In this episode of Faith Over Fear: The Christian Pregnancy & Birth Podcast, I'm joined by Jamie Ortiz, a pediatric sleep coach, military spouse, and mama of two who shares her powerful journey through pregnancy loss, high-risk births, and finding God's faithfulness in the midst of heartbreak.
Jamie's motherhood story began with devastating loss—giving birth prematurely to her baby at 22 weeks while her husband was deployed overseas. But even in that unimaginable grief, God was preparing her heart with Scripture and dreams, showing her His character before the storm hit. Her subsequent pregnancies brought month-long hospitalizations and emergency deliveries—none of which looked like the plan she had envisioned.
Through it all, Jamie discovered that God's sovereignty doesn't diminish in our suffering—it sustains us through it. Her story is a beautiful testament to trusting the Lord's plan even when it looks nothing like what we expected, and how He can use our deepest pain to serve others in their greatest need.
Whether you're walking through pregnancy loss, navigating high-risk pregnancies, or feeling overwhelmed by sleepless nights with your little one—this episode offers hope, practical wisdom, and a fresh reminder that God sees you in every season.
In this episode, Jamie shares:
🕊️ How God prepared her heart for loss through Scripture and dreams during her first pregnancy
💔 The raw reality of losing a baby at 22 weeks and grieving while trusting God's goodness
🏥 Navigating subsequent high-risk pregnancies, hospitalizations, and deployments
👶 Her journey from sleep-deprived mama to certified pediatric sleep consultant
💤 Practical encouragement for nursing moms struggling with sleep associations
✝️ Why introducing bottles early creates healthier family dynamics and stronger marriages
🤱 The importance of considering your whole family—not just baby—in sleep decisions
Scripture Shared:
"He is the Lord. Let him do what is good in his eyes." – 1 Samuel 3:18
Mentioned in this episode:
📸 Jamie's Instagram: @littleonessleepsociety
🌙 Pediatric sleep coaching for families with children up to age 6, including neurodivergent support: learn more at littleonessleepsociety.com
💖 Work with Me 1:1 – Doula Support & Coaching: Explore birth support and childbirth education for your pregnancy and birth journey
✨ Christian Mama Birth Prep Library; Free birth prep tools, worship playlist & more
If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who needs to hear Jamie's story of faith over fear.
Let's keep choosing trust over control, one story at a time. Go here for the full blog post, show notes, and all resources mentioned!"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natalie (00:44):
Hey friend, and welcome back to Faith Over Fear, the
Christian Pregnancy and Birthpodcast.
I'm so glad you're here with ustoday, and I'm joined today by
Jamie Ortiz.
She's a pediatric sleep coach, amilitary spouse and mama of two,
with a special certification tosupport neurodivergent children
up to age six.
(01:05):
She's passionate about helpingfamilies find sleep solutions
that are not just effective, butalso compassionate and
personalized.
Before we get into the work,Jamie does as a sleep
consultant, she's going to startby sharing her own powerful
journey into motherhood,including the highs, the
heartbreaks, and the ways Godmet her in each season.
(01:26):
So Jamie, thank you so much forbeing here today.
I know your motherhood journeykind of began in a, a
heartbreaking way, but would youfeel comfortable just sharing
the story of your firstpregnancy and just how the Lord
met you in the midst of thatloss?
Jamie Ortiz (01:40):
Yeah, so thank you first for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
And you know, you really neverknow if your story resonates
with somebody else who might,you know, another woman who's
kind of going through it, right?
We were stationed in Hawaii atthe time that I got pregnant
with our firstborn.
And my husband was set to deployand so we decided go back home.
Right?
So you're not by yourself,you're, we are around family.
(02:02):
All of those fun things.
And the morning that I landedlater that night I thought, I,
honestly, I thought I peedmyself.
I was laughing so hard Ithought.
I peed myself, which they sayhappens when you're pregnant.
And my sister-in-law was like,no, like that's too much.
And then there was like no colorin it, you know?
So I was like, okay.
My water broke.
I was five months pregnant.
(02:23):
I was about a week.
Two weeks shy of when the lungscome in.
And I can't remember what weekthat is.
I think that's in week 24.
So I think I was like about 20weeks at this point.
And so I, I get hospitalized.
My husband calls me, he's like,Hey, we just landed in Korea,
which was where he was doinghis, deployment.
And I said, I literally just gotto the hospital and my water
(02:45):
broke and, you know everythingwas going fine.
They had a plan for me.
They were like, you know, therewas no fluid whatsoever.
So there were of course concernsthat baby wasn't gonna develop
the way the baby should develop.
The doctor was like, you know,he the baby, we didn't know the
gender yet.
I knew it was a boy.
I definitely know that thereason why I had the dreams that
(03:07):
I had was because.
God knew, right?
So I knew it was gonna be a boy.
And then she wanted me toterminate and I thought she was
absolutely insane.
I said, I don't care if thisbaby has its arm growing out of
his head.
Like I'm keeping him.
Like, how, how dare you?
So they came up with a plan of,you know, bed rest.
(03:28):
And then after about a week orso, they were going to release
me and then bring me back to adifferent hospital that had like
a stronger nicu.
'cause they knew that I wasn'tgonna go full term.
They just didn't know when.
And so all that was into play.
And then the day that I wasgetting released to go back
home, I was complaining about,about a pain, and I have two
herniated discs.
(03:49):
So they, I just thought, well,I've been in bed for about two
weeks.
It's, it's my disc.
But they checked me out anyway.
And this like, literally as anurse was taking out my iv, they
were like rushing in, like, no,no, no.
You have a blood clot, you havethis, you have that.
And it's like, okay.
So I couldn't leave.
Now it becomes an emergency forlike my husband too.
'cause at this point he wasn'tset to come anyway.
(04:11):
It was, we were just gonna wait.
And then if.
If you guys know, if your spouseis deployed, anytime there's an
emergency that requires them,you have to send a Red Cross
message and it has to go throughlike all these people before it
gets to him.
Thankfully, he has his phone, sohe knew everything in real time.
And so I stayed in the hospitaland then it just got to the
point where.
He just wasn't going to, hewasn't gonna wait.
(04:34):
But he didn't have his lungsyet.
So at that point, my body gavebirth.
We knew he wasn't gonna make it.
My husband did make it literally30 minutes before it was time to
start pushing.
And that was because mybrother's in law enforcement.
And so he picked him up andbrought him like with the sirens
on, and he like.
He made it.
And so, I mean, yeah, we knew hewasn't gonna make it.
My, it was my immediate familyand my husband in the room.
(04:57):
And it was depressing, as youcould imagine.
But it was also really great'cause my dad prayed over our
son, he prayed over us.
We were there as a family.
And then every pregnancy afterthat has been nothing but drama
filled and a high risk, I mean,just everything.
My husband was deployed for our,the son that we have now, and
same thing, I had to behospitalized for a month and a
half, and then my water broke.
(05:18):
Just a mess.
And we have two children here,you know, on earth, a boy and a
girl, and six and four, and theykeep me busy and I love them.
Natalie (05:27):
Oh, Jamie, that is insane that that was your
experience, especially nothaving your husband there, that
you were navigating all of that
Jamie Ortiz (05:36):
Yeah.
Natalie (05:37):
Oh my goodness.
Jamie Ortiz (05:37):
Yeah.
I mean, they knew at that pointI think while he was, he was,
had a layover in some state, andthat's when we knew the baby's
not gonna make it.
And so I didn't make that phonecall.
My dad handled that phone call.
He's like, do you wanna do it ordo you want me?
And I said, no, you do it.
I'm, I don't want, I don't wannado it.
And so, you know, it was justlike, it was crazy.
(06:00):
And at the same time, I saw Godthroughout the beginning of that
pregnancy always felt wrong.
Something was like I wasbleeding the entire first
trimester, which they say canhappen, but it's very rare then,
you know I kept having dreams ofthis boy and different ages.
Different ages, and I knew, I'mlike, I'm having a boy.
Like I know it.
And then I remember I was earlyon pregnant and I was reading, I
(06:20):
think it was First Kings orFirst Samuel.
I always get them confused, butElijah knows his son isn't gonna
make it.
And he says he is the Lord.
Let him do what is good in hiseyes.
And for whatever reason thatstuck with me and I wrote it
down, I put it on my mirror.
I looked at it every day.
I had no idea that it was gonnaturn into what it turned out to
be, but when I knew he wasn'tgonna make it, that's what I
(06:42):
kept going to.
Like, I just kept going back tothat verse so that I wouldn't go
insane.
'cause as you could imagine,like, you know so a lot of
crying, of course, by myself, Iwould not, I didn't wanna cry in
front of my family.
Even when my husband was in theshower, that's when I would cry.
I would not cry in front of him.
I mean, I, but when they weregonna release me, had they
released me because of thatblood clot, I would've probably
(07:03):
died in my sleep at this pointif we're honest, because you, I
feel like everybody dies intheir sleep from a blood clot
instead of having it do itsthing when you're awake.
So yeah, it was, it was prettycrazy.
Natalie (07:13):
But I mean, what a powerful thing that the Lord was
going before you
Jamie Ortiz (07:19):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (07:19):
and just showing you his heart.
And his character ahead ofeverything else that was going
to unfold because the Lord knew,
Jamie Ortiz (07:28):
Yeah.
Natalie (07:29):
and for whatever reason that's what he had decided
Jamie Ortiz (07:33):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (07:34):
your story be.
but I mean, how beautiful thathe was so close to you during
that time.
it's so sad to think that youwere, you know, just having to
grieve kind of in silence, butthat you did have the Lord there
with you too.
Navigate all of the,
Jamie Ortiz (07:51):
yeah,
Natalie (07:52):
that would go along with a, a loss like that.
Jamie Ortiz (07:55):
yeah.
And I felt all the emotions.
I didn't feel anger and I didn'tquestion Him either.
Which I think some women, whenthey do it, they, they struggle.
And I think that's natural.
Like, I think that I was notnatural in that moment.
Like it was supernatural that Ididn't go to that side where
like I wasn't mad or I wasn'tquestioning him.
It was like, well, I don't knowwhy he did it, but I mean, who
(08:16):
am I?
Do you know what I mean?
Natalie (08:18):
Yeah.
Jamie Ortiz (08:18):
just leave the, the grief to be private because
that's just how I am.
But
Natalie (08:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we all grieve sodifferently.
Jamie Ortiz (08:26):
yeah.
Natalie (08:27):
and then you had a somewhat complicated second
pregnancy
Jamie Ortiz (08:30):
Oh.
Natalie (08:30):
Do you mind kind of sharing what all happened in
that pregnancy and birthexperience?
Jamie Ortiz (08:35):
Yeah, so with him, his name's Daniel.
He my husband again was gettingready to deploy.
I don't remember if it was backto afr I think it was Korea or
Poland.
Poland.
And same thing.
I'm getting ready, you know,we're getting things getting
ready.
They found out that I had aseptate uterus, so they, I had
surgery, which is why my waterbroke so early.
With our firstborn, they.
Figure that out.
(08:55):
So that was, then it be, theykept monitoring me as a high
risk.
And then literally the daybefore we were supposed to leave
Texas to go back home'cause Iwas gonna go back home'cause he
was deploying they were like, ohmy gosh, you almost have no
cervix.
Your cervix has thinned out somuch.
And I'm like, we, I've literallybeen here every week and it's
been fine.
So then now I'm freaking out.
(09:16):
Like, I didn't know what thatmeant because that wasn't the
issue the first time.
So I'm like.
Okay, what does that mean?
And, you know, they explainedeverything.
So they opened the or so that Icould have surgery on that
Saturday.
Made sure that, you know, I wasfine to, to travel'cause I, I
can't fly at this point as apregnant person with a, that had
a history of DVT, and then sowe, we drove then my husband
(09:38):
drives back to Texas.
And I think at my first highrisk appointment, the doctor was
like, no girl.
Your cervix is still, extra thinthan the last time.
My advice is you, at least youget hospitalized.
Put you on bedrest, monitor you.
I was there for a month and ahalf.
Had to cancel everything that Ihad for my baby shower, move it
over to the hospital, which wasso, it was great.
(09:58):
It was cute, you know.
Actually loved my experiencethere.
Me and my mom joke around allthe time that it was a hotel
stay because I got gardenprivileges, which is nice'cause
some of these women were, theywere also on bedrest, but they
couldn't even get out of theroom.
Like, I could at least godownstairs, I could go outside.
So I'm like, you know, it, itended up being great.
But then they, me, I go backhome and I think like a week
(10:21):
later, my water broke.
I was seven months pregnant atthis time.
So my husband was not there forthe birth.
He was there via FaceTime.
Thank God that there istechnology.
And then my body does not taketo epidural, so I felt, they
gave me, I think three times theepidural and my body was like,
no girl, we're not doing this.
So I felt everything, you know,ripped from all front to back,
(10:42):
felt all of that when they weresewing me back up.
I mean, it was.
Awful.
But they were prepared for him.
So he had, you know, they gavehim the steroid shots for him.
So he was completely healthy.
I mean, he just, he was in theNICU for like two weeks.
He didn't need help breathing.
So that's great.
'cause you know, some babies,most of the babies in the nicu,
they need that support.
He didn't need that support.
He was a massive preemie.
(11:03):
And then with my daughter,she's, she got to eight months,
I was eight months with her.
The only thing with her was thatI, she ended up being emergency
C-section.
I needed two blood transfusions.
And I mean, it's just not, Imean, listen, even after my son,
I was ready to just be donebeing pregnant, like my body
does not do well.
But God had other plans'cause wedid everything but abstinence to
(11:25):
not have one.
And the Lord was like, nah, youknow, we're gonna give you the
girl.
And she is like, she's so funny.
I love her so much.
She's my wild.
Natalie (11:34):
that's so well, and I didn't realize your son was also
named Daniel.
That's my son's name.
Jamie Ortiz (11:39):
Oh yeah.
I love that name.
It's such a good, strong name.
Yeah,
Natalie (11:41):
the like, the best.
And it, he's named after my dad,Daniel.
But I also just love Daniel inthe Bible
Jamie Ortiz (11:47):
yeah,
Natalie (11:48):
you know, he was a man who was in the world, but not of
the world.
Jamie Ortiz (11:52):
yeah.
Natalie (11:53):
wanted to, I mean, I, I pray that over both of my kids,
but that was one of the biggestreasons why I named him that,
because I just love Daniel inthe Bible.
But
Jamie Ortiz (12:01):
Yes.
Yeah.
Natalie (12:03):
Yeah.
And I have one of each too, soI, I get it.
The, the girl and the boy wellthen how did you become a sleep
consultant?
Did, did that kind of startafter your very wild birth
experiences?
How did, how did the Lord kindof draw you into that line of
work?
Jamie Ortiz (12:23):
So, I mean, I, for most it's the same.
You're sleep deprived and you'relike, what are we gonna do?
And I started researching for myson when he was eight months
old, but it was so crazyexpensive and I'm like.
I'm sorry, I don't have$800 togive, you know, so we did the
old school like, well, you justcry and you'll be all right.
Like, all your needs are met.
No baby has ever passed awayfrom crying.
(12:44):
We all went through it.
Our relationships with ourparents are great'cause, you
know, so let's do it.
He was on a schedule, so hedidn't even cry.
He just needed his own space.
And so for my daughter, I waslike, okay, we're gonna do this
differently.
And so after her, that's when Iwas like, okay, I'm gonna
actually do this because.
Parents need to know, like it'snot just one thing, there's
(13:05):
different ways of going aboutit.
And so then I got certifiedthrough the Cradle Coach Academy
and I mean, I haven't lookedback since and it's been almost
four years now.
Natalie (13:13):
That's so cool.
Yeah, there's no one size fitsall.
All
Jamie Ortiz (13:17):
Right.
I.
Natalie (13:17):
to sleep training.
And I will recommend, you know,certain courses and things and,
you know, now that we'veconnected, I, I recommend
clients to you, but I thinkthere is a lot of about sleep
training.
That it only looks one way orthat it's just.
Like, you're not responsive toyour kids,
Jamie Ortiz (13:39):
Right, right.
Natalie (13:40):
it's too schedule oriented or, know, it is just,
it's not personalized.
So for, you know, mamas who arelistening to this that want to
explore quote unquote sleeptraining, what encouragement
could you give to them aboutwhat that might look like or
what that even looks like withyour practice?
Jamie Ortiz (14:00):
So the first thing I would say is think about what
are your end goals and how doyou want to get there, right?
Because sometimes families, theydon't have a lot of time.
I've worked with a family wherethey were both doctors.
They did not have time to do themost gentle type approach.
'cause I'm very honest.
I said, this can work, butyou're gonna be doing this for a
few weeks.
(14:20):
So do you want.
Faster results or are you okay?
So think about how fast do youwanna get there?
And the other thing is to alsoremember that yes, any
consultant should try and makethe parents comfortable.
Sometimes what makes'emcomfortable is not what the baby
needs.
Like it will not fit the baby'stemperament.
Now, when we say temperament,we're talking babies eight
(14:41):
months up.
Younger than that, I mean, it's,it's, it's a whole different
ballgame in my opinion.
But being very realistic aboutwhat you're okay with, what
you're not okay with.
Let the person you speak withwho's gonna be in charge.
Come up, coming up with yoursleep plan.
No, these are, this is what I'mokay with.
This is not what I'm okay with.
I'm okay with meeting in themiddle, that type of thing.
And so I like to ask.
(15:02):
The same.
I ask questions when I'm havinga consultation with a family, I
say, what questions do you havefor me?
And then I will let them knowI'm okay with meeting in the
middle and changing things up aslong as it has this progressing
forward, whatever that thatlooks like.
And sometimes it looks like acombination of different
methods.
And do you wanna be on aschedule?
Do you not wanna schedule?
Okay, great, then let's workwith this.
(15:23):
Let's do this.
And I think it's just,communication, it's teamwork.
Parents have to be honestthroughout the process with the
sleep consultant, because we'reseeing it from like, I wanna get
you to point A to point B.
I'm not emotionally invested,right?
But I'm thinking of it morelogically.
Let me get you guys to yourgoal.
So if there's something that youfeel is not right, you need to
(15:43):
let.
Me?
No.
Or whatever sleep consultantyou're working with.
Natalie (15:47):
Yeah, I, I can totally see that because it is, of have
to do some soul searching
Jamie Ortiz (15:52):
Yeah.
Natalie (15:53):
you are, you are especially a first time parent,
Jamie Ortiz (15:57):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (15:57):
there's this.
of like, oh, when I'm a parent,I'm gonna do this, or I'll never
do that.
And then you actually become aparent and it changes the game,
the things that you thought youwould want to do, you don't
wanna do the things you said youwould never do,
Jamie Ortiz (16:14):
Yeah.
Natalie (16:14):
you're doing them.
And, and that's not to say like,oh, you're a, you know, you
don't know yourself or whatever.
But I'm just saying.
When you're in it,
Jamie Ortiz (16:22):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (16:23):
it can kind of change based on your circumstances and
your situations.
And then also having subsequentchildren where they have a
totally different temperamentthan the first, then you have to
relearn.
All of the things and have, andbe fine with pivoting the
approach that you had the firsttime.
I know that's what we wentthrough where Ellie was a
(16:45):
fantastic sleeper.
And we did taking care of babiesand it was a phenomenal course
because Ellie was such an easysleeper.
And then Daniel, we did not havethat luxury of being able to
just stay strict to like therhythms and the schedules and
all the things like we did withEllie.
so Daniel just didn't have thattype of smooth sleep, you know,
(17:09):
you know, he just, it took moretime for him and he's a great
sleeper now, but I mean, it, ittook over a year.
Jamie Ortiz (17:16):
Yeah.
Natalie (17:17):
whereas with Ellie, five and a half months, she was
like sleep trained,
Jamie Ortiz (17:20):
Yeah.
Natalie (17:21):
sleeping 12 hours through the night.
And so, yeah, it's just, it'sdifferent.
And it's so important to justhave that grace for yourself as
you're learning all this wholeother side of parenting.
Jamie Ortiz (17:33):
Even in your own kids, if you're on kid two, kid
three or anything after yourfirst child, even if you were to
sleep, train them at the same,at the same age you did the
first one.
There's no guarantee that whatyou did the first time around is
gonna work the second timearound because they're so
different.
So, you know, that's, I thinkthat's why I always love
working.
I have a few families that I'veworked with who are on kid two
(17:53):
or three, and they're like, wedon't even wanna attempt on our
own.
We're we already know who we'regonna go with.
And she knows us already.
I know what to present themwith.
I know their style.
And it just makes it a loteasier and it makes it feel like
more like your friends really,when you've already kind of
connected in that way.
So I love it.
Natalie (18:09):
I love that.
for the tired mamas listeningwho feel like they've tried
everything, but nothing seems tobe working, is there a simple
mindset shift?
Or something that you couldencourage them to take away from
your expertise.
Jamie Ortiz (18:25):
I would say, I actually wanna speak to the
nursing mom because every familythat I work with, when there is
nursing, that is a, a bigassociation that babies have
naturally, right.
As a sleep consultant, we're notgoing in to say, you're never
nursing your baby.
You're not doing, we're notdoing that.
But I will say, I, I highlyencourage, once your milk is
(18:46):
established, once you knoweverything's going smooth,
introduce the bottle for atleast one feeding.
Number one, that is gonna giveyou a break.
Number two, it gives somebodyelse a chance to to to connect
with, with your baby, but also.
If at any point you are notavailable to feed your baby,
(19:06):
they understand how to take abottle because I finished up
with a family recently and shewould leave work to come nurse
and then go back to work becausebaby refused from anybody else.
And then we started working onsleep training and he was taking
it from dad.
The nanny, I mean, just.
Huge changes and more because ofwhat it did for her mental
psyche.
'cause I think sometimes we'reso baby mode, we forget, okay,
(19:29):
well how is this affecting me?
Because now I feel like I'm justnonstop, nonstop as a feeder,
which okay, you know, baby needsyou to feed.
Of course.
But then also, what is it doingto your spouse?
They're looking at you depletingbecause you're, you're doing so
much.
Maybe you're not even sleepingin the same room.
'cause I've worked with familiesthat they have not slept in the
(19:51):
room since baby was born, right?
So be honest with your spouse.
Where are you at?
What is it that your spousewants?
Some husbands are afraid to behonest with their wives because
they don't wanna hurt them.
But be honest with each other.
Offer at least one bottle wantsthat milk and everything has
been established.
And then think about what isyour goal at the end of the day
when baby is however old.
(20:14):
What do you want sleep to looklike for you and for this baby?
Because if baby's not sleeping,you're not sleeping.
If you're not sleeping, you arenot going to be as a hundred
percent of yourself as you wannabe.
Natalie (20:29):
I love that you say that because we definitely
struggled with that whole bottlesituation.
Jamie Ortiz (20:35):
Yeah.
Natalie (20:35):
Ellie where we did not introduce a bottle until she was
well past, I, I wanna say.
Like, I know you're supposed totry and introduce it between
three to six weeks whenbreastfeeding is well
established, whatever that meansfor the, you know,
Jamie Ortiz (20:52):
Right.
Natalie (20:53):
and the baby.
I mean some, some families.
It really is closer to that sixweek mark.
Jamie Ortiz (20:57):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (20:57):
were well past that.
And so we kind of missed thatwindow of opportunity to try to
introduce the bottle to her.
And by the time we did, sheabsolutely refused the bottle.
She only wanted the breast.
And that made me so stressedout.
There was like an instance whenshe was maybe eight weeks old,
and I had a dentist appointmentand I had to leave her and left
(21:19):
her here with Brian.
then Brian calls me like on theverge of tears because she's not
taking the bottle that we, youknow, have been trying to give
her.
And it was just, it was sostressful.
Just, I mean, little things likegoing to the dentist became this
whole ordeal because we.
We didn't have that, you know,that foresight to, okay, let,
(21:40):
this is a good idea, even ifthis isn't a super regular
thing, but, but just with someregularity, a couple bottles a
week having dad or, you know,nanny or somebody else,
grandparent give the bottle.
Usually it's, you know, helpfulfor mom to even not be in the
room or sometimes even in thehouse.
If that baby is, is very muchpreferring to only nurse.
(22:03):
But that does it, it establishessuch a healthy dynamic in the
family to where mom doesn't feellike the feeding responsibility
only it, you know, it can onlybe her
Jamie Ortiz (22:15):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (22:16):
then dad and other family and friends and sitters
can be involved with the care.
So mom and dad can step awayseparately.
Jamie Ortiz (22:26):
Right.
Natalie (22:27):
you know, eventually for, for dates and seeing
friends and down the line goingon a trip.
You know,
Jamie Ortiz (22:34):
Yeah.
Natalie (22:34):
it's so helpful and, and I was so grateful for that
experience to just be able tokind of know the mindset behind
that.
And it was truly just a placefor me with Ellie, where I just
wanted to love my baby girl byjust nursing her and, and all
the things.
But I, I neglected.
(22:55):
That other half of, but thisalso puts all of us at a
disadvantage.
Jamie Ortiz (23:01):
Right.
Natalie (23:02):
and, and so it is important to do that.
So I'm glad you brought that upbecause that is a huge part.
And then, you know, the sharingthat, that responsibility in the
night so that mom can actually.
Jamie Ortiz (23:12):
Yes.
Natalie (23:12):
sleep with a child.
Like I said, Ellie was a goodsleeper and so that was the
other kind of, it was like a,you know, double-edged sword
there where she was a goodsleeper and so it wasn't like a,
an issue for me to nurse her'cause she would usually go
right back down to sleep.
Jamie Ortiz (23:25):
Yeah.
Natalie (23:26):
yeah, if you're a, if you're a mom, if nursing your
baby who just will not go backto sleep or really has an issue
sleeping after nursing in thenight,
Jamie Ortiz (23:36):
Yeah.
Natalie (23:36):
help
Jamie Ortiz (23:37):
Yeah.
Natalie (23:38):
is vital
Jamie Ortiz (23:39):
Oh my gosh.
Natalie (23:40):
your functioning.
Jamie Ortiz (23:41):
Exactly.
I mean, it's not even just like,oh, I feel rested and have
energy.
It's like, no, it actually, ifyou are sleep deprived, it
affects everything in your body,so like, it's, it's more than,
oh, let me just sleep, train,because, you know, nobody's
sleeping.
I do it honestly more because ofthe, the couples that I work
with.
Like, I'm here for your marriageand if your husband is sleeping
(24:02):
or you are sleeping in separaterooms for going on six, seven
months, I'm not okay with that.
I can guarantee your spouseisn't okay with it.
He just doesn't know how to tellyou because we're protective
over our babies.
Right.
So, you know, I always say like,we need to think about.
All those things so that nobodygets forgotten in the mix of,
while we're trying to figure outwhat does motherhood look like,
(24:22):
because it is, you kind of getlost in it, especially your
first time around'cause youdon't know what you're doing and
you know, you wanna be the bestthat you can be and you know and
actually the other thing is, Iwould say really more towards
like month, three of your, ofyour baby being born.
Aim to at least put them downfor a nap in their own sleep
space at least once per day.
(24:42):
Get them used to what is goingto be where they are going to,
you know, end up eventually.
Co-sleeping is, is a real thing.
Most of the babies that I workwith is because they're
co-sleeping and they don't knowhow to kind of gently find ways
to get them to their own space.
So, you know, aim at least onenap after baby is three months
old or at three months and getthem used to their spot.
Natalie (25:02):
I love that.
Well, thank you, Jamie.
So much for sharing yourpersonal stories and your
incredible expertise.
If a family wants to connectwith you to learn more about
sleep consulting and, and waysthat you can serve them in that
way, how can people get ahold ofyou?
Jamie Ortiz (25:19):
You can find me on Instagram under
@littleonessleepsociety, or onmy website,
littleonessleepsociety.com.
Natalie (25:28):
Wonderful.
And I'll have all of that in theshow notes as well.
but thank you so much again.
You are a delight, and I justloved hearing your wild stories.
It is not about, perfection inmotherhood.
is not about things goingexactly to the plan that you
wanted for your birth, yourmotherhood journey, your sleep
(25:51):
journey, truly is up to the Lordand in his sovereignty to have
everything pan out the way thathe has called it to and, and
when we.
Like what you did, where youjust have time to meditate on
that and to really just trustthe Lord, not just in theory,
(26:11):
but as it's happening.
Trusting him with the outcome,knowing that he is in control,
even when it seems out ofcontrol, even if the outcome
that happens was the literallast thing you wanted,
Jamie Ortiz (26:26):
Right.
Natalie (26:26):
still good
Jamie Ortiz (26:27):
Yeah.
Natalie (26:27):
in that situation.
that.
Jamie Ortiz (26:31):
oh gosh, I'll talk about Him anytime.
And the amount of women thatI've been able to actually,
military spouses specifically,I've gone through.
So they're almost the same typeof story, and I'm like, I've
never had that happen before,and now all of a sudden it
happens to me and there's likeall these women in my face that
are going through it, and I'mlike, I mean, at least I know.
(26:52):
So it's not for nothing.
Do you know what I mean?
So,
Natalie (26:55):
And you're so right.
I feel like the more we shareour stories, the more other
women come out of the woodworksand they're like, that happened
to me too.
Or that happened to somebodyclose that I love.
And it just brings us alltogether especially as sisters
in Christ where we get to just.
Band together and be like, youknow what, this, this situation
(27:17):
sucks.
Jamie Ortiz (27:18):
Yes.
Natalie (27:19):
I have some, some friends and you know, clients
right now walking through somevery, very hard stuff.
But you know, when we, when webring other women, into this
experience, we get to love andencourage each other in a way
that's like.
Filled with truth.
It is not you know, I hopethings work out or I hope
(27:39):
everything is okay, but knowing
Jamie Ortiz (27:42):
Yeah.
Natalie (27:43):
the Lord truly is working all things for our good
and his glory always ineverything and we get to rest in
that truth uniquely, as thosethat love and follow Jesus.
Jamie Ortiz (27:55):
Yeah, absolutely.
Natalie (27:58):
appreciate you,
Jamie Ortiz (27:58):
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Hey friend, and welcome back to Faith Over Fear, the
Christian Pregnancy and Birthpodcast.
I'm so glad you're here with ustoday, and I'm joined today by
Jamie Ortiz.
She's a pediatric sleep coach, amilitary spouse and mama of two,
with a special certification tosupport neurodivergent children
up to age six.
(01:05):
She's passionate about helpingfamilies find sleep solutions
that are not just effective, butalso compassionate and
personalized.
Before we get into the work,Jamie does as a sleep
consultant, she's going to startby sharing her own powerful
journey into motherhood,including the highs, the
heartbreaks, and the ways Godmet her in each season.
(01:26):
So Jamie, thank you so much forbeing here today.
I know your motherhood journeykind of began in a, a
heartbreaking way, but would youfeel comfortable just sharing
the story of your firstpregnancy and just how the Lord
met you in the midst of thatloss?
Jamie Ortiz (01:40):
Yeah, so thank you first for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
And you know, you really neverknow if your story resonates
with somebody else who might,you know, another woman who's
kind of going through it, right?
We were stationed in Hawaii atthe time that I got pregnant
with our firstborn.
And my husband was set to deployand so we decided go back home.
Right?
So you're not by yourself,you're, we are around family.
(02:02):
All of those fun things.
And the morning that I landedlater that night I thought, I,
honestly, I thought I peedmyself.
I was laughing so hard Ithought.
I peed myself, which they sayhappens when you're pregnant.
And my sister-in-law was like,no, like that's too much.
And then there was like no colorin it, you know?
So I was like, okay.
My water broke.
I was five months pregnant.
(02:23):
I was about a week.
Two weeks shy of when the lungscome in.
And I can't remember what weekthat is.
I think that's in week 24.
So I think I was like about 20weeks at this point.
And so I, I get hospitalized.
My husband calls me, he's like,Hey, we just landed in Korea,
which was where he was doinghis, deployment.
And I said, I literally just gotto the hospital and my water
(02:45):
broke and, you know everythingwas going fine.
They had a plan for me.
They were like, you know, therewas no fluid whatsoever.
So there were of course concernsthat baby wasn't gonna develop
the way the baby should develop.
The doctor was like, you know,he the baby, we didn't know the
gender yet.
I knew it was a boy.
I definitely know that thereason why I had the dreams that
(03:07):
I had was because.
God knew, right?
So I knew it was gonna be a boy.
And then she wanted me toterminate and I thought she was
absolutely insane.
I said, I don't care if thisbaby has its arm growing out of
his head.
Like I'm keeping him.
Like, how, how dare you?
So they came up with a plan of,you know, bed rest.
(03:28):
And then after about a week orso, they were going to release
me and then bring me back to adifferent hospital that had like
a stronger nicu.
'cause they knew that I wasn'tgonna go full term.
They just didn't know when.
And so all that was into play.
And then the day that I wasgetting released to go back
home, I was complaining about,about a pain, and I have two
herniated discs.
(03:49):
So they, I just thought, well,I've been in bed for about two
weeks.
It's, it's my disc.
But they checked me out anyway.
And this like, literally as anurse was taking out my iv, they
were like rushing in, like, no,no, no.
You have a blood clot, you havethis, you have that.
And it's like, okay.
So I couldn't leave.
Now it becomes an emergency forlike my husband too.
'cause at this point he wasn'tset to come anyway.
(04:11):
It was, we were just gonna wait.
And then if.
If you guys know, if your spouseis deployed, anytime there's an
emergency that requires them,you have to send a Red Cross
message and it has to go throughlike all these people before it
gets to him.
Thankfully, he has his phone, sohe knew everything in real time.
And so I stayed in the hospitaland then it just got to the
point where.
He just wasn't going to, hewasn't gonna wait.
(04:34):
But he didn't have his lungsyet.
So at that point, my body gavebirth.
We knew he wasn't gonna make it.
My husband did make it literally30 minutes before it was time to
start pushing.
And that was because mybrother's in law enforcement.
And so he picked him up andbrought him like with the sirens
on, and he like.
He made it.
And so, I mean, yeah, we knew hewasn't gonna make it.
My, it was my immediate familyand my husband in the room.
(04:57):
And it was depressing, as youcould imagine.
But it was also really great'cause my dad prayed over our
son, he prayed over us.
We were there as a family.
And then every pregnancy afterthat has been nothing but drama
filled and a high risk, I mean,just everything.
My husband was deployed for our,the son that we have now, and
same thing, I had to behospitalized for a month and a
half, and then my water broke.
(05:18):
Just a mess.
And we have two children here,you know, on earth, a boy and a
girl, and six and four, and theykeep me busy and I love them.
Natalie (05:27):
Oh, Jamie, that is insane that that was your
experience, especially nothaving your husband there, that
you were navigating all of that
Jamie Ortiz (05:36):
Yeah.
Natalie (05:37):
Oh my goodness.
Jamie Ortiz (05:37):
Yeah.
I mean, they knew at that pointI think while he was, he was,
had a layover in some state, andthat's when we knew the baby's
not gonna make it.
And so I didn't make that phonecall.
My dad handled that phone call.
He's like, do you wanna do it ordo you want me?
And I said, no, you do it.
I'm, I don't want, I don't wannado it.
And so, you know, it was justlike, it was crazy.
(06:00):
And at the same time, I saw Godthroughout the beginning of that
pregnancy always felt wrong.
Something was like I wasbleeding the entire first
trimester, which they say canhappen, but it's very rare then,
you know I kept having dreams ofthis boy and different ages.
Different ages, and I knew, I'mlike, I'm having a boy.
Like I know it.
And then I remember I was earlyon pregnant and I was reading, I
(06:20):
think it was First Kings orFirst Samuel.
I always get them confused, butElijah knows his son isn't gonna
make it.
And he says he is the Lord.
Let him do what is good in hiseyes.
And for whatever reason thatstuck with me and I wrote it
down, I put it on my mirror.
I looked at it every day.
I had no idea that it was gonnaturn into what it turned out to
be, but when I knew he wasn'tgonna make it, that's what I
(06:42):
kept going to.
Like, I just kept going back tothat verse so that I wouldn't go
insane.
'cause as you could imagine,like, you know so a lot of
crying, of course, by myself, Iwould not, I didn't wanna cry in
front of my family.
Even when my husband was in theshower, that's when I would cry.
I would not cry in front of him.
I mean, I, but when they weregonna release me, had they
released me because of thatblood clot, I would've probably
(07:03):
died in my sleep at this pointif we're honest, because you, I
feel like everybody dies intheir sleep from a blood clot
instead of having it do itsthing when you're awake.
So yeah, it was, it was prettycrazy.
Natalie (07:13):
But I mean, what a powerful thing that the Lord was
going before you
Jamie Ortiz (07:19):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (07:19):
and just showing you his heart.
And his character ahead ofeverything else that was going
to unfold because the Lord knew,
Jamie Ortiz (07:28):
Yeah.
Natalie (07:29):
and for whatever reason that's what he had decided
Jamie Ortiz (07:33):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (07:34):
your story be.
but I mean, how beautiful thathe was so close to you during
that time.
it's so sad to think that youwere, you know, just having to
grieve kind of in silence, butthat you did have the Lord there
with you too.
Navigate all of the,
Jamie Ortiz (07:51):
yeah,
Natalie (07:52):
that would go along with a, a loss like that.
Jamie Ortiz (07:55):
yeah.
And I felt all the emotions.
I didn't feel anger and I didn'tquestion Him either.
Which I think some women, whenthey do it, they, they struggle.
And I think that's natural.
Like, I think that I was notnatural in that moment.
Like it was supernatural that Ididn't go to that side where
like I wasn't mad or I wasn'tquestioning him.
It was like, well, I don't knowwhy he did it, but I mean, who
(08:16):
am I?
Do you know what I mean?
Natalie (08:18):
Yeah.
Jamie Ortiz (08:18):
just leave the, the grief to be private because
that's just how I am.
But
Natalie (08:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we all grieve sodifferently.
Jamie Ortiz (08:26):
yeah.
Natalie (08:27):
and then you had a somewhat complicated second
pregnancy
Jamie Ortiz (08:30):
Oh.
Natalie (08:30):
Do you mind kind of sharing what all happened in
that pregnancy and birthexperience?
Jamie Ortiz (08:35):
Yeah, so with him, his name's Daniel.
He my husband again was gettingready to deploy.
I don't remember if it was backto afr I think it was Korea or
Poland.
Poland.
And same thing.
I'm getting ready, you know,we're getting things getting
ready.
They found out that I had aseptate uterus, so they, I had
surgery, which is why my waterbroke so early.
With our firstborn, they.
Figure that out.
(08:55):
So that was, then it be, theykept monitoring me as a high
risk.
And then literally the daybefore we were supposed to leave
Texas to go back home'cause Iwas gonna go back home'cause he
was deploying they were like, ohmy gosh, you almost have no
cervix.
Your cervix has thinned out somuch.
And I'm like, we, I've literallybeen here every week and it's
been fine.
So then now I'm freaking out.
(09:16):
Like, I didn't know what thatmeant because that wasn't the
issue the first time.
So I'm like.
Okay, what does that mean?
And, you know, they explainedeverything.
So they opened the or so that Icould have surgery on that
Saturday.
Made sure that, you know, I wasfine to, to travel'cause I, I
can't fly at this point as apregnant person with a, that had
a history of DVT, and then sowe, we drove then my husband
(09:38):
drives back to Texas.
And I think at my first highrisk appointment, the doctor was
like, no girl.
Your cervix is still, extra thinthan the last time.
My advice is you, at least youget hospitalized.
Put you on bedrest, monitor you.
I was there for a month and ahalf.
Had to cancel everything that Ihad for my baby shower, move it
over to the hospital, which wasso, it was great.
(09:58):
It was cute, you know.
Actually loved my experiencethere.
Me and my mom joke around allthe time that it was a hotel
stay because I got gardenprivileges, which is nice'cause
some of these women were, theywere also on bedrest, but they
couldn't even get out of theroom.
Like, I could at least godownstairs, I could go outside.
So I'm like, you know, it, itended up being great.
But then they, me, I go backhome and I think like a week
(10:21):
later, my water broke.
I was seven months pregnant atthis time.
So my husband was not there forthe birth.
He was there via FaceTime.
Thank God that there istechnology.
And then my body does not taketo epidural, so I felt, they
gave me, I think three times theepidural and my body was like,
no girl, we're not doing this.
So I felt everything, you know,ripped from all front to back,
(10:42):
felt all of that when they weresewing me back up.
I mean, it was.
Awful.
But they were prepared for him.
So he had, you know, they gavehim the steroid shots for him.
So he was completely healthy.
I mean, he just, he was in theNICU for like two weeks.
He didn't need help breathing.
So that's great.
'cause you know, some babies,most of the babies in the nicu,
they need that support.
He didn't need that support.
He was a massive preemie.
(11:03):
And then with my daughter,she's, she got to eight months,
I was eight months with her.
The only thing with her was thatI, she ended up being emergency
C-section.
I needed two blood transfusions.
And I mean, it's just not, Imean, listen, even after my son,
I was ready to just be donebeing pregnant, like my body
does not do well.
But God had other plans'cause wedid everything but abstinence to
(11:25):
not have one.
And the Lord was like, nah, youknow, we're gonna give you the
girl.
And she is like, she's so funny.
I love her so much.
She's my wild.
Natalie (11:34):
that's so well, and I didn't realize your son was also
named Daniel.
That's my son's name.
Jamie Ortiz (11:39):
Oh yeah.
I love that name.
It's such a good, strong name.
Yeah,
Natalie (11:41):
the like, the best.
And it, he's named after my dad,Daniel.
But I also just love Daniel inthe Bible
Jamie Ortiz (11:47):
yeah,
Natalie (11:48):
you know, he was a man who was in the world, but not of
the world.
Jamie Ortiz (11:52):
yeah.
Natalie (11:53):
wanted to, I mean, I, I pray that over both of my kids,
but that was one of the biggestreasons why I named him that,
because I just love Daniel inthe Bible.
But
Jamie Ortiz (12:01):
Yes.
Yeah.
Natalie (12:03):
Yeah.
And I have one of each too, soI, I get it.
The, the girl and the boy wellthen how did you become a sleep
consultant?
Did, did that kind of startafter your very wild birth
experiences?
How did, how did the Lord kindof draw you into that line of
work?
Jamie Ortiz (12:23):
So, I mean, I, for most it's the same.
You're sleep deprived and you'relike, what are we gonna do?
And I started researching for myson when he was eight months
old, but it was so crazyexpensive and I'm like.
I'm sorry, I don't have$800 togive, you know, so we did the
old school like, well, you justcry and you'll be all right.
Like, all your needs are met.
No baby has ever passed awayfrom crying.
(12:44):
We all went through it.
Our relationships with ourparents are great'cause, you
know, so let's do it.
He was on a schedule, so hedidn't even cry.
He just needed his own space.
And so for my daughter, I waslike, okay, we're gonna do this
differently.
And so after her, that's when Iwas like, okay, I'm gonna
actually do this because.
Parents need to know, like it'snot just one thing, there's
(13:05):
different ways of going aboutit.
And so then I got certifiedthrough the Cradle Coach Academy
and I mean, I haven't lookedback since and it's been almost
four years now.
Natalie (13:13):
That's so cool.
Yeah, there's no one size fitsall.
All
Jamie Ortiz (13:17):
Right.
I.
Natalie (13:17):
to sleep training.
And I will recommend, you know,certain courses and things and,
you know, now that we'veconnected, I, I recommend
clients to you, but I thinkthere is a lot of about sleep
training.
That it only looks one way orthat it's just.
Like, you're not responsive toyour kids,
Jamie Ortiz (13:39):
Right, right.
Natalie (13:40):
it's too schedule oriented or, know, it is just,
it's not personalized.
So for, you know, mamas who arelistening to this that want to
explore quote unquote sleeptraining, what encouragement
could you give to them aboutwhat that might look like or
what that even looks like withyour practice?
Jamie Ortiz (14:00):
So the first thing I would say is think about what
are your end goals and how doyou want to get there, right?
Because sometimes families, theydon't have a lot of time.
I've worked with a family wherethey were both doctors.
They did not have time to do themost gentle type approach.
'cause I'm very honest.
I said, this can work, butyou're gonna be doing this for a
few weeks.
(14:20):
So do you want.
Faster results or are you okay?
So think about how fast do youwanna get there?
And the other thing is to alsoremember that yes, any
consultant should try and makethe parents comfortable.
Sometimes what makes'emcomfortable is not what the baby
needs.
Like it will not fit the baby'stemperament.
Now, when we say temperament,we're talking babies eight
(14:41):
months up.
Younger than that, I mean, it's,it's, it's a whole different
ballgame in my opinion.
But being very realistic aboutwhat you're okay with, what
you're not okay with.
Let the person you speak withwho's gonna be in charge.
Come up, coming up with yoursleep plan.
No, these are, this is what I'mokay with.
This is not what I'm okay with.
I'm okay with meeting in themiddle, that type of thing.
And so I like to ask.
(15:02):
The same.
I ask questions when I'm havinga consultation with a family, I
say, what questions do you havefor me?
And then I will let them knowI'm okay with meeting in the
middle and changing things up aslong as it has this progressing
forward, whatever that thatlooks like.
And sometimes it looks like acombination of different
methods.
And do you wanna be on aschedule?
Do you not wanna schedule?
Okay, great, then let's workwith this.
(15:23):
Let's do this.
And I think it's just,communication, it's teamwork.
Parents have to be honestthroughout the process with the
sleep consultant, because we'reseeing it from like, I wanna get
you to point A to point B.
I'm not emotionally invested,right?
But I'm thinking of it morelogically.
Let me get you guys to yourgoal.
So if there's something that youfeel is not right, you need to
(15:43):
let.
Me?
No.
Or whatever sleep consultantyou're working with.
Natalie (15:47):
Yeah, I, I can totally see that because it is, of have
to do some soul searching
Jamie Ortiz (15:52):
Yeah.
Natalie (15:53):
you are, you are especially a first time parent,
Jamie Ortiz (15:57):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (15:57):
there's this.
of like, oh, when I'm a parent,I'm gonna do this, or I'll never
do that.
And then you actually become aparent and it changes the game,
the things that you thought youwould want to do, you don't
wanna do the things you said youwould never do,
Jamie Ortiz (16:14):
Yeah.
Natalie (16:14):
you're doing them.
And, and that's not to say like,oh, you're a, you know, you
don't know yourself or whatever.
But I'm just saying.
When you're in it,
Jamie Ortiz (16:22):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (16:23):
it can kind of change based on your circumstances and
your situations.
And then also having subsequentchildren where they have a
totally different temperamentthan the first, then you have to
relearn.
All of the things and have, andbe fine with pivoting the
approach that you had the firsttime.
I know that's what we wentthrough where Ellie was a
(16:45):
fantastic sleeper.
And we did taking care of babiesand it was a phenomenal course
because Ellie was such an easysleeper.
And then Daniel, we did not havethat luxury of being able to
just stay strict to like therhythms and the schedules and
all the things like we did withEllie.
so Daniel just didn't have thattype of smooth sleep, you know,
(17:09):
you know, he just, it took moretime for him and he's a great
sleeper now, but I mean, it, ittook over a year.
Jamie Ortiz (17:16):
Yeah.
Natalie (17:17):
whereas with Ellie, five and a half months, she was
like sleep trained,
Jamie Ortiz (17:20):
Yeah.
Natalie (17:21):
sleeping 12 hours through the night.
And so, yeah, it's just, it'sdifferent.
And it's so important to justhave that grace for yourself as
you're learning all this wholeother side of parenting.
Jamie Ortiz (17:33):
Even in your own kids, if you're on kid two, kid
three or anything after yourfirst child, even if you were to
sleep, train them at the same,at the same age you did the
first one.
There's no guarantee that whatyou did the first time around is
gonna work the second timearound because they're so
different.
So, you know, that's, I thinkthat's why I always love
working.
I have a few families that I'veworked with who are on kid two
(17:53):
or three, and they're like, wedon't even wanna attempt on our
own.
We're we already know who we'regonna go with.
And she knows us already.
I know what to present themwith.
I know their style.
And it just makes it a loteasier and it makes it feel like
more like your friends really,when you've already kind of
connected in that way.
So I love it.
Natalie (18:09):
I love that.
for the tired mamas listeningwho feel like they've tried
everything, but nothing seems tobe working, is there a simple
mindset shift?
Or something that you couldencourage them to take away from
your expertise.
Jamie Ortiz (18:25):
I would say, I actually wanna speak to the
nursing mom because every familythat I work with, when there is
nursing, that is a, a bigassociation that babies have
naturally, right.
As a sleep consultant, we're notgoing in to say, you're never
nursing your baby.
You're not doing, we're notdoing that.
But I will say, I, I highlyencourage, once your milk is
(18:46):
established, once you knoweverything's going smooth,
introduce the bottle for atleast one feeding.
Number one, that is gonna giveyou a break.
Number two, it gives somebodyelse a chance to to to connect
with, with your baby, but also.
If at any point you are notavailable to feed your baby,
(19:06):
they understand how to take abottle because I finished up
with a family recently and shewould leave work to come nurse
and then go back to work becausebaby refused from anybody else.
And then we started working onsleep training and he was taking
it from dad.
The nanny, I mean, just.
Huge changes and more because ofwhat it did for her mental
psyche.
'cause I think sometimes we'reso baby mode, we forget, okay,
(19:29):
well how is this affecting me?
Because now I feel like I'm justnonstop, nonstop as a feeder,
which okay, you know, baby needsyou to feed.
Of course.
But then also, what is it doingto your spouse?
They're looking at you depletingbecause you're, you're doing so
much.
Maybe you're not even sleepingin the same room.
'cause I've worked with familiesthat they have not slept in the
(19:51):
room since baby was born, right?
So be honest with your spouse.
Where are you at?
What is it that your spousewants?
Some husbands are afraid to behonest with their wives because
they don't wanna hurt them.
But be honest with each other.
Offer at least one bottle wantsthat milk and everything has
been established.
And then think about what isyour goal at the end of the day
when baby is however old.
(20:14):
What do you want sleep to looklike for you and for this baby?
Because if baby's not sleeping,you're not sleeping.
If you're not sleeping, you arenot going to be as a hundred
percent of yourself as you wannabe.
Natalie (20:29):
I love that you say that because we definitely
struggled with that whole bottlesituation.
Jamie Ortiz (20:35):
Yeah.
Natalie (20:35):
Ellie where we did not introduce a bottle until she was
well past, I, I wanna say.
Like, I know you're supposed totry and introduce it between
three to six weeks whenbreastfeeding is well
established, whatever that meansfor the, you know,
Jamie Ortiz (20:52):
Right.
Natalie (20:53):
and the baby.
I mean some, some families.
It really is closer to that sixweek mark.
Jamie Ortiz (20:57):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (20:57):
were well past that.
And so we kind of missed thatwindow of opportunity to try to
introduce the bottle to her.
And by the time we did, sheabsolutely refused the bottle.
She only wanted the breast.
And that made me so stressedout.
There was like an instance whenshe was maybe eight weeks old,
and I had a dentist appointmentand I had to leave her and left
(21:19):
her here with Brian.
then Brian calls me like on theverge of tears because she's not
taking the bottle that we, youknow, have been trying to give
her.
And it was just, it was sostressful.
Just, I mean, little things likegoing to the dentist became this
whole ordeal because we.
We didn't have that, you know,that foresight to, okay, let,
(21:40):
this is a good idea, even ifthis isn't a super regular
thing, but, but just with someregularity, a couple bottles a
week having dad or, you know,nanny or somebody else,
grandparent give the bottle.
Usually it's, you know, helpfulfor mom to even not be in the
room or sometimes even in thehouse.
If that baby is, is very muchpreferring to only nurse.
(22:03):
But that does it, it establishessuch a healthy dynamic in the
family to where mom doesn't feellike the feeding responsibility
only it, you know, it can onlybe her
Jamie Ortiz (22:15):
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (22:16):
then dad and other family and friends and sitters
can be involved with the care.
So mom and dad can step awayseparately.
Jamie Ortiz (22:26):
Right.
Natalie (22:27):
you know, eventually for, for dates and seeing
friends and down the line goingon a trip.
You know,
Jamie Ortiz (22:34):
Yeah.
Natalie (22:34):
it's so helpful and, and I was so grateful for that
experience to just be able tokind of know the mindset behind
that.
And it was truly just a placefor me with Ellie, where I just
wanted to love my baby girl byjust nursing her and, and all
the things.
But I, I neglected.
(22:55):
That other half of, but thisalso puts all of us at a
disadvantage.
Jamie Ortiz (23:01):
Right.
Natalie (23:02):
and, and so it is important to do that.
So I'm glad you brought that upbecause that is a huge part.
And then, you know, the sharingthat, that responsibility in the
night so that mom can actually.
Jamie Ortiz (23:12):
Yes.
Natalie (23:12):
sleep with a child.
Like I said, Ellie was a goodsleeper and so that was the
other kind of, it was like a,you know, double-edged sword
there where she was a goodsleeper and so it wasn't like a,
an issue for me to nurse her'cause she would usually go
right back down to sleep.
Jamie Ortiz (23:25):
Yeah.
Natalie (23:26):
yeah, if you're a, if you're a mom, if nursing your
baby who just will not go backto sleep or really has an issue
sleeping after nursing in thenight,
Jamie Ortiz (23:36):
Yeah.
Natalie (23:36):
help
Jamie Ortiz (23:37):
Yeah.
Natalie (23:38):
is vital
Jamie Ortiz (23:39):
Oh my gosh.
Natalie (23:40):
your functioning.
Jamie Ortiz (23:41):
Exactly.
I mean, it's not even just like,oh, I feel rested and have
energy.
It's like, no, it actually, ifyou are sleep deprived, it
affects everything in your body,so like, it's, it's more than,
oh, let me just sleep, train,because, you know, nobody's
sleeping.
I do it honestly more because ofthe, the couples that I work
with.
Like, I'm here for your marriageand if your husband is sleeping
(24:02):
or you are sleeping in separaterooms for going on six, seven
months, I'm not okay with that.
I can guarantee your spouseisn't okay with it.
He just doesn't know how to tellyou because we're protective
over our babies.
Right.
So, you know, I always say like,we need to think about.
All those things so that nobodygets forgotten in the mix of,
while we're trying to figure outwhat does motherhood look like,
(24:22):
because it is, you kind of getlost in it, especially your
first time around'cause youdon't know what you're doing and
you know, you wanna be the bestthat you can be and you know and
actually the other thing is, Iwould say really more towards
like month, three of your, ofyour baby being born.
Aim to at least put them downfor a nap in their own sleep
space at least once per day.
(24:42):
Get them used to what is goingto be where they are going to,
you know, end up eventually.
Co-sleeping is, is a real thing.
Most of the babies that I workwith is because they're
co-sleeping and they don't knowhow to kind of gently find ways
to get them to their own space.
So, you know, aim at least onenap after baby is three months
old or at three months and getthem used to their spot.
Natalie (25:02):
I love that.
Well, thank you, Jamie.
So much for sharing yourpersonal stories and your
incredible expertise.
If a family wants to connectwith you to learn more about
sleep consulting and, and waysthat you can serve them in that
way, how can people get ahold ofyou?
Jamie Ortiz (25:19):
You can find me on Instagram under
@littleonessleepsociety, or onmy website,
littleonessleepsociety.com.
Natalie (25:28):
Wonderful.
And I'll have all of that in theshow notes as well.
but thank you so much again.
You are a delight, and I justloved hearing your wild stories.
It is not about, perfection inmotherhood.
is not about things goingexactly to the plan that you
wanted for your birth, yourmotherhood journey, your sleep
(25:51):
journey, truly is up to the Lordand in his sovereignty to have
everything pan out the way thathe has called it to and, and
when we.
Like what you did, where youjust have time to meditate on
that and to really just trustthe Lord, not just in theory,
(26:11):
but as it's happening.
Trusting him with the outcome,knowing that he is in control,
even when it seems out ofcontrol, even if the outcome
that happens was the literallast thing you wanted,
Jamie Ortiz (26:26):
Right.
Natalie (26:26):
still good
Jamie Ortiz (26:27):
Yeah.
Natalie (26:27):
in that situation.
that.
Jamie Ortiz (26:31):
oh gosh, I'll talk about Him anytime.
And the amount of women thatI've been able to actually,
military spouses specifically,I've gone through.
So they're almost the same typeof story, and I'm like, I've
never had that happen before,and now all of a sudden it
happens to me and there's likeall these women in my face that
are going through it, and I'mlike, I mean, at least I know.
(26:52):
So it's not for nothing.
Do you know what I mean?
So,
Natalie (26:55):
And you're so right.
I feel like the more we shareour stories, the more other
women come out of the woodworksand they're like, that happened
to me too.
Or that happened to somebodyclose that I love.
And it just brings us alltogether especially as sisters
in Christ where we get to just.
Band together and be like, youknow what, this, this situation
(27:17):
sucks.
Jamie Ortiz (27:18):
Yes.
Natalie (27:19):
I have some, some friends and you know, clients
right now walking through somevery, very hard stuff.
But you know, when we, when webring other women, into this
experience, we get to love andencourage each other in a way
that's like.
Filled with truth.
It is not you know, I hopethings work out or I hope
(27:39):
everything is okay, but knowing
Jamie Ortiz (27:42):
Yeah.
Natalie (27:43):
the Lord truly is working all things for our good
and his glory always ineverything and we get to rest in
that truth uniquely, as thosethat love and follow Jesus.
Jamie Ortiz (27:55):
Yeah, absolutely.
Natalie (27:58):
appreciate you,
Jamie Ortiz (27:58):
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
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