December 15, 2021 • 18 mins
If you haven’t reached your peak potential in life because fear, doubt, or a lack of self-confidence have been holding you back, then this podcast is for you.
Fostering Success will help you discover that you are the VICTOR not the Victim in your life regardless of your circumstances.
Adam Starks, your host, weaves through the trials and tribulations that he’s endured in life, including rising out of the foster care system to reach the pinnacle of success in his chosen field. He has since dedicated his life to helping others overcome their obstacles to achieve their true calling and purpose in life by “fostering” their success. You’ll be listening to the authentic voice of someone who’s actually been there and done what you’re looking to do so you two can reach for AND achieve the pinnacle of success in every area of your life.
Not only will you be inspired and motivated to take the necessary next steps to achieve your definition of success. Adam Starks will teach, train, coach, and , mentor you along the path in each and every inspiring episode.
Fostering Success will help you discover that you are the VICTOR not the Victim in your life regardless of your circumstances.
Adam Starks, your host, weaves through the trials and tribulations that he’s endured in life, including rising out of the foster care system to reach the pinnacle of success in his chosen field. He has since dedicated his life to helping others overcome their obstacles to achieve their true calling and purpose in life by “fostering” their success. You’ll be listening to the authentic voice of someone who’s actually been there and done what you’re looking to do so you two can reach for AND achieve the pinnacle of success in every area of your life.
Not only will you be inspired and motivated to take the necessary next steps to achieve your definition of success. Adam Starks will teach, train, coach, and , mentor you along the path in each and every inspiring episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
If you've suffered with fear, doubt, worry, or lack of
confidence in your life, then this podcast is for you.
In Fostering success, Doctor Adam Starks, having risen himself from
the foster care system to the pinnacle of success in life,
shares his blueprint in this podcast and interviews inspiring individuals
from around the world. You'll be touched, moved, and motivated
(00:29):
by Adam and his guests so that you too can
foster your own success and catapult to the pinnacle of
success in any area of your life. Here's your host,
Doctor Adam Starks.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome to Fostering Success with doctor Adam Starks. Today we
are talking about being in the right place where you
are right now. I'm sitting here in Phillippy, West Virginia,
and I often ponder whether or not I'm in the
right place now. My story didn't necessarily start here, but
(01:10):
I will get into that in the moment. Think about
where you're at at this time, and it could be
any place in the world right We move constantly as humans.
We have always been explorers by nature. Most of that
was due to our hunting and gathering ancestors, and many
(01:37):
of us stay on the move throughout our lifetimes. It
is rare. It is becoming even more rare as the
world gets more accessible, whether it's through virtual settings or
opportunities that arise elsewhere. People are becoming more mobile. Now,
(02:04):
that does not necessarily mean that you can't achieve whatever
you want to achieve where you're at right now. Even
though I'm sitting here in Phillippi, West Virginia, it's not
known as the beacon of opportunity. However, I've been able
to achieve quite a feat over my six years in
(02:27):
residents here. Now. There are some days where I'd leave
for a klondike bar, and there are other days when
I realize the value of being in a rural town
that just likes to take life one day at a time.
(02:48):
And that's really more my speed. Because I think about
the time when I worked in Washington, d C. And
when I lived in the dmv AK Virginia, DC, Maryland, Virginia.
All Right, I trecked and traveled through the treacherous traffic
(03:10):
on I sixty six going to work in d C.
And so I would sit in traffic for anywhere from
to to four hours a day. That wasn't really delight
for me. I grew up in a rural country Rappahannock, Virginia.
Before that, I started my life in California, which I
(03:33):
still remember vividly. I recount a lot of those details
in my autobiography, Broken Child, Mended Man. But that did
not define who I ended up becoming. And so, you know,
even though I'm ambitious, I'm not going to the city,
(03:57):
you know, assert myself as this dominant force and I'm
going to be successful no matter what kind of guy. No.
I kind of took a slow back approach to success.
And really, while that was my route, that's not necessarily
(04:18):
the route that's going to work for you. Millions of
people move into various cities across America every day, looking
for opportunity, looking for ways to become more successful than
they were wherever else they were at. And millions of
us moved throughout the country. And I'm talking just about
(04:41):
America here. We moved throughout our country, you know, all
the time. A year after year. Now, my adult life
started off in Harrisonburg, Virginia, and I like to think
back sometimes, you know, what would have happened had I
(05:03):
stayed there, Had I stayed there and committed to that community,
committed to my first home that I had there. Well,
there are a lot of advantage advantages to staying there,
but I didn't, right, So there's really no reason to
(05:23):
reflect on it other than to tell you this story.
I left for an opportunity, so incomes Winchester, Virginia. Things
didn't work out as planned. The job that I had
at the time as a manager of Panera Bread dangled
a carry the joint venture partnership out in front of me.
(05:45):
I went for it. It was pulled away and things just
did not work out. So I ended up leaving that position,
and here I am in Winchester, Virginia, wondering what's next.
I wasn't especially crazy about the place. It is a
beautiful area, Shenandoah region. You know, you've got the mountains,
(06:07):
you've got access to nature, you've got access to you know,
all of the amenities that you need. Which was just
a hop, skip and jump away, which is fantastic. All right.
It was convenient, it was beautiful, but there was just
something about it that I just didn't feel it was
(06:28):
right for me. So on, go on, we go to Martinsburg,
West Virginia. All right, I'm still commuting back and forth
to d C. But I really couldn't make sense of
my family staying there, and so my wife got the idea, Hey,
let's move to Pittsburgh. You know, Pittsburgh's an exciting city.
(06:51):
It was relatively affordable, and we did that for a
little while. Now, keep in mind, we had kids as well,
and I'm still trying to figure out my way. And
I'm telling you this story because we think, oh, if
we just move, we can then become successful, you know.
(07:16):
And here's what I want to tell you before I
finish this story. The grass is always greener somewhere else,
all right, And you know I wish right now, you know,
it's it's cold. It's a cold, winter, blustery day here
in West Virginia. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm
thinking about the beach. I was in at the beach
(07:38):
in July and Junia and July, and it was fantastic.
And you know, I love the warmth. I love the
sun hit hitting my skin, and you know, everything was
just great. You know, my family was happy, and we
were doing activities and yeah, things were you know, looking up,
(08:02):
you know, because the sun was shining every day and
that that was all I needed at the time. However, right,
it's not affordable, and it's not like North Carolina or
California doesn't come with their own share of challenges, including affordability, right,
which is one of the reasons I ended up in
(08:24):
West Virginia. So now I have a home that I'm
going to pay off before I'm fifty, and I have,
you know, access to nature and just a taking life
day at one day at a time, which is more
my pace, all right. For you. You may be that fast,
you know, got to go right now kind of person
(08:45):
and you know, need access to all these amenities and
things like that, and that's fantastic, you know, and I
admire that, and my advice to you is go for
it and make sure that you're happy, and you know,
make sure that you have a route to success. That
being said, I do miss culture, the music, the excitement,
(09:14):
striking up a conversation with a person who absolutely loves
books and they're a complete stranger, and I miss that
part about DC. But that's not to say that I
can't get that here. It's just not going to be
the same cultural aspects. For example, I am a one
(09:41):
of a handful of black men that live here, and
so my cultural experiences are not going to be the
same as others, even though I can relate to them
in terms of how I grew up in the countryside
and how I grew up with a similar sets of challenges.
(10:03):
That's about where it ends, all right. What I want
now in life is much different from what many of
them want in life, and so you have to give
and take. And so that means I have to travel,
but I can always come back to this safe haven
so to speak with my family, knowing I can afford
(10:25):
to live here and knowing I can do whatever I
need to do to focus on what will make me
successful and achieving my dreams. And so that's what I
want for you. And going back to that story, all right,
we landed in Pittsburgh. I try to make inroads there
(10:46):
with the community. I tried to start a nonprofit. I
was still working in DC. Now you're talking about to
the four hour commute turning into a consistent six hour commute.
So I ended up being one of the supercommuters, and
that was not an ideal lifestyle that to me, was
not success in any shape or form. Yes I was
(11:11):
making great money, Yes I was you know, a stone's
throw away from six figures a year. But man, I
was miserable, you know, and going into that great cubicle,
you know, day in and day out, I just I
didn't see the point of it. And that is part
(11:31):
of what inspired this podcast and my willingness to false
success for others, because I don't want anyone to have
to go through that process, right, and I feel like
sharing my story will empower you to avoid my missteps. Right.
(11:53):
So that's where we're at right now with that, And
so that's where I'm at. I'm completely satisfied with the
decisions that I've made in the journey I've taken to
get here, because look, I can't change it, right, so
I'm going to have to accept it and learn from it.
(12:14):
And now I'm at a mental state where I can
focus on what I should have been doing all along,
and that I love about myself, and that is a
feeling that I want you to have as well. All Right.
So I've always been a wandering spirit, you know. The
world fascinates me, New experiences fascinate me, but it doesn't
(12:41):
necessarily make me successful. And remember what I said about
the grass always being greener somewhere else, all right, And
that's human nature. We get excited in a new space.
I mean not all of us are terrified of it.
You know, I live among people who have never left
this county, and as gorgeous as West Virginia is, that's
(13:03):
not for me. That's not something that I would want.
I want to visit Tokyo one day. I want to,
you know, go go the Fiji or you know, see
the Great Wall of China. And you know, I've been
to Europe. I've been to well, not Europe, but the
UK in Scotland, I've been to Jamaica. I'm going to
(13:24):
Belieze next year. That stuff excites me, and that's not
for everyone. But you get to decide. You know who
you are. And I'm not saying get up and move
to be successful. What I'm saying is look at your
surroundings way the positives and the negatives, and determine if
(13:50):
you can be successful there, if you can great and
if I can be successful here in Philippy, what Virginia.
You know, by my own right, you might be able
to be successful where you're at. And if not, make
a plan to move. Make a plan. And now I'm
(14:13):
not saying I'm going to stay here forever. That's quite
honestly not what I want. But if that happens, I
can still achieve what I need to be successful right
on my terms right And that's what I want you
to determine on your terms way the positives and the
(14:34):
negatives of where you're at right now, and determine if
you can achieve success in the place you're at right now,
right There are trade offs. Like I said when I
was in the city, I love the excitement of DC.
(14:55):
I love the culture and you know, being able to
grab different types of food, different types of wine, and
just explore through taste and feel and sight and just
everything that it had to offer. Could not stand the traffic.
(15:17):
Waiting in traffic was just such a waste of time.
And even if I was listening to the radio or
an audio book or something like that the past the time,
I was losing a lot of time with my family,
which I've said in earlier episodes that is part of
my success, being able to break the cycle and by
(15:39):
being there for my children. Obviously, I could not do
that on the road as much as I was, and
I was missing their events, so I had to make
a change, a conscious change. Now, I want you to
think about this as I finish up here, all right.
One of the key to success is being at the
(16:02):
right place at the right time. But success isn't necessarily
a fleeting moment. Yeah, you may have an opportunity and
you have to make a split decision as to whether
you're going to go for it or not. And if
you don't, you're saying that you're okay with the status quo.
(16:23):
All right, So it's not a fleeting moment necessarily as
much as it is a state of mind, all right.
Being at the right place is a state of mind
more so than it is an actual place, because you
(16:44):
can achieve in this day and age, in our digital age,
you can achieve what you want where you're at for
the most part, unless you're surrounded by a toxic of people,
naysayers and cynics, which Lord knows, I have my share
(17:06):
surrounding me, but they don't dictate what I want to achieve.
They are not the ones holding me back. Ultimately, it's
my mindset, all right, and that's something that I have
the power to adjust, and so that you Until next time,
(17:28):
thank you for listening to fostering Success.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
So that's it for today's episode. Head on over to
iTunes and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every
single week that posts a review in iTunes will win
a chance to win the grand prize drawing for a
private VIP day with doctor Adam Starks himself. Be sure
to head on over to Fosteringsuccess podcast dot com and
(17:55):
pick up a free copy of Adam's Gift and join
us on the next episode.
If you've suffered with fear, doubt, worry, or lack of
confidence in your life, then this podcast is for you.
In Fostering success, Doctor Adam Starks, having risen himself from
the foster care system to the pinnacle of success in life,
shares his blueprint in this podcast and interviews inspiring individuals
from around the world. You'll be touched, moved, and motivated
(00:29):
by Adam and his guests so that you too can
foster your own success and catapult to the pinnacle of
success in any area of your life. Here's your host,
Doctor Adam Starks.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome to Fostering Success with doctor Adam Starks. Today we
are talking about being in the right place where you
are right now. I'm sitting here in Phillippy, West Virginia,
and I often ponder whether or not I'm in the
right place now. My story didn't necessarily start here, but
(01:10):
I will get into that in the moment. Think about
where you're at at this time, and it could be
any place in the world right We move constantly as humans.
We have always been explorers by nature. Most of that
was due to our hunting and gathering ancestors, and many
(01:37):
of us stay on the move throughout our lifetimes. It
is rare. It is becoming even more rare as the
world gets more accessible, whether it's through virtual settings or
opportunities that arise elsewhere. People are becoming more mobile. Now,
(02:04):
that does not necessarily mean that you can't achieve whatever
you want to achieve where you're at right now. Even
though I'm sitting here in Phillippi, West Virginia, it's not
known as the beacon of opportunity. However, I've been able
to achieve quite a feat over my six years in
(02:27):
residents here. Now. There are some days where I'd leave
for a klondike bar, and there are other days when
I realize the value of being in a rural town
that just likes to take life one day at a time.
(02:48):
And that's really more my speed. Because I think about
the time when I worked in Washington, d C. And
when I lived in the dmv AK Virginia, DC, Maryland, Virginia.
All Right, I trecked and traveled through the treacherous traffic
(03:10):
on I sixty six going to work in d C.
And so I would sit in traffic for anywhere from
to to four hours a day. That wasn't really delight
for me. I grew up in a rural country Rappahannock, Virginia.
Before that, I started my life in California, which I
(03:33):
still remember vividly. I recount a lot of those details
in my autobiography, Broken Child, Mended Man. But that did
not define who I ended up becoming. And so, you know,
even though I'm ambitious, I'm not going to the city,
(03:57):
you know, assert myself as this dominant force and I'm
going to be successful no matter what kind of guy. No.
I kind of took a slow back approach to success.
And really, while that was my route, that's not necessarily
(04:18):
the route that's going to work for you. Millions of
people move into various cities across America every day, looking
for opportunity, looking for ways to become more successful than
they were wherever else they were at. And millions of
us moved throughout the country. And I'm talking just about
(04:41):
America here. We moved throughout our country, you know, all
the time. A year after year. Now, my adult life
started off in Harrisonburg, Virginia, and I like to think
back sometimes, you know, what would have happened had I
(05:03):
stayed there, Had I stayed there and committed to that community,
committed to my first home that I had there. Well,
there are a lot of advantage advantages to staying there,
but I didn't, right, So there's really no reason to
(05:23):
reflect on it other than to tell you this story.
I left for an opportunity, so incomes Winchester, Virginia. Things
didn't work out as planned. The job that I had
at the time as a manager of Panera Bread dangled
a carry the joint venture partnership out in front of me.
(05:45):
I went for it. It was pulled away and things just
did not work out. So I ended up leaving that position,
and here I am in Winchester, Virginia, wondering what's next.
I wasn't especially crazy about the place. It is a
beautiful area, Shenandoah region. You know, you've got the mountains,
(06:07):
you've got access to nature, you've got access to you know,
all of the amenities that you need. Which was just
a hop, skip and jump away, which is fantastic. All right.
It was convenient, it was beautiful, but there was just
something about it that I just didn't feel it was
(06:28):
right for me. So on, go on, we go to Martinsburg,
West Virginia. All right, I'm still commuting back and forth
to d C. But I really couldn't make sense of
my family staying there, and so my wife got the idea, Hey,
let's move to Pittsburgh. You know, Pittsburgh's an exciting city.
(06:51):
It was relatively affordable, and we did that for a
little while. Now, keep in mind, we had kids as well,
and I'm still trying to figure out my way. And
I'm telling you this story because we think, oh, if
we just move, we can then become successful, you know.
(07:16):
And here's what I want to tell you before I
finish this story. The grass is always greener somewhere else,
all right, And you know I wish right now, you know,
it's it's cold. It's a cold, winter, blustery day here
in West Virginia. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm
thinking about the beach. I was in at the beach
(07:38):
in July and Junia and July, and it was fantastic.
And you know, I love the warmth. I love the
sun hit hitting my skin, and you know, everything was
just great. You know, my family was happy, and we
were doing activities and yeah, things were you know, looking up,
(08:02):
you know, because the sun was shining every day and
that that was all I needed at the time. However, right,
it's not affordable, and it's not like North Carolina or
California doesn't come with their own share of challenges, including affordability, right,
which is one of the reasons I ended up in
(08:24):
West Virginia. So now I have a home that I'm
going to pay off before I'm fifty, and I have,
you know, access to nature and just a taking life
day at one day at a time, which is more
my pace, all right. For you. You may be that fast,
you know, got to go right now kind of person
(08:45):
and you know, need access to all these amenities and
things like that, and that's fantastic, you know, and I
admire that, and my advice to you is go for
it and make sure that you're happy, and you know,
make sure that you have a route to success. That
being said, I do miss culture, the music, the excitement,
(09:14):
striking up a conversation with a person who absolutely loves
books and they're a complete stranger, and I miss that
part about DC. But that's not to say that I
can't get that here. It's just not going to be
the same cultural aspects. For example, I am a one
(09:41):
of a handful of black men that live here, and
so my cultural experiences are not going to be the
same as others, even though I can relate to them
in terms of how I grew up in the countryside
and how I grew up with a similar sets of challenges.
(10:03):
That's about where it ends, all right. What I want
now in life is much different from what many of
them want in life, and so you have to give
and take. And so that means I have to travel,
but I can always come back to this safe haven
so to speak with my family, knowing I can afford
(10:25):
to live here and knowing I can do whatever I
need to do to focus on what will make me
successful and achieving my dreams. And so that's what I
want for you. And going back to that story, all right,
we landed in Pittsburgh. I try to make inroads there
(10:46):
with the community. I tried to start a nonprofit. I
was still working in DC. Now you're talking about to
the four hour commute turning into a consistent six hour commute.
So I ended up being one of the supercommuters, and
that was not an ideal lifestyle that to me, was
not success in any shape or form. Yes I was
(11:11):
making great money, Yes I was you know, a stone's
throw away from six figures a year. But man, I
was miserable, you know, and going into that great cubicle,
you know, day in and day out, I just I
didn't see the point of it. And that is part
(11:31):
of what inspired this podcast and my willingness to false
success for others, because I don't want anyone to have
to go through that process, right, and I feel like
sharing my story will empower you to avoid my missteps. Right.
(11:53):
So that's where we're at right now with that, And
so that's where I'm at. I'm completely satisfied with the
decisions that I've made in the journey I've taken to
get here, because look, I can't change it, right, so
I'm going to have to accept it and learn from it.
(12:14):
And now I'm at a mental state where I can
focus on what I should have been doing all along,
and that I love about myself, and that is a
feeling that I want you to have as well. All Right.
So I've always been a wandering spirit, you know. The
world fascinates me, New experiences fascinate me, but it doesn't
(12:41):
necessarily make me successful. And remember what I said about
the grass always being greener somewhere else, all right, And
that's human nature. We get excited in a new space.
I mean not all of us are terrified of it.
You know, I live among people who have never left
this county, and as gorgeous as West Virginia is, that's
(13:03):
not for me. That's not something that I would want.
I want to visit Tokyo one day. I want to,
you know, go go the Fiji or you know, see
the Great Wall of China. And you know, I've been
to Europe. I've been to well, not Europe, but the
UK in Scotland, I've been to Jamaica. I'm going to
(13:24):
Belieze next year. That stuff excites me, and that's not
for everyone. But you get to decide. You know who
you are. And I'm not saying get up and move
to be successful. What I'm saying is look at your
surroundings way the positives and the negatives, and determine if
(13:50):
you can be successful there, if you can great and
if I can be successful here in Philippy, what Virginia.
You know, by my own right, you might be able
to be successful where you're at. And if not, make
a plan to move. Make a plan. And now I'm
(14:13):
not saying I'm going to stay here forever. That's quite
honestly not what I want. But if that happens, I
can still achieve what I need to be successful right
on my terms right And that's what I want you
to determine on your terms way the positives and the
(14:34):
negatives of where you're at right now, and determine if
you can achieve success in the place you're at right now,
right There are trade offs. Like I said when I
was in the city, I love the excitement of DC.
(14:55):
I love the culture and you know, being able to
grab different types of food, different types of wine, and
just explore through taste and feel and sight and just
everything that it had to offer. Could not stand the traffic.
(15:17):
Waiting in traffic was just such a waste of time.
And even if I was listening to the radio or
an audio book or something like that the past the time,
I was losing a lot of time with my family,
which I've said in earlier episodes that is part of
my success, being able to break the cycle and by
(15:39):
being there for my children. Obviously, I could not do
that on the road as much as I was, and
I was missing their events, so I had to make
a change, a conscious change. Now, I want you to
think about this as I finish up here, all right.
One of the key to success is being at the
(16:02):
right place at the right time. But success isn't necessarily
a fleeting moment. Yeah, you may have an opportunity and
you have to make a split decision as to whether
you're going to go for it or not. And if
you don't, you're saying that you're okay with the status quo.
(16:23):
All right, So it's not a fleeting moment necessarily as
much as it is a state of mind, all right.
Being at the right place is a state of mind
more so than it is an actual place, because you
(16:44):
can achieve in this day and age, in our digital age,
you can achieve what you want where you're at for
the most part, unless you're surrounded by a toxic of people,
naysayers and cynics, which Lord knows, I have my share
(17:06):
surrounding me, but they don't dictate what I want to achieve.
They are not the ones holding me back. Ultimately, it's
my mindset, all right, and that's something that I have
the power to adjust, and so that you Until next time,
(17:28):
thank you for listening to fostering Success.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
So that's it for today's episode. Head on over to
iTunes and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every
single week that posts a review in iTunes will win
a chance to win the grand prize drawing for a
private VIP day with doctor Adam Starks himself. Be sure
to head on over to Fosteringsuccess podcast dot com and
(17:55):
pick up a free copy of Adam's Gift and join
us on the next episode.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.