EP #65 The Path to Personal and Professional Harmony

Ever feel like you're sacrificing your personal joy on the altar of professional success? Shelita Duke of SheWin Unlimited challenges this damaging mindset as she shares her journey from government professional to fractional COO and personal success strategist.

Drawing from her 30+ years of experience in policy, operations, and compliance, Shelita now specializes in people-centered operational transformation. Her mission? Empowering women to break free from self-sacrifice cycles while still achieving their professional goals. The name "SheWin" itself carries a beautiful story, originating from her maiden name Winfield and a cherished friendship that reminds us of the power of personal connection.

Shelita boldly confronts three pervasive myths holding women back: the false choice between personal and professional success, the trap of endless research without action, and the misguided belief that self-care is selfish. Her airplane oxygen mask analogy perfectly captures why we must prioritize our own wellbeing before helping others. Through vulnerable sharing about overcoming personal betrayal, Shelita demonstrates how challenging experiences can become sources of strength and wisdom rather than permanent setbacks.

What makes Shelita's approach unique is her focus on internal joy that can't be stolen by external circumstances. "Events happen to you, not in you," she reminds us, offering a powerful perspective shift for anyone facing challenges. Her advice for entrepreneurs cuts straight to the heart of personal accountability: when examining what's keeping you stuck, begin and end by looking in the mirror.

Ready to transform your approach to success? Connect with Shelita at [e-mail] or through her website at www.shewinunlimited.com and discover how to create harmony between all aspects of your life without sacrifice.

Shelita Duke

SheWin Unlimited

shewinunlimited.com

[e-mail]

[phone]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is the Fredericksburg Neighbors Podcast
, the place where localbusinesses and neighbors come
together.
Here's your host, Dori Stewart.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back to another episode of the FXBG
Neighbors Podcast, where weshare the stories of our
favorite local brands.
I'm excited to introduce myguest today.
We have Shelita Duke of SheWinUnlimited, joining us.
Shelita, welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Thank you, Dori.
I appreciate the invitation.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Well, I'm excited to learn all about you and your
business.
So let's start there.
Let's start by sharing with thelisteners a little bit about
SheW in unlimited absolutelywell.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
first I'll start with the story of where SheWin comes
from.
Like you said, I am ShelitaDuke.
My maiden name is Winfield.
So some years, decades ago, Ihad a friend.
Her name was Sheila Willis andshe was she will.
And as when I was ShelitaWinfield, I was She Win, and
that's what we called ourselves,and we didn't have a business
then.

(01:07):
We just were two friendsmessing around and that's where
it all came from.
She Win Unlimited is my nameand that's what it stands for,
and so the business is apersonal and professional
success strategist.
Success strategist that's whatI do, and in doing that I am

(01:29):
empowering women to break thecycle of self-sacrifice in the
name of success.
And on the business side ofthat, the professional side, I
am a fractional chief operatingofficer specializing in
people-centered operationaltransformation through change
management, culture andconnections.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Such important work and so needed.
So I'd love to hear more aboutthe backstory.
Tell us about your journey.
How did you get into this?

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, my journey, like mostother road trips, was not a
straight line.
It was not a straight route.
I got into personal successcoaching because I was always
strategizing with women who werecompletely frustrated that work
was getting in the way of thethings that they love to do, of
doing the things that broughtthem joy, things like family,

(02:23):
their friends doing ministry,their dreams, hope, joy.
You know, the things thatactually fuel your fire.
And so I got into thefractional side because, once I
retired, I realized that Ididn't have to sacrifice my
professional accomplishments asI pursued my personal endeavors.
This way of thinking is how Igot into the fractional

(02:48):
operations business and itallowed me to pivot while using
my 30 plus years of governmentexperience and the space of
policy, operations andcompliance.
And, just like I tell the womenthat I work with, I really can
have and do it all.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I love that.
I love that.
What a great message.
I love that.
So tell me, do you find thatthere are any myths or
misconceptions when it comes toyour business or the industry in
general?

Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, there are.
There are many.
I focus on the three that I seeare the most prevalent, and
that is the first myth ormisconception is that you have
to trade success in one area inorder to have success in another
area, and we don't have to dothat.
I don't have to sacrifice timewith my family or friends or

(03:43):
doing the things that I love inorder to build my career.
There has to be some level ofharmony or some level of balance
which I like to call harmony indoing all the things, but you
don't have to trade one.
I don't have to sacrifice onefor the other.
I don't have to sacrificemyself, my well-being, my health

(04:04):
, any of those things in orderto succeed in a professional
environment.
The second myth or ormisconception is that make sure
you research.
I am a researchaholic and whatI learned over time is that
doing a ton of research in factcan keep you from receiving the

(04:28):
things that you actually want.
I would go down this rabbithole looking and researching all
the things, putting all thethings together but not actually
pulling the trigger and notactually doing any things.
It was all research but noimplementation.
The third myth or misconceptionthat I found is that women don't

(04:50):
deserve to take time out forthemselves.
That is a lie.
We absolutely do deserve it, weneed it, we got to have it.
We need to make sure that as weare pouring into others, we are
pouring into ourselves.
I was recently on a planeflying around trip to Dallas

(05:10):
back and back home, and I wasreminded, and the safety
briefing, that you must put yourmask of oxygen on first before
you can help someone else, andit's no different.
See that as being any different.
I have to take care of myselffirst before I can take care of
anybody else, and so it is notselfish, it is not evil, it is

(05:34):
not a I choose me over everybodyelse mindset.
But in order for me to be thebest me for you, I have to be
the best me for me.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
I love that.
That's powerful.
I love it and I feel like youwere speaking to me.
I can sometimes get stuck inanalysis paralysis.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Absolutely.
Yeah, Okay, Shalita, I need toknow Clearly you work very hard
on your business.
When you're not working, whatare you doing for fun?

Speaker 3 (06:11):
People ask me this question all the time and I got
to tell you I love to travel.
That's why I became a traveladvisor.
I don't even talk about thatpart of the business, but I love
to travel.
I love the Caribbean.
It's a rejuvenation space forme, it is what fills my cup, and

(06:33):
when I'm on that beach soakingin that sun, with my feet in the
sand, looking at the ocean orthe pool or whatever it is, I am
so full and so filled.
So that is always my number onething in order for me to get
back to my own self.
So definitely the first thingwould be traveling.
The second thing is I watch alot of mindless TV because

(06:54):
obviously I can't travel all thetime.
So I watch a lot of mindless TVbecause, you know, obviously I
can't travel all the time.
So I watch a lot of mindless TVHGTV, Game Show Network and
recently, dare I say, I am alittle embarrassed I've started
binging on Caught in the Act.
I think it's on MTV, I think youknow, but Caught in the Act
about cheaters and people livinga double life.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
But anyway, I think you know, but Courtney act about
cheaters and people living adouble life, but anyway, it is
it is.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
I watch it because it is juicy and it is fun and it
is funny, but it is also areminder of how we, especially
women, can sacrifice our morals,our values, our choices, in the
name of caring for someone else, and how, when we lose sight of
who we truly are, that we willput up with just any and
everything.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
A lot of lessons in watching that show.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
There are a lot of lessons in watching that show.
At least, that's what I tellmyself when I'm watching it.
This is research.
I'm learning something.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's research.
I love it.
So let's switch gears a littlebit.
What is a hardship or somethingthat was a challenge that you
have gone through, that you nowfeel like you're stronger,
better for it now that you're onthe other side of it?

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah, absolutely there were.
There are a couple that I couldpick from.
I think the one I will willresonate with the most of the
listeners, especially women ingeneral, is finding out that my
then husband was cheating on meon me.

(08:43):
He was cheating on me with twowomen at the same time, both of
whom I knew.
One had been in my house, onewe had invited to church.
She was a long time best friendof his sister's, so it wasn't as
if they were strangers or anyof those things it was people
that I knew, and so that wasprobably one of the hardest
things that I had to deal withand that I had to get over.

(09:04):
In that situation, I learned myown strength, and I learned how
resilient I am.
I also learned how good andfaithful God is in the midst of
each and every storm, and Ilearned that no man, no one

(09:25):
person, can steal your hopes,your dreams or your joy, unless
you allow it.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Powerful and I imagine you.
You are a much better advisorand mentor to other women
because you went through thatand because you can share your
struggles, but also how youovercame it, with others.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think one of the bestcharacteristics of a coach, of
somebody who is working withpeople in general, is empathy,
and so when you can put yourselfin someone else's shoes, when
you can share an experience,when you can give a personal
example, I do think that thathelps with the know, like and

(10:16):
trust factor.
It helps break down those wallsand it helps people become not
just vulnerable with you buteven more vulnerable and
transparent within themselves.
So, yeah, I think that makesall the difference.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, we're all uniquely positioned to serve the
person we once were right.

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
That's a great statement.
So true, so very true.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
So what is something that you wish the listeners knew
about your business?

Speaker 3 (10:48):
That's not a hard question, but it's a thought
provoking question, I think theone thing I mean there are many
things, obviously, but I thinkthe one thing is that, at the
core of SheWin U nlimited, it ismy primary goal for you to be
ecstatic about the life that Godgave you, for you to know that

(11:13):
there is joy on the other side,that joy is internal, and that
there is not one thing, there isnot one person, there is not
one event, not onedisappointment, not one failure
that can take that away from you.
To know that you are not thesum of the events that have

(11:34):
happened to you, but you are theperson who you design yourself
to be, that you can really beanything and anybody you want,
and remember that events happento you but not in you that's
good.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
I love that.
You said that you use the wordecstatic the ecstatic about the
life you live.
I love that.
I love that.
So let me ask you this do youhave some advice for someone who
is a new entrepreneur, someonethinking about starting their
own business?

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Yeah, absolutely so.
I had this question askedbefore and I really had to think
about.
What advice I always give is,when you look around at all the
things that you think arekeeping you stuck, make sure to
start and end with looking rightin the mirror.

(12:30):
That's good.
That's good.
That's where it all begins andthat's where it all ends, with
you.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
I love that.
Thank you for that advice.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Yes, absolutely you.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
I love that Thank you for that advice, absolutely, so
tell me.
If the listeners want toconnect with you or learn more
from you, what's the best way tofind you?

Speaker 3 (12:50):
The easiest way is you can reach out to me directly
by calling me at 571-248-1220,or you can email me at shelita
unlimited.
com.
Um.
I also do have a website um,www.
shewinunlimited.
com amazing Shelita.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today
and sharing.
SheWin with us absolutely.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
Thank you so very much you in with us, absolutely,
thank you, so very much.
Thank you for listening to theFredericksburg Neighbors Podcast
.
To nominate your favorite localbusinesses to be featured on
the show, go tofxbgneighborspodcast.
com.