trouble is psychological.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
Psychological.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Oh, I haven't had a regular job for a while,
and well, when we go out on a date, Maizie
usually has to pay my way. I feel bad about it,
but it passes. No, it doesn't. Things just aren't the
same as when I had a regular job. Then all
she had to do is pay her ownly.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
Eddie.
Speaker 9 (06:43):
I've got an idea. Why don't you write a letter
to the Don't be stupid, ask stupid column?
Speaker 4 (06:49):
You think I get some good advice?
Speaker 5 (06:51):
Sure, Merton Fallsgruber.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
Get away from that ice botel.
Speaker 10 (06:56):
Oh, Hello, Eddie. Hello, Missus Kennedy. Hey gee, not usually
in the kitchen at this hour.
Speaker 9 (07:03):
I'll bet it's you who's been drinking the cream off
the top of the milk.
Speaker 10 (07:06):
Oh no, Missus Kennedy murin, yeah, I've done it.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
And what are you people doing out here? Anyway?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Nothing, I'm willing please, Missus Kennedy.
Speaker 7 (07:22):
Well I'm not too old for it, you know.
Speaker 6 (07:24):
That's what Eddie was telling me the other day.
Speaker 10 (07:26):
There's a lot of life in the old Turkey, he said,
So what were you doing here?
Speaker 9 (07:30):
So Eddie was just telling me that he and mad
Missus Kennedy.
Speaker 6 (07:36):
Oh gee, Eddie, I'm sorry to hear.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
That white that smirk off your face.
Speaker 10 (07:42):
Maybe Mayzee, you'd like a younger and more interesting man
who isn't as beat up as you.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Do me a favor. Will you get down to the
east Riverend pull a wave over your head.
Speaker 9 (07:52):
Oh yeah, boys, Personally, I don't mind if you both
shoot each other, but I don't want to break in
two new rumors.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Well, Missus Kennedy, can you imagine Mazie having any interest
whatsoever in this rebolding little character?
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Oh yeah, you can't tell Eddie. He's got a certain charm.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
That's me Gal.
Speaker 9 (08:14):
Maybe now that Eddie's losing out, you've got a chance.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah. Well, I'm going to write into the Don't be
stupid ass cupid color. I'm gonna get some advice on
how to keep Mazie interested in me?
Speaker 10 (08:25):
All right, And I'll write in and get some advice
on how to win a girl who's slightly older than me.
Are you going to sign your own names lot and
have everybody in the shipping room laughing at me?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Uh huh.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
I'm gonna write it under another name.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I think I'll use the name of Hm Handsome. Oh,
and I'll.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
Be known as sophisticated.
Speaker 11 (08:46):
Oh, poor cupid, amazy?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Oh, good morning, mister kunch. How's that jolly old, happy,
go lucky city Edico?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Oh, spare me your witnesses. And I don't feel good?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
What's wrong? Everything going too smoothly? You look like you
had a glass of vinegar for breakfast.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
I ate something.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
They didn't agree with me.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Well, what do you want?
Speaker 8 (09:26):
I thought I told you not to tell anybody you
were substituting on the Don't be stupid ask you but
got them.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
There's a tired old tomato outside and wants to see you.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oh well, that must be my landlady, missus Kennedy. I
told her if she came down to paper, i'd pair
the rand. Ioway, I knew.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
I could have got you for thirty five.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Well, I save your tears and tell missus Kenny to
come in here now, hop do it, okay.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
Right away? Who are you ordering around?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You get going already? I want a boss. He's got
a personality like a temporary feeling. Well, missus Kennedy, I'll
keep this a secret. I'm sure. Let's see how I'll
get the red money out.
Speaker 9 (10:05):
Hello, Maze, I just dropped in the chat for a moment.
Where's the money right here? Missus Kennedy? Thank you?
Speaker 7 (10:14):
What are you doing here? Well?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Can you keep a secret?
Speaker 7 (10:18):
Amazing? You know me?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, but I'll tell you anyway. I'm conducting that. Don't
be stupid as cupid column you hard? What's funny?
Speaker 5 (10:32):
I don't know, No, no, no, no, Mazy, it's just honey.
Speaker 9 (10:38):
It's just that i'd expect the person who answers those
letters to be older and more experienced.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, I'm old enough, and I'm experienced as a girl
can be without getting arrested. Yeah, now, now listen to
some of these letters. Well, now here's one, Dear Cupid.
The man I'm going with is very nice, but occasionally
I find out he has lied to me about something.
Is it all right to marry a man who lies?
(11:06):
Signed Anxious?
Speaker 7 (11:08):
What are you gonna say?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh, Sezy, Dear Anxious, There isn't any other kind signed Cupid?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
How true?
Speaker 5 (11:15):
How true?
Speaker 7 (11:16):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (11:17):
Here's one, Dear Cupid. Is it proper for a girl
to put her arms around a man's waist while they're
out walking?
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Signed Eager?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Well, I think I'll say, Dear Eager, No, it is
not proper unless his arms are full of bundles and
his pants are coming down.
Speaker 7 (11:36):
Very logical. Oh, here's one you've got to answer. It's
signed sign Handsome.
Speaker 6 (11:47):
What to say?
Speaker 9 (11:48):
He says that, Dear Cupid, I have been going steady
with a girl for a couple of years, but lately
I haven't been making very much money, and she started
brushing me off. Well, now there's a girl who's a
real rat.
Speaker 7 (12:04):
What a wonderful judge of character you are.
Speaker 9 (12:09):
Since she pays the check when we go out, she
thinks she owns me and is entitled to boss me around.
She's breaking my spirits graceful Nowadays I have to say,
how's about a kiss?
Speaker 7 (12:22):
Baby? Please?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
But it's girls like this who ruin guys for girls
like me?
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Where you should know, Basie.
Speaker 9 (12:30):
Here's the rest of it. How can I get her
interested in me again? What can I do to keep
her from taking me for granted? Sign Handsome?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Of course, I don't see why the guy pays any
attention to that girl.
Speaker 7 (12:42):
Oh, Mazy, don't be too hard on the girl. If
you knew her, you might like her.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Ugh, it's not possible. Well let's see, I'll say, Dear Handsome. Personally,
I think your girl sounds like a turkey. But if
you insist on her, why not try being the rough, tough,
hard boiled type. Kick her around a little, show her
you're the boss and she won't take you for granted.
(13:08):
Let me know how you make out, Sign Cupid. I'll
show them how to handle that girl.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Show her you're the boss and she won't take you
for granted. Let me know how you make out, Signed Cupid. Yep,
what's in the paper? Missus Kennedy?
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Are you going to try being the rough, hard boiled type?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Eddy?
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Sure, but don't tell Mazie anything about me writing the Cupid.
She's coming up the steps right now.
Speaker 9 (13:43):
Oh but I'll be interested to hear how Cuba's advice
works on Maze.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, I feel better already. Remember, Eddie Jordan, you got
Cupid on your side and you can't lose.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
What a day?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Hello, babe, I'll give you exactly five seconds to start
making mad love to me.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Are you for real?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
No wise cracks, good looking Cameron and tell me you're
crazy about me? Or I may have to get rough
with you.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Okay, I'm crazy about you. Now go scratch yourself with
a broken bottle and don't bother me. I'm tired of it
and I don't want to wrestle.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Kamier and kiss me, you gorgeous thing, and hurry it up.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Are you still here now, Eddie? I'm warning you.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
I got you.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Try and get away now me, Eddie, I love it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Not No, Eddie, Eddie, are you forgetting that I won
my second black belted Judo.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
I'll handle you with a flash of strength.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Cut it out, Eddie. I told you I don't want
to smooth.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Stop struggling and put your arms around me.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Okay, you asked for it. I'm put my arms around
you like this, It's more like and I get you
off balance. I pick look out and over your goat,
right into the Umbelastine.
Speaker 9 (15:01):
Kenny Jordan, get up off my cream floor?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Razy what you do to him?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
He was going to handle me with a flash of strength.
Speaker 7 (15:08):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak. I've
got other things on my mind, my god, and I
keep wondering how handsome it is going to make out
with that girl.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern will continue in
just a moment.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
And now back to Mansie.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And so remember that it's just as easy to fall
in love with a rich man as a poor one.
So good luck and may all your children be wealthy. Hey,
would you mind knocking first, mister Crown's it's me?
Speaker 8 (16:38):
And after this, when your city editor comes in, snap
to attention and salute, yes, sir very, are you responsible
for this item? And that don't be stupid ass. Cuban, Gollumn,
dear Cuban. Every morning when I come to work, my
boss kisses me. How can I avoid this?
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Sign? Chapped lips? Answer? Come to work in the afternoons?
Is that your handiwork?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I thought it was pretty cute.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Then how about this one.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Well, let's see, dear Cupid, I was out with a
young man the other evening, had drank two high balls.
Did I do anything wrong? Don't worried, dear worried? How
can I tell I wasn't there?
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Oh that's a keen answer.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
What do you want me to do? Give him a
twenty five word psycho analysis?
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Certainly? What's this letter here from sophisticated?
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Oh that's from some kid who's in love with the
girl who's older than he is. Smart lad, Yeah, but
she isn't paying any attention to him.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Oh, what did you suggest he do shoot himself? No?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I told him to get the woman interested in him
by pretending to get sick. Then when she helps him
and takes care of him a little bit, she might
get to like him.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Hey, I'll make a note of that. Myself. Might work
with a younger woman too.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Are you married, mister Kranz?
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Oh that reminds me.
Speaker 8 (17:55):
If you get a letter from a girl called undecided
who can't tell whether she loves a young athlete or
an older man of the world type who's a writer,
you tell her to take the older man.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Why because it's me.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I say, when that.
Speaker 5 (18:09):
Letter comes in, you stack the cards for me and
stack him. Good.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
But I can't at a young girl throw her life
away on a guy like you.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Are you calling me a rat?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
All I say is if the pied Piper of Hammon
came walking down the street right now, you'd fall in
behind him. Somebody who knows must be a stranger come in.
Speaker 7 (18:29):
Hello, Maze's hollow.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Missus Kennedy. Oh now, mister Kranch, here's somebody more your
own age. And Missus Kennedy, would you be interested in
marrying miss Krench.
Speaker 7 (18:40):
Wait.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
I never make snap judgment, but I can give you
a decision in ten or fifteen minutes.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Yeah, Heaven for me, Good life, Mazy.
Speaker 9 (18:49):
I just stopped over to see if you'd heard anything
from the man who signed himself Handsome.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Oh yes I did.
Speaker 7 (18:55):
How did your advice work out? Well?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
That girl he goes with is a disgrace to the female.
She's the lady wrestler type.
Speaker 11 (19:03):
Oh you don't need yes.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Can you imagine a girl throwing a guy over her
shoulder und to the floor. A girl's gotta be soft
and feminine and yielding up to a point of card.
Speaker 7 (19:17):
Uh like you are amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Well, thank you. I know I have my little faults,
but I'm nothing like this girl Hansome's having trouble with.
Speaker 9 (19:25):
Oh you're as different as day and night.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Well, I'm going to fix that girl. This time. We're
giving her the reverse treatment. My auntswer will be in
the afternoon paper.
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Oh that's great, wonderful, marvelous. And what is it?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Well, the reverse of the caveman takes me if they
go out tonight. Every time she gets interested in romance,
he'll avoid it. He won't kiss her, he won't hold
her in his arms. He'll talk all the time, and
if she mentions love, he'll change the subject. That'll stir up.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Oh, I wonderful, it'll work for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
All girls love to be kissed by their men. And
it held in his arms and kissed and what I
don't know what reminded me of him? But I wonder
what Eddie's doing tonight.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Gee, Maisie, thanks for taking me off for such a
wonderful dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Oh that's all right, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
What a sensational steak I had must have cost a fortune.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
It was four seventy five, but who looks at the prices?
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Music was nice too.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, but you didn't dance as close as you usually do. No,
ust there was two couples dancing between us.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Well, when we dance too close, it must as your dress.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Well we're home now, so it doesn't make any difference anymore.
Shall we Shall we go in the sitting.
Speaker 9 (20:52):
Room for a while.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Okay, Well, I hope I'm not keeping you up. Oh
that's all right, you know, Eddie. It's nice and dark
in here.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
I'll turn some lights. What for I like to have
some light when I talk.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Who's going to talk?
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Eddie?
Speaker 6 (21:12):
Dining?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Come here?
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Cigarette?
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Well, you almost shove that cigarette of my nose. No,
I don't want to smoke now.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
What's working my lighter?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I didn't think it could have been you. You haven't
worked for three weeks. But that cigarette away? Okay, now,
snuggle up nice and comfortable.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Well I'm comfortable now.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Well, come on, honey, snuggle up a little, Eddie, snuggle
up already.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Well, if you're going to yell at me, maybe I
better leave.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
No, stay with me. I want to be alone.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
No, wait a minute, honey, I want to tell you.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Don't tell me anything. I'll tell you. Until I met you,
I never knew how much I enjoyed being all by
myself with a good book. And all the time we
were dancing, you were yacking to yacking away. I never
heard si empty headed conversation. And next time you get
a headache, don't believe it.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
And if you've got something.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
To say, go ahead and say it. But I won't
be here. I'm going to bed, and I don't want
to see her talk you ever again. Good night? Hm
(22:32):
hm hmmm. Oh who could that be? This is second?
Was a bathroom? I'm with us sleeves and I'm trying
to put it on upside down and inside out. Who
is it? It's mehmurt in falsguber, Oh, m's matter?
Speaker 6 (22:53):
Merton, I'm sick.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Well, I'm not exactly feeling great myself. Where do you hurt?
Speaker 6 (23:01):
All over?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
The pains localized? Huh?
Speaker 6 (23:05):
I think I'm gonna faint.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Oh, take me to catch us?
Speaker 10 (23:08):
Oh oh, oh, no, I guess I'm not gonna faint.
Speaker 6 (23:12):
Oh what was that? I keep getting those terrible pains?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
How fast are they come in?
Speaker 6 (23:22):
Oh about every three minutes?
Speaker 2 (23:25):
When you better rush yourself to the hospital. Maybe you're
about to become a mother.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
No, Oh well, what do you think is wrong with you?
Speaker 6 (23:35):
Oh? Oh I think I'm dying? Yes I am. Would
you would you like to nurse me back to help making?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Listen, Merton, there's nothing wrong with you, nothing new that
is well like you think so for a dying boy.
Your eyes are wandering around too much.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
Oh well, I thought I.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Was sick, and I go back to bed before I
lose my lovely disposition.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
What do you guys want? Are you the editor that
de pay?
Speaker 6 (24:16):
We came down here to horsewhip the editor.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Yeah, I'm a stranger here myself. What's the meta?
Speaker 4 (24:21):
We don't like whoever runs? But don't be stupid ask
cupid column.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
You know. I had a little trouble with at my
shelf last night.
Speaker 8 (24:28):
I was going with a girl and the editor of
the column told her I was a broken down old
werewolf and told her.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
To ditch me.
Speaker 8 (24:34):
Go ahead, boys, go in and horsewhipper. Her name is
Mazie Revere. There's the office he's using, Mazie Revere. Holy smoke,
Come on, Merton, How.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Many times have I told you not to Eddy Merton?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Not Eddie Cupid? Just call me handsome.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
And call me sophist. That hated.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Oh no, no, you mean I was giving you advice
to try out I me and I didn't know it.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Watch this, merten, it'll be an education. Yeah yeah, came
here baby.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Now, Eddie, don't look at me that way.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Maybe you better go outside.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Nor don't don't go outside. Cam here, doll, baby, get
away from me, Eddie, don't you dare touch me? Mar
mister Crunch, gentlemen, Eddie, get away from me, now, get away.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
No, I've got.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
And this told me.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Don't Eddie please.
Speaker 12 (25:48):
And just the moment we shall return to the adventures
of Mazie.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
And now once again. Here's well.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I ate off the mantelpiece for four days before I
was ready for overstuffed chairs, and I'm still wincing every
time I see a chair without a cushion. I guess
I had it coming to me, though, and Eddie and
I made up. Of course, Mary Jane came back to
a job after a vacation. But there were a few
lawsuits on the things I wrote. So mister Crunch, the
(26:55):
city editor quit to become the editor in chief of
a cider meal. He said he lighted because it goes
to press only once a year. Well, I got to
start hunting for another job. Come anty, good moveing.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
You've just heard.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
The Adventures of Mazie, starring and Southern Mazie, was written
by John L.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Green.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Original music was composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting
cast included Alba Allman, Pat mcgeeon, Sidney Miller, and Frank Nelson.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
Jack McCoy speaking
Speaker 2 (28:01):
The
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