Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
If you've suffered with fear, doubt, worry, or lack of
confidence in your life, then this podcast is for you.
In fostering success. Doctor Adam Starks, having risen himself from
the foster care system to the pinnacle of success in life,
shares his blueprint in this podcast and interviews inspiring individuals
from around the world. You'll be touched, moved, and motivated
(00:29):
by Adam and his guests so that you too can
foster your own success and catapult to the pinnacle of
success in any area of your life. Here's your host,
doctor Adam Starks.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Thank you for joining me on this very first episode
of twenty twenty two. I'm your host, doctor Adam Starks,
and we are going to talk about resolutions. It's the
new Year, New you, right, Okay, we've heard that cliche before. However,
(01:07):
while there's nothing wrong with setting goals, you don't need
a new year to do that. You can do that
anytime you please. But most of the people see this
as an opportunity to change what they may or may
not like about themselves. And for me, I used to
(01:30):
fall into that trap, and I set myself up for
failure because I'd set too many goals too many resolutions,
And it doesn't matter how many you set as long
as they're achievable, but it does matter how you approach
those resolutions. So, for instance, if you say I'm going
(01:53):
to lose twenty pounds or fifty pounds or one hundred
pounds this year, and you go out and get a
gym membership, that's all well and good, all right, and
that's a logical way to do it, but it may
not be the most practical way. And what I mean
by that is if you're not used to working out,
(02:16):
and you go into gym and hit all of the
machines for leg day and say, you know what, I'm
feeling pretty good while i'm here, I might as well
get arm day two. And you wake up the next
day in pain and can barely move. It is highly
unlikely you're going to stay or stick with that strategy
(02:38):
because it hurts, It hurts, and it sucks.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You're not changing anything else you're working out. Here's the
other thing that happens with diets is you plateau. Right.
You may be working out, you may be losing weight,
but it is well known that muscle weighs more than fat.
So if you're working out on these on the wrong
machines and not getting enough cardio, and you're pumping iron,
(03:06):
you know, lifts and squats and everything. You're gaining muscle,
and with that comes extra weight. So you're going to
get discouraged and quit going to the gym. All the meanwhile,
you never changed your eating habits, which is what led
to the additional weight in the first place. For me,
(03:29):
I graduated college at a one hundred and forty five pounds,
so I was a lightweight sixty three one hundred and
forty five pounds. Today I am still sixty three, but
I am two hundred and twenty pounds, so I could
stand to lose about twenty to thirty pounds. I'm probably
thirty and that is my goal. However, I had to
(03:51):
first and foremost change my diet. I have to stop
drinking soda. I have to stop, you know, eating eggs
are candy. I have to stop, you know, getting sweets
when I'm out, you know, instead of that honey bun,
maybe I should eat a granola bar. Now you and
(04:13):
I both know that doesn't sound as good the granola
bar over the honey bun. However, in moderation, you know,
I could probably afford a cheat day here and there.
My metabolism is still pretty high and so it wouldn't
be too much of an issue. However, my strategy instead
of going to the gym, I have plenty of equipment
(04:34):
here and I can do push ups and sit ups
and things that don't necessarily require equipment. I can walk,
I can run, so on and so forth. However, I
need to change my diet. I don't need McDonald's three
or four times a week, once a week, once a month, maybe,
(04:55):
but I don't need it all the time. I don't
need to go down to Harthy's for breakfast. And I'm
not knocking fast food. You know, it's fine in moderation,
but I am saying, if you eat it more than
three or four times a week, it is going to
be a problem. And it's going to be a problem
(05:15):
that shows up eventually in additional weight that you don't want.
So I have to change my mindset, right, I have
to change my diet. And in order to do that,
I have looked at shakes and supplements and that's what
I'm into now. So I have a shake in the morning,
(05:35):
I have a shaken afternoon, and then I eat dinner
with my family. That is working for me so far,
so far. I started this, I didn't wait till the
new year. I knew I had to get started right away,
and so I started in November and I've dropped ten pounds.
So that's a good start, right, all right. I'm not
(05:57):
putting on muscle. I don't need more muscle because I'm
not I'm not athletic anymore. I'm in my forties and
so I don't really need that additional muscle. What I
need to do is tone up, and so you know,
I'm on cardio. I'm doing what I need to do. However,
that's just one example. So my goal here before you
(06:20):
leave today is to have you understand that don't make resolutions,
all right, Instead, create small goals that are achievable and
form new habits. All right. Ultimately that's what's within your control.
You know, we can't. It's easy to say I'm going
to drop one hundred pounds. However, it's a journey. It's
(06:42):
a process, and you have to decide how you're going
to get there, and the best way to do that
is through small changes in your lifestyle. So the goal
is changed, but change isn't always possible in your current
(07:03):
situation or surroundings. Okay, again, I looked at that, you
know when I talked about finding your tribe. All right,
look around you, look who is around you, and determine
are they the best fit for the changes that you
(07:23):
want to make to get to the place you want
to go. Right, some people will hold you back, and
if they see you changing, they it's human nature to
reject change, right. The status quo is always fine. If
it ain't broke, don't fix it. Right, that's incorrect, it's
(07:46):
not right, all right. Humans should be changing, we should
be evolving. If you're the same person you are at
forty as you were at twenty, you're missing out on
the entire purpose of life and the entire meaning of success.
And I say that because whoever's taking care of you
(08:08):
now won't always be there. Right. We age, we pass away,
Things happen unexpectedly, and that's just the way it is.
So take a look at your surroundings. And that's the
first step that I took. That's the first step I
(08:29):
take every year. So I'm here in Philippi, West Virginia.
I've had some successes. I've had some failures. I had
to do some self reflection and learn learn about what
what I could be doing better, what can I do
(08:50):
to change, what can I do to grow as a person,
Because now I'm forty, I don't want to be the
same person I am now, as you know i'll be
when I'm sixty. I want to be wiser. I want
to be a mentor to others and help them avoid
the same mistakes that I made. And that's how we
(09:13):
should all be holding each other accountable and you know,
embracing each other and steering clear of loneliness and being
part of our social communities. So here's what I'm doing.
I am burning bridges. That's right. You heard it. You
(09:34):
heard it right here on fostering success. I am burning bridges. Right.
There are some people who are so toxic I don't
want them involved in my life in any way, shape
or form, Okay, and they need to go and that
they were not conducive to my success, and they were
(09:56):
not they were not good for me mentally, spiritually, emotionally.
I had to cut them out of my life. And
that's just the way it is. And sometimes it's as
simple as unfriending on Facebook or unfollowing on Twitter or Instagram,
and sometimes it's just you know, getting completely out of
(10:20):
that circle. If you know that they hang somewhere, you know,
don't go there anymore. It's not for you. Find another space,
another space with better people. And that's what I've done.
So I've maintained relationships with the people who can help
me see the best in myself and not bring out
the worst in me. Trust the experts. All right, this
(10:44):
is another thing I'm doing. You know, I thought when
I operated my restaurant here, I thought I had to
do everything myself, and that should have never been the case.
And there's a long story that goes into that that
I won't bore you with here. Here I will tell you.
I will put a shameless plug in here. My book Vaultered,
will be out on January twenty first. That highlights all
(11:09):
of the mess that I went through operating my own business.
But now, one of the things, one of the most
valuable things I learned from that was trusting the experts.
So I've had an app application in my mind for
about five years now and I haven't implemented it. I
(11:29):
hadn't done anything with it because I thought I had
to do it all myself. So I found a team
of experts. They're doing the work, and they're doing fantastic work,
and it's going to catapult me to the financial success
that I've been dreaming of for a long time now.
(11:50):
I'm also going to keep failing, which is my phrase
for trying new things. You know. I would love to
learn how to play an instrument. I'm going to be
doing new things with my kids, and I am so
excited for that. I'm excited about the possibilities, you know,
(12:13):
because it's not what if I fail, it's what if
I succeed? And I love the thought of that. You know.
I'm doing a show with my daughter right now. It's
titled story Time with Susannah's Dad, and it's a fun
little thing we do on YouTube. She wanted to do
it for months now and I finally gave in and
(12:34):
we're doing it and it's cute. It's cute, see and
that you know, it's geared towards her. We're reading books
in her room and it's something new and way out
of my comfort zone. But for her, I'm willing to
do that. And when I feel my best is when
I'm doing something for others, even if it's outside of
(12:54):
my comfort zone. So I encourage you to try it,
try something new, try doing something for someone else. You
know your boundaries, you know your limitations, but I'm saying
get outside of your comfort zone every once in a while,
especially if it's for your kids or a family member
that you hold dearly. All Right, I'm going to embrace
(13:18):
more success. I expect twenty twenty two to be the
year that I finally embrace success. And what I mean
by that is I'm going out on speaking towards I'm
writing more books. I'm not going to be afraid of
(13:38):
success anymore. And we talked about that in earlier episodes,
and I encourage you to listen to that one if
you haven't already. But I'm going to embrace it. I'm
going to welcome it. And finally, I'm going to curb
my tech lust. I call this tech lust. It's basically
my addiction to my phone. How many of us have this,
(14:01):
and how many of us have grown increasing increasingly disconnected
from one another. All Right, I'm just going to put
it out there. I waste way too much time on
my phone, and that is cutting into my potential success
and I can't have that anymore. So I've decided that
it will be on rare certain occasions that I will
(14:25):
jump on social media and stay there for more than
five or ten minutes at a time. It's just the
way it has to be until I can achieve everything
that's in my head and get it out into the
world where it belongs. All right, now, thinking about that,
I want to turn back to you, So you're free
(14:48):
to take any of those those small goals that I
have and new habits I'm going to form. You're welcome
to take any of those for yourself, and as a
matter of fact, I encourage go for it. But here's
some other simple task for you to consider. Less TV.
As I mentioned before, finding your tribe, you're not going
(15:10):
to find them binging Netflix and Hulu, all right, or
watching every sports you know, all the way through the
season and all the way through the championship right the
way it's staged now. You'll be there on your couch
pretty much all day and all night, all right, whether
it's the NHL, MLB, NFL, March Madness, and the sports
(15:36):
just go on and on and on. So take some
time for yourself to turn the TV off. And be
more aware of your surroundings. You may surprise yourself. All right,
read more, go out in nature more all right, you know,
go out there and get reconnected with yourself. Spend some
(15:57):
time with yourself. I know when I get up in
the more, typically I look right at my phone, and
it's usually some bad news that's happened at mass casualty
event or something to that effect. If it bleeds, it
leads right, and news is filled with fear factoring bad
(16:18):
news that is generally just a horrible way to start
your day. You know, it could be on Facebook, and
you know you're looking at someone else live their life
and that's all well and good. You know, I appreciate
a good family photo just as much as the next person.
But getting on that screen first thing in the morning
(16:39):
is not doing something for you. It's just a bad
habit that's been formed. So I would encourage you to
instead take time, go downstairs, get a glass of water,
and just be be alone in your thoughts. Set your
(17:01):
tone for the day, a positive affirmation. It could be
something is, man, I love my eyes, or I love
my voice, or you know what, I look good today,
I feel good today, And say those positive affirmations to
(17:21):
yourself at least once a day. And one of the
things I've taken on is meditation, just quietness and being
still and being present in the moment. It's powerful. It's
powerful stuff, and it has been shown to change your
brain in positive ways and it helps you mellow out
(17:43):
throughout the day. So if you have anxiety or you
suffer from depression like I do, that is a good
good way to combat it and help you face whatever
the day brings. And lastly, practice kindness with yourself and
with others. That is the most surefire way to success.
(18:08):
And if you cannot be around people where you can
practice kindness, steer clear of those people and find others
where you can practice kindness because it will do wonders
for your mental and emotional state, and more importantly, it
(18:29):
will set you up for success. Listen, I'm excited about
the possibilities for this year. And one of the things
I saw throughout social media as yet, you know, Archbishop
Desmond too too passed away, and Betty White passed away,
and some other icons passed away, and they said, well,
(18:49):
this isn't a good omen going into twenty twenty two.
And I say, you know, The thing about celebrities, especially
celebrity deaths catch us, catches society off guard, is they
are people just like us. And to paraphrase Robert Frost,
you know that's the thing about life is it goes on.
(19:13):
All right. We're here now, we're without those icons, but
we still have a responsibility to live life to the
fullest and do our part, which is more than just
CouchSurfing and scrolling through social media and wasting ample amounts
(19:39):
of time that we could be using that to help
one another. And that's my goal for this year. The
more people I can help, the more successful I will be.
So they just think about that for a moment and
think about what you want to accomplish. And if you
(19:59):
have to say it up for a year, set it
up for a year twenty twenty two. You know, I
wouldn't go out and say, you know, this is this
is my year, all right? Every year is your year.
Every year that you're alive is a gift, and it's
a gift that should not be wasted. And if you
(20:20):
take that mantra and you run with it, you will
see the best version of yourself until next time. Thank
you for listening to Fostering Success.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
So that's it for today's episode. Head on over to
iTunes and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every
single week to post a review in iTunes, we'll win
a chance to win the grand prize drawing for a
private VIP day with doctor Adams Starks himself. Be sure
to head on over to Fostering Success podcast dot com
and pick up a free copy of Adam's Gift and
(21:00):
join us on the next episode.