June 17, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode of Faith Over Fear: The Christian Pregnancy & Birth Podcast, I'm sitting down with Emily Whalen (@nurtured_little_nest)—a sweet mama, content creator, and someone I had the honor of serving as her doula. Emily's story is one of transformation: from mental health struggles and medication concerns to discovering the power of mindset in birth, and ultimately experiencing an unmedicated delivery that deepened her understanding of God's love.
This isn't just a birth story—it's a testimony of how God uses motherhood to sanctify us, stretch our faith, and reveal His heart in ways we never expected. Emily shares openly about navigating bipolar disorder and OCD during early marriage, the surprise of getting pregnant while on medication, and how reading one powerful book completely shifted her perspective on birth.
Whether you're considering an unmedicated birth, struggling with pregnancy fears, or simply needing encouragement that God can use even the most challenging circumstances for good—this episode is full of hope for your heart and practical wisdom for your journey.
In this episode, Emily shares:
📖 How one book (Ina May's Guide to Childbirth) transformed her entire birth plan
🧠 The power of mindset and why "what you say out loud matters" became her motto
🎶 How worship music carried her through labor's most intense moments
👶 The dramatic moment her sunny-side-up baby needed help "with directions"
✝️ How becoming a mother gave her a deeper understanding of God's sacrificial love
🏠 Why she's planning a birth center or home birth for baby #2
Emily beautifully connects the immediate, overwhelming love she felt for her newborn to understanding God's heart toward us—giving us a glimpse of divine love through motherhood.
A Prayer for You: If you're walking through mental health challenges during pregnancy, questioning your birth choices, or feeling overwhelmed by the unknowns ahead—may you be reminded that God's design for birth and motherhood is good, and He will equip you for every step of this sacred journey.
Mentioned in this episode:
✨ Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
✨ Real Food for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols
💛 Follow Emily: @nurtured_little_nest on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube
💛 Work with Me 1:1 – Doula Support & Coaching: Explore birth support and childbirth education for your pregnancy and birth journey
If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who needs to hear Emily's powerful story.
Let's keep choosing faith over fear, one birth story at a time. Go here for the full blog post, show notes, and all resources mentioned
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natalie Portman (00:44):
Welcome back to Faith Over Fear, the Christian
Pregnancy and Birth podcast.
I am so excited to welcome EmilyWhalen, a sweet mama, content
creator, and someone I had thehonor of serving as her doula.
might know her from Instagram asNurtured Little Nest, where she
shares about slow livingmotherhood and how Jesus truly
(01:06):
transforms our minds and hearts.
Her story is powerful and fullof grace from navigating mental
health diagnoses to walkingthrough pregnancy, birth, and
postpartum with faith andintention.
thank you so much for being hereand being willing to share your
heart with us today.
Emily Whalen (01:23):
Hi.
Thank you for having me.
Natalie Portman (01:25):
Well, let's start from the beginning.
What was your journey like tobecoming pregnant?
Emily Whalen (01:30):
Well, this is probably a longer than expected
story, but it's, I guess I'llstart with.
Dating and getting married to myhusband'cause that's how it
goes.
So we got engaged when I was 19and we got married when I was 20
in the year 2019, right beforeCovid.
So it worked out.
But shortly after we gotmarried, my husband went off to
(01:56):
basic training for the Army andwas gone.
Pretty much for the entirety oflike the major shutdowns and
everything.
So we had pretty much nocontact.
'cause if you know anythingabout basic training or the
Army, you send letters to eachother pretty much, and that's
it.
So it was very interesting.
And during that time I startedhaving a lot of mental health
(02:17):
symptoms.
To make a very long story short,I ended up getting diagnosed
with OCD and bipolar disorder,which.
Looking at my family, it's notsurprising, it's one of those
things that like you don't thinkabout until it's happening to
you.
So I was just going off therails.
(02:37):
I was drinking a lot.
I didn't have anyaccountability.
My husband wasn't home.
And it was just a really hardtime.
And when he came home, he hadhad a hard time.
I had had a hard time and wetogether were having a hard
time.
So we moved in with my in-laws.
For a while.
I think we lived with them for ayear and a half.
(02:59):
And we finally, we've both beento therapy.
I was taking some medicationthat was really working and we
decided to move out.
We got an apartment and shortlyafter that I got pregnant.
And it's really funny'cause Idid not think I could, I was on
medicine that like I shouldn'thave been able to.
(03:21):
I had taken birth control foryears and years and years and I
was like, oh, surely like I'mgonna have a problem getting
pregnant.
Right?
And it was funny'cause I wasbeing really emotional about
something and my husband waslike, what if you're pregnant?
I was like, no, I'm not.
No, I'm not pregnant.
And then I went to the store anda Taylor Swift song made me cry
randomly in Target and I waslike.
(03:42):
Ooh, maybe I should buy a test.
So I did.
And sure enough, there was noquestion I was pregnant and I
called my husband who was atwork.
He is a law enforcement officer.
He was standing in the jail.
He had just arrested somebodyand he picked up the phone and I
was sobbing, like I couldn't getany words out.
(04:03):
And he goes, okay, either thedog died or you're pregnant.
I was like, the dog didn't die,and he was like, oh my gosh.
There's the whole thing.
It was awesome.
Natalie Portman (04:15):
love that story.
You so much.
is hilarious, Emily.
Emily Whalen (04:19):
Yeah, it's it's pretty good.
All of his cop friends were withhim.
They were all cheering.
It was great.
Natalie Portman (04:25):
so sweet.
That is incredible.
know.
Isn't it so surprising when youdo get pregnant, when you expect
that it's gonna take a while?
Which I think that is a healthymindset to have because most
women don't get pregnant.
Right out the gate.
And so.
That was the Lord's, story foryou guys.
(04:46):
I love that.
So then how was your pregnancyoverall?
How did you prepare for thatemotionally, spiritually, and
practically?
I.
Emily Whalen (04:54):
So I.
Have you heard of like the typeA, type B, type C people?
I'm very type C where I'm verylike, particular about a lot of
things and there's certainthings I just don't care about
as much.
So when I found out I waspregnant, I was like, oh, I have
to do everything perfect, right?
(05:14):
Like it's gonna have to beperfect.
So I found like the bestO-B-G-Y-N-I could find, and I
was reading all these books anddoing all these things and
really I think.
I was asking the wrong questionsbecause I was more worried about
my baby.
Right.
Obviously you're so worriedabout what's going on.
I had been taking medication Ihad to get off of which, so
(05:38):
uncomfy, I did not love that.
So I was extremely nauseous fromthat, but also from pregnancy
and my husband and I joke that Ijust like threw up for.
I feel like nine months I justkept throwing up and I know, I
know.
So many people are probablylike, yep.
Because it's so common.
But yeah, I just really wasfocused on what I could do for
(05:59):
my baby and not what I could dofor me.
And it's not that I regret that,but I feel like I could have had
an easier time if I had lookedinto things like, okay, how can
I take care of myself right now?
So looking back, if I could goback, I'd be like, please.
Eat something besidesChick-fil-A because I just know
that was probably part of whatwas making me sick is I was not
(06:21):
eating like good food.
I wasn't eating enough proteinprobably.
It was, it was interesting.
I liked, like, I loved beingpregnant.
I loved feeling my baby.
I loved like that aspect of it.
I did not love being really illall the time.
Also, I did not love the end,which everyone says that, right?
(06:46):
But I got really, really swollenand it was very difficult for me
to just like live every day.
I was working at.
Eleven22 at the time, and I waswalking around on Sundays and
like the sweet old ladies andstuff were like, are you okay?
I was like, no, I'm not.
(07:07):
I'm really pregnant.
But yeah, it, I would go backand be like, please, like eat a
steak or something, you know.
Natalie Portman (07:16):
I know it is incredible.
How, especially like that firsttrimester, like you have to give
yourself a lot of grace whenyou're that sick to just eat
whatever you can physicallytolerate.
then when you do start feeling alittle more normal to just
prioritize that.
(07:36):
The things that you know, youneed to eat.
I always recommend thisincredible book called Real Food
for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols.
It is so good.
I'll, I'll put that book in theshow notes, but that one's an
incredible read because it doestalk about like the changes in
your body's needs when you'repregnant.
And what's interesting too isWe're we're told things like
(07:58):
never eat sushi and like certainweird pregnancy things that
actually aren't true.
If you're getting sushi from areputable place, that's actually
really good for your bodybecause raw fish, it has more
selenium in it.
And I craved poke bowls and rawsushi, like no one's business
when I was pregnant.
so I think trying to listen toyour body a little bit more and
(08:20):
instead of just giving it,random things.
Being more intentional, but alsonot being so hard on yourself.
So don't beat so hard onyourself, Emily, because you
know you were doing the best youcould.
Especially that first time whenjust a whirlwind.
It can really be such awhirlwind that first time,
especially.
Emily Whalen (08:39):
It definitely was, and I, it's funny'cause I eat so
different now that I'm notpregnant.
I haven't been to a fast foodrestaurant in probably since I
was pregnant.
My son's almost two.
So it's just one of those thingswhere you're like, oh.
Natalie Portman (08:53):
Yes, I know I changed my diet big time.
When I was pregnant with Daniel,I had really bad eczema on my
hands.
It was kind of other places, butreally bad on my hands point
where I would be up at night.
Scratching the skin on my handsand it would always be worse at
night when you're like warmer.
(09:13):
And so, I don't know, it wasweird, but I was looking more
into, how maybe diet could beaffecting that.
'cause you obviously can't takelike steroids and stuff like
that, like creams and
Emily Whalen (09:23):
Right.
Natalie Portman (09:23):
I would have normally probably turned to.
I eliminated gluten, dairy, andeggs.
Just like cold Turkey justeliminated it it straight up
healed.
Completely my eczema I had somany other benefits, like my
joints were feeling better, Iswelled way less that pregnancy.
(09:45):
and so like just comparing thetwo pregnancies where the first
one, I wasn't eating horribly,but I also wasn't eating great
to like eating much cleaner thatsecond pregnancy.
It did make a huge difference.
But give yourself grace on that.
And, and I think it, it's, it'sone of those things where.
Because it is such a big lifeshift to change your diet.
(10:07):
You kind of have to slowly makeshifts.
Very few people can just do whatI did where I was like, oh, cold
Turkey, like one day.
I'm just not eating those thingsanymore.
But most of us need to have likethat slow change so that it's
more sustainable and we can, youknow, make just lasting changes
for our health.
Emily Whalen (10:27):
Definitely now that I've, I'm on this side of
it, that's what I had to do.
It started when I was giving myson solids for the first time,
mostly'cause I'm giving him likeavocados and chicken and beef
and all these things.
And I'm sitting here eating aReese's Peanut butter cup and he
reached out for it.
And I was like, oh, I'm notfeeding you that.
Like you're not eating that.
(10:48):
And in my mind, I just had likethe Holy Spirit say, if you
wouldn't feed your kid that,then why are you eating it?
And I was like, oh, I better,better stop
Natalie Portman (10:58):
Yes, yes.
It's so
Emily Whalen (11:00):
and sent me just like down the rabbit hole.
Mm-hmm.
Natalie Portman (11:03):
you do, you look at what you're feeding your
child and you're like, if I putin this much intention in what
I'm feeding them, I also need tobe intentional about what I'm
feeding myself, because our bodyis a temple and I think it
definitely can become idolatryif we take it way too far and we
have all these restrictions andit becomes this like self
(11:24):
worship.
But I think, you know, is a veryhealthy God-honoring way to
approach every aspect of yourlife, and especially something
like the way that you'reliterally nourishing your body
every single day, or notnourishing your body every
single day.
Emily Whalen (11:42):
Yeah, it's definitely interesting.
My husband's doing it now.
His eczema's gone also, so it's,it's really great.
I'm looking forward to the nextpregnancy to be.
I.
Like eating better and justwonder, compare the difference,
like you said,
Natalie Portman (11:55):
gonna be like a huge difference, I can tell you
that.
So how else did you kind ofprepare for that pregnancy
emotionally and kind of morepractically?
Emily Whalen (12:08):
emotionally, I just talked to women who had
been pregnant.
I talked to family members,which I.
Everyone's family's different.
Mine weren't so positive, butmembers of the church and people
just around me, moms already whohad young kids, moms whose kids
were grown and just kinda like,what would you do different or
(12:29):
what did you do that you liked?
And again, I read a ton ofbooks.
A lot of books.
Not all of them were helpful,but one of them that I read
Natalie Portman (12:40):
was it Ina May's Guide,
Emily Whalen (12:41):
Yes.
That's what it is.
Yes, it is.
Natalie Portman (12:43):
That one was a complete game changer for me.
I will also put that in the shownotes.
That one is what convinced me.
I.
To even attempt an unmedicatedbirth?
Emily Whalen (12:54):
Me too.
Natalie Portman (12:54):
yes, because it, it totally reframed for me
the intensity of labor andbirth.
And I had never heard thatbefore.
Really.
I kind of resolved at thebeginning of my pregnancy with
my, with my first, with Ellie,like, oh, I'm definitely gonna
get an epidural.
Like, yeah, there's no, there'sno medal For going unmedicated.
And I'm not saying you get amedal for going unmedicated, but
(13:17):
I just didn't see any sort ofvalue with even attempting that.
And so that's so crazy that,that was the book that changed
your mind too'cause Yeah, it's,it's really powerful.
The things that we tellourselves, you know, that,
mindset, and I think that bookis really great at helping
prepare your mindset.
Emily Whalen (13:36):
Mm-hmm.
Your mindset dictateseverything.
I, I always say my sister and myhusband, they get so annoyed
with me, but it's true.
I say, don't say anything outloud that you don't wanna be
true.
I.
Because anything you say, yourbrain hears it.
Anything you tell yourself, yourbrain hears it.
And whether you consciously,believe it or not,
subconsciously it's in there.
(13:58):
So if you believe, oh, I'm gonnaget an epidural, I'm gonna be in
pain, I'm gonna have all thesenegative things, that's probably
what's gonna happen.
And.
My husband, I love him so muchand I love how right he is about
most things.
He really is.
He's right about most things.
I just usually don't like theway he says it, but he really is
so smart and so right, but hewas like, Emily, I think you're
(14:19):
gonna need an epidural.
Like, why would you do that?
I've seen people give birth.
He's He used to be an ER tech atShands.
He's like, I've seen people givebirth.
Why would you try it without it?
And I was like, this sounds likea challenge now, so now I have
to do it.
Really the, the benefits onceyou understand them are kind of
amazing because if you look intothe epidural and what it does
(14:40):
and the things you need afterthat, like Pitocin, I didn't
have any of those things.
And immediately after my babywas born, like I had all feeling
everywhere.
Yes, I felt all of the negative,but I also felt all of the
positive.
Nothing in my experience wasblocked because of a
pharmaceutical I also havefriends who have really bad back
(15:01):
pain still from their epiduralthat has never gone away.
And honestly, I was more afraidof that and the needle that they
put in you than any pain I wasgonna face because I've always
had a thing about needles andthat was like the nail in the
coffin for me.
So you cannot come in near mewith that thing.
Natalie Portman (15:21):
Yeah.
And, and I think sometimes wecan oversimplify certain
interventions feel like theepidural can certainly have its
time and its place.
I have seen of times where Ifeel like mom was having a
really intense, long, drawn outlabor and that epidural.
(15:43):
Was able to kind of preserve herstrength to get her to the
finish line and have a vaginaldelivery that she really wanted.
But I also can see how if weresolve without really
investigating the benefits andthe risks of certain
interventions, and epidural iscertainly an intervention, then
(16:05):
we can just fall into a cycle.
Or, or like a cascade ofinterventions is what we call it
in the birth world where oneintervention leads to another,
leads to another, leads toanother.
many of the times an epiduralcan be like that first domino
that falls.
And again, this is not to saythat every single time that
happens, it's weighing the risksand the benefits and, and just
(16:29):
having that knowledge base tohave another option.
The other thing that's reallyinteresting is.
Depending on how quickly you gointo labor and have your baby,
sometimes you don't have timefor an epidural and it's very
wise to know how you might cope,might cope you don't even get
the opportunity to get anepidural.
(16:50):
Because I think that's theother, thing you can fall into
is thinking, oh, well I'mgetting an epidural so I don't
need to learn how to cope with,early labor or anything like
that.
Well, there's gonna be some timewhere you will be experiencing
unmedicated contractions.
You know, unless you have a planC-section, there's a good chance
that you will experience,, laborcontractions, even if the plan
(17:13):
is to get an epidural.
So, Yeah, I agree with that.
So, let's dive into your birthstory.
How far along were you when youstarted?
And then just go through as muchdetail as you want of, that
story.
Emily Whalen (17:27):
Yeah, so I was having like random contractions
for a week and I was sitting atfour centimeters dilated the
whole time.
It was so unpleasant.
I kept joking.
I was like, he's gonna fall out.
Like he's just so low.
And there was just pressure.
But I just had to live my lifethat way for a week.
And I was like, what are wedoing?
(17:47):
So the night that I went intolabor, Josh was sitting there on
the phone with his sergeant.
He was like, Emily, am I takingoff work tonight?
Or what?
Like, what's going on?
I was like, I.
I couldn't tell you.
So I just started walking my dogaround the block and my dog is a
(18:08):
golden retriever and he is verylazy, low energy golden
retriever.
So once we did like one lap, hewas like, what are we doing?
It's like, come on Boone, I'mtrying to walk this baby out.
Okay.
I'm like dragging him down thesidewalk.
So finally we get back.
I'm like this.
This isn't gonna happen.
I'm texting you and you're like,just go relax.
(18:28):
Just go sit down and see whathappens.
Like just give it time.
So I'm sitting there and I'mlike trying to read a book and I
can't focus on anything and I'mhaving contractions and Josh is
asking me again like, am I goingto work?
Like his sergeant gave him delayand time to, it was just, it was
so stressful for me'cause I feltso bad for everyone.
(18:49):
I was like, I don't know.
But finally I was like, oh wait,I think I'm having contractions.
Like for real.
And to me, I've always hadreally bad periods, so I was
like, is this just like a cramp?
What is this?
I don't know, because my crampshave always been bad.
So I'm just laying there and youare telling me to eat things.
You're like, go eat somethingjust in case.
(19:09):
Eat some food.
'cause once you get to thehospital, it is, they're not
gonna let you eat.
So Josh ordered a pizza for meand I ate.
Quite a bit of it.
And my contraction startedpicking up and I'm like trying
to ignore it because I'm like,no, surely it's not happening
today.
I don't wanna get my hopes up.
Right.
And finally, I texted you and.
(19:29):
I was like, yeah, they'rehowever many minutes apart.
And you're like, okay, well I'llcome over and like the goal will
be to stay at home for as longas possible.
And I remember throwing up rightwhen you got to my house, all
the pizza I had just eaten justcame back up.
And I was so frustrated.
But you're like, no, that'sgood.
It means like things are moving.
And I was like, okay, whateveryou say.
(19:50):
But yeah, we went to thehospital after that.
And I remember the car ride.
Josh was just like, are youokay?
Are you okay?
The whole time I was like, canyou just drive?
Can you just go?
I'm fine.
And it was about midnight, so weget there and I did not like the
check-in because I had to be bymyself.
It was the worst part.
(20:11):
So I was just trying to be calm.
My whole goal was to just becalm the whole time.
I just wanted to be like.
Present and peaceful and not getstressed because I knew once I
got like amped up, it would bereally hard for me to bring it
down.
So they're like asking me allthese questions and I'm like
okay, sure.
Like here's what I can rememberright now.
(20:31):
I'm having a contraction, so Ihope I'm telling you the right
thing.
And I remember sitting in the,the room and I was really chill
'cause I was like, purposefullybeing chill.
And she's like, I don't, I don'tknow, I don't think you're going
into labor right now.
Like, you're too calm.
And I was like, okay.
And then she's like, we'll checkyou and see what happens.
And I was like, okay, hope Idon't have to go back home.
How embarrassing would that be?
(20:53):
But she checked me and I was atsix centimeters and she was
like, wow, you were so calm.
You did not seem like you wereat six centimeters.
I was like, I'm trying reallyhard.
So they got me all checked in,changed.
I like barely remember it atthat point because I was so
focused on just trying to getinto the.
Room and just like focus.
(21:16):
So finally we get there and wehad some sweet nurses.
I remember this one that wasblonde and she was really just
like listening to the things Iwanted and being calm.
And I also remember beingannoyed about having to be in a
hospital.
For my next child, we'llprobably give birth in a birth
center or at home or something.
(21:37):
But for the first one, sinceJosh had worked in a hospital
and had seen things, he waslike, I just really want you to
be there in case something goeswrong.
Fair enough.
So I remember being annoyedabout that'cause they're
strapping things to me and likesticking an IV in me and all
this stuff.
And I'm like, I don't, this isnot helping.
But once that was going and Iwas really getting into labor.
(21:59):
I remember being so nauseous andyou were waving essential oils
in my face for me, which was sogood.
And I tell everyone about that.
I'm like, get somebody to dothat, because it was very
helpful.
And I remember Josh putting, ormaybe you put on my worship
playlist, somebody did.
And, and like the height of mycontractions, that song by Chris
(22:23):
Tomlin, Holy Forever.
Came on.
I cannot listen to that song inchurch because I just like weep.
Just remembering the birth,because I was getting to a point
where I was getting tired andthat song came on and I just was
like, all right, that's,everything's gonna be okay.
Like God is with me.
(22:44):
And.
I was breathing and you kepttelling me to UNC unclench my
jaw.
Which is so funny because I havereally bad TMJ and clench my jaw
all the time.
But I was like, okay, yep.
I'm gonna unc my jaw here tojust be relaxed.
And I remember havingcontractions and I think I said
one time, oh, that was a goodone.
And one of the nurses looked atme.
She was like, girl, because Ihad no pain medicine.
(23:07):
I had nothing at that point.
And then I remember I.
We got to the pushing and I justfelt like, okay, like now it's
time, but I also don't know if Ifeel ready.
Like I just, I was kind of justlike in this limbo, but the
nurses and everybody was sayingit was time.
So I was like, okay, it's time.
What do I know?
Right?
(23:27):
But looking back, I should havebeen more in tune with what my
body was telling me because myson was.
sunny side up, he was not theright way, even though at his
last ultrasound he was in theperfect position.
For some reason, he flipped onthe way down.
And I remember you telling methat I would feel a lot of back
(23:49):
pain if that had happened.
So I was not feeling a lot ofback pain, surprisingly, and so
I did not think that that waswhat was going on.
But I do remember.
Feeling like he wasn't moving,like he wasn't going anywhere.
And I was pushing and pushingand I was like, he is not going
anywhere.
And they had tried to check meseveral times and I had declined
(24:12):
it.
And I think I told you he's notmoving.
And you were like, all right,let's get you checked.
'cause that's, that's a bigdeal.
So they checked him and he wassunny side up.
And I remember the doctorlooking at me and saying, so you
can push for a few more minutesand then we can do a c-section.
And I remember you, you werelike, no, and praise God,
(24:33):
because I, I was just like,what?
No, I don't wanna do ac-section.
Like he just, what whatchatalking about?
And I remember you asking her,can you flip him?
And she was like, well, I cantry, but you're gonna feel the
whole thing.
And I was like, I don't care.
Like, just do it.
So she did, she just stuck herhand in there and gave him a
(24:54):
little spin.
And 20 minutes later I pushedout my beautiful little boy who
just needed some help withdirections on the way out.
Natalie Portman (25:03):
I know those little stinkers, I mean they do,
they flip in labor, which.
Is is great if your baby issunny side up to begin or like
op, then they can rotate into amore favorable position.
But it's not impossible to pushout a baby if they're sunny side
up.
I actually have had clients thatliterally deliver the baby the
(25:24):
opposite way.
They're supposed to be.
It's more challenging becausethey're basically trying to
navigate the pelvis backwardsand so it just, it's more work
for mama and baby, but.
Yeah, it, it's one of thosethings where at that point I had
seen other providers flip a babybefore, like in that exact
(25:46):
situation.
Like, we're pushing, they reachtheir hand inside and they flip
the baby.
And so I was like, Hey, what canyou do that, can you try?
Because it's, I mean, what elsedo we have to lose besides more
time of you pushing andpotentially a cesarean delivery,
which we all didn't want foryou, so.
God that provider was willing todo that.
(26:08):
Was successful in doing thatbecause yeah, it was like as
soon as that happened, he was,he was right there,
Emily Whalen (26:14):
it really is because I remember being like, I
can't do this anymore.
Like I cannot keep going.
I.
I did end up on my back somehow,which I had intended not to, but
I think it was really justbecause I was so tired that I
couldn't like keep standinganymore, like upwards.
And I was watching videos thatyou took in preparation to talk
(26:38):
about it.
And I, in the video I go, oh,I'm ready for a nap.
Natalie Portman (26:43):
And I actually do have clients that nap in
between pushing, they'llliterally just doze off
Emily Whalen (26:49):
Amazing.
Natalie Portman (26:50):
pushes and then wake up and start pushing and
then go right back to sleep.
That that's a thing too.
Emily Whalen (26:54):
I wish could have done that.
That sounds delightful.
Natalie Portman (26:58):
But what was it like when he was actually born?
Do you remember that feeling ofhim actually being born?
Emily Whalen (27:05):
I do.
And I remember, I remember Isaid some swear words.
I.
Natalie Portman (27:12):
I was like, girl, it is okay.
all good.
It is intense tense.
Emily Whalen (27:17):
It was so intense and like the feeling of him
actually being placed on mychest is like, it's almost, it's
indescribable how much of aimmediate connection that I just
instantly had with him.
And like I have worked inchildcare and in preschools, and
(27:39):
I was a nanny for a long time.
So like I know a lot about kids.
And they always say when it'syour own, it's different.
It really is because the minutehe came out, I was like, I would
do anything for you, literallyanything.
And what did he do?
He just breathed like once, andI was like that, yep.
(28:00):
I'm gonna just change everythingabout my life for you.
And I feel like God really doesthat on purpose because.
I did not have a clearunderstanding of his love for me
until I had my own child.
It used to baffle me like Godsent his son.
(28:20):
Jesus was looking at me on thecross and was delighted in that,
that he was saving me.
How?
Right?
Like how is that possible?
And now that I have a child andGod's supernatural love.
Is coming through me to mychild.
(28:41):
I, I can understand more of whatthat's like because I don't, I
cannot consider a situationwhere I wouldn't do anything for
him.
You know?
So I think it's just likesomething women uniquely get
access to because my husbandabsolutely has that connection,
but he did not push him out,right?
(29:02):
He doesn't have the sameexperience.
Nursing a baby for however longand you know, like labor and
just all of the things that arereally God's design because that
is such a intense time and it'sso much effort and being able to
(29:25):
experience it and feel all thethings through it and really
focus on like what God teachesyou in that is really.
Really unique, and I thinkthat's a lot of how God
sanctifies us is through birthand becoming a mother, because I
did not know how selfish I wasuntil I became a mom.
(29:46):
And just like everything inlife, your mindset about it is a
hundred percent what yourreality is going to be.
So when I was freshlypostpartum.
I was like, nothing about me isgonna change.
I am not gonna let motherhood bemy identity.
Like all these things that theworld tells you.
Right?
So I was just like, I'm going tobe myself.
(30:10):
I'm going to keep my job, I'mgoing to do all the things I
like to do and I'll have a baby,right?
Delusion.
About three months to my job andhaving a newborn and.
But three months into it, I waslike, I'm not, I can't do this.
This is not for me.
I'm not, I don't need a job.
This is my job now.
(30:31):
And I remember talking to myhusband about it and he was
like, well, yeah, just stayhome.
I was like, wait, what?
Like, I was expecting pushback,you know?
He was like, no, that I.
He is your life now.
That's totally fine.
If that's what you want to do,then you should do it.
So we kinda took a, not a hugefinancial hit.
It's not like I was making alot, but we took that and just,
(30:52):
I started staying home and I washome all day with him.
And it's one of those thingswhere your identity, like you
can go a little nuts if youdon't find something to do, you
know?
So I had to really learn a, howto give myself like when I don't
want to and not on my schedule,how to pour out into this child
(31:15):
who needs me.
And he was not a good sleeper,so we were very tired a lot.
He would just wake up all thetime looking for me, which is
not a bad thing.
We just wouldn't sleep longerthan like three hours.
So it was not ideal.
And I started making shiftsbecause I was getting burnt out
and I was feeling like, why do Inot like this?
(31:37):
Right?
Like, why am I feeling stuck?
Why don't I enjoy this?
This is my child.
I get one time being his mom andI'm not.
I would have FOMO almost aboutmy own life because I was
missing out because I wasmiserable.
And I was miserable because Iwasn't, I was resisting the
change.
I was resisting letting Godsanctify me through motherhood.
(32:02):
And once I realized that, thatmy life is going to look
different.
Directly.
How you feel about it is basedon your mindset and how much joy
you experience is based on whatyou're willing to take in,
right?
Like there's joyful thingsaround you every day,
(32:23):
everywhere.
Do you take them in?
Right.
So I am watching my son take hisfirst steps and I am watching
him eat food and learn words andI taught him baby sign language
and I type A situation was veryinto it.
So he knows a lot.
(32:43):
And so I'm talking to him insign language and I'm watching
him in his little brain justgoing like, those are all really
joyful moments.
And for me, half the time I.
They were being shadowed by, oh,there's dishes in my sink, or,
oh, the dog tracked dirt allover my house and I'm stepping
on it.
Right?
Like just the very specificthings that bother you.
And so having to learn thatletting go is okay and that
(33:07):
perfection is not the goal, eventhough that's always what I've
strived for my whole life wasperfection is literally never
going happen.
Jesus is the only one that coulddo.
Choosing to be present in theone thing I'm doing and not
(33:28):
thinking about all the others,which is so hard.
It's way easier to say that thanit is to do it, but it's really
been helpful.
I feel like in the last year,it's helpful that I don't have
postpartum hormones ranginganymore, but also it's helpful
that I've made the intentionalshift to tell myself positive
(33:48):
things.
I tell myself positive thingsabout everything, even when it's
annoying.
Like today, for example, myneighbor's backyard has a
situation happening over therethat we are unaware of, but
there is a hoard of flies thatcome over to our house from his
side.
I have no idea what's going onover there.
(34:09):
His backyard looks like ajungle.
He's very old.
Maybe something has deceasedback there.
I don't know.
But this happens in this houseevery springtime.
I don't know why.
And it's only like our littlesection anyway.
So there's flies flying into myhouse, which I cannot stand.
My dog and my son have trackedlike an actual sandbox across my
(34:31):
floor.
And then like the dishes werepiled up and we're going on a
trip tomorrow.
So I'm like.
Packing and things areeverywhere.
And I just had this likeimpending sense of like, I think
I'm gonna lose my mind.
Right?
And I just took a minute and Isat down with my son and I
looked at him and I said, mommyis having a very hard time being
(34:51):
home right now.
And I was like, well, and we dothis thing where I'm like, will
you help me take deep breaths?
He thinks it's hilarious.
Really?
I actually made it.
So he is like.
We do this big arm motion and webreathe a lot, and then I
usually end up tickling him orsomething to get out of it.
And the whole time I'm usuallypraying and asking for patience
(35:14):
or maybe crying or something,you know, because it can be
really hard and I feel like.
When I talk to people about howI've changed my mindset, like
that doesn't mean it's perfect,and that doesn't mean I do it
right every time.
But in those moments that feelreally, really hard, it's about
what you do then.
So do you tell yourself, yeah,I, this, this is gonna ruin my
(35:37):
whole day.
I am just gonna be so annoyedall day because of this
situation and like, we'll justtry again tomorrow.
Or are you gonna tell yourself,like today I said I'm gonna
vacuum the floor and I'm gonnaget the fly water.
And then we're gonna color andplay a game, and it's gonna be
great.
You know, like you just tacklethe things one by one and move
on, because otherwise you justdwell and it's such a downer.
(36:00):
So all of that to say, I thinkthat has been the most healing
part for me about being a mom isjust letting life happen, you
know?
Natalie Portman (36:12):
Trying not to make it perfect because you're
right, this side of heaven, wewill not experience perfection.
It's not until Jesus comes andthe new heavens and the new
Earth is established, that wewill experience that perfection.
We long for.
But here, especially as a, aworld that is just so micro and
(36:32):
macro level just infiltrated bysin and brokenness, and that
includes birth and that Includesbeing a mom to our sinful
children like we are.
We cannot be perfect right nowand when we expect that of
ourselves.
It does, it sets us off mentallyjust stew in that, and, or at
(36:57):
least I'll, I'll speak formyself for that.
I know that I can just stew inmy imperfections and it just
makes me wanna give up.
But I think it's so healthy tofind new ways, like you're
describing, just refocus, to goto the Lord.
To seek him when you are justcompletely at your wit's end and
(37:20):
kids will bring you there day.
There is not a day that goes bywith my kids where I don't get
to a point where I'm like, Lord,please help me.
'cause I, I cannot have thisargument again about the
underwear you're wearing orwhatever.
Every day it's a battle and.
But, but that's what's sobeautiful about this journey
(37:42):
that I've seen from so manyother women is that it is a very
sanctifying season because it'sso difficult because, you know,
scripture says the Lord is nearto the broken hearted.
And not to say that motherhoodmakes us broken hearted, but we
are constantly dealing.
(38:03):
with ourselves, like just arawness of ourselves and the
rawness of our children andtheir emotions and their sin and
just their selfishness, we faceit every single day.
And so I love that you sharedthat and even shared that way of
calming down.
I needed to give that one a try.
But that's beautiful.
(38:23):
Is that also how you got startedwith doing Nurtured Little Nest?
Give me some insight into howthat formed.
Emily Whalen (38:30):
Yeah, so I actually started my page around
the time my son was six monthsold.
And I posted for a year withnothing.
I think I had like 80 followersthe whole time, and some of them
were like robots, you know?
And so I just, I started it withlike a, a way to document what I
(38:51):
was learning because you consumeso much on your phone all the
time, and I would get ideas.
I was like, somebody around theworld would benefit from hearing
that.
And so I would just make it intoa little real or whatever, and
I, I knew that maybe nothingwould ever happen, right?
Like it's just for me and Ithink people that set out to
(39:15):
like be viral or like be famousor whatever, I think that's the
wrong attitude about it.
Because I've had a couplevideos.
Do well.
Like I've had one hit in themillions or something, but my
life didn't change.
You know what I mean?
Like, I've still lived my life.
It doesn't really lookdifferent.
It's just been a way to build acommunity with other moms who
(39:38):
are like-minded to me.
So I have some moms that alsoshare on their own pages.
I have some that don't shareanything.
But group chats have happened.
We've had discussions.
I've been able to help peoplewith things I've learned.
I've had people give me advice.
It's just been something thathas really blessed me in a way
that I wasn't fully expecting.
(39:59):
And I started it kind of hopingthat's what would happen.
And.
It's just been so rewarding toshare things that I learned.
I've always been somebody wholikes to teach things and I
thought I was going to be ateacher, and then I hated
school, so I was like, why wouldI go back to school?
You know?
So it's been really cool just toteach people how, like things
(40:24):
that I've learned aboutmotherhood, about anything, and.
In fact, I got a text from myhusband last night.
One of his coworkers recognizedhim from one of my reels.
He said, my wife just sent methis.
Is that you?
He is like, I recognized you.
And Josh was like, yeah, that'smy wife's Instagram.
(40:44):
And he was like, well, tell hershe made a great reel that made
my wife feel encouraged abouther birth.
'cause she's giving birth inJune.
And I was just like, that's thewhole point.
That's why I started it.
'cause I want to encourage and.
Inspire other women to combatthe lies that the world tells us
because the world tells us thatmotherhood is awful.
It's a trap that you're avictim, that you should resent
(41:07):
your spouse, that your kids areterrible.
Just all these negative thingsthat really when you tune that
out, are not true.
They're just not true, and youcan convince yourself of
anything.
So when you let all the negativepour in, of course you feel like
you don't like your spousebecause other people don't and
they're telling you about it,right?
So just like who you hang outwith, you become what you
(41:29):
consume on social media, youbecome, and I just felt like I
needed to add something positiveto the line of fire that you get
every time you open your phone.
Natalie Portman (41:40):
Yes.
That is so good, Emily.
And it's so true.
I think there is an aspect ofself-fulfilling prophecies.
And you're right,, the power ofthe tongue, it literally
manifest reality and.
And the same with even justreally negative thoughts because
like, if you think about it whenyou have a negative thought,
(42:01):
like one that I, I stillstruggle with, but one that I
struggle with less is like thismentality of I'm such a bad mom.
Or like, so something to thatkind of effect.
And if you, entertain that andruminate on that, It becomes
your reality and instead youcan, be transformed by the
(42:22):
renewing of your mind.
And you can take the word of Godand you can say like, not
perfect, but God doesn't requireperfection of me.
He would not have given me thesechildren if he had not called
and equipped me to be thischild's mom.
And.
And just speaking that truth andhaving community to speak into
(42:45):
you and encourage you throughthe tough times, because even
being a couple years postpartum,it's hard to remember all that
really took place during thattime.
And so when you're walkingthrough.
A very particular season withanother mom who is literally in
the trenches in that exact sametime as you.
(43:07):
There is so much encouragementin that because we do, we forget
a lot.
We just can't remember how hardit was, certain aspects of our
parenting and motherhoodjourney.
So I love that you are that forso many mamas that's incredible.
Emily Whalen (43:21):
Thank you.
Yeah, I just was one day reallyled to just start posting and I
was like, you know what?
I don't even care if this isembarrassing.
I just have stuff to say andnobody to say it to, so I'm
gonna post it.
Natalie Portman (43:37):
Well, I love it.
I'm so glad you did and that youjust listened to what the Lord
was whispering to you and, andjust encouraged you in that.
So if someone wants to connectwith you, is following you on
Instagram the best way to do it.
Emily Whalen (43:49):
Yeah.
I have Instagram, I have TikTok,and I am slowly building a
YouTube.
It feels like a lot of pressure,but I have one so you can follow
me there too.
It's all the same username.
Natalie Portman (44:02):
Awesome.
Thank you so much for coming onand sharing your story and
sharing a little bit more aboutwhat you've been up to.
loved attending your birth.
It was incredible and just sopowerful, and I also still cry
at that song.
Holy Forever.
It was such a powerful song.
Oh my goodness.
Emily Whalen (44:20):
It really is.
Natalie Portman (44:20):
good.
Well, thank you again.
I appreciate you.
Welcome back to Faith Over Fear, the Christian
Pregnancy and Birth podcast.
I am so excited to welcome EmilyWhalen, a sweet mama, content
creator, and someone I had thehonor of serving as her doula.
might know her from Instagram asNurtured Little Nest, where she
shares about slow livingmotherhood and how Jesus truly
(01:06):
transforms our minds and hearts.
Her story is powerful and fullof grace from navigating mental
health diagnoses to walkingthrough pregnancy, birth, and
postpartum with faith andintention.
thank you so much for being hereand being willing to share your
heart with us today.
Emily Whalen (01:23):
Hi.
Thank you for having me.
Natalie Portman (01:25):
Well, let's start from the beginning.
What was your journey like tobecoming pregnant?
Emily Whalen (01:30):
Well, this is probably a longer than expected
story, but it's, I guess I'llstart with.
Dating and getting married to myhusband'cause that's how it
goes.
So we got engaged when I was 19and we got married when I was 20
in the year 2019, right beforeCovid.
So it worked out.
But shortly after we gotmarried, my husband went off to
(01:56):
basic training for the Army andwas gone.
Pretty much for the entirety oflike the major shutdowns and
everything.
So we had pretty much nocontact.
'cause if you know anythingabout basic training or the
Army, you send letters to eachother pretty much, and that's
it.
So it was very interesting.
And during that time I startedhaving a lot of mental health
(02:17):
symptoms.
To make a very long story short,I ended up getting diagnosed
with OCD and bipolar disorder,which.
Looking at my family, it's notsurprising, it's one of those
things that like you don't thinkabout until it's happening to
you.
So I was just going off therails.
(02:37):
I was drinking a lot.
I didn't have anyaccountability.
My husband wasn't home.
And it was just a really hardtime.
And when he came home, he hadhad a hard time.
I had had a hard time and wetogether were having a hard
time.
So we moved in with my in-laws.
For a while.
I think we lived with them for ayear and a half.
(02:59):
And we finally, we've both beento therapy.
I was taking some medicationthat was really working and we
decided to move out.
We got an apartment and shortlyafter that I got pregnant.
And it's really funny'cause Idid not think I could, I was on
medicine that like I shouldn'thave been able to.
(03:21):
I had taken birth control foryears and years and years and I
was like, oh, surely like I'mgonna have a problem getting
pregnant.
Right?
And it was funny'cause I wasbeing really emotional about
something and my husband waslike, what if you're pregnant?
I was like, no, I'm not.
No, I'm not pregnant.
And then I went to the store anda Taylor Swift song made me cry
randomly in Target and I waslike.
(03:42):
Ooh, maybe I should buy a test.
So I did.
And sure enough, there was noquestion I was pregnant and I
called my husband who was atwork.
He is a law enforcement officer.
He was standing in the jail.
He had just arrested somebodyand he picked up the phone and I
was sobbing, like I couldn't getany words out.
(04:03):
And he goes, okay, either thedog died or you're pregnant.
I was like, the dog didn't die,and he was like, oh my gosh.
There's the whole thing.
It was awesome.
Natalie Portman (04:15):
love that story.
You so much.
is hilarious, Emily.
Emily Whalen (04:19):
Yeah, it's it's pretty good.
All of his cop friends were withhim.
They were all cheering.
It was great.
Natalie Portman (04:25):
so sweet.
That is incredible.
know.
Isn't it so surprising when youdo get pregnant, when you expect
that it's gonna take a while?
Which I think that is a healthymindset to have because most
women don't get pregnant.
Right out the gate.
And so.
That was the Lord's, story foryou guys.
(04:46):
I love that.
So then how was your pregnancyoverall?
How did you prepare for thatemotionally, spiritually, and
practically?
I.
Emily Whalen (04:54):
So I.
Have you heard of like the typeA, type B, type C people?
I'm very type C where I'm verylike, particular about a lot of
things and there's certainthings I just don't care about
as much.
So when I found out I waspregnant, I was like, oh, I have
to do everything perfect, right?
(05:14):
Like it's gonna have to beperfect.
So I found like the bestO-B-G-Y-N-I could find, and I
was reading all these books anddoing all these things and
really I think.
I was asking the wrong questionsbecause I was more worried about
my baby.
Right.
Obviously you're so worriedabout what's going on.
I had been taking medication Ihad to get off of which, so
(05:38):
uncomfy, I did not love that.
So I was extremely nauseous fromthat, but also from pregnancy
and my husband and I joke that Ijust like threw up for.
I feel like nine months I justkept throwing up and I know, I
know.
So many people are probablylike, yep.
Because it's so common.
But yeah, I just really wasfocused on what I could do for
(05:59):
my baby and not what I could dofor me.
And it's not that I regret that,but I feel like I could have had
an easier time if I had lookedinto things like, okay, how can
I take care of myself right now?
So looking back, if I could goback, I'd be like, please.
Eat something besidesChick-fil-A because I just know
that was probably part of whatwas making me sick is I was not
(06:21):
eating like good food.
I wasn't eating enough proteinprobably.
It was, it was interesting.
I liked, like, I loved beingpregnant.
I loved feeling my baby.
I loved like that aspect of it.
I did not love being really illall the time.
Also, I did not love the end,which everyone says that, right?
(06:46):
But I got really, really swollenand it was very difficult for me
to just like live every day.
I was working at.
Eleven22 at the time, and I waswalking around on Sundays and
like the sweet old ladies andstuff were like, are you okay?
I was like, no, I'm not.
(07:07):
I'm really pregnant.
But yeah, it, I would go backand be like, please, like eat a
steak or something, you know.
Natalie Portman (07:16):
I know it is incredible.
How, especially like that firsttrimester, like you have to give
yourself a lot of grace whenyou're that sick to just eat
whatever you can physicallytolerate.
then when you do start feeling alittle more normal to just
prioritize that.
(07:36):
The things that you know, youneed to eat.
I always recommend thisincredible book called Real Food
for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols.
It is so good.
I'll, I'll put that book in theshow notes, but that one's an
incredible read because it doestalk about like the changes in
your body's needs when you'repregnant.
And what's interesting too isWe're we're told things like
(07:58):
never eat sushi and like certainweird pregnancy things that
actually aren't true.
If you're getting sushi from areputable place, that's actually
really good for your bodybecause raw fish, it has more
selenium in it.
And I craved poke bowls and rawsushi, like no one's business
when I was pregnant.
so I think trying to listen toyour body a little bit more and
(08:20):
instead of just giving it,random things.
Being more intentional, but alsonot being so hard on yourself.
So don't beat so hard onyourself, Emily, because you
know you were doing the best youcould.
Especially that first time whenjust a whirlwind.
It can really be such awhirlwind that first time,
especially.
Emily Whalen (08:39):
It definitely was, and I, it's funny'cause I eat so
different now that I'm notpregnant.
I haven't been to a fast foodrestaurant in probably since I
was pregnant.
My son's almost two.
So it's just one of those thingswhere you're like, oh.
Natalie Portman (08:53):
Yes, I know I changed my diet big time.
When I was pregnant with Daniel,I had really bad eczema on my
hands.
It was kind of other places, butreally bad on my hands point
where I would be up at night.
Scratching the skin on my handsand it would always be worse at
night when you're like warmer.
(09:13):
And so, I don't know, it wasweird, but I was looking more
into, how maybe diet could beaffecting that.
'cause you obviously can't takelike steroids and stuff like
that, like creams and
Emily Whalen (09:23):
Right.
Natalie Portman (09:23):
I would have normally probably turned to.
I eliminated gluten, dairy, andeggs.
Just like cold Turkey justeliminated it it straight up
healed.
Completely my eczema I had somany other benefits, like my
joints were feeling better, Iswelled way less that pregnancy.
(09:45):
and so like just comparing thetwo pregnancies where the first
one, I wasn't eating horribly,but I also wasn't eating great
to like eating much cleaner thatsecond pregnancy.
It did make a huge difference.
But give yourself grace on that.
And, and I think it, it's, it'sone of those things where.
Because it is such a big lifeshift to change your diet.
(10:07):
You kind of have to slowly makeshifts.
Very few people can just do whatI did where I was like, oh, cold
Turkey, like one day.
I'm just not eating those thingsanymore.
But most of us need to have likethat slow change so that it's
more sustainable and we can, youknow, make just lasting changes
for our health.
Emily Whalen (10:27):
Definitely now that I've, I'm on this side of
it, that's what I had to do.
It started when I was giving myson solids for the first time,
mostly'cause I'm giving him likeavocados and chicken and beef
and all these things.
And I'm sitting here eating aReese's Peanut butter cup and he
reached out for it.
And I was like, oh, I'm notfeeding you that.
Like you're not eating that.
(10:48):
And in my mind, I just had likethe Holy Spirit say, if you
wouldn't feed your kid that,then why are you eating it?
And I was like, oh, I better,better stop
Natalie Portman (10:58):
Yes, yes.
It's so
Emily Whalen (11:00):
and sent me just like down the rabbit hole.
Mm-hmm.
Natalie Portman (11:03):
you do, you look at what you're feeding your
child and you're like, if I putin this much intention in what
I'm feeding them, I also need tobe intentional about what I'm
feeding myself, because our bodyis a temple and I think it
definitely can become idolatryif we take it way too far and we
have all these restrictions andit becomes this like self
(11:24):
worship.
But I think, you know, is a veryhealthy God-honoring way to
approach every aspect of yourlife, and especially something
like the way that you'reliterally nourishing your body
every single day, or notnourishing your body every
single day.
Emily Whalen (11:42):
Yeah, it's definitely interesting.
My husband's doing it now.
His eczema's gone also, so it's,it's really great.
I'm looking forward to the nextpregnancy to be.
I.
Like eating better and justwonder, compare the difference,
like you said,
Natalie Portman (11:55):
gonna be like a huge difference, I can tell you
that.
So how else did you kind ofprepare for that pregnancy
emotionally and kind of morepractically?
Emily Whalen (12:08):
emotionally, I just talked to women who had
been pregnant.
I talked to family members,which I.
Everyone's family's different.
Mine weren't so positive, butmembers of the church and people
just around me, moms already whohad young kids, moms whose kids
were grown and just kinda like,what would you do different or
(12:29):
what did you do that you liked?
And again, I read a ton ofbooks.
A lot of books.
Not all of them were helpful,but one of them that I read
Natalie Portman (12:40):
was it Ina May's Guide,
Emily Whalen (12:41):
Yes.
That's what it is.
Yes, it is.
Natalie Portman (12:43):
That one was a complete game changer for me.
I will also put that in the shownotes.
That one is what convinced me.
I.
To even attempt an unmedicatedbirth?
Emily Whalen (12:54):
Me too.
Natalie Portman (12:54):
yes, because it, it totally reframed for me
the intensity of labor andbirth.
And I had never heard thatbefore.
Really.
I kind of resolved at thebeginning of my pregnancy with
my, with my first, with Ellie,like, oh, I'm definitely gonna
get an epidural.
Like, yeah, there's no, there'sno medal For going unmedicated.
And I'm not saying you get amedal for going unmedicated, but
(13:17):
I just didn't see any sort ofvalue with even attempting that.
And so that's so crazy that,that was the book that changed
your mind too'cause Yeah, it's,it's really powerful.
The things that we tellourselves, you know, that,
mindset, and I think that bookis really great at helping
prepare your mindset.
Emily Whalen (13:36):
Mm-hmm.
Your mindset dictateseverything.
I, I always say my sister and myhusband, they get so annoyed
with me, but it's true.
I say, don't say anything outloud that you don't wanna be
true.
I.
Because anything you say, yourbrain hears it.
Anything you tell yourself, yourbrain hears it.
And whether you consciously,believe it or not,
subconsciously it's in there.
(13:58):
So if you believe, oh, I'm gonnaget an epidural, I'm gonna be in
pain, I'm gonna have all thesenegative things, that's probably
what's gonna happen.
And.
My husband, I love him so muchand I love how right he is about
most things.
He really is.
He's right about most things.
I just usually don't like theway he says it, but he really is
so smart and so right, but hewas like, Emily, I think you're
(14:19):
gonna need an epidural.
Like, why would you do that?
I've seen people give birth.
He's He used to be an ER tech atShands.
He's like, I've seen people givebirth.
Why would you try it without it?
And I was like, this sounds likea challenge now, so now I have
to do it.
Really the, the benefits onceyou understand them are kind of
amazing because if you look intothe epidural and what it does
(14:40):
and the things you need afterthat, like Pitocin, I didn't
have any of those things.
And immediately after my babywas born, like I had all feeling
everywhere.
Yes, I felt all of the negative,but I also felt all of the
positive.
Nothing in my experience wasblocked because of a
pharmaceutical I also havefriends who have really bad back
(15:01):
pain still from their epiduralthat has never gone away.
And honestly, I was more afraidof that and the needle that they
put in you than any pain I wasgonna face because I've always
had a thing about needles andthat was like the nail in the
coffin for me.
So you cannot come in near mewith that thing.
Natalie Portman (15:21):
Yeah.
And, and I think sometimes wecan oversimplify certain
interventions feel like theepidural can certainly have its
time and its place.
I have seen of times where Ifeel like mom was having a
really intense, long, drawn outlabor and that epidural.
(15:43):
Was able to kind of preserve herstrength to get her to the
finish line and have a vaginaldelivery that she really wanted.
But I also can see how if weresolve without really
investigating the benefits andthe risks of certain
interventions, and epidural iscertainly an intervention, then
(16:05):
we can just fall into a cycle.
Or, or like a cascade ofinterventions is what we call it
in the birth world where oneintervention leads to another,
leads to another, leads toanother.
many of the times an epiduralcan be like that first domino
that falls.
And again, this is not to saythat every single time that
happens, it's weighing the risksand the benefits and, and just
(16:29):
having that knowledge base tohave another option.
The other thing that's reallyinteresting is.
Depending on how quickly you gointo labor and have your baby,
sometimes you don't have timefor an epidural and it's very
wise to know how you might cope,might cope you don't even get
the opportunity to get anepidural.
(16:50):
Because I think that's theother, thing you can fall into
is thinking, oh, well I'mgetting an epidural so I don't
need to learn how to cope with,early labor or anything like
that.
Well, there's gonna be some timewhere you will be experiencing
unmedicated contractions.
You know, unless you have a planC-section, there's a good chance
that you will experience,, laborcontractions, even if the plan
(17:13):
is to get an epidural.
So, Yeah, I agree with that.
So, let's dive into your birthstory.
How far along were you when youstarted?
And then just go through as muchdetail as you want of, that
story.
Emily Whalen (17:27):
Yeah, so I was having like random contractions
for a week and I was sitting atfour centimeters dilated the
whole time.
It was so unpleasant.
I kept joking.
I was like, he's gonna fall out.
Like he's just so low.
And there was just pressure.
But I just had to live my lifethat way for a week.
And I was like, what are wedoing?
(17:47):
So the night that I went intolabor, Josh was sitting there on
the phone with his sergeant.
He was like, Emily, am I takingoff work tonight?
Or what?
Like, what's going on?
I was like, I.
I couldn't tell you.
So I just started walking my dogaround the block and my dog is a
(18:08):
golden retriever and he is verylazy, low energy golden
retriever.
So once we did like one lap, hewas like, what are we doing?
It's like, come on Boone, I'mtrying to walk this baby out.
Okay.
I'm like dragging him down thesidewalk.
So finally we get back.
I'm like this.
This isn't gonna happen.
I'm texting you and you're like,just go relax.
(18:28):
Just go sit down and see whathappens.
Like just give it time.
So I'm sitting there and I'mlike trying to read a book and I
can't focus on anything and I'mhaving contractions and Josh is
asking me again like, am I goingto work?
Like his sergeant gave him delayand time to, it was just, it was
so stressful for me'cause I feltso bad for everyone.
(18:49):
I was like, I don't know.
But finally I was like, oh wait,I think I'm having contractions.
Like for real.
And to me, I've always hadreally bad periods, so I was
like, is this just like a cramp?
What is this?
I don't know, because my crampshave always been bad.
So I'm just laying there and youare telling me to eat things.
You're like, go eat somethingjust in case.
(19:09):
Eat some food.
'cause once you get to thehospital, it is, they're not
gonna let you eat.
So Josh ordered a pizza for meand I ate.
Quite a bit of it.
And my contraction startedpicking up and I'm like trying
to ignore it because I'm like,no, surely it's not happening
today.
I don't wanna get my hopes up.
Right.
And finally, I texted you and.
(19:29):
I was like, yeah, they'rehowever many minutes apart.
And you're like, okay, well I'llcome over and like the goal will
be to stay at home for as longas possible.
And I remember throwing up rightwhen you got to my house, all
the pizza I had just eaten justcame back up.
And I was so frustrated.
But you're like, no, that'sgood.
It means like things are moving.
And I was like, okay, whateveryou say.
(19:50):
But yeah, we went to thehospital after that.
And I remember the car ride.
Josh was just like, are youokay?
Are you okay?
The whole time I was like, canyou just drive?
Can you just go?
I'm fine.
And it was about midnight, so weget there and I did not like the
check-in because I had to be bymyself.
It was the worst part.
(20:11):
So I was just trying to be calm.
My whole goal was to just becalm the whole time.
I just wanted to be like.
Present and peaceful and not getstressed because I knew once I
got like amped up, it would bereally hard for me to bring it
down.
So they're like asking me allthese questions and I'm like
okay, sure.
Like here's what I can rememberright now.
(20:31):
I'm having a contraction, so Ihope I'm telling you the right
thing.
And I remember sitting in the,the room and I was really chill
'cause I was like, purposefullybeing chill.
And she's like, I don't, I don'tknow, I don't think you're going
into labor right now.
Like, you're too calm.
And I was like, okay.
And then she's like, we'll checkyou and see what happens.
And I was like, okay, hope Idon't have to go back home.
How embarrassing would that be?
(20:53):
But she checked me and I was atsix centimeters and she was
like, wow, you were so calm.
You did not seem like you wereat six centimeters.
I was like, I'm trying reallyhard.
So they got me all checked in,changed.
I like barely remember it atthat point because I was so
focused on just trying to getinto the.
Room and just like focus.
(21:16):
So finally we get there and wehad some sweet nurses.
I remember this one that wasblonde and she was really just
like listening to the things Iwanted and being calm.
And I also remember beingannoyed about having to be in a
hospital.
For my next child, we'llprobably give birth in a birth
center or at home or something.
(21:37):
But for the first one, sinceJosh had worked in a hospital
and had seen things, he waslike, I just really want you to
be there in case something goeswrong.
Fair enough.
So I remember being annoyedabout that'cause they're
strapping things to me and likesticking an IV in me and all
this stuff.
And I'm like, I don't, this isnot helping.
But once that was going and Iwas really getting into labor.
(21:59):
I remember being so nauseous andyou were waving essential oils
in my face for me, which was sogood.
And I tell everyone about that.
I'm like, get somebody to dothat, because it was very
helpful.
And I remember Josh putting, ormaybe you put on my worship
playlist, somebody did.
And, and like the height of mycontractions, that song by Chris
(22:23):
Tomlin, Holy Forever.
Came on.
I cannot listen to that song inchurch because I just like weep.
Just remembering the birth,because I was getting to a point
where I was getting tired andthat song came on and I just was
like, all right, that's,everything's gonna be okay.
Like God is with me.
(22:44):
And.
I was breathing and you kepttelling me to UNC unclench my
jaw.
Which is so funny because I havereally bad TMJ and clench my jaw
all the time.
But I was like, okay, yep.
I'm gonna unc my jaw here tojust be relaxed.
And I remember havingcontractions and I think I said
one time, oh, that was a goodone.
And one of the nurses looked atme.
She was like, girl, because Ihad no pain medicine.
(23:07):
I had nothing at that point.
And then I remember I.
We got to the pushing and I justfelt like, okay, like now it's
time, but I also don't know if Ifeel ready.
Like I just, I was kind of justlike in this limbo, but the
nurses and everybody was sayingit was time.
So I was like, okay, it's time.
What do I know?
Right?
(23:27):
But looking back, I should havebeen more in tune with what my
body was telling me because myson was.
sunny side up, he was not theright way, even though at his
last ultrasound he was in theperfect position.
For some reason, he flipped onthe way down.
And I remember you telling methat I would feel a lot of back
(23:49):
pain if that had happened.
So I was not feeling a lot ofback pain, surprisingly, and so
I did not think that that waswhat was going on.
But I do remember.
Feeling like he wasn't moving,like he wasn't going anywhere.
And I was pushing and pushingand I was like, he is not going
anywhere.
And they had tried to check meseveral times and I had declined
(24:12):
it.
And I think I told you he's notmoving.
And you were like, all right,let's get you checked.
'cause that's, that's a bigdeal.
So they checked him and he wassunny side up.
And I remember the doctorlooking at me and saying, so you
can push for a few more minutesand then we can do a c-section.
And I remember you, you werelike, no, and praise God,
(24:33):
because I, I was just like,what?
No, I don't wanna do ac-section.
Like he just, what whatchatalking about?
And I remember you asking her,can you flip him?
And she was like, well, I cantry, but you're gonna feel the
whole thing.
And I was like, I don't care.
Like, just do it.
So she did, she just stuck herhand in there and gave him a
(24:54):
little spin.
And 20 minutes later I pushedout my beautiful little boy who
just needed some help withdirections on the way out.
Natalie Portman (25:03):
I know those little stinkers, I mean they do,
they flip in labor, which.
Is is great if your baby issunny side up to begin or like
op, then they can rotate into amore favorable position.
But it's not impossible to pushout a baby if they're sunny side
up.
I actually have had clients thatliterally deliver the baby the
(25:24):
opposite way.
They're supposed to be.
It's more challenging becausethey're basically trying to
navigate the pelvis backwardsand so it just, it's more work
for mama and baby, but.
Yeah, it, it's one of thosethings where at that point I had
seen other providers flip a babybefore, like in that exact
(25:46):
situation.
Like, we're pushing, they reachtheir hand inside and they flip
the baby.
And so I was like, Hey, what canyou do that, can you try?
Because it's, I mean, what elsedo we have to lose besides more
time of you pushing andpotentially a cesarean delivery,
which we all didn't want foryou, so.
God that provider was willing todo that.
(26:08):
Was successful in doing thatbecause yeah, it was like as
soon as that happened, he was,he was right there,
Emily Whalen (26:14):
it really is because I remember being like, I
can't do this anymore.
Like I cannot keep going.
I.
I did end up on my back somehow,which I had intended not to, but
I think it was really justbecause I was so tired that I
couldn't like keep standinganymore, like upwards.
And I was watching videos thatyou took in preparation to talk
(26:38):
about it.
And I, in the video I go, oh,I'm ready for a nap.
Natalie Portman (26:43):
And I actually do have clients that nap in
between pushing, they'llliterally just doze off
Emily Whalen (26:49):
Amazing.
Natalie Portman (26:50):
pushes and then wake up and start pushing and
then go right back to sleep.
That that's a thing too.
Emily Whalen (26:54):
I wish could have done that.
That sounds delightful.
Natalie Portman (26:58):
But what was it like when he was actually born?
Do you remember that feeling ofhim actually being born?
Emily Whalen (27:05):
I do.
And I remember, I remember Isaid some swear words.
I.
Natalie Portman (27:12):
I was like, girl, it is okay.
all good.
It is intense tense.
Emily Whalen (27:17):
It was so intense and like the feeling of him
actually being placed on mychest is like, it's almost, it's
indescribable how much of aimmediate connection that I just
instantly had with him.
And like I have worked inchildcare and in preschools, and
(27:39):
I was a nanny for a long time.
So like I know a lot about kids.
And they always say when it'syour own, it's different.
It really is because the minutehe came out, I was like, I would
do anything for you, literallyanything.
And what did he do?
He just breathed like once, andI was like that, yep.
(28:00):
I'm gonna just change everythingabout my life for you.
And I feel like God really doesthat on purpose because.
I did not have a clearunderstanding of his love for me
until I had my own child.
It used to baffle me like Godsent his son.
(28:20):
Jesus was looking at me on thecross and was delighted in that,
that he was saving me.
How?
Right?
Like how is that possible?
And now that I have a child andGod's supernatural love.
Is coming through me to mychild.
(28:41):
I, I can understand more of whatthat's like because I don't, I
cannot consider a situationwhere I wouldn't do anything for
him.
You know?
So I think it's just likesomething women uniquely get
access to because my husbandabsolutely has that connection,
but he did not push him out,right?
(29:02):
He doesn't have the sameexperience.
Nursing a baby for however longand you know, like labor and
just all of the things that arereally God's design because that
is such a intense time and it'sso much effort and being able to
(29:25):
experience it and feel all thethings through it and really
focus on like what God teachesyou in that is really.
Really unique, and I thinkthat's a lot of how God
sanctifies us is through birthand becoming a mother, because I
did not know how selfish I wasuntil I became a mom.
(29:46):
And just like everything inlife, your mindset about it is a
hundred percent what yourreality is going to be.
So when I was freshlypostpartum.
I was like, nothing about me isgonna change.
I am not gonna let motherhood bemy identity.
Like all these things that theworld tells you.
Right?
So I was just like, I'm going tobe myself.
(30:10):
I'm going to keep my job, I'mgoing to do all the things I
like to do and I'll have a baby,right?
Delusion.
About three months to my job andhaving a newborn and.
But three months into it, I waslike, I'm not, I can't do this.
This is not for me.
I'm not, I don't need a job.
This is my job now.
(30:31):
And I remember talking to myhusband about it and he was
like, well, yeah, just stayhome.
I was like, wait, what?
Like, I was expecting pushback,you know?
He was like, no, that I.
He is your life now.
That's totally fine.
If that's what you want to do,then you should do it.
So we kinda took a, not a hugefinancial hit.
It's not like I was making alot, but we took that and just,
(30:52):
I started staying home and I washome all day with him.
And it's one of those thingswhere your identity, like you
can go a little nuts if youdon't find something to do, you
know?
So I had to really learn a, howto give myself like when I don't
want to and not on my schedule,how to pour out into this child
(31:15):
who needs me.
And he was not a good sleeper,so we were very tired a lot.
He would just wake up all thetime looking for me, which is
not a bad thing.
We just wouldn't sleep longerthan like three hours.
So it was not ideal.
And I started making shiftsbecause I was getting burnt out
and I was feeling like, why do Inot like this?
(31:37):
Right?
Like, why am I feeling stuck?
Why don't I enjoy this?
This is my child.
I get one time being his mom andI'm not.
I would have FOMO almost aboutmy own life because I was
missing out because I wasmiserable.
And I was miserable because Iwasn't, I was resisting the
change.
I was resisting letting Godsanctify me through motherhood.
(32:02):
And once I realized that, thatmy life is going to look
different.
Directly.
How you feel about it is basedon your mindset and how much joy
you experience is based on whatyou're willing to take in,
right?
Like there's joyful thingsaround you every day,
(32:23):
everywhere.
Do you take them in?
Right.
So I am watching my son take hisfirst steps and I am watching
him eat food and learn words andI taught him baby sign language
and I type A situation was veryinto it.
So he knows a lot.
(32:43):
And so I'm talking to him insign language and I'm watching
him in his little brain justgoing like, those are all really
joyful moments.
And for me, half the time I.
They were being shadowed by, oh,there's dishes in my sink, or,
oh, the dog tracked dirt allover my house and I'm stepping
on it.
Right?
Like just the very specificthings that bother you.
And so having to learn thatletting go is okay and that
(33:07):
perfection is not the goal, eventhough that's always what I've
strived for my whole life wasperfection is literally never
going happen.
Jesus is the only one that coulddo.
Choosing to be present in theone thing I'm doing and not
(33:28):
thinking about all the others,which is so hard.
It's way easier to say that thanit is to do it, but it's really
been helpful.
I feel like in the last year,it's helpful that I don't have
postpartum hormones ranginganymore, but also it's helpful
that I've made the intentionalshift to tell myself positive
(33:48):
things.
I tell myself positive thingsabout everything, even when it's
annoying.
Like today, for example, myneighbor's backyard has a
situation happening over therethat we are unaware of, but
there is a hoard of flies thatcome over to our house from his
side.
I have no idea what's going onover there.
(34:09):
His backyard looks like ajungle.
He's very old.
Maybe something has deceasedback there.
I don't know.
But this happens in this houseevery springtime.
I don't know why.
And it's only like our littlesection anyway.
So there's flies flying into myhouse, which I cannot stand.
My dog and my son have trackedlike an actual sandbox across my
(34:31):
floor.
And then like the dishes werepiled up and we're going on a
trip tomorrow.
So I'm like.
Packing and things areeverywhere.
And I just had this likeimpending sense of like, I think
I'm gonna lose my mind.
Right?
And I just took a minute and Isat down with my son and I
looked at him and I said, mommyis having a very hard time being
(34:51):
home right now.
And I was like, well, and we dothis thing where I'm like, will
you help me take deep breaths?
He thinks it's hilarious.
Really?
I actually made it.
So he is like.
We do this big arm motion and webreathe a lot, and then I
usually end up tickling him orsomething to get out of it.
And the whole time I'm usuallypraying and asking for patience
(35:14):
or maybe crying or something,you know, because it can be
really hard and I feel like.
When I talk to people about howI've changed my mindset, like
that doesn't mean it's perfect,and that doesn't mean I do it
right every time.
But in those moments that feelreally, really hard, it's about
what you do then.
So do you tell yourself, yeah,I, this, this is gonna ruin my
(35:37):
whole day.
I am just gonna be so annoyedall day because of this
situation and like, we'll justtry again tomorrow.
Or are you gonna tell yourself,like today I said I'm gonna
vacuum the floor and I'm gonnaget the fly water.
And then we're gonna color andplay a game, and it's gonna be
great.
You know, like you just tacklethe things one by one and move
on, because otherwise you justdwell and it's such a downer.
(36:00):
So all of that to say, I thinkthat has been the most healing
part for me about being a mom isjust letting life happen, you
know?
Natalie Portman (36:12):
Trying not to make it perfect because you're
right, this side of heaven, wewill not experience perfection.
It's not until Jesus comes andthe new heavens and the new
Earth is established, that wewill experience that perfection.
We long for.
But here, especially as a, aworld that is just so micro and
(36:32):
macro level just infiltrated bysin and brokenness, and that
includes birth and that Includesbeing a mom to our sinful
children like we are.
We cannot be perfect right nowand when we expect that of
ourselves.
It does, it sets us off mentallyjust stew in that, and, or at
(36:57):
least I'll, I'll speak formyself for that.
I know that I can just stew inmy imperfections and it just
makes me wanna give up.
But I think it's so healthy tofind new ways, like you're
describing, just refocus, to goto the Lord.
To seek him when you are justcompletely at your wit's end and
(37:20):
kids will bring you there day.
There is not a day that goes bywith my kids where I don't get
to a point where I'm like, Lord,please help me.
'cause I, I cannot have thisargument again about the
underwear you're wearing orwhatever.
Every day it's a battle and.
But, but that's what's sobeautiful about this journey
(37:42):
that I've seen from so manyother women is that it is a very
sanctifying season because it'sso difficult because, you know,
scripture says the Lord is nearto the broken hearted.
And not to say that motherhoodmakes us broken hearted, but we
are constantly dealing.
(38:03):
with ourselves, like just arawness of ourselves and the
rawness of our children andtheir emotions and their sin and
just their selfishness, we faceit every single day.
And so I love that you sharedthat and even shared that way of
calming down.
I needed to give that one a try.
But that's beautiful.
(38:23):
Is that also how you got startedwith doing Nurtured Little Nest?
Give me some insight into howthat formed.
Emily Whalen (38:30):
Yeah, so I actually started my page around
the time my son was six monthsold.
And I posted for a year withnothing.
I think I had like 80 followersthe whole time, and some of them
were like robots, you know?
And so I just, I started it withlike a, a way to document what I
(38:51):
was learning because you consumeso much on your phone all the
time, and I would get ideas.
I was like, somebody around theworld would benefit from hearing
that.
And so I would just make it intoa little real or whatever, and
I, I knew that maybe nothingwould ever happen, right?
Like it's just for me and Ithink people that set out to
(39:15):
like be viral or like be famousor whatever, I think that's the
wrong attitude about it.
Because I've had a couplevideos.
Do well.
Like I've had one hit in themillions or something, but my
life didn't change.
You know what I mean?
Like, I've still lived my life.
It doesn't really lookdifferent.
It's just been a way to build acommunity with other moms who
(39:38):
are like-minded to me.
So I have some moms that alsoshare on their own pages.
I have some that don't shareanything.
But group chats have happened.
We've had discussions.
I've been able to help peoplewith things I've learned.
I've had people give me advice.
It's just been something thathas really blessed me in a way
that I wasn't fully expecting.
(39:59):
And I started it kind of hopingthat's what would happen.
And.
It's just been so rewarding toshare things that I learned.
I've always been somebody wholikes to teach things and I
thought I was going to be ateacher, and then I hated
school, so I was like, why wouldI go back to school?
You know?
So it's been really cool just toteach people how, like things
(40:24):
that I've learned aboutmotherhood, about anything, and.
In fact, I got a text from myhusband last night.
One of his coworkers recognizedhim from one of my reels.
He said, my wife just sent methis.
Is that you?
He is like, I recognized you.
And Josh was like, yeah, that'smy wife's Instagram.
(40:44):
And he was like, well, tell hershe made a great reel that made
my wife feel encouraged abouther birth.
'cause she's giving birth inJune.
And I was just like, that's thewhole point.
That's why I started it.
'cause I want to encourage and.
Inspire other women to combatthe lies that the world tells us
because the world tells us thatmotherhood is awful.
It's a trap that you're avictim, that you should resent
(41:07):
your spouse, that your kids areterrible.
Just all these negative thingsthat really when you tune that
out, are not true.
They're just not true, and youcan convince yourself of
anything.
So when you let all the negativepour in, of course you feel like
you don't like your spousebecause other people don't and
they're telling you about it,right?
So just like who you hang outwith, you become what you
(41:29):
consume on social media, youbecome, and I just felt like I
needed to add something positiveto the line of fire that you get
every time you open your phone.
Natalie Portman (41:40):
Yes.
That is so good, Emily.
And it's so true.
I think there is an aspect ofself-fulfilling prophecies.
And you're right,, the power ofthe tongue, it literally
manifest reality and.
And the same with even justreally negative thoughts because
like, if you think about it whenyou have a negative thought,
(42:01):
like one that I, I stillstruggle with, but one that I
struggle with less is like thismentality of I'm such a bad mom.
Or like, so something to thatkind of effect.
And if you, entertain that andruminate on that, It becomes
your reality and instead youcan, be transformed by the
(42:22):
renewing of your mind.
And you can take the word of Godand you can say like, not
perfect, but God doesn't requireperfection of me.
He would not have given me thesechildren if he had not called
and equipped me to be thischild's mom.
And.
And just speaking that truth andhaving community to speak into
(42:45):
you and encourage you throughthe tough times, because even
being a couple years postpartum,it's hard to remember all that
really took place during thattime.
And so when you're walkingthrough.
A very particular season withanother mom who is literally in
the trenches in that exact sametime as you.
(43:07):
There is so much encouragementin that because we do, we forget
a lot.
We just can't remember how hardit was, certain aspects of our
parenting and motherhoodjourney.
So I love that you are that forso many mamas that's incredible.
Emily Whalen (43:21):
Thank you.
Yeah, I just was one day reallyled to just start posting and I
was like, you know what?
I don't even care if this isembarrassing.
I just have stuff to say andnobody to say it to, so I'm
gonna post it.
Natalie Portman (43:37):
Well, I love it.
I'm so glad you did and that youjust listened to what the Lord
was whispering to you and, andjust encouraged you in that.
So if someone wants to connectwith you, is following you on
Instagram the best way to do it.
Emily Whalen (43:49):
Yeah.
I have Instagram, I have TikTok,and I am slowly building a
YouTube.
It feels like a lot of pressure,but I have one so you can follow
me there too.
It's all the same username.
Natalie Portman (44:02):
Awesome.
Thank you so much for coming onand sharing your story and
sharing a little bit more aboutwhat you've been up to.
loved attending your birth.
It was incredible and just sopowerful, and I also still cry
at that song.
Holy Forever.
It was such a powerful song.
Oh my goodness.
Emily Whalen (44:20):
It really is.
Natalie Portman (44:20):
good.
Well, thank you again.
I appreciate you.
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