October 6, 2025 • 19 mins
Silence looks safe until it starts steering your life. We open up about the quiet habits that chip away at self-trust and walk through a grounded path to speak with clarity—even when your voice shakes. From the subtle “agreeable” mask to the invisible backpack of unspoken words, we unpack how fear of rejection, keeping the peace, and the easy‑going identity trap keep men small, and why honest expression is not drama—it’s leadership.
We lay out a simple, repeatable drill to break the cycle: name the avoided truth, surface the story that’s blocking it, reality‑check the fear, and voice the need imperfectly. You’ll hear how small moments—stating a preference, setting a boundary, asking for what matters—become votes for a new identity: a man who leads with truth. Along the way, we explore how clarity changes marriage dynamics, models courage for kids, and earns respect at work and with friends. People may not always agree, but they will feel the difference when you show up without the hidden resentment and speak from alignment.
If you’re ready to trade short‑term comfort for long‑term freedom, this conversation gives you practical language, mindset reframes, and the confidence to act today. And if you want a safe place to practice, the Evolved Men Brotherhood offers real accountability and honest reps with men on the same path. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and tell us: what truth will you speak today?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Are you ready to break free from hesitation,
self-doubt, and isolation?
Do you want to lead withconfidence, build powerful
connections, and live boldly?
I'm Corey Baum, and I'm here toshare the most impactful
strategies and mindsets thatI've learned through coaching,
leadership, and real-worldexperience.
Together we'll forge unshakableconfidence, master social
(00:24):
dynamics, and create a liferooted in purpose, brotherhood,
and bold action.
Inside, you'll get the tools andinsights to become the
strongest, most connectedversion of yourself.
Let's dive in.
So, you know, for me, this thiswhole thing about speaking up
(00:48):
isn't just an idea.
It's it's been my life, right?
It's it's a pattern that I'vewrestled with for years.
I didn't start with some likebig dramatic moment where I
thought that, you know, if I ifI said anything, I'll lose
everything.
It was smaller than that.
It was it was the little stuff.
It was the micro moments ofswallowing my words or telling
(01:12):
myself that it's not worth it,right?
To just let it go.
And at first, for me, you know,it felt harmless, right?
You avoid a little disagreement,you you skip saying what it is
that you need just to smoothsomething over.
But but what I didn't realizealong the way was that every
single one of those moments waslike I was casting a vote
(01:36):
against myself, right?
A vote that said that that myopinion didn't matter, right?
That it was better for me tojust stay quiet and disappear.
And the thing is that those tinyvotes they had up over time.
And so in my marriage, it itbuilt slowly, right?
At first, it was it was just thesmall things.
(01:57):
It was it was a preference abouthow we spent money or a concern
about our schedules, right?
Or a thought about how we wereraising the kids, right?
Things that felt like yeah, youknow, it's it's not a big deal.
But over time, those littlesilences turned into this story
in my head that that man, if I,if I say anything, like
(02:20):
everything could really blow up.
unknown (02:23):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
And that's the crazy part, is that that story wasn't
true in the beginning, right?
But because I I kept reinforcingit, it grew until even the small
things felt catastrophic for meto bring up.
You know, on on the outside,right, I wore this mask, right?
(02:44):
I looked steady, I told myselfthat I was keeping the peace,
but underneath it, it felt likeI was hauling around this this
invisible backpack full ofunspoken words, right?
And every time that I stayedsilent, another rock went into
the bag, another rock ofresentment, another rock of
(03:04):
self-doubt until you know, overtime, like it was crushing.
And here's the thing my my wifeat the time, she didn't sign up
for that shit, right?
She had no idea that I wascarrying it all.
All she was, all she saw was mebeing agreeable, right?
She didn't know what was goingon inside my head, but I did.
(03:28):
Right.
And and the turning point for mehas been learning the contrast,
right?
That the times since then when Idid speak up, where I said,
like, no, man, this this doesn'twork for me, right?
Or here's what I really want.
Even when it was awkward, evenwhen my my voice shook, every
(03:50):
single time that I walked away,lighter, more confident, more in
alignment with myself.
And the biggest surprise is thatpeople respected it.
You know, people might not havenecessarily agreed, but they
still respected it.
And it was almost never thedisaster that I had built up in
(04:12):
my head.
Most of the time it was just aconversation, sometimes even a
short one, right?
And often the other personactually appreciated it.
Speaking up, even in small ways,has been like slowly emptying
that backpack for me, taking therocks out one by one, right?
And and what that unlocked forme is a sense of self-trust,
(04:36):
right?
This deep knowing that I canwalk into any situation because
I can say no if I need to.
And that's freedom, right?
And it changes how peopleexperience me too.
Because now, when I show up,they know that I'm there because
I want to be, not because I'msilently carrying resentment,
(04:58):
right?
They know that they're gettingthe real me.
All right.
So today we're talking aboutspeaking your truth, even when
it's uncomfortable.
Because every time that you holdback, you chip away at your own
self-trust.
But every time that you speakup, even if it's messy, you
prove to yourself that you canlead yourself.
(05:22):
So let's dig into why men staysilent.
Because this isn't just aboutit's not just about me, right?
It's a pattern that I see inalmost every man that I talk to.
The first battle is the is thefear of rejection, right?
It's that little voice thatsays, man, if I if I speak up,
(05:44):
I'm gonna lose something, right?
And and at first, it's notnecessarily that heavy.
Maybe it's about where you wantto eat or how you feel about
plans this weekend, right?
And you think like, ah, youknow, it's it's just not worth
it.
But the thing is that every timethat you swallow it, your brain
learns it's like, see, I toldyou, man, staying staying quiet
(06:08):
keeps me safe, right?
And then and those littlechoices add up over time.
And even the smallestconversations feel like they'll
cost you everything.
The the second thing is the thefear of rocking the boat.
Right.
We we tell ourselves that it'seasier to keep the peace.
But the truth is that silencedoesn't actually create peace.
(06:32):
It just avoids the discomfort,right?
It keeps things calm on thesurface while underneath, right,
the the resentment and thefrustration, they just keep
piling up.
So what you're really doing istrading short-term comfort for
this this like long-term pain.
(06:55):
And then there's the identitytrap, right?
So many of us get locked intobeing the easy-going guy, right?
I know that I did for years, theguy who who never causes any
problems, and and peoplecompliment us for that, right?
I man, Corey, he's he's sosteady, he's easy to get along
with, and and sure, that feelsgood, but it becomes this box
(07:18):
that you can't get out ofeventually, right?
Because now speaking up feelslike like you're breaking
character, right?
Like you're betraying whoeverybody knows that you're
supposed to be.
So those are the battles, right?
And they're they're internal,they're no one else sees them,
but they shape everything.
(07:39):
And here's the truth thatsilence has a cost.
And every time that you stayquiet, you're carrying another
rock in that invisible backpack,another unspoken word, another
piece of yourself gets pusheddown.
That's resentment, right?
And it gets heavy over time.
(07:59):
So silence also numbs you.
And after a while, you don't youdon't even know what you want
anymore.
You've trained yourself so wellto ignore your voice that it
barely even shows up.
And the biggest cost, right, isis that silence weakens your
self-leadership.
Because how can you lead yourfamily, your friends, your kids,
(08:22):
your team if you can't even leadyourself into an honest
five-minute conversation?
So let's flip this around alittle bit, right?
Expression isn't drama, it'sleadership.
When you speak up, you'releading yourself.
You're saying, Man, I I matterenough to have a voice, and
(08:47):
that's self-leadership.
When you speak up with apartner, you're leading them too
because you're showing them whoyou really are instead of making
them guess.
You're inviting them into a realrelationship, not just a
performance.
When you speak up with yourkids, you're you're modeling
(09:08):
something that they desperatelyneed to see.
You're showing them that being aman doesn't mean being silent or
swallowing your truth.
It means having the courage touse your voice in a grounded
way.
Right.
And when you speak up withfriends or at work, right,
you're stepping into influencebecause people respect someone
(09:30):
who will actually take a stand,even if it's uncomfortable.
Right?
Nobody trusts the guy who alwaysnods along, but people respect
the guy who's clear about wherehe stands.
And the alternative here istaking the back seat, right?
It's handing the wheel of yourlife to someone else.
(09:51):
Because silence isn't strength,right?
Silence is surrender.
And here's what's wild, right?
Is that you don't have to do itperfectly, right?
You don't have to have the bestwords or the smoothest delivery.
Even fumbling through it buildsmore trust than saying nothing
at all.
Because silence isself-betrayal, but speaking even
(10:15):
imperfectly is alignment.
So so much of this comes down tothe stories that we tell
ourselves, right?
We think that, man, if I justsay this, it'll ruin everything,
right?
Or or we believe that that thisis just how I'm supposed to be,
right?
I'm the easy-going guy.
(10:36):
But when you zoom out, you cansee that it's it's not really
the situation itself that'skeeping you quiet.
It's the story that you'veattached to.
Right.
And those stories, they're notthe truth, right?
They're just thoughts thatyou've repeated enough times to
believe.
Right.
When you start to see that, thenthe grip starts to loosen,
(10:58):
right?
And you realize that, man, Idon't, I don't have to keep
following that script.
I can actually, I can actuallychoose a different one.
Right.
And that's the reframe thatspeaking up isn't risky, right?
It's really the safest move thatyou can make because it builds
trust in yourself.
And trust is what is what thepeople around you, right?
(11:22):
That's that's leadership andaction.
All right, so let's make thisreal, guys.
I want you to take a secondright now and to think about
what's the thing that you'vebeen holding back?
Maybe it's a boundary that youhaven't set.
Maybe it's a truth that you'veswallowed.
Maybe it's something that you'verehearsed in your head a dozen
(11:44):
times, but neck never actuallysaid it out loud.
All right, if you got it, I wantyou to hold on to that for a
minute.
All right, now here's what Iwant you to notice.
What's the story that you'retelling yourself about why you
can't say it?
Maybe it's if I bring this up,she'll leave, right?
(12:06):
Or if I say this, he won'trespect me.
Or maybe it's softer, like, uh,you know, it's just not worth
the fight.
I'll just let it go.
And really listen to that voice.
Because here's the truth thosethoughts aren't facts.
Sure, they feel heavy, right?
They feel real, but they're nottruth.
(12:27):
They're just stories that yourbrain has been rehearsing for
years.
So imagine pausing right there,right?
Before you react, before youswallow it down again, just
pause.
Right, and take inventory andask yourself, what's what's
actually happening in thismoment?
(12:48):
What's real?
And what's a story that I'vebuilt up in my head?
Because nine times out of ten,the reality is a lot smaller
than the story.
Now here's the second step.
Imagine that you said that yousaid it, right?
Not perfectly, not with theright tone, not with a clean,
polished speech, but justhonestly.
(13:10):
What would shift?
Would the world end?
Probably not.
Would the other person suddenlyhate you?
I doubt it.
Most likely it's just aconversation.
And even if it's awkward, evenif your voice shakes, right, you
walk away lighter.
You walk away with more trust inyourself.
(13:32):
So picture that.
You actually saying it.
Feel the difference in yourbody, the relief of putting down
that backpack that you've beencarrying.
And then ask yourself who wouldI be if I stopped outsourcing my
power to fear?
(13:53):
Who would I be if I startedtrusting my voice instead of
silencing it?
And that's the work.
That's the practice.
So here's the application foryou right now.
Take that thing that you thoughtof earlier, the boundary, the
truth, the ask, whatever it was,and release it somehow today.
(14:16):
Speak it out loud to the person.
Or if that feels like too big ofa leap, then write it down.
Right?
Say it to yourself in themirror, right?
Send the message if if you'reready, right?
But whatever form it takes, justdon't carry it.
Because the moment that youvoice it, even if it's messy,
(14:37):
you reclaim your power.
And that's how you startbuilding the muscle of
self-trust.
And that's how you lead.
All right, guys.
So let's loom out zoom out for asecond, right?
Because here's the truth silenceisn't strength, right?
It's not stoicism, it's notself-control, it's surrender,
(14:59):
right?
It's handing the wheel of yourlife over to fear and just
letting it drive, right?
Real strength, real strength issaying the thing that you've
been avoiding, even when yourvoice shakes, real strength is
choosing to be honest instead ofsafe.
Right?
Because every time that youspeak your truth, you're not
(15:22):
just having a conversation,you're casting a vote for the
man that you're becoming.
You're saying, like, you knowwhat, man, I trust myself.
I trust my voice, and I matterenough to take up space here.
And that's the shift.
That's leadership.
When you speak up, you leadyourself because you're proving
(15:43):
to yourself that you're worthlistening to.
You lead others because you'regiving them the gift of clarity
instead of guessing games,right?
And you lead your family, yourfriends, your community because
you're modeling what it lookslike to live aligned, not
hidden.
unknown (16:01):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (16:01):
And the alternative is taking the back seat, right?
Letting silence run the show.
And you already know where thatleads.
Resentment, numbness, a slowerosion of your self-trust.
So here's my challenge for youpick one thing, just one, that
you've been avoiding a truth, aboundary, and ask, and I want
(16:24):
you to speak it today.
Not perfectly, not polished,just honestly.
Because when you do that, you'renot just getting something off
your chest.
You're declaring to yourselfthat I'm a man who leads with
truth.
And that identity shift, that'severything.
And look, here's the thing (16:44):
you don't have to do this practice
alone.
Right?
Part of part of speaking yourtruth is having a place where
it's safe to practice, right?
A place where you can lay it outunpolished, maybe even messy,
and see that the world doesn'tend, right?
That in fact, men lean in,right?
(17:04):
They nod and they say, like,yeah, man, you know what?
Me too.
Right.
That's what the Evolved MenBrotherhood is all about, right?
It's a space where you you don'thave to carry the backpack by
yourself anymore, right?
Where you get to practice usingyour voice in front of other men
who are doing the same work.
And you'll see really quicklythat it's not as scary as you
(17:24):
your as your head makes it outto be, that it's actually
freeing.
Right.
So if you're listening to thisand you're ready to stop hiding
behind silence and start showingup with truth, I'd love to
invite you into the brotherhood.
And if you're not sure if it'sthe right step, that's okay too.
Right?
You can book a free discoverycall with me, no pressure, just
a real conversation about whereyou're at and what shifts might
(17:48):
be possible for you when youstart leading with your voice.
So here's the reminder that Iwant to leave you with.
When you silence yourself, youlose yourself.
But when you speak, even if yourvoice shakes, even if it's
clumsy, even if it's just awhisper, you come back online,
(18:08):
you reconnect with your ownstrength, right?
Your own truth, your ownleadership.
That one act of honesty is howyou take the weight off of your
pack.
Right?
It's how you trade resentmentfor freedom, numbness, for
clarity, right?
Silence for self-trust.
(18:30):
So this week, choose courage,say the thing, take up space,
and trust your voice.
You got this.
I'll see you next time on theEvolve Men podcast.
Hey, before you go, this podcastis just the surface.
The real work happens inside theEvolved Men Brotherhood.
(18:51):
This is our private community ofmen committed to leading
themselves boldly, buildingconfidence, and sharpening one
another in the fire.
Registration officially opensDecember 1st, and we kick off
our Brotherhood calls togetherbeginning in January 2026.
But you can get on the listtoday and be the first to claim
your spot.
If you're tired of going to lifealone and you're ready for true
(19:12):
accountability, support, andconnection with men who get it,
head to EvolvementProject.comslash Brotherhood.
Don't just listen, step into theBrotherhood.
I'll see you inside.
Are you ready to break free from hesitation,
self-doubt, and isolation?
Do you want to lead withconfidence, build powerful
connections, and live boldly?
I'm Corey Baum, and I'm here toshare the most impactful
strategies and mindsets thatI've learned through coaching,
leadership, and real-worldexperience.
Together we'll forge unshakableconfidence, master social
(00:24):
dynamics, and create a liferooted in purpose, brotherhood,
and bold action.
Inside, you'll get the tools andinsights to become the
strongest, most connectedversion of yourself.
Let's dive in.
So, you know, for me, this thiswhole thing about speaking up
(00:48):
isn't just an idea.
It's it's been my life, right?
It's it's a pattern that I'vewrestled with for years.
I didn't start with some likebig dramatic moment where I
thought that, you know, if I ifI said anything, I'll lose
everything.
It was smaller than that.
It was it was the little stuff.
It was the micro moments ofswallowing my words or telling
(01:12):
myself that it's not worth it,right?
To just let it go.
And at first, for me, you know,it felt harmless, right?
You avoid a little disagreement,you you skip saying what it is
that you need just to smoothsomething over.
But but what I didn't realizealong the way was that every
single one of those moments waslike I was casting a vote
(01:36):
against myself, right?
A vote that said that that myopinion didn't matter, right?
That it was better for me tojust stay quiet and disappear.
And the thing is that those tinyvotes they had up over time.
And so in my marriage, it itbuilt slowly, right?
At first, it was it was just thesmall things.
(01:57):
It was it was a preference abouthow we spent money or a concern
about our schedules, right?
Or a thought about how we wereraising the kids, right?
Things that felt like yeah, youknow, it's it's not a big deal.
But over time, those littlesilences turned into this story
in my head that that man, if I,if I say anything, like
(02:20):
everything could really blow up.
unknown (02:23):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
And that's the crazy part, is that that story wasn't
true in the beginning, right?
But because I I kept reinforcingit, it grew until even the small
things felt catastrophic for meto bring up.
You know, on on the outside,right, I wore this mask, right?
(02:44):
I looked steady, I told myselfthat I was keeping the peace,
but underneath it, it felt likeI was hauling around this this
invisible backpack full ofunspoken words, right?
And every time that I stayedsilent, another rock went into
the bag, another rock ofresentment, another rock of
(03:04):
self-doubt until you know, overtime, like it was crushing.
And here's the thing my my wifeat the time, she didn't sign up
for that shit, right?
She had no idea that I wascarrying it all.
All she was, all she saw was mebeing agreeable, right?
She didn't know what was goingon inside my head, but I did.
(03:28):
Right.
And and the turning point for mehas been learning the contrast,
right?
That the times since then when Idid speak up, where I said,
like, no, man, this this doesn'twork for me, right?
Or here's what I really want.
Even when it was awkward, evenwhen my my voice shook, every
(03:50):
single time that I walked away,lighter, more confident, more in
alignment with myself.
And the biggest surprise is thatpeople respected it.
You know, people might not havenecessarily agreed, but they
still respected it.
And it was almost never thedisaster that I had built up in
(04:12):
my head.
Most of the time it was just aconversation, sometimes even a
short one, right?
And often the other personactually appreciated it.
Speaking up, even in small ways,has been like slowly emptying
that backpack for me, taking therocks out one by one, right?
And and what that unlocked forme is a sense of self-trust,
(04:36):
right?
This deep knowing that I canwalk into any situation because
I can say no if I need to.
And that's freedom, right?
And it changes how peopleexperience me too.
Because now, when I show up,they know that I'm there because
I want to be, not because I'msilently carrying resentment,
(04:58):
right?
They know that they're gettingthe real me.
All right.
So today we're talking aboutspeaking your truth, even when
it's uncomfortable.
Because every time that you holdback, you chip away at your own
self-trust.
But every time that you speakup, even if it's messy, you
prove to yourself that you canlead yourself.
(05:22):
So let's dig into why men staysilent.
Because this isn't just aboutit's not just about me, right?
It's a pattern that I see inalmost every man that I talk to.
The first battle is the is thefear of rejection, right?
It's that little voice thatsays, man, if I if I speak up,
(05:44):
I'm gonna lose something, right?
And and at first, it's notnecessarily that heavy.
Maybe it's about where you wantto eat or how you feel about
plans this weekend, right?
And you think like, ah, youknow, it's it's just not worth
it.
But the thing is that every timethat you swallow it, your brain
learns it's like, see, I toldyou, man, staying staying quiet
(06:08):
keeps me safe, right?
And then and those littlechoices add up over time.
And even the smallestconversations feel like they'll
cost you everything.
The the second thing is the thefear of rocking the boat.
Right.
We we tell ourselves that it'seasier to keep the peace.
But the truth is that silencedoesn't actually create peace.
(06:32):
It just avoids the discomfort,right?
It keeps things calm on thesurface while underneath, right,
the the resentment and thefrustration, they just keep
piling up.
So what you're really doing istrading short-term comfort for
this this like long-term pain.
(06:55):
And then there's the identitytrap, right?
So many of us get locked intobeing the easy-going guy, right?
I know that I did for years, theguy who who never causes any
problems, and and peoplecompliment us for that, right?
I man, Corey, he's he's sosteady, he's easy to get along
with, and and sure, that feelsgood, but it becomes this box
(07:18):
that you can't get out ofeventually, right?
Because now speaking up feelslike like you're breaking
character, right?
Like you're betraying whoeverybody knows that you're
supposed to be.
So those are the battles, right?
And they're they're internal,they're no one else sees them,
but they shape everything.
(07:39):
And here's the truth thatsilence has a cost.
And every time that you stayquiet, you're carrying another
rock in that invisible backpack,another unspoken word, another
piece of yourself gets pusheddown.
That's resentment, right?
And it gets heavy over time.
(07:59):
So silence also numbs you.
And after a while, you don't youdon't even know what you want
anymore.
You've trained yourself so wellto ignore your voice that it
barely even shows up.
And the biggest cost, right, isis that silence weakens your
self-leadership.
Because how can you lead yourfamily, your friends, your kids,
(08:22):
your team if you can't even leadyourself into an honest
five-minute conversation?
So let's flip this around alittle bit, right?
Expression isn't drama, it'sleadership.
When you speak up, you'releading yourself.
You're saying, Man, I I matterenough to have a voice, and
(08:47):
that's self-leadership.
When you speak up with apartner, you're leading them too
because you're showing them whoyou really are instead of making
them guess.
You're inviting them into a realrelationship, not just a
performance.
When you speak up with yourkids, you're you're modeling
(09:08):
something that they desperatelyneed to see.
You're showing them that being aman doesn't mean being silent or
swallowing your truth.
It means having the courage touse your voice in a grounded
way.
Right.
And when you speak up withfriends or at work, right,
you're stepping into influencebecause people respect someone
(09:30):
who will actually take a stand,even if it's uncomfortable.
Right?
Nobody trusts the guy who alwaysnods along, but people respect
the guy who's clear about wherehe stands.
And the alternative here istaking the back seat, right?
It's handing the wheel of yourlife to someone else.
(09:51):
Because silence isn't strength,right?
Silence is surrender.
And here's what's wild, right?
Is that you don't have to do itperfectly, right?
You don't have to have the bestwords or the smoothest delivery.
Even fumbling through it buildsmore trust than saying nothing
at all.
Because silence isself-betrayal, but speaking even
(10:15):
imperfectly is alignment.
So so much of this comes down tothe stories that we tell
ourselves, right?
We think that, man, if I justsay this, it'll ruin everything,
right?
Or or we believe that that thisis just how I'm supposed to be,
right?
I'm the easy-going guy.
(10:36):
But when you zoom out, you cansee that it's it's not really
the situation itself that'skeeping you quiet.
It's the story that you'veattached to.
Right.
And those stories, they're notthe truth, right?
They're just thoughts thatyou've repeated enough times to
believe.
Right.
When you start to see that, thenthe grip starts to loosen,
(10:58):
right?
And you realize that, man, Idon't, I don't have to keep
following that script.
I can actually, I can actuallychoose a different one.
Right.
And that's the reframe thatspeaking up isn't risky, right?
It's really the safest move thatyou can make because it builds
trust in yourself.
And trust is what is what thepeople around you, right?
(11:22):
That's that's leadership andaction.
All right, so let's make thisreal, guys.
I want you to take a secondright now and to think about
what's the thing that you'vebeen holding back?
Maybe it's a boundary that youhaven't set.
Maybe it's a truth that you'veswallowed.
Maybe it's something that you'verehearsed in your head a dozen
(11:44):
times, but neck never actuallysaid it out loud.
All right, if you got it, I wantyou to hold on to that for a
minute.
All right, now here's what Iwant you to notice.
What's the story that you'retelling yourself about why you
can't say it?
Maybe it's if I bring this up,she'll leave, right?
(12:06):
Or if I say this, he won'trespect me.
Or maybe it's softer, like, uh,you know, it's just not worth
the fight.
I'll just let it go.
And really listen to that voice.
Because here's the truth thosethoughts aren't facts.
Sure, they feel heavy, right?
They feel real, but they're nottruth.
(12:27):
They're just stories that yourbrain has been rehearsing for
years.
So imagine pausing right there,right?
Before you react, before youswallow it down again, just
pause.
Right, and take inventory andask yourself, what's what's
actually happening in thismoment?
(12:48):
What's real?
And what's a story that I'vebuilt up in my head?
Because nine times out of ten,the reality is a lot smaller
than the story.
Now here's the second step.
Imagine that you said that yousaid it, right?
Not perfectly, not with theright tone, not with a clean,
polished speech, but justhonestly.
(13:10):
What would shift?
Would the world end?
Probably not.
Would the other person suddenlyhate you?
I doubt it.
Most likely it's just aconversation.
And even if it's awkward, evenif your voice shakes, right, you
walk away lighter.
You walk away with more trust inyourself.
(13:32):
So picture that.
You actually saying it.
Feel the difference in yourbody, the relief of putting down
that backpack that you've beencarrying.
And then ask yourself who wouldI be if I stopped outsourcing my
power to fear?
(13:53):
Who would I be if I startedtrusting my voice instead of
silencing it?
And that's the work.
That's the practice.
So here's the application foryou right now.
Take that thing that you thoughtof earlier, the boundary, the
truth, the ask, whatever it was,and release it somehow today.
(14:16):
Speak it out loud to the person.
Or if that feels like too big ofa leap, then write it down.
Right?
Say it to yourself in themirror, right?
Send the message if if you'reready, right?
But whatever form it takes, justdon't carry it.
Because the moment that youvoice it, even if it's messy,
(14:37):
you reclaim your power.
And that's how you startbuilding the muscle of
self-trust.
And that's how you lead.
All right, guys.
So let's loom out zoom out for asecond, right?
Because here's the truth silenceisn't strength, right?
It's not stoicism, it's notself-control, it's surrender,
(14:59):
right?
It's handing the wheel of yourlife over to fear and just
letting it drive, right?
Real strength, real strength issaying the thing that you've
been avoiding, even when yourvoice shakes, real strength is
choosing to be honest instead ofsafe.
Right?
Because every time that youspeak your truth, you're not
(15:22):
just having a conversation,you're casting a vote for the
man that you're becoming.
You're saying, like, you knowwhat, man, I trust myself.
I trust my voice, and I matterenough to take up space here.
And that's the shift.
That's leadership.
When you speak up, you leadyourself because you're proving
(15:43):
to yourself that you're worthlistening to.
You lead others because you'regiving them the gift of clarity
instead of guessing games,right?
And you lead your family, yourfriends, your community because
you're modeling what it lookslike to live aligned, not
hidden.
unknown (16:01):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (16:01):
And the alternative is taking the back seat, right?
Letting silence run the show.
And you already know where thatleads.
Resentment, numbness, a slowerosion of your self-trust.
So here's my challenge for youpick one thing, just one, that
you've been avoiding a truth, aboundary, and ask, and I want
(16:24):
you to speak it today.
Not perfectly, not polished,just honestly.
Because when you do that, you'renot just getting something off
your chest.
You're declaring to yourselfthat I'm a man who leads with
truth.
And that identity shift, that'severything.
And look, here's the thing (16:44):
you don't have to do this practice
alone.
Right?
Part of part of speaking yourtruth is having a place where
it's safe to practice, right?
A place where you can lay it outunpolished, maybe even messy,
and see that the world doesn'tend, right?
That in fact, men lean in,right?
(17:04):
They nod and they say, like,yeah, man, you know what?
Me too.
Right.
That's what the Evolved MenBrotherhood is all about, right?
It's a space where you you don'thave to carry the backpack by
yourself anymore, right?
Where you get to practice usingyour voice in front of other men
who are doing the same work.
And you'll see really quicklythat it's not as scary as you
(17:24):
your as your head makes it outto be, that it's actually
freeing.
Right.
So if you're listening to thisand you're ready to stop hiding
behind silence and start showingup with truth, I'd love to
invite you into the brotherhood.
And if you're not sure if it'sthe right step, that's okay too.
Right?
You can book a free discoverycall with me, no pressure, just
a real conversation about whereyou're at and what shifts might
(17:48):
be possible for you when youstart leading with your voice.
So here's the reminder that Iwant to leave you with.
When you silence yourself, youlose yourself.
But when you speak, even if yourvoice shakes, even if it's
clumsy, even if it's just awhisper, you come back online,
(18:08):
you reconnect with your ownstrength, right?
Your own truth, your ownleadership.
That one act of honesty is howyou take the weight off of your
pack.
Right?
It's how you trade resentmentfor freedom, numbness, for
clarity, right?
Silence for self-trust.
(18:30):
So this week, choose courage,say the thing, take up space,
and trust your voice.
You got this.
I'll see you next time on theEvolve Men podcast.
Hey, before you go, this podcastis just the surface.
The real work happens inside theEvolved Men Brotherhood.
(18:51):
This is our private community ofmen committed to leading
themselves boldly, buildingconfidence, and sharpening one
another in the fire.
Registration officially opensDecember 1st, and we kick off
our Brotherhood calls togetherbeginning in January 2026.
But you can get on the listtoday and be the first to claim
your spot.
If you're tired of going to lifealone and you're ready for true
(19:12):
accountability, support, andconnection with men who get it,
head to EvolvementProject.comslash Brotherhood.
Don't just listen, step into theBrotherhood.
I'll see you inside.
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