April 29, 2025 • 19 mins
We dive deep into the experiences of Black lesbian women navigating family acceptance, relationships, and self-identity in a world that often misunderstands them. Our guests share raw, unfiltered stories about the challenges and triumphs of being their authentic selves.
GUEST- KIID (BUFFALO, NEW YORK)
GUEST- ROSS ( COMPTON, CALIFORNIA)
• First impressions when introducing partners to family members
• Coping with rejection from religious family members
• How isolation became a survival mechanism after family judgment
• The emotional impact of being rejected for your identity
• Setting boundaries with men who disrespect personal space
• Challenging misconceptions about masculine-presenting lesbians
• Navigating modern pronoun usage and showing mutual respect
• Finding balance in relationships and avoiding one-sided partnerships
• The importance of therapy for processing identity-related trauma
• Creating realistic expectations in relationships beyond financial contributions
• Learning to recognize your own worth and setting healthy boundaries
Go to therapy! As our guests emphasized multiple times, professional support is crucial for processing trauma and building healthy relationships.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, I'm the big man.
This is the largest fashionshow on the podcast.
Say I'm the biggest.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
What's up, y'all?
It's your girl.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
DJ Pornbill Ross representing Isolations Expo.
You know what Compton PortArray?
You know you got to get it.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Look they won't.
Yes, sir, All right.
Yo, it's Keith from Buffalo.
You know what I'm saying?
Chillin' in the D.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Chillin' with the vibes and shit.
You know it's going to be amovie, yeah, hey, and we're just
going to be personal and writea bit right into it.
So with what's going on and howyou know, there's been a lot
going on in the city and peoplefeel a certain kind of ways
about certain things.
I just had a question for someof y'all what was it like
introducing your firstgirlfriend to your family?
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
You know what, my first time introducing my lover
to my family, my family isreally like they're really open.
You know what I mean.
So it wasn't as hard, it wasn'tlike I didn't have any like tug
or pull situation with that.
You know, introduce my partnerand they openly loved and loved
(01:21):
and loved you know?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
No, I was it was always tough my family's
spiritual Christian, like.
So it wasn't None of that.
You know what I'm saying.
It was tough.
So I'm not going to say I hid,because I've always been me, but
like just talking to my familyabout it.
It was never that.
But I'm old now.
If you haven't seen it.
You know what I'm saying.
I mean, if y'all don't like now, I don't know what to tell you
(01:46):
so did any?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
either one of y'all's family members treat y'all a
certain kind of way when theyfound out that y'all were
actually y'all like the women,yeah, that they like put you,
put you like on a back burner ormake you feel some type of way
to the point where you just likeI don't even want to be around
you because this is me, and ifyou can't accept me, like doing
what the fuck like whatever itfinds.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I feel like for me it wasn't always like to my face.
There's always little telephoneconversations going on around
the family.
You know what I mean.
So I don't know, man.
No, but yes, did it hurt?
Did it hurt when I was younger?
Yes, for sure.
Now that I'm older, I don'tcare.
You, you know what I mean.
You guys got to deal with whaty'all got to deal with because
(02:28):
my family is a head-yellin'Christian.
You know what I mean.
But in my opinion and I'm nottrying to bash my family Y'all
have to listen to the news.
In my opinion, you can'tconstantly throw the Bible and
not follow suit.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
In my opinion, you can't constantly throw the Bible
and not follow suit with it.
You know what I mean.
No one greater than the next.
I really became a loner afterthe fact.
You know what I'm saying.
It was just me and whoever Iwas dating at the time really,
like I said, like you said,high-heeled Christianity or
whatever I never had to be likeyo, I'm gay.
You know what I'm saying.
Like like I said, you can lookat me until.
I've been like this my wholeentire life.
I've never been into dudes,like nothing like that.
(03:07):
So when it all came out, it was, it was tough.
You know what I'm saying.
But, like I said, you let it go.
After a while I just isolatedmyself.
It was me and I was cool withthat.
You know what I'm saying.
Y'all, eventually, if not, youcan answer to the man at the end
of the day, just like I got tostand to him and answer to him.
Yeah, I can do the same.
Judgment is the also a sin?
(03:28):
So yeah.
And we all out here sayingwhat's?
Speaker 1 (03:31):
up.
How was that on yourrelationship, though?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
You know I didn't care, no, I'll be mine, like
nobody I did.
No, how did that?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
make you feel mentally, though.
You became a loner and you werein a relationship.
I know that I mean.
I only fucked with yousometimes when we got down, yes
and no.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I mean because the women out there they made sure I
was good.
You know what I'm saying.
Now it's different between thewomen you date and your family.
You know what I'm saying.
So it took a toll on me, on howI ain't for a long time.
At the same time I'm in YMD.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
So you know you can do shit.
You live in your ver.
(04:07):
It's just something To me.
I guess, accepting it nowbecause I was fucked up for a
minute, it was just like yo, Iain't got nobody and it hurt
Like I cried every day, justbecause the shit that I've been
through is like yo.
I just need somebody to talk to.
People show their colors aftera while.
You know Fair.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Heavy on therapy too.
You know, like I constantly say, therapy, therapy, therapy, and
finding you or cultivating agroup of people that you guys
can lean on.
You know, so I always vouch fortherapy.
Talk to somebody, you know it'sthat emotional stress
(04:47):
especially.
You know, so I always vouch fortherapy.
Talk to somebody, you know it'sthat emotional stress
especially.
You know, not trying to saywhat your relationship is.
If I can, like, put myself Inthat situation, really think
about it, and it's just you andyour partner and I can only
imagine like the emotions thatshe was feeling too, also
keeping you up, you know,keeping you above water.
So that's always voucher fortherapy, everybody go.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I feel like it's okay for males to feel like y'all
need to, y'all should puty'allself in a man's place with
certain things and really withyou being a woman.
Now they feel a certain type ofway Like some males.
They're like okay, well, sayyou get into it with a guy and
they ready to beat your ass.
Because in some of them they'relike I don't care that's a
female, I don't care how youportray yourself to me, you a
(05:33):
woman.
When you got some, they feellike well, you portraying
yourself to be a motherfuckingdude, so I'm going to beat your
ass like one.
And they treat you like a dude.
Nope.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
We better do this.
Let's go to the next, don't yousee?
I'm here to be held in awe.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You find a bitch to do it for you.
You know what I mean.
Like how am I going to sitthere and argue with no nigga,
nor have I really had thatenergy on the outside.
It's more internal, with thefamily in a sense.
You know what I mean.
I feel like older Black peoplehave that misconception exactly
what you said and y'all want tobe.
We want to be men.
I love my breasts, I love mylittle person down there.
(06:12):
I love everything about being awoman.
You know there's nothingagainst wearing free-flowing
clothing and something thatmakes me feel something that
makes me feel good.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
So yeah, I don't argue with them niggas, if you
man enough to step to me,knowing that I'm, for real,
still a female, you pussy hell.
So I'm about to beat your bitchass.
Okay, so this can be a littlecontroversial.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
So what scenario?
What is the scenario to have tobe?
It has to be for you to be inan argument with another male,
with a male.
Yeah, what is the?
Speaker 3 (06:52):
setting For me just this in my personal space don't
step on my face.
I don't give a fuck Get out ofmy face.
That's my personal space.
Don't step on my face.
I don't give a fuck Get out ofmy face.
That's my personal space, man,and just me.
In general, it take a lot toget me out of my zone, for me to
get upset, to even want to putmy hands on you see what I'm
saying.
But for you to constantly be inmy face bitch, bitch, bitch
(07:15):
I'll beat you up After a while.
You're don't have to show upand show up.
You see what I'm saying.
And even with a dude, all menfall the same.
I don't do a fuck.
That's where I'm going.
First, right, even a whole bodygot still toes on cause.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
It's all come you know what my hands is up, though
, cause I okay, if any of y'allwatching this know who we know
is black lesbians, I don't know,picking shoes.
Your days ago I had to throwhands with white men.
I'm not going to lie, so I lieda little bit.
Oh, I forgot, I forget, but youknow like I'm happy to edit it,
(07:53):
but I'm happy on respectingwomen, respecting our bodies and
staying in your motherfuckingplace.
You know what I mean.
And that white man, thatoccasion man, is staying in his
motherfucking place.
You know what I mean.
So things like that.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
yeah, all right, a little bit.
Like I said, it take me a lot.
Take a lot Just when it comesto anybody.
I'm not confrontational unlessI have to be.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
If you can't feel nothing when you're strapping
your woman down, you need tospend a little bit more on your
rubber back you know what'scrazy my sister told me when I
was younger she was like whatyou been feeling?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
I'm like, bro, ain't no fucking way.
So I had to try it.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
And I'm like, yeah, you know what, I gotta be really
attracted and like somethinghas to be drawn to.
I have to be drawn to youspiritually for me to really
like.
You know, do you when?
Good, and you know, yeah, justhow you, how, that connection,
for sure, that connection has tobe there for me, freaking
everybody.
I'm going to catch hell fromy'all because that's the show.
I brought my little rubberneckin it that is.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I don't test the wrong thing.
No, you know, I'm happy on the.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
You know the testing.
Go test Yo.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
My child is black.
Yeah, cause the ones out here,especially when you find the
club.
They don't give a fuck aboutnone of this.
Everybody's for everybody, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Out here.
Yeah, you act weird.
Then they still fucking do itin school.
If you're a lesbian, you're alesbian.
Like lesbian is a lesbian Women.
Only that's what it's saying.
And they got so many labels foreverything.
Where the fuck did all theselabels come from?
You was either gay bisexual.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
All that shit started to matter to me.
You know, as I was coming, youknow what I'm going, so I was
just like I was understanding.
I think pronouns is a reallynew thing for me and like
understanding, like my lastsituation, that my last they had
a pronoun of they there, youknow, and that was kind of hard
for me because I was like youknow, she know, she, she, she,
(10:19):
she, what the fuck is a.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
They them, it's just they them.
Who the fuck is them?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I just try to respect whatever person because I want
respect.
Coming out as a lesbian blackwoman, won't you respect me?
So if you have a pronouns ofthey, them, he, she, her, crap,
ass, if that's what you want tobe called.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I'm going to call you that, okay, so is they them one
person?
They them could be one person,probably, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
So I have a question how do y'all feel about a woman?
Say she's lesbian and shethinks she's lesbian.
You meet her and then she haskids.
Like do you feel like if shedidn't do it the way that it's
supposed to be done?
But what is she?
Kids before.
I have kids.
What is that?
Yes, but then you meet her andshe's like I love me.
Then you end up talking to her.
(11:07):
She's like I have kids, butthat's after, in fact.
So do you care about whathappened before?
If she changed, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I love me, I love kids.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I love kids.
Yeah, she said I got a babydaddy, but we not together.
I'm gay now, like what you like?
I don't know, bitch, that'smine.
Yeah, okay, that's a trauma man.
Why, the fuck, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
You ever said that Well, y'all, I'm asking, I'm
asking, I'm just askingquestions.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I'm just listening, I'm asking questions, but if you
want outside, then want to knowif there's people that I don't
know.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
You were in there.
You were in there.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I don't know.
I've been told I'm dominant butI act too manly.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I feel like a woman shouldn'tsay that she's gay if she has
kids.
So I feel like a womanshouldn't say that she's gay if
she has kids.
So I feel like, even though,like I was saying earlier, if
you have a 16-year-old butdepending on what she said, what
(12:08):
he do to you, what happened orwhatever you decide, like
getting hurt or this isn't it,and you feel like with the woman
, it's, it's better.
Like you, everything is there.
So what they missing andfucking up on this thing, like
when you were there, and that's,that's where it's at.
So that's where I'm saying I'mgoing to sustain, that's what I
really like.
(12:32):
But some people feel like, no,no, that's not what it is.
If you've ever had a baby, orthis isn't it.
You gotta basically have nokids to be gay or to like women
or be a lesbian.
I think that's.
Another question is, with yougot, with you being how you are,
have your parents, what?
When did y'all have that talklike I want grandbabies.
So you gotta do somethingdifferent or something gotta
happen, but I'm gonnagrandbabies.
I need some grandbabies.
They may test you in this yearof life.
I'm trying to figure out how tovirgin marry.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I'm a parent already.
So I thought about having myown, but I'm getting old baby.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
There's still hope.
I mean, I'm the youngest ofseven.
Well, you can't be the youngestof seven, I'm the baby.
I think my parents, they arethe grandpapiers, those loaded
boys about them.
Covid, I've had conversationswith my people.
You know like I do and I alwayssay you know what I mean Heavy
(13:26):
on the shotgun.
Babies, Grandkids are going tocome.
I don't know how soon myparents are older.
You know what I mean, but Ipray and hope that you know that
it's not amazing.
You know, like it's a shot ofnothing dead on the body.
That's great.
I want a whole football team.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I love the babies.
Last question, before we getout of here, though so when
you're dating, if you decide todate someone, if she, when you
date her, if she is, she don'thave nothing going for her.
Like she don't have money, she,you know how to just be about
the money.
Like, basically, if you're withher, you basically will be
taking care of her and you canbe doing everything in a
relationship.
Like she's just one of thoselike do this, do this.
(14:07):
So you believe, like if you'reat the bottom or you wouldn't be
socked off for someone that'snot where you are, I'm not
coming.
You got to be where I'm at oryou ain't know, we get in the
mud together.
That's what I was supposed tomake.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
That's who I'm holding this match to try, and
you know like she's workingtowards it.
Because every day I get up, getto you situations.
I've been in situations where Ifelt like I had to be the
backbone and I had to be likethe, the, the caregiver and the
caregiver and the relationship.
That is not a good feeling.
Constantly pouring this tosomebody else and you're not
(14:41):
your cup, this isn't.
You know what I mean.
It's not a great feeling at all.
It's not.
I feel like I give, I, I get alittle leniency.
I just got to see the effortthere.
I don't see any effort there.
I don't expect, like I thinkyou asked a question where, like
, do they have to be right thenwith you?
You know, depending on what youdo, you know you might be here,
(15:02):
your partner might be here.
You know what I mean.
But you know a balance, it hasto be balanced.
That's just the main thing forme as a tourist.
I would love for a woman tojust meet me there emotionally.
You know everything don't haveto be financially.
You know what I mean.
But you gotta pour it into mycup.
That was the wake-up call, likeyou know, like I had to really,
(15:25):
like it was really, it wasreally hard.
It was really hard on mementally waking up in the
morning and she's still asleep,and you calling and she's still
asleep.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Like I didn't do something, Something.
I'm not coming at it as a cismentality, but just, you know,
meet me half fucking way.
You know, that's all I ask for.
You know, and I feel like a lotof women come in that situation
and get with a masculine womanwith a cis mentality.
We are not men.
You know what I mean.
(16:01):
I truly believe in 50-50 too.
Or if your partner don't have a50, you know what I mean.
Or if they a little off fromlike a hundred or some shit.
You know like we can make itwork, like I had a conversation
with my friend, like if mysalary is this and like my, my
partner's salary five or ten kless, who's gonna pick up the
little slack?
You know what I mean by this,but this person's still
(16:22):
contributing.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
So it's like I've dealt withthat and I was stupid.
You know, because sometimestauraurus is like damn, like I
love this woman, like I want tohold on to her because I see the
beauty that she holds and shedon't see it herself, and it
becomes like soul crushing toyou.
Yeah, but I can't justconstantly hear you, you know,
telling me ah yeah, I can't dothis.
(16:43):
I can't do that, I can't dothis, but when I first got with
you, you had all these differenthobbies yeah, all these
different things that can beprofitable.
You know what I'm saying.
You can pick up that cameraanytime you want, you know, and
make some money.
You got to also be able tomarket yourself.
You can't be like.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I don't have a client base.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
But you've been hosting nothing on social media.
You got yourself out there.
You know what I'm saying.
So it's like it's bad.
I feel like people got to getout of the victim mindset.
Go to therapy.
I got a friend that I speak toand she constantly says that
we're all doing the best that wecan, especially in this moment
(17:28):
in time.
So that don't like to everyone,but you know what you know.
You know you will know, deepdown inside You're really like
getting up every day.
You're like, ok, like I did putmy best foot forward today, you
know, but you know everybody isdoing the best that they can.
Everybody is moving with theinformation that they have.
You know what I mean.
It's up to you whether you wantto sit down to be knowledgeable
(17:50):
or you want to be a sponge orsoak up of things that you don't
know about.
You know what I mean.
It's all up to you.
Brother, ball isn't real quick.
That my sister, you know, shoutout to you danny.
That is like a second mother tome and I was like um, when I
was a bit young I was like danny, like I pray for this, that
this, why isn't thou working?
She was like girl, becauseyou're not, you're not, you're
not, you're not praying to, tobe able to hold and understand
(18:15):
what you have and pray and keepit.
You know what I mean and why.
So you'd be like I want this, Iwant that, I want this, I want
that.
Nah, we gotta switch it up abit.
How can I hold on to this, howcan I maintain it?
And you know, like we gottafigure out how we can move.
And also, I feel like, for,like for the masculine women, or
just women in general, we needto.
I feel like, if I can givepeople a recommendation, we're
(18:37):
tapping to Bell Hooks, you know.
Tapping to Audre Lorde, youknow you will get some good
lunch skills and all that goodstuff in there.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yeah, open up a book.
Y'all had a lot to say.
I know y'all didn't heard a Earpull.
Until next time, take carey'all.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You're the mix with the one and only Celebrity, dj
Kornbread, aka the Empress.
Hey, I'm the big man.
This is the largest Fashionshow of the podcast.
Say I'm the biggest.
Hey, I'm the big man.
This is the largest fashionshow on the podcast.
Say I'm the biggest.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
What's up, y'all?
It's your girl.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
DJ Pornbill Ross representing Isolations Expo.
You know what Compton PortArray?
You know you got to get it.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Look they won't.
Yes, sir, All right.
Yo, it's Keith from Buffalo.
You know what I'm saying?
Chillin' in the D.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Chillin' with the vibes and shit.
You know it's going to be amovie, yeah, hey, and we're just
going to be personal and writea bit right into it.
So with what's going on and howyou know, there's been a lot
going on in the city and peoplefeel a certain kind of ways
about certain things.
I just had a question for someof y'all what was it like
introducing your firstgirlfriend to your family?
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
You know what, my first time introducing my lover
to my family, my family isreally like they're really open.
You know what I mean.
So it wasn't as hard, it wasn'tlike I didn't have any like tug
or pull situation with that.
You know, introduce my partnerand they openly loved and loved
(01:21):
and loved you know?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
No, I was it was always tough my family's
spiritual Christian, like.
So it wasn't None of that.
You know what I'm saying.
It was tough.
So I'm not going to say I hid,because I've always been me, but
like just talking to my familyabout it.
It was never that.
But I'm old now.
If you haven't seen it.
You know what I'm saying.
I mean, if y'all don't like now, I don't know what to tell you
(01:46):
so did any?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
either one of y'all's family members treat y'all a
certain kind of way when theyfound out that y'all were
actually y'all like the women,yeah, that they like put you,
put you like on a back burner ormake you feel some type of way
to the point where you just likeI don't even want to be around
you because this is me, and ifyou can't accept me, like doing
what the fuck like whatever itfinds.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I feel like for me it wasn't always like to my face.
There's always little telephoneconversations going on around
the family.
You know what I mean.
So I don't know, man.
No, but yes, did it hurt?
Did it hurt when I was younger?
Yes, for sure.
Now that I'm older, I don'tcare.
You, you know what I mean.
You guys got to deal with whaty'all got to deal with because
(02:28):
my family is a head-yellin'Christian.
You know what I mean.
But in my opinion and I'm nottrying to bash my family Y'all
have to listen to the news.
In my opinion, you can'tconstantly throw the Bible and
not follow suit.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
In my opinion, you can't constantly throw the Bible
and not follow suit with it.
You know what I mean.
No one greater than the next.
I really became a loner afterthe fact.
You know what I'm saying.
It was just me and whoever Iwas dating at the time really,
like I said, like you said,high-heeled Christianity or
whatever I never had to be likeyo, I'm gay.
You know what I'm saying.
Like like I said, you can lookat me until.
I've been like this my wholeentire life.
I've never been into dudes,like nothing like that.
(03:07):
So when it all came out, it was, it was tough.
You know what I'm saying.
But, like I said, you let it go.
After a while I just isolatedmyself.
It was me and I was cool withthat.
You know what I'm saying.
Y'all, eventually, if not, youcan answer to the man at the end
of the day, just like I got tostand to him and answer to him.
Yeah, I can do the same.
Judgment is the also a sin?
(03:28):
So yeah.
And we all out here sayingwhat's?
Speaker 1 (03:31):
up.
How was that on yourrelationship, though?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
You know I didn't care, no, I'll be mine, like
nobody I did.
No, how did that?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
make you feel mentally, though.
You became a loner and you werein a relationship.
I know that I mean.
I only fucked with yousometimes when we got down, yes
and no.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I mean because the women out there they made sure I
was good.
You know what I'm saying.
Now it's different between thewomen you date and your family.
You know what I'm saying.
So it took a toll on me, on howI ain't for a long time.
At the same time I'm in YMD.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
So you know you can do shit.
You live in your ver.
(04:07):
It's just something To me.
I guess, accepting it nowbecause I was fucked up for a
minute, it was just like yo, Iain't got nobody and it hurt
Like I cried every day, justbecause the shit that I've been
through is like yo.
I just need somebody to talk to.
People show their colors aftera while.
You know Fair.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Heavy on therapy too.
You know, like I constantly say, therapy, therapy, therapy, and
finding you or cultivating agroup of people that you guys
can lean on.
You know, so I always vouch fortherapy.
Talk to somebody, you know it'sthat emotional stress
(04:47):
especially.
You know, so I always vouch fortherapy.
Talk to somebody, you know it'sthat emotional stress
especially.
You know, not trying to saywhat your relationship is.
If I can, like, put myself Inthat situation, really think
about it, and it's just you andyour partner and I can only
imagine like the emotions thatshe was feeling too, also
keeping you up, you know,keeping you above water.
So that's always voucher fortherapy, everybody go.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I feel like it's okay for males to feel like y'all
need to, y'all should puty'allself in a man's place with
certain things and really withyou being a woman.
Now they feel a certain type ofway Like some males.
They're like okay, well, sayyou get into it with a guy and
they ready to beat your ass.
Because in some of them they'relike I don't care that's a
female, I don't care how youportray yourself to me, you a
(05:33):
woman.
When you got some, they feellike well, you portraying
yourself to be a motherfuckingdude, so I'm going to beat your
ass like one.
And they treat you like a dude.
Nope.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
We better do this.
Let's go to the next, don't yousee?
I'm here to be held in awe.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You find a bitch to do it for you.
You know what I mean.
Like how am I going to sitthere and argue with no nigga,
nor have I really had thatenergy on the outside.
It's more internal, with thefamily in a sense.
You know what I mean.
I feel like older Black peoplehave that misconception exactly
what you said and y'all want tobe.
We want to be men.
I love my breasts, I love mylittle person down there.
(06:12):
I love everything about being awoman.
You know there's nothingagainst wearing free-flowing
clothing and something thatmakes me feel something that
makes me feel good.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
So yeah, I don't argue with them niggas, if you
man enough to step to me,knowing that I'm, for real,
still a female, you pussy hell.
So I'm about to beat your bitchass.
Okay, so this can be a littlecontroversial.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
So what scenario?
What is the scenario to have tobe?
It has to be for you to be inan argument with another male,
with a male.
Yeah, what is the?
Speaker 3 (06:52):
setting For me just this in my personal space don't
step on my face.
I don't give a fuck Get out ofmy face.
That's my personal space.
Don't step on my face.
I don't give a fuck Get out ofmy face.
That's my personal space, man,and just me.
In general, it take a lot toget me out of my zone, for me to
get upset, to even want to putmy hands on you see what I'm
saying.
But for you to constantly be inmy face bitch, bitch, bitch
(07:15):
I'll beat you up After a while.
You're don't have to show upand show up.
You see what I'm saying.
And even with a dude, all menfall the same.
I don't do a fuck.
That's where I'm going.
First, right, even a whole bodygot still toes on cause.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
It's all come you know what my hands is up, though
, cause I okay, if any of y'allwatching this know who we know
is black lesbians, I don't know,picking shoes.
Your days ago I had to throwhands with white men.
I'm not going to lie, so I lieda little bit.
Oh, I forgot, I forget, but youknow like I'm happy to edit it,
(07:53):
but I'm happy on respectingwomen, respecting our bodies and
staying in your motherfuckingplace.
You know what I mean.
And that white man, thatoccasion man, is staying in his
motherfucking place.
You know what I mean.
So things like that.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
yeah, all right, a little bit.
Like I said, it take me a lot.
Take a lot Just when it comesto anybody.
I'm not confrontational unlessI have to be.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
If you can't feel nothing when you're strapping
your woman down, you need tospend a little bit more on your
rubber back you know what'scrazy my sister told me when I
was younger she was like whatyou been feeling?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
I'm like, bro, ain't no fucking way.
So I had to try it.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
And I'm like, yeah, you know what, I gotta be really
attracted and like somethinghas to be drawn to.
I have to be drawn to youspiritually for me to really
like.
You know, do you when?
Good, and you know, yeah, justhow you, how, that connection,
for sure, that connection has tobe there for me, freaking
everybody.
I'm going to catch hell fromy'all because that's the show.
I brought my little rubberneckin it that is.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I don't test the wrong thing.
No, you know, I'm happy on the.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
You know the testing.
Go test Yo.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
My child is black.
Yeah, cause the ones out here,especially when you find the
club.
They don't give a fuck aboutnone of this.
Everybody's for everybody, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Out here.
Yeah, you act weird.
Then they still fucking do itin school.
If you're a lesbian, you're alesbian.
Like lesbian is a lesbian Women.
Only that's what it's saying.
And they got so many labels foreverything.
Where the fuck did all theselabels come from?
You was either gay bisexual.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
All that shit started to matter to me.
You know, as I was coming, youknow what I'm going, so I was
just like I was understanding.
I think pronouns is a reallynew thing for me and like
understanding, like my lastsituation, that my last they had
a pronoun of they there, youknow, and that was kind of hard
for me because I was like youknow, she know, she, she, she,
(10:19):
she, what the fuck is a.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
They them, it's just they them.
Who the fuck is them?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I just try to respect whatever person because I want
respect.
Coming out as a lesbian blackwoman, won't you respect me?
So if you have a pronouns ofthey, them, he, she, her, crap,
ass, if that's what you want tobe called.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I'm going to call you that, okay, so is they them one
person?
They them could be one person,probably, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
So I have a question how do y'all feel about a woman?
Say she's lesbian and shethinks she's lesbian.
You meet her and then she haskids.
Like do you feel like if shedidn't do it the way that it's
supposed to be done?
But what is she?
Kids before.
I have kids.
What is that?
Yes, but then you meet her andshe's like I love me.
Then you end up talking to her.
(11:07):
She's like I have kids, butthat's after, in fact.
So do you care about whathappened before?
If she changed, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I love me, I love kids.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I love kids.
Yeah, she said I got a babydaddy, but we not together.
I'm gay now, like what you like?
I don't know, bitch, that'smine.
Yeah, okay, that's a trauma man.
Why, the fuck, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
You ever said that Well, y'all, I'm asking, I'm
asking, I'm just askingquestions.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I'm just listening, I'm asking questions, but if you
want outside, then want to knowif there's people that I don't
know.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
You were in there.
You were in there.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I don't know.
I've been told I'm dominant butI act too manly.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I feel like a woman shouldn'tsay that she's gay if she has
kids.
So I feel like a womanshouldn't say that she's gay if
she has kids.
So I feel like, even though,like I was saying earlier, if
you have a 16-year-old butdepending on what she said, what
(12:08):
he do to you, what happened orwhatever you decide, like
getting hurt or this isn't it,and you feel like with the woman
, it's, it's better.
Like you, everything is there.
So what they missing andfucking up on this thing, like
when you were there, and that's,that's where it's at.
So that's where I'm saying I'mgoing to sustain, that's what I
really like.
(12:32):
But some people feel like, no,no, that's not what it is.
If you've ever had a baby, orthis isn't it.
You gotta basically have nokids to be gay or to like women
or be a lesbian.
I think that's.
Another question is, with yougot, with you being how you are,
have your parents, what?
When did y'all have that talklike I want grandbabies.
So you gotta do somethingdifferent or something gotta
happen, but I'm gonnagrandbabies.
I need some grandbabies.
They may test you in this yearof life.
I'm trying to figure out how tovirgin marry.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I'm a parent already.
So I thought about having myown, but I'm getting old baby.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
There's still hope.
I mean, I'm the youngest ofseven.
Well, you can't be the youngestof seven, I'm the baby.
I think my parents, they arethe grandpapiers, those loaded
boys about them.
Covid, I've had conversationswith my people.
You know like I do and I alwayssay you know what I mean Heavy
(13:26):
on the shotgun.
Babies, Grandkids are going tocome.
I don't know how soon myparents are older.
You know what I mean, but Ipray and hope that you know that
it's not amazing.
You know, like it's a shot ofnothing dead on the body.
That's great.
I want a whole football team.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I love the babies.
Last question, before we getout of here, though so when
you're dating, if you decide todate someone, if she, when you
date her, if she is, she don'thave nothing going for her.
Like she don't have money, she,you know how to just be about
the money.
Like, basically, if you're withher, you basically will be
taking care of her and you canbe doing everything in a
relationship.
Like she's just one of thoselike do this, do this.
(14:07):
So you believe, like if you'reat the bottom or you wouldn't be
socked off for someone that'snot where you are, I'm not
coming.
You got to be where I'm at oryou ain't know, we get in the
mud together.
That's what I was supposed tomake.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
That's who I'm holding this match to try, and
you know like she's workingtowards it.
Because every day I get up, getto you situations.
I've been in situations where Ifelt like I had to be the
backbone and I had to be likethe, the, the caregiver and the
caregiver and the relationship.
That is not a good feeling.
Constantly pouring this tosomebody else and you're not
(14:41):
your cup, this isn't.
You know what I mean.
It's not a great feeling at all.
It's not.
I feel like I give, I, I get alittle leniency.
I just got to see the effortthere.
I don't see any effort there.
I don't expect, like I thinkyou asked a question where, like
, do they have to be right thenwith you?
You know, depending on what youdo, you know you might be here,
(15:02):
your partner might be here.
You know what I mean.
But you know a balance, it hasto be balanced.
That's just the main thing forme as a tourist.
I would love for a woman tojust meet me there emotionally.
You know everything don't haveto be financially.
You know what I mean.
But you gotta pour it into mycup.
That was the wake-up call, likeyou know, like I had to really,
(15:25):
like it was really, it wasreally hard.
It was really hard on mementally waking up in the
morning and she's still asleep,and you calling and she's still
asleep.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Like I didn't do something, Something.
I'm not coming at it as a cismentality, but just, you know,
meet me half fucking way.
You know, that's all I ask for.
You know, and I feel like a lotof women come in that situation
and get with a masculine womanwith a cis mentality.
We are not men.
You know what I mean.
(16:01):
I truly believe in 50-50 too.
Or if your partner don't have a50, you know what I mean.
Or if they a little off fromlike a hundred or some shit.
You know like we can make itwork, like I had a conversation
with my friend, like if mysalary is this and like my, my
partner's salary five or ten kless, who's gonna pick up the
little slack?
You know what I mean by this,but this person's still
(16:22):
contributing.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
So it's like I've dealt withthat and I was stupid.
You know, because sometimestauraurus is like damn, like I
love this woman, like I want tohold on to her because I see the
beauty that she holds and shedon't see it herself, and it
becomes like soul crushing toyou.
Yeah, but I can't justconstantly hear you, you know,
telling me ah yeah, I can't dothis.
(16:43):
I can't do that, I can't dothis, but when I first got with
you, you had all these differenthobbies yeah, all these
different things that can beprofitable.
You know what I'm saying.
You can pick up that cameraanytime you want, you know, and
make some money.
You got to also be able tomarket yourself.
You can't be like.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I don't have a client base.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
But you've been hosting nothing on social media.
You got yourself out there.
You know what I'm saying.
So it's like it's bad.
I feel like people got to getout of the victim mindset.
Go to therapy.
I got a friend that I speak toand she constantly says that
we're all doing the best that wecan, especially in this moment
(17:28):
in time.
So that don't like to everyone,but you know what you know.
You know you will know, deepdown inside You're really like
getting up every day.
You're like, ok, like I did putmy best foot forward today, you
know, but you know everybody isdoing the best that they can.
Everybody is moving with theinformation that they have.
You know what I mean.
It's up to you whether you wantto sit down to be knowledgeable
(17:50):
or you want to be a sponge orsoak up of things that you don't
know about.
You know what I mean.
It's all up to you.
Brother, ball isn't real quick.
That my sister, you know, shoutout to you danny.
That is like a second mother tome and I was like um, when I
was a bit young I was like danny, like I pray for this, that
this, why isn't thou working?
She was like girl, becauseyou're not, you're not, you're
not, you're not praying to, tobe able to hold and understand
(18:15):
what you have and pray and keepit.
You know what I mean and why.
So you'd be like I want this, Iwant that, I want this, I want
that.
Nah, we gotta switch it up abit.
How can I hold on to this, howcan I maintain it?
And you know, like we gottafigure out how we can move.
And also, I feel like, for,like for the masculine women, or
just women in general, we needto.
I feel like, if I can givepeople a recommendation, we're
(18:37):
tapping to Bell Hooks, you know.
Tapping to Audre Lorde, youknow you will get some good
lunch skills and all that goodstuff in there.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yeah, open up a book.
Y'all had a lot to say.
I know y'all didn't heard a Earpull.
Until next time, take carey'all.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You're the mix with the one and only Celebrity, dj
Kornbread, aka the Empress.
Hey, I'm the big man.
This is the largest Fashionshow of the podcast.
Say I'm the biggest.
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