November 22, 2024 • 18 mins
Click Here to Chat with Us! We're all ears (& probably wine).
Ready to challenge the status quo of the corporate world? Let's debunk the myths surrounding leadership and professionalism. In this enlightening episode of "Fearlessly Female," we draw from personal experiences to highlight the delicate balance between technical skills and leadership prowess. We tackle the reality of stagnant work environments and the importance of understanding that employees aren't permanent fixtures. By encouraging skill development and involving employees in extra projects, companies can cultivate a culture of growth, ultimately leading to a more satisfying workplace for everyone involved.
But what happens when you're in the throes of an extended job search? We've got practical strategies to maintain positivity and emotional intelligence during this often-tumultuous time. From organizing job applications to the transformative power of self-belief, we explore how to stay motivated and positive. Emotional intelligence isn't just a buzzword; it's a vital tool for managing stress and transforming vague feedback into actionable insights. Join us as we share uplifting stories and powerful affirmations to help you reprogram your mindset for success. With support from a strong network and a focus on personal responsibility, discover how to pursue your ambitions with renewed confidence and motivation.
🎙️fearlesslyfemaleuncensored@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brittany (00:05):
Welcome to Fe Female, where two blondes make a right.
We're Brittany and Megan, thehosts of Fiercely Female.
This podcast was born out ofambition, drive and a lot of
wine.
We're two powerhouse comedicwomen having uncensored
conversations about topics thataffect women.
We're airing all the dirtylaundry, so grab your favorite
drink and give us a listen.
Meghan (00:23):
Today's podcast is Life of Lemons making lemon drops out
of lemons.
That's right, lemon drops.
None of this lemonade crap.
Warning calm your tits.
Offense will not be taken here.
Grab your favorite drink, burnyour bra and have a good time.
Brittany (00:39):
All right, let's dive into our first topic corporate
world.
So as we go through our lives,we all get dealt a crappy hand
when it comes to differentflavors and it can be difficult
to respond to.
But let's start with the firstflavor of crap we get dealt with
corporate.
Meghan (00:54):
That sounds like a Jaeger bomb Used to be good, but
now oh so gut-wrenching.
Brittany (01:00):
For all you that have corporate jobs, you get a unique
set of personalities andflavors.
That kind of walk into the door.
So I left my government job andtransitioned into a corporate
environment.
So I go in there naive, youknow thinking everyone has this.
You know kind of more or lessminimum knowledge level in terms
(01:20):
of professionalism, like thedepartments they're running.
You know kind of put them on apedestal.
So I walked into that thinkingit was going to, you know I was
going to benefit a lot from itand get a lot of experience.
But that was not the case atall.
When I had started my first job,the leadership at the time they
had the working years ofexperience but not the industry
(01:41):
experience.
So, as you can imagine, therewas just like a lot of friction
going back and forth and it wasreally frustrating to work with
and we were making a lot ofchanges within the team to make
the processes more efficient.
So you can imagine, you know,trying to explain to the
leadership what we're doing, howit benefited the team, they
(02:02):
just didn't really understandmore, really cared to understand
, and I felt personally itreally hindered my growth, you
know, to learn more and to youknow continuously developing
myself as a person as I wasthere in the job and then I saw
the effects that had on the teamand the department.
So I ended up deciding to leavebecause I was just no longer
(02:24):
being challenged, you know, withmy day-to-day work and my
personal development.
Meghan (02:29):
Yeah, sometimes a hill is too big that you can't change
it.
It's good to be aware and watchfor this stuff and pull the
plug when it is not serving you.
I would also say a leader withno knowledge of the job tasks is
not good, just like a leaderwith only technical knowledge
and lack of leadership skills isnot good.
Those are two different thingsleadership skills and technical
(02:52):
knowledge and you have to havebalance between those two.
Either can be learned, though,but you have to be willing, and
that takes being vulnerable tonot having all the answers, but
it will create trust throughoutyour team, pending you don't
have assholes that will takeadvantage of this, so you just
really have to manage thatdynamic or that culture.
Brittany (03:12):
Oh, I totally agree.
And you know, in my experience,just watching everybody, there's
really like a certain finesseand charisma in terms of being a
leader, because you have tonavigate the politics outright
right in a corporateorganization.
But you also have to, you know,advocate, you know for your team
too, and explain to your teamwhat you're doing, and you know
just cultivating them.
(03:33):
So when I was there, I wasworking on this project, you
know, to transform the team, youknow make the processes more
efficient, and there was no moreor less like succession
planning for my role or reallyanybody else's role, and it was
more or less kind of just, youknow, stay put in your job and
keep you in that role, becausewe didn't want to grow you or
(03:56):
mentor you or you know like kindof bring you upwards, because
you know they didn't want peopleto leave their jobs, right,
like they didn't want to put allthis effort investing in them
just for them to leave.
But you also get the flip sideof that, where you just kind of
get into a groundhog day,mundane day-to-day stuff, and
(04:16):
people don't always reallythrive on that.
Meghan (04:19):
I would say early in my leadership journey, I got
grounded on this concept.
So it's a fact People are goingto leave.
They are not going to work foryou for 50 years.
That no longer exists.
So you can either ignore it andlet it be a problem for later,
or you can harness it and use itto your advantage.
Make it work for you.
If your people want to go intoleadership, have them back you
(04:40):
up.
When you go on vacation, Notonly do you come back to less
emails, but they're developing askill.
And then talk about extraprojects and skill matching.
There's always extra projectsgoing around in the corporate
world and so if they want tolearn finance, figure out a way
to have them do extra projects.
It got to the point when I hademployees they asked me to like
(05:03):
stop developing them so much.
So like are you trying to getrid of us?
Please stop, but I'm just sopassionate about this topic.
Brittany (05:10):
And I think that's perfect, too right.
That's a great example, becausesome people want to be
developed and they want you to.
You know, give them challengesand some people are just fine.
You know, more or less kind ofwith the status quo, but
understanding you know whatpeople's goals are.
Ambitions Like for me in thisrole.
I'm just a really nice persongenerally, I'm very genuine.
Meghan (05:31):
No one would ever accuse me of being nice.
By the way, that's Brittany,not Megan.
Brittany (05:36):
But the culture in that department and the company
didn't really jive with mypersonality.
Meghan (05:44):
So how did you end up?
Resolving the situation I justleft and quit Like I mean there
was really nothing I can do.
Brittany (05:50):
It was kind of, you know, more or less like trekking
up a giant mountain that I wasnever going to change.
But you know, I just decided.
You know what it's time for meto change my environment.
Meghan (05:59):
Yeah, Realizing you're stuck in a situation and not
putting up with it, change it.
Nothing frustrates me more thana person who will stay in a
situation and continue tocomplain but never make the
change.
I'm all for venting, but thereis a point in time where you
need to take accountability andchange it.
Brittany (06:18):
Oh my goodness, yes, I've come across that in so many
aspects and I mean you're justgoing to kind of get assholes
that just hate their life andyou got to deal with them.
So I don't know if I've evertold you when I ended up moving
jobs, about this, thisdepartment.
I've like nicknamed them bitchass BU.
Meghan (06:37):
Um, what I'm going to need to hear about this?
My brain goes like BU, likeuniversity.
I hope there's a mascot.
Brittany (06:46):
There should have been , for how terrible these people
were.
So just for our listeners, buis a shorthand for business unit
.
So when I first started I drewthe first straw and ended up
working with this horrendousbusiness unit I'm talking.
They were like beyond difficultpeople to work with, like you
name it.
They were underminingargumentative, they'd go around
(07:08):
my back and I worked inhealthcare.
So the biggest thing withhealthcare is protecting, you
know, people's PHI, protectedhealth information.
And anytime we do contracts,you know you had to have certain
more or less guardrails inplace from a contracting
standpoint.
So they were in informationdelivery.
Everything they touched had PHIand it would just prolong the
(07:29):
contracting process.
So they would tell me no, no,no, like there's no PHI, they
would send PHI out, which is,you know, for the record, a
fireable offense.
You know, at the company andthe leadership.
I brought it up to my boss, totheir boss.
We talked about it.
Nothing got done there.
They weren't reprimanded for itI can't think of the word right
(07:52):
now no punishment, they didn'teven get a slap on the wrist.
Talk to her anything like thatyou know.
Meghan (07:58):
this is where you get in the news headlines Like such
and such a company announceseveryone's private information.
Right, I'm almost positive, Iread that somewhere.
But what does that relationshiplook like now with that company
?
They were probably behind thenews articles.
Brittany (08:19):
I'm guessing.
So I just kind of like took astep back and we were just
butting heads so much I realizedlike, hey, they're not going to
change.
So I needed to change myresponse to this situation and,
I don't know, maybe just not beso uptight about it.
But I kind of took a step backand was observing like the
interactions and then realizedmore or less the manager that I
worked with on a daily basis,they didn't really have a great
home life and what I mean bythat is like they didn't wear
(08:42):
the pants in the relationship.
They felt like more or lessundermined at home.
So when they came into work,they come in and take that and
take it out on everybody, likethe direct reports have been in
meetings where it just theytreated them the same way I did.
So what I ended up doing waslike, okay, I'm going to let you
wear the pants at work you knowI'm going to inflate your ego
(09:03):
within reason, you know.
And, um, sorry, okay, so I letthem wear the pants at work, you
know, within reason and keepthem in line, but I absolutely
needed to just, you know, turnit around.
So there was a few instanceshere and there where like I
would get upset, but I alreadyexpected this from them and I
(09:27):
also realized I know it's notbecause of me or who I am that
they were treating me this way.
I know it's not because of meor who I am that they were
treating me this way and itreally kind of changed more or
less my relationship with themand the dynamic and overall
outlook with them and they werelike one of the business units
that nobody wanted to work withand they just got to the point
where like, oh my gosh, brittany, we love you, we want to work
(09:47):
with you, we don't want to workwith anyone else.
Meghan (09:49):
So it actually like was very interesting dynamic after
that don't want to work withanyone else, so it actually like
was very interesting dynamicafter that.
Some of the best career adviceI got on I got early on was from
someone I didn't particularlylike or respect at work.
But the advice he gave me wasto understand who you work with
and their different styles.
How I work with one personversus another is completely
(10:10):
different.
So, brittany, that's whatyou're doing In this instance.
This guy just needs the control, right, so you just handed it
over and ultimately whathappened was you controlled the
relationship and got out of itwhat you needed.
So you were still kind ofsneakily holding the control,
but that's what that personneeded and you needed to give it
to them to be successful inyour own career.
(10:31):
And, honestly, I've actuallyjust turned my whole job,
professional career, into this.
Like small piece of advice iswhat I do for a living now.
Brittany (10:41):
I love it.
I really think that's like thebest advice too, because it
saves you a lot of headache inthe long run because you're not
sitting there trying to, likeyou know, smash like a square
peg in a round hole, thinkingyou know it has to be this way.
Smash like a square peg in around hole, thinking you know it
has to be this way, and youtake a more adaptive approach to
different people, theirpersonalities, their styles,
because not everybody is thesame.
Meghan (11:00):
Well, let's talk about different flavors of lemons.
I'm done with corporate.
Tell me about after all hours.
Let's call it happy hour.
Brittany (11:25):
I don't know, I don't think that's going to work, but
I really think how you thinkabout yourself and how you talk
to yourself radiates outwardinto your personal and
professional and otherrelationships too.
Meghan (11:31):
Cue self-care, self-love .
Light a candle, put on a mask,it's all fixed, right, I wish oh
my gosh, that sounds so nice.
Brittany (11:40):
Sign me up at the Lemon Drop because I'm all for
it, but realistically I meanlife's hard right.
I think we can all agree onthat.
If not, please email me whatdrugs you're taking and where I
can find them, because I wouldlike to order some.
But, megan, you're dealing witha little bit of a lemon
situation right now, or at thetime we're recording this, so
(12:01):
why don't you tell us about?
Meghan (12:02):
it, yeah.
So I mean boiling it down.
I have to find a job and youknow we have talked about the
corporate world a lot, but thisis my personal life.
It's so connected to thecorporate world.
I have to find a job to pay forthe roof over my head,
electricity to record thispodcast.
So I've been looking for a jobfor focused six months but
(12:23):
honestly, it's been a two-yearjourney and I was.
I had one that was like lookingreally good and then the
company changed their mind anddecided not to hire the position
after I had gotten like severalinterviews.
And then I had another companytake four months to make a
decision, including likemultiple interviews and
assessments.
I have like five pages of jobsthat I've applied to and I'm
(12:46):
just getting like no traction.
But really, I think the pointis how do you mean positivity in
this situation?
It's all good and hunky dory todeal with stress for a short
amount of time, but this hasbeen weighing on me for six
months and we're getting to theend of the deadline for me to
have a new job and potentiallybe unemployed, so there's a lot
of pressure on it.
Brittany (13:07):
Oh my gosh, that sounds so stressful.
I'd probably be pulling my hairout right now, especially, like
you know, when you're worriedabout OK, am I going to have a
place to live soon, or you knowfood to eat, you know that's
always helpful.
So how did you maintainpositivity in a situation like
that and not you know?
Meghan (13:29):
accidentally convey that you're going on all these
interviews and convey it in yourinterview.
So I think the first is I givemyself grace, I allow myself to
take a break from the job search, I allow myself to have a good
cry or just freeze, and Irecognize the stress that I'm
under and seriously go take thenap right.
This is so important,especially when you're dealing
with lemon juice for a long time.
Whether it's applying for a jobor dealing with something else,
you have to find a way to takea break from the situation so
(13:53):
you can get energy and berecharged to tackle it again.
Oh my God, I love a good cry.
Brittany (13:58):
But you know, taking the break right, it's like that
sweet and salty thing tocounteract the lemon juice
you're dealing with Exactly.
Meghan (14:04):
The second is I get into action, right.
So once you've had that treatto counteract that lemon juice,
use that sugar rush we're justgoing to totally overplay this
metaphor in the podcast, by theway but start taking action.
Whether it's finding a job oryou're dealing with another
lemon in your life, take action.
So I love lists.
(14:26):
I feel better when I make alarge list of the jobs I've
applied for, or I have awhiteboard that has all my
interview thoughts up, or I usea flagging system in my email
and I challenge myself to getrid of all the flags that are
related to jobs.
I make it into a game.
So you need to use your styleto make that action happen.
Brittany (14:43):
I love that.
I mean, that makes sense, right?
You're not like Netflix andbinging and, you know, hoping
the job's going to fall out ofyour sky while you're at your
little campfire, right, right,that never happens.
Meghan (14:54):
And the last point is really around emotional
intelligence.
I'm realizing I'm veryirritable toward people that
have nothing to do with mysituation.
I'm realizing that I'm dealingwith a stressful situation and
try not to take it out on othersor make them aware of my
situation, letting them know togo easy on me I don't want to
really be teased right now, orcertainly do not follow up with
(15:15):
me constantly about the statusof this lemon right.
Trust you, trust me, I am goingto tell you once.
It is a lemon drop worthcelebrating.
Brittany (15:24):
I totally agree and I've been in a similar situation
.
But I feel like communicatinghow you're feeling.
You know, obviously in a calmway, I used to be very explosive
and, you know, angry when I wasyounger, but it really goes a
long way.
You know, if you haven't sleptwell, like hey, I'm a little bit
irritable.
You know X, y, z things,exactly like how you said in
your situation.
Meghan (15:44):
So people understand, like oh, okay, I get where this
person's coming from, yeah, andthat's really some smart
emotional intelligence rightthere.
And if you're listening, anemotional intelligence, or EQ,
is a new term for you Iencourage you to go find an
assessment and go work on it.
Political savviness andemotional intelligence can
almost be related, and if you'regetting vague feedback in your
(16:08):
life, whether it's at yourcareer or personal life, this is
a real quick way to turn thatinto specific.
Brittany (16:16):
That's really good advice.
I have like a friend who I'mjust going to call her Dolly, in
this.
Meghan (16:23):
Dolly as in Dolly as in Dolly Parton.
Brittany (16:26):
Dolly Parton I wish.
I mean she's comparable toDolly Parton.
So the example pretty much forher is she's working like a
series of minimum wage jobs andshe was always saying, you know,
I would hope I get you know XYZcorporate job or I need a new
job.
But she was just kind of likevery pessimistic about the
situation and didn't, you know,take the action like you did
(16:49):
with the list.
That's why I love what you'resaying with going back and
making a game of it so you cansee the progress you made.
Here's the interesting partabout her, though she's
absolutely brilliant, like shewent to college studied business
.
She's like absolutely bosswoman.
Her family's very smart, veryintelligent, but she doesn't
believe in herself to get tothat next level.
(17:10):
So I think that's where a lot oflike you know, these
affirmations come, you know,into play, and I don't mean, you
know XYZ just I hope thing isgoing to happen.
But you really have to changethe statement, because it forces
your mind to change how youthink and adopt a new belief
system.
So in you know her instance,you know, instead of saying I
would hope I get a new job, youknow, just act like you already
(17:32):
have the job or tell yourself Ihave this job and you know I'm
excited to go to it, I love mylife.
You know, at some point you'regoing to need to start like
conditioning yourself to believethat and reprogramming your
subconscious, because yourbrain's pretty much just a giant
computer and if you'recontinuously feeding it garbage
and like negative programming,that's what you're going to.
You know, adopt and accept.
(17:54):
But if you kind of reprogramthat and repeatedly tell
yourself, like I'm the best, Ido great, I'm amazing, like
you're going to start believingthat.
Meghan (18:03):
Absolutely.
I hope everyone hascheerleaders in their lives
helping encourage you to thenext level.
I recently had a friend tell meyou are always encouraging my
crazy ideas.
So, yes, have those, butultimately it is up to you.
Just like Britt said, you haveto believe in yourself and go
after it.
Find the people behind you thatcan cheer you on with a drink
in the hand.
So, brittany, are you comingover for lemon drops?
(18:25):
Oh, I'm on my way now.
Brittany (18:28):
So if you yourself have ambition, drive and booze
in your system, we would love tohear from you as our guest or
hear ideas.
You can email us atfearlesslyfemaleuncensored@
gmail.
com.
Welcome to Fe Female, where two blondes make a right.
We're Brittany and Megan, thehosts of Fiercely Female.
This podcast was born out ofambition, drive and a lot of
wine.
We're two powerhouse comedicwomen having uncensored
conversations about topics thataffect women.
We're airing all the dirtylaundry, so grab your favorite
drink and give us a listen.
Meghan (00:23):
Today's podcast is Life of Lemons making lemon drops out
of lemons.
That's right, lemon drops.
None of this lemonade crap.
Warning calm your tits.
Offense will not be taken here.
Grab your favorite drink, burnyour bra and have a good time.
Brittany (00:39):
All right, let's dive into our first topic corporate
world.
So as we go through our lives,we all get dealt a crappy hand
when it comes to differentflavors and it can be difficult
to respond to.
But let's start with the firstflavor of crap we get dealt with
corporate.
Meghan (00:54):
That sounds like a Jaeger bomb Used to be good, but
now oh so gut-wrenching.
Brittany (01:00):
For all you that have corporate jobs, you get a unique
set of personalities andflavors.
That kind of walk into the door.
So I left my government job andtransitioned into a corporate
environment.
So I go in there naive, youknow thinking everyone has this.
You know kind of more or lessminimum knowledge level in terms
(01:20):
of professionalism, like thedepartments they're running.
You know kind of put them on apedestal.
So I walked into that thinkingit was going to, you know I was
going to benefit a lot from itand get a lot of experience.
But that was not the case atall.
When I had started my first job,the leadership at the time they
had the working years ofexperience but not the industry
(01:41):
experience.
So, as you can imagine, therewas just like a lot of friction
going back and forth and it wasreally frustrating to work with
and we were making a lot ofchanges within the team to make
the processes more efficient.
So you can imagine, you know,trying to explain to the
leadership what we're doing, howit benefited the team, they
(02:02):
just didn't really understandmore, really cared to understand
, and I felt personally itreally hindered my growth, you
know, to learn more and to youknow continuously developing
myself as a person as I wasthere in the job and then I saw
the effects that had on the teamand the department.
So I ended up deciding to leavebecause I was just no longer
(02:24):
being challenged, you know, withmy day-to-day work and my
personal development.
Meghan (02:29):
Yeah, sometimes a hill is too big that you can't change
it.
It's good to be aware and watchfor this stuff and pull the
plug when it is not serving you.
I would also say a leader withno knowledge of the job tasks is
not good, just like a leaderwith only technical knowledge
and lack of leadership skills isnot good.
Those are two different thingsleadership skills and technical
(02:52):
knowledge and you have to havebalance between those two.
Either can be learned, though,but you have to be willing, and
that takes being vulnerable tonot having all the answers, but
it will create trust throughoutyour team, pending you don't
have assholes that will takeadvantage of this, so you just
really have to manage thatdynamic or that culture.
Brittany (03:12):
Oh, I totally agree.
And you know, in my experience,just watching everybody, there's
really like a certain finesseand charisma in terms of being a
leader, because you have tonavigate the politics outright
right in a corporateorganization.
But you also have to, you know,advocate, you know for your team
too, and explain to your teamwhat you're doing, and you know
just cultivating them.
(03:33):
So when I was there, I wasworking on this project, you
know, to transform the team, youknow make the processes more
efficient, and there was no moreor less like succession
planning for my role or reallyanybody else's role, and it was
more or less kind of just, youknow, stay put in your job and
keep you in that role, becausewe didn't want to grow you or
(03:56):
mentor you or you know like kindof bring you upwards, because
you know they didn't want peopleto leave their jobs, right,
like they didn't want to put allthis effort investing in them
just for them to leave.
But you also get the flip sideof that, where you just kind of
get into a groundhog day,mundane day-to-day stuff, and
(04:16):
people don't always reallythrive on that.
Meghan (04:19):
I would say early in my leadership journey, I got
grounded on this concept.
So it's a fact People are goingto leave.
They are not going to work foryou for 50 years.
That no longer exists.
So you can either ignore it andlet it be a problem for later,
or you can harness it and use itto your advantage.
Make it work for you.
If your people want to go intoleadership, have them back you
(04:40):
up.
When you go on vacation, Notonly do you come back to less
emails, but they're developing askill.
And then talk about extraprojects and skill matching.
There's always extra projectsgoing around in the corporate
world and so if they want tolearn finance, figure out a way
to have them do extra projects.
It got to the point when I hademployees they asked me to like
(05:03):
stop developing them so much.
So like are you trying to getrid of us?
Please stop, but I'm just sopassionate about this topic.
Brittany (05:10):
And I think that's perfect, too right.
That's a great example, becausesome people want to be
developed and they want you to.
You know, give them challengesand some people are just fine.
You know, more or less kind ofwith the status quo, but
understanding you know whatpeople's goals are.
Ambitions Like for me in thisrole.
I'm just a really nice persongenerally, I'm very genuine.
Meghan (05:31):
No one would ever accuse me of being nice.
By the way, that's Brittany,not Megan.
Brittany (05:36):
But the culture in that department and the company
didn't really jive with mypersonality.
Meghan (05:44):
So how did you end up?
Resolving the situation I justleft and quit Like I mean there
was really nothing I can do.
Brittany (05:50):
It was kind of, you know, more or less like trekking
up a giant mountain that I wasnever going to change.
But you know, I just decided.
You know what it's time for meto change my environment.
Meghan (05:59):
Yeah, Realizing you're stuck in a situation and not
putting up with it, change it.
Nothing frustrates me more thana person who will stay in a
situation and continue tocomplain but never make the
change.
I'm all for venting, but thereis a point in time where you
need to take accountability andchange it.
Brittany (06:18):
Oh my goodness, yes, I've come across that in so many
aspects and I mean you're justgoing to kind of get assholes
that just hate their life andyou got to deal with them.
So I don't know if I've evertold you when I ended up moving
jobs, about this, thisdepartment.
I've like nicknamed them bitchass BU.
Meghan (06:37):
Um, what I'm going to need to hear about this?
My brain goes like BU, likeuniversity.
I hope there's a mascot.
Brittany (06:46):
There should have been , for how terrible these people
were.
So just for our listeners, buis a shorthand for business unit
.
So when I first started I drewthe first straw and ended up
working with this horrendousbusiness unit I'm talking.
They were like beyond difficultpeople to work with, like you
name it.
They were underminingargumentative, they'd go around
(07:08):
my back and I worked inhealthcare.
So the biggest thing withhealthcare is protecting, you
know, people's PHI, protectedhealth information.
And anytime we do contracts,you know you had to have certain
more or less guardrails inplace from a contracting
standpoint.
So they were in informationdelivery.
Everything they touched had PHIand it would just prolong the
(07:29):
contracting process.
So they would tell me no, no,no, like there's no PHI, they
would send PHI out, which is,you know, for the record, a
fireable offense.
You know, at the company andthe leadership.
I brought it up to my boss, totheir boss.
We talked about it.
Nothing got done there.
They weren't reprimanded for itI can't think of the word right
(07:52):
now no punishment, they didn'teven get a slap on the wrist.
Talk to her anything like thatyou know.
Meghan (07:58):
this is where you get in the news headlines Like such
and such a company announceseveryone's private information.
Right, I'm almost positive, Iread that somewhere.
But what does that relationshiplook like now with that company
?
They were probably behind thenews articles.
Brittany (08:19):
I'm guessing.
So I just kind of like took astep back and we were just
butting heads so much I realizedlike, hey, they're not going to
change.
So I needed to change myresponse to this situation and,
I don't know, maybe just not beso uptight about it.
But I kind of took a step backand was observing like the
interactions and then realizedmore or less the manager that I
worked with on a daily basis,they didn't really have a great
home life and what I mean bythat is like they didn't wear
(08:42):
the pants in the relationship.
They felt like more or lessundermined at home.
So when they came into work,they come in and take that and
take it out on everybody, likethe direct reports have been in
meetings where it just theytreated them the same way I did.
So what I ended up doing waslike, okay, I'm going to let you
wear the pants at work you knowI'm going to inflate your ego
(09:03):
within reason, you know.
And, um, sorry, okay, so I letthem wear the pants at work, you
know, within reason and keepthem in line, but I absolutely
needed to just, you know, turnit around.
So there was a few instanceshere and there where like I
would get upset, but I alreadyexpected this from them and I
(09:27):
also realized I know it's notbecause of me or who I am that
they were treating me this way.
I know it's not because of meor who I am that they were
treating me this way and itreally kind of changed more or
less my relationship with themand the dynamic and overall
outlook with them and they werelike one of the business units
that nobody wanted to work withand they just got to the point
where like, oh my gosh, brittany, we love you, we want to work
(09:47):
with you, we don't want to workwith anyone else.
Meghan (09:49):
So it actually like was very interesting dynamic after
that don't want to work withanyone else, so it actually like
was very interesting dynamicafter that.
Some of the best career adviceI got on I got early on was from
someone I didn't particularlylike or respect at work.
But the advice he gave me wasto understand who you work with
and their different styles.
How I work with one personversus another is completely
(10:10):
different.
So, brittany, that's whatyou're doing In this instance.
This guy just needs the control, right, so you just handed it
over and ultimately whathappened was you controlled the
relationship and got out of itwhat you needed.
So you were still kind ofsneakily holding the control,
but that's what that personneeded and you needed to give it
to them to be successful inyour own career.
(10:31):
And, honestly, I've actuallyjust turned my whole job,
professional career, into this.
Like small piece of advice iswhat I do for a living now.
Brittany (10:41):
I love it.
I really think that's like thebest advice too, because it
saves you a lot of headache inthe long run because you're not
sitting there trying to, likeyou know, smash like a square
peg in a round hole, thinkingyou know it has to be this way.
Smash like a square peg in around hole, thinking you know it
has to be this way, and youtake a more adaptive approach to
different people, theirpersonalities, their styles,
because not everybody is thesame.
Meghan (11:00):
Well, let's talk about different flavors of lemons.
I'm done with corporate.
Tell me about after all hours.
Let's call it happy hour.
Brittany (11:25):
I don't know, I don't think that's going to work, but
I really think how you thinkabout yourself and how you talk
to yourself radiates outwardinto your personal and
professional and otherrelationships too.
Meghan (11:31):
Cue self-care, self-love .
Light a candle, put on a mask,it's all fixed, right, I wish oh
my gosh, that sounds so nice.
Brittany (11:40):
Sign me up at the Lemon Drop because I'm all for
it, but realistically I meanlife's hard right.
I think we can all agree onthat.
If not, please email me whatdrugs you're taking and where I
can find them, because I wouldlike to order some.
But, megan, you're dealing witha little bit of a lemon
situation right now, or at thetime we're recording this, so
(12:01):
why don't you tell us about?
Meghan (12:02):
it, yeah.
So I mean boiling it down.
I have to find a job and youknow we have talked about the
corporate world a lot, but thisis my personal life.
It's so connected to thecorporate world.
I have to find a job to pay forthe roof over my head,
electricity to record thispodcast.
So I've been looking for a jobfor focused six months but
(12:23):
honestly, it's been a two-yearjourney and I was.
I had one that was like lookingreally good and then the
company changed their mind anddecided not to hire the position
after I had gotten like severalinterviews.
And then I had another companytake four months to make a
decision, including likemultiple interviews and
assessments.
I have like five pages of jobsthat I've applied to and I'm
(12:46):
just getting like no traction.
But really, I think the pointis how do you mean positivity in
this situation?
It's all good and hunky dory todeal with stress for a short
amount of time, but this hasbeen weighing on me for six
months and we're getting to theend of the deadline for me to
have a new job and potentiallybe unemployed, so there's a lot
of pressure on it.
Brittany (13:07):
Oh my gosh, that sounds so stressful.
I'd probably be pulling my hairout right now, especially, like
you know, when you're worriedabout OK, am I going to have a
place to live soon, or you knowfood to eat, you know that's
always helpful.
So how did you maintainpositivity in a situation like
that and not you know?
Meghan (13:29):
accidentally convey that you're going on all these
interviews and convey it in yourinterview.
So I think the first is I givemyself grace, I allow myself to
take a break from the job search, I allow myself to have a good
cry or just freeze, and Irecognize the stress that I'm
under and seriously go take thenap right.
This is so important,especially when you're dealing
with lemon juice for a long time.
Whether it's applying for a jobor dealing with something else,
you have to find a way to takea break from the situation so
(13:53):
you can get energy and berecharged to tackle it again.
Oh my God, I love a good cry.
Brittany (13:58):
But you know, taking the break right, it's like that
sweet and salty thing tocounteract the lemon juice
you're dealing with Exactly.
Meghan (14:04):
The second is I get into action, right.
So once you've had that treatto counteract that lemon juice,
use that sugar rush we're justgoing to totally overplay this
metaphor in the podcast, by theway but start taking action.
Whether it's finding a job oryou're dealing with another
lemon in your life, take action.
So I love lists.
(14:26):
I feel better when I make alarge list of the jobs I've
applied for, or I have awhiteboard that has all my
interview thoughts up, or I usea flagging system in my email
and I challenge myself to getrid of all the flags that are
related to jobs.
I make it into a game.
So you need to use your styleto make that action happen.
Brittany (14:43):
I love that.
I mean, that makes sense, right?
You're not like Netflix andbinging and, you know, hoping
the job's going to fall out ofyour sky while you're at your
little campfire, right, right,that never happens.
Meghan (14:54):
And the last point is really around emotional
intelligence.
I'm realizing I'm veryirritable toward people that
have nothing to do with mysituation.
I'm realizing that I'm dealingwith a stressful situation and
try not to take it out on othersor make them aware of my
situation, letting them know togo easy on me I don't want to
really be teased right now, orcertainly do not follow up with
(15:15):
me constantly about the statusof this lemon right.
Trust you, trust me, I am goingto tell you once.
It is a lemon drop worthcelebrating.
Brittany (15:24):
I totally agree and I've been in a similar situation
.
But I feel like communicatinghow you're feeling.
You know, obviously in a calmway, I used to be very explosive
and, you know, angry when I wasyounger, but it really goes a
long way.
You know, if you haven't sleptwell, like hey, I'm a little bit
irritable.
You know X, y, z things,exactly like how you said in
your situation.
Meghan (15:44):
So people understand, like oh, okay, I get where this
person's coming from, yeah, andthat's really some smart
emotional intelligence rightthere.
And if you're listening, anemotional intelligence, or EQ,
is a new term for you Iencourage you to go find an
assessment and go work on it.
Political savviness andemotional intelligence can
almost be related, and if you'regetting vague feedback in your
(16:08):
life, whether it's at yourcareer or personal life, this is
a real quick way to turn thatinto specific.
Brittany (16:16):
That's really good advice.
I have like a friend who I'mjust going to call her Dolly, in
this.
Meghan (16:23):
Dolly as in Dolly as in Dolly Parton.
Brittany (16:26):
Dolly Parton I wish.
I mean she's comparable toDolly Parton.
So the example pretty much forher is she's working like a
series of minimum wage jobs andshe was always saying, you know,
I would hope I get you know XYZcorporate job or I need a new
job.
But she was just kind of likevery pessimistic about the
situation and didn't, you know,take the action like you did
(16:49):
with the list.
That's why I love what you'resaying with going back and
making a game of it so you cansee the progress you made.
Here's the interesting partabout her, though she's
absolutely brilliant, like shewent to college studied business
.
She's like absolutely bosswoman.
Her family's very smart, veryintelligent, but she doesn't
believe in herself to get tothat next level.
(17:10):
So I think that's where a lot oflike you know, these
affirmations come, you know,into play, and I don't mean, you
know XYZ just I hope thing isgoing to happen.
But you really have to changethe statement, because it forces
your mind to change how youthink and adopt a new belief
system.
So in you know her instance,you know, instead of saying I
would hope I get a new job, youknow, just act like you already
(17:32):
have the job or tell yourself Ihave this job and you know I'm
excited to go to it, I love mylife.
You know, at some point you'regoing to need to start like
conditioning yourself to believethat and reprogramming your
subconscious, because yourbrain's pretty much just a giant
computer and if you'recontinuously feeding it garbage
and like negative programming,that's what you're going to.
You know, adopt and accept.
(17:54):
But if you kind of reprogramthat and repeatedly tell
yourself, like I'm the best, Ido great, I'm amazing, like
you're going to start believingthat.
Meghan (18:03):
Absolutely.
I hope everyone hascheerleaders in their lives
helping encourage you to thenext level.
I recently had a friend tell meyou are always encouraging my
crazy ideas.
So, yes, have those, butultimately it is up to you.
Just like Britt said, you haveto believe in yourself and go
after it.
Find the people behind you thatcan cheer you on with a drink
in the hand.
So, brittany, are you comingover for lemon drops?
(18:25):
Oh, I'm on my way now.
Brittany (18:28):
So if you yourself have ambition, drive and booze
in your system, we would love tohear from you as our guest or
hear ideas.
You can email us atfearlesslyfemaleuncensored@
gmail.
com.
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