September 9, 2025 • 53 mins
In this episode, I'm sharing the incredible birth journey of my very first doula client, Nicki—a foster mom of five whose three births taught her (and me!) powerful lessons about overcoming fear, trusting God's timing, and finding peace through trauma.
Nicki's story begins with a terrifying first birth that left her with a fourth-degree tear, massive blood loss, and months of painful recovery. Determined never to experience that again, she felt God calling her toward natural birth—but with no roadmap and plenty of fear. That's where our paths crossed, and together we navigated two more births that were completely different from her first.
From an irritable uterus that had her contracting for months, to lightning-fast labors that barely got us to the hospital in time, Nicki's journey is full of unexpected turns, divine timing, and the faithfulness of God through every contraction. Her story will encourage any mama who's walking through birth trauma, pregnancy anxiety, or simply wondering how to trust God with the unknown.
Whether you're planning your first birth or your fifth, struggling with fear from a previous experience, or curious about the difference doula support can make—this episode is packed with hope, practical wisdom, and reminders that God is present in every part of your birth story.
In this episode, Nicki shares:
🌸 How she moved from crippling birth fear to confident natural delivery
🩺 Navigating an irritable uterus and months of "practice" contractions
🏥 The dramatic difference doula support made in her preparation and birth experience
✝️ How her faith carried her through postpartum anxiety and into joy
👶 Why her lightning-fast labors taught us both to trust God's perfect timing
💕 Encouragement for mamas in every season—from pregnancy fears to juggling multiple littles
Scripture Shared: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future." – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Mentioned in this episode:
✨ Christian Mama Birth Prep Library: Free birth prep tools, worship playlists & more
💛 Work with Me 1:1 - Personalized pregnancy and birth support that integrates faith and evidence-based care, including virtual coaching, doula support, and comprehensive childbirth education.
If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.
Let's keep choosing faith over fear, one birth story at a time. Go here for the full blog post, show notes, and all resources mentioned!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natalie Portman (00:45):
I am so excited to welcome today's guest, Nicki
Uria, to the podcast.
Nicki is a mama of five, threebiological and two adopted from
foster care.
She and her husband Craig, havea passion for travel,
homeschooling their kids, andliving a life rooted in their
faith in Jesus.
Nicki holds such a special placein my heart because she was
(01:06):
actually my very first doulaclient.
I had the honor of supportingher at the birth of her second
biological son, and thatexperience was truly life
changing for me.
It confirmed in such a powerfulway that this was the work God
was calling me to do, andanother cool tidbit.
I actually had the joy ofsupporting her again for the
birth of their youngest, whichwas just another incredible
(01:28):
moment I got with Nicki.
What I love about Nicki is howshe leans fully on the Lord
through every season.
From natural and medicatedbirths to adoption and the
everyday moments of motherhood.
Her heart is to encourage othermoms that you can do what God
has called you to do even whenit feels uncertain.
Nicki, thank you so much forbeing here today.
Nicki Uria (01:50):
Thanks Natalie.
I am excited to be here with youon your podcast.
Natalie Portman (01:54):
Me too.
I have just been dying to haveyou on the podcast, so let's
dive right in.
Let's start from the verybeginning.
What was it like for you tobecome a mama?
Nicki Uria (02:06):
My journey to becoming a mom was not the
conventional route.
Normally people start with theirbiological kids.
But we really felt a strongcalling to go into foster care.
We had seen just through otherfamilies, and I was a teacher
for a long time in a Title oneschool where I was the person
(02:26):
calling DCF on families when Ifelt like kids were not properly
being taken care of.
And so God just put this hugeburden on our heart to become
foster parents and to take inthose kids who needed a safe
place to stay for however long.
So early on actually in ourmarriage, we started fostering.
And we had several fosterplacements two of which as
(02:49):
Natalie mentioned earlier, thatwe were able to adopt.
We got to have one boy who was10.
He was reunited, with a grandma.
And then we have two boys thatwe fostered for a while that got
adopted by some sweet friends ofours.
So it's been a really neatjourney, but we did that for
quite a while.
(03:09):
And then God called us to haveour biological kids.
We have Wyatt, Andrew, andKeaton.
Natalie Portman (03:15):
I just love your heart, Nicki.
You really do just want to loveand serve the least of these,
and that's what I love aboutyour heart is that is what you
show every single day takingcare of your littles and even
other people's littles thatbecome yours.
It's just, it's so sweet.
So let's dive into what it waslike that first time you were
(03:36):
actually pregnant yourself.
Nicki Uria (03:38):
Yeah, so I was so excited.
You know, it's what I had waitedfor and I just was so ready.
When I found out I was pregnantwith my first little son, Wyatt.
And it's fun'cause my sisteractually came over.
My sister and I are bestfriends, very close, and she
came over and told me she waspregnant.
(03:59):
And I kept thinking in my head,oh, I just can't wait till the
day that I'm pregnant.
Like, I can't wait.
Like I would so love of Kristen,my sister and I were pregnant
together.
Well not even a week later Irealized I was pregnant as well.
And so it was such a gift to beable to do that season with her.
it was so fun, I was also anervous wreck.
(04:22):
Like I had in my head this fearof giving birth ever since I was
little.
I just just think about like, ohmy goodness.
Women always say how horrible itis and how painful it is, and
you have to have an epidural orelse you're gonna just die on
the table.
And so in my mind, I was just, Iloved being pregnant, but I was
(04:44):
like, I am terrified of what isto come.
so that was always kind ofhanging over my head, but in my
mind I just was like, you knowwhat?
I'll do an epidural.
I'll be fine everyone does it.
It's just gonna be okay.
I tried to really enjoypregnancy.
It was challenging'cause when Iwas pregnant, I had a,
(05:05):
10-year-old that we werefostering, I had our 2-year-old
and 1-year-old, that we werefostering as well.
And so I was already a mama ofthree, and so I was very busy.
I worked full time and we alsomoved.
And so I felt like it was a verybusy season.
But I was very blessed.
I didn't get sick nearly likemost women do.
(05:25):
I had a really easy pregnancy,thankfully.
Natalie Portman (05:28):
That's awesome.
I can't even imagine my firsttime being pregnant and then
also having to take care ofthree other kids.
So God bless you, Nicki.
You are amazing.
So let's now talk about the waysthat you prepared for your first
birth experience.
Because like you're saying,there was a lot of fear that was
there.
(05:49):
But how did you prepare for thatexperience besides just
resolving that, oh, I'm gonnaget an epidural because that's
what people do to get throughthe intensity of childbirth.
Nicki Uria (05:59):
Yeah, so it was interesting cause my sister and
I, we walked this seasontogether hand in hand.
And the reason I mention her isbecause she was on a whole
different journey.
Even though we were only like aweek apart in our due dates.
She wanted to do natural.
She knew from the get go she wasgonna get a doula and was trying
(06:19):
to convince me to do the same.
And in my head, I just had itblocked off.
I just was like, that is notsomething I could do.
God is not called me to do that.
I'm just gonna get through it.
So I just kind of went throughthe route of going to the
birthing classes in thehospital.
I went and talked to theanesthesiologist, I tried to
(06:39):
make up a birthing plan and doas much research as I could to
do things as natural as I could,but with an epidural.
Meaning I wanted to do delayedcord clamping.
I wanted to be able to do skinto skin.
So I tried to get that kind ofstuff ready.
But honestly, I was really inthe dark except for the things
that my sister would tell mefrom the things that she learned
(07:00):
from her doula.
I just was trying to figurethings out on my own and was
walking pretty blindly.
And honestly walking with a lotof fear of what was to come,
'cause I, I was just, had thisblock in my head that it was
gonna be such a scaryexperience.
Natalie Portman (07:15):
Yeah I tell my clients, you don't know what you
don't even know, and there arethings as you're preparing for
this journey that as a doula wecan help you even know what to
have on your radar, so to speak.
And so I love that your sister,had that doula support and then
as an overflow of what she waslearning.
(07:37):
You were learning some otherthings that you weren't, like
you said, you just were walkingblindly that first go because
you just didn't even know whatto expect or how to prepare
yourself.
I'm sure you and your sister arevery similar, but even just that
mindset of she was resolved topursue unmedicated and I just
knew that's not what I wanted.
(07:57):
And that's fine.
Like I think that there's amisconception that as a doula
I'm only there to support momswho are planning to have a very
low intervention, no medicationtype of birth.
But I do think that the Lord canbe very specific with us.
And we need to just be sensitiveto what we feel like the Lord is
(08:17):
calling us to do.
However.
I also think that we shouldn'tmake decisions outta fear.
So I think we can make decisionslike having an epidural where we
make that decision because we'reafraid of the pain, or we can
choose a medicated birth becausewe fear other people's opinions
of us or what our own opinion ofourself might be, or other
(08:41):
factors.
And so regardless of the womanwho's listening right now
thinking, oh, I probably need topursue an unmedicated birth no,
it, that's not the point.
It's you need to be sensitive towhat the Holy Spirit is leading
you to do and to make sureyou're making decisions not
outta fear, but out of faith inthe Lord and what he's calling
(09:02):
you to do.
Nicki Uria (09:03):
Yeah, I 100% agree and I feel like just having the
doula support through thepregnancy journey gave my sister
so much confidence in what Godhad called her to do, and just
helped her mentally prepare andknow what to do when the time
came.
Whereas I felt like because Iwas on my own, I was just
(09:24):
Googling and trying to figure itout and asking friends and
asking questions, and when youdo that, you're just like
walking blindly.
And so I just feel like havingdoula support, medicated or
unmedicated does make a hugedifference.
Natalie Portman (09:39):
Yeah, I totally agree.
So let's dive now into Wyatt'sactual birth story.
So how far along were you whenyou went into labor and how did
everything get started?
Nicki Uria (09:50):
I was 37 weeks and I had gone to a Christmas party
and came home and was havingcontractions, and I just kept
thinking, huh, I'm having lotsof Braxton Hicks.
I'm so tired from that Christmasparty.
And as the night progressed andwe put the kids to bed, I
started thinking like, huh,these are getting pretty
(10:13):
painful, but surely this is notlabor.
Because in my head I had thisfear that birth was going to
make it so unbearable that Iwould not be able to handle
anything.
So I was like, surely this isn'tlabor.
Like this hurts, but it's like aperiod cramp, you know?
Like I'm fine.
So I kept telling my husband Ithink it's just braxton hicks
(10:34):
like I just keep having them andI let it go on probably for like
30 minutes and eventually I wason the phone with my sister and
she's like, Hey, Nicki, this isnot Braxton Hicks, like, you're
in labor.
Granted, if I had had a doula, Iwould've probably known, but I
was like, oh, okay, this, thisis labor.
(10:55):
Like, you know, it does hurt.
Like I am struggling to breathethrough my contractions, so it
does make sense that it doeshurt.
So we got my mom to watch thekids and I got to the hospital
and I ended up progressing veryfast.
I, when I got there, pretty muchwent to eight centimeters and
they looked at me and they saidHey, if you want an epidural,
(11:16):
you have to do it now.
I was like, okay, I guess, Iguess give it to me.
So at that point, my, my beingin labor was just a couple of
hours, very short.
So I got the epidural and atthat point my labor stopped.
I was able to rest.
And I just kinda like laidthere, but nothing was
(11:36):
happening.
Like I went from super fast tojust nothing.
And I eventually finallyprogressed enough.
But Wyatt's head was really bigin the 99th percentile.
As I was ready to push and theytold me I was ready to push, I
started pushing and pushing andpushing, and I pushed for an
(11:58):
hour and a half and he justcouldn't get out of the canal.
And so the doctor said, Hey, ifhe's, he's gonna not get out of
here.
It's gonna get dangerous.
We're gonna have to do anepisiotomy.
If you do not do the episiotomy,we're gonna probably have to do
an emergency C-section.
I was terrified.
I knew going in, I did not wantto have to do a C-section if I
(12:20):
didn't have to.
So I said, okay, you know, Ilooked around at all the nurses,
'cause that's all the people Ihad to help me.
And I said, what would you do?
Would you guys do in aepisiotomy?
And they all said, yep, I woulddo it.
So I did it and Wyatt came outthe next push.
But I ended up tearing to thefourth degree and that was the
(12:40):
most painful of the wholeexperience.
It took a very long time torecover and was just very
painful right out of the gate,just tearing that badly.
and he was a pretty small baby.
Like I said, I was 37 weeks.
He was only seven pounds, whichis not ginormous.
So the reason I tore so bad wasthe e episiotomy, and if I
(13:02):
would've known differently, Iwould've chosen probably not to
do it.
In that situation,
Natalie Portman (13:07):
Oh, Nicki, that breaks my heart.
It, I knew that about your storyobviously because I was your
doula the second time, but itis.
Very rare to have a fourthdegree tear.
And fourth degree tears are whenyou tear from the vaginal to the
anal opening completely.
And yeah, the recovery for thatis insane.
(13:29):
And episiotomies do increase thedegree of the tear.
If you had naturally torn it,might have been less, but at
that point with you pushing anhour and a half, obviously I
wasn't there to say oh yeah, youshould have done it or you
shouldn't have done it at theend of the day that's what the
Lord had for your story.
But wow, that's so intense.
(13:50):
And thank God Wyatt was heresafely and all the things, but
it's still okay to grieve thefact that happened because that
is really rough when thathappens.
I have actually yet to, towitness a fourth degree tear or
an epi episiotomy and I pray Inever do.
But that's intense.
I'm so sorry.
(14:11):
So Nicki, tell me what was thatpostpartum recovery like for
you, since you had such anintense delivery?
I.
Nicki Uria (14:19):
It was really rough, Natalie.
The, the following day, the dayafter I gave birth, I gave birth
early in the morning.
So that whole next day Icouldn't stand really.
I would, I lost so much bloodthat if I stood up, I would pass
out.
So they kept having to walk meto the bathroom or help me to go
anywhere.
My other kids came to meet himand I couldn't get out of the
(14:41):
bed to, to be with them and tohelp introduce the baby to the
kids.
I was honestly just bedbound inso much pain and so lightheaded
from all the blood loss.
I thought that was normal.
I didn't realize that that isnot normal to feel that
lightheaded and to feel so justweak after giving birth.
(15:03):
And I mean, it's normal to feelweak but not pass out level
weak.
And even when I got home, I wasbleeding a ton.
I bled for weeks on end, waypast my six week checkup, I was
still bleeding.
I was pretty weak even for awhile.
Like, I remember even afterhaving Wyatt for a week, mom
(15:24):
saying like, Hey, let's walkaround the street, like the
neighborhood.
Just say, let's get out a littlebit.
And I remember walking down mystreet and just being like, I
can't walk more than this.
Like I am.
This is way too much.
And I'm a very active person.
I work out, I have lots of kidsthat I'm running around.
I'm not one to just sit ever.
(15:45):
So it's very unlike me.
But just I think having so muchblood loss and going through, so
much pain with that fourthdegree caused me to be really
weak.
So it took me a while till I wasup walking around the
neighborhood and able to reallycare for my other kids like I
wanted to.
So it was, it was a challenge.
(16:06):
it did help me for sure.
After that, I, I looked at myhusband though, and I said, if
we have another baby, if Godblesses us with another, I'm not
doing this again.
I don't want another fourthdegree.
So whatever it takes, I'm goingto do whatever it is so I don't
have to have a fourth degreetear.
And turns out that was usingyou, Natalie, that God ended up
(16:29):
putting you in my life, whichwas such a gift for my next
pregnancy.
Because I just knew, I knew Icouldn't go through that again.
It was, it was really hard andand really taxing on my body.
My mom tore a fourth degree withmy brother and she had a very
similar experience and that, sobecause of that I just kind of
thought it was normal'cause shewent through that.
(16:52):
and so, yeah, I'm sure there area lot of women that just kind of
suffer through it and I'm surethere was things that I could
have done to help it.
Natalie Portman (17:00):
Yeah.
So even though that was yourexperience, and especially not
knowing anything else to compareit to.
It is definitely not normal tobleed to that degree for that
long and definitely worth ifthat's your experience.
Mama who's listening to makesure your providers are checking
(17:21):
your hemoglobin checking to makesure that there's no retained,
tissue or placenta or anythingthat would cause that much
bleeding.
That also not only affects howyou feel, but it can also
drastically mess with your milksupply if you're intending to
breastfeed and has all theseother hormonal just chains that
are set off.
(17:42):
So really important to gaugewhat's normal and what's not.
And if you're feeling horribleafter you deliver and it's just
not going, it's not gettingbetter consistently, that's
absolutely worth notifying yourprovider and sticking to it.
Even if they don't wanna listen,even if they think that it's all
(18:03):
in your head, you continue tospeak up or you let your partner
know, Hey, I need you to fightfor me'cause this is not right.
The way I feel is not right.
I'm not able to do normal thingsanymore, and it's been weeks
after I've delivered I needsomebody to help me.
So let's now get into yourexperience with Andrew, your
second biological son, and thatpregnancy and kind of what you
(18:28):
were doing to prepare for thatbirth experience.
Nicki Uria (18:31):
So, like I said, I knew I did not want to do, go
through what I went throughbefore and God just put it on my
heart that I was gonna do anatural birth.
I felt like.
I didn't go well with theepidural, so maybe natural would
be the way to go.
It just, God made that reallyclear to me in multiple
different ways.
(18:51):
I was praying through a doula.
Honestly.
I wanted someone that I wouldtrust, someone I would feel
comfortable with.
I didn't really know where tofind one except for who my
sister used, but my sister'sperson was moving out of the
state, so that was not gonna bean option.
and I was at dinner with one ofmy good friends who happens to
be Natalie's sister, and wasjust talking through how I knew
(19:15):
God was calling me to get adoula.
it just all with just, God laidit out and had a perfect plan
for it.
'cause Kellie was able to hookme and Natalie up and because
Natalie had just finished herdoula trainings and so that was
just such a gift from God and itjust really, it me see that God
(19:38):
was in control and that God waslike, yep, you are doing this.
Like I am calling you to do thisnatural birth and I'm gonna
provide for you and I'm gonnatake care of you through this
process.
And so having Natalie made sucha difference, like when I was
pregnant with Andrew thatjourney was kind of rough in the
beginning because I ended upmiscarrying after Wyatt, I had a
(19:59):
miscarriage and then I gotpregnant.
Maybe about four months afterthe miscarriage with Andrew.
so there was a little bit offear in that pregnancy,
especially in the early days.
And I think it took me a littlewhile to move forward and, and
to start preparing for birth.
But once I got Natalie and wasable to really focus on that
(20:20):
birth, she just really helped mefeel confident and feel, feel
ready and prepared by giving metechniques, giving me just tips
and tricks, just helping me knowwhat to expect and what to do
when the time came.
Andrew's pregnancy was a littlebit different as well because at
(20:41):
30 weeks I got diagnosed with anirritable uterus and because I
had too much amniotic fluid, sothat basically caused
contractions all the time.
I was having contractions waymore than typical Braxton Hicks.
They would be often on a regularschedule, like every five
minutes for an hour or two hoursor every three minutes, or
(21:04):
sometimes sporadic.
It was almost like I was inpreterm labor for quite some
time.
And so.
It made my doctor want me to goon like a modified bedrest where
she asked me to limit all of theactivity that I was doing, which
at that point I had three kidsat home and I was still working
(21:24):
full-time.
and so that was very difficult.
I did my best and thankfully shedid say modified, so I did the
best that I could with the threekids at home.
But anytime I was more activeand up around cooking, doing
laundry, the contractions wouldstart and it would just be
contraction after contractionafter contraction.
(21:46):
And they were nervous that thecontractions would end up being
successful contractions, notjust like practice contractions,
which is why they wanted me togo on the modified bedrest.
So that was difficult.
But thankfully God was incontrol and Andrew stayed in,
up, up until 38 weeks and Iended up having a healthy
(22:08):
pregnancy.
Natalie Portman (22:09):
Yeah.
It's crazy because you havingsuch an irritable uterus, so to
speak, and having all thosewarmup contractions, it was also
messing with me since you weremy first doula client that I.
I had a hard time knowing atthat point, when to pay
attention to things or when tolet it pass and just understand
(22:30):
that, okay, Nicki's body's justhaving a lot of this warmup.
And, it being my first time everbeing somebody's doula, I was
like also on edge with you.
But I remember the night beforeyou actually went into labor,
when you reached out to me andthey were coming very like
contractions were coming veryregularly and pretty strong and
(22:52):
we were like, okay, this mightbe it.
So I came over to your house andwe were, trying to figure out,
what moves to do.
I was doing acupressure pointson you, like all this stuff.
We end up going to the hospitaland it was not real labor and I
just remember being like, ohman! But it's funny because we
both were fumbling at that pointa little bit of just like
(23:13):
knowing what to do becauseyou're right, it was very
confusing having thesecontractions but not really
knowing when to actually payattention to them or not.
Nicki Uria (23:23):
It was, and I remember when you came over,
they were every three minutesand we, but they weren't super
painful, but we we're curiousbecause my first pregnancy went
so fast up until the epidural,we were like, well, maybe that's
just how my body is and I don'tfeel super bad contractions, and
so maybe I am in labor.
(23:44):
so we were, it was veryconfusing.
But yeah, I remember going and Iwas only like five centimeters
and she was like, do you wannastay at the hospital or do you
wanna go home?
I went home and Natalie gave mevery clear instructions of what
to do.
She said, do the miles circuit,do these stretches, and just
(24:06):
rest, and know that God's timingis perfect and this baby's gonna
come when this baby comes, andyou're gonna know when he's
coming.
So I said, okay, that's what I'mgonna do.
So I, I went home and I did themile circuit and I got a full
night of sleep.
I did wake up some with some ofthe contractions, but for the
most part, a full night ofsleep.
And at seven 30 the nextmorning, I remember waking up.
(24:30):
I had the stomach bug and I toldmy husband, I said, Craig, I am
sick with the stomach bug.
I'm so sick.
And he was like, I don't thinkyou're sick.
I think we should call Natalie.
I think this is labor.
So he's on the phone withNatalie and she was just amazing
walking us through just thatvery beginning, like getting us
(24:51):
ready.
Okay, this is labor.
How is Nicki feeling?
This is what it is.
And it ended up going very fastfrom there.
I, I went into labor aroundseven 30.
Like I said, I took a shower andwe left for the hospital.
And basically at the time thatwe got to the hospital, I,
(25:12):
getting checked into triage andNatalie spoke up for me and made
sure that they moved me alongpretty quick.
And I remember looking at herand just saying, Natalie, I like
I have this pressure.
Like I have never felt,'causeI've never done this before,
naturally.
And she's like, honey, you're intransition.
Like this baby is coming.
And this was right after we gotto the hospital it ended up that
(25:35):
the doctor had to like run downthe hall.
They were running me down thehall and this baby basically
just flew out of me.
It was a very fast labor.
And it just went so smoothly andamazingly'cause my body, I think
just was uber prepared fromdoing all the practice
contractions.
And so Andrew just flew on out.
Natalie Portman (25:55):
I will obviously never forget your
birth because it was my firstbirth experience, but it was
insane to me how quickly thingswere progressing and, we talk
about understanding and trustingyour intuition.
I had a feeling that you were inlabor and I'm so glad that I
told you.
Nicki, I think you're in laborbecause you were having like a
(26:15):
lot of stomach upset kind ofsymptoms and when your body is
stimulating like the uterus iscontracting, it also stimulates
your bowels, which is also whylike your body clears out before
labor begins.
And so I was like, no, I thinkthis is real labor.
And honestly, I feel if I hadnot said that you may have
(26:36):
waited.
A lot longer and possibly had acar baby because yeah, things
moved so quickly.
But I remember that morning Ihad my mom come and I was like,
mom, I think my client's like inlabor.
Can you just come over just incase?
And thank God she did because I,yeah I rushed to the hospital,
which thankfully it's theclosest hospital to me.
(26:57):
Praise the Lord.
And I get there right when youguys get there, I help you,
through the check-in and we getup to the room and yeah, you
were like, I have to like poop.
And I'm like, no, Nicki, that'sa baby that's wanting to come
out.
And yeah, just the chaos oftrying to rush you up to your
room and your provider trying toget there in time and all the
(27:19):
things, man, it was a wild ride.
But yeah, everything was goingso smoothly, which is a dream.
But I also.
When you have a labor that isthis fast and furious, I imagine
from, the labors I've seen likeyours and other women's that are
very quick, it looks to me likea woman who is trying to hold on
(27:40):
to a moving freight train.
It is so intense to just becarried along for the ride of
such a quick and rapid laborexperience.
Is that what it felt like toyou?
Explain what that felt like tobe laboring just so quickly.
Nicki Uria (27:56):
Yes, that's exactly what it felt like.
I, because before I had theepidural, they told me when to
push.
This time I thought in my head Iwas like, I thought I could
control the pushing.
Absolutely not.
Like, I remember my body saying,push, and I would push and then
(28:17):
I would say, I'm gonna lay downfor just like a minute.
And then it wouldn't even be aminute I was up again pushing.
And it was, it was just so fast.
I felt as.
Not out of control a hundredpercent because I felt like you
were helping me stay so focusedthat I felt like, okay, I can do
this.
(28:38):
I got this, this is what God'scalled me to do.
And I was focusing on theworship music that we had
playing.
So I was very honed in.
I was in labor land, just likeyou say all the time.
and so I felt like mentally Iwas there, but my body yes, was
just like boom, boom, boom,contraction, contraction,
contraction.
didn't even realize till afterthat birth that a lot of women
(29:02):
like breaks where they can restin between their pushes.
Like my sister had like a solid30 minutes when she hit
transition to actually pushingout her baby.
I didn't know that was a thing.
So thankfully I wasn't expect, Ididn't know like what to expect
there.
yeah, it was, it was very fastand very, very intense.
(29:24):
And I, I do remember in themiddle of it thinking like, I
don't know if I can do this.
And you just were like, you havegot this.
Like just hang on.
You got it.
Just focus and just having youlike look me in the eyes and
tell me I could do it, was whatI needed to get through.
Natalie Portman (29:42):
And then tell us, did you tear and if you did
tear, to what degree this time,tell us, because obviously that
was a huge part of your firstbirth experience and just all of
the intensity that followedpostpartum recovery wise.
What happened this time?
Nicki Uria (29:59):
This time we were super diligent to do things to
help prevent tearing, so I madesure I was in certain positions.
And then also we did warmcompresses during the pushing,
which was amazing.
I recommend that to all my momfriends who are gonna have
babies, because that made a hugedifference and just brought so
much comfort to bring blood flowthere.
(30:19):
So I did end up tearing, butjust to the second degree,
borderline third.
But that was honestly due to howbadly I tore the first time.
If this was my first birth, Idon't think I would've torn
nearly to the same extent.
But he was a eight pound, eightounce baby, so he was bigger.
But yeah, the tearing was notnearly as bad.
(30:40):
And then when I pushed him outand I had him, I could stand up
almost immediately after Iremember my kids came and I got
up out of bed and I got to meetthem and greet them.
I went and I walked to thebathroom by myself.
I remember just feeling thisfreedom like, wow, I just gave
birth and I'm walking like thishappens to people.
(31:03):
I just remember being blownaway.
'cause of the difference betweenmy first birth to this birth, I
just felt like, wow, I don'teven, I, I felt pain.
I felt like I gave birthobviously, but I felt like I
could still be a human being andfunction and enjoy those moments
freshly postpartum.
Natalie Portman (31:22):
I was so thankful.
I think I was like on pins andneedles waiting to hear what the
OB was gonna say, how badly youtore if you tore it all, and to
just hear that it was just asecond degree.
Which is still intense, butespecially when you're comparing
that to your first experience offourth degree tear that's much
more manageable.
(31:42):
And like you're saying, youcould already tell such a huge
difference that your body wasable to cope with that so much
easier.
And I'm sure the blood loss wasdifferent and all the things,
but praise God for that.
So then tell us about thepostpartum experience for that
in comparison to Wyatt'spostpartum experience.
Nicki Uria (32:04):
It was night and day different.
I got home from the hospital andI remember was Easter Sunday,
gave birth on Good Friday, and Iremember it being Easter Sunday
and I remember saying, Hey, weshould go to church.
And my family was like, I don't,I don't think we should go to
church today.
Like, I think we should stayhome.
(32:25):
I just felt so much better I,obviously did a lot of the pads
with witch hazel to help relievesome of the discomfort.
'cause I still bled and haddiscomfort, but I was able to
cook and walk around, move.
I was going places pretty early.
I just felt so much betterpostpartum with Andrew.
(32:48):
He nursed very well.
He was a great nurser from thebeginning.
It was such a blessing, hispostpartum was really a gift
that I, that I just am sothankful for because I know most
women don't have that.
And I definitely didn't havethat my first go around.
And so it was just really niceto be able to just enjoy the
(33:08):
season of soaking in the newborncuddles and nursing and just
being with all the littles.
I,
Natalie Portman (33:14):
I love that so much.
So then you had kind of asurprise pregnancy with Keaton,
right?
So tell us about that findingout you were pregnant and what
that pregnancy was like.
Nicki Uria (33:26):
Yes, we did.
So we we were not trying to haveanother baby at this point.
We had talked about it, we knewdown the road that we probably
would, but we had four littlesall under the age of six.
And so we were like, you know,maybe in a few years we'll have
another.
but of course, God's timing isdifferent than ours.
(33:47):
And we had taken a big trip outwest for, four to five weeks.
And while we were out there wewere driving around the
mountains and the, canyons aton.
And I just remember being overthere and feeling pretty
nauseous oftentimes, butthinking, oh, we're just driving
through the canyons a lot.
We're traveling, we're hikingfive miles every day.
(34:11):
So surely like, that's, that'sall why I am nauseous.
And we went the whole trip, Idid not have any clue that I was
pregnant.
while we were there, I keptgaining weight in my belly and I
was like, wow, this is sostrange.
Like, I'm hiking so much and Ijust keep gaining weight, like
(34:31):
something is wrong with myhormones.
So I told my husband when I waslike, when we got back from our
trip, I said, I've gotta go getsomething, something checked
out.
Like I just feel likesomething's not right.
Like I'm gaining weight, I'mjust not feeling.
A hundred percent like myself.
he's like, okay, yeah, I'm sureyou're fine.
But okay.
(34:51):
Well, we were headed out one dayand in my head I said, you know,
I wonder if I'm pregnant.
Like, I wonder if that's whatthis is.
So I quickly took a pregnancytest.
We were actually headed toSeaWorld, and in my mind I was
like, oh, this is probably gonnabe negative.
There's no way I'm pregnant.
And it was positive.
(35:13):
we were just shocked.
We were blown away just'cause wehad not planned it.
It was so unexpected.
but we, we were excited, just alittle, a little nervous about
what was to come, but we wereexcited.
I went to the doctor thefollowing week and it turned out
I was 15 weeks.
So I was well into my secondtrimester.
And when they were normallygonna do the vaginal, I.
(35:34):
ultrasound, they ended up justdoing one on the belly and you
could see the full baby inthere.
And it was just such a gift.
It was so exciting to find out Iwas pregnant and then there I
was, just had this big old babyin my belly.
so it, it was exciting.
Natalie Portman (35:50):
I knew you were traveling when you suspected or
if you could tell something wasoff, but I didn't realize you
were just that active and whatis happening in my body?
Oh my goodness.
So funny.
So then it's funny too, becauseYou didn't know how far along
you were when you found out youwere pregnant, but I remember
you pulled me aside at churchand you're like, Natalie, I have
(36:12):
something to tell you.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
What?
You're like, I'm pregnant.
And I'm like I'm like, reallypregnant too.
So our boys were what, like sixweeks apart?
Like their due dates were sixweeks apart or something around
there.
And you're like, oh, Natalie, Ilike need you to help me.
And I'm like, I really want tobe there for you, but I am so
(36:35):
pregnant.
Oh my gosh.
Help me help you.
Nicki Uria (36:38):
Yeah, I remember finding out, and one of the
first things that day I told myhusband, I was like, oh,
Natalie's pregnant.
Oh my gosh.
And I had told you after I hadAndrew, I said, I will.
have you, if I have anotherbaby, like I will not give birth
without you.
And so in my head I was like,I've gotta have Natalie.
(37:01):
And so I was panicked about thatand prayed a lot about it.
And you were so gracious to saythat you could do it and you
could help me for this baby.
Which was such a gift'cause Iwas terrified to do it without
you.
Even though I felt prepared.
You had taught me all thethings.
My husband is an amazingsupporter.
I knew he could handle it I knewI could find another doula to
(37:24):
help.
But something about you, likejust having you with me was just
such a comfort and somethingthat I really wanted.
Natalie Portman (37:31):
Yeah, and it honestly, it broke my heart to
think me not being there tosupport you, especially when
that was what your heartdesired.
I, I don't ever presume to belike, oh, somebody needs me
there, to, to support them by nomeans.
But I knew that was your heart,that you really wanted me to be
there.
And so Brian and I prayed a lotabout it too, and just Lord,
(37:52):
help me know what to do becauseI, I have pretty good boundaries
when it comes to, not takingclients around important dates
or travel and that kind ofstuff.
I've gotten much better aboutthat over the years of being a
doula, just because I want torespect not only my own
boundaries, but just to the bestfor my clients as well.
(38:12):
But with you specifically, I waslike Lord knows she gives birth
very quickly.
And even though, you were just amonth or so behind me and, our
pregnancy I just felt a peaceabout it.
A peace that truly just camefrom the Lord that it was all
gonna work out.
And so I didn't stress about it,and I just knew that whenever
(38:34):
you were gonna go into labor,the Lord was gonna work it out.
And I had even prepared you Hey,there is a scenario where I
can't make it to you, wheresomething crazy happens.
And you guys were totallywilling to accept that as like
the caveat of me taking you onafter just having had a baby
myself.
So it was really sweet too,despite kind of all the crazy
circumstances that the Lord wasyet again, just working
(38:58):
everything out for us in thebackground.
And and we just needed to prayand trust in him in his plan.
Nicki Uria (39:05):
Yeah, I remember even after going into labor with
Keaton God so lines it up soperfectly that you had even
nursed, I think right before youcame to the hospital and I was
done with my labor.
I can get into that in a second,but I was done with my labor by
the time you needed to nurseagain, by the time he woke up.
So God just so ordained that andit, it was such a gift.
(39:29):
'cause I, I know God would'veequipped me.
I strongly believe he will bringus through whatever it is he
calls us to do.
it, it was just like him smilingdown on me and saying, Hey, I, I
got you.
Like, you're okay.
Like, Natalie's there.
She's supporting you.
Like I, I'm in control of thiswhole pregnancy and birthing
(39:50):
experience.
Natalie Portman (39:52):
Absolutely.
So yeah, let's get into Keaton'sbirth.
Go.
Through, how far along you wereand how all that started.
Nicki Uria (39:59):
With Keaton, it was a pretty similar experience to
Andrew, except I thankfully didnot have an irritable uterus.
He had a very healthy pregnancythe whole time.
And right before was due, it wasabout 37 weeks, I wanted to
start getting my labor alongjust because Wyatt was.
(40:20):
7 pounds, five ounces.
And he was three weeks early.
Andrew was two weeks early.
He was eight pounds, eightounces.
So I knew around 37 weeks that Iwanted the baby to start moving
because I didn't want a 10 poundbaby at 40 weeks.
And so Natalie had mentioned tome to go to the chiropractor and
to do acupuncture, I was kindaskeptical at first if it would
(40:44):
work or do anything, but I wentand she did acupuncture on me
and said, honestly, the majorityof women go into labor within 24
hours.
So I told my husband like, Hey,get ready.
Like this is what she said.
And I was 37 weeks at thispoint, my husband was very
skeptical.
(41:04):
He did not believe that I wouldgo into labor anytime soon, but
I did.
Literally within 24 hours, wehad been walking around, I had
done some curb walking with himand that night I started having
those contractions and I told myhusband though, I said, you
know, I think it's gonna goaway.
(41:25):
Like I think it's Braxton Hicks,it's just gonna go away.
he was like, okay.
Like sure, why don't you laydown, try to get some rest like
you did with Andrew and maybe inthe morning we will have another
morning baby.
'cause you know, we don't wannahave a baby at night.
I need my sleep.
And so I was like, okay.
So I laid down and in about 10minutes I was like, okay, this
(41:47):
is not going away.
Like these are very, they'regetting more intense and they're
getting closer together.
so I called Natalie and it felthorrible calling her by the way,
'cause she had the newborn.
But she was so sweet andgracious and was like, yeah,
this is probably labor.
from there it progressed veryfast, just like Andrew, and we
(42:08):
rushed to the hospital and I gotthere.
I got checked into my room, andI think it was a total of one
and a half hours from the timethat labor started to the time
that Keaton came out.
So it was, once again, a veryintense birth.
But thankfully it was verysmooth and he basically flew
(42:28):
out.
But I, for him only tore to thefirst degree, borderline second,
so I barely tore, which was ahuge gift.
And it was just a very smoothdelivery and I'm thankful for
that.
Natalie Portman (42:42):
I was hoping and suspecting that you would
have another quick labor, for mysake.
I know for you that is, it's avery intense experience, but
yeah, like you mentioned, it wasjust insane how the Lord had
timed it.
I think you guys even had a hardtime getting ahold of me, which
like terrified me from thatpoint on because we had like a
(43:02):
sound machine on and like Isaid, we had a newborn, so I
remember you had a hard timegetting a hold of us.
I think you had to call Brian,but it worked.
You got a hold of him.
He got me up and I got there intime, but yeah.
What a fast, beautiful laborexperience.
And then tell us how thatpostpartum experience was.
How was nursing, how wasrecovery?
All the things.
Nicki Uria (43:23):
Postpartum was very similar to Andrew's.
Uh.
It was pretty smooth.
Thankfully, I, I tore less thistime and so the recovery was
much easier.
I felt like I was able to getback to doing things little bit
easier.
I did struggle a little bit thisround with just juggling all the
(43:45):
kids with a newborn.
It felt like it was easier to beon the go and keep my life
moving.
So I just kind of just kepttrucking along and trying to
just keep things moving.
'cause the minute we're home, Ifelt like they would destroy the
house and I would have to becleaning up a million messes
while also trying to nurse andhold the baby but overall it, it
(44:08):
was pretty smooth.
Just, just had to figure out,juggling five kids at home, you
know, all young.
And also I homeschool and sohomeschooling and all that as
well.
But the postpartum, he nursedreally well and I, I healed
pretty quickly, so I'm thankful.
I did do some physical therapyfor my pelvic floor just because
(44:32):
I knew after having threebabies, especially after having
Wyatt and all the trauma thatthat caused, so I did do a lot
of pelvic floor therapy afterKeaton.
I was really intentional withthat, and I think that that was
very helpful.
This time around.
Natalie Portman (44:46):
I love that you did that.
Yeah.
That's one of those things thatnot a lot of women are aware
that their pelvic floor functionor dysfunction is something to
really pay attention to and I'mso glad that you were able to
take that time to, to focus onyourself because not only is
that good for recovering frombirth, but just long-term health
(45:06):
having a pelvic floor that'sfunctional allows you to just
stay more capable, well into oldage.
So that's awesome.
I'm so glad you did that.
Thank you, Nicki, for coming onhere and sharing your birth
experiences.
I would love for you to giveyour overall takeaway for mamas
that are listening whateverstage that they're in.
(45:27):
If they are, this is their firstpregnancy and they also can
relate to just being fearful.
Or this is their third pregnancyand they are trying to think
through what they want for thisexperience and trying to move
away from maybe some trauma orfear from previous experiences.
Or maybe the mama who is, takingcare of multiple littles and
(45:50):
just all the life stress andbalance that's required in that
season.
Any encouragement for any ofthose mamas?
Nicki Uria (45:58):
Yeah, I would say to just try to take one day at a
time.
I feel like it's really easy togo down the what ifs or the
what's to come.
And so with that, it, you can becrippled with fear.
At least I know I can be.
And I felt that with my, mypregnancy with Wyatt.
I even felt that being pregnantwith Andrew and having the
(46:20):
irritable uterus, like what ifhe is six weeks early?
What if he is in the nicu?
And then also just balancing allthe littles.
When I start getting ahead ofmyself, of, oh, well after this
week, like, what am I gonna do?
Like, how do I get through this?
It can just be very overwhelmingand really stressful, and it's
hard to enjoy those, thosemoments that we get as moms.
(46:43):
So I would just say, enjoy theday that you're in right now.
God has you right now whereyou're supposed to be.
He has the future in his handsand you don't have to worry
about it.
He's fully in control and he'sholding you exactly where he
needs you to be.
And so just trust him.
Trust that today, whatever it isthat he's bringing your way,
(47:05):
that you can enjoy it.
And just soak in those, thosemoments, whether it be
pregnancy, enjoy, even if you'renot loving pregnancy, enjoy the
fact that you get this specialbond with your baby that you'll
never get again.
Or those newborn cuddles thatyou're gonna miss one day.
And people say it, but it'strue.
Like you don't get those littlenewborn snuggles, but just for a
(47:28):
couple months.
So enjoy it, soak it up.
Or even the toddlers or theelementary age kids when they're
driving you crazy, just enjoy itbecause it goes so fast.
and just try to be intentionalwith what it is that God's
called you to do for today.
If it's to be a, a mom to yourlittles, if it's to work,
whatever it is, try to just beintentional and, and diligent in
(47:52):
doing whatever it is that he'scalled you to do.
Oh, and another thing I wantedto encourage whoever is
listening with especially forthose postpartum mamas, it's
very common to struggle withpostpartum anxiety or postpartum
depression.
And often we think, oh, it's,it's nothing.
It's just normal.
I did not realize until I hadAndrew and Keaton that I had had
(48:16):
postpartum anxiety with Wyatt.
And I, I was very fearful when.
After I had him, like I was soafraid that he would get sick
with RSV or that he would getSIDS and pass away while he's
sleeping.
I mean, the list was, wasthrough the roof of what I was
(48:36):
afraid of, what could happen tohim.
And it, it was way more than mynormal anxiety.
I have anxiety, but not anythingthat I would say is more than a
typical woman.
I just thought that was normalmom behavior or normal mom
thinking.
But after having Andrew andKeaton, I realized what
(48:56):
postpartum anxiety looked likeand how that's not what we want
and that's not normal.
And so if you are feeling likethat, if you are feeling just
sad or anxious more than normal,get it checked out.
And don't be afraid to ask forhelp.
Because it is meant to be a timewhere you enjoy and it is so
(49:17):
hard to enjoy those moments whenyou're struggling with crippling
anxiety or depression.
Natalie Portman (49:24):
Yeah, Nicki, thank you for sharing that.
And I certainly see that in myown journey as well, where it's
almost like coming out of itcoming out of what I've been
walking through with my, kind ofpostpartum anxiety and
depression.
And now being on the other sideof it, I'd realized how dark it
(49:45):
was and the just where I wasmentally.
And and that you're right, we,we shouldn't just accept that as
normal.
It might be common, but it,that's not functionally normal
that we are constantly anxiousconstantly worried for our life
or for our kids' lives.
Always feeling like it's up tous to make everything happen.
(50:07):
That's not what the Lord has forus.
And I actually wanted toencourage with the verse
Jeremiah 29 11, where he saysfor, I know the plans I have for
you, declares the Lord, plans toprosper you, not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and afuture.
And that really is the Lord'sdoing that is not something that
(50:28):
we need to, like you're saying,set out and have everything
planned out.
The Lord isn't calling us toplan out our whole life.
It says that the Lord has theplans for our lives and they are
good plans and they will prosperus and therefore our good and
the Lord's glory.
And it's something that I haveto cling to all the time because
(50:50):
I forget it all the time.
And as soon as start thingsstart to feel out of control in
my life, I instantly want to gointo control mode.
And so if you know that, that'syour tendency as well I know
Nicki would say the same, justcontinue to pursue the Lord and
let his his plans for your lifeencourage you and make you feel
(51:11):
his will is being done.
And it doesn't have to be all onyour shoulders to make all the
things happen in your life.
Nicki, thank you so much forcoming on today and sharing your
stories and your encouragement.
I know that so many mamas aregonna hear this and just love
what you had to say and can insome way relate to the seasons
(51:34):
that you've walked through.
So thank you so much for comingon and sharing your story.
Nicki Uria (51:38):
Thanks Natalie.
Thanks for having me.
And I just love your heart andeverything that you're doing for
moms during pregnancy, birth,and postpartum.
You're amazing.
Natalie Portman (51:48):
Oh, thanks Nicki.
I love you.
Thank you again and I am excitedfor everyone that's gonna hear
it.
I am so excited to welcome today's guest, Nicki
Uria, to the podcast.
Nicki is a mama of five, threebiological and two adopted from
foster care.
She and her husband Craig, havea passion for travel,
homeschooling their kids, andliving a life rooted in their
faith in Jesus.
Nicki holds such a special placein my heart because she was
(01:06):
actually my very first doulaclient.
I had the honor of supportingher at the birth of her second
biological son, and thatexperience was truly life
changing for me.
It confirmed in such a powerfulway that this was the work God
was calling me to do, andanother cool tidbit.
I actually had the joy ofsupporting her again for the
birth of their youngest, whichwas just another incredible
(01:28):
moment I got with Nicki.
What I love about Nicki is howshe leans fully on the Lord
through every season.
From natural and medicatedbirths to adoption and the
everyday moments of motherhood.
Her heart is to encourage othermoms that you can do what God
has called you to do even whenit feels uncertain.
Nicki, thank you so much forbeing here today.
Nicki Uria (01:50):
Thanks Natalie.
I am excited to be here with youon your podcast.
Natalie Portman (01:54):
Me too.
I have just been dying to haveyou on the podcast, so let's
dive right in.
Let's start from the verybeginning.
What was it like for you tobecome a mama?
Nicki Uria (02:06):
My journey to becoming a mom was not the
conventional route.
Normally people start with theirbiological kids.
But we really felt a strongcalling to go into foster care.
We had seen just through otherfamilies, and I was a teacher
for a long time in a Title oneschool where I was the person
(02:26):
calling DCF on families when Ifelt like kids were not properly
being taken care of.
And so God just put this hugeburden on our heart to become
foster parents and to take inthose kids who needed a safe
place to stay for however long.
So early on actually in ourmarriage, we started fostering.
And we had several fosterplacements two of which as
(02:49):
Natalie mentioned earlier, thatwe were able to adopt.
We got to have one boy who was10.
He was reunited, with a grandma.
And then we have two boys thatwe fostered for a while that got
adopted by some sweet friends ofours.
So it's been a really neatjourney, but we did that for
quite a while.
(03:09):
And then God called us to haveour biological kids.
We have Wyatt, Andrew, andKeaton.
Natalie Portman (03:15):
I just love your heart, Nicki.
You really do just want to loveand serve the least of these,
and that's what I love aboutyour heart is that is what you
show every single day takingcare of your littles and even
other people's littles thatbecome yours.
It's just, it's so sweet.
So let's dive into what it waslike that first time you were
(03:36):
actually pregnant yourself.
Nicki Uria (03:38):
Yeah, so I was so excited.
You know, it's what I had waitedfor and I just was so ready.
When I found out I was pregnantwith my first little son, Wyatt.
And it's fun'cause my sisteractually came over.
My sister and I are bestfriends, very close, and she
came over and told me she waspregnant.
(03:59):
And I kept thinking in my head,oh, I just can't wait till the
day that I'm pregnant.
Like, I can't wait.
Like I would so love of Kristen,my sister and I were pregnant
together.
Well not even a week later Irealized I was pregnant as well.
And so it was such a gift to beable to do that season with her.
it was so fun, I was also anervous wreck.
(04:22):
Like I had in my head this fearof giving birth ever since I was
little.
I just just think about like, ohmy goodness.
Women always say how horrible itis and how painful it is, and
you have to have an epidural orelse you're gonna just die on
the table.
And so in my mind, I was just, Iloved being pregnant, but I was
(04:44):
like, I am terrified of what isto come.
so that was always kind ofhanging over my head, but in my
mind I just was like, you knowwhat?
I'll do an epidural.
I'll be fine everyone does it.
It's just gonna be okay.
I tried to really enjoypregnancy.
It was challenging'cause when Iwas pregnant, I had a,
(05:05):
10-year-old that we werefostering, I had our 2-year-old
and 1-year-old, that we werefostering as well.
And so I was already a mama ofthree, and so I was very busy.
I worked full time and we alsomoved.
And so I felt like it was a verybusy season.
But I was very blessed.
I didn't get sick nearly likemost women do.
(05:25):
I had a really easy pregnancy,thankfully.
Natalie Portman (05:28):
That's awesome.
I can't even imagine my firsttime being pregnant and then
also having to take care ofthree other kids.
So God bless you, Nicki.
You are amazing.
So let's now talk about the waysthat you prepared for your first
birth experience.
Because like you're saying,there was a lot of fear that was
there.
(05:49):
But how did you prepare for thatexperience besides just
resolving that, oh, I'm gonnaget an epidural because that's
what people do to get throughthe intensity of childbirth.
Nicki Uria (05:59):
Yeah, so it was interesting cause my sister and
I, we walked this seasontogether hand in hand.
And the reason I mention her isbecause she was on a whole
different journey.
Even though we were only like aweek apart in our due dates.
She wanted to do natural.
She knew from the get go she wasgonna get a doula and was trying
(06:19):
to convince me to do the same.
And in my head, I just had itblocked off.
I just was like, that is notsomething I could do.
God is not called me to do that.
I'm just gonna get through it.
So I just kind of went throughthe route of going to the
birthing classes in thehospital.
I went and talked to theanesthesiologist, I tried to
(06:39):
make up a birthing plan and doas much research as I could to
do things as natural as I could,but with an epidural.
Meaning I wanted to do delayedcord clamping.
I wanted to be able to do skinto skin.
So I tried to get that kind ofstuff ready.
But honestly, I was really inthe dark except for the things
that my sister would tell mefrom the things that she learned
(07:00):
from her doula.
I just was trying to figurethings out on my own and was
walking pretty blindly.
And honestly walking with a lotof fear of what was to come,
'cause I, I was just, had thisblock in my head that it was
gonna be such a scaryexperience.
Natalie Portman (07:15):
Yeah I tell my clients, you don't know what you
don't even know, and there arethings as you're preparing for
this journey that as a doula wecan help you even know what to
have on your radar, so to speak.
And so I love that your sister,had that doula support and then
as an overflow of what she waslearning.
(07:37):
You were learning some otherthings that you weren't, like
you said, you just were walkingblindly that first go because
you just didn't even know whatto expect or how to prepare
yourself.
I'm sure you and your sister arevery similar, but even just that
mindset of she was resolved topursue unmedicated and I just
knew that's not what I wanted.
(07:57):
And that's fine.
Like I think that there's amisconception that as a doula
I'm only there to support momswho are planning to have a very
low intervention, no medicationtype of birth.
But I do think that the Lord canbe very specific with us.
And we need to just be sensitiveto what we feel like the Lord is
(08:17):
calling us to do.
However.
I also think that we shouldn'tmake decisions outta fear.
So I think we can make decisionslike having an epidural where we
make that decision because we'reafraid of the pain, or we can
choose a medicated birth becausewe fear other people's opinions
of us or what our own opinion ofourself might be, or other
(08:41):
factors.
And so regardless of the womanwho's listening right now
thinking, oh, I probably need topursue an unmedicated birth no,
it, that's not the point.
It's you need to be sensitive towhat the Holy Spirit is leading
you to do and to make sureyou're making decisions not
outta fear, but out of faith inthe Lord and what he's calling
(09:02):
you to do.
Nicki Uria (09:03):
Yeah, I 100% agree and I feel like just having the
doula support through thepregnancy journey gave my sister
so much confidence in what Godhad called her to do, and just
helped her mentally prepare andknow what to do when the time
came.
Whereas I felt like because Iwas on my own, I was just
(09:24):
Googling and trying to figure itout and asking friends and
asking questions, and when youdo that, you're just like
walking blindly.
And so I just feel like havingdoula support, medicated or
unmedicated does make a hugedifference.
Natalie Portman (09:39):
Yeah, I totally agree.
So let's dive now into Wyatt'sactual birth story.
So how far along were you whenyou went into labor and how did
everything get started?
Nicki Uria (09:50):
I was 37 weeks and I had gone to a Christmas party
and came home and was havingcontractions, and I just kept
thinking, huh, I'm having lotsof Braxton Hicks.
I'm so tired from that Christmasparty.
And as the night progressed andwe put the kids to bed, I
started thinking like, huh,these are getting pretty
(10:13):
painful, but surely this is notlabor.
Because in my head I had thisfear that birth was going to
make it so unbearable that Iwould not be able to handle
anything.
So I was like, surely this isn'tlabor.
Like this hurts, but it's like aperiod cramp, you know?
Like I'm fine.
So I kept telling my husband Ithink it's just braxton hicks
(10:34):
like I just keep having them andI let it go on probably for like
30 minutes and eventually I wason the phone with my sister and
she's like, Hey, Nicki, this isnot Braxton Hicks, like, you're
in labor.
Granted, if I had had a doula, Iwould've probably known, but I
was like, oh, okay, this, thisis labor.
(10:55):
Like, you know, it does hurt.
Like I am struggling to breathethrough my contractions, so it
does make sense that it doeshurt.
So we got my mom to watch thekids and I got to the hospital
and I ended up progressing veryfast.
I, when I got there, pretty muchwent to eight centimeters and
they looked at me and they saidHey, if you want an epidural,
(11:16):
you have to do it now.
I was like, okay, I guess, Iguess give it to me.
So at that point, my, my beingin labor was just a couple of
hours, very short.
So I got the epidural and atthat point my labor stopped.
I was able to rest.
And I just kinda like laidthere, but nothing was
(11:36):
happening.
Like I went from super fast tojust nothing.
And I eventually finallyprogressed enough.
But Wyatt's head was really bigin the 99th percentile.
As I was ready to push and theytold me I was ready to push, I
started pushing and pushing andpushing, and I pushed for an
(11:58):
hour and a half and he justcouldn't get out of the canal.
And so the doctor said, Hey, ifhe's, he's gonna not get out of
here.
It's gonna get dangerous.
We're gonna have to do anepisiotomy.
If you do not do the episiotomy,we're gonna probably have to do
an emergency C-section.
I was terrified.
I knew going in, I did not wantto have to do a C-section if I
(12:20):
didn't have to.
So I said, okay, you know, Ilooked around at all the nurses,
'cause that's all the people Ihad to help me.
And I said, what would you do?
Would you guys do in aepisiotomy?
And they all said, yep, I woulddo it.
So I did it and Wyatt came outthe next push.
But I ended up tearing to thefourth degree and that was the
(12:40):
most painful of the wholeexperience.
It took a very long time torecover and was just very
painful right out of the gate,just tearing that badly.
and he was a pretty small baby.
Like I said, I was 37 weeks.
He was only seven pounds, whichis not ginormous.
So the reason I tore so bad wasthe e episiotomy, and if I
(13:02):
would've known differently, Iwould've chosen probably not to
do it.
In that situation,
Natalie Portman (13:07):
Oh, Nicki, that breaks my heart.
It, I knew that about your storyobviously because I was your
doula the second time, but itis.
Very rare to have a fourthdegree tear.
And fourth degree tears are whenyou tear from the vaginal to the
anal opening completely.
And yeah, the recovery for thatis insane.
(13:29):
And episiotomies do increase thedegree of the tear.
If you had naturally torn it,might have been less, but at
that point with you pushing anhour and a half, obviously I
wasn't there to say oh yeah, youshould have done it or you
shouldn't have done it at theend of the day that's what the
Lord had for your story.
But wow, that's so intense.
(13:50):
And thank God Wyatt was heresafely and all the things, but
it's still okay to grieve thefact that happened because that
is really rough when thathappens.
I have actually yet to, towitness a fourth degree tear or
an epi episiotomy and I pray Inever do.
But that's intense.
I'm so sorry.
(14:11):
So Nicki, tell me what was thatpostpartum recovery like for
you, since you had such anintense delivery?
I.
Nicki Uria (14:19):
It was really rough, Natalie.
The, the following day, the dayafter I gave birth, I gave birth
early in the morning.
So that whole next day Icouldn't stand really.
I would, I lost so much bloodthat if I stood up, I would pass
out.
So they kept having to walk meto the bathroom or help me to go
anywhere.
My other kids came to meet himand I couldn't get out of the
(14:41):
bed to, to be with them and tohelp introduce the baby to the
kids.
I was honestly just bedbound inso much pain and so lightheaded
from all the blood loss.
I thought that was normal.
I didn't realize that that isnot normal to feel that
lightheaded and to feel so justweak after giving birth.
(15:03):
And I mean, it's normal to feelweak but not pass out level
weak.
And even when I got home, I wasbleeding a ton.
I bled for weeks on end, waypast my six week checkup, I was
still bleeding.
I was pretty weak even for awhile.
Like, I remember even afterhaving Wyatt for a week, mom
(15:24):
saying like, Hey, let's walkaround the street, like the
neighborhood.
Just say, let's get out a littlebit.
And I remember walking down mystreet and just being like, I
can't walk more than this.
Like I am.
This is way too much.
And I'm a very active person.
I work out, I have lots of kidsthat I'm running around.
I'm not one to just sit ever.
(15:45):
So it's very unlike me.
But just I think having so muchblood loss and going through, so
much pain with that fourthdegree caused me to be really
weak.
So it took me a while till I wasup walking around the
neighborhood and able to reallycare for my other kids like I
wanted to.
So it was, it was a challenge.
(16:06):
it did help me for sure.
After that, I, I looked at myhusband though, and I said, if
we have another baby, if Godblesses us with another, I'm not
doing this again.
I don't want another fourthdegree.
So whatever it takes, I'm goingto do whatever it is so I don't
have to have a fourth degreetear.
And turns out that was usingyou, Natalie, that God ended up
(16:29):
putting you in my life, whichwas such a gift for my next
pregnancy.
Because I just knew, I knew Icouldn't go through that again.
It was, it was really hard andand really taxing on my body.
My mom tore a fourth degree withmy brother and she had a very
similar experience and that, sobecause of that I just kind of
thought it was normal'cause shewent through that.
(16:52):
and so, yeah, I'm sure there area lot of women that just kind of
suffer through it and I'm surethere was things that I could
have done to help it.
Natalie Portman (17:00):
Yeah.
So even though that was yourexperience, and especially not
knowing anything else to compareit to.
It is definitely not normal tobleed to that degree for that
long and definitely worth ifthat's your experience.
Mama who's listening to makesure your providers are checking
(17:21):
your hemoglobin checking to makesure that there's no retained,
tissue or placenta or anythingthat would cause that much
bleeding.
That also not only affects howyou feel, but it can also
drastically mess with your milksupply if you're intending to
breastfeed and has all theseother hormonal just chains that
are set off.
(17:42):
So really important to gaugewhat's normal and what's not.
And if you're feeling horribleafter you deliver and it's just
not going, it's not gettingbetter consistently, that's
absolutely worth notifying yourprovider and sticking to it.
Even if they don't wanna listen,even if they think that it's all
(18:03):
in your head, you continue tospeak up or you let your partner
know, Hey, I need you to fightfor me'cause this is not right.
The way I feel is not right.
I'm not able to do normal thingsanymore, and it's been weeks
after I've delivered I needsomebody to help me.
So let's now get into yourexperience with Andrew, your
second biological son, and thatpregnancy and kind of what you
(18:28):
were doing to prepare for thatbirth experience.
Nicki Uria (18:31):
So, like I said, I knew I did not want to do, go
through what I went throughbefore and God just put it on my
heart that I was gonna do anatural birth.
I felt like.
I didn't go well with theepidural, so maybe natural would
be the way to go.
It just, God made that reallyclear to me in multiple
different ways.
(18:51):
I was praying through a doula.
Honestly.
I wanted someone that I wouldtrust, someone I would feel
comfortable with.
I didn't really know where tofind one except for who my
sister used, but my sister'sperson was moving out of the
state, so that was not gonna bean option.
and I was at dinner with one ofmy good friends who happens to
be Natalie's sister, and wasjust talking through how I knew
(19:15):
God was calling me to get adoula.
it just all with just, God laidit out and had a perfect plan
for it.
'cause Kellie was able to hookme and Natalie up and because
Natalie had just finished herdoula trainings and so that was
just such a gift from God and itjust really, it me see that God
(19:38):
was in control and that God waslike, yep, you are doing this.
Like I am calling you to do thisnatural birth and I'm gonna
provide for you and I'm gonnatake care of you through this
process.
And so having Natalie made sucha difference, like when I was
pregnant with Andrew thatjourney was kind of rough in the
beginning because I ended upmiscarrying after Wyatt, I had a
(19:59):
miscarriage and then I gotpregnant.
Maybe about four months afterthe miscarriage with Andrew.
so there was a little bit offear in that pregnancy,
especially in the early days.
And I think it took me a littlewhile to move forward and, and
to start preparing for birth.
But once I got Natalie and wasable to really focus on that
(20:20):
birth, she just really helped mefeel confident and feel, feel
ready and prepared by giving metechniques, giving me just tips
and tricks, just helping me knowwhat to expect and what to do
when the time came.
Andrew's pregnancy was a littlebit different as well because at
(20:41):
30 weeks I got diagnosed with anirritable uterus and because I
had too much amniotic fluid, sothat basically caused
contractions all the time.
I was having contractions waymore than typical Braxton Hicks.
They would be often on a regularschedule, like every five
minutes for an hour or two hoursor every three minutes, or
(21:04):
sometimes sporadic.
It was almost like I was inpreterm labor for quite some
time.
And so.
It made my doctor want me to goon like a modified bedrest where
she asked me to limit all of theactivity that I was doing, which
at that point I had three kidsat home and I was still working
(21:24):
full-time.
and so that was very difficult.
I did my best and thankfully shedid say modified, so I did the
best that I could with the threekids at home.
But anytime I was more activeand up around cooking, doing
laundry, the contractions wouldstart and it would just be
contraction after contractionafter contraction.
(21:46):
And they were nervous that thecontractions would end up being
successful contractions, notjust like practice contractions,
which is why they wanted me togo on the modified bedrest.
So that was difficult.
But thankfully God was incontrol and Andrew stayed in,
up, up until 38 weeks and Iended up having a healthy
(22:08):
pregnancy.
Natalie Portman (22:09):
Yeah.
It's crazy because you havingsuch an irritable uterus, so to
speak, and having all thosewarmup contractions, it was also
messing with me since you weremy first doula client that I.
I had a hard time knowing atthat point, when to pay
attention to things or when tolet it pass and just understand
(22:30):
that, okay, Nicki's body's justhaving a lot of this warmup.
And, it being my first time everbeing somebody's doula, I was
like also on edge with you.
But I remember the night beforeyou actually went into labor,
when you reached out to me andthey were coming very like
contractions were coming veryregularly and pretty strong and
(22:52):
we were like, okay, this mightbe it.
So I came over to your house andwe were, trying to figure out,
what moves to do.
I was doing acupressure pointson you, like all this stuff.
We end up going to the hospitaland it was not real labor and I
just remember being like, ohman! But it's funny because we
both were fumbling at that pointa little bit of just like
(23:13):
knowing what to do becauseyou're right, it was very
confusing having thesecontractions but not really
knowing when to actually payattention to them or not.
Nicki Uria (23:23):
It was, and I remember when you came over,
they were every three minutesand we, but they weren't super
painful, but we we're curiousbecause my first pregnancy went
so fast up until the epidural,we were like, well, maybe that's
just how my body is and I don'tfeel super bad contractions, and
so maybe I am in labor.
(23:44):
so we were, it was veryconfusing.
But yeah, I remember going and Iwas only like five centimeters
and she was like, do you wannastay at the hospital or do you
wanna go home?
I went home and Natalie gave mevery clear instructions of what
to do.
She said, do the miles circuit,do these stretches, and just
(24:06):
rest, and know that God's timingis perfect and this baby's gonna
come when this baby comes, andyou're gonna know when he's
coming.
So I said, okay, that's what I'mgonna do.
So I, I went home and I did themile circuit and I got a full
night of sleep.
I did wake up some with some ofthe contractions, but for the
most part, a full night ofsleep.
And at seven 30 the nextmorning, I remember waking up.
(24:30):
I had the stomach bug and I toldmy husband, I said, Craig, I am
sick with the stomach bug.
I'm so sick.
And he was like, I don't thinkyou're sick.
I think we should call Natalie.
I think this is labor.
So he's on the phone withNatalie and she was just amazing
walking us through just thatvery beginning, like getting us
(24:51):
ready.
Okay, this is labor.
How is Nicki feeling?
This is what it is.
And it ended up going very fastfrom there.
I, I went into labor aroundseven 30.
Like I said, I took a shower andwe left for the hospital.
And basically at the time thatwe got to the hospital, I,
(25:12):
getting checked into triage andNatalie spoke up for me and made
sure that they moved me alongpretty quick.
And I remember looking at herand just saying, Natalie, I like
I have this pressure.
Like I have never felt,'causeI've never done this before,
naturally.
And she's like, honey, you're intransition.
Like this baby is coming.
And this was right after we gotto the hospital it ended up that
(25:35):
the doctor had to like run downthe hall.
They were running me down thehall and this baby basically
just flew out of me.
It was a very fast labor.
And it just went so smoothly andamazingly'cause my body, I think
just was uber prepared fromdoing all the practice
contractions.
And so Andrew just flew on out.
Natalie Portman (25:55):
I will obviously never forget your
birth because it was my firstbirth experience, but it was
insane to me how quickly thingswere progressing and, we talk
about understanding and trustingyour intuition.
I had a feeling that you were inlabor and I'm so glad that I
told you.
Nicki, I think you're in laborbecause you were having like a
(26:15):
lot of stomach upset kind ofsymptoms and when your body is
stimulating like the uterus iscontracting, it also stimulates
your bowels, which is also whylike your body clears out before
labor begins.
And so I was like, no, I thinkthis is real labor.
And honestly, I feel if I hadnot said that you may have
(26:36):
waited.
A lot longer and possibly had acar baby because yeah, things
moved so quickly.
But I remember that morning Ihad my mom come and I was like,
mom, I think my client's like inlabor.
Can you just come over just incase?
And thank God she did because I,yeah I rushed to the hospital,
which thankfully it's theclosest hospital to me.
(26:57):
Praise the Lord.
And I get there right when youguys get there, I help you,
through the check-in and we getup to the room and yeah, you
were like, I have to like poop.
And I'm like, no, Nicki, that'sa baby that's wanting to come
out.
And yeah, just the chaos oftrying to rush you up to your
room and your provider trying toget there in time and all the
(27:19):
things, man, it was a wild ride.
But yeah, everything was goingso smoothly, which is a dream.
But I also.
When you have a labor that isthis fast and furious, I imagine
from, the labors I've seen likeyours and other women's that are
very quick, it looks to me likea woman who is trying to hold on
(27:40):
to a moving freight train.
It is so intense to just becarried along for the ride of
such a quick and rapid laborexperience.
Is that what it felt like toyou?
Explain what that felt like tobe laboring just so quickly.
Nicki Uria (27:56):
Yes, that's exactly what it felt like.
I, because before I had theepidural, they told me when to
push.
This time I thought in my head Iwas like, I thought I could
control the pushing.
Absolutely not.
Like, I remember my body saying,push, and I would push and then
(28:17):
I would say, I'm gonna lay downfor just like a minute.
And then it wouldn't even be aminute I was up again pushing.
And it was, it was just so fast.
I felt as.
Not out of control a hundredpercent because I felt like you
were helping me stay so focusedthat I felt like, okay, I can do
this.
(28:38):
I got this, this is what God'scalled me to do.
And I was focusing on theworship music that we had
playing.
So I was very honed in.
I was in labor land, just likeyou say all the time.
and so I felt like mentally Iwas there, but my body yes, was
just like boom, boom, boom,contraction, contraction,
contraction.
didn't even realize till afterthat birth that a lot of women
(29:02):
like breaks where they can restin between their pushes.
Like my sister had like a solid30 minutes when she hit
transition to actually pushingout her baby.
I didn't know that was a thing.
So thankfully I wasn't expect, Ididn't know like what to expect
there.
yeah, it was, it was very fastand very, very intense.
(29:24):
And I, I do remember in themiddle of it thinking like, I
don't know if I can do this.
And you just were like, you havegot this.
Like just hang on.
You got it.
Just focus and just having youlike look me in the eyes and
tell me I could do it, was whatI needed to get through.
Natalie Portman (29:42):
And then tell us, did you tear and if you did
tear, to what degree this time,tell us, because obviously that
was a huge part of your firstbirth experience and just all of
the intensity that followedpostpartum recovery wise.
What happened this time?
Nicki Uria (29:59):
This time we were super diligent to do things to
help prevent tearing, so I madesure I was in certain positions.
And then also we did warmcompresses during the pushing,
which was amazing.
I recommend that to all my momfriends who are gonna have
babies, because that made a hugedifference and just brought so
much comfort to bring blood flowthere.
(30:19):
So I did end up tearing, butjust to the second degree,
borderline third.
But that was honestly due to howbadly I tore the first time.
If this was my first birth, Idon't think I would've torn
nearly to the same extent.
But he was a eight pound, eightounce baby, so he was bigger.
But yeah, the tearing was notnearly as bad.
(30:40):
And then when I pushed him outand I had him, I could stand up
almost immediately after Iremember my kids came and I got
up out of bed and I got to meetthem and greet them.
I went and I walked to thebathroom by myself.
I remember just feeling thisfreedom like, wow, I just gave
birth and I'm walking like thishappens to people.
(31:03):
I just remember being blownaway.
'cause of the difference betweenmy first birth to this birth, I
just felt like, wow, I don'teven, I, I felt pain.
I felt like I gave birthobviously, but I felt like I
could still be a human being andfunction and enjoy those moments
freshly postpartum.
Natalie Portman (31:22):
I was so thankful.
I think I was like on pins andneedles waiting to hear what the
OB was gonna say, how badly youtore if you tore it all, and to
just hear that it was just asecond degree.
Which is still intense, butespecially when you're comparing
that to your first experience offourth degree tear that's much
more manageable.
(31:42):
And like you're saying, youcould already tell such a huge
difference that your body wasable to cope with that so much
easier.
And I'm sure the blood loss wasdifferent and all the things,
but praise God for that.
So then tell us about thepostpartum experience for that
in comparison to Wyatt'spostpartum experience.
Nicki Uria (32:04):
It was night and day different.
I got home from the hospital andI remember was Easter Sunday,
gave birth on Good Friday, and Iremember it being Easter Sunday
and I remember saying, Hey, weshould go to church.
And my family was like, I don't,I don't think we should go to
church today.
Like, I think we should stayhome.
(32:25):
I just felt so much better I,obviously did a lot of the pads
with witch hazel to help relievesome of the discomfort.
'cause I still bled and haddiscomfort, but I was able to
cook and walk around, move.
I was going places pretty early.
I just felt so much betterpostpartum with Andrew.
(32:48):
He nursed very well.
He was a great nurser from thebeginning.
It was such a blessing, hispostpartum was really a gift
that I, that I just am sothankful for because I know most
women don't have that.
And I definitely didn't havethat my first go around.
And so it was just really niceto be able to just enjoy the
(33:08):
season of soaking in the newborncuddles and nursing and just
being with all the littles.
I,
Natalie Portman (33:14):
I love that so much.
So then you had kind of asurprise pregnancy with Keaton,
right?
So tell us about that findingout you were pregnant and what
that pregnancy was like.
Nicki Uria (33:26):
Yes, we did.
So we we were not trying to haveanother baby at this point.
We had talked about it, we knewdown the road that we probably
would, but we had four littlesall under the age of six.
And so we were like, you know,maybe in a few years we'll have
another.
but of course, God's timing isdifferent than ours.
(33:47):
And we had taken a big trip outwest for, four to five weeks.
And while we were out there wewere driving around the
mountains and the, canyons aton.
And I just remember being overthere and feeling pretty
nauseous oftentimes, butthinking, oh, we're just driving
through the canyons a lot.
We're traveling, we're hikingfive miles every day.
(34:11):
So surely like, that's, that'sall why I am nauseous.
And we went the whole trip, Idid not have any clue that I was
pregnant.
while we were there, I keptgaining weight in my belly and I
was like, wow, this is sostrange.
Like, I'm hiking so much and Ijust keep gaining weight, like
(34:31):
something is wrong with myhormones.
So I told my husband when I waslike, when we got back from our
trip, I said, I've gotta go getsomething, something checked
out.
Like I just feel likesomething's not right.
Like I'm gaining weight, I'mjust not feeling.
A hundred percent like myself.
he's like, okay, yeah, I'm sureyou're fine.
But okay.
(34:51):
Well, we were headed out one dayand in my head I said, you know,
I wonder if I'm pregnant.
Like, I wonder if that's whatthis is.
So I quickly took a pregnancytest.
We were actually headed toSeaWorld, and in my mind I was
like, oh, this is probably gonnabe negative.
There's no way I'm pregnant.
And it was positive.
(35:13):
we were just shocked.
We were blown away just'cause wehad not planned it.
It was so unexpected.
but we, we were excited, just alittle, a little nervous about
what was to come, but we wereexcited.
I went to the doctor thefollowing week and it turned out
I was 15 weeks.
So I was well into my secondtrimester.
And when they were normallygonna do the vaginal, I.
(35:34):
ultrasound, they ended up justdoing one on the belly and you
could see the full baby inthere.
And it was just such a gift.
It was so exciting to find out Iwas pregnant and then there I
was, just had this big old babyin my belly.
so it, it was exciting.
Natalie Portman (35:50):
I knew you were traveling when you suspected or
if you could tell something wasoff, but I didn't realize you
were just that active and whatis happening in my body?
Oh my goodness.
So funny.
So then it's funny too, becauseYou didn't know how far along
you were when you found out youwere pregnant, but I remember
you pulled me aside at churchand you're like, Natalie, I have
(36:12):
something to tell you.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
What?
You're like, I'm pregnant.
And I'm like I'm like, reallypregnant too.
So our boys were what, like sixweeks apart?
Like their due dates were sixweeks apart or something around
there.
And you're like, oh, Natalie, Ilike need you to help me.
And I'm like, I really want tobe there for you, but I am so
(36:35):
pregnant.
Oh my gosh.
Help me help you.
Nicki Uria (36:38):
Yeah, I remember finding out, and one of the
first things that day I told myhusband, I was like, oh,
Natalie's pregnant.
Oh my gosh.
And I had told you after I hadAndrew, I said, I will.
have you, if I have anotherbaby, like I will not give birth
without you.
And so in my head I was like,I've gotta have Natalie.
(37:01):
And so I was panicked about thatand prayed a lot about it.
And you were so gracious to saythat you could do it and you
could help me for this baby.
Which was such a gift'cause Iwas terrified to do it without
you.
Even though I felt prepared.
You had taught me all thethings.
My husband is an amazingsupporter.
I knew he could handle it I knewI could find another doula to
(37:24):
help.
But something about you, likejust having you with me was just
such a comfort and somethingthat I really wanted.
Natalie Portman (37:31):
Yeah, and it honestly, it broke my heart to
think me not being there tosupport you, especially when
that was what your heartdesired.
I, I don't ever presume to belike, oh, somebody needs me
there, to, to support them by nomeans.
But I knew that was your heart,that you really wanted me to be
there.
And so Brian and I prayed a lotabout it too, and just Lord,
(37:52):
help me know what to do becauseI, I have pretty good boundaries
when it comes to, not takingclients around important dates
or travel and that kind ofstuff.
I've gotten much better aboutthat over the years of being a
doula, just because I want torespect not only my own
boundaries, but just to the bestfor my clients as well.
(38:12):
But with you specifically, I waslike Lord knows she gives birth
very quickly.
And even though, you were just amonth or so behind me and, our
pregnancy I just felt a peaceabout it.
A peace that truly just camefrom the Lord that it was all
gonna work out.
And so I didn't stress about it,and I just knew that whenever
(38:34):
you were gonna go into labor,the Lord was gonna work it out.
And I had even prepared you Hey,there is a scenario where I
can't make it to you, wheresomething crazy happens.
And you guys were totallywilling to accept that as like
the caveat of me taking you onafter just having had a baby
myself.
So it was really sweet too,despite kind of all the crazy
circumstances that the Lord wasyet again, just working
(38:58):
everything out for us in thebackground.
And and we just needed to prayand trust in him in his plan.
Nicki Uria (39:05):
Yeah, I remember even after going into labor with
Keaton God so lines it up soperfectly that you had even
nursed, I think right before youcame to the hospital and I was
done with my labor.
I can get into that in a second,but I was done with my labor by
the time you needed to nurseagain, by the time he woke up.
So God just so ordained that andit, it was such a gift.
(39:29):
'cause I, I know God would'veequipped me.
I strongly believe he will bringus through whatever it is he
calls us to do.
it, it was just like him smilingdown on me and saying, Hey, I, I
got you.
Like, you're okay.
Like, Natalie's there.
She's supporting you.
Like I, I'm in control of thiswhole pregnancy and birthing
(39:50):
experience.
Natalie Portman (39:52):
Absolutely.
So yeah, let's get into Keaton'sbirth.
Go.
Through, how far along you wereand how all that started.
Nicki Uria (39:59):
With Keaton, it was a pretty similar experience to
Andrew, except I thankfully didnot have an irritable uterus.
He had a very healthy pregnancythe whole time.
And right before was due, it wasabout 37 weeks, I wanted to
start getting my labor alongjust because Wyatt was.
(40:20):
7 pounds, five ounces.
And he was three weeks early.
Andrew was two weeks early.
He was eight pounds, eightounces.
So I knew around 37 weeks that Iwanted the baby to start moving
because I didn't want a 10 poundbaby at 40 weeks.
And so Natalie had mentioned tome to go to the chiropractor and
to do acupuncture, I was kindaskeptical at first if it would
(40:44):
work or do anything, but I wentand she did acupuncture on me
and said, honestly, the majorityof women go into labor within 24
hours.
So I told my husband like, Hey,get ready.
Like this is what she said.
And I was 37 weeks at thispoint, my husband was very
skeptical.
(41:04):
He did not believe that I wouldgo into labor anytime soon, but
I did.
Literally within 24 hours, wehad been walking around, I had
done some curb walking with himand that night I started having
those contractions and I told myhusband though, I said, you
know, I think it's gonna goaway.
(41:25):
Like I think it's Braxton Hicks,it's just gonna go away.
he was like, okay.
Like sure, why don't you laydown, try to get some rest like
you did with Andrew and maybe inthe morning we will have another
morning baby.
'cause you know, we don't wannahave a baby at night.
I need my sleep.
And so I was like, okay.
So I laid down and in about 10minutes I was like, okay, this
(41:47):
is not going away.
Like these are very, they'regetting more intense and they're
getting closer together.
so I called Natalie and it felthorrible calling her by the way,
'cause she had the newborn.
But she was so sweet andgracious and was like, yeah,
this is probably labor.
from there it progressed veryfast, just like Andrew, and we
(42:08):
rushed to the hospital and I gotthere.
I got checked into my room, andI think it was a total of one
and a half hours from the timethat labor started to the time
that Keaton came out.
So it was, once again, a veryintense birth.
But thankfully it was verysmooth and he basically flew
(42:28):
out.
But I, for him only tore to thefirst degree, borderline second,
so I barely tore, which was ahuge gift.
And it was just a very smoothdelivery and I'm thankful for
that.
Natalie Portman (42:42):
I was hoping and suspecting that you would
have another quick labor, for mysake.
I know for you that is, it's avery intense experience, but
yeah, like you mentioned, it wasjust insane how the Lord had
timed it.
I think you guys even had a hardtime getting ahold of me, which
like terrified me from thatpoint on because we had like a
(43:02):
sound machine on and like Isaid, we had a newborn, so I
remember you had a hard timegetting a hold of us.
I think you had to call Brian,but it worked.
You got a hold of him.
He got me up and I got there intime, but yeah.
What a fast, beautiful laborexperience.
And then tell us how thatpostpartum experience was.
How was nursing, how wasrecovery?
All the things.
Nicki Uria (43:23):
Postpartum was very similar to Andrew's.
Uh.
It was pretty smooth.
Thankfully, I, I tore less thistime and so the recovery was
much easier.
I felt like I was able to getback to doing things little bit
easier.
I did struggle a little bit thisround with just juggling all the
(43:45):
kids with a newborn.
It felt like it was easier to beon the go and keep my life
moving.
So I just kind of just kepttrucking along and trying to
just keep things moving.
'cause the minute we're home, Ifelt like they would destroy the
house and I would have to becleaning up a million messes
while also trying to nurse andhold the baby but overall it, it
(44:08):
was pretty smooth.
Just, just had to figure out,juggling five kids at home, you
know, all young.
And also I homeschool and sohomeschooling and all that as
well.
But the postpartum, he nursedreally well and I, I healed
pretty quickly, so I'm thankful.
I did do some physical therapyfor my pelvic floor just because
(44:32):
I knew after having threebabies, especially after having
Wyatt and all the trauma thatthat caused, so I did do a lot
of pelvic floor therapy afterKeaton.
I was really intentional withthat, and I think that that was
very helpful.
This time around.
Natalie Portman (44:46):
I love that you did that.
Yeah.
That's one of those things thatnot a lot of women are aware
that their pelvic floor functionor dysfunction is something to
really pay attention to and I'mso glad that you were able to
take that time to, to focus onyourself because not only is
that good for recovering frombirth, but just long-term health
(45:06):
having a pelvic floor that'sfunctional allows you to just
stay more capable, well into oldage.
So that's awesome.
I'm so glad you did that.
Thank you, Nicki, for coming onhere and sharing your birth
experiences.
I would love for you to giveyour overall takeaway for mamas
that are listening whateverstage that they're in.
(45:27):
If they are, this is their firstpregnancy and they also can
relate to just being fearful.
Or this is their third pregnancyand they are trying to think
through what they want for thisexperience and trying to move
away from maybe some trauma orfear from previous experiences.
Or maybe the mama who is, takingcare of multiple littles and
(45:50):
just all the life stress andbalance that's required in that
season.
Any encouragement for any ofthose mamas?
Nicki Uria (45:58):
Yeah, I would say to just try to take one day at a
time.
I feel like it's really easy togo down the what ifs or the
what's to come.
And so with that, it, you can becrippled with fear.
At least I know I can be.
And I felt that with my, mypregnancy with Wyatt.
I even felt that being pregnantwith Andrew and having the
(46:20):
irritable uterus, like what ifhe is six weeks early?
What if he is in the nicu?
And then also just balancing allthe littles.
When I start getting ahead ofmyself, of, oh, well after this
week, like, what am I gonna do?
Like, how do I get through this?
It can just be very overwhelmingand really stressful, and it's
hard to enjoy those, thosemoments that we get as moms.
(46:43):
So I would just say, enjoy theday that you're in right now.
God has you right now whereyou're supposed to be.
He has the future in his handsand you don't have to worry
about it.
He's fully in control and he'sholding you exactly where he
needs you to be.
And so just trust him.
Trust that today, whatever it isthat he's bringing your way,
(47:05):
that you can enjoy it.
And just soak in those, thosemoments, whether it be
pregnancy, enjoy, even if you'renot loving pregnancy, enjoy the
fact that you get this specialbond with your baby that you'll
never get again.
Or those newborn cuddles thatyou're gonna miss one day.
And people say it, but it'strue.
Like you don't get those littlenewborn snuggles, but just for a
(47:28):
couple months.
So enjoy it, soak it up.
Or even the toddlers or theelementary age kids when they're
driving you crazy, just enjoy itbecause it goes so fast.
and just try to be intentionalwith what it is that God's
called you to do for today.
If it's to be a, a mom to yourlittles, if it's to work,
whatever it is, try to just beintentional and, and diligent in
(47:52):
doing whatever it is that he'scalled you to do.
Oh, and another thing I wantedto encourage whoever is
listening with especially forthose postpartum mamas, it's
very common to struggle withpostpartum anxiety or postpartum
depression.
And often we think, oh, it's,it's nothing.
It's just normal.
I did not realize until I hadAndrew and Keaton that I had had
(48:16):
postpartum anxiety with Wyatt.
And I, I was very fearful when.
After I had him, like I was soafraid that he would get sick
with RSV or that he would getSIDS and pass away while he's
sleeping.
I mean, the list was, wasthrough the roof of what I was
(48:36):
afraid of, what could happen tohim.
And it, it was way more than mynormal anxiety.
I have anxiety, but not anythingthat I would say is more than a
typical woman.
I just thought that was normalmom behavior or normal mom
thinking.
But after having Andrew andKeaton, I realized what
(48:56):
postpartum anxiety looked likeand how that's not what we want
and that's not normal.
And so if you are feeling likethat, if you are feeling just
sad or anxious more than normal,get it checked out.
And don't be afraid to ask forhelp.
Because it is meant to be a timewhere you enjoy and it is so
(49:17):
hard to enjoy those moments whenyou're struggling with crippling
anxiety or depression.
Natalie Portman (49:24):
Yeah, Nicki, thank you for sharing that.
And I certainly see that in myown journey as well, where it's
almost like coming out of itcoming out of what I've been
walking through with my, kind ofpostpartum anxiety and
depression.
And now being on the other sideof it, I'd realized how dark it
(49:45):
was and the just where I wasmentally.
And and that you're right, we,we shouldn't just accept that as
normal.
It might be common, but it,that's not functionally normal
that we are constantly anxiousconstantly worried for our life
or for our kids' lives.
Always feeling like it's up tous to make everything happen.
(50:07):
That's not what the Lord has forus.
And I actually wanted toencourage with the verse
Jeremiah 29 11, where he saysfor, I know the plans I have for
you, declares the Lord, plans toprosper you, not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and afuture.
And that really is the Lord'sdoing that is not something that
(50:28):
we need to, like you're saying,set out and have everything
planned out.
The Lord isn't calling us toplan out our whole life.
It says that the Lord has theplans for our lives and they are
good plans and they will prosperus and therefore our good and
the Lord's glory.
And it's something that I haveto cling to all the time because
(50:50):
I forget it all the time.
And as soon as start thingsstart to feel out of control in
my life, I instantly want to gointo control mode.
And so if you know that, that'syour tendency as well I know
Nicki would say the same, justcontinue to pursue the Lord and
let his his plans for your lifeencourage you and make you feel
(51:11):
his will is being done.
And it doesn't have to be all onyour shoulders to make all the
things happen in your life.
Nicki, thank you so much forcoming on today and sharing your
stories and your encouragement.
I know that so many mamas aregonna hear this and just love
what you had to say and can insome way relate to the seasons
(51:34):
that you've walked through.
So thank you so much for comingon and sharing your story.
Nicki Uria (51:38):
Thanks Natalie.
Thanks for having me.
And I just love your heart andeverything that you're doing for
moms during pregnancy, birth,and postpartum.
You're amazing.
Natalie Portman (51:48):
Oh, thanks Nicki.
I love you.
Thank you again and I am excitedfor everyone that's gonna hear
it.
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