July 24, 2025 • 30 mins
A sitcom that portrays the everyday life of a typical American family, focusing on the father's guidance and wisdom. The show combines humor with moral lessons.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Now there is Naxville House, the best coffee in the
whole world.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Yes, it's father knows best.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
Transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young's father. A half hour
visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by
Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more
people than any other brand of coffee at any price.
Maxwell House always good to the last drop.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Some three hundred.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Years ago, it was said in Rochester by an earl
of the same name, tis a very good world if
we live in to lend or to spend, or to
give in, but to beg or to borrow or get
a man's own, it's the very worst world that ever
was known. Well, three hundred years haven't changed this much
in Rochester or Springfield. Borrowing is still a popular pastime
(01:20):
with a large portion.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Of our citizen rate. Not our old friend Jim Anderson, however,
he is definitely opposed to borrowing, and he.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Comes right out and says so in a few thousand
well chosen words like this.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
The Phillips have a waffle iron. Why did they have
to borrow ours?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Because Helen had a bridge luncheon and she served waffles
and she wanted to make more than one.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
At a time.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Helen, that lame brain, Jim, Please, well, there isn't anybody here.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And if I can't find everybody, Good morning, dear Jim,
I've told you so many times you.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Didn't hear me. Morning Yerdy, Good morning, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Drink your orange deuce. Dear that have some nice hot
waffles soon as Bud gets back with the wolf liron.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
Okay, Janny, who's the lame brain? Well?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
We were just May I have some coffee? Margaret?
Speaker 6 (02:15):
Of course?
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Dear, in which pocket?
Speaker 7 (02:18):
Would you just let me have a cup of coffee?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Please?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
All right, there you are, thank you, Janny?
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Yes, study.
Speaker 7 (02:31):
What time is it?
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Hey?
Speaker 7 (02:34):
Hurry say you'd better hurry up, Kathy.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
You'll be late for school on Saturday.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Oh it's saturday, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Don't you want to tell me?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Tell you what? Kittens?
Speaker 6 (02:47):
M I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Well, and it couldn't have been very important?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Could She wanted to know who was the lame brain?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
That's what it was, Paddy.
Speaker 8 (02:59):
Why can't you ever good morning mother?
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Good morning, dear hi father?
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Isn't this a beautiful day.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
It might have been.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
Why now, will you tell me?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Tell you what?
Speaker 6 (03:11):
Who was a lame brain?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I didn't say anybody was a lame brain. I said
that Hector Smith fell down the stairs and got a
bad sprain. That's what I said, wasn't it, Margaret?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
I wonder what can be keeping Bud. I told him
to come right back.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
You see, that's what I said. He sprained his back.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
He dear, Why, father, I was right there in the
hall talking to Jannie on the phone, and.
Speaker 7 (03:37):
You said that nobody asked you what I said?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
And why isn't you have to grab the phone the
second you get out of bed?
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Jim? You told her to call Janie.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I did when last night? Well, what did you have
to say?
Speaker 6 (03:53):
She said? She loaned it to Grace Russell?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
She loaned what to Grace Russell?
Speaker 6 (03:58):
My bracelet? That's what she told me to call her about.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Oh, well, what right does she have to lend your
things to other people?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
She said, she didn't think I'd mind, and she had
to borrow Grace's class pin for the Eastern prom.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Doesn't Janie have a class pin?
Speaker 6 (04:13):
Well?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Sure, but she loaned it to me in exchange for
my bracelet.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
It's perfectly simple, father.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
You know, when I was a boy, people didn't borrow
things that belonged to other people. If they didn't have
a class pin, they went without one.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
What Father I gave Jane.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Isn't the question of what you gave or what you've got.
You have no right to parade a round and things
that don't belong to you. What if you lose Janie's.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Pins, I'll get her another one.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
And what if Grace loses your bracelet?
Speaker 5 (04:47):
She can't?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Why not?
Speaker 6 (04:50):
She loaned it to Mary and Swift?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Tommy, I'm hungry just a minute, dear Betty, your father's right.
Why don't you and Janey get together with the other
girls and straighten everything out?
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And from now on we're only the things that belong
to you.
Speaker 6 (05:09):
But father, how gone?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Oh that's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
I got the waffle iron.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
Hooray we eat and it's about time.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
I couldn't help it.
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Dad, Joe Phillips didn't want to let me take it.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
He what he said.
Speaker 9 (05:25):
He was going to hold it for security until I
gave him back his algebra book.
Speaker 8 (05:30):
Margaret, what's gotten into this family?
Speaker 7 (05:32):
I haven't got his algebra book.
Speaker 10 (05:34):
Dad.
Speaker 7 (05:34):
I gave it.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Back to him.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Let me have the waffle iron, Dear, we can talk
about it.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
What happened to the chord?
Speaker 7 (05:41):
The chord?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
But a waffle irons no good without a chord. Where
is it?
Speaker 7 (05:46):
Joe's holding it for security?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
You know when I get up in the morning, the
sun is shining and the birds are singing.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Jim, there's no need to be melodramatic. There's another chord
in the basement.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
You want me to get it death, No, you stay
where you are.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
You're liable to borrow somebody's I teeth on the way down.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
What would I do that for, Jim?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I'll get it myself.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
It's on the shelf at the foot of the stairs, Dear.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I know where it is.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
I couldn't help it.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I told him we needed it.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
We ever bracelets and algebra books. Anybody think we never
bought anything. They ought to see the bills that come
into this place spend money like a bunch of drunken sailors. Heathy,
you want me, kay, whose bicycle is this? What I said?
Whose bicycle come to the top of the stairs?
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Spent half my life shouting in the other half looking
for things.
Speaker 8 (06:49):
Get this place of creudded up to the junk.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Whose bicycle is this? And how did the handlebar get broken?
Speaker 6 (06:56):
I didn't there any Oh that bicycle, whose is it?
Patty Davis's?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
How did it get down here?
Speaker 6 (07:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I suppose it walked in all by itself and broke
its own handlebar. He dear, Pathy, I'm trying very hard
to be patient. Did you borrow Patty's bicycle?
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Oh? I barred it, but I didn't put it down here.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
What's the matter with your bicycle?
Speaker 8 (07:23):
It's got a flat tire, So you borrowed.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Patties, broke the handlebar and hit it down here?
Speaker 6 (07:29):
No it didn't, Daddy. Maybe it'd frown the window and
broke it back.
Speaker 9 (07:34):
And then picked itself up and leaned against the wall.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Maybe he bounced up, Kathleen, I will not stamp for
any more of your wild stories. How did this bicycle
get down in the basement?
Speaker 5 (07:46):
I don't know, Jim.
Speaker 8 (07:48):
Margaret, I'm trying to find a cord.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
I just remembered, Dear, I loaned to Lucille.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Half away.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Right, all right, Kathy, go upstairs. She was Margaret, Patty
Davis's bicycle is down there with a broken handlebar. Kathy
says she doesn't know anything about it.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
Well, I don't.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
If she says she doesn't, Jim, then she does.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
But she borrowed it.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
She admits that I borrowed it, but I didn't put
it down in the basement.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Jim, I'm sure if you speak to an.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
I'm going to speak to the children first. They've gotten
into a very bad habit, and I'm going to stop
it before it goes any further.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Well, can't you wait until after breakfast?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Walk breakfast? Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Well, how about a nice armor that won't take long?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Fine, And in the meantime, I'll talk to the children.
Speaker 6 (08:41):
I just as soon wait until after breakfast.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I'll bet you would.
Speaker 7 (08:47):
Betty Good want me to run down to missus Hathaway's.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Mom, No, dear, We're going to have an omelet and
a little talk.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Father. I don't know why you have to get so upset.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Nobody else mind, I don't care about anybody else, but
every body borrows.
Speaker 7 (09:01):
Look at England.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You look at England.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
My economics teacher said, the whole system of world.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Mind about world enterprise.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
We're starting a new system from now on.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Nobody in this family borrows or lends anything. Is that clear, Bud? Yes, Dad,
I want you to go into the.
Speaker 8 (09:28):
Den and take every book out of the bookcase.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
You mean, now, now you're going to find Joe's algebra
book before you do anything else.
Speaker 7 (09:35):
You mean, I can't even eat breakfast.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
We'll call you when breakfast is ready.
Speaker 8 (09:39):
Now, go ahead, Holy call Betty.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yes, get Jennie on the phone and tell her what
I said. You'll get that whole mass traightened out. But father,
or maybe you'd rather go without dates for the next month.
Speaker 11 (09:51):
Junthan creepers always fuss about world here, Kathy, Yes, Daddy,
I want you to get a piece of paper and
a pencil, and right, I will not borrow or lend one.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Thousand times a thousand gin one thousand. I'll go into
the living room and get started.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
You mean one thousand by one?
Speaker 5 (10:18):
Dear, that'll take her the entire weekend.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Good, it'll keep her out of trouble.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
But I didn't take the bicycle in the basement.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
We'll discuss that later. Go ahead, Kathy, she was a
thousand times Jim, Honey, this is a major problem and
we can't cope with it any other way. Borrowing is
a very bad habit.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
You know that, of course, dear.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
But the second, Honey, i'd better see who was at
the door. I wanted to keep looking for that book.
I'll get it, bud. Okay, there have you gotten, Jeniya?
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Not yet?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Father, they're calling your don't forget what I said.
Speaker 8 (10:54):
Yes, Father, get this family straightened.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Out of It's the last thing I do. Oh heck,
hi you, Jim, come on in. What are you doing
up so early?
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Oh? Got some things to.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Do at your breakfast? Yet? Oh?
Speaker 7 (11:08):
Sure, say Jim, you know that pump sprayer you've been using?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I mean you want it? Well?
Speaker 10 (11:13):
You see, I got to set out a whole bunch
of tomato plants.
Speaker 8 (11:16):
Hello, Janey, Daddy, let's go into the living room.
Speaker 10 (11:20):
Look, I gotta get those plants put in. If I
pull it around here all morning, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Tell you something.
Speaker 10 (11:26):
Well, I don't want you to tell me anything. Just
give me the sprayer and let me go home.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
But that's what I want to tell you.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
They will.
Speaker 8 (11:34):
I've just gone through a thing with my kids about.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Not sending things.
Speaker 6 (11:37):
To twenty four?
Speaker 8 (11:40):
Oh how are you doing, Kathy?
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Daddy? Can I do it? By fives.
Speaker 8 (11:46):
Just keep writing and we'll discuss it later.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
How's your bath, mister Smith? Your bath yet?
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Out of the dining leg I don't want to go
into the dining room.
Speaker 10 (12:03):
All I want is.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
The sprayer, Hector.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
I'm trying to explain when you come into the dining
room with me.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Please, I don't know.
Speaker 10 (12:11):
I ask you a perfectly simple little thing.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Isn't simple? Heck? An hour ago it would have been,
but not now. I just finished a big speech about Bud.
What are you doing in the dining room.
Speaker 7 (12:22):
I didn't have any place to put the books in
the den, and so I'm bringing them in here.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Well, take them back into the den.
Speaker 7 (12:28):
I haven't found the algebra book yet, Jim.
Speaker 10 (12:31):
Are you gonna give me the sprayer?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Or aren't you? Heck, let's go out into the kitchen.
No what heck, Bud, go back to the den.
Speaker 7 (12:40):
But I good grief, Jim.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
If you don't want to give it to me, say so,
but stop dragging me all over the house.
Speaker 8 (12:49):
I wasn't I'm merely trying to expire.
Speaker 10 (12:52):
You're gonna give me the sprayer?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Look, let's go out into the garage.
Speaker 10 (12:59):
Josh, I'm sure?
Speaker 8 (13:00):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Or no?
Speaker 8 (13:02):
When you put it that way, Heck, I've got to
say no, you see, I do.
Speaker 10 (13:05):
Okay, okay, if that's the way it's going to be,
that tick.
Speaker 8 (13:08):
But heck, I'm just waiting till you want to borrow
something from me again.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I'll just wake if you'll only listen to me. Heck,
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
I can get into the worst jams.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
What is it, dear? Is anything wrong?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Everything's wrong? Hector wanted to borrow the sprayer. I couldn't
lend it to him in front of the kids.
Speaker 8 (13:28):
Why not, Margaret, I just got through giving them that
long lecture about not borrowing or lending.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
I know, dear, but the sprayer belongs to Hector.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Well, I this is oh father's campaign against borrowing was
pretty much of a mistake. Still in old ladies, there
are many things about which the man of the house
never makes a mistake. And that's especially proof of coffee.
For your husband is the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes,
that man you married is an authority on truly good coffee. Now,
(14:16):
it's a fact that more people buy and enjoy Maxwell
House coffee than any other brand, and that kind of
makes us experts too. But when you brew the coffee
for that man of yours, why he's the only expert
you listen to. And tomorrow, if you'll fill his cup
with Maxwell House, we're certain you'll see your husband's biggest
(14:37):
smile and hear him say.
Speaker 8 (14:39):
Now that's what I call good coffee.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Yes, that's what you hear. In fact, we'll return your
money if you don't. The point is, no coffee tastes
like Maxwell House, because no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
That grand good to the last drop flavor can come
only from one recipe, a recipe that demands so certain
choice coffee is blended just so, and that recipe belongs
(15:04):
to Maxwell House alone. That's why I say, serve your
husband our Maxwell House.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
If he doesn't say best coffee ever, well.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Simply send us the can an unused portion, and we'll
gladly give you back every penny you paid. Our address
is right on every familiar blue tin. Tomorrow, then put
it up to your coffee expert. Let your husband enjoy
our Maxwell House coffee, always good to the last drop.
(15:43):
It's an hour later in the white frame house on
Maple Street, and breakfast is a thing of the past,
not so however, is father's dilemma. What do you say
to a friend to whom you've refused the loan of
his own sprayer?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It's quite a problem, isn't it like this? Look, Hector?
After all, we're only human. I mean people make mistakes.
Speaker 8 (16:03):
And uh, Hector, why not let bygones be bygones? You
forget about the sprayer and I'll forget?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Well, what have I got to forget?
Speaker 9 (16:14):
Dad?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
I am in the den, Bud. I don't want to bust.
Speaker 7 (16:17):
In on anything, Dad. But where is he?
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Who?
Speaker 7 (16:23):
Mister Smith?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
How do I know?
Speaker 7 (16:26):
Weren't you just talking to him?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
But would I be talking to someone if he wasn't here?
Speaker 7 (16:31):
Well, somebody was talking to somebody.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
But did you want to see me about something?
Speaker 7 (16:38):
Oh? You know what Joe's algebra book was? His mother
was using it.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Ellen Phillips was using an algebra.
Speaker 7 (16:46):
Book to press flowers.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Oh, I just wondered.
Speaker 7 (16:52):
I told you I gave it back to him.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I'm sorry, Bud, I apologized very humbly. That's okay. Try
to be a little patient with me today.
Speaker 8 (17:00):
I'm in a spot with mister Smith, and I don't
know what to do about it.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
Want to talk it over?
Speaker 10 (17:05):
With me, you know, man, the man?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
All right, son, you know what happened? You mean about despair?
Speaker 8 (17:13):
Yes, what would you do in a case like that?
Speaker 7 (17:17):
Well, give it back to.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Him, naturally, I'm going to give it back to him.
But what am I going to say?
Speaker 7 (17:26):
Why don't we sneak it into his garage and tell
him it was there all the time?
Speaker 3 (17:32):
But that isn't honest.
Speaker 7 (17:33):
Oh you want it to be honest, of course, And
what's the problem. All you have to do is tell
him the truth?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
But it sounds so ridiculous.
Speaker 7 (17:46):
Well what difference does that make? You Always tell us
and nobody can get mad at you if you tell
them the truth.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Don't you? Thank you? Boy?
Speaker 7 (17:55):
Well that's what you told me when I mean it
very sincerely.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Sometimes father gets all tangled up and forgets. It's nice
when he has a son who remembers.
Speaker 7 (18:05):
What did I do?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Now? You got me headed down the.
Speaker 8 (18:09):
Right road, that's all I'll call mister Smith right now.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
Betty got all straightened out with a girlfriend. That's fine,
except Maryan Swift loan the bracelet to her sister and
she went me back for two weeks.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Then how could they straighten it out?
Speaker 7 (18:24):
Maryan's gonna lend Betty some Marians that belong to her sister.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
But that's exactly what. Oh, hello, heck, yeah, this is
Jim Anderson.
Speaker 10 (18:36):
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Heck, I want to apologize. I've had that sprayer in
my garage so long. I thought it belonged to me.
That's so well I thought. I know, Heck it's yours.
I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I apologize. What more
can I say? Wow? Heck, we've been friends for too
many years to let a thing like this come between us,
(18:59):
haven't we. Well, shucks, I didn't care about the old
sprayer in the first place. If you need it, just
keep it. Oh no, heck, it's your sprayer. I'll dump
it in the back of the car and bring it
right over Dad. Oh you don't have to do that, Jim.
Speaker 10 (19:13):
My car is right out in front. It won't take
me two minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I put you to enough trouble, Pal, You stay right
where you are, and I'll bring this prayer over to you. Dan.
Speaker 10 (19:21):
Well, if you're sure it won't be any trouble, of
course not.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I'll have it there, Dan, just a minute. Heck, but
what's the matter with you?
Speaker 7 (19:28):
Mom had to go shopping, so she and Betty took
the car.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Oh well, heck, hed you.
Speaker 8 (19:36):
If you're sure it won't be any trouble, why don't
you drive over.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
And pick it up.
Speaker 10 (19:43):
Yeah, I'll be right over.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Okay, Pal, I'll be waiting for you.
Speaker 10 (19:50):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Suppose you run out to the garage and get the sprayer.
Speaker 8 (19:55):
Then we'll be ready for mister Smith when he gets you.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Okay, it's hanging on a hook right next to the workbench.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Find it.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Well, I guess that takes care of that.
Speaker 12 (20:04):
Not borrow borland two hundred and sixty three, I will not.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
How are you doing kidding?
Speaker 6 (20:17):
Oh daddy, my fingers heard.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Well, why don't you stop.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
For a while, Roy, I sure learned a lesson.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
That was the general idea, wasn't it.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
Do you know it takes twice as long to make
a bee as an all.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
That's what you learn.
Speaker 6 (20:38):
And if I don't dot the I or make a period,
I save almost a whole second.
Speaker 8 (20:43):
You didn't learn anything about not borrowing or lending.
Speaker 6 (20:47):
But I didn't put the bicycle in the basement, daddy, honest,
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Kathy, what am I going to do with you?
Speaker 7 (20:55):
I was just about to tell you to stop there.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
What the van is gone?
Speaker 6 (21:00):
What can't be?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
It was hanging right on the hook.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
But it isn't, Dad, it's gone.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Now What am I going to do? They'll never believe that.
I but go next door to the Davis says, I
think mister Davis borrowed it.
Speaker 7 (21:12):
But if you won't give it to me, you'll have
to give it to you.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Tell him it isn't.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Mine, okay, Dan, Kathy, Yes, Daddy.
Speaker 8 (21:19):
Do you see what happens when you borrow things?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
It's nothing but trouble.
Speaker 6 (21:22):
How many times do you have to ride it?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
We'll go into that later.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Anyway. I didn't get into trouble when I borrowed Patty's bicycle.
I got into trouble when I didn't borrow.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
It, Kathy. Bicycles do not float into basements all by themselves.
Speaker 8 (21:42):
And if you persist in, tell him, oh my gosh,
he couldn't have it.
Speaker 6 (21:46):
Who couldn't have what?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Mister Davis just bought a brand new spray or he
wouldn't have to borrow mine? I mean, mister Smith's. Kathy,
did you did?
Speaker 6 (21:54):
I what?
Speaker 3 (21:55):
George Phillips, That's who it was. Kathy run across the
street to mister Phillips and tell him I've got to
have that Sprayer back immediately.
Speaker 6 (22:03):
Who's gonna write I will not borrow.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Or Land, I'll write it for you. But tell mister Phillips,
I've got to have the sprayer.
Speaker 6 (22:10):
Okay, Daddy, tell him.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I'll explain the whole thing as soon as I I
can't be Hector. I talked to him two minutes ago.
Speaker 8 (22:18):
Hector, Hi, Jim, what did you do fly over?
Speaker 6 (22:21):
Well?
Speaker 10 (22:21):
I told you my car was right out in front.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Some matter nothing. Go ahead, Kathy and tell mister Phillips
what I told you.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
Yes, Daddy, I'll tell him that you told me to
tell him. Not. I wanted to tell you.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Bye, Kathy, goodbye.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Well how have you been, Hector? Smatter kids?
Speaker 10 (22:48):
You've been working too hard?
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Of course not.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I was just how would you like a glass of lemonade?
Speaker 10 (22:55):
I don't want any lemonade.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
Just give me the Sprayers lemonade you ever tasted in
your life.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Come on back to the kitchen, Jim. I got all
those tomato plants laid out, and I get we don't
take half a minute.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
Heck, this is the greatest lemonade you ever tasted in
your life.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
It's got a certain well I've had a lot of
lemonade in my time, but nothing like this. Okay, I'll
buy a glass.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
What a sense of human you know, That's what I
like about you.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Heck, always ready to laugh and smile him all I
want you to do. There we are, Well, go ahead, Heck,
drink it down. Okay, here's looking at you. Happy days. Hey,
it's not bad.
Speaker 7 (23:39):
It's just like lemonade.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
What did I tell you?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
How about another glass? Heck, just give me the sprayer
and let me go home, go whine. You've got to
have another glass.
Speaker 10 (23:51):
Jim, please, Dad.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
Mister David says he has his own spare.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
That's fine, Bud. There you are.
Speaker 9 (23:56):
Heck, happy days, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yea a happy day.
Speaker 7 (24:01):
And he says, if you're through with this cultivated, can
he please.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Have it back? I don't have his cultivator.
Speaker 7 (24:08):
He says, you borrowed it last October.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I gave it back to him the next Wait a minute, now,
I remember I was taking it over there and George
Phillips borrowed it from me. Jim, Bud, go over to
mister Phillips and tell him that mister Davis needs his cultivator.
Speaker 8 (24:21):
But he said that, Jim, heck, how about another glass
of lemonade?
Speaker 10 (24:24):
I don't want any lemonade? Did you get a kitten?
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Philip said he doesn't have it. Oh no, and he says,
can he please have his hold back because it belongs
to mister Waddy.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Jim, heck, yeah, have a glass of lemonade?
Speaker 10 (24:49):
Jim? What's going on here?
Speaker 6 (24:50):
First?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I get pushed all over the house.
Speaker 10 (24:52):
And now I can't get anything but lemonade?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Do you want another glass? No?
Speaker 10 (24:58):
All I want is my prayer?
Speaker 6 (25:00):
How about mister Woodi's hall?
Speaker 7 (25:02):
Shall I take it over to mister Phillips and get
mister Davis's cultivator?
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I don't know. Heck, Jim, Well, we're in the kitchen, Honey.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Ask Bud to give us a hand with these bundles.
Speaker 10 (25:12):
I'll be right in.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
Mom, hurry up before I drop them.
Speaker 7 (25:16):
Hang on, I'm coming.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Go ahead, Kathy, you can help too.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Don't you want me to get mister Woodies hall? No?
Speaker 10 (25:23):
Oh, Jim, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder whether.
Speaker 5 (25:28):
Victor, what are you doing over here?
Speaker 10 (25:30):
What am I doing? I'm drinking lemonade?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well that's a fine thing, Elizabeth said, you were going
to set out all those tomato plans.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Honey, Look, Margaret, don't you think I'm having enough trouble?
Speaker 8 (25:46):
Hector, I can explain the whole thing up to a point.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
All I want is my spray. That's all I want.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Why Victor, Betty and I dropped it off at your
host on our way to the market.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Oh no, you know, when you buy coffee this weekend,
(26:26):
there's only one way to get the most for your money,
and that's to choose.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
The coffee with the most flavor.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Now, your grocer carries one coffee, our Maxwell House that's
famous above all others for flavor. And you'll know why
first time you serve Maxwell House to the world's greatest
coffee expert, your husband. Yes, ma'am, when he beams and
says best coffee ever, you know it's Maxwell House for flavor.
(26:54):
Then just make a note of all the truly good
cups of coffee you get from each pound. You'll find
that penny for penny, Maxwell House is today's coffee. Buy
so tomorrow for the most in flavor for your money.
Take home the familiar blue tin with a big white
cup and drop that's Maxwell House coffee, always good to
(27:17):
the last drop.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Now it's dinner.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Time and the Anderson household and everything is pretty much
under control, considering, of course, that it's the Anderson's like this,
May I have my coffee please?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Of course, Dear eppel Davis was simply horrified when I
told her about Patty's bicycle.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Patty broke it herself, and she hit it in our basement.
What'd she do that for? So she wouldn't get spanked?
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That's great.
Speaker 7 (27:49):
After you had to ride, I will not borrow.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
Oh, I didn't mind. I learned a lot. And anyway,
Daddy gave me a quarter.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Margaret, you are dear, Thank you father.
Speaker 6 (28:02):
The girls finally got everything all straightened out.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Good.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
We're just going to keep the things we've.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Got fine, say, I meant to tell you about this. Look, honey,
here's a new booklet on highway safety, and it's full
of the most amazing things. Listen to this. More than
half of the pedestrians killed by motor vehicles last year
were either violating a traffic law or committing an unsafe act.
What do you think of that?
Speaker 5 (28:27):
I think it's awful.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
And listen to this. Nearly nine thousand pedestrians were killed
in motor vehicle accidents. In nineteen fifty an average of
twenty four pedestrian deaths a day. How horrible, and most
of them were killed by crossing streets between intersections. That's
the most dangerous pedestrian act there is.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Jim, where did you get that book?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Or I bought it from? May I have the cream
and sugar? Please?
Speaker 9 (28:59):
Yes either, dear, thank you, hurry hurry hutry, step right
(29:22):
up today for a brand new crinkles candy kissed rice.
It's twice as nice crinkles, the sensational new sugar coated
rice Cereal. Yes, sir, the whole family. Don't have a
circus eating crinkles because candy kissed rice is twice as nice.
Just at milk or cream and eat no sugar needed.
Crinkles are a quick energy treat for snack time too.
(29:42):
Crinkles then us post Cereal, get candy kissed Rice crinkles
today at your grocer.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Jar us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows That starring Robert Young is Jim Anderson, but
Roy Bargie the Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast where
Ted Donaldson is Bot Tune, Whitley, Rhoda Williams, Norma G. Nilson,
Herb Bigron, and yours truly, Bill Forman. So until next Thursday,
good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House,
(30:13):
America's favorite brand of cork, Always good to the last drop,
Father Knows Best, was transcribed in Hollywood and written by
Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows
immediately over most of these stations.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
For more good times, stay tuned for Dragnet on NBC
Now there is Naxville House, the best coffee in the
whole world.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Yes, it's father knows best.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
Transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young's father. A half hour
visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by
Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more
people than any other brand of coffee at any price.
Maxwell House always good to the last drop.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Some three hundred.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Years ago, it was said in Rochester by an earl
of the same name, tis a very good world if
we live in to lend or to spend, or to
give in, but to beg or to borrow or get
a man's own, it's the very worst world that ever
was known. Well, three hundred years haven't changed this much
in Rochester or Springfield. Borrowing is still a popular pastime
(01:20):
with a large portion.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Of our citizen rate. Not our old friend Jim Anderson, however,
he is definitely opposed to borrowing, and he.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Comes right out and says so in a few thousand
well chosen words like this.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
The Phillips have a waffle iron. Why did they have
to borrow ours?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Because Helen had a bridge luncheon and she served waffles
and she wanted to make more than one.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
At a time.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Helen, that lame brain, Jim, Please, well, there isn't anybody here.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And if I can't find everybody, Good morning, dear Jim,
I've told you so many times you.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Didn't hear me. Morning Yerdy, Good morning, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Drink your orange deuce. Dear that have some nice hot
waffles soon as Bud gets back with the wolf liron.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
Okay, Janny, who's the lame brain? Well?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
We were just May I have some coffee? Margaret?
Speaker 6 (02:15):
Of course?
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Dear, in which pocket?
Speaker 7 (02:18):
Would you just let me have a cup of coffee?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Please?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
All right, there you are, thank you, Janny?
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Yes, study.
Speaker 7 (02:31):
What time is it?
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Hey?
Speaker 7 (02:34):
Hurry say you'd better hurry up, Kathy.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
You'll be late for school on Saturday.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Oh it's saturday, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Don't you want to tell me?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Tell you what? Kittens?
Speaker 6 (02:47):
M I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Well, and it couldn't have been very important?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Could She wanted to know who was the lame brain?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
That's what it was, Paddy.
Speaker 8 (02:59):
Why can't you ever good morning mother?
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Good morning, dear hi father?
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Isn't this a beautiful day.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
It might have been.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
Why now, will you tell me?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Tell you what?
Speaker 6 (03:11):
Who was a lame brain?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I didn't say anybody was a lame brain. I said
that Hector Smith fell down the stairs and got a
bad sprain. That's what I said, wasn't it, Margaret?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
I wonder what can be keeping Bud. I told him
to come right back.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
You see, that's what I said. He sprained his back.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
He dear, Why, father, I was right there in the
hall talking to Jannie on the phone, and.
Speaker 7 (03:37):
You said that nobody asked you what I said?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
And why isn't you have to grab the phone the
second you get out of bed?
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Jim? You told her to call Janie.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I did when last night? Well, what did you have
to say?
Speaker 6 (03:53):
She said? She loaned it to Grace Russell?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
She loaned what to Grace Russell?
Speaker 6 (03:58):
My bracelet? That's what she told me to call her about.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Oh, well, what right does she have to lend your
things to other people?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
She said, she didn't think I'd mind, and she had
to borrow Grace's class pin for the Eastern prom.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Doesn't Janie have a class pin?
Speaker 6 (04:13):
Well?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Sure, but she loaned it to me in exchange for
my bracelet.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
It's perfectly simple, father.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
You know, when I was a boy, people didn't borrow
things that belonged to other people. If they didn't have
a class pin, they went without one.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
What Father I gave Jane.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Isn't the question of what you gave or what you've got.
You have no right to parade a round and things
that don't belong to you. What if you lose Janie's.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Pins, I'll get her another one.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
And what if Grace loses your bracelet?
Speaker 5 (04:47):
She can't?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Why not?
Speaker 6 (04:50):
She loaned it to Mary and Swift?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Tommy, I'm hungry just a minute, dear Betty, your father's right.
Why don't you and Janey get together with the other
girls and straighten everything out?
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And from now on we're only the things that belong
to you.
Speaker 6 (05:09):
But father, how gone?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Oh that's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
I got the waffle iron.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
Hooray we eat and it's about time.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
I couldn't help it.
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Dad, Joe Phillips didn't want to let me take it.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
He what he said.
Speaker 9 (05:25):
He was going to hold it for security until I
gave him back his algebra book.
Speaker 8 (05:30):
Margaret, what's gotten into this family?
Speaker 7 (05:32):
I haven't got his algebra book.
Speaker 10 (05:34):
Dad.
Speaker 7 (05:34):
I gave it.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Back to him.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Let me have the waffle iron, Dear, we can talk
about it.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
What happened to the chord?
Speaker 7 (05:41):
The chord?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
But a waffle irons no good without a chord. Where
is it?
Speaker 7 (05:46):
Joe's holding it for security?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
You know when I get up in the morning, the
sun is shining and the birds are singing.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Jim, there's no need to be melodramatic. There's another chord
in the basement.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
You want me to get it death, No, you stay
where you are.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
You're liable to borrow somebody's I teeth on the way down.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
What would I do that for, Jim?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I'll get it myself.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
It's on the shelf at the foot of the stairs, Dear.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I know where it is.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
I couldn't help it.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I told him we needed it.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
We ever bracelets and algebra books. Anybody think we never
bought anything. They ought to see the bills that come
into this place spend money like a bunch of drunken sailors. Heathy,
you want me, kay, whose bicycle is this? What I said?
Whose bicycle come to the top of the stairs?
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Spent half my life shouting in the other half looking
for things.
Speaker 8 (06:49):
Get this place of creudded up to the junk.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Whose bicycle is this? And how did the handlebar get broken?
Speaker 6 (06:56):
I didn't there any Oh that bicycle, whose is it?
Patty Davis's?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
How did it get down here?
Speaker 6 (07:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I suppose it walked in all by itself and broke
its own handlebar. He dear, Pathy, I'm trying very hard
to be patient. Did you borrow Patty's bicycle?
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Oh? I barred it, but I didn't put it down here.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
What's the matter with your bicycle?
Speaker 8 (07:23):
It's got a flat tire, So you borrowed.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Patties, broke the handlebar and hit it down here?
Speaker 6 (07:29):
No it didn't, Daddy. Maybe it'd frown the window and
broke it back.
Speaker 9 (07:34):
And then picked itself up and leaned against the wall.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Maybe he bounced up, Kathleen, I will not stamp for
any more of your wild stories. How did this bicycle
get down in the basement?
Speaker 5 (07:46):
I don't know, Jim.
Speaker 8 (07:48):
Margaret, I'm trying to find a cord.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
I just remembered, Dear, I loaned to Lucille.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Half away.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Right, all right, Kathy, go upstairs. She was Margaret, Patty
Davis's bicycle is down there with a broken handlebar. Kathy
says she doesn't know anything about it.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
Well, I don't.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
If she says she doesn't, Jim, then she does.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
But she borrowed it.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
She admits that I borrowed it, but I didn't put
it down in the basement.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Jim, I'm sure if you speak to an.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
I'm going to speak to the children first. They've gotten
into a very bad habit, and I'm going to stop
it before it goes any further.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Well, can't you wait until after breakfast?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Walk breakfast? Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Well, how about a nice armor that won't take long?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Fine, And in the meantime, I'll talk to the children.
Speaker 6 (08:41):
I just as soon wait until after breakfast.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I'll bet you would.
Speaker 7 (08:47):
Betty Good want me to run down to missus Hathaway's.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Mom, No, dear, We're going to have an omelet and
a little talk.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Father. I don't know why you have to get so upset.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Nobody else mind, I don't care about anybody else, but
every body borrows.
Speaker 7 (09:01):
Look at England.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You look at England.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
My economics teacher said, the whole system of world.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Mind about world enterprise.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
We're starting a new system from now on.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Nobody in this family borrows or lends anything. Is that clear, Bud? Yes, Dad,
I want you to go into the.
Speaker 8 (09:28):
Den and take every book out of the bookcase.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
You mean, now, now you're going to find Joe's algebra
book before you do anything else.
Speaker 7 (09:35):
You mean, I can't even eat breakfast.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
We'll call you when breakfast is ready.
Speaker 8 (09:39):
Now, go ahead, Holy call Betty.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yes, get Jennie on the phone and tell her what
I said. You'll get that whole mass traightened out. But father,
or maybe you'd rather go without dates for the next month.
Speaker 11 (09:51):
Junthan creepers always fuss about world here, Kathy, Yes, Daddy,
I want you to get a piece of paper and
a pencil, and right, I will not borrow or lend one.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Thousand times a thousand gin one thousand. I'll go into
the living room and get started.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
You mean one thousand by one?
Speaker 5 (10:18):
Dear, that'll take her the entire weekend.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Good, it'll keep her out of trouble.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
But I didn't take the bicycle in the basement.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
We'll discuss that later. Go ahead, Kathy, she was a
thousand times Jim, Honey, this is a major problem and
we can't cope with it any other way. Borrowing is
a very bad habit.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
You know that, of course, dear.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
But the second, Honey, i'd better see who was at
the door. I wanted to keep looking for that book.
I'll get it, bud. Okay, there have you gotten, Jeniya?
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Not yet?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Father, they're calling your don't forget what I said.
Speaker 8 (10:54):
Yes, Father, get this family straightened.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Out of It's the last thing I do. Oh heck,
hi you, Jim, come on in. What are you doing
up so early?
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Oh? Got some things to.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Do at your breakfast? Yet? Oh?
Speaker 7 (11:08):
Sure, say Jim, you know that pump sprayer you've been using?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I mean you want it? Well?
Speaker 10 (11:13):
You see, I got to set out a whole bunch
of tomato plants.
Speaker 8 (11:16):
Hello, Janey, Daddy, let's go into the living room.
Speaker 10 (11:20):
Look, I gotta get those plants put in. If I
pull it around here all morning, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Tell you something.
Speaker 10 (11:26):
Well, I don't want you to tell me anything. Just
give me the sprayer and let me go home.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
But that's what I want to tell you.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
They will.
Speaker 8 (11:34):
I've just gone through a thing with my kids about.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Not sending things.
Speaker 6 (11:37):
To twenty four?
Speaker 8 (11:40):
Oh how are you doing, Kathy?
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Daddy? Can I do it? By fives.
Speaker 8 (11:46):
Just keep writing and we'll discuss it later.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
How's your bath, mister Smith? Your bath yet?
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Out of the dining leg I don't want to go
into the dining room.
Speaker 10 (12:03):
All I want is.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
The sprayer, Hector.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
I'm trying to explain when you come into the dining
room with me.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Please, I don't know.
Speaker 10 (12:11):
I ask you a perfectly simple little thing.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Isn't simple? Heck? An hour ago it would have been,
but not now. I just finished a big speech about Bud.
What are you doing in the dining room.
Speaker 7 (12:22):
I didn't have any place to put the books in
the den, and so I'm bringing them in here.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Well, take them back into the den.
Speaker 7 (12:28):
I haven't found the algebra book yet, Jim.
Speaker 10 (12:31):
Are you gonna give me the sprayer?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Or aren't you? Heck, let's go out into the kitchen.
No what heck, Bud, go back to the den.
Speaker 7 (12:40):
But I good grief, Jim.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
If you don't want to give it to me, say so,
but stop dragging me all over the house.
Speaker 8 (12:49):
I wasn't I'm merely trying to expire.
Speaker 10 (12:52):
You're gonna give me the sprayer?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Look, let's go out into the garage.
Speaker 10 (12:59):
Josh, I'm sure?
Speaker 8 (13:00):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Or no?
Speaker 8 (13:02):
When you put it that way, Heck, I've got to
say no, you see, I do.
Speaker 10 (13:05):
Okay, okay, if that's the way it's going to be,
that tick.
Speaker 8 (13:08):
But heck, I'm just waiting till you want to borrow
something from me again.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I'll just wake if you'll only listen to me. Heck,
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
I can get into the worst jams.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
What is it, dear? Is anything wrong?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Everything's wrong? Hector wanted to borrow the sprayer. I couldn't
lend it to him in front of the kids.
Speaker 8 (13:28):
Why not, Margaret, I just got through giving them that
long lecture about not borrowing or lending.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
I know, dear, but the sprayer belongs to Hector.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Well, I this is oh father's campaign against borrowing was
pretty much of a mistake. Still in old ladies, there
are many things about which the man of the house
never makes a mistake. And that's especially proof of coffee.
For your husband is the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes,
that man you married is an authority on truly good coffee. Now,
(14:16):
it's a fact that more people buy and enjoy Maxwell
House coffee than any other brand, and that kind of
makes us experts too. But when you brew the coffee
for that man of yours, why he's the only expert
you listen to. And tomorrow, if you'll fill his cup
with Maxwell House, we're certain you'll see your husband's biggest
(14:37):
smile and hear him say.
Speaker 8 (14:39):
Now that's what I call good coffee.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Yes, that's what you hear. In fact, we'll return your
money if you don't. The point is, no coffee tastes
like Maxwell House, because no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
That grand good to the last drop flavor can come
only from one recipe, a recipe that demands so certain
choice coffee is blended just so, and that recipe belongs
(15:04):
to Maxwell House alone. That's why I say, serve your
husband our Maxwell House.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
If he doesn't say best coffee ever, well.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Simply send us the can an unused portion, and we'll
gladly give you back every penny you paid. Our address
is right on every familiar blue tin. Tomorrow, then put
it up to your coffee expert. Let your husband enjoy
our Maxwell House coffee, always good to the last drop.
(15:43):
It's an hour later in the white frame house on
Maple Street, and breakfast is a thing of the past,
not so however, is father's dilemma. What do you say
to a friend to whom you've refused the loan of
his own sprayer?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It's quite a problem, isn't it like this? Look, Hector?
After all, we're only human. I mean people make mistakes.
Speaker 8 (16:03):
And uh, Hector, why not let bygones be bygones? You
forget about the sprayer and I'll forget?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Well, what have I got to forget?
Speaker 9 (16:14):
Dad?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
I am in the den, Bud. I don't want to bust.
Speaker 7 (16:17):
In on anything, Dad. But where is he?
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Who?
Speaker 7 (16:23):
Mister Smith?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
How do I know?
Speaker 7 (16:26):
Weren't you just talking to him?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
But would I be talking to someone if he wasn't here?
Speaker 7 (16:31):
Well, somebody was talking to somebody.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
But did you want to see me about something?
Speaker 7 (16:38):
Oh? You know what Joe's algebra book was? His mother
was using it.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Ellen Phillips was using an algebra.
Speaker 7 (16:46):
Book to press flowers.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Oh, I just wondered.
Speaker 7 (16:52):
I told you I gave it back to him.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I'm sorry, Bud, I apologized very humbly. That's okay. Try
to be a little patient with me today.
Speaker 8 (17:00):
I'm in a spot with mister Smith, and I don't
know what to do about it.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
Want to talk it over?
Speaker 10 (17:05):
With me, you know, man, the man?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
All right, son, you know what happened? You mean about despair?
Speaker 8 (17:13):
Yes, what would you do in a case like that?
Speaker 7 (17:17):
Well, give it back to.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Him, naturally, I'm going to give it back to him.
But what am I going to say?
Speaker 7 (17:26):
Why don't we sneak it into his garage and tell
him it was there all the time?
Speaker 3 (17:32):
But that isn't honest.
Speaker 7 (17:33):
Oh you want it to be honest, of course, And
what's the problem. All you have to do is tell
him the truth?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
But it sounds so ridiculous.
Speaker 7 (17:46):
Well what difference does that make? You Always tell us
and nobody can get mad at you if you tell
them the truth.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Don't you? Thank you? Boy?
Speaker 7 (17:55):
Well that's what you told me when I mean it
very sincerely.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Sometimes father gets all tangled up and forgets. It's nice
when he has a son who remembers.
Speaker 7 (18:05):
What did I do?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Now? You got me headed down the.
Speaker 8 (18:09):
Right road, that's all I'll call mister Smith right now.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
Betty got all straightened out with a girlfriend. That's fine,
except Maryan Swift loan the bracelet to her sister and
she went me back for two weeks.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Then how could they straighten it out?
Speaker 7 (18:24):
Maryan's gonna lend Betty some Marians that belong to her sister.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
But that's exactly what. Oh, hello, heck, yeah, this is
Jim Anderson.
Speaker 10 (18:36):
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Heck, I want to apologize. I've had that sprayer in
my garage so long. I thought it belonged to me.
That's so well I thought. I know, Heck it's yours.
I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I apologize. What more
can I say? Wow? Heck, we've been friends for too
many years to let a thing like this come between us,
(18:59):
haven't we. Well, shucks, I didn't care about the old
sprayer in the first place. If you need it, just
keep it. Oh no, heck, it's your sprayer. I'll dump
it in the back of the car and bring it
right over Dad. Oh you don't have to do that, Jim.
Speaker 10 (19:13):
My car is right out in front. It won't take
me two minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I put you to enough trouble, Pal, You stay right
where you are, and I'll bring this prayer over to you. Dan.
Speaker 10 (19:21):
Well, if you're sure it won't be any trouble, of
course not.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I'll have it there, Dan, just a minute. Heck, but
what's the matter with you?
Speaker 7 (19:28):
Mom had to go shopping, so she and Betty took
the car.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Oh well, heck, hed you.
Speaker 8 (19:36):
If you're sure it won't be any trouble, why don't
you drive over.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
And pick it up.
Speaker 10 (19:43):
Yeah, I'll be right over.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Okay, Pal, I'll be waiting for you.
Speaker 10 (19:50):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Suppose you run out to the garage and get the sprayer.
Speaker 8 (19:55):
Then we'll be ready for mister Smith when he gets you.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Okay, it's hanging on a hook right next to the workbench.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Find it.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Well, I guess that takes care of that.
Speaker 12 (20:04):
Not borrow borland two hundred and sixty three, I will not.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
How are you doing kidding?
Speaker 6 (20:17):
Oh daddy, my fingers heard.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Well, why don't you stop.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
For a while, Roy, I sure learned a lesson.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
That was the general idea, wasn't it.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
Do you know it takes twice as long to make
a bee as an all.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
That's what you learn.
Speaker 6 (20:38):
And if I don't dot the I or make a period,
I save almost a whole second.
Speaker 8 (20:43):
You didn't learn anything about not borrowing or lending.
Speaker 6 (20:47):
But I didn't put the bicycle in the basement, daddy, honest,
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Kathy, what am I going to do with you?
Speaker 7 (20:55):
I was just about to tell you to stop there.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
What the van is gone?
Speaker 6 (21:00):
What can't be?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
It was hanging right on the hook.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
But it isn't, Dad, it's gone.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Now What am I going to do? They'll never believe that.
I but go next door to the Davis says, I
think mister Davis borrowed it.
Speaker 7 (21:12):
But if you won't give it to me, you'll have
to give it to you.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Tell him it isn't.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Mine, okay, Dan, Kathy, Yes, Daddy.
Speaker 8 (21:19):
Do you see what happens when you borrow things?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
It's nothing but trouble.
Speaker 6 (21:22):
How many times do you have to ride it?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
We'll go into that later.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Anyway. I didn't get into trouble when I borrowed Patty's bicycle.
I got into trouble when I didn't borrow.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
It, Kathy. Bicycles do not float into basements all by themselves.
Speaker 8 (21:42):
And if you persist in, tell him, oh my gosh,
he couldn't have it.
Speaker 6 (21:46):
Who couldn't have what?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Mister Davis just bought a brand new spray or he
wouldn't have to borrow mine? I mean, mister Smith's. Kathy,
did you did?
Speaker 6 (21:54):
I what?
Speaker 3 (21:55):
George Phillips, That's who it was. Kathy run across the
street to mister Phillips and tell him I've got to
have that Sprayer back immediately.
Speaker 6 (22:03):
Who's gonna write I will not borrow.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Or Land, I'll write it for you. But tell mister Phillips,
I've got to have the sprayer.
Speaker 6 (22:10):
Okay, Daddy, tell him.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I'll explain the whole thing as soon as I I
can't be Hector. I talked to him two minutes ago.
Speaker 8 (22:18):
Hector, Hi, Jim, what did you do fly over?
Speaker 6 (22:21):
Well?
Speaker 10 (22:21):
I told you my car was right out in front.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Some matter nothing. Go ahead, Kathy and tell mister Phillips
what I told you.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
Yes, Daddy, I'll tell him that you told me to
tell him. Not. I wanted to tell you.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Bye, Kathy, goodbye.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Well how have you been, Hector? Smatter kids?
Speaker 10 (22:48):
You've been working too hard?
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Of course not.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I was just how would you like a glass of lemonade?
Speaker 10 (22:55):
I don't want any lemonade.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
Just give me the Sprayers lemonade you ever tasted in
your life.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Come on back to the kitchen, Jim. I got all
those tomato plants laid out, and I get we don't
take half a minute.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
Heck, this is the greatest lemonade you ever tasted in
your life.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
It's got a certain well I've had a lot of
lemonade in my time, but nothing like this. Okay, I'll
buy a glass.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
What a sense of human you know, That's what I
like about you.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Heck, always ready to laugh and smile him all I
want you to do. There we are, Well, go ahead, Heck,
drink it down. Okay, here's looking at you. Happy days. Hey,
it's not bad.
Speaker 7 (23:39):
It's just like lemonade.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
What did I tell you?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
How about another glass? Heck, just give me the sprayer
and let me go home, go whine. You've got to
have another glass.
Speaker 10 (23:51):
Jim, please, Dad.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
Mister David says he has his own spare.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
That's fine, Bud. There you are.
Speaker 9 (23:56):
Heck, happy days, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yea a happy day.
Speaker 7 (24:01):
And he says, if you're through with this cultivated, can
he please.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Have it back? I don't have his cultivator.
Speaker 7 (24:08):
He says, you borrowed it last October.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I gave it back to him the next Wait a minute, now,
I remember I was taking it over there and George
Phillips borrowed it from me. Jim, Bud, go over to
mister Phillips and tell him that mister Davis needs his cultivator.
Speaker 8 (24:21):
But he said that, Jim, heck, how about another glass
of lemonade?
Speaker 10 (24:24):
I don't want any lemonade? Did you get a kitten?
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Philip said he doesn't have it. Oh no, and he says,
can he please have his hold back because it belongs
to mister Waddy.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Jim, heck, yeah, have a glass of lemonade?
Speaker 10 (24:49):
Jim? What's going on here?
Speaker 6 (24:50):
First?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I get pushed all over the house.
Speaker 10 (24:52):
And now I can't get anything but lemonade?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Do you want another glass? No?
Speaker 10 (24:58):
All I want is my prayer?
Speaker 6 (25:00):
How about mister Woodi's hall?
Speaker 7 (25:02):
Shall I take it over to mister Phillips and get
mister Davis's cultivator?
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I don't know. Heck, Jim, Well, we're in the kitchen, Honey.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Ask Bud to give us a hand with these bundles.
Speaker 10 (25:12):
I'll be right in.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
Mom, hurry up before I drop them.
Speaker 7 (25:16):
Hang on, I'm coming.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Go ahead, Kathy, you can help too.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Don't you want me to get mister Woodies hall? No?
Speaker 10 (25:23):
Oh, Jim, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder whether.
Speaker 5 (25:28):
Victor, what are you doing over here?
Speaker 10 (25:30):
What am I doing? I'm drinking lemonade?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well that's a fine thing, Elizabeth said, you were going
to set out all those tomato plans.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Honey, Look, Margaret, don't you think I'm having enough trouble?
Speaker 8 (25:46):
Hector, I can explain the whole thing up to a point.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
All I want is my spray. That's all I want.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Why Victor, Betty and I dropped it off at your
host on our way to the market.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Oh no, you know, when you buy coffee this weekend,
(26:26):
there's only one way to get the most for your money,
and that's to choose.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
The coffee with the most flavor.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Now, your grocer carries one coffee, our Maxwell House that's
famous above all others for flavor. And you'll know why
first time you serve Maxwell House to the world's greatest
coffee expert, your husband. Yes, ma'am, when he beams and
says best coffee ever, you know it's Maxwell House for flavor.
(26:54):
Then just make a note of all the truly good
cups of coffee you get from each pound. You'll find
that penny for penny, Maxwell House is today's coffee. Buy
so tomorrow for the most in flavor for your money.
Take home the familiar blue tin with a big white
cup and drop that's Maxwell House coffee, always good to
(27:17):
the last drop.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Now it's dinner.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Time and the Anderson household and everything is pretty much
under control, considering, of course, that it's the Anderson's like this,
May I have my coffee please?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Of course, Dear eppel Davis was simply horrified when I
told her about Patty's bicycle.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Patty broke it herself, and she hit it in our basement.
What'd she do that for? So she wouldn't get spanked?
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That's great.
Speaker 7 (27:49):
After you had to ride, I will not borrow.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
Oh, I didn't mind. I learned a lot. And anyway,
Daddy gave me a quarter.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Margaret, you are dear, Thank you father.
Speaker 6 (28:02):
The girls finally got everything all straightened out.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Good.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
We're just going to keep the things we've.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Got fine, say, I meant to tell you about this. Look, honey,
here's a new booklet on highway safety, and it's full
of the most amazing things. Listen to this. More than
half of the pedestrians killed by motor vehicles last year
were either violating a traffic law or committing an unsafe act.
What do you think of that?
Speaker 5 (28:27):
I think it's awful.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
And listen to this. Nearly nine thousand pedestrians were killed
in motor vehicle accidents. In nineteen fifty an average of
twenty four pedestrian deaths a day. How horrible, and most
of them were killed by crossing streets between intersections. That's
the most dangerous pedestrian act there is.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Jim, where did you get that book?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Or I bought it from? May I have the cream
and sugar? Please?
Speaker 9 (28:59):
Yes either, dear, thank you, hurry hurry hutry, step right
(29:22):
up today for a brand new crinkles candy kissed rice.
It's twice as nice crinkles, the sensational new sugar coated
rice Cereal. Yes, sir, the whole family. Don't have a
circus eating crinkles because candy kissed rice is twice as nice.
Just at milk or cream and eat no sugar needed.
Crinkles are a quick energy treat for snack time too.
(29:42):
Crinkles then us post Cereal, get candy kissed Rice crinkles
today at your grocer.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Jar us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows That starring Robert Young is Jim Anderson, but
Roy Bargie the Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast where
Ted Donaldson is Bot Tune, Whitley, Rhoda Williams, Norma G. Nilson,
Herb Bigron, and yours truly, Bill Forman. So until next Thursday,
good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House,
(30:13):
America's favorite brand of cork, Always good to the last drop,
Father Knows Best, was transcribed in Hollywood and written by
Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows
immediately over most of these stations.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
For more good times, stay tuned for Dragnet on NBC
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