October 20, 2025 • 19 mins
Ever notice how a compliment can make you want to disappear? We’ve been there. Today we unpack the quiet habit of playing small—why we downshift our wins, call it humility, and end up living like shadows in our own lives. The story starts with a raw moment on stage: hundreds of men, hard truths shared, an outpouring of gratitude, and the sudden urge to hide. From that tension comes a reframe that changes everything.
We draw a clear line between ego and ownership. Ego performs for validation and needs applause to feel worthy. Ownership is steady and factual. It says, I did the work, this is who I am, without making anyone else less. That grounded strength is magnetic. It shows up in leadership, fatherhood, partnership, and community because people trust congruence. We explore how deflecting praise erodes self-trust, why the nervous system resists being seen, and how small daily choices teach your brain whether your efforts count.
You’ll get practical tools to move from shrinking to alignment: a strengths inventory grounded in proof, asking trusted friends for honest mirrors, receiving compliments with a clean thank you, and swapping minimizing language for clear statements. We also share a weekly “ownership rep” to help you speak one truth where you’d usually soften it. The goal isn’t to be louder; it’s to be real—right-sized, not oversized. Confidence isn’t a trophy you earn later; it’s a posture you can claim now by acting in line with what’s already true.
If you’re ready to stop muting your presence and start leading from your core, press play and take the first step. Then share one strength you’ll own this week. Subscribe, leave a review so more men can find this work, and pass it to a brother who needs the reminder to stand tall.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Men, before we dive in, I've got something big to
share with you.
The wait list for the Evolve MenBrotherhood is now open.
This is the space where men stopdoing the work alone.
Inside the Brotherhood, you'llconnect weekly with other men
committed to growth, leadership,and living with purpose.
You'll get access to live calls,courses, and the community that
(00:24):
keeps you accountable when lifegets hard.
Registration opens soon.
Join the wait list now atEvolvemen Project.com/slash
brotherhood and be a part of themovement.
So today I wanted to talk abouta tendency that I noticed in
(00:48):
myself years ago.
And then since then, I noticedoften in a lot of the men, men
around me, the men that I workwith, right, just really kind of
all over this place.
And it's it's this tendency forus to downplay our our
strengths, right?
To to shrink back and reserveourselves and giving away our
(01:09):
powers and our leadership toother people, right?
And and what this isn't about,this isn't about being more
arrogant, right?
This is about claiming ownershipfor who it is that we are and
the inherent strengths that wedo have, the things that we've
(01:31):
worked for in our lives, right?
And and really, reallyremembering, right, that for us
to really like revisit and re-idre-examine, right, why it is
maybe at times that we're tryingto to qualify ourselves as
people, right?
(01:51):
Why are to to stop shrinkingback, right?
And to really start leading froma place of strength.
So this pattern comes up in in alot of different ways, right?
But some of the ones that mightbe familiar for you is a
tendency to to brush off thecompliments, right?
Or at times downplaying effortor or successes or things that
(02:16):
you've you've accomplished,right?
Really like taking this backseat to owning what it is that
that you've done, right?
Maybe at times it's deflectingthe the recognition, right, that
others are giving you, stayingagreeable instead of truly
authentic, right?
That it's it's this underlyinglike belief, right, or rule that
(02:40):
we have ourselves that it thatmaybe if I if I actually own my
power, that I'll be too much foreverybody, right?
That if I if I shine toobrightly, that others will feel
feel small.
Right.
And so the thing is, is thatthese beliefs are they're
(03:01):
they're a way that your mind iskind of protecting you or
protecting itself, right?
And a a way of a way for you tostay safe and not actually seen.
Right.
And so this came up for me yearsago, and it was something in the
moment that had a really bigimpact then and it continues to
(03:23):
every day.
And so at the time, I had beenasked to to speak to a group of
men, right?
And it was a group of men that Iwas a part of, and I had been a
part of for quite a long time,but I was it was at an event and
I was asked to come up on stageand uh and speak to them about
my journey and my experiencesand the things that I've
struggled with and how I kind ofover overcome them over time and
(03:44):
and the challenges that I had.
And so there was probably I wantto say there was probably like
300 men in the room that day.
And during the time that I wasup there on stage, like I
walking to them through myjourney and and whatnot, like I
shared with them things that Ihad never shared with anybody
besides my therapist up untilthat point.
Right.
And we had we had a really itwas, I think, therapeutic both
(04:09):
for me in that moment and andyou know, afterwards, from what
I the feedback that I got, likeit was it was really memorable
for everybody else as well.
And I'll kind of leave out thedetails for my own, my own sake.
But really what I took away fromit at the end of it was that
when I when I stepped off thatstage afterwards, I had I don't
know how many men that werecoming up to me and were
(04:31):
thanking me for sharing my storyand for being vulnerable, right?
It's so many of them weresharing with me like how much
how similar it sounded to theirown struggles and their own
journey and the things thatthey've had challenges with in
the past, right?
Just time and time again wherethese men were were sharing this
and with every single personthat came up to me, like I just
(04:53):
wanted to get smaller andsmaller and smaller, right?
To the point where I was like, Ijust want to get out of here.
I want to go in the bathroom andI just want to be away from
everybody because it was thissense that that I wasn't worthy
of any of it, right?
That I hadn't actually donethose things, that I hadn't put
in the work, right?
(05:14):
And it it was almost like withevery and with every person that
came up, right, was anotherperson that was was seeing me.
I mean, I know that I was up onstage and I don't know that I
really thought through it in themoment, right?
But I I think I kind of came tolearn after the fact that I
didn't want to be seen, right?
Being seen was being vulnerable,right?
(05:37):
That there was a possibility.
I mean, in the same sense,there's somebody that could have
come up come up there and toldme, like, hey man, you're a
piece of shit.
And and I think it's that sortof reaction that maybe I was
trying to avoid in the moment.
But the reality is that that'slike that's not what's
necessarily going to happen.
And so with that event and andwith a lot of others in my
(05:58):
lives, right?
A lot of the things that I'veseen is that we it's easy or it
can be at times to step backfrom owning who it is that we
are and our experiences andmaybe the our strengths, right?
Sure, maybe maybe I was at adifferent point in my journey
(06:18):
compared to somebody else thatwas just starting their journey.
And to them, they look at me andthey're like, wow, this is
amazing.
This guy's done all this work.
But for me in those moments,that I wanted to step back
because I didn't want that sortof person.
And it's not just in that event,but in other events in my life,
like I stepped back because Ididn't want that person to feel
(06:43):
like they were too little,right?
I was afraid that if I was, if Iwas to say exactly who it is
that I was, or the things thatI've I've done, or the things
that I've believed in, that Iwould be too much.
And then I had this black andwhite thinking that it was
either one or the other.
I was either too much, right, orI would get the feedback that I
(07:04):
was not enough.
Right.
And that, and so along the way,and this is what I've come to
really learn over the years, isthat there's a real cost that
comes with playing small.
And it's not always evident.
Matter of fact, like I don'tknow that I would say it's
really ever evident, for me atleast in the moment.
(07:26):
Right.
That it's one of these sort ofthings, you know, as I've talked
about time and time again, it'slike these votes, right?
Or these death by a thousandcuts that every time we don't
allow ourselves to to say who itis that we are to be proud of
that, right?
And to embody that and to sharethat with people, that that's
(07:47):
also a vote internally that wethat we didn't do those things,
that we're not worthy of sharingthat sort of stuff with the
world, right?
That yeah, and so it it kind ofbrings up for me as I think
about it, right?
I I've got two kids, and I thinkof an example, you know, where
(08:11):
it kind of happens for us in ourmind that it would be like my my
kids, right?
That are, you know, seven andeleven.
And it's like me, them coming upto me and being like, hey dad,
I, you know, I just went out anddid this, you know, it and me,
you know, either putting themdown or kind of taking that away
(08:33):
from them, right?
And over and over and overagain, like taking that away,
eventually they're going tothey're not gonna bring it up,
right?
They're not going to be proud ofit, they're not going to know
that they can do the hardthings, right?
Because they never talk aboutit.
It was never worthy of beingtalked about.
(08:54):
Because every time that I cameto dad, he shut me down.
He stopped me, right?
He he said, Hey, hey, hey,don't, don't tell the other boys
that that you know you're agreat snowboarder, right?
Don't don't go over there andyou know, don't don't talk about
how fast of a runner you are,right?
Or any of those sort of things,right?
And it's that just as it couldbe to a five-year-old, there's a
(09:17):
there's a five-year-old thatit's inside of us that needs to
know that it's that you're proudof them for doing these things,
right?
For doing the hard work, doingthe workouts, and that when
you're not giving thatfive-year-old that that internal
part of yourself thatrecognition, then they don't
have anything to to base it on.
(09:38):
So when we look at, right, likeI said, there's a cost of
playing small, and it's notalways up front, right?
It's these sort of things thattear away at us from you know,
internally over and over againover the years.
And that leads to, right, whenwe're not when we don't have
that sense of self-worth andconfidence and self-trust,
(10:02):
right?
It it leads to just, I mean, alot of different things that it
leads to, but really like adiminished or a less than sort
of presence, right?
I mean, sometimes I'll describeit in my life as like having
walked through life like ashadow, right?
Like, I don't want anybody tosee me.
(10:24):
I I don't want to beacknowledged, I'm not really
here, I don't want to take upany space, right?
And that like, how is anybodyever supposed to connect with
somebody that's trying to be ashadow?
Right.
And so it just continues toreaffirm that same sort of
(10:45):
thing.
And so, where do we want to gowith this?
You might ask, right?
And so I would ask you, like,hey, where in your life are the
are some of these things showingup for you right now, right?
Where in your life are you, doyou feel like you're muting your
presence in order to just keepthe peace, right?
To to think ahead maybe in theconversation and be like, well,
(11:07):
if I say that, somebody's goingto think I'm better than them,
right?
Or they'll have any of thesesort of things that that they'll
they'll think, right?
But who do you feel like you'reprotecting by pretending that
you're not powerful?
So if we really kind of switchthis around, I think that that
(11:29):
men have this idea, right, thatownership, right, or that power
is arrogance, right?
That that if I state thesefacts, these things that I've
done, then it's gonna bearrogant.
And I and I don't want to bethat arrogant asshole that
(11:50):
everybody, you know, doesn'tlike.
But the reality is that there'sa difference between ego, right,
which is probably closer to likearrogance, than to ownership,
right?
And ego needs that validation,right?
It's feeding on that sense ofworth and value from other
(12:11):
people, right?
So it's it's boasting, it's it'sdoing these things with the
expectation, you know, theexpectation that other people
are going are going to put themon that sort of pedestal, right?
But ownership, taking ownershipof who you are and the things
that you've done in your life isgrounded, right?
And it's unshakable.
(12:32):
It's just one of those thingsthat are a fact, right?
These are this is the thing thatI signed up for.
I did it, I did the work, andit's not that I'm trying to tell
anybody that I'm better thanthem, that they're less than.
I'm just here, right?
I'm this is something that thatI've done.
(12:55):
This is something of who I am,right?
And yeah, I've I've done thework in order to accomplish
that.
But in that moment, and even inme saying that right now, that's
not trying to say anybody elseis anything else.
And and and I think the thingthat I try to remember for
myself is that everybody isgoing to have a different
(13:15):
perception based on the lifethat they've lived.
And I can't control everybody'slens.
Like I don't know their storyand what they've been through.
And so, but what I can controlis me, right?
And I can speak from the factsand my truth and who it is that
I am.
And as a result of that, like Ican continue to build confidence
(13:38):
and worth and value and strengthin myself that yeah, I did these
things.
I got up in the morning at 5a.m.
and I got in the cold plunge andI did the workout.
That's not to put you down,that's to reaffirm for myself
like the life that I'm buildingand who it is that I want to be.
Right.
(13:58):
So owning your strength isn'tarrogance, right?
It's alignment with who you are.
Right.
And so when when a man startsleading from his true strengths,
(14:19):
right, people recognize that,right?
And and there's a differencefrom a grounded sort of strength
versus an ego sort of strength.
And people see the difference,and people want to follow and be
around and to be led by a manthat is is grounded in his
strengths.
Right.
So as we kind of talk about thisand you think about it, like I I
(14:44):
want you to think for yourself,right?
Like, because all of us have allof us have things that that are
strengths that other peopledon't possess, things that we
do, maybe it's mannerisms or theway that we bring a smile to the
room, or we can always crack ajoke, or whatever it is, but
these are things that are realthat people can't take away from
(15:05):
you.
So I would ask, what are whatare some of those sort of things
that that maybe people have saidto you in the past, that things
that you know for yourself that,hey, I'm really good at this.
And it doesn't even have to bethings that, like, man, I'm
better than everybody else at,but they're like, they are me.
I enjoy this.
(15:26):
This is who I am, right?
And and that's kind of the ideawith this is that we don't have
to shy away from who it is thatwe are, right?
We don't, we don't have topretend that we're that we're
not ourselves.
All right.
So as you're thinking aboutthese sort of things, I
challenge you to to write themdown for yourself, right?
Write it in your journal, youknow, however it is that you do,
(15:50):
but to to really acknowledge thefact that I am this.
These are me.
This is who I am, and that'sokay.
Right?
That I this is who I am at mysoul, right?
And I'm not trying to push thaton anybody or better than or
(16:11):
anything like that, but this isme, and that's something that
I'm proud of.
Right.
I encourage you as well, youknow, to to reach out to
somebody, right?
Brother, a close friend orsomething like that, and to ask
somebody like, hey man, what doyou what do you see in me that
that you feel like I'm reallygood at?
(16:32):
And I think you'll be surprisedat how many things and how
willing people are to share withyou the things that they see in
you that maybe you don't see inyourself.
All right.
So really what I want you totake away from this episode
today is really this permissionto stop waiting to be who it is
(16:57):
that you are, right?
To really take that and embodyit as a strength, right?
And to to recognize and torealize for once that strength
and humility can coexist.
Right?
That that confidence isn'tsomething that you earn, it's
(17:20):
something that you own, right?
Something that you you take foryourself, and it's something
that you you put into practice,right?
So something to kind of takeaway from it is that you don't
have to you don't have to fakeconfidence, right?
You just have to stop pretendingthat you're not already carrying
(17:44):
something valuable, right?
So finding what that is andacknowledging it and recognizing
it and owning for yourself thatthat it's there and that it's
real.
Right.
So this week, as you movethroughout it, right, if you
identify as when you identifysomething, walk around through
(18:06):
the week like it's true, likeit's real.
Right, and and really own itfrom your core.
All right, guys, that's whatI've got for this episode.
Hey, before you go, this podcastis just the surface.
The real work happens inside theEvolve Men Brotherhood.
This is our private community ofmen committed to leading
(18:27):
themselves boldly, buildingconfidence, and sharpening one
another in the fire.
Registration officially opensDecember 1st, and we kick off
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But you can get on the listtoday and be the first to claim
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(18:49):
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Men, before we dive in, I've got something big to
share with you.
The wait list for the Evolve MenBrotherhood is now open.
This is the space where men stopdoing the work alone.
Inside the Brotherhood, you'llconnect weekly with other men
committed to growth, leadership,and living with purpose.
You'll get access to live calls,courses, and the community that
(00:24):
keeps you accountable when lifegets hard.
Registration opens soon.
Join the wait list now atEvolvemen Project.com/slash
brotherhood and be a part of themovement.
So today I wanted to talk abouta tendency that I noticed in
(00:48):
myself years ago.
And then since then, I noticedoften in a lot of the men, men
around me, the men that I workwith, right, just really kind of
all over this place.
And it's it's this tendency forus to downplay our our
strengths, right?
To to shrink back and reserveourselves and giving away our
(01:09):
powers and our leadership toother people, right?
And and what this isn't about,this isn't about being more
arrogant, right?
This is about claiming ownershipfor who it is that we are and
the inherent strengths that wedo have, the things that we've
(01:31):
worked for in our lives, right?
And and really, reallyremembering, right, that for us
to really like revisit and re-idre-examine, right, why it is
maybe at times that we're tryingto to qualify ourselves as
people, right?
(01:51):
Why are to to stop shrinkingback, right?
And to really start leading froma place of strength.
So this pattern comes up in in alot of different ways, right?
But some of the ones that mightbe familiar for you is a
tendency to to brush off thecompliments, right?
Or at times downplaying effortor or successes or things that
(02:16):
you've you've accomplished,right?
Really like taking this backseat to owning what it is that
that you've done, right?
Maybe at times it's deflectingthe the recognition, right, that
others are giving you, stayingagreeable instead of truly
authentic, right?
That it's it's this underlyinglike belief, right, or rule that
(02:40):
we have ourselves that it thatmaybe if I if I actually own my
power, that I'll be too much foreverybody, right?
That if I if I shine toobrightly, that others will feel
feel small.
Right.
And so the thing is, is thatthese beliefs are they're
(03:01):
they're a way that your mind iskind of protecting you or
protecting itself, right?
And a a way of a way for you tostay safe and not actually seen.
Right.
And so this came up for me yearsago, and it was something in the
moment that had a really bigimpact then and it continues to
(03:23):
every day.
And so at the time, I had beenasked to to speak to a group of
men, right?
And it was a group of men that Iwas a part of, and I had been a
part of for quite a long time,but I was it was at an event and
I was asked to come up on stageand uh and speak to them about
my journey and my experiencesand the things that I've
struggled with and how I kind ofover overcome them over time and
(03:44):
and the challenges that I had.
And so there was probably I wantto say there was probably like
300 men in the room that day.
And during the time that I wasup there on stage, like I
walking to them through myjourney and and whatnot, like I
shared with them things that Ihad never shared with anybody
besides my therapist up untilthat point.
Right.
And we had we had a really itwas, I think, therapeutic both
(04:09):
for me in that moment and andyou know, afterwards, from what
I the feedback that I got, likeit was it was really memorable
for everybody else as well.
And I'll kind of leave out thedetails for my own, my own sake.
But really what I took away fromit at the end of it was that
when I when I stepped off thatstage afterwards, I had I don't
know how many men that werecoming up to me and were
(04:31):
thanking me for sharing my storyand for being vulnerable, right?
It's so many of them weresharing with me like how much
how similar it sounded to theirown struggles and their own
journey and the things thatthey've had challenges with in
the past, right?
Just time and time again wherethese men were were sharing this
and with every single personthat came up to me, like I just
(04:53):
wanted to get smaller andsmaller and smaller, right?
To the point where I was like, Ijust want to get out of here.
I want to go in the bathroom andI just want to be away from
everybody because it was thissense that that I wasn't worthy
of any of it, right?
That I hadn't actually donethose things, that I hadn't put
in the work, right?
(05:14):
And it it was almost like withevery and with every person that
came up, right, was anotherperson that was was seeing me.
I mean, I know that I was up onstage and I don't know that I
really thought through it in themoment, right?
But I I think I kind of came tolearn after the fact that I
didn't want to be seen, right?
Being seen was being vulnerable,right?
(05:37):
That there was a possibility.
I mean, in the same sense,there's somebody that could have
come up come up there and toldme, like, hey man, you're a
piece of shit.
And and I think it's that sortof reaction that maybe I was
trying to avoid in the moment.
But the reality is that that'slike that's not what's
necessarily going to happen.
And so with that event and andwith a lot of others in my
(05:58):
lives, right?
A lot of the things that I'veseen is that we it's easy or it
can be at times to step backfrom owning who it is that we
are and our experiences andmaybe the our strengths, right?
Sure, maybe maybe I was at adifferent point in my journey
(06:18):
compared to somebody else thatwas just starting their journey.
And to them, they look at me andthey're like, wow, this is
amazing.
This guy's done all this work.
But for me in those moments,that I wanted to step back
because I didn't want that sortof person.
And it's not just in that event,but in other events in my life,
like I stepped back because Ididn't want that person to feel
(06:43):
like they were too little,right?
I was afraid that if I was, if Iwas to say exactly who it is
that I was, or the things thatI've I've done, or the things
that I've believed in, that Iwould be too much.
And then I had this black andwhite thinking that it was
either one or the other.
I was either too much, right, orI would get the feedback that I
(07:04):
was not enough.
Right.
And that, and so along the way,and this is what I've come to
really learn over the years, isthat there's a real cost that
comes with playing small.
And it's not always evident.
Matter of fact, like I don'tknow that I would say it's
really ever evident, for me atleast in the moment.
(07:26):
Right.
That it's one of these sort ofthings, you know, as I've talked
about time and time again, it'slike these votes, right?
Or these death by a thousandcuts that every time we don't
allow ourselves to to say who itis that we are to be proud of
that, right?
And to embody that and to sharethat with people, that that's
(07:47):
also a vote internally that wethat we didn't do those things,
that we're not worthy of sharingthat sort of stuff with the
world, right?
That yeah, and so it it kind ofbrings up for me as I think
about it, right?
I I've got two kids, and I thinkof an example, you know, where
(08:11):
it kind of happens for us in ourmind that it would be like my my
kids, right?
That are, you know, seven andeleven.
And it's like me, them coming upto me and being like, hey dad,
I, you know, I just went out anddid this, you know, it and me,
you know, either putting themdown or kind of taking that away
(08:33):
from them, right?
And over and over and overagain, like taking that away,
eventually they're going tothey're not gonna bring it up,
right?
They're not going to be proud ofit, they're not going to know
that they can do the hardthings, right?
Because they never talk aboutit.
It was never worthy of beingtalked about.
(08:54):
Because every time that I cameto dad, he shut me down.
He stopped me, right?
He he said, Hey, hey, hey,don't, don't tell the other boys
that that you know you're agreat snowboarder, right?
Don't don't go over there andyou know, don't don't talk about
how fast of a runner you are,right?
Or any of those sort of things,right?
And it's that just as it couldbe to a five-year-old, there's a
(09:17):
there's a five-year-old thatit's inside of us that needs to
know that it's that you're proudof them for doing these things,
right?
For doing the hard work, doingthe workouts, and that when
you're not giving thatfive-year-old that that internal
part of yourself thatrecognition, then they don't
have anything to to base it on.
(09:38):
So when we look at, right, likeI said, there's a cost of
playing small, and it's notalways up front, right?
It's these sort of things thattear away at us from you know,
internally over and over againover the years.
And that leads to, right, whenwe're not when we don't have
that sense of self-worth andconfidence and self-trust,
(10:02):
right?
It it leads to just, I mean, alot of different things that it
leads to, but really like adiminished or a less than sort
of presence, right?
I mean, sometimes I'll describeit in my life as like having
walked through life like ashadow, right?
Like, I don't want anybody tosee me.
(10:24):
I I don't want to beacknowledged, I'm not really
here, I don't want to take upany space, right?
And that like, how is anybodyever supposed to connect with
somebody that's trying to be ashadow?
Right.
And so it just continues toreaffirm that same sort of
(10:45):
thing.
And so, where do we want to gowith this?
You might ask, right?
And so I would ask you, like,hey, where in your life are the
are some of these things showingup for you right now, right?
Where in your life are you, doyou feel like you're muting your
presence in order to just keepthe peace, right?
To to think ahead maybe in theconversation and be like, well,
(11:07):
if I say that, somebody's goingto think I'm better than them,
right?
Or they'll have any of thesesort of things that that they'll
they'll think, right?
But who do you feel like you'reprotecting by pretending that
you're not powerful?
So if we really kind of switchthis around, I think that that
(11:29):
men have this idea, right, thatownership, right, or that power
is arrogance, right?
That that if I state thesefacts, these things that I've
done, then it's gonna bearrogant.
And I and I don't want to bethat arrogant asshole that
(11:50):
everybody, you know, doesn'tlike.
But the reality is that there'sa difference between ego, right,
which is probably closer to likearrogance, than to ownership,
right?
And ego needs that validation,right?
It's feeding on that sense ofworth and value from other
(12:11):
people, right?
So it's it's boasting, it's it'sdoing these things with the
expectation, you know, theexpectation that other people
are going are going to put themon that sort of pedestal, right?
But ownership, taking ownershipof who you are and the things
that you've done in your life isgrounded, right?
And it's unshakable.
(12:32):
It's just one of those thingsthat are a fact, right?
These are this is the thing thatI signed up for.
I did it, I did the work, andit's not that I'm trying to tell
anybody that I'm better thanthem, that they're less than.
I'm just here, right?
I'm this is something that thatI've done.
(12:55):
This is something of who I am,right?
And yeah, I've I've done thework in order to accomplish
that.
But in that moment, and even inme saying that right now, that's
not trying to say anybody elseis anything else.
And and and I think the thingthat I try to remember for
myself is that everybody isgoing to have a different
(13:15):
perception based on the lifethat they've lived.
And I can't control everybody'slens.
Like I don't know their storyand what they've been through.
And so, but what I can controlis me, right?
And I can speak from the factsand my truth and who it is that
I am.
And as a result of that, like Ican continue to build confidence
(13:38):
and worth and value and strengthin myself that yeah, I did these
things.
I got up in the morning at 5a.m.
and I got in the cold plunge andI did the workout.
That's not to put you down,that's to reaffirm for myself
like the life that I'm buildingand who it is that I want to be.
Right.
(13:58):
So owning your strength isn'tarrogance, right?
It's alignment with who you are.
Right.
And so when when a man startsleading from his true strengths,
(14:19):
right, people recognize that,right?
And and there's a differencefrom a grounded sort of strength
versus an ego sort of strength.
And people see the difference,and people want to follow and be
around and to be led by a manthat is is grounded in his
strengths.
Right.
So as we kind of talk about thisand you think about it, like I I
(14:44):
want you to think for yourself,right?
Like, because all of us have allof us have things that that are
strengths that other peopledon't possess, things that we
do, maybe it's mannerisms or theway that we bring a smile to the
room, or we can always crack ajoke, or whatever it is, but
these are things that are realthat people can't take away from
(15:05):
you.
So I would ask, what are whatare some of those sort of things
that that maybe people have saidto you in the past, that things
that you know for yourself that,hey, I'm really good at this.
And it doesn't even have to bethings that, like, man, I'm
better than everybody else at,but they're like, they are me.
I enjoy this.
(15:26):
This is who I am, right?
And and that's kind of the ideawith this is that we don't have
to shy away from who it is thatwe are, right?
We don't, we don't have topretend that we're that we're
not ourselves.
All right.
So as you're thinking aboutthese sort of things, I
challenge you to to write themdown for yourself, right?
Write it in your journal, youknow, however it is that you do,
(15:50):
but to to really acknowledge thefact that I am this.
These are me.
This is who I am, and that'sokay.
Right?
That I this is who I am at mysoul, right?
And I'm not trying to push thaton anybody or better than or
(16:11):
anything like that, but this isme, and that's something that
I'm proud of.
Right.
I encourage you as well, youknow, to to reach out to
somebody, right?
Brother, a close friend orsomething like that, and to ask
somebody like, hey man, what doyou what do you see in me that
that you feel like I'm reallygood at?
(16:32):
And I think you'll be surprisedat how many things and how
willing people are to share withyou the things that they see in
you that maybe you don't see inyourself.
All right.
So really what I want you totake away from this episode
today is really this permissionto stop waiting to be who it is
(16:57):
that you are, right?
To really take that and embodyit as a strength, right?
And to to recognize and torealize for once that strength
and humility can coexist.
Right?
That that confidence isn'tsomething that you earn, it's
(17:20):
something that you own, right?
Something that you you take foryourself, and it's something
that you you put into practice,right?
So something to kind of takeaway from it is that you don't
have to you don't have to fakeconfidence, right?
You just have to stop pretendingthat you're not already carrying
(17:44):
something valuable, right?
So finding what that is andacknowledging it and recognizing
it and owning for yourself thatthat it's there and that it's
real.
Right.
So this week, as you movethroughout it, right, if you
identify as when you identifysomething, walk around through
(18:06):
the week like it's true, likeit's real.
Right, and and really own itfrom your core.
All right, guys, that's whatI've got for this episode.
Hey, before you go, this podcastis just the surface.
The real work happens inside theEvolve Men Brotherhood.
This is our private community ofmen committed to leading
(18:27):
themselves boldly, buildingconfidence, and sharpening one
another in the fire.
Registration officially opensDecember 1st, and we kick off
our brotherhood calls togetherbeginning in January 2026.
But you can get on the listtoday and be the first to claim
your spot.
If you're tired of going to lifealone and you're ready for true
accountability, support, andconnection with men who get it,
(18:49):
head to EvolvementProject.comslash brotherhood.
Don't just listen, step into theBrotherhood.
I'll see you inside.
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