Dream Cheesers
Join 3 mates as they delve into the ridiculous, the absurd and the hilarious.
Episodes
Could three adults with questionable talents become Guinness World Record holders? Günter, Billie and Emma investigate whether there’s a record ridiculous enough for them to break.
⚠️ Listener warning: contains wildly unrealistic ambitions, questionable talents, and three people who should probably not be left unsupervised.
https://www.instagram.com/stories/dreamcheeserspodcast/
In this episode we ask the hard questions. What would you do if your sphincter suddenly went missing? What if your manliness was judged by your knitting skills? And how did this wildly inappropriate children's book ever make it into print? Just another perfectly normal episode of Dream Cheesers.
⚠️ Content warning: contains anatomy chat, cultural curiosities, and literary decisions that are impossible to explain. Lis...
Emma is convinced vets are operating an underground dog blood syndicate and follows it up with the gripping tale of her aunty’s neighbour’s alpacas. Günter tests the limits of good taste with a collection of highly inappropriate jokes, Margie drops by for a visit to keep us in line, and we uncover the uncomfortable truth... that otters are complete arseholes.
⚠️ Content warning: contains veterinary conspi...
We boldly go where no podcast has gone before and discuss the ultimate Star Trek themed party — complete with “Pleasure Pearls from the Planet Riser” and mysterious jelly food cubes. Emma explores the strange world of subcults, including Heaven’s Gate and the phenomenon of white sneakers, Billie has a concerning obsession with the fly zapper (should we be worried?), and Günter creates the mus...
Emma investigates the mystery of the prosthetic toe and the bizarre history of pointy-toed shoes, Billie asks you to attempt to identify animal poo from a picture book (a skill nobody asked for) and writes a musical masterpiece to introduce Günter’s Science Crap, and Günter dives deep into the microbiome impact of coffee — because apparently even your morning caffeine needs a scientific investigation.
We tackle the important question: When did sharing a bed with a group of strangers become weird? Günter weighs up the pros and cons of aquatic furniture, Emma dips her toe into the bizarre tale of the woman who allegedly gave birth to a litter of rabbits, and Billie revisits the historical chaos of the Great Emu War.
⚠️ Content warning: contains questionable sleeping arrangements, dubious medical history, and birds w...
This week, Emma investigates the wonderfully ridiculous sea coconut, nature's answer to a human backside, dives into the world of invisible ink, and uncovers the mysterious historical illness known as Green Sickness. We take a nostalgic detour to remember the iconic Copperart stores, Günter discovers some truly bizarre phobias.Expect questionable science, questionable grammar, and highly questionable expertise. &nbs...
The DCP format has officially collapsed into chaos. Em uncovers the terrifying truth that wombats are both perfect and somehow capable of killing animals by twerking. Günter launches a full-scale attack on the English language and Billie continues her lifelong mission to snort-laugh directly into the microphone.
⚠️ Warning: This episode contains inappropriate language incorrect grammar, aggressive wombat facts and re...
Our first-ever guest joins the chaos as Hamish shares his Confest experience (brace yourself), Billie unpacks the gender bias behind “reference man,” and we somehow end up debating whether insects deserve legal rights — and why flies are long overdue for a PR rebrand.
⚠️ Content warning: contains colourful language, festival chaos, unexpected feminism, and strong opinions about insects.
Emma asks the all-important question: who does the mysterious silver fist actually belong to? and investigates the deeply suspicious smell coming from the Artemis II capsule. We question the increasingly strange procedures being used to combat old lady hands, and Günter explores the groundbreaking possibility of a snot transplant… for reasons nobody fully understands.
⚠️ Content warning: contains space-b...
In this episode, Billie finally opens up about her empathy for inanimate objects, Günter sends AI straight into Looney Tunes mode, and Emma investigates a raccoon that fell off the wagon and went completely rogue.
⚠️ Content warning: contains strong language, includes misplaced empathy, unstable technology, and a raccoon making consistently poor choices. Listener discretion advised.
https://www...
New Episode! Emma discusses the logistical nightmare an aerialist with diarrhoea and discuss the surprisingly strange world of prosthetic buttholes and merkins. We meet the red-eared slider turtle with sexy spirit fingers, Günter unveils his latest existential poetry and a new cult, and Billie debates the ethics of outsourcing cigarette-butt collection to a highly intelligent workforce of crows.
⚠️ Content warning: c...
Emma casually explains why she locked teenagers in a glass room during a party, Gunter bends everyone’s minds with the mathematics from his Blue Book and somehow links it all to Tanular Logic, and Billie confidently — and incorrectly — mislabels an animal. As always, things escalate quickly and no one double-checks anything.
⚠️ Content warning: colourful language, pseudo-mathematics, and facts s...
Emma takes a dive into history and explores the seed bank conundrum during the Siege of Leningrad, we ask the absolutely unhinged question "would you drink bear poo beer?", and Günter investigates the enduring mystery of where all the left socks go.
⚠️ Content warning: contains historical tragedy, questionable beverage hypotheticals, and unresolved laundry issues. Listener discretion advised.
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We fantasise about living in a bouncy-castle house, Em admits to a deeply unsettling fascination with killing flies, we (purely hypothetically) analyse how hard it would be to become a cocaine smuggler, spiral into biodegradable end-of-life plans, and Billie casually drops the story of her jailhouse grandmother like it’s no big deal.
⚠️ Content warning: contains creepy crawlies, crime-adjacent chat, morbid curi...
Emma spends an alarming amount of time at a park toilet, we unpack the pros and pitfalls of using AI as a mental health support tool, we debate the track list for 'Dream Cheesers the Album', and Günter puts Billie and Emma through a psychopath test… do they pass?
⚠️ Content warning: contains bathroom-adjacent storytelling, armchair psychology, AI opinions nobody fully agrees on, and tests you definitely di...
Emma discusses listener Kate’s quest to find a viral cookie, we spiral into the deeply unsettling question of whether it’s ethical to freeze animals in space, Gunter scats about scat, and Billie quietly edits out an extremely embarrassing faux pas.
⚠️ Content warning: includes scatological discussion, uncomfortable ethics debates, and moments Billie wishes you’ll forget. Proceed with caution.
We continue our ongoing obsession with cloacas, Em explores the Peter Pan of the amphibian world and uncovers a potential new career path as the fall person for awkward room-clearing moments, Gunter delivers the unforgettable concept of whale fart bolinis, and Billie weighs up the pros and cons of maggot cheese… so you don’t have to.
⚠️ Content warning: contains animal anatomy chat, fermented food cr...
Em discusses the legality of a homemade cheese factory and asks the very important question: how do you hide the cow? We bravely explore the deeply unsettling concept of the “waffle stomp,” Gunter and AI break up… again, and Billie tracks down the world’s grumpiest frog.
⚠️ Content warning: contains dairy-based enthusiasm, bathroom-adjacent discussions, relationship drama, and at least ...
🎄 Christmas Episode — and the final one for this season!
Emma investigates the medical miracles of the Home Alone movies and asks the important historical question: was peasant life actually better than we think? Billie explores the surprisingly rich language of swear words, while Gunter somehow ends up discussing exfoliating turtles to make infinity paper. Because of course he does.
⚠️ Content warning: c...
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