October 13, 2025 • 35 mins
Gratitude gets eye-rolls when it’s reduced to a checklist, but the kind we explore here is gritty, practical, and game-changing. We go straight at the myth that gratitude means denial, and show how it becomes an anchor you can stand on when the storm hits—at work, at home, and inside your own head. From rewiring your brain to scan for options instead of threats, to recognizing the ordinary miracles you’ve been sprinting past, we make the case that gratitude is not polite—it’s powerful.
We trace the real turning points: realizing you’ve been chasing “more” without feeling it, pausing long enough to register a win, and seeing how appreciation deepens trust with your partner, kids, friends, and colleagues. You’ll hear simple practices that actually stick—a one-breath gratitude pause, a journal that names what truly lights you up, a short letter you may or may not send, and a “hundred list” that can flip your mood faster than another cup of coffee. Along the way we talk fatherhood, time scarcity, and the hard truth that 80% of your time with your kids is gone by age 12—so savor the rides to practice, even when you’re tired.
The through-line is choice. The facts are the facts; the event is the event. You decide how to meet it. Gratitude won’t remove hardship, but it will change your state so you respond with presence, perspective, and power. That shift turns scarcity into enough, enough into momentum, and momentum into meaning. If you’re ready to stop doing the work alone and build real accountability with men who get it, join the Evolve Men Brotherhood waitlist. And if this conversation sparked something, share it with a friend, subscribe, and leave a review—what’s one thing you’re grateful for today?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Men, before we dive in, I've got something big to
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(00:24):
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(00:47):
Today we're talking aboutsomething that sounds super
simple, right?
But really, in all actuality, issuper powerful when it's
practiced, and that's gratitude.
Right now, the the thing is thata lot of times I feel like
there's this negativeconnotation around gratitude,
right?
Because gratitude, I feel like,or at least like listing
(01:10):
gratitude, can seem reallyperformative.
Right.
It's it's saying thank you topeople.
Hey, man, I really appreciatethat.
It's just like one of those sortof things that you're supposed
to do.
Like, of course you're supposedto be thankful for this.
Like, of course you're supposedto feel good about that.
But but I think that oftenpeople don't actually take the
(01:32):
time to stop and think aboutwhat it is that they're great,
grateful about, right?
About what it is that theyreally feel, right?
Like what it brings up in them.
And and really making aconscious effort to to think
about what it is that that movesthem in those moments, right?
And and it ends up being thissort of thing that that
(01:54):
gratitude for people ends upbeing this sort of thing that's
almost done, like kind of out ofhabit, right?
Without even thinking about it,somebody just responds, like,
hey man, thanks for doing that.
But they don't actually, it'snot being embedded, it's not
being embodied into their,sometimes I say like it's not
being actually embedded intotheir soul.
(02:14):
Right.
So really like this episode isreally kind of bringing up the
idea of not just saying it forthe sake of saying it, but
really understanding where it isthat that comes from and and
expressing it.
Right.
So today's focus, we're gonna betalking about why gratitude
(02:37):
matters.
We're gonna talk about how it,how it works and and how to
apply it in when life feelsmessy.
Right.
So gratitude isn't isn't justabout writing down a list of
positives, right?
It's really about lookingthrough life through a different
(02:57):
lens.
And and when doing that, it's alens that that really shifts how
we see everything.
Right.
So, you know, often I feel like,as I was saying a second ago,
like that it that it ends upbeing this like, let me just
write down, you know, 10positive things that you know
that I'm supposed to say, right?
(03:18):
Like these are all really nice.
I'm I'm grateful that I havefood, I'm grateful that I have
water, right?
But but doing this, right, likedoing it and really embodying it
really makes us stop and thinkabout everything that's going on
in our lives and being like,yeah, you know what, man, like I
(03:41):
I do appreciate that.
So real gratitude is realgratitude is is is presence,
right?
And and perspective and power,right?
Because you have to actuallystop in that sort of moment and
and take an inventory of what'sgoing on for you in your life
(04:04):
and assess what it is that thatyou're grateful for, right?
It's not just as I keep saying,it's not just pretending that
everything is hunky dory, right?
It's it's not like paintingeverything with this golden
brush and being like, oh, that'syou know, no big deal here, not
(04:25):
a big deal there.
It's it's recognizing like nomatter what's going on in your
life, what what it what's stillgood, right?
Because in any opportunity, wehave the opportunity or in any
situation, we've got theopportunity to decide for
ourselves how it is that we wantto look at a scenario, right?
(04:47):
And it's super easy for us tojust say, in any sort of
situation, like, oh, that's youknow, the that's shitty or
that's bad, like all of theseother sort of things, but in and
in any sort of situation, we wehave the choice, right?
It's kind of like a fork in theroad, right?
(05:08):
If you come to it, that ifyou're walking up to a
situation, you can eitherchoose, you know, an action to
the left, or you can choose anaction to the right, right?
Now it's not it's not ignoringwhat the action is or what the
situation or what's going on,but it's like, hey, this is
(05:28):
gonna happen no matter what.
There's nothing that I canchange about that, right?
And the way that I look at itcan either be helpful or and and
supportive and and constructive,right?
Something that's gonna move meforward in my life, or it can be
something that is negative andimpactful, impactful and draws
(05:49):
me down, right?
So gratitude, it's not thatstruggle goes away when you have
gratitude, right?
It's what it is is that when thestruggle happens, no matter what
it is, right, we call it asituation or a struggle or
whatever it is, that in thosemoments of struggle that is when
(06:10):
you need the gratitude the most,right?
So again, like I keep saying,it's not that that the struggle
goes away.
It's not that we're living lifewith rose-colored glasses,
right?
It's that, like, hey, thesituation or the struggle or
whatever it is, like it's stillgoing to happen.
There's nothing we can do aboutthat.
(06:31):
That event is going to takeplace, but we are the ones to
choose in those moments how itis that we react to it, right?
And reacting to it in and withgratitude changes the entire
perspective of it entirely.
Right.
So the idea is you if if wethink about this, right, and we
(06:53):
break it down to the actualscience of it, that consistent
gratitude in your life, like itreally starts to rewire your
brain, right?
And it strengthens those thosepathways of optimism and
resilience.
You know, one one of the thingsthat, well, I'll talk about it
(07:13):
here in a second, but kind of onthat that idea that going
around, you know, insane in anysort of a situation, and it
sounds silly, right?
To to be able to do that, tojust say, like, you know, hey,
this thing didn't turn outgreat, right?
Like, oh, you, you know,normally you would be like, oh,
that was a super shittysituation, right?
(07:34):
But looking at that, like, hey,you know what?
Now I've experienced that.
I know what to do next time.
So when it comes around again, Ican keep myself out of that
situation.
Right.
And as you start practicingpracticing this, instead of
focusing on the negative, right,you start to rewire your brain
to pick out the positives inevery situation, right?
(07:57):
Again, because these situationsare going to happen.
And nine times out of ten,there's nothing that you could
do to have avoided it.
But at the end of that, you getto choose how it is that you
react to it.
So there's a lot of otherbenefits that come with
gratitude, right?
They they say that that peoplethat are actively practicing
(08:17):
gratitude, that they sleepbetter, right?
They feel happier, right?
They they cope stronger withchallenges and struggles and
things that are going on intheir life.
Right.
And and so all of this comesdown to, as I keep saying, that
what it is that you focus on inany sort of situation is what's
(08:41):
going to grow.
Right.
And so if you focus on thenegative in that situation, then
that is going to grow and you'regoing to ruminate on it, right?
And everything, everything thatyou do is bad, right?
But out of that same situation,if you turn it around and you
focus on the positives, nomatter how few there are, right,
and it's it's going to continueto grow, right?
(09:05):
So gratitude is is training yourmind to notice an abundance,
right?
Not lack.
And and what I mean by that isthat gratitude is is showing you
that in those times you're like,man, you know, this didn't
happen, this didn't go well, Idon't have enough of this.
(09:27):
It's it's training your mind topick out of situations and
scenarios and life more often tolike just how fruitful your life
is, like how many opportunities,like, yeah, maybe you don't have
that one opportunity, but let'sbut look at all of these other
opportunities that you do have,right?
And and stopping to be thankfuland and grateful for those sort
(09:52):
of things, right?
Because when you start pickingthat, it's like I was saying
about what you focus on grows.
Because when you start pickingthese sort of things out and you
start making this a habit inyour everyday life, more of this
starts showing up for youeverywhere else.
Right.
So for me, a lot of my life, youknow, and I say all of this,
(10:17):
right?
As somebody that for most of mylife I I chased, right?
It was one achievement after thenext.
But and it was it wasn't untilyou know the the last few years
really where I stopped and I waslike, man, like why do I feel
why do I feel like I've I'venever arrived, I've never gotten
there, right?
It's never enough, right?
(10:39):
And I I really started torealize that I had never stopped
to acknowledge the fact thatI've done work, I've overcome
these obstacles, that I've donethese things, right?
That that yeah, maybe there'sstill things that I'm struggling
with at times, but man, I am sograteful for the the
(11:00):
opportunities that that that Ihave.
Right.
And so all of that to kind ofsay is that for most of my life,
I was moving from one thing tothe next and and really never
stopping to take an inventory,right?
Or to to be grateful for thethings that I do have, right?
They there were just things inmy life, interestingly enough,
(11:22):
as I think about it, like theywere just things in my life that
that really I took for granted,right?
Things as simple as like, hey,I've I've got a job, I have
health insurance, I have food onthe table, like my kids are
healthy, you know.
And so as I think about that,I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
like, yeah, of course, right?
Those are all great.
But the reality is like that'snot that's not something that
(11:49):
every it's it's not something,it's not a like it's not a
God-given right, right?
Like these are things that thatwere afforded to us, right?
That we were given theopportunity, right?
And so but it takes at times, ittakes stopping to really stop
(12:12):
and recognize, like, man, likethat thing didn't just magically
show up in my life, like therewas an end-to-end process that
made it so that it it was infront of me, right?
That it that it presenteditself, right?
And so the moment that that youre that for me that that it
(12:35):
really changed was was reallyaround my kids, right?
And my divorce, like reallystopping to appreciate that all
of the things that I that I had,the the time that I have with
them, right?
And you know, one one of thethings that I go back to often
is this quote that I think it'sby the the time that your kids
(12:56):
are 12 years old that you willhave spent 80% of the time with
them that you'll ever get.
Right.
And it it really made me stopand think like just how grateful
that I am for, you know, theannoying times, right?
When I'm like, oh fuck, I'veI've got to take my kids to
another soccer practice, right?
(13:16):
Or to another wrestlingpractice, or like, oh like man,
I I get to have the opportunity,right?
Like it's it is a gift becauseone day those opportunities
aren't going to be there, right?
They're not going to be affordedto me, and I'm gonna be wishing
more than ever that I had them.
So for me, that's reallychanged, you know, as we talk
(13:39):
about, especially in regards tomy kids and and really just
everyday life, like you know,the the saying, like stop and
smell the roses, right?
And it's it's made me so muchmore of a a calmer, more
grounded, and more connectedfather and man and partner at
(14:03):
times, right?
To to really being able to tonot only like to want to, I I
want to stop.
And you know, it's almost it'salmost like taking in a picture,
right?
If you're thinking about it.
And and right now, as I'mfilming this podcast, I've got a
beautiful picture of Smith Rockbehind the camera here.
(14:25):
And and so as I think aboutthat, it's like it's like when
you snap that picture, right?
And when it comes throughinitially at the at the first
snap of everything, it comesthrough maybe in black and
white.
But over time, maybe the longerthat that that lens is is open,
more colors start coming in,right?
(14:46):
And they get more vibe, they getbrighter and they get clearer
and they get more vibrant,right?
But the thing is that when forme, I was just cruising through
life, you know, everything'sgoing like this, and I couldn't
tell you the trees that weregoing by, like what color they
were, what kind of trees theywere, if there was birds that
was in them, right?
(15:07):
Like if there was a pot of goldat the bottom of it.
I I I had no idea.
And so for me, it just itallowed me the the opportunity
to stop and smell the roses andto take the pictures and to
appreciate them and to smellthings, right?
(15:28):
Which in turn it it's it's justbeen a life experience, right?
You know, as I think about allof this, it's like, what are we
racing towards?
What are we racing for?
Right.
I mean, are we racing to our ourdeathbed to to get there and
have missed everything and nothave actually experienced it?
(15:54):
All right.
So the thing about gratitude,right?
Because I think a lot of timesguys in particular might say
that that, you know, gratitudeis just it's it's denying the
fact of what it is, right?
Like we talked about earlier,like it's just painting over
everything, right?
But it's not saying that thesesort of things didn't happen,
(16:17):
it's really anchoring you in inthe moment, in who you are as a
man, as a father, as a husband,or whatever it might be, right?
Like I'm I'm here, right?
And so it is saying as anexample, right?
(16:37):
Like, yeah, this is hard, right?
But I can still be grateful tobe here, right?
Is being a dad hard?
Yeah, it's challenging at times,is being a partner challenging
at times, absolutely, but I'mstill grateful to be here.
I'm still grateful to havesomeone, you know, that that
(16:58):
cares about me, that contributesto me, that does this, right?
So, you know, also saying, like,man, I I don't necessarily know
where it is that I'm going,right, at times, right?
Being a father, I've I say thisoften, man.
I've I've never been, I'm what,41 now?
I've never been 41 years old andbeen a father.
(17:21):
Like I'm still waking up everyday figuring this out as I go.
All right.
Yeah, I'm completely lost.
I have no clue, you know,figuratively, like I have no
clue what I'm doing.
Every problem that I'mapproaching, I'm I'm if I
haven't learned about it ormaybe studied it, like it's kind
of new to me.
I'm figuring it out as I go, butI'm still grateful that I
(17:44):
haven't given up, right?
That I keep showing up, that Ikeep doing this.
And yeah, sure, I've mademistakes, right?
But I'm gonna keep showing up,and I'm gonna keep doing this
again, over and over again.
So gratitude is the it's it'skind of like the the emotional
footing, right, that that youstand on during the storms,
(18:07):
right?
Sure, that there's a lot goingon and you're swaying from side
to side, right?
But gratitude is the it's theanchor that's you know, I guess
if it was like building a house,it's like the the lag bolts in
the top of the, you know, thatthat go from the the bottom of
I'm obviously not a constructionguy, but the the things that
(18:28):
hold the the subfloor down tothe footing of the house, right?
These are the sort of thingsthat allow you to just say,
because it's really easy duringthe storm for us to be like, oh
man, like this is wrong, this iswrong, I did all that bad, like
this is just gonna keep going.
Yeah, yeah, that's that's allhappening, right?
(18:49):
But there's things in there atany given point that you can
pull out of there, right?
And kind of going back to whatwe said earlier, you have to you
have to consciously make aneffort.
You have to make a choice whichway you're going, right?
Or or you get the opportunity tomake the choice.
And so we can look over here andwe know where that's going.
We've all done that many atimes, but I can also go over
(19:13):
here.
Right.
And I can also choose in thosesort of moments to stop and to
pause and to to recognize out ofany situation what it is that
I'm grateful for in it.
Right.
And it's it's that sort of pauseand that calmness and that
(19:34):
grounding, right, that reallybuilds resilience and
perspective when everything elsefeels like it's certain, right?
Knowing that, hey, I've got allof these other things that are
going on, and and these sort ofthings didn't go the way that I
want to.
But being able to to like, youknow, I picture it as like a
five-year-old kid running aroundthe house, right?
(19:56):
And it's just crazy andeverything's going on, and like,
wow, it's all wild, right?
But being able to say at the endof that, like, yeah, like shit's
crazy right now.
All right, it's it's wild.
There's a lot of things goingon, there's toys everywhere,
like, but I know at the end ofthis, like, just like it did
before, it's gonna get put away.
The house is gonna be quiet,right?
(20:17):
I'm gonna get to spend time withmy partner.
And it's it's that resilienceand perspective that practicing
gratitude builds.
So we've talked about gratitudein a lot of different ways,
right?
So let's talk a little bit abouthow gratitude impacts
(20:38):
relationships, right?
And and I'm not talking aboutjust, you know, the this goes
for both your your kids and yourpartner, but but it extends on
past that, right?
Because genuine appreciation,right, is is the is one of the
things or the glues, we couldsay, that really deepens trust
(20:59):
and emotional safety, right?
So whether it's with anybodythat it's with, really extending
that sort of appreciation tothem, it it lights people up,
man.
I mean, anytime anybody has eversaid to me, you know, like, no
matter what it is, you know,maybe I'm like a what is it,
(21:21):
words of affirmation sort ofguy.
Like anytime someone comes to meand they're like, hey, Corey,
man, I just want to tell you,like, I really appreciate what
you did back there or what yousaid, it makes my entire day,
right?
And then at that moment, likethat that was a moment where
that person had an opportunityto like we had a connection
(21:43):
there, right?
It was one of those things likeI trust them, I can see their
vulnerability theirvulnerability, they can see
mine, like, okay, like this issomeone that maybe I want to,
you know, like it's just seeingit is kind of where I'm going
with it.
So the idea with that, right, isthat so there's this, this what
(22:04):
they an effect or a theory, orI'm not sure what it's called,
but it's called the thereciprocity effect, right?
That as we're walking around inthe world, there's the way that
we show that others show up tous can be the way that we share
out and show up to the world,right?
(22:24):
So if I'm extending gratitude toeverybody else, you know, or you
know, and and this doesn't meanthat I'm just like walking
around, you know, sunshines andrainbows everywhere that I go,
right?
But finding opportunities alongyour day to just say to somebody
like, hey man, I I really wantedto tell you I I appreciate you,
(22:45):
you know.
I the the the friendship that wehave, like I really value it,
right?
For maybe these differentreasons.
And and it doesn't even have tobe something so deep, right?
It could be something as assimple as I don't know, but
finding opportunities along theway.
Hey man, I appreciate you, youknow, showing up here tonight
(23:06):
and putting on dance lessons,right?
It's something that I that Ireally value during the week.
Wow.
Right?
Like that guy, that danceinstructor, I I danced salsa,
right?
So last night I was at a salsalessons.
So saying something like that tothe the dance instructor, right?
Like that just made his nightmore than likely, right?
(23:28):
And he's from there is gonna goout, it's gonna put a smile on
his face, it's gonna pick him upa little bit, and he's gonna
walk away from there and belike, yeah, you know what?
Like, I show up every Wednesdaynight, and and you know, there's
a lot of nights that you knowthat maybe he doesn't want to
show up, or he had a bad night,or whatever it is, but he gets
an opportunity to remember thatpeople really value him being
(23:52):
there and acknowledging that.
And so that in turn, he turnsaround and he's thanking the the
guy at the gas station, he'sthanking the woman at the the
espresso stand or the theStarbucks that he picked up or
somebody for holding the door,right?
And so it's this effect, thisreciprocity effect that starts
to it's like a a ripple in thewater, right?
(24:13):
When one person drops it, thatit just it it grows out from
there and it gets bigger andbigger and bigger, right?
So as we as we kind of you know,as I think about this, right?
I I would challenge you, likewho do you think who is somebody
(24:35):
in your life that you couldexpress gratitude today?
Right, and and it doesn't as westart talking about this and you
start doing it, like what we'rereally trying to do here is is
grease the skids, right?
We're not trying to like, youknow, this isn't like showing up
at the gym on January 1 andbeing like, okay, you know what?
(24:55):
I'm gonna show up every day,like every day I'm gonna find
every single opportunity tothank everybody for everything.
Like, no, no, no, like we'regonna get burnt out, right?
So the idea is like, how could Ithank one more person, you know,
or express my gratitude today?
Right, and and do that.
(25:17):
So here's a couple of ideas,right?
As you start to think about howit is that you would express
gratitude, right?
So there's there's the one way,right, is keeping a gratitude
journal, right?
And that's that's writing downthree things daily.
And and the trick with this isnot one of the themes that
(25:40):
you've probably heard over andover in this is that it's not
about it's not about justwriting down what's shiny,
right?
Or what sounds good, right?
That like, oh, let me, you know,I'm I'm grateful for my health,
I'm grateful for, you know, oh,I don't know, I'm grateful for
electricity, I'm grateful forthat.
Like, no, really take anopportunity to find the things
(26:02):
that light you up a little bit,right?
And and it's it doesn't have itcan be perfect, it can be
personal to you, right?
So being able to say, like, youknow what, I'm really like, I
love Grande Vanilla lattes.
Like every time I drink one ofthose, like it puts a smile on
my face.
I'm grateful for coffee creamer,you know, and that doesn't mean
(26:23):
that that's always gonna lookthat that entry in your journal
is always going to look thatway, that you're always going to
be thanking coffee creamer orbeing grateful for coffee coffee
creamer.
But what we're trying to do hereis start to to grease the skids,
right?
To get those things is to tobuild our acknowledgement of it,
(26:43):
right?
Because for a lot of men, thisisn't something like myself that
for most of my life I neverstopped to actually take an invo
inventory and acknowledge whatit is that I'm thankful for.
So in the beginning, yeah, ofcourse, I'm I'm grateful for you
know French vanilla coffeecreamer.
I'm super grateful for that.
Right.
So the other thing is toactually a gratitude pause.
(27:08):
All right.
And so this is this is anopportunity to take like one
conscious breath and and namesomething that's going right
right now, in the moment orwhatever it is, right?
To really, and this is nicebecause it's not something that
you've got to have a journal,that you have to think about it
too much, but when you'restanding in line at Starbucks,
(27:31):
right, or whatever it is, justbeing grateful for like, man,
you know what?
I'm so I'm so stoked that Ibrought my my umbrella with me
today, right?
I live in Washington State, itrains a lot, and so just those
sort of things, like, man, thisis I'm stoked.
I I brought this, right?
Or or whatever it might be.
So in those moments, taking apause and taking a breath,
(27:53):
right, and and finding somethingin that moment to be grateful
for.
So, and the next one is isactually taking it a step
farther and writing a gratitudeletter, right?
And I I know what you'rethinking, right?
First thing's like, oh my god,there's no way this is gonna be
long, he's gonna make me sendit.
(28:14):
Like, no, that's not what I'msaying.
So, but the idea is is to towrite something out again, it
could be on a on a post-it noteor a full-length letter, right?
But to write somethingmeaningful, and it's up to you
whether you send it or not, butjust getting in the practice of
taking that inventory andacknowledging it and and sharing
(28:39):
it from there, right?
We talked about the reciprocityeffect, and so, but it's getting
into the practice of that.
One of the things that I that Iwanted to share with you, and
this is something that we talkedabout in the men's group when I
brought this topic up, I don'tknow, some some time ago, is the
idea in any situation to so if Iasked you right now, for
(29:02):
instance, right?
Say, say something happened, nomatter what it was, and you
stopped in that moment, and youwere like, you know what, I'm
gonna sit here, and and this isone of the things that we we
talked about it, you know, sayfor whatever reason you're in
some sort of a mindset about howhow bad everything is right now.
Like, if you were to consciouslystop in that moment and write
(29:28):
down a hundred things, or justto say, right, like
theoretically, if you were towrite down a hundred things that
you're grateful for right now,right?
The idea is that you wouldn'tthere you would never make it to
a hundred before it probablychanged your mood and your
perspective, right?
It's and so kind of going backto the the idea that we have a
(29:52):
choice in every given moment,right?
We can we can choose to have anegative outlook or perspective
on this.
Right.
Or the situations still happen.
Right.
We can't change that.
The fact is what it is.
The situation is truth.
Right.
But I can choose what it is thatI want to pick out of this.
Right.
I can choose to make itconstructive and positive and
(30:17):
helpful.
And even if that means like,hey, this happened to me today,
but I know in the future, when Icome across this again, and
maybe in the future, I don'teven nail it that time.
But you know what?
I got 99 more times.
And by the time I get to, youknow, to the last one, I'm going
to have nailed this.
And I had to have gone throughthose, through those 99 in order
to have gotten there.
But my point in saying all ofthis is even going as far as
(30:40):
thinking about it from that wayis that writing down, like if
you were, you you can't help butto change your perspective and
your mood and your thoughtprocesses when you start to look
at things through that lens,again, of gratitude.
Right.
And so the idea with this is tobegin to change our thoughts
(31:03):
around it, our minds, and startto reframe situations and
challenges and things like thatin our life.
And that's turning them fromcomplaints into a shift in our
perspective in how we viewthings.
So as we start to wrap up today,I gratitude doesn't erase
(31:28):
hardships, right?
And that's something that'ssuper important that I that I
don't want to just like glossover.
I'm not trying to say that thesethings didn't happen, right?
So gratitude doesn't erasehardship.
Hardship is the situation,right?
What gratitude does is it helpsyou meet it with strength,
(31:49):
right?
Because we said that, like, hey,this is gonna happen anyway.
There's nothing that I canchange about that.
That is truth, that is fact,right?
But I have an opportunity here.
I am the captain of my ship, asmy as my mentor would say.
I'm the one driving this ship.
And I get to choose how it isthat I look at this, right?
And I choose something that'sgoing to be constructive and
(32:11):
going to be helpful.
So gratitude turns what we have,right?
As we think about this,gratitude turns what it is that
we have in life into enough,right?
Because a lot of us are alwayssearching for more, more, more,
or to have this or do these sortof things, right?
(32:33):
Or I need to do that, that I Ishould really be doing this.
It makes us stop and look atlike the the how fragile all of
this is, the ecosystem of ourlife, right?
The the experiences that we getwith our kids, and it it really
changes things from not enough,right, to to being enough, to
(32:58):
being full, to instead of ascarcity mindset into a mindset
of abundance.
It and it begins to reallyreconnect us to meaning and to
to purpose, right?
And and anchors us in thepresent, right, with with
strength and conviction, right?
(33:22):
So gratitude takes like I said,uh, you know, and just to to
drive that home, that gratitudereally takes what it is that we
have that in our life that arethoughts and turns it into
enough, right?
It it reconnects us in in everyaspect of life.
(33:47):
Right.
So all right, guys, that's whatI've got for this episode.
If anything in here you wassuper impactful for you, like
really stuck home, that youreally took a took away with it,
I encourage you to share thiswith another another man, right?
I think that more often peopleneed to to take that pause and
(34:10):
take that inventory to reallystop and think about what it is
that they're they're gratefulfor.
So, and with that, I wouldencourage you like what's one
thing that you're taking awayfrom this episode today that
you're grateful for, right?
And and to to write it down, toshare somebody, you know, share
that with somebody or or send aletter or whatever it might be.
(34:33):
Right.
So the takeaway for today is isto really reconsider your your
habits, right?
Or your mindset aroundgratitude, right?
And and really remember thatit's gratitude is at the
foundation of self-leadershipand self-mastery.
(34:53):
All right, guys, that's whatI've got for today's episode.
I'll see you next time.
Hey, before you go, this podcastis just the surface.
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This is our private community ofmen committed to leading
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But you can get on the listtoday and be the first to claim
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(00:47):
Today we're talking aboutsomething that sounds super
simple, right?
But really, in all actuality, issuper powerful when it's
practiced, and that's gratitude.
Right now, the the thing is thata lot of times I feel like
there's this negativeconnotation around gratitude,
right?
Because gratitude, I feel like,or at least like listing
(01:10):
gratitude, can seem reallyperformative.
Right.
It's it's saying thank you topeople.
Hey, man, I really appreciatethat.
It's just like one of those sortof things that you're supposed
to do.
Like, of course you're supposedto be thankful for this.
Like, of course you're supposedto feel good about that.
But but I think that oftenpeople don't actually take the
(01:32):
time to stop and think aboutwhat it is that they're great,
grateful about, right?
About what it is that theyreally feel, right?
Like what it brings up in them.
And and really making aconscious effort to to think
about what it is that that movesthem in those moments, right?
And and it ends up being thissort of thing that that
(01:54):
gratitude for people ends upbeing this sort of thing that's
almost done, like kind of out ofhabit, right?
Without even thinking about it,somebody just responds, like,
hey man, thanks for doing that.
But they don't actually, it'snot being embedded, it's not
being embodied into their,sometimes I say like it's not
being actually embedded intotheir soul.
(02:14):
Right.
So really like this episode isreally kind of bringing up the
idea of not just saying it forthe sake of saying it, but
really understanding where it isthat that comes from and and
expressing it.
Right.
So today's focus, we're gonna betalking about why gratitude
(02:37):
matters.
We're gonna talk about how it,how it works and and how to
apply it in when life feelsmessy.
Right.
So gratitude isn't isn't justabout writing down a list of
positives, right?
It's really about lookingthrough life through a different
(02:57):
lens.
And and when doing that, it's alens that that really shifts how
we see everything.
Right.
So, you know, often I feel like,as I was saying a second ago,
like that it that it ends upbeing this like, let me just
write down, you know, 10positive things that you know
that I'm supposed to say, right?
(03:18):
Like these are all really nice.
I'm I'm grateful that I havefood, I'm grateful that I have
water, right?
But but doing this, right, likedoing it and really embodying it
really makes us stop and thinkabout everything that's going on
in our lives and being like,yeah, you know what, man, like I
(03:41):
I do appreciate that.
So real gratitude is realgratitude is is is presence,
right?
And and perspective and power,right?
Because you have to actuallystop in that sort of moment and
and take an inventory of what'sgoing on for you in your life
(04:04):
and assess what it is that thatyou're grateful for, right?
It's not just as I keep saying,it's not just pretending that
everything is hunky dory, right?
It's it's not like paintingeverything with this golden
brush and being like, oh, that'syou know, no big deal here, not
(04:25):
a big deal there.
It's it's recognizing like nomatter what's going on in your
life, what what it what's stillgood, right?
Because in any opportunity, wehave the opportunity or in any
situation, we've got theopportunity to decide for
ourselves how it is that we wantto look at a scenario, right?
(04:47):
And it's super easy for us tojust say, in any sort of
situation, like, oh, that's youknow, the that's shitty or
that's bad, like all of theseother sort of things, but in and
in any sort of situation, we wehave the choice, right?
It's kind of like a fork in theroad, right?
(05:08):
If you come to it, that ifyou're walking up to a
situation, you can eitherchoose, you know, an action to
the left, or you can choose anaction to the right, right?
Now it's not it's not ignoringwhat the action is or what the
situation or what's going on,but it's like, hey, this is
(05:28):
gonna happen no matter what.
There's nothing that I canchange about that, right?
And the way that I look at itcan either be helpful or and and
supportive and and constructive,right?
Something that's gonna move meforward in my life, or it can be
something that is negative andimpactful, impactful and draws
(05:49):
me down, right?
So gratitude, it's not thatstruggle goes away when you have
gratitude, right?
It's what it is is that when thestruggle happens, no matter what
it is, right, we call it asituation or a struggle or
whatever it is, that in thosemoments of struggle that is when
(06:10):
you need the gratitude the most,right?
So again, like I keep saying,it's not that that the struggle
goes away.
It's not that we're living lifewith rose-colored glasses,
right?
It's that, like, hey, thesituation or the struggle or
whatever it is, like it's stillgoing to happen.
There's nothing we can do aboutthat.
(06:31):
That event is going to takeplace, but we are the ones to
choose in those moments how itis that we react to it, right?
And reacting to it in and withgratitude changes the entire
perspective of it entirely.
Right.
So the idea is you if if wethink about this, right, and we
(06:53):
break it down to the actualscience of it, that consistent
gratitude in your life, like itreally starts to rewire your
brain, right?
And it strengthens those thosepathways of optimism and
resilience.
You know, one one of the thingsthat, well, I'll talk about it
(07:13):
here in a second, but kind of onthat that idea that going
around, you know, insane in anysort of a situation, and it
sounds silly, right?
To to be able to do that, tojust say, like, you know, hey,
this thing didn't turn outgreat, right?
Like, oh, you, you know,normally you would be like, oh,
that was a super shittysituation, right?
(07:34):
But looking at that, like, hey,you know what?
Now I've experienced that.
I know what to do next time.
So when it comes around again, Ican keep myself out of that
situation.
Right.
And as you start practicingpracticing this, instead of
focusing on the negative, right,you start to rewire your brain
to pick out the positives inevery situation, right?
(07:57):
Again, because these situationsare going to happen.
And nine times out of ten,there's nothing that you could
do to have avoided it.
But at the end of that, you getto choose how it is that you
react to it.
So there's a lot of otherbenefits that come with
gratitude, right?
They they say that that peoplethat are actively practicing
(08:17):
gratitude, that they sleepbetter, right?
They feel happier, right?
They they cope stronger withchallenges and struggles and
things that are going on intheir life.
Right.
And and so all of this comesdown to, as I keep saying, that
what it is that you focus on inany sort of situation is what's
(08:41):
going to grow.
Right.
And so if you focus on thenegative in that situation, then
that is going to grow and you'regoing to ruminate on it, right?
And everything, everything thatyou do is bad, right?
But out of that same situation,if you turn it around and you
focus on the positives, nomatter how few there are, right,
and it's it's going to continueto grow, right?
(09:05):
So gratitude is is training yourmind to notice an abundance,
right?
Not lack.
And and what I mean by that isthat gratitude is is showing you
that in those times you're like,man, you know, this didn't
happen, this didn't go well, Idon't have enough of this.
(09:27):
It's it's training your mind topick out of situations and
scenarios and life more often tolike just how fruitful your life
is, like how many opportunities,like, yeah, maybe you don't have
that one opportunity, but let'sbut look at all of these other
opportunities that you do have,right?
And and stopping to be thankfuland and grateful for those sort
(09:52):
of things, right?
Because when you start pickingthat, it's like I was saying
about what you focus on grows.
Because when you start pickingthese sort of things out and you
start making this a habit inyour everyday life, more of this
starts showing up for youeverywhere else.
Right.
So for me, a lot of my life, youknow, and I say all of this,
(10:17):
right?
As somebody that for most of mylife I I chased, right?
It was one achievement after thenext.
But and it was it wasn't untilyou know the the last few years
really where I stopped and I waslike, man, like why do I feel
why do I feel like I've I'venever arrived, I've never gotten
there, right?
It's never enough, right?
(10:39):
And I I really started torealize that I had never stopped
to acknowledge the fact thatI've done work, I've overcome
these obstacles, that I've donethese things, right?
That that yeah, maybe there'sstill things that I'm struggling
with at times, but man, I am sograteful for the the
(11:00):
opportunities that that that Ihave.
Right.
And so all of that to kind ofsay is that for most of my life,
I was moving from one thing tothe next and and really never
stopping to take an inventory,right?
Or to to be grateful for thethings that I do have, right?
They there were just things inmy life, interestingly enough,
(11:22):
as I think about it, like theywere just things in my life that
that really I took for granted,right?
Things as simple as like, hey,I've I've got a job, I have
health insurance, I have food onthe table, like my kids are
healthy, you know.
And so as I think about that,I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
like, yeah, of course, right?
Those are all great.
But the reality is like that'snot that's not something that
(11:49):
every it's it's not something,it's not a like it's not a
God-given right, right?
Like these are things that thatwere afforded to us, right?
That we were given theopportunity, right?
And so but it takes at times, ittakes stopping to really stop
(12:12):
and recognize, like, man, likethat thing didn't just magically
show up in my life, like therewas an end-to-end process that
made it so that it it was infront of me, right?
That it that it presenteditself, right?
And so the moment that that youre that for me that that it
(12:35):
really changed was was reallyaround my kids, right?
And my divorce, like reallystopping to appreciate that all
of the things that I that I had,the the time that I have with
them, right?
And you know, one one of thethings that I go back to often
is this quote that I think it'sby the the time that your kids
(12:56):
are 12 years old that you willhave spent 80% of the time with
them that you'll ever get.
Right.
And it it really made me stopand think like just how grateful
that I am for, you know, theannoying times, right?
When I'm like, oh fuck, I'veI've got to take my kids to
another soccer practice, right?
(13:16):
Or to another wrestlingpractice, or like, oh like man,
I I get to have the opportunity,right?
Like it's it is a gift becauseone day those opportunities
aren't going to be there, right?
They're not going to be affordedto me, and I'm gonna be wishing
more than ever that I had them.
So for me, that's reallychanged, you know, as we talk
(13:39):
about, especially in regards tomy kids and and really just
everyday life, like you know,the the saying, like stop and
smell the roses, right?
And it's it's made me so muchmore of a a calmer, more
grounded, and more connectedfather and man and partner at
(14:03):
times, right?
To to really being able to tonot only like to want to, I I
want to stop.
And you know, it's almost it'salmost like taking in a picture,
right?
If you're thinking about it.
And and right now, as I'mfilming this podcast, I've got a
beautiful picture of Smith Rockbehind the camera here.
(14:25):
And and so as I think aboutthat, it's like it's like when
you snap that picture, right?
And when it comes throughinitially at the at the first
snap of everything, it comesthrough maybe in black and
white.
But over time, maybe the longerthat that that lens is is open,
more colors start coming in,right?
(14:46):
And they get more vibe, they getbrighter and they get clearer
and they get more vibrant,right?
But the thing is that when forme, I was just cruising through
life, you know, everything'sgoing like this, and I couldn't
tell you the trees that weregoing by, like what color they
were, what kind of trees theywere, if there was birds that
was in them, right?
(15:07):
Like if there was a pot of goldat the bottom of it.
I I I had no idea.
And so for me, it just itallowed me the the opportunity
to stop and smell the roses andto take the pictures and to
appreciate them and to smellthings, right?
(15:28):
Which in turn it it's it's justbeen a life experience, right?
You know, as I think about allof this, it's like, what are we
racing towards?
What are we racing for?
Right.
I mean, are we racing to our ourdeathbed to to get there and
have missed everything and nothave actually experienced it?
(15:54):
All right.
So the thing about gratitude,right?
Because I think a lot of timesguys in particular might say
that that, you know, gratitudeis just it's it's denying the
fact of what it is, right?
Like we talked about earlier,like it's just painting over
everything, right?
But it's not saying that thesesort of things didn't happen,
(16:17):
it's really anchoring you in inthe moment, in who you are as a
man, as a father, as a husband,or whatever it might be, right?
Like I'm I'm here, right?
And so it is saying as anexample, right?
(16:37):
Like, yeah, this is hard, right?
But I can still be grateful tobe here, right?
Is being a dad hard?
Yeah, it's challenging at times,is being a partner challenging
at times, absolutely, but I'mstill grateful to be here.
I'm still grateful to havesomeone, you know, that that
(16:58):
cares about me, that contributesto me, that does this, right?
So, you know, also saying, like,man, I I don't necessarily know
where it is that I'm going,right, at times, right?
Being a father, I've I say thisoften, man.
I've I've never been, I'm what,41 now?
I've never been 41 years old andbeen a father.
(17:21):
Like I'm still waking up everyday figuring this out as I go.
All right.
Yeah, I'm completely lost.
I have no clue, you know,figuratively, like I have no
clue what I'm doing.
Every problem that I'mapproaching, I'm I'm if I
haven't learned about it ormaybe studied it, like it's kind
of new to me.
I'm figuring it out as I go, butI'm still grateful that I
(17:44):
haven't given up, right?
That I keep showing up, that Ikeep doing this.
And yeah, sure, I've mademistakes, right?
But I'm gonna keep showing up,and I'm gonna keep doing this
again, over and over again.
So gratitude is the it's it'skind of like the the emotional
footing, right, that that youstand on during the storms,
(18:07):
right?
Sure, that there's a lot goingon and you're swaying from side
to side, right?
But gratitude is the it's theanchor that's you know, I guess
if it was like building a house,it's like the the lag bolts in
the top of the, you know, thatthat go from the the bottom of
I'm obviously not a constructionguy, but the the things that
(18:28):
hold the the subfloor down tothe footing of the house, right?
These are the sort of thingsthat allow you to just say,
because it's really easy duringthe storm for us to be like, oh
man, like this is wrong, this iswrong, I did all that bad, like
this is just gonna keep going.
Yeah, yeah, that's that's allhappening, right?
(18:49):
But there's things in there atany given point that you can
pull out of there, right?
And kind of going back to whatwe said earlier, you have to you
have to consciously make aneffort.
You have to make a choice whichway you're going, right?
Or or you get the opportunity tomake the choice.
And so we can look over here andwe know where that's going.
We've all done that many atimes, but I can also go over
(19:13):
here.
Right.
And I can also choose in thosesort of moments to stop and to
pause and to to recognize out ofany situation what it is that
I'm grateful for in it.
Right.
And it's it's that sort of pauseand that calmness and that
(19:34):
grounding, right, that reallybuilds resilience and
perspective when everything elsefeels like it's certain, right?
Knowing that, hey, I've got allof these other things that are
going on, and and these sort ofthings didn't go the way that I
want to.
But being able to to like, youknow, I picture it as like a
five-year-old kid running aroundthe house, right?
(19:56):
And it's just crazy andeverything's going on, and like,
wow, it's all wild, right?
But being able to say at the endof that, like, yeah, like shit's
crazy right now.
All right, it's it's wild.
There's a lot of things goingon, there's toys everywhere,
like, but I know at the end ofthis, like, just like it did
before, it's gonna get put away.
The house is gonna be quiet,right?
(20:17):
I'm gonna get to spend time withmy partner.
And it's it's that resilienceand perspective that practicing
gratitude builds.
So we've talked about gratitudein a lot of different ways,
right?
So let's talk a little bit abouthow gratitude impacts
(20:38):
relationships, right?
And and I'm not talking aboutjust, you know, the this goes
for both your your kids and yourpartner, but but it extends on
past that, right?
Because genuine appreciation,right, is is the is one of the
things or the glues, we couldsay, that really deepens trust
(20:59):
and emotional safety, right?
So whether it's with anybodythat it's with, really extending
that sort of appreciation tothem, it it lights people up,
man.
I mean, anytime anybody has eversaid to me, you know, like, no
matter what it is, you know,maybe I'm like a what is it,
(21:21):
words of affirmation sort ofguy.
Like anytime someone comes to meand they're like, hey, Corey,
man, I just want to tell you,like, I really appreciate what
you did back there or what yousaid, it makes my entire day,
right?
And then at that moment, likethat that was a moment where
that person had an opportunityto like we had a connection
(21:43):
there, right?
It was one of those things likeI trust them, I can see their
vulnerability theirvulnerability, they can see
mine, like, okay, like this issomeone that maybe I want to,
you know, like it's just seeingit is kind of where I'm going
with it.
So the idea with that, right, isthat so there's this, this what
(22:04):
they an effect or a theory, orI'm not sure what it's called,
but it's called the thereciprocity effect, right?
That as we're walking around inthe world, there's the way that
we show that others show up tous can be the way that we share
out and show up to the world,right?
(22:24):
So if I'm extending gratitude toeverybody else, you know, or you
know, and and this doesn't meanthat I'm just like walking
around, you know, sunshines andrainbows everywhere that I go,
right?
But finding opportunities alongyour day to just say to somebody
like, hey man, I I really wantedto tell you I I appreciate you,
(22:45):
you know.
I the the the friendship that wehave, like I really value it,
right?
For maybe these differentreasons.
And and it doesn't even have tobe something so deep, right?
It could be something as assimple as I don't know, but
finding opportunities along theway.
Hey man, I appreciate you, youknow, showing up here tonight
(23:06):
and putting on dance lessons,right?
It's something that I that Ireally value during the week.
Wow.
Right?
Like that guy, that danceinstructor, I I danced salsa,
right?
So last night I was at a salsalessons.
So saying something like that tothe the dance instructor, right?
Like that just made his nightmore than likely, right?
(23:28):
And he's from there is gonna goout, it's gonna put a smile on
his face, it's gonna pick him upa little bit, and he's gonna
walk away from there and belike, yeah, you know what?
Like, I show up every Wednesdaynight, and and you know, there's
a lot of nights that you knowthat maybe he doesn't want to
show up, or he had a bad night,or whatever it is, but he gets
an opportunity to remember thatpeople really value him being
(23:52):
there and acknowledging that.
And so that in turn, he turnsaround and he's thanking the the
guy at the gas station, he'sthanking the woman at the the
espresso stand or the theStarbucks that he picked up or
somebody for holding the door,right?
And so it's this effect, thisreciprocity effect that starts
to it's like a a ripple in thewater, right?
(24:13):
When one person drops it, thatit just it it grows out from
there and it gets bigger andbigger and bigger, right?
So as we as we kind of you know,as I think about this, right?
I I would challenge you, likewho do you think who is somebody
(24:35):
in your life that you couldexpress gratitude today?
Right, and and it doesn't as westart talking about this and you
start doing it, like what we'rereally trying to do here is is
grease the skids, right?
We're not trying to like, youknow, this isn't like showing up
at the gym on January 1 andbeing like, okay, you know what?
(24:55):
I'm gonna show up every day,like every day I'm gonna find
every single opportunity tothank everybody for everything.
Like, no, no, no, like we'regonna get burnt out, right?
So the idea is like, how could Ithank one more person, you know,
or express my gratitude today?
Right, and and do that.
(25:17):
So here's a couple of ideas,right?
As you start to think about howit is that you would express
gratitude, right?
So there's there's the one way,right, is keeping a gratitude
journal, right?
And that's that's writing downthree things daily.
And and the trick with this isnot one of the themes that
(25:40):
you've probably heard over andover in this is that it's not
about it's not about justwriting down what's shiny,
right?
Or what sounds good, right?
That like, oh, let me, you know,I'm I'm grateful for my health,
I'm grateful for, you know, oh,I don't know, I'm grateful for
electricity, I'm grateful forthat.
Like, no, really take anopportunity to find the things
(26:02):
that light you up a little bit,right?
And and it's it doesn't have itcan be perfect, it can be
personal to you, right?
So being able to say, like, youknow what, I'm really like, I
love Grande Vanilla lattes.
Like every time I drink one ofthose, like it puts a smile on
my face.
I'm grateful for coffee creamer,you know, and that doesn't mean
(26:23):
that that's always gonna lookthat that entry in your journal
is always going to look thatway, that you're always going to
be thanking coffee creamer orbeing grateful for coffee coffee
creamer.
But what we're trying to do hereis start to to grease the skids,
right?
To get those things is to tobuild our acknowledgement of it,
(26:43):
right?
Because for a lot of men, thisisn't something like myself that
for most of my life I neverstopped to actually take an invo
inventory and acknowledge whatit is that I'm thankful for.
So in the beginning, yeah, ofcourse, I'm I'm grateful for you
know French vanilla coffeecreamer.
I'm super grateful for that.
Right.
So the other thing is toactually a gratitude pause.
(27:08):
All right.
And so this is this is anopportunity to take like one
conscious breath and and namesomething that's going right
right now, in the moment orwhatever it is, right?
To really, and this is nicebecause it's not something that
you've got to have a journal,that you have to think about it
too much, but when you'restanding in line at Starbucks,
(27:31):
right, or whatever it is, justbeing grateful for like, man,
you know what?
I'm so I'm so stoked that Ibrought my my umbrella with me
today, right?
I live in Washington State, itrains a lot, and so just those
sort of things, like, man, thisis I'm stoked.
I I brought this, right?
Or or whatever it might be.
So in those moments, taking apause and taking a breath,
(27:53):
right, and and finding somethingin that moment to be grateful
for.
So, and the next one is isactually taking it a step
farther and writing a gratitudeletter, right?
And I I know what you'rethinking, right?
First thing's like, oh my god,there's no way this is gonna be
long, he's gonna make me sendit.
(28:14):
Like, no, that's not what I'msaying.
So, but the idea is is to towrite something out again, it
could be on a on a post-it noteor a full-length letter, right?
But to write somethingmeaningful, and it's up to you
whether you send it or not, butjust getting in the practice of
taking that inventory andacknowledging it and and sharing
(28:39):
it from there, right?
We talked about the reciprocityeffect, and so, but it's getting
into the practice of that.
One of the things that I that Iwanted to share with you, and
this is something that we talkedabout in the men's group when I
brought this topic up, I don'tknow, some some time ago, is the
idea in any situation to so if Iasked you right now, for
(29:02):
instance, right?
Say, say something happened, nomatter what it was, and you
stopped in that moment, and youwere like, you know what, I'm
gonna sit here, and and this isone of the things that we we
talked about it, you know, sayfor whatever reason you're in
some sort of a mindset about howhow bad everything is right now.
Like, if you were to consciouslystop in that moment and write
(29:28):
down a hundred things, or justto say, right, like
theoretically, if you were towrite down a hundred things that
you're grateful for right now,right?
The idea is that you wouldn'tthere you would never make it to
a hundred before it probablychanged your mood and your
perspective, right?
It's and so kind of going backto the the idea that we have a
(29:52):
choice in every given moment,right?
We can we can choose to have anegative outlook or perspective
on this.
Right.
Or the situations still happen.
Right.
We can't change that.
The fact is what it is.
The situation is truth.
Right.
But I can choose what it is thatI want to pick out of this.
Right.
I can choose to make itconstructive and positive and
(30:17):
helpful.
And even if that means like,hey, this happened to me today,
but I know in the future, when Icome across this again, and
maybe in the future, I don'teven nail it that time.
But you know what?
I got 99 more times.
And by the time I get to, youknow, to the last one, I'm going
to have nailed this.
And I had to have gone throughthose, through those 99 in order
to have gotten there.
But my point in saying all ofthis is even going as far as
(30:40):
thinking about it from that wayis that writing down, like if
you were, you you can't help butto change your perspective and
your mood and your thoughtprocesses when you start to look
at things through that lens,again, of gratitude.
Right.
And so the idea with this is tobegin to change our thoughts
(31:03):
around it, our minds, and startto reframe situations and
challenges and things like thatin our life.
And that's turning them fromcomplaints into a shift in our
perspective in how we viewthings.
So as we start to wrap up today,I gratitude doesn't erase
(31:28):
hardships, right?
And that's something that'ssuper important that I that I
don't want to just like glossover.
I'm not trying to say that thesethings didn't happen, right?
So gratitude doesn't erasehardship.
Hardship is the situation,right?
What gratitude does is it helpsyou meet it with strength,
(31:49):
right?
Because we said that, like, hey,this is gonna happen anyway.
There's nothing that I canchange about that.
That is truth, that is fact,right?
But I have an opportunity here.
I am the captain of my ship, asmy as my mentor would say.
I'm the one driving this ship.
And I get to choose how it isthat I look at this, right?
And I choose something that'sgoing to be constructive and
(32:11):
going to be helpful.
So gratitude turns what we have,right?
As we think about this,gratitude turns what it is that
we have in life into enough,right?
Because a lot of us are alwayssearching for more, more, more,
or to have this or do these sortof things, right?
(32:33):
Or I need to do that, that I Ishould really be doing this.
It makes us stop and look atlike the the how fragile all of
this is, the ecosystem of ourlife, right?
The the experiences that we getwith our kids, and it it really
changes things from not enough,right, to to being enough, to
(32:58):
being full, to instead of ascarcity mindset into a mindset
of abundance.
It and it begins to reallyreconnect us to meaning and to
to purpose, right?
And and anchors us in thepresent, right, with with
strength and conviction, right?
(33:22):
So gratitude takes like I said,uh, you know, and just to to
drive that home, that gratitudereally takes what it is that we
have that in our life that arethoughts and turns it into
enough, right?
It it reconnects us in in everyaspect of life.
(33:47):
Right.
So all right, guys, that's whatI've got for this episode.
If anything in here you wassuper impactful for you, like
really stuck home, that youreally took a took away with it,
I encourage you to share thiswith another another man, right?
I think that more often peopleneed to to take that pause and
(34:10):
take that inventory to reallystop and think about what it is
that they're they're gratefulfor.
So, and with that, I wouldencourage you like what's one
thing that you're taking awayfrom this episode today that
you're grateful for, right?
And and to to write it down, toshare somebody, you know, share
that with somebody or or send aletter or whatever it might be.
(34:33):
Right.
So the takeaway for today is isto really reconsider your your
habits, right?
Or your mindset aroundgratitude, right?
And and really remember thatit's gratitude is at the
foundation of self-leadershipand self-mastery.
(34:53):
All right, guys, that's whatI've got for today's episode.
I'll see you next time.
Hey, before you go, this podcastis just the surface.
The real work happens inside theEvolve Men Brotherhood.
This is our private community ofmen committed to leading
themselves boldly, buildingconfidence, and sharpening one
another in the fire.
(35:14):
Registration officially opensDecember 1st, and we kick off
our Brotherhood calls togetherbeginning in January 2026.
But you can get on the listtoday and be the first to claim
your spot.
If you're tired of going at lifealone and you're ready for true
accountability, support, andconnection with men who get it,
head to EvolvemenProject.comslash Brotherhood.
(35:35):
Don't just listen, step into theBrotherhood.
I'll see you inside.
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