ExcommuniDate: Life & Love After Religion

Austin and Jessa dive headfirst into the world of reality TV, starting with Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, where the scandals are messy and the friendships are paper-thin. We break down the Taylor Frankie Paul soft swinging scandal, viral TikTok drama, and the beauty standards running wild in Mormon culture. We also get real about deeper topics like domestic violence, social media pressure, and how patriarchal rules play out in both...

Do we truly have free will, or are our choices carefully shaped by the systems around us? Austin and Jessa unpack how high demand religions manipulate choice, creating the illusion of agency. They explore how shame, guilt, cultural norms, and community pressure shape decision-making. They examine the emotional costs of belonging, the subtle difference between emotional coercion and external control, and the journey of learning to t...

Jessa grew up Mormon in Utah. Nikki grew up not Mormon in Utah. Austin didn’t grow up in Utah at all. Together, they unpack what it means to come of age in a place steeped in LDS culture. From navigating ward culture and family expectations to dating and parenting in a highly religious environment, this episode explores how location, belief, and identity collide in unexpected ways. 

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Jessa and Austin go head-to-head in a red flag showdown, sharing and scoring each others red flags by their level of red flagginess. From phone addiction and food snobbery to plastic surgery takes and hobby obsessions, nothing is off-limits.

They break down which red flags are legit dealbreakers and which are just personal icks. Who brought the biggest red flag? Stick around to find out who wins.

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A former Jehovah’s Witness pioneer joins us to share her story of leaving the faith. She opens up about the exhausting demands of life as a pioneer, the emotional cost of door-to-door evangelism, and the trauma of being part of a system that mishandles abuse and enforces shunning. We also explore her experience navigating dating and family expectations after leaving the faith, how other religions like Mormonism approach growth, and...

Leave your shoes – and sanctity – at the door and join us for this conversation with Vishakha (Vi), who grew up in India and moved to the United States at age 19. Raised in Hindu traditions, she talks about what happens when religion and culture intermingle, especially on the journey to love. We explore how societal and gender roles engrained in her Hindu upbringing impacted her biracial, interfaith relationship, wedding and – ulti...

How can you show up in your family relationships when you’re not able to express your truest self? That’s exactly the question we explore in this episode. We’re joined by Bianca, who opted out of some core beliefs of her Catholic upbringing as a young adult, leaving behind a rift in her family relationships. She talks about balancing faith and science, finding love outside of her religion and the uninvited guest at the family dinne...

On this episode, Melissa Frey joins the show to share her firsthand experience with the Christian church and its chase for chastity, especially in young women. She talks about the overwhelming guilt she felt when she had sex before marriage, casting off the patriarchal purity culture indoctrinated in her by faith and family. It was a decision that cost her dearly, but taught her valuable lessons about how the ideas of purity – comm...

Caitlin Torres Graham regularly works with people who are grieving, whether that’s coming out, loss, death or, you guessed it, leaving a high-demand religion. As a trauma-informed art therapist, Caitlin works particularly with those grappling with their queer identity for the first time. Leaving behind a conservative religion has a lot of parallels and can leave behind a lot of trauma and fear. 

On this episode, Caitlin joins the sh...

What happens when your faith and sexuality collide? In this powerful episode, Jordan shares his journey of embracing his queer identity while navigating a high-demand Mormon upbringing. Discover how he grappled with a mixed-orientation marriage, confronted religious expectations, and ultimately chose authenticity over doctrine. From the suffocating closet of secrecy to the liberating process of leaving the LDS Church, Jordon’s stor...

What does it take to rebuild your identity after leaving a high-demand religion? Austin and Jessa sit down with Alleia Davila, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at See the Wonder LLC, to explore the messy, empowering journey of rediscovering who you are. They dive into navigating relationships, breaking free from ingrained beliefs, finding authentic self-expression, and overcoming shame tied to religious upbringing.

Jessa also expla...

Austin and Jessa dive into the complexities of dating across faith lines, sharing personal experiences and challenges faced when navigating relationships with differing beliefs. Austin discusses the importance of communication, respect, and setting boundaries in interfaith relationships, while offering insights on maintaining a healthy partnership despite cultural or religious differences. Jessalyn relates this to her current relat...

Cupid has no creed—and no remorse for those flying solo on Valentine’s Day. But what happens when you’re not just single, but also navigating life after leaving a high-demand religion? 

In this special episode, Jessa and Austin unpack the unique challenges of facing the "Day of Love" without the built-in community, expectations, and pressures of faith. From tackling loneliness and hyper-independence to redefining love on y...

What do “birth control shorts,” septum piercings, and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives have in common? They’re all part of the messy, liberating journey of leaving high-demand religions and facing the ever-terrifying “s” word: stigma.

In this episode, Jessa and Austin dive into the social stigmas faced by individuals who step away from high-demand faiths. Jessa shares her personal experiences, unpacking how religious expec...

Jessa (a Utah native) and Austin  (a Utah transplant) explore the complexities of dating in a state steeped in religious culture. Austin shares personal stories of navigating Utah's unique dating scene and confronting religious expectations, while Jessa introduces the concept of 'shelf breaking.' Together, they discuss how finding oneself post-religion can open up new freedoms, challenges, and meaningful connections.

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Austin and Jessa introduce "Excommunidate," a podcast focused on the journey of leaving a high-demand religion and rediscovering oneself. From finding love in a new, accepting community to navigating complex relationships, they set the stage for deep conversations and helpful insights to come. Remember, Cupid has no creed. 

Patreon 👉 https://www.patreon.com/excommunidatepod

YouTube 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@ExcommuniDate

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