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September 15, 2025 16 mins

Have you ever achieved a goal only to feel empty afterward? There's a profound difference between checking boxes that look good to others and pursuing what genuinely matters to you. This episode dives deep into why so many men find themselves chasing goals that aren't truly theirs—whether it's societal expectations, peer pressure, or simply following what everyone else seems to want.

The transformation begins when you build goals on the foundation of your personal vision and values. When you connect your targets to who you want to become rather than what you want to achieve, they stop being just tasks and start becoming meaningful markers on your path. This alignment creates a powerful pull that sustains you even when motivation naturally wanes.

We explore the practical side of meaningful goal-setting too: making goals crystal clear using the SMART framework, anticipating obstacles before they arise, and focusing on the deeper "why" that keeps you moving forward. Most importantly, we discuss how following through on aligned goals isn't just about the achievement itself—it's about proving to yourself that you can stay committed and building the identity of someone who finishes what matters. If you're tired of starting strong only to fade out, or achieving things that don't actually fulfill you, this episode offers a roadmap to break that cycle. Take the challenge: choose just one goal deeply connected to your values, make it clear, plan for obstacles, and follow through—not because it's easy, but because the man you'll become in the process is worth it.


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Are you ready to break free from hesitation,
self-doubt and isolation?
Do you want to lead withconfidence, build powerful
connections and live boldly?
I'm Cory Baum and I'm here toshare the most impactful
strategies and mindsets thatI've learned through coaching,
leadership and real-worldexperience.
Together, we'll forgeunshakable confidence, master
social dynamics and create alife rooted in purpose,

(00:27):
brotherhood and bold action.
Inside you'll get the tools andinsights to become the
strongest, most connectedversion of yourself.
Let's dive in what's up, men.
So when I think about goal goalsetting, there was a long

(00:47):
stretch in my life where mygoals weren't really mine.
Right, they, they looked goodon paper.
They were the kind of thingsthat that people nod their heads
at when you tell them thatyou're working towards right.
Sometimes they they were justthe, the like, nice to haves and
things that I thought wouldmake my life better, right.

(01:11):
And at other times they werethe kind of goals that you're
supposed to want, because that'swhat everyone else seems to be
chasing.
Right.
And for a while I told myselfthat that meant that I was on
the right track, that if Iachieved these things, then I
must be doing well in life.
But deep down, I could neverreally get behind them for the

(01:34):
long haul?
Right, because they didn'tlight me up, they didn't connect
to anything that I was really,truly passionate about.
They were just there, and whenthe excitement wore off and it
always did I'd move on to thenext thing.
So it wasn't until I gotserious about creating a clear

(01:54):
vision for my life andidentifying my core values that
things really started to shift.
Once I knew what was actuallyimportant to me in my life, what
I wanted my life to stand for,that my goals really changed.
Right, they became more thanjust a list of accomplishments.

(02:15):
They were extensions of myvalues.
Right, they were milestonesthat connected directly to the
kind of man that I wanted tobecome.
And when your goals are thataligned, they have a different
weight.
Right, you stop chasing them toprove something to the world

(02:35):
and you start pursuing thembecause they actually matter to
you.
And that's when goals stoppedbeing a to-do list for me and
they started becoming a path.
So today's episode is aboutsetting and achieving goals that
actually matter, right, goalsthat light you up, that keep you

(02:55):
focused and pull you forward,even when the work gets hard.
Because here's the truth Mostmen are chasing goals that they
didn't even choose forthemselves.
Right, they're chasing whatthey think they're supposed to
want, you know, the money, thestatus, the next big milestone.

(03:17):
And maybe they hit thosetargets, but deep down.
But deep down they still feelrestless or disconnected or
unsatisfied, and that's the costof chasing goals that aren't
aligned with your vision or yourvalues.
You can spend years workinghard and end up somewhere that

(03:42):
you never really wanted to be.
So the shift is this when youbuild your goals on a foundation
of who it is that you want tobecome and what you stand for,
they stop being just tasks tocheck off.
They become meaningful markerson the path to life that you
actually want to live.
So in this episode, we're goingto break it down.

(04:03):
We're going to talk about whatmakes a goal truly meaningful.
We're going to talk about howto set goals that align with
your values and your vision, howto make them actionable so that
you can start moving today, andhow to stay committed when
obstacles hit, because the rightgoals don't just get you

(04:26):
results.
They shape you into the manthat you're becoming.
So, when it comes to settinggoals, most men start with the
what?
I want to make more money, Iwant to get in shape, I want to
spend more time with my family.
But here's the thing Until youknow why that goal matters to

(04:47):
you, it's just another line on apiece of paper.
It's just another line on apiece of paper.
So I learned the hard way thatthe goals that stick are the
ones that I tied to my visionand my values.
When I set a goal that'saligned with the kind of man
that I want to become, I feelpulled toward it.
It has a certain weight.

(05:08):
It doesn't just look good onpaper.
It actually means something tome, and when a goal means
something, it's a lot harder toquit when things get
uncomfortable.
So before you start thinkingabout how to hit your target, I
want you to ask yourself whydoes this matter?
And don't settle for the firstanswer that comes to mind.

(05:30):
Keep digging in until you hitsomething, something that really
stirs you why does this matter?
And don't settle for the firstanswer that comes to mind.
Right, keep digging in untilyou hit something, something
that really stirs you, right?
Something that you'd still careabout if nobody else knew that
you were working on it.
So once you've got that clarity, the next step is making sure
that the goal isn't justmeaningful, that is clear enough
to act on, because vague goalskill momentum.

(05:56):
Right, I want to get in shape?
Okay, well, why do you want toget in shape?
Like?
What does in shape look likefor you, right?
Or I want to grow my businessMight sound fine, but they're
too fuzzy to actually create aplan around.
You need to know exactly what itis that you're aiming for and

(06:18):
how it is that you'll know thatyou're making progress along the
way.
And that's where the SMARTframework comes in right the
setting goals that are specific.
Goals that are specific.
They're measurable, achievable,relevant and time-bound right.
If you can't define the goalclearly enough to check those

(06:40):
boxes, then you don't have agoal.
You just have a wish, right,and wishes don't get you out of
bed at 5 am to train or keep youshowing up when the client
calls aren't going your way,right?
But here's another reality checkEven the clearest, most

(07:01):
meaningful goals will hitresistance along the way
Setbacks, distractions, lack ofmotivation.
And it's not a matter of if,it's a matter of when.
And the thing is is that mostguys don't plan for that right.
So when it happens, they thinkit's a sign that they should
quit.

(07:21):
But it's not.
It's actually part of theprocess, right, and that's why I
always tell the men that I workwith right.
One of the things that we alwaysdo during coaching is not only
figuring out the actions that itis that we want to take, but we
actually explore things thatare going to come up along the
way, that are going to stop themfrom moving forward.

(07:44):
Right, because if you know, forinstance, that time will be a
challenge along the way,figuring out where it is that
that time is going to come frombefore it's an issue.
Right.
If you know that fear offailure is going to creep in for
you at some point, then writedown how it is that you'll

(08:05):
handle it when it does.
Right.
The more that you plan for thehard moments, the less power
that they have over you whenthey come up.
So in all of this the clarity,the structure, the planning, it
all comes back to your why, andthat's the anchor here that I

(08:27):
want you to see.
If your why is strong enough,then you'll push past the
plateaus, but if it's weak,you'll bail the moment the life
gets inconvenient, right?
So if you take nothing elsefrom this episode, take this.
Make your goals personal.
Make them absolutely crystalclear, no questions about it.

(08:47):
Make them absolutely crystalclear, no questions about it,
about what they are, and expectthe roadblocks, because they
will come up and keep your whyfront and center the entire time
, because the right goals don'tjust get you results, they turn

(09:12):
you into the man that can holdthem once they actually arrive.
So I want you to think aboutyour goals that you've got right
now, big or small.
How many of them are actuallyyours?
Not what you think that youshould want, not what your
friends are chasing or not, whatlooks good online, but yours.

(09:33):
Not what your friends arechasing or not what looks good
online, but yours, ones thatwould matter to you, even if
nobody else knew that you wereworking toward them.
Now, if you're being honest,how clear are they?
Could you explain them tosomeone in a way that they'd
know exactly what it is thatyou're aiming for and when it is
that you'll get there?
How it is that, what successlooks like?

(09:55):
Or are they still a littlefuzzy, living in that like sort
of someday category wherethey're safe, right, but they're
never really moving forward?
Picture this right, that you seta goal and you're fired up, and
then life happens, right,because that happens to all of

(10:16):
us.
You get busy, you lose steam,something throws you off course.
Do you know what your firstmove would be in that moment?
Or do you usually wait untilthe dust settles and just hope
that you feel motivated again?
Right, and here's the big one.
Why does the goal matter in thefirst place, right?

(10:38):
Not the surface reason not.
Oh, you know, I want to behealthier, right?
Or I want to make more money.
I'm talking about the realreason underneath, the one that
ties back to the kind of manthat you want to be, because
that's what's going to keep youmoving when the newness of it
all wears off.
And finally, I want you to askyourself if I committed to just

(11:04):
one goal right now, one thattruly matters to me, and I gave
it my full attention for thenext 90 days, what would change
in your life?
How would you feel aboutyourself if you followed through
, and what would that say aboutthe kind of man that you're
becoming?
Let those questions sit withyou.

(11:27):
They're not about giving youmore to think about.
They're about showing you wherethe fire really is.
So here's the shift that I wantyou to make for yourself.
Goals aren't just a checklist ofthings to accomplish.
They're a training ground forthe man that you're becoming,

(11:50):
because when you set goals thatare aligned with your vision and
values, every step that youtake toward them shapes your
identity.
It's not just about hitting thefinish line.
It's about proving to yourselfthat you can stay committed.
But you haven't actually growninto the man that you want to be

(12:30):
.
So here's your challenge Pickone goal, just one, that's
deeply connected to your visionand your values, and make it
clear enough that you knowexactly what success looks like
and when it'll happen.
Then anticipate at least oneobstacle that's going to show up

(12:54):
along the way and decide rightnow how it is that you'll
respond when it does.
Because this is how you buildmomentum Not trying to do
everything at once, but bychoosing one thing that matters
and showing yourself that youcan finish it.
And when you do that, when youfollow through on something

(13:15):
that's truly yours, you startrewriting the story that you've
been telling yourself about whatyou can and can't do, and that
is the real win.
So if this episode stirredsomething in you, if you're
tired of chasing goals thatdon't actually light you up or
you've been stuck in the cycleof starting strong and fading

(13:38):
out.
This is exactly the work that Ido with men.
Every day, we stipper away thenoise, we get clear on what
truly matters to you and webuild the kind of plan that you
can actually follow through on,not because you're trying to
prove something to the world,but because it's the life that
you actually want to live.
And if you're ready to get thatkind of clarity, book a free

(14:00):
discovery.
Call with me atwwwevolvemenprojectcom.
No pressure, just a realconversation about where you are
, where you want to go and howto get there, in a way that's
aligned with who you are.
And if this episode hit home,share it with someone who needs
it.
Follow the show, leave afive-star review, and let's keep

(14:23):
helping more men build livesthat mean something, one goal at
a time.
So here's what I want you totake away from the show today
the goals that you choose areshaping you, whether you realize
it or not.
If you pick them based on whatothers expect, you may still hit
them, sure, but you won't feelfulfilled.

(14:46):
If you choose them based onyour vision and your values,
though, every step that you takebecomes a step toward the man
that you want to become.
So don't just set goals for thesake of achieving something
right.
Set them to build somethingright, to build your life, your
character, your sense ofself-trust.

(15:07):
Pick one goal that matters.
Make it clear, plan for theobstacles and follow through.
Not because it's easy, butbecause it's worth it on the
other side, but because it'sworth it on the other side.
Thanks for listening to theEvolve Men podcast.
Lead with intention, choosegoals that matter and I'll see

(15:32):
you next time.
Thanks for tuning in to thisepisode of the Evolve Men
podcast.
If today's episode challengedyou, inspired you or gave you
something to think about, don'tstop here.
Keep building, keep evolving.
Head over towwwevolvemenprojectcom, where
you'll find free resources onconfidence, leadership,

(15:52):
relationships, communication andpersonal power Everything you
need to start applying whatyou've learned here and take
your growth to the next level.
The tools are there.
The next move is yours.
Until the next time, staystrong, lead powerfully and live
boldly.
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