August 7, 2025 • 29 mins
A sitcom that portrays the everyday life of a typical American family, focusing on the father's guidance and wisdom. The show combines humor with moral lessons.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Mother is Nxwell House Reeling the only coffee in the world.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yes, it's father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert
Young his father. A half hour visit with your neighbors,
the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House,
the coffee that's always good to the last drop. We
(00:47):
once knew a man who was extremely wealthy, and he
had a wonderful system for acquiring money, which we think
will interest you. He was up every morning at six
work fourteen hours a day, seven days.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
A week, for all moost twenty years.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And then when he was only forty five years of age,
his uncle died and left him three million dollars.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
It wasn't nice, of course.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
A thing like that would never happen to our friendsy Anderson's,
but it almost did, Yes, sir, they came awfully close
to being the richest family in Springfield like this, I know, Frank,
but I don't care what Gribble says.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Look, Frank Van.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Norton's willing to give us the land, and if the
committee isn't willing to take.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
It, Okay, Frank okay.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And you can tell Gribble for me that he's nothing
but a pig headed old goat. He's nothing but a
self centered, stubborn old jackass.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
That's what he is.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Is something wrong there, oh, that Gribble. He's killing the
whole deal I worked out for the playground.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Jim, I wish you wouldn't take it so much to heart.
After all, it isn't your responsibility.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Well that isn't the point.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I talked Van Norton into giving ten acres of land
for the playground, giving it, mind you, and Gribble won't even.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Take it, says there must be something wrong with it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But can't you tell the rest of the commitment.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Margaret, I have told him. I've told them until I'm
blue in the face.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Well maybe if you talk to mister Gribble.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Again, Rebel, How when you talk to a lunatic, all
you have to do is mention the name Van Norton
and his nose lights up like a pinball machine.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I still say, you've done everything you could.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Well, I'm not licked yet.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I may not have as much money as Gribble, but
I've got a lot more sense.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Of course you have, Dear, I suppose you think I haven't.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Jim, there's no point in arguing with me.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Well, there isn't anybody else around argue with.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
All right, dear, if it makes you feel any better?
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Hello, father, Hello father, Hello Miss Hepburn, Betty Benny.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If you're going to start spouting poetry, I'm warning you
right now.
Speaker 7 (02:46):
Isn't this the.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Most beautiful day you've ever seen?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Beautiful? It's snowing?
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Snow, Darling. I think you've picked a very bad time.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Blogging to earth like feathers from an.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Angel's Margaret and exactly won Betty.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think you'd better go up to your moon. But
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
You deliberately disobeyed me.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I told you I was in no mood for any
of that hogwash, father, and that's all it is.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Hogwash.
Speaker 8 (03:14):
Oh, I'm too happy to argue if you say it's hogwash,
it's hogwash.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Well, I'm glad somebody's happy around here.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Mother.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Do you know where I'm going next Friday?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
No, Dear, to see a picture with Van Johnson.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Who's Van Johnson?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
He's a Hollywood star?
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Dear, Oh that one?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Do you mean he's taking Betty to the movies? F Well,
you just.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Said, he's in the picture.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I'm going with Tady Lawson.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Oh who's he?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
He's a new one, dear, and a very nice boy.
He's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Now I know what they mean by nine day wonders
Betty's boyfriends.
Speaker 9 (04:01):
I mean they though, Hi, everybody, what's cooking?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Oh Jim?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Now what is it?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Why does everybody have to be so happy?
Speaker 7 (04:10):
Boy? Will you hear what we're gonna do?
Speaker 9 (04:11):
Hello, Bud, Joe Phillips and I bought a half interest
in a corn popper.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
And we're gonna clean up. Hello, Bud.
Speaker 9 (04:17):
We're gonna set up a stand outside the movies and
sell popcorn to all the kids. How's that for an idea, Bud?
And all we have to boy, I said, hello, Oh,
hi Dan, And all we have to do is find
someplace to plug it in?
Speaker 7 (04:31):
Plug?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
What in? Dear?
Speaker 9 (04:33):
The corn popper?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
What corn popper?
Speaker 9 (04:35):
The one I bought with Joe Phillips. You see, we
bought a half interest in a corner.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Don't you know when you're being kidded?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
The corn popper?
Speaker 9 (04:45):
What corn popper?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Oh? No, oh god, I.
Speaker 9 (04:50):
Don't say anything funny about our corn popper?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
All I all right, Budd? Just forget the whole thing.
Speaker 9 (04:57):
But I can't. I have to supply the sal.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Oh, dear, Now why I was elected?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Oh, mommy, I was elected.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Well if it isn't William Jennings, Bryan, Kathleen.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
How many times have I told.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You, Daddy, I was elected?
Speaker 7 (05:15):
Isn't it?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
What?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
All right?
Speaker 7 (05:17):
Now?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Just calm down, take it easy. I was elected? What
were you elected?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I'm the treasurer.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
They had an election, and I'm the treasurer.
Speaker 10 (05:28):
The treasurer, see Kathy, but not the first day?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Take it easy.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Well, I was just think, Margaret, do you know what
this is all about?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Well, of course, dear Kathy was elected treasurer.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Margaret of what my club?
Speaker 11 (05:52):
Daddy?
Speaker 1 (05:53):
The little Vultures?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
The little who vulture.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It's a kind of bird, and I'm the treasurer.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Wait a minute, where did you ever dig up a
name like that?
Speaker 9 (06:08):
Well, Mama, I gotta go come back here.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Holy were you the one who cooked up this delightful
little tag for Kathy's club?
Speaker 9 (06:19):
Oh gosh, Dad, they said they wanted some kind of
a bird's name, And well have you ever watched them?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
We like it, daddy. We even made but an honorary.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Voult couldn't have happened to a nicer boy.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Never mind, daddy, I'll get it.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
The little vultures. Leave it to my children. Hello, oh hello, Hector?
What well, thank you very much. Oh sure, I'm the
luckiest guy in town. Sure, okay, heck, I'll be seeing it. Congratulations.
(07:03):
There ever was a guy who needed congratulations less?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Who was it?
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Jim?
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Hector Smith?
Speaker 3 (07:07):
He wants to extend his heartiest congratulations?
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Isn't that nice about what?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Dear?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
He didn't say?
Speaker 7 (07:17):
Maybe he heard about me.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
He's known about you for years, and believe that isn't
what he meant.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
Jim, I won't be able to sleep a wink all night?
Why don't I call Elizabeth back?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Well, I guess you won't have to.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Maybe this time, our dear friend Hector let us all
in on the joke. So hello, Heck, oh George, I'm
sorry George. You see, Heck called me a minute ago,
and I thought, well, thank you, George, But I don't
know what George. No, we're not having any celebration.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
We don't even know George. Hello George? Oh fine, was
it Hector? No, it was George Phillips, and he's very
happy for us.
Speaker 12 (08:00):
What on earth.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Do you suppose it means?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
I don't know, but if those guys are having a
good time at our expense, I'll get it.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
You stay where you are.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
I'll find out what this is about if it takes
all night, and if that's the kind of friends I've got.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Hello, Hello, Jim, it was the front door.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Get a man so mixed up he doesn't know what
bell is ringing. After a while, I'll probably hear bell's
when nothing's ringing.
Speaker 9 (08:24):
Yes, mister Anderson, yes bell.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
My name is Ford, Richard Ford of the legal firm
of Magonica, Bristol and Finch.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Oh, well, come.
Speaker 7 (08:34):
In, mister Ford.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Mister Ford, thank you very much.
Speaker 12 (08:38):
Jim.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
If it's the paper boy, tell him I'll pay him
next time.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
It wasn't the paper boy. Honey?
Speaker 7 (08:45):
Is that missus Anderson?
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Yeah, she's in the living room, But.
Speaker 9 (08:48):
Well, why don't we tell her the good news?
Speaker 4 (08:50):
What good news?
Speaker 6 (08:51):
All in good time, mister Anderson, All in good time,
Missus Anderson, I know all the little Anderson.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Honey.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
This is mister Ford of h mcgonago, Bristol and Jean's Attorneys.
Speaker 7 (09:03):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
How do you do?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Sit down? Mister Ford?
Speaker 7 (09:07):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Why don't you kids find something to do someplace?
Speaker 6 (09:11):
Oh no, no, let them stay by all means, After all,
this concerns the entire family, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
What does?
Speaker 7 (09:17):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Indeed, now.
Speaker 9 (09:22):
You are related to Joseph James Anderson.
Speaker 7 (09:25):
Are you know?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
I am not.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
What's that I've never even heard of any Joseph James Anderson.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Well, no, that's very strange. I had it on very
good authority that Robert Bruce Anderson was my father. But
oh I knew I hadn't made a mistake, mister Anderson.
Joseph James Anderson was your father's cousin once removed.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Oh, you mean cousin Joe precisely.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
We haven't heard anything about him for oh thirty years.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Matter of fact, I think he died about twenty years ago,
didn't he.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
No, mister Anderson, Joseph James Anderson passed from this veil
of tears less than a month ago.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
That's impossible.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
While he was over seventy when he decided to run
away from home and go to Arizona.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
He died last week at the age of one hundred
and two.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Whoa you see, my father always said he smoked too much.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
The poor old.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
Coop the pool, old coot.
Speaker 6 (10:24):
You may be interested to know made you his sole heir, Jim, Mother, Elli, Hanah.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Don't get excited if I know, cousin Joe, we've inherited
three barrels of bottle tops.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Many, father, isn't it the most wonderful thing you've ever heard?
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Phones bringing?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Have you ever been so excited my whole life?
Speaker 4 (10:43):
I mean, mister Ford while I answered the phone.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
Now that's quite over.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I help me next summer I'm going to spend my
vacation in a nice quad boiler factor.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Oh hello, mister Gribble. Well, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Now about the Van Norton land, Well, naturally, I advice
about what investments?
Speaker 4 (11:02):
You want my advice?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Well, if you think I'm qualified to, all right, JP
at twelve thirty tomorrow, Yeah, see you that goodbye.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
He wants my.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Advice, Jim, we're waiting for you.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
That was mister Grumble, Honey. He wants me to give
him some advice on his investments.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
But let's talk about it later.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Dear.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Mister Ford wants to tell us about the inheritance. Why
don't you sit.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Down, father, He is a Christian daddy.
Speaker 9 (11:30):
Want me to run out for a cigar.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Dad.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Look, I just finished telling you not to get excited.
I know cousin Joe and he never had a dime
in his whole life.
Speaker 6 (11:40):
Well that may be true, mister Anderson, But if you'll
be good enough to sign this retainer.
Speaker 7 (11:44):
I'll be happy to tell you about the estate.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Well, okay, what is it? Four barrels of bottle tops?
Speaker 6 (11:50):
It's a fifteen thousand acre cattle wrench, mister Randerson, a wrench.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
For fifteen thousand acres with a possible value of nine
million dollars.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Jim father.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
Gosh who.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Holy cow?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
So father's inherited a nine million dollar estate, And mister
Gribble that makes him a financial expert, Well, that remains
to be seen. But there are some things the head
of every family just naturally knows most about, and coffee
heads the list.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
Yes, ladies, when it comes to.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Coffee, wonderfully good coffee you enjoy every time, the world's
greatest expert is your husband. Of course, down the years
we've been rated experts too. More families do enjoy our
Maxwell House coffee.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Than any other brand.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
But when you fill the cups, the final authority is
your husband.
Speaker 11 (13:07):
So here's our promise.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Tomorrow, if you'll fill his cup with Maxwell House, he'll
thank you and say.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Best cup of coffee I ever tasted.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yes, he'll say that, or we'll give you back your money.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
We're that sure.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
You see, no other coffee has that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor. That's because no other coffee has
our famous Maxwell House recipe, a recipe demanding certain fine
coffee's blended.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
A particular way.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
In a word, no coffee tastes like Maxwell House, because
no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
Speaker 7 (13:41):
But don't take my say so.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Tomorrow, start serving Maxwell House to your husband. If he
doesn't say best coffee ever, just send us the can
an unused portion, and we'll gladly rEFInd every penny you pay.
Our address is right on every familiar blue tin. Tomorrow,
then put it up to your expert. Serve your husband
the coffee with the world's most famous flavor. Maxwell House
(14:05):
coffee always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
A week's gone by, and the white frame house on
Maple Street hasn't changed a bit.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
That's the same snow on the front lawn, the same
slippery spot on.
Speaker 11 (14:26):
The porch that Jim's going to fix next Sunday.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Everything's just as it's always been, except for the people.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yes, the Andersons have changed a little, I'm afraid not much,
but a little like this. Oh that's fine, Frank.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Oh sure, well it really wasn't anything, Frank, And that'll
be fine, Frk. Sure Wednesday's as good at night as
any he you bet, Frank, Good night, Frank.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
What did Charlie have to say?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Dear? That was Frank?
Speaker 7 (15:01):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (15:01):
How is George? You're so cute?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It may interest you to know, missus millionaires Anderson, that
your husband is being given a testimonial dinner next Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
No, yeah, Jim, how perfectly wonderful.
Speaker 7 (15:16):
What for?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Why for putting through the playground? That's what for? It's
all signed, sealed and delivered. Jim.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
That is wonderful, boy, What.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
A playground that's going to be.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
You and mister Van Norton have done a wonderful thing
for Springfield, and I'm proud of you both.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
Well you know how it is with us rich men.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Jim, do you know what I'm going to do with
our first million?
Speaker 5 (15:40):
I'm going to buy buds some new socks.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Good for you.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
I have never seen a boy so hard on socks
in my whole life.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Look at this, honey, speaking of millions.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yes, dear, don't be too surprised if cousin Joe's ranch
comes to less than mister Ford said.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I was only joking, dear.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I know, but when he said nine million, that was
only if each acre was a whole unit.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I didn't understand that very well, Jim, what was that
unit business?
Speaker 3 (16:08):
It's very simple, honey, and the cattle country, a unit
is the amount of land required to feed a cow
and her calf for one year.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's the way they figure.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
And that's worth six hundred dollars roughly. Then why do
you say it might be less fifteen thousand times six?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Ndred?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
We aren't sure about the land. Maybe an acre won't
feed a cow and a calf.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
For a year.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It might take two or three, Jim, Really, well it might.
And if it takes three acres to make up a unit,
then each acre is worth only two hundred dollars and
the ranch is worth only a third or three million.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Oh, dear, we just had to get a smaller swimming pool,
that's all.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
It might even take ten acres to make a unit.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Well, Jim, let's not be ridiculous. After all, how much
can a cow when one small calf eat?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
But if it did take ten acres, well that makes
it at sixty dollars an acre, and fifteen thousand, we'd
only have nine hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Wouldn't that be awful?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
You know I've got a good mind.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Please front door open?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
It would bad me.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Mother. We're in the dender.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
What's the matter with you?
Speaker 12 (17:21):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Father?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
You got lipstick on your chin?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I have huh somebody must have bit me.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Creepers. Isn't this a miserable day?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Why bitty, I thought you.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Said snow all it ever does in this town is snow.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Wait a minute, sugar, let's get it out in the open.
What happened?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Oh, it isn't important. I didn't want to go to
the movies anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
So that's what it is?
Speaker 4 (17:46):
What's what?
Speaker 7 (17:47):
What is?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
She had a quarrel with Stanley Lawson. I didn't either.
It's all father's.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Fault, my fault. What did I do?
Speaker 8 (17:56):
He liked me when we were poor, but just because
you had to go and get nine millions.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Wait a minute. In the first place, we weren't exactly poor,
and in the second place.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
We've got the nine million nicely whittled down to practically
nothing you have. It might even be less than one million.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Oh well, what good is that?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
He still won't take me?
Speaker 8 (18:15):
He says he can't afford lows seats. Why, Betty, I
told him I didn't mind, But he says, girls with
nine million dollars always sit in lowsh seats.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Naturally they save a whole row for girls with nine
million dollars. It's the roll right in back of the
girls with ten million dollars.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Jem, Well, this is the silliest thing I've ever heard.
We haven't collected a dime.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
My bank book looks like an undernourished flapjack. And Stanley
Lawson won't go out with my daughter because she's got
nine million dollars.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Betty, don't you think if you explained to him that
nothing has really changed?
Speaker 8 (18:53):
But it has.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Everything's changed?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
But oh dad, not another one.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Is anything wrong?
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Dear let's Joe Phillips, What a pain? He turned out to.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Be something amiss with the popcorn? Tycoons?
Speaker 9 (19:08):
Well, why should I supply all the butter?
Speaker 7 (19:10):
I bought the salt, didn't I?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We were all so happy when we were poor.
Speaker 9 (19:16):
He even had it figured out how many pounds of
buddy you can buy with nine million dollars.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Ay, I'll bet that'll fix all the popcorn from here
to Lowe's Calcutta.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
Bud if you and Betty don't kick these things too seriously,
I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Oh ye, gods, now what.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Why Kathy Darling? What is it?
Speaker 7 (19:38):
They kicked me out of the club?
Speaker 4 (19:43):
Oh a, Margaret, why don't you let me Kathy? Why
did they kick you out of the clubs?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
They won't let me be a little vulture?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Never mind them, sweetheart, No one can keep you from
being a little vulture.
Speaker 12 (20:04):
Kathy?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Does our mythical nine million have anything to do with
your expulsion from the club?
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Uh? Huh? They said it was too suspicious. What was?
Speaker 5 (20:16):
They made me the treasurer and the next day you
had nine million flocks.
Speaker 12 (20:25):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
They said I could.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Never be the treasurer again, that I had to give
back the whole thirteen cents.
Speaker 8 (20:36):
We're outcast, that's what we are, nothing but social outcasts.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Fine, tell us all about it right after you answered
the phone.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
No, damn, wait, Betty, why don't you take Kathy upstairs
and get her clean up.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Okay, come on, blabber face.
Speaker 12 (20:52):
Oh Betty, I was so happy.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Being the treasure buy the phone's ringing?
Speaker 9 (20:58):
Where did you go all of a sudden?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
I got hungry?
Speaker 6 (21:02):
Do you want me to.
Speaker 9 (21:02):
Answer the phone?
Speaker 4 (21:03):
No, never mind.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Either they all answered at once or they let the
darn thing ring for an hour. Well, keep your shirt on,
I'm coming Hello.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Hello, Heck, no, we were just sitting around having fun.
I can't hear you. Heck, sorry about what bad news?
We haven't heard anything about any.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Heck okay, heck sure, if it'll make you happy, I'll
keep the lower lips stiff too.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Thanks for calling.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Heck, goodbye, gloomy character. Sounds like it just got a
good look at the thing. Hector, he heard the sad
news and he's very sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
What sad news? Dear?
Speaker 3 (21:50):
You don't suppose he's the field secretary for the little vultures,
do you?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Every time something happens to Kathy and the vultures?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Heck's on the phone.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
Oh my aching.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Ear, Why don't you let me get it this time?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
No, I'll carry through to the bitter end. Better mousetrap Anderson.
Speaker 7 (22:06):
That's me.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
One more trip to the phone and I get permanent possession. Hello,
hello George, Thank you very much, George.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Goodbye George. This can go on all night.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
What did George want to do?
Speaker 12 (22:22):
Same thing?
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Bad news? Keep a stiff upper lip. fIF fifth tally Hole.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Well, the least you could have done was ask him
what bad news?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
And play straight for those two practical jokers.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Margaret, I'm surprised you've known Heck and George as long
as I have.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
They were both perfectly sincere last time.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Jim say that's right, they were, weren't they.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Maybe I better call him back, Jim.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
This time it's the doorbell.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Thank you very much. Treat him man like he needs
a seeing eyed door opener.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Oh hell, mister Ford, Well we were sort of hoping
we'd hear from you.
Speaker 7 (22:56):
Come on in, Thank you, Thank you? Does he week?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I'll bet you had hot is mister Ford.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
Hello there, missus Anderson, go right into the damnist Ford.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Thank you.
Speaker 7 (23:08):
Eh. This is a comfy little spot, is now.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Why don't you sit at the desk, mister Ford, and
then you can spread out all your papers and things.
Speaker 7 (23:14):
Well, that would be nice.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Let me get a couple of cushions for you.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
Oh no, no, this will be fine.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
It's fine here now, yes, well, first, here's.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
The receipt for your one hundred dollar retaining fee.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
All that.
Speaker 7 (23:27):
It's very important you know all these little details. Eh.
Let me see now, Oh, well the range.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
If you haven't anything else on your mind, Jim, please,
you must.
Speaker 7 (23:38):
Be very anxious, of.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Course, not what do we care for a couple of
million dollars more or less?
Speaker 6 (23:44):
Well, you mean, I'm afraid you're going to be just
a little disappointed. You see when I said nine million.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Mister Ford, how much is it worth?
Speaker 6 (23:53):
Well, you remember what I told you about the unit system,
one cow and one calf for one year. Yes, well,
on your cousin Joe's ranch, it seems that one cow
and one calf need quite a bit of land. How
much twelve hundred acres? Twelve hundred, oh jim, which makes
(24:15):
the value of the land fifty cents an acre?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Oh Jim.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Well that isn't too bad, honey.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
We'll have a ranch to go to every summer, and
all it cost us is one hundred dollars we gave
mister Ford and mister.
Speaker 6 (24:29):
Anderson as your legal advisor. Me, I suggest that you
forget the whole thing.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Forget it.
Speaker 6 (24:35):
Well, you see, the land is only worth seventy five
hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Well, what's wrong with seventy five hundred dollars.
Speaker 6 (24:40):
Well, nothing except that we found a bill for eighty
two hundred and back taxes.
Speaker 12 (24:46):
Oh no.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
This weekend, as you buy coffee for your family, remember this.
Speaker 13 (25:13):
In coffee, just one thing means real value, the flavor
you get for your money. With this in mind, take
home the coffee with the most famous flavor in the world,
our Maxwell House Coffee. Then let the world's greatest coffee
expert enjoy that famous flavor. Yes, serve our Maxwell House
to your husband.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
He's the real authority on coffee. When he smiles and.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Says greatest coffee ever, you'll know Maxwell House has the
flavor for you and your family and for value. Well,
count for yourself all the truly good cups of coffee
you get from every pound. Tomorrow, buy coffee that gives
you your money's worth and more. Look for America's sign
of good coffee, the big white cuff and drop on
(25:58):
the friendly blue tin. That Maxwell House coffee always good
to the last drop. Remember Francois Bion, he was king
for a day.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Remember the Andersons.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
They were millionaires for a whole week, which is nice
work if you can get it anyway. They're back to
normal now, if you can call anything connected with the
Andersons normal, Like this.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Wasn't Jimmy Woody sweet Mommy? Yes, dear, He said he
didn't care what anybody said. If I wasn't a little vulture,
nobody was.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
That's my girl.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Isn't this the most beautiful day you've ever seen?
Speaker 4 (26:43):
She saw Van Johnson?
Speaker 5 (26:44):
Well, she went to the show with Stanley, but I
think that's all she saw Stanley.
Speaker 9 (26:50):
Dad, I got the placall polished up.
Speaker 7 (26:52):
How does it look?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Fine, but just fine?
Speaker 5 (26:55):
Let me see it again, please, Oh, Jim, isn't it beautiful?
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Where do you think we ought to put it? Honey?
Speaker 5 (27:01):
When the day naturally to James Anderson Senior for outstanding
service to the youth of Springfield, isn't that nice?
Speaker 4 (27:10):
You know it's a funny thing, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
But I've got a peculiar feeling that the plaque isn't
all mine.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
What do you mean, dear, Well.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
I wasn't getting anywhere until that silly inheritance came along.
Speaker 12 (27:22):
You know what I'm going to do?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
You're not going to give it back.
Speaker 7 (27:24):
Oh no, no no.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
But down here on the bottom, I'm going to put
a little sticker that says, with one assist from cousin Joel.
Speaker 11 (27:47):
At breakfast time, you don't have to say.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You children eat your cereal right this instance, just say
hop Along Cassidy is crazy about hot wheat meal.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Just a little psychology.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Yes, to get your children to eat a hot se
just tell them post wheatmeal is Hopolon Cassidy's favorite hot
cereal and they.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Eat it too.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Post wheatmeal is chuck full of solid whole wheat nourishment,
has a wonderful nut like flavor, and at cooks in
just three and a half minutes. You'll see you'll all
agree it's the best hot cereal you ever ate.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
Join us again.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Next week, when we'll be back with Father Knows Best,
starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargee and
the Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast for Rhoda Williams
is Betty June Whitley, Ted Donaldson, Norma G. Nielson, Howard McNair,
and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good
night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House
America's favorite brand of coffee, Always Good to the last
(28:46):
drug Father Knows Best, was transcribed in Hollywood and written
by Ed Jane. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which
follows immediately over.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Most of these states m HM.
Speaker 6 (29:08):
Coming up Dragnet, then be sure to hear Counterspy on
NBC
Mother is Nxwell House Reeling the only coffee in the world.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yes, it's father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert
Young his father. A half hour visit with your neighbors,
the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House,
the coffee that's always good to the last drop. We
(00:47):
once knew a man who was extremely wealthy, and he
had a wonderful system for acquiring money, which we think
will interest you. He was up every morning at six
work fourteen hours a day, seven days.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
A week, for all moost twenty years.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And then when he was only forty five years of age,
his uncle died and left him three million dollars.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
It wasn't nice, of course.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
A thing like that would never happen to our friendsy Anderson's,
but it almost did, Yes, sir, they came awfully close
to being the richest family in Springfield like this, I know, Frank,
but I don't care what Gribble says.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Look, Frank Van.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Norton's willing to give us the land, and if the
committee isn't willing to take.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
It, Okay, Frank okay.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And you can tell Gribble for me that he's nothing
but a pig headed old goat. He's nothing but a
self centered, stubborn old jackass.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
That's what he is.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Is something wrong there, oh, that Gribble. He's killing the
whole deal I worked out for the playground.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Jim, I wish you wouldn't take it so much to heart.
After all, it isn't your responsibility.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Well that isn't the point.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I talked Van Norton into giving ten acres of land
for the playground, giving it, mind you, and Gribble won't even.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Take it, says there must be something wrong with it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But can't you tell the rest of the commitment.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Margaret, I have told him. I've told them until I'm
blue in the face.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Well maybe if you talk to mister Gribble.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Again, Rebel, How when you talk to a lunatic, all
you have to do is mention the name Van Norton
and his nose lights up like a pinball machine.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I still say, you've done everything you could.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Well, I'm not licked yet.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I may not have as much money as Gribble, but
I've got a lot more sense.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Of course you have, Dear, I suppose you think I haven't.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Jim, there's no point in arguing with me.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Well, there isn't anybody else around argue with.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
All right, dear, if it makes you feel any better?
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Hello, father, Hello father, Hello Miss Hepburn, Betty Benny.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If you're going to start spouting poetry, I'm warning you
right now.
Speaker 7 (02:46):
Isn't this the.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Most beautiful day you've ever seen?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Beautiful? It's snowing?
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Snow, Darling. I think you've picked a very bad time.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Blogging to earth like feathers from an.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Angel's Margaret and exactly won Betty.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think you'd better go up to your moon. But
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
You deliberately disobeyed me.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I told you I was in no mood for any
of that hogwash, father, and that's all it is.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Hogwash.
Speaker 8 (03:14):
Oh, I'm too happy to argue if you say it's hogwash,
it's hogwash.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Well, I'm glad somebody's happy around here.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Mother.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Do you know where I'm going next Friday?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
No, Dear, to see a picture with Van Johnson.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Who's Van Johnson?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
He's a Hollywood star?
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Dear, Oh that one?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Do you mean he's taking Betty to the movies? F Well,
you just.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Said, he's in the picture.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I'm going with Tady Lawson.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Oh who's he?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
He's a new one, dear, and a very nice boy.
He's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Now I know what they mean by nine day wonders
Betty's boyfriends.
Speaker 9 (04:01):
I mean they though, Hi, everybody, what's cooking?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Oh Jim?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Now what is it?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Why does everybody have to be so happy?
Speaker 7 (04:10):
Boy? Will you hear what we're gonna do?
Speaker 9 (04:11):
Hello, Bud, Joe Phillips and I bought a half interest
in a corn popper.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
And we're gonna clean up. Hello, Bud.
Speaker 9 (04:17):
We're gonna set up a stand outside the movies and
sell popcorn to all the kids. How's that for an idea, Bud?
And all we have to boy, I said, hello, Oh,
hi Dan, And all we have to do is find
someplace to plug it in?
Speaker 7 (04:31):
Plug?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
What in? Dear?
Speaker 9 (04:33):
The corn popper?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
What corn popper?
Speaker 9 (04:35):
The one I bought with Joe Phillips. You see, we
bought a half interest in a corner.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Don't you know when you're being kidded?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
The corn popper?
Speaker 9 (04:45):
What corn popper?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Oh? No, oh god, I.
Speaker 9 (04:50):
Don't say anything funny about our corn popper?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
All I all right, Budd? Just forget the whole thing.
Speaker 9 (04:57):
But I can't. I have to supply the sal.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Oh, dear, Now why I was elected?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Oh, mommy, I was elected.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Well if it isn't William Jennings, Bryan, Kathleen.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
How many times have I told.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You, Daddy, I was elected?
Speaker 7 (05:15):
Isn't it?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
What?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
All right?
Speaker 7 (05:17):
Now?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Just calm down, take it easy. I was elected? What
were you elected?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I'm the treasurer.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
They had an election, and I'm the treasurer.
Speaker 10 (05:28):
The treasurer, see Kathy, but not the first day?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Take it easy.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Well, I was just think, Margaret, do you know what
this is all about?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Well, of course, dear Kathy was elected treasurer.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Margaret of what my club?
Speaker 11 (05:52):
Daddy?
Speaker 1 (05:53):
The little Vultures?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
The little who vulture.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It's a kind of bird, and I'm the treasurer.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Wait a minute, where did you ever dig up a
name like that?
Speaker 9 (06:08):
Well, Mama, I gotta go come back here.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Holy were you the one who cooked up this delightful
little tag for Kathy's club?
Speaker 9 (06:19):
Oh gosh, Dad, they said they wanted some kind of
a bird's name, And well have you ever watched them?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
We like it, daddy. We even made but an honorary.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Voult couldn't have happened to a nicer boy.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Never mind, daddy, I'll get it.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
The little vultures. Leave it to my children. Hello, oh hello, Hector?
What well, thank you very much. Oh sure, I'm the
luckiest guy in town. Sure, okay, heck, I'll be seeing it. Congratulations.
(07:03):
There ever was a guy who needed congratulations less?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Who was it?
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Jim?
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Hector Smith?
Speaker 3 (07:07):
He wants to extend his heartiest congratulations?
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Isn't that nice about what?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Dear?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
He didn't say?
Speaker 7 (07:17):
Maybe he heard about me.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
He's known about you for years, and believe that isn't
what he meant.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
Jim, I won't be able to sleep a wink all night?
Why don't I call Elizabeth back?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Well, I guess you won't have to.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Maybe this time, our dear friend Hector let us all
in on the joke. So hello, Heck, oh George, I'm
sorry George. You see, Heck called me a minute ago,
and I thought, well, thank you, George, But I don't
know what George. No, we're not having any celebration.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
We don't even know George. Hello George? Oh fine, was
it Hector? No, it was George Phillips, and he's very
happy for us.
Speaker 12 (08:00):
What on earth.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Do you suppose it means?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
I don't know, but if those guys are having a
good time at our expense, I'll get it.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
You stay where you are.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
I'll find out what this is about if it takes
all night, and if that's the kind of friends I've got.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Hello, Hello, Jim, it was the front door.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Get a man so mixed up he doesn't know what
bell is ringing. After a while, I'll probably hear bell's
when nothing's ringing.
Speaker 9 (08:24):
Yes, mister Anderson, yes bell.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
My name is Ford, Richard Ford of the legal firm
of Magonica, Bristol and Finch.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Oh, well, come.
Speaker 7 (08:34):
In, mister Ford.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Mister Ford, thank you very much.
Speaker 12 (08:38):
Jim.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
If it's the paper boy, tell him I'll pay him
next time.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
It wasn't the paper boy. Honey?
Speaker 7 (08:45):
Is that missus Anderson?
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Yeah, she's in the living room, But.
Speaker 9 (08:48):
Well, why don't we tell her the good news?
Speaker 4 (08:50):
What good news?
Speaker 6 (08:51):
All in good time, mister Anderson, All in good time,
Missus Anderson, I know all the little Anderson.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Honey.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
This is mister Ford of h mcgonago, Bristol and Jean's Attorneys.
Speaker 7 (09:03):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
How do you do?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Sit down? Mister Ford?
Speaker 7 (09:07):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Why don't you kids find something to do someplace?
Speaker 6 (09:11):
Oh no, no, let them stay by all means, After all,
this concerns the entire family, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
What does?
Speaker 7 (09:17):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Indeed, now.
Speaker 9 (09:22):
You are related to Joseph James Anderson.
Speaker 7 (09:25):
Are you know?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
I am not.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
What's that I've never even heard of any Joseph James Anderson.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Well, no, that's very strange. I had it on very
good authority that Robert Bruce Anderson was my father. But
oh I knew I hadn't made a mistake, mister Anderson.
Joseph James Anderson was your father's cousin once removed.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Oh, you mean cousin Joe precisely.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
We haven't heard anything about him for oh thirty years.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Matter of fact, I think he died about twenty years ago,
didn't he.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
No, mister Anderson, Joseph James Anderson passed from this veil
of tears less than a month ago.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
That's impossible.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
While he was over seventy when he decided to run
away from home and go to Arizona.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
He died last week at the age of one hundred
and two.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Whoa you see, my father always said he smoked too much.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
The poor old.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
Coop the pool, old coot.
Speaker 6 (10:24):
You may be interested to know made you his sole heir, Jim, Mother, Elli, Hanah.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Don't get excited if I know, cousin Joe, we've inherited
three barrels of bottle tops.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Many, father, isn't it the most wonderful thing you've ever heard?
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Phones bringing?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Have you ever been so excited my whole life?
Speaker 4 (10:43):
I mean, mister Ford while I answered the phone.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
Now that's quite over.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I help me next summer I'm going to spend my
vacation in a nice quad boiler factor.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Oh hello, mister Gribble. Well, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Now about the Van Norton land, Well, naturally, I advice
about what investments?
Speaker 4 (11:02):
You want my advice?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Well, if you think I'm qualified to, all right, JP
at twelve thirty tomorrow, Yeah, see you that goodbye.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
He wants my.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Advice, Jim, we're waiting for you.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
That was mister Grumble, Honey. He wants me to give
him some advice on his investments.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
But let's talk about it later.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Dear.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Mister Ford wants to tell us about the inheritance. Why
don't you sit.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Down, father, He is a Christian daddy.
Speaker 9 (11:30):
Want me to run out for a cigar.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Dad.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Look, I just finished telling you not to get excited.
I know cousin Joe and he never had a dime
in his whole life.
Speaker 6 (11:40):
Well that may be true, mister Anderson, But if you'll
be good enough to sign this retainer.
Speaker 7 (11:44):
I'll be happy to tell you about the estate.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Well, okay, what is it? Four barrels of bottle tops?
Speaker 6 (11:50):
It's a fifteen thousand acre cattle wrench, mister Randerson, a wrench.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
For fifteen thousand acres with a possible value of nine
million dollars.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Jim father.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
Gosh who.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Holy cow?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
So father's inherited a nine million dollar estate, And mister
Gribble that makes him a financial expert, Well, that remains
to be seen. But there are some things the head
of every family just naturally knows most about, and coffee
heads the list.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
Yes, ladies, when it comes to.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Coffee, wonderfully good coffee you enjoy every time, the world's
greatest expert is your husband. Of course, down the years
we've been rated experts too. More families do enjoy our
Maxwell House coffee.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Than any other brand.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
But when you fill the cups, the final authority is
your husband.
Speaker 11 (13:07):
So here's our promise.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Tomorrow, if you'll fill his cup with Maxwell House, he'll
thank you and say.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Best cup of coffee I ever tasted.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yes, he'll say that, or we'll give you back your money.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
We're that sure.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
You see, no other coffee has that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor. That's because no other coffee has
our famous Maxwell House recipe, a recipe demanding certain fine
coffee's blended.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
A particular way.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
In a word, no coffee tastes like Maxwell House, because
no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
Speaker 7 (13:41):
But don't take my say so.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Tomorrow, start serving Maxwell House to your husband. If he
doesn't say best coffee ever, just send us the can
an unused portion, and we'll gladly rEFInd every penny you pay.
Our address is right on every familiar blue tin. Tomorrow,
then put it up to your expert. Serve your husband
the coffee with the world's most famous flavor. Maxwell House
(14:05):
coffee always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
A week's gone by, and the white frame house on
Maple Street hasn't changed a bit.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
That's the same snow on the front lawn, the same
slippery spot on.
Speaker 11 (14:26):
The porch that Jim's going to fix next Sunday.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Everything's just as it's always been, except for the people.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yes, the Andersons have changed a little, I'm afraid not much,
but a little like this. Oh that's fine, Frank.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Oh sure, well it really wasn't anything, Frank, And that'll
be fine, Frk. Sure Wednesday's as good at night as
any he you bet, Frank, Good night, Frank.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
What did Charlie have to say?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Dear? That was Frank?
Speaker 7 (15:01):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (15:01):
How is George? You're so cute?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It may interest you to know, missus millionaires Anderson, that
your husband is being given a testimonial dinner next Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
No, yeah, Jim, how perfectly wonderful.
Speaker 7 (15:16):
What for?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Why for putting through the playground? That's what for? It's
all signed, sealed and delivered. Jim.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
That is wonderful, boy, What.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
A playground that's going to be.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
You and mister Van Norton have done a wonderful thing
for Springfield, and I'm proud of you both.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
Well you know how it is with us rich men.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Jim, do you know what I'm going to do with
our first million?
Speaker 5 (15:40):
I'm going to buy buds some new socks.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Good for you.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
I have never seen a boy so hard on socks
in my whole life.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Look at this, honey, speaking of millions.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yes, dear, don't be too surprised if cousin Joe's ranch
comes to less than mister Ford said.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I was only joking, dear.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I know, but when he said nine million, that was
only if each acre was a whole unit.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I didn't understand that very well, Jim, what was that
unit business?
Speaker 3 (16:08):
It's very simple, honey, and the cattle country, a unit
is the amount of land required to feed a cow
and her calf for one year.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's the way they figure.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
And that's worth six hundred dollars roughly. Then why do
you say it might be less fifteen thousand times six?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Ndred?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
We aren't sure about the land. Maybe an acre won't
feed a cow and a calf.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
For a year.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It might take two or three, Jim, Really, well it might.
And if it takes three acres to make up a unit,
then each acre is worth only two hundred dollars and
the ranch is worth only a third or three million.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Oh, dear, we just had to get a smaller swimming pool,
that's all.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
It might even take ten acres to make a unit.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Well, Jim, let's not be ridiculous. After all, how much
can a cow when one small calf eat?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
But if it did take ten acres, well that makes
it at sixty dollars an acre, and fifteen thousand, we'd
only have nine hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Wouldn't that be awful?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
You know I've got a good mind.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Please front door open?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
It would bad me.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Mother. We're in the dender.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
What's the matter with you?
Speaker 12 (17:21):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Father?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
You got lipstick on your chin?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I have huh somebody must have bit me.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Creepers. Isn't this a miserable day?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Why bitty, I thought you.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Said snow all it ever does in this town is snow.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Wait a minute, sugar, let's get it out in the open.
What happened?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Oh, it isn't important. I didn't want to go to
the movies anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
So that's what it is?
Speaker 4 (17:46):
What's what?
Speaker 7 (17:47):
What is?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
She had a quarrel with Stanley Lawson. I didn't either.
It's all father's.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Fault, my fault. What did I do?
Speaker 8 (17:56):
He liked me when we were poor, but just because
you had to go and get nine millions.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Wait a minute. In the first place, we weren't exactly poor,
and in the second place.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
We've got the nine million nicely whittled down to practically
nothing you have. It might even be less than one million.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Oh well, what good is that?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
He still won't take me?
Speaker 8 (18:15):
He says he can't afford lows seats. Why, Betty, I
told him I didn't mind, But he says, girls with
nine million dollars always sit in lowsh seats.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Naturally they save a whole row for girls with nine
million dollars. It's the roll right in back of the
girls with ten million dollars.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Jem, Well, this is the silliest thing I've ever heard.
We haven't collected a dime.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
My bank book looks like an undernourished flapjack. And Stanley
Lawson won't go out with my daughter because she's got
nine million dollars.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Betty, don't you think if you explained to him that
nothing has really changed?
Speaker 8 (18:53):
But it has.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Everything's changed?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
But oh dad, not another one.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Is anything wrong?
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Dear let's Joe Phillips, What a pain? He turned out to.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Be something amiss with the popcorn? Tycoons?
Speaker 9 (19:08):
Well, why should I supply all the butter?
Speaker 7 (19:10):
I bought the salt, didn't I?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We were all so happy when we were poor.
Speaker 9 (19:16):
He even had it figured out how many pounds of
buddy you can buy with nine million dollars.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Ay, I'll bet that'll fix all the popcorn from here
to Lowe's Calcutta.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
Bud if you and Betty don't kick these things too seriously,
I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Oh ye, gods, now what.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Why Kathy Darling? What is it?
Speaker 7 (19:38):
They kicked me out of the club?
Speaker 4 (19:43):
Oh a, Margaret, why don't you let me Kathy? Why
did they kick you out of the clubs?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
They won't let me be a little vulture?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Never mind them, sweetheart, No one can keep you from
being a little vulture.
Speaker 12 (20:04):
Kathy?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Does our mythical nine million have anything to do with
your expulsion from the club?
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Uh? Huh? They said it was too suspicious. What was?
Speaker 5 (20:16):
They made me the treasurer and the next day you
had nine million flocks.
Speaker 12 (20:25):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
They said I could.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Never be the treasurer again, that I had to give
back the whole thirteen cents.
Speaker 8 (20:36):
We're outcast, that's what we are, nothing but social outcasts.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Fine, tell us all about it right after you answered
the phone.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
No, damn, wait, Betty, why don't you take Kathy upstairs
and get her clean up.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Okay, come on, blabber face.
Speaker 12 (20:52):
Oh Betty, I was so happy.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Being the treasure buy the phone's ringing?
Speaker 9 (20:58):
Where did you go all of a sudden?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
I got hungry?
Speaker 6 (21:02):
Do you want me to.
Speaker 9 (21:02):
Answer the phone?
Speaker 4 (21:03):
No, never mind.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Either they all answered at once or they let the
darn thing ring for an hour. Well, keep your shirt on,
I'm coming Hello.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Hello, Heck, no, we were just sitting around having fun.
I can't hear you. Heck, sorry about what bad news?
We haven't heard anything about any.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Heck okay, heck sure, if it'll make you happy, I'll
keep the lower lips stiff too.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Thanks for calling.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Heck, goodbye, gloomy character. Sounds like it just got a
good look at the thing. Hector, he heard the sad
news and he's very sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
What sad news? Dear?
Speaker 3 (21:50):
You don't suppose he's the field secretary for the little vultures,
do you?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Every time something happens to Kathy and the vultures?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Heck's on the phone.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
Oh my aching.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Ear, Why don't you let me get it this time?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
No, I'll carry through to the bitter end. Better mousetrap Anderson.
Speaker 7 (22:06):
That's me.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
One more trip to the phone and I get permanent possession. Hello,
hello George, Thank you very much, George.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Goodbye George. This can go on all night.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
What did George want to do?
Speaker 12 (22:22):
Same thing?
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Bad news? Keep a stiff upper lip. fIF fifth tally Hole.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Well, the least you could have done was ask him
what bad news?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
And play straight for those two practical jokers.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Margaret, I'm surprised you've known Heck and George as long
as I have.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
They were both perfectly sincere last time.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Jim say that's right, they were, weren't they.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Maybe I better call him back, Jim.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
This time it's the doorbell.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Thank you very much. Treat him man like he needs
a seeing eyed door opener.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Oh hell, mister Ford, Well we were sort of hoping
we'd hear from you.
Speaker 7 (22:56):
Come on in, Thank you, Thank you? Does he week?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I'll bet you had hot is mister Ford.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
Hello there, missus Anderson, go right into the damnist Ford.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Thank you.
Speaker 7 (23:08):
Eh. This is a comfy little spot, is now.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Why don't you sit at the desk, mister Ford, and
then you can spread out all your papers and things.
Speaker 7 (23:14):
Well, that would be nice.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Let me get a couple of cushions for you.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
Oh no, no, this will be fine.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
It's fine here now, yes, well, first, here's.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
The receipt for your one hundred dollar retaining fee.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
All that.
Speaker 7 (23:27):
It's very important you know all these little details. Eh.
Let me see now, Oh, well the range.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
If you haven't anything else on your mind, Jim, please,
you must.
Speaker 7 (23:38):
Be very anxious, of.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Course, not what do we care for a couple of
million dollars more or less?
Speaker 6 (23:44):
Well, you mean, I'm afraid you're going to be just
a little disappointed. You see when I said nine million.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Mister Ford, how much is it worth?
Speaker 6 (23:53):
Well, you remember what I told you about the unit system,
one cow and one calf for one year. Yes, well,
on your cousin Joe's ranch, it seems that one cow
and one calf need quite a bit of land. How
much twelve hundred acres? Twelve hundred, oh jim, which makes
(24:15):
the value of the land fifty cents an acre?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Oh Jim.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Well that isn't too bad, honey.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
We'll have a ranch to go to every summer, and
all it cost us is one hundred dollars we gave
mister Ford and mister.
Speaker 6 (24:29):
Anderson as your legal advisor. Me, I suggest that you
forget the whole thing.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Forget it.
Speaker 6 (24:35):
Well, you see, the land is only worth seventy five
hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Well, what's wrong with seventy five hundred dollars.
Speaker 6 (24:40):
Well, nothing except that we found a bill for eighty
two hundred and back taxes.
Speaker 12 (24:46):
Oh no.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
This weekend, as you buy coffee for your family, remember this.
Speaker 13 (25:13):
In coffee, just one thing means real value, the flavor
you get for your money. With this in mind, take
home the coffee with the most famous flavor in the world,
our Maxwell House Coffee. Then let the world's greatest coffee
expert enjoy that famous flavor. Yes, serve our Maxwell House
to your husband.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
He's the real authority on coffee. When he smiles and.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Says greatest coffee ever, you'll know Maxwell House has the
flavor for you and your family and for value. Well,
count for yourself all the truly good cups of coffee
you get from every pound. Tomorrow, buy coffee that gives
you your money's worth and more. Look for America's sign
of good coffee, the big white cuff and drop on
(25:58):
the friendly blue tin. That Maxwell House coffee always good
to the last drop. Remember Francois Bion, he was king
for a day.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Remember the Andersons.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
They were millionaires for a whole week, which is nice
work if you can get it anyway. They're back to
normal now, if you can call anything connected with the
Andersons normal, Like this.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Wasn't Jimmy Woody sweet Mommy? Yes, dear, He said he
didn't care what anybody said. If I wasn't a little vulture,
nobody was.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
That's my girl.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Isn't this the most beautiful day you've ever seen?
Speaker 4 (26:43):
She saw Van Johnson?
Speaker 5 (26:44):
Well, she went to the show with Stanley, but I
think that's all she saw Stanley.
Speaker 9 (26:50):
Dad, I got the placall polished up.
Speaker 7 (26:52):
How does it look?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Fine, but just fine?
Speaker 5 (26:55):
Let me see it again, please, Oh, Jim, isn't it beautiful?
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Where do you think we ought to put it? Honey?
Speaker 5 (27:01):
When the day naturally to James Anderson Senior for outstanding
service to the youth of Springfield, isn't that nice?
Speaker 4 (27:10):
You know it's a funny thing, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
But I've got a peculiar feeling that the plaque isn't
all mine.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
What do you mean, dear, Well.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
I wasn't getting anywhere until that silly inheritance came along.
Speaker 12 (27:22):
You know what I'm going to do?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
You're not going to give it back.
Speaker 7 (27:24):
Oh no, no no.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
But down here on the bottom, I'm going to put
a little sticker that says, with one assist from cousin Joel.
Speaker 11 (27:47):
At breakfast time, you don't have to say.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You children eat your cereal right this instance, just say
hop Along Cassidy is crazy about hot wheat meal.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Just a little psychology.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Yes, to get your children to eat a hot se
just tell them post wheatmeal is Hopolon Cassidy's favorite hot
cereal and they.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Eat it too.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Post wheatmeal is chuck full of solid whole wheat nourishment,
has a wonderful nut like flavor, and at cooks in
just three and a half minutes. You'll see you'll all
agree it's the best hot cereal you ever ate.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
Join us again.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Next week, when we'll be back with Father Knows Best,
starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargee and
the Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast for Rhoda Williams
is Betty June Whitley, Ted Donaldson, Norma G. Nielson, Howard McNair,
and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good
night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House
America's favorite brand of coffee, Always Good to the last
(28:46):
drug Father Knows Best, was transcribed in Hollywood and written
by Ed Jane. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which
follows immediately over.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Most of these states m HM.
Speaker 6 (29:08):
Coming up Dragnet, then be sure to hear Counterspy on
NBC
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