Welcome back, you beautiful degenerates. This week (okay, month… look, don’t judge), Gamer Chronicles returns with a full-blown gaming breakdown so wild it makes Cyberpunk 2077’s launch look graceful.
We’ve got:
- 🧨 Gearbox selling Borderlands loot and bullshit
- 🎒 Kojima returning with an emotional FedEx simulator sequel
- 💔 Mindseye collapsing harder than my work history this year
- 🧢 Nintendo gaslighting us all with fake Metroid Prime 4 ads
- 🛠️ Nexus Mods getting bought by shadowy figures like it’s the plot of a dystopian RPG
And THEN we deep dive into Cash Cleaner Simulator — the most unexpectedly relaxing crime-core sim you’ll play this year. Picture this: you’re in a dingy basement, laundering money with UV lights, literal washing machines, and a mop full of regrets. There’s blood. There are dye packs. There’s a piggy bank hanging from the ceiling like capitalism’s final boss.
You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll clean blood off $20 notes while questioning your life choices.
⏱️ Time Stamps:
- 0:00 – Intro: Greedy devs, busted windshields, and career trauma
- 2:34 – WTF Is Going On in Gaming? News Round-Up
- 3:01 – Borderlands 4 sells loot... without the game
- 5:00 – Death Stranding 2: Kojima drops more weird emotional trauma
- 5:50 – Mindseye layoffs and the vaporware crash
- 7:47 – Metroid Prime 4 billboard lies and Nintendo’s marketing gaslight
- 8:41 – Nexus Mods sold to mystery overlords — what could go wrong?
- 10:42 – Main Review: Cash Cleaner Simulator
- 12:48 – Gameplay loop, money physics, UV lights & chaos
- 15:47 – Where it falls apart: grind fatigue & haunted boxes
- 17:24 – Final Verdict: The good, the bad, the bloodstained briefcase
- 18:58 – Outro: A therapy session disguised as gaming journalism
🕹️ Games Mentioned:
- Borderlands 4
- Death Stranding 2: On the Beach
- Mindseye
- Metroid Prime 4 (not really)
- Cash Cleaner Simulator
- Nexus Mods (modding platform, but still deserves a tag)
🎤 Quote of the Episode:
“Cash Cleaner Simulator is the only game that made me yell ‘motherf***er!’ at a pile of soggy twenties — and yet, I’m still playing it.”
Make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and follow us on
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
X (Formally Twitter)
BlueSky
Discord
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.