September 18, 2025 • 15 mins
In my most personal and least edited episode. I dive into holistic storytelling.
In today's highly competitive college admissions landscape, where 4.0 GPAs and 1500 SAT scores are increasingly common, your essay becomes the critical differentiator. The key to standing out isn't using tricks or templates, but crafting an authentic, specific story that reveals how you think, what you value, and how you've grown.
• Avoid clichés like "I broke my leg and learned perseverance" that stay on the surface
• Holistic storytelling shows the messy middle, specific choices, mistakes, and realizations
• Small, specific topics often make better essays than attempting to sound impressive
• The "yellow packaging" example demonstrates how everyday observations can reveal your thinking process
• Practical exercises include creating columns of happy/mad/curious moments and asking "why" five times
• Focus on specific moments rather than general statements about who you are
• Strong academics alone aren't enough anymore in selective admissions pools
• When writing about hardships, focus on growth rather than trauma
• Connect your essay to your intended major by showing your thinking path, not just stating intentions
Subscribe so you don't miss what's next in the series, and share this episode with a student or parent who is tackling college essays.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hello and welcome to the East Coast College
Admissions Podcast, the showwhere we break down the college
admissions process, sharestrategies for starters and give
students and families theclarity they need to approach
this journey with confidence.
I am your host, cleopatra, andI'm here to help you navigate
the challenges, opportunitiesand excitement of preparing for
(00:33):
college.
Today I'm diving deep into oneof the most important pieces of
your application the essay.
Not a formula, not a templateyour story.
I'll share practical strategies.
I'll tell a personal story frommy own journey that models what
I call holistic storytelling,and I'll shout out two of my
(00:54):
students who inspire me daily.
Call me in detail, let's getinto it.
Let's start here.
(01:19):
In many selective applicantpolls today, okay, a 4.0 GPA and
a 1500 plus SAT score,sometimes 1540 are increasingly
common.
Amazing, but also it means thata lot of students look very
similar on paper.
Admissions officers are used toextra smart students.
Nowadays they see academicexcellence all day long.
So what really breaks the tie?
Your voice, which is your essay, your ability to help a reader
(01:42):
feel who you are, what you careabout, what you've learned and
how you think and how youcontribute.
Listen, there is no magicformula to essay writing.
If someone is selling you one.
I haven't met them and I wouldreally very much would want you.
The differentiator isn't tricks, it's the truth.
Today I'm going to dive deepinto essay writing and I want to
(02:04):
start talking about cliches.
You know the ones where astudent will say I broke my leg
the day of the performance andlearned perseverance, or I went
on a trip and discoveredgratitude.
These are fine human moments,but they're overused and often
stay on the surface.
Okay, so holistic storytellingdigs deeper.
It's specific, it's layered andit's honest.
(02:27):
It doesn't say I overcame.
It shows the messy middle, thechoices, the mistakes, the
realizations and growth thatchanged you.
It connects dots between whathappened, why it mattered, and
who you are now.
I studied in education very,very, very young.
I was a baby in my professionalyears and I'm still in my
(02:47):
professional years still reallyyoung and I've now spent over 10
years in this space.
I've worked on both sides ofthe coin Institutionally, with
universities, boarding schools,and one-on-one with students.
I've visited over 60 pluscountries, helping institutions
expand multicultural strategiesacross Africa, middle East,
southeast Asia and Europe.
(03:07):
I have helped lay students allover the world.
I was there when Dubai shiftedfrom tourist destination to
global education hub.
I've watched institutionsattempt international expansion
and help build those pipelinesby, you know, helping them
establish stakeholderrelationships all over the world
.
So, as a young Black woman, Iwas often underestimated.
(03:28):
A very cliche version of thatstory would read like people
doubted me, but I persevered andtriumphed.
Right.
That is like the cliche.
I was a young Black woman.
I faced racism.
That is very cliche,no-transcript.
(03:49):
I was young and I wasinexperienced.
I was passionate but I wasinexperienced and most often I
didn't heed to advice because Ithought, because I had a passion
, I knew it all, which meant Imishandled client relationships.
Sometimes I mismanaged my team.
I wasn't the best boss.
At times I made financialdecisions as step two as if they
(04:11):
were already as step 70.
Short decisions at step two, asif they're already at step 70.
Stretching limited funds thewrong way and maybe sometimes
even facing legal andprofessional consequences that I
had to learn from.
What changed me wasn't someglossy win.
It was a process Gettinghumbled, hiring mentors,
learning contracts, learningpeople, learning systems,
(04:31):
rebuilding systems, beingculturally sensitive and
becoming a better business ownerand educator.
Now, once I walk you throughthat process, that is holistic
storytelling.
That is honest contest,specific missteps, hard lessons,
concrete truth.
Who I am now and how I movedifferently is different from
(04:54):
who I used to be five, seven,three, ten years ago.
So that is the how behind the Igrew story, and two students
embody this beautifully.
My ninth grader caught mealready building towards an Ivy
caliber path in medicine.
He loves helping people andwhen you listen to him speak
about healthcare and service youfeel the sincerity in his voice
(05:17):
.
That passion will one daybecome a powerful story and I
will be looking forward to thatday, not because he will sound
impressive, but because of hisstory, because I'm going to
watch him build that story, gothrough the process from grade 9
till he reaches grade 12.
And then there is Ditya, one ofmy newer students.
(05:38):
Ditya has an outstandingprofile.
This girl navigated seriouslife challenges, but that did
not deter her or limit her inany way.
Ditya has one of the strongestacademic profiles I have seen in
the past year.
That resilience, paired withreflection, makes for a story
(06:00):
that stays with the reader.
When I got Ditya's enrollmentform and I read her story, I
immediately wanted to receive anessay draft from her.
So to Ditya and Kami, to theboth of you I see you and to
anyone listening.
I do not believe in whipping outessay topics because I feel
(06:21):
that is not real, and anyonethat knows me know that I am not
for theatrics, I am for real, Iam for process, I am for
looking within, to tell yourstory something that is
authentically.
You and students often ask mewhat if my topic doesn't sound
big enough, and I'll tell youthe reason why.
(06:41):
Here is the secret Small,specific, true, can be big and
generic at any time.
So let's use a quirky exampleyellow packaging of a product.
Maybe you can't stand howcertain brands package
everything in a hash yellow, odd, odd, right, it's perfect.
(07:03):
So let's start there.
Okay, how do you feel?
Are you fascinated, annoyed?
Why?
Why does that yellow packagingof that particular product get
you so annoyed or fascinated?
What is beneath that feeling?
Does the color clash with thebrand?
(07:23):
Stated values say calm,sustainability, wrapped in loud
neon.
What questions emerge when youare digging deep into these
feelings emerge when you'redigging deep into these feelings
?
Who chooses the color palettes?
How do the color, psychology,culture and accessibility factor
into why they chose thatparticular packaging?
(07:43):
What impact do you notice?
How does it mislead customers?
How does it undercut trust?
How does it reduce usabilityfor colorblind users?
Right Now, connect those dots towhat you want to study and why.
Maybe this launches a passionfor marketing, brand ethics, ux
design, behavioral science orenvironmental design, assuming
(08:05):
that is what you want to study.
This is an angle you could takeyour story from.
Perhaps you prototype alternatepackaging, a-b test with your
community, or study brand valuealignment in your IB extended
essay or capstone.
Suddenly yellow packaging isn'ttrivial.
It's a window into how youthink, what you value, how you
(08:26):
act on curiosity.
That is your essay.
So the mini framework is goingto look like this how you feel
the why, the evidence, theaction, the academic link and
the impact.
Use this for any topic Snakishreselling, bash route, cafeteria
waste, community murals, familyrecipes, tiktok captioning
(08:50):
anything at all you can think of, like anything at all that
relates to you, how you feelabout it.
How you think of it.
That is your essay.
So here are some quick exercisesto help you dig deeper.
The first column is happy.
Second, mad.
Third, curious.
Create a rapid, fireless momentor pet peeves.
Pick one and ask why.
(09:11):
Five times Death lives.
In the fifth, why, okay?
Number two choose an everydayobject Metro card, hair, tie,
chess, pawn anything, write whatit means in your world, who
touches it, who doesn't, andwhat that says about assets,
identity or design.
(09:33):
Number three let's go intotimelines.
We are going to look intopivoting the tension and the
practice, which is basically tosay write one moment that
changed you, one ongoingfriction, one habit you built
afterwards.
That is a narrative act.
And last but not the least, Icall it the values inventory.
(09:55):
Okay, circle three to fivevalues curiosity, justice,
stewardship, audacity, care Foreach.
Write a mini scene where youlive that value imperfectly,
because imperfection is wheregrowth.
What I'm basically trying tosay is there is no magic formula
anywhere.
That is just the truth.
(10:17):
Your essay lives in you.
You just have to find it.
So let me give you, let me wrapthis up in a single structure
without losing your voice.
You keep it simple and specific.
You start with a hook.
It's not clickbait, just aconcrete, vivid start.
You move on to your moments,one or two crips, scenes.
(10:39):
You move on to what that meansto you, what you realized then,
what you realize now.
Then you move on to forwardmotion, what you did next, how
you think or act now, which isthe growth path.
Then we move on to the bridge,a light, authentic link to the
academic community you want tojoin at the particular college
that you are applying to.
So you edit for clarity, reallynot for personality.
(11:02):
Get feedback from people youtrust, but don't let too many
hands flatten your voice.
But don't let too many handsflatten your voice and also
don't get too much into yourhead, because it's very.
It's becoming increasinglycommon for students to compare
themselves and believe thattheir story is not big enough.
I am yet to meet an admissionsofficer that do not believe in
authentic stories.
Actually, that's what moves theneedle behind the scenes.
(11:23):
I have some quick questionshere that I want to provide
answers to.
A student asks my stats arestrong.
Shouldn't that be enough?
Well, to answer that in manyselective pools, lots of
students have 4.0, 15, 40.
Your essay is how you becomememorable.
Strong academics is really notenough anymore at this point
because we are seeing the sametype of profiles and the same
(11:45):
type of majors and interesteverywhere.
To my next question can I writeabout hardship?
Yes, you can, but you have tofocus on growth, not trauma.
We are not trying to traumatizethat niches offices.
We are trying to focus on ourstory and how we grew from it.
Okay, my next question says canI write about something small?
(12:07):
Please do something.
Small meaning it has to bespecific, it has to be
reflective, not vague.
And, last but not the least,how do I connect my essay to my
major?
So this is where you show yourthinking path, from your story
to your academic curiosity.
Not, therefore, I will major in, but this is how my mind works
(12:30):
and here's why this field pullsme.
Here is your takeaway.
In a world where manyapplicants boast 4.0 GPAs and
1540 SAT scores, your essay isyour differentiator, not because
of a trick, but because it'sthe one place only you can write
.
Be honest, be specific, ask howyou feel, whether you're happy,
you're sad, you're mad, and thewhy behind it.
(12:52):
Follow that thread.
Show the messy, the middle, thegrowth.
Connect it to how you think andwhat you want to explore next.
If this episode helped, pleaseshare it with a friend, a
student or a parent who is inthe thick of writing and
subscribe so you don't misswhat's next in the seas.
(13:12):
I'm Cleopatra.
Thank you for listening, andhere is to essays that sound
like you.
Outro Music.
Hello and welcome to the East Coast College
Admissions Podcast, the showwhere we break down the college
admissions process, sharestrategies for starters and give
students and families theclarity they need to approach
this journey with confidence.
I am your host, cleopatra, andI'm here to help you navigate
the challenges, opportunitiesand excitement of preparing for
(00:33):
college.
Today I'm diving deep into oneof the most important pieces of
your application the essay.
Not a formula, not a templateyour story.
I'll share practical strategies.
I'll tell a personal story frommy own journey that models what
I call holistic storytelling,and I'll shout out two of my
(00:54):
students who inspire me daily.
Call me in detail, let's getinto it.
Let's start here.
(01:19):
In many selective applicantpolls today, okay, a 4.0 GPA and
a 1500 plus SAT score,sometimes 1540 are increasingly
common.
Amazing, but also it means thata lot of students look very
similar on paper.
Admissions officers are used toextra smart students.
Nowadays they see academicexcellence all day long.
So what really breaks the tie?
Your voice, which is your essay, your ability to help a reader
(01:42):
feel who you are, what you careabout, what you've learned and
how you think and how youcontribute.
Listen, there is no magicformula to essay writing.
If someone is selling you one.
I haven't met them and I wouldreally very much would want you.
The differentiator isn't tricks, it's the truth.
Today I'm going to dive deepinto essay writing and I want to
(02:04):
start talking about cliches.
You know the ones where astudent will say I broke my leg
the day of the performance andlearned perseverance, or I went
on a trip and discoveredgratitude.
These are fine human moments,but they're overused and often
stay on the surface.
Okay, so holistic storytellingdigs deeper.
It's specific, it's layered andit's honest.
(02:27):
It doesn't say I overcame.
It shows the messy middle, thechoices, the mistakes, the
realizations and growth thatchanged you.
It connects dots between whathappened, why it mattered, and
who you are now.
I studied in education very,very, very young.
I was a baby in my professionalyears and I'm still in my
(02:47):
professional years still reallyyoung and I've now spent over 10
years in this space.
I've worked on both sides ofthe coin Institutionally, with
universities, boarding schools,and one-on-one with students.
I've visited over 60 pluscountries, helping institutions
expand multicultural strategiesacross Africa, middle East,
southeast Asia and Europe.
(03:07):
I have helped lay students allover the world.
I was there when Dubai shiftedfrom tourist destination to
global education hub.
I've watched institutionsattempt international expansion
and help build those pipelinesby, you know, helping them
establish stakeholderrelationships all over the world
.
So, as a young Black woman, Iwas often underestimated.
(03:28):
A very cliche version of thatstory would read like people
doubted me, but I persevered andtriumphed.
Right.
That is like the cliche.
I was a young Black woman.
I faced racism.
That is very cliche,no-transcript.
(03:49):
I was young and I wasinexperienced.
I was passionate but I wasinexperienced and most often I
didn't heed to advice because Ithought, because I had a passion
, I knew it all, which meant Imishandled client relationships.
Sometimes I mismanaged my team.
I wasn't the best boss.
At times I made financialdecisions as step two as if they
(04:11):
were already as step 70.
Short decisions at step two, asif they're already at step 70.
Stretching limited funds thewrong way and maybe sometimes
even facing legal andprofessional consequences that I
had to learn from.
What changed me wasn't someglossy win.
It was a process Gettinghumbled, hiring mentors,
learning contracts, learningpeople, learning systems,
(04:31):
rebuilding systems, beingculturally sensitive and
becoming a better business ownerand educator.
Now, once I walk you throughthat process, that is holistic
storytelling.
That is honest contest,specific missteps, hard lessons,
concrete truth.
Who I am now and how I movedifferently is different from
(04:54):
who I used to be five, seven,three, ten years ago.
So that is the how behind the Igrew story, and two students
embody this beautifully.
My ninth grader caught mealready building towards an Ivy
caliber path in medicine.
He loves helping people andwhen you listen to him speak
about healthcare and service youfeel the sincerity in his voice
(05:17):
.
That passion will one daybecome a powerful story and I
will be looking forward to thatday, not because he will sound
impressive, but because of hisstory, because I'm going to
watch him build that story, gothrough the process from grade 9
till he reaches grade 12.
And then there is Ditya, one ofmy newer students.
(05:38):
Ditya has an outstandingprofile.
This girl navigated seriouslife challenges, but that did
not deter her or limit her inany way.
Ditya has one of the strongestacademic profiles I have seen in
the past year.
That resilience, paired withreflection, makes for a story
(06:00):
that stays with the reader.
When I got Ditya's enrollmentform and I read her story, I
immediately wanted to receive anessay draft from her.
So to Ditya and Kami, to theboth of you I see you and to
anyone listening.
I do not believe in whipping outessay topics because I feel
(06:21):
that is not real, and anyonethat knows me know that I am not
for theatrics, I am for real, Iam for process, I am for
looking within, to tell yourstory something that is
authentically.
You and students often ask mewhat if my topic doesn't sound
big enough, and I'll tell youthe reason why.
(06:41):
Here is the secret Small,specific, true, can be big and
generic at any time.
So let's use a quirky exampleyellow packaging of a product.
Maybe you can't stand howcertain brands package
everything in a hash yellow, odd, odd, right, it's perfect.
(07:03):
So let's start there.
Okay, how do you feel?
Are you fascinated, annoyed?
Why?
Why does that yellow packagingof that particular product get
you so annoyed or fascinated?
What is beneath that feeling?
Does the color clash with thebrand?
(07:23):
Stated values say calm,sustainability, wrapped in loud
neon.
What questions emerge when youare digging deep into these
feelings emerge when you'redigging deep into these feelings
?
Who chooses the color palettes?
How do the color, psychology,culture and accessibility factor
into why they chose thatparticular packaging?
(07:43):
What impact do you notice?
How does it mislead customers?
How does it undercut trust?
How does it reduce usabilityfor colorblind users?
Right Now, connect those dots towhat you want to study and why.
Maybe this launches a passionfor marketing, brand ethics, ux
design, behavioral science orenvironmental design, assuming
(08:05):
that is what you want to study.
This is an angle you could takeyour story from.
Perhaps you prototype alternatepackaging, a-b test with your
community, or study brand valuealignment in your IB extended
essay or capstone.
Suddenly yellow packaging isn'ttrivial.
It's a window into how youthink, what you value, how you
(08:26):
act on curiosity.
That is your essay.
So the mini framework is goingto look like this how you feel
the why, the evidence, theaction, the academic link and
the impact.
Use this for any topic Snakishreselling, bash route, cafeteria
waste, community murals, familyrecipes, tiktok captioning
(08:50):
anything at all you can think of, like anything at all that
relates to you, how you feelabout it.
How you think of it.
That is your essay.
So here are some quick exercisesto help you dig deeper.
The first column is happy.
Second, mad.
Third, curious.
Create a rapid, fireless momentor pet peeves.
Pick one and ask why.
(09:11):
Five times Death lives.
In the fifth, why, okay?
Number two choose an everydayobject Metro card, hair, tie,
chess, pawn anything, write whatit means in your world, who
touches it, who doesn't, andwhat that says about assets,
identity or design.
(09:33):
Number three let's go intotimelines.
We are going to look intopivoting the tension and the
practice, which is basically tosay write one moment that
changed you, one ongoingfriction, one habit you built
afterwards.
That is a narrative act.
And last but not the least, Icall it the values inventory.
(09:55):
Okay, circle three to fivevalues curiosity, justice,
stewardship, audacity, care Foreach.
Write a mini scene where youlive that value imperfectly,
because imperfection is wheregrowth.
What I'm basically trying tosay is there is no magic formula
anywhere.
That is just the truth.
(10:17):
Your essay lives in you.
You just have to find it.
So let me give you, let me wrapthis up in a single structure
without losing your voice.
You keep it simple and specific.
You start with a hook.
It's not clickbait, just aconcrete, vivid start.
You move on to your moments,one or two crips, scenes.
(10:39):
You move on to what that meansto you, what you realized then,
what you realize now.
Then you move on to forwardmotion, what you did next, how
you think or act now, which isthe growth path.
Then we move on to the bridge,a light, authentic link to the
academic community you want tojoin at the particular college
that you are applying to.
So you edit for clarity, reallynot for personality.
(11:02):
Get feedback from people youtrust, but don't let too many
hands flatten your voice.
But don't let too many handsflatten your voice and also
don't get too much into yourhead, because it's very.
It's becoming increasinglycommon for students to compare
themselves and believe thattheir story is not big enough.
I am yet to meet an admissionsofficer that do not believe in
authentic stories.
Actually, that's what moves theneedle behind the scenes.
(11:23):
I have some quick questionshere that I want to provide
answers to.
A student asks my stats arestrong.
Shouldn't that be enough?
Well, to answer that in manyselective pools, lots of
students have 4.0, 15, 40.
Your essay is how you becomememorable.
Strong academics is really notenough anymore at this point
because we are seeing the sametype of profiles and the same
(11:45):
type of majors and interesteverywhere.
To my next question can I writeabout hardship?
Yes, you can, but you have tofocus on growth, not trauma.
We are not trying to traumatizethat niches offices.
We are trying to focus on ourstory and how we grew from it.
Okay, my next question says canI write about something small?
(12:07):
Please do something.
Small meaning it has to bespecific, it has to be
reflective, not vague.
And, last but not the least,how do I connect my essay to my
major?
So this is where you show yourthinking path, from your story
to your academic curiosity.
Not, therefore, I will major in, but this is how my mind works
(12:30):
and here's why this field pullsme.
Here is your takeaway.
In a world where manyapplicants boast 4.0 GPAs and
1540 SAT scores, your essay isyour differentiator, not because
of a trick, but because it'sthe one place only you can write
.
Be honest, be specific, ask howyou feel, whether you're happy,
you're sad, you're mad, and thewhy behind it.
(12:52):
Follow that thread.
Show the messy, the middle, thegrowth.
Connect it to how you think andwhat you want to explore next.
If this episode helped, pleaseshare it with a friend, a
student or a parent who is inthe thick of writing and
subscribe so you don't misswhat's next in the seas.
(13:12):
I'm Cleopatra.
Thank you for listening, andhere is to essays that sound
like you.
Outro Music.
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