August 7, 2025 • 13 mins
If you haven’t reached your peak potential in life because fear, doubt, or a lack of self-confidence have been holding you back, then this podcast is for you.
Fostering Success will help you discover that you are the VICTOR not the Victim in your life regardless of your circumstances.
Adam Starks, your host, weaves through the trials and tribulations that he’s endured in life, including rising out of the foster care system to reach the pinnacle of success in his chosen field. He has since dedicated his life to helping others overcome their obstacles to achieve their true calling and purpose in life by “fostering” their success. You’ll be listening to the authentic voice of someone who’s actually been there and done what you’re looking to do so you two can reach for AND achieve the pinnacle of success in every area of your life.
Not only will you be inspired and motivated to take the necessary next steps to achieve your definition of success. Adam Starks will teach, train, coach, and , mentor you along the path in each and every inspiring episode.
Fostering Success will help you discover that you are the VICTOR not the Victim in your life regardless of your circumstances.
Adam Starks, your host, weaves through the trials and tribulations that he’s endured in life, including rising out of the foster care system to reach the pinnacle of success in his chosen field. He has since dedicated his life to helping others overcome their obstacles to achieve their true calling and purpose in life by “fostering” their success. You’ll be listening to the authentic voice of someone who’s actually been there and done what you’re looking to do so you two can reach for AND achieve the pinnacle of success in every area of your life.
Not only will you be inspired and motivated to take the necessary next steps to achieve your definition of success. Adam Starks will teach, train, coach, and , mentor you along the path in each and every inspiring episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
If you've suffered with fear, doubt, worry, or lack of
confidence in your life, then this podcast is for you.
In Fostering Success, Doctor Adam Starks, having risen himself from
the foster care system to the pinnacle of success in life,
shares his blueprint in this podcast and interviews inspiring individuals
from around the world. You'll be touched, moved, and motivated
(00:29):
by Adam and his guests so that you too can
foster your own success and catapult to the pinnacle of
success in any area of your life. Here's your host,
doctor Adam Starks.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome to another episode of Fostering Success. I'm your gracious host,
doctor Adam Starks, and today we are talking about within
your control. The world is overwhelming when you think about
(01:08):
everything that's going on, much of it is outside of
your control. And so today we're talking about achieving balance
by making sure that you focus on things within your control,
and that is what's going to create the ripple effect
(01:32):
of kindness and the world that you want to see.
One of my favorite books is titled The Four Agreements,
and this is by Don Miguel Ruiz and I'll read
this book every year just as a subtle reminder because
(01:52):
the world and the situation's going on, especially surrounding COVID
nineteen and all of its variants. Here we are nearly
two years into this and the world still hasn't got
a handle on it, and that can create a tremendous
(02:14):
amount of stress and anxiety and even grief if you've
lost a loved one due to this virus. But we
really need to focus on things that are within our
control and within our grasp of responsibility. So with the coronavirus,
(02:35):
if you are stressed about it, you may wear a mask,
you may not go out as much. You may you know,
there's a variety of things that you could be doing
to take care of yourself, and in turn, that takes
care of others. So wearing a mask prevents us from
spreading the disease. Getting vaccinations if we can get our
(02:59):
rates up high enough, will lead to her community and
so on and so forth. And we need to take
care of one another. But we can only do so
much of that. You know, one of the things I do,
since I can't feed all of the hungry children, that's
something that's near and dear to me. But obviously I
(03:23):
can't address all of that need. And so what I'll
do is donate what I can afford to no kid
hungry or feeding America. And I'll let them the experts,
and you know they have the logistics and distributive supply
(03:45):
chain to make sure that food gets in the hands
of those who need it, especially children, And so I
donate to them. And that is the best I can do.
That is something that good that I can do that
makes me feel better, that is within my control. So
getting back to this book, the four Agreements, and this
(04:09):
is where I want you to start, is these four
simple steps. And if you do these things, that will
start the ripple effect. Think about throwing a pebble into
a pond and the beautiful circular ripples that that creates.
(04:29):
All right, so we are going to do these things.
We're going to commit to these and make them habits.
These four agreements, and these are with yourself. This is
no one else, no one needs to be around, no
one needs to witness it. This is you and things
that you can do within you to control what you can.
(04:56):
The first one, be impeccable with your So that means,
in short, speak with integrity. That means if you say
you're going to be somewhere, be there. And this can
be something as simple as showing up for your job
(05:17):
that you no longer want, but you still have a
responsibility to do that to the best of your ability. Look,
when I started at a shoe store working for five
point fifteen an hour, which was minimum wage at the time.
That is, I knew right then that that's not what
I wanted for the rest of my life, not just
(05:40):
a minimum wage but selling shoes. But I went in
as a teenager and I did it to the best
of my ability, day in and day out, and establishing
that work ethic led to better opportunities down the line
because I I was impeccable with my word when I
(06:02):
signed up for that job. I showed up every day.
And that's what you need to do for your friends
and your family, your tribe, so to speak. And you
need to work on being impeccable with your word. That's
(06:25):
within your control. If you say you're going to be somewhere,
be there for that person, and they in turn will
be there for you, hopefully if they're listening to this
podcast along with you. Okay, that being said, let's get
on to the next one. I want you to think
about that though, be impeccable with your word. So the
(06:48):
next one in Ruiz's agreements list of agreements is don't
take anything personally. Look whatever people think about you, it
usually has more to say about them than it does
about you. We can get caught up in the drama
and the gossip chain, and or we can just say,
(07:11):
you know, hold our hands up and say, you know what,
this is beyond my boundaries that I have established for myself.
I am not going to engage with this kind of
behavior because it's negative. It puts off negative vibes in
(07:31):
my space, and I'm not here for it. I don't
have time for it. It does not contribute to my success. Therefore,
I am not going to become a part of this.
So if someone says something negative about you, you ultimately
have the choice to engage or disengage. And I'm not
(07:55):
saying sit here and ignore it, because you know, with
social media, things, especially rumors at a local level and
beyond if you're a celebrity, can spread like wildfire, and
we don't want that because your reputation matters, and yes,
at times you need to defend it. What I'm saying
(08:18):
for instance, folks here at the local level. No matter
what I do, it's not good enough. But I am
doing more than they are to address some of the
problems and challenges that we have in our community. And
not everything is announced. Sometimes it's a secret donation. Sometimes
(08:42):
I'm helping volunteer and just not mentioning. I'm not mentioning
it on social media or anywhere else. I'm just doing
the little bit of good I can with a little
bit of time that I have in dedicating that to
my community to make it a better place. I have
(09:08):
the choice to focus on people who say, well, you know,
he's this or he's that, But there's no need to
engage them because they are small minded thinkers, and if
I engage with them, that makes me a small minded thinker.
(09:28):
And they're not part of my tribe. So why would
I give them the time of day, my precious time
trying to defend myself in order to justify myself to them.
There's no need for me to justify myself to them.
I have my tribe, so therefore I don't need these
(09:51):
negative cynics or pessimists in my circle. Get it. I
think you do all right, and I think you know
some people like that within your circle. Don't make assumptions. Again,
that's what the negative people who say things about you
(10:16):
or may judge you, they're making assumptions. They don't know
your entire life story. Now, some people know my entire
life story because I dedicated an entire autobiography to it,
Broken child, minded man, and so they know my story
and that has helped them develop compassion for those who
(10:39):
you know, can't necessarily pull themselves up by their bootstraps
because they may not have a community or a social
circle rallying around them and championing them for you know,
just encouraging them to get through the day and to
get through life life and make something of themselves and
(11:03):
you know, see their potential and cheer them on. However,
it's much easier to judge and make assumptions about other
people even if we don't know them. Now, that's going
to contradict a little bit about what I said about
being negative, But what I want you to understand. The
(11:25):
difference here is you don't want to bring yourself to
that level of making assumptions and then therefore that person
is not good enough or that person is not you know,
on your level so to speak. Now we can lift
others up, and I'm willing to do that to people
(11:46):
who are not in my circle. The thousands of people
listening to this podcast. Now, you're not necessarily in my circle,
but I want to help you. And I'm not passing
judgment and on you just yet, all right, because it's
not my place to pass judgment on you. I don't
(12:07):
know your story, but I do know your value as
a human being. You have value, and you are worthy
of being here, and you are worthy of success. That's
what I do know. But I'm not going to make
an assumption based on what you have or have not achieved.
And lastly, always do your best. This comes back to
(12:31):
what I was talking about being in a shoe story.
That was my first job, and I know I did
not want to be there forever. But while I was there,
while I was given the opportunity, I made the best
of it and that led to other opportunities, again stepping stones.
So always do your best no matter where you're at,
(12:54):
and everything will eventually fall into place. Will be successful
in your own right. Thanks for listening. Until next time,
keep fostering your success.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
So that's it for today's episode. Head on over to
iTunes and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every
single week that posts a review in iTunes, we'll win
a chance to win the grand prize drawing for a
private VIP day with doctor Adam Starks himself. Be sure
to head on over to Fostering Success podcast dot com
and pick up a free copy of Adam's Gift and
(13:36):
join us on the next episode.
If you've suffered with fear, doubt, worry, or lack of
confidence in your life, then this podcast is for you.
In Fostering Success, Doctor Adam Starks, having risen himself from
the foster care system to the pinnacle of success in life,
shares his blueprint in this podcast and interviews inspiring individuals
from around the world. You'll be touched, moved, and motivated
(00:29):
by Adam and his guests so that you too can
foster your own success and catapult to the pinnacle of
success in any area of your life. Here's your host,
doctor Adam Starks.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome to another episode of Fostering Success. I'm your gracious host,
doctor Adam Starks, and today we are talking about within
your control. The world is overwhelming when you think about
(01:08):
everything that's going on, much of it is outside of
your control. And so today we're talking about achieving balance
by making sure that you focus on things within your control,
and that is what's going to create the ripple effect
(01:32):
of kindness and the world that you want to see.
One of my favorite books is titled The Four Agreements,
and this is by Don Miguel Ruiz and I'll read
this book every year just as a subtle reminder because
(01:52):
the world and the situation's going on, especially surrounding COVID
nineteen and all of its variants. Here we are nearly
two years into this and the world still hasn't got
a handle on it, and that can create a tremendous
(02:14):
amount of stress and anxiety and even grief if you've
lost a loved one due to this virus. But we
really need to focus on things that are within our
control and within our grasp of responsibility. So with the coronavirus,
(02:35):
if you are stressed about it, you may wear a mask,
you may not go out as much. You may you know,
there's a variety of things that you could be doing
to take care of yourself, and in turn, that takes
care of others. So wearing a mask prevents us from
spreading the disease. Getting vaccinations if we can get our
(02:59):
rates up high enough, will lead to her community and
so on and so forth. And we need to take
care of one another. But we can only do so
much of that. You know, one of the things I do,
since I can't feed all of the hungry children, that's
something that's near and dear to me. But obviously I
(03:23):
can't address all of that need. And so what I'll
do is donate what I can afford to no kid
hungry or feeding America. And I'll let them the experts,
and you know they have the logistics and distributive supply
(03:45):
chain to make sure that food gets in the hands
of those who need it, especially children, And so I
donate to them. And that is the best I can do.
That is something that good that I can do that
makes me feel better, that is within my control. So
getting back to this book, the four Agreements, and this
(04:09):
is where I want you to start, is these four
simple steps. And if you do these things, that will
start the ripple effect. Think about throwing a pebble into
a pond and the beautiful circular ripples that that creates.
(04:29):
All right, so we are going to do these things.
We're going to commit to these and make them habits.
These four agreements, and these are with yourself. This is
no one else, no one needs to be around, no
one needs to witness it. This is you and things
that you can do within you to control what you can.
(04:56):
The first one, be impeccable with your So that means,
in short, speak with integrity. That means if you say
you're going to be somewhere, be there. And this can
be something as simple as showing up for your job
(05:17):
that you no longer want, but you still have a
responsibility to do that to the best of your ability. Look,
when I started at a shoe store working for five
point fifteen an hour, which was minimum wage at the time.
That is, I knew right then that that's not what
I wanted for the rest of my life, not just
(05:40):
a minimum wage but selling shoes. But I went in
as a teenager and I did it to the best
of my ability, day in and day out, and establishing
that work ethic led to better opportunities down the line
because I I was impeccable with my word when I
(06:02):
signed up for that job. I showed up every day.
And that's what you need to do for your friends
and your family, your tribe, so to speak. And you
need to work on being impeccable with your word. That's
(06:25):
within your control. If you say you're going to be somewhere,
be there for that person, and they in turn will
be there for you, hopefully if they're listening to this
podcast along with you. Okay, that being said, let's get
on to the next one. I want you to think
about that though, be impeccable with your word. So the
(06:48):
next one in Ruiz's agreements list of agreements is don't
take anything personally. Look whatever people think about you, it
usually has more to say about them than it does
about you. We can get caught up in the drama
and the gossip chain, and or we can just say,
(07:11):
you know, hold our hands up and say, you know what,
this is beyond my boundaries that I have established for myself.
I am not going to engage with this kind of
behavior because it's negative. It puts off negative vibes in
(07:31):
my space, and I'm not here for it. I don't
have time for it. It does not contribute to my success. Therefore,
I am not going to become a part of this.
So if someone says something negative about you, you ultimately
have the choice to engage or disengage. And I'm not
(07:55):
saying sit here and ignore it, because you know, with
social media, things, especially rumors at a local level and
beyond if you're a celebrity, can spread like wildfire, and
we don't want that because your reputation matters, and yes,
at times you need to defend it. What I'm saying
(08:18):
for instance, folks here at the local level. No matter
what I do, it's not good enough. But I am
doing more than they are to address some of the
problems and challenges that we have in our community. And
not everything is announced. Sometimes it's a secret donation. Sometimes
(08:42):
I'm helping volunteer and just not mentioning. I'm not mentioning
it on social media or anywhere else. I'm just doing
the little bit of good I can with a little
bit of time that I have in dedicating that to
my community to make it a better place. I have
(09:08):
the choice to focus on people who say, well, you know,
he's this or he's that, But there's no need to
engage them because they are small minded thinkers, and if
I engage with them, that makes me a small minded thinker.
(09:28):
And they're not part of my tribe. So why would
I give them the time of day, my precious time
trying to defend myself in order to justify myself to them.
There's no need for me to justify myself to them.
I have my tribe, so therefore I don't need these
(09:51):
negative cynics or pessimists in my circle. Get it. I
think you do all right, and I think you know
some people like that within your circle. Don't make assumptions. Again,
that's what the negative people who say things about you
(10:16):
or may judge you, they're making assumptions. They don't know
your entire life story. Now, some people know my entire
life story because I dedicated an entire autobiography to it,
Broken child, minded man, and so they know my story
and that has helped them develop compassion for those who
(10:39):
you know, can't necessarily pull themselves up by their bootstraps
because they may not have a community or a social
circle rallying around them and championing them for you know,
just encouraging them to get through the day and to
get through life life and make something of themselves and
(11:03):
you know, see their potential and cheer them on. However,
it's much easier to judge and make assumptions about other
people even if we don't know them. Now, that's going
to contradict a little bit about what I said about
being negative, But what I want you to understand. The
(11:25):
difference here is you don't want to bring yourself to
that level of making assumptions and then therefore that person
is not good enough or that person is not you know,
on your level so to speak. Now we can lift
others up, and I'm willing to do that to people
(11:46):
who are not in my circle. The thousands of people
listening to this podcast. Now, you're not necessarily in my circle,
but I want to help you. And I'm not passing
judgment and on you just yet, all right, because it's
not my place to pass judgment on you. I don't
(12:07):
know your story, but I do know your value as
a human being. You have value, and you are worthy
of being here, and you are worthy of success. That's
what I do know. But I'm not going to make
an assumption based on what you have or have not achieved.
And lastly, always do your best. This comes back to
(12:31):
what I was talking about being in a shoe story.
That was my first job, and I know I did
not want to be there forever. But while I was there,
while I was given the opportunity, I made the best
of it and that led to other opportunities, again stepping stones.
So always do your best no matter where you're at,
(12:54):
and everything will eventually fall into place. Will be successful
in your own right. Thanks for listening. Until next time,
keep fostering your success.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
So that's it for today's episode. Head on over to
iTunes and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every
single week that posts a review in iTunes, we'll win
a chance to win the grand prize drawing for a
private VIP day with doctor Adam Starks himself. Be sure
to head on over to Fostering Success podcast dot com
and pick up a free copy of Adam's Gift and
(13:36):
join us on the next episode.
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