The One About Mental Health

After Logann's retreat with The Jae Foundation, Girl Bible Hosts Keisha & Logann dive into any and everything mental health. Keisha shares her own journey with moderate depression, and the girls explore all the ways that you can conquer your depression.

Key Moments:

• Logann shares insights from experience with The Jae Foundation
• Keisha opens up about her battle with depression
• Keisha shares the natural ways she fought depression
• Logann & Keisha give tools to find your authentic self

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Girl Bible, hosted bytwo women who aren't afraid to
dive into anything and everything.
This podcast is all about exploring life, laughing through
the chaos, and finding common ground with people from all
walks of life. No topic is off limits, no vibe
is too weird. Come hang out with us every week
for real talk, random tangents, and plenty of laughs.

(00:25):
And we're back with another episode.
I know our 7th episode of Girl Bible and we're talking all
things mental health today and Mental Health awareness month
was May so we weren't up and running then so we're doing it

(00:48):
in July. Yeah, a little bit, yeah.
I just think mental health is something that should be talked
about all the time. Obviously show a little bit more
love meant like for that specific month, but I just think
it's something that we shouldn'tshy away from.
So even though we missed it, bringing it back.
Mental health is something I hold near and dear to my heart

(01:08):
only because it has affected me personally.
And I never thought I would go through any sort of mental
health crisis. And then there I was going
through 1. So now I'm such an advocate for
talking about mental health. I try to talk about it.
Obviously, I've talked about it a million times with you.
I try to talk about it with anyone who will listen because

(01:32):
you never know. You literally never know when it
might affect you or somebody that you love, and you want to
have some tools in your bag to handle what's going on.
Yeah, well, I think it's exactlythat what you were saying.
We talk about all the time, likepretty much every topic.
You never think it's going to beyou until it is you.

(01:55):
And I just think that's a reallyhuge theme that we're kind of
finding on this podcast. So yeah, just having the right
tools to help either yourself orlike a loved one out, just super
key, especially in mental health, I think.
And I had some statistics pulledup from the National Council for

(02:16):
Mental Health Support. And one in five US adults
experience mental illness each year and one in 20 US adults
experience serious mental illness each year.
So this is not just affecting, you know, a few people.

(02:36):
This is affecting one in five isa lot.
That's a lot. I mean, you walk past five
people, one of those people is dealing with something serious.
Something that I kind of found out just recently that I thought
was super interesting is like the second leading cause in
deaths of athletes is suicide. The 1st is like car accidents.

(03:01):
That is so sad. Right.
That is so sad. Yeah.
Well, it says 20% of all high school students, 20% That's a
huge that's the same. That's the same number one in 5
S 20% of all high school students seriously consider
suicide. That's crazy.

(03:23):
If you're like standing in the Commons or like you're at in a
high school event, like that's ahuge group that you could just
pull from. Like if you just literally, if
you were watching people walk byand you pulled like the fifth
person every time, like that's, that's it's, it's crazy.
And then it said 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins

(03:45):
by the age of 14, which is so young, and 75% begins by the age
of 24. Yeah.
So by the time you're finished with school, like 75% of people
who are going to experience mental illness started by age

(04:06):
24. Yeah, no, that's crazy.
It is crazy in high school because I think you could
probably go down the line and you could talk about just take a
random group of people and you could ask them if they knew
someone or went to high school, someone who either attempted or
did take their life and they would probably have a story

(04:29):
about it. Right.
And it's so sad. I feel like just by talking
about it and just by being awareof it, you have a few more tools
in your bag to just ask the question, stop and spend the
time with people and check in oneverybody that you know and
love, just because you never know.
And it's one of those things where I feel like it's such a

(04:51):
silent illness because you can'ttell just by looking at someone.
This is one of those things where you are not going to look
at someone and know that they are experiencing a mental health
anything. Yes.
And something else that makes this episode really relevant for

(05:14):
the time right now is that Loganhad the privilege of going to a
mental health retreat. Yes, I did.
And let me just tell you guys. About that a little bit.
Yeah, I had such a blast. I went on a retreat with the J
Foundation and I want to kind ofrefrain from sharing like the

(05:36):
actual story behind why the retreat was started, because I
think the people who run the foundation, it's just the way
that they share it is just so touching.
So if you're have any like you're feeling like you want to
find out more, I suggest you like take the time, look at the
J Foundation. Have it right here.
Here's my little notebook that they gave me.

(05:57):
But they just do such a good jobof sharing the story.
And one of the founders, it's kind of more of his story and
one of his close friends. So I just kind of want to leave
that for them to share. But let me just tell you, we
went to a little town in Wyomingcalled Pinedale, and we stayed
on this place called the Double J Ranch.
And there was like, we just really reconnected with nature.

(06:21):
And I want to say most of our time on the retreat was kind of
pouring more into ourselves so we can find our purpose, so we
were able to help other people or like when a situation did
arise and we needed to take the necessary steps, that was
something we'd be able to do. And so there was a lot of just,

(06:42):
we broke out into groups, he gotkind of uncomfortable, like we
got emotional, people cried it. It was really beautiful.
And it was with a group of athletes that go to the
University of Wyoming. And I just had such a blast
connecting with all of them. Most of them, I did not know
them at all. And I would say now I came out
like having kind of a friendshipand just by the end of the trip,

(07:04):
everyone was really comfortable with each other and it was just
really a blast. But a couple of things that I
just want to touch on that they kind of talked about at the
retreat was one of them was kindof this blank left, blank left
mentality. And that's when you think about,
you know, I have blank practicesleft.

(07:25):
It's not even like until you maybe aren't existing on this
Earth anymore. It's just kind of making the
most of the time that you do have, the opportunities that you
do have, the practices that you have left, the, you know,
assignments that you have left in class, just really making the
most of it. And I really thought that was
super incredible because not only can you like take that and

(07:46):
put that in every kind of caveatof your life, it just is a
really good theme to have, I think anyways.
Definitely. Yeah.
OK. And then just we talked a lot
about like finding our purpose and our core values.
And if you do kind of take the time to look into the J

(08:06):
Foundation and see what they're actually doing, I'm sure that
they have some of their resources up there.
But it was just a great time to kind of reflect on yourself and
find out what's important with you and kind of walk with
whatever your core values are. That'll just help you, you know,
be more yourself and be able to like branch out and help others

(08:28):
around you, if that makes sense.Yeah, it does.
It does when you're more alignedand sure of yourself, you're
able to show up as your true authentic self, which also helps
bring that out in others. And people recognize that you're
sound too. And then they can come to you

(08:48):
for anything and everything and they know you're going to be
like a solid resource, right? Right.
Right, right. And I think you touched on a
little bit earlier speaking on, you know, reaching out to those
who are important to us. And the J Foundation kind of
refers to it as a boot check. And, you know, I said that we

(09:10):
were in Wyoming. It's kind of more like a Western
theme. But boot check just basically
means, you know, you sit down and you take the time to check
in and have a hard conversation with a loved one.
Just make sure that they really are doing OK.
Get more than just surface level, more than just like, hey,
how you doing? Good, good.
How are you just kind of basic, like really make sure that you

(09:32):
know, they have all things that you need and you know, that can
also create a conversation whereyou're really getting what you
need out of it too. So I just think that's super
cool. And I was super thankful to go
on this foundation and go to on this retreat with this
foundation and I just got so much out of it.
It was a blast. That's so good.

(09:53):
Also, just piggybacking off of what Logan just said, the
importance of the conversations you're having and the emphasis
on going a little bit deeper. Anyone can text and say, hey,
how are you? And 90% of the time people be
like, I'm fine, how are you evenwhen they're not fine.

(10:17):
So I think the emphasis on diving a little bit deeper,
maybe it gets uncomfortable, maybe it's a bit touchy at first
because no one really dives thatdeep in my opinion.
I just feel like people don't really dive that deep unless
you're really, really close or you're having an extended face

(10:38):
to face conversation. But you have to ask those
uncomfortable questions and justkind of push a little bit to get
past the surface level answer. Because sure, if somebody says
they're fine, usually you'll take it at face value and just
assume they're fine. But a lot of times, obviously,
if it's one in five, a lot of times it's more than fine.

(11:01):
They're not doing fine. So just keep asking and prying
and you won't regret digging deeper.
You'll regret not digging deeper, but you will not ever
regret pushing and asking more questions.
No. And also kind of what we talked
about on retreat, but something that I think is so important is

(11:21):
like the follow up, like, yes, you can have a deep conversation
and like, you know, you find out, OK, they're not doing so
hot. Like I need to do this or we
said we were going to do this. But after all that initial, that
first phone call like that, you need to follow up as well.
Like you need to make sure that like they fall through, you hold
through 'cause there's, I'm pretty sure there's a pretty

(11:44):
good statistic saying that like when you follow up, like it
decreases the chance of them actually taking their life by so
much. And it's just like a second
phone call or even like a third or fourth phone call.
And you know, in the grand scheme of things, like you're,
you're not going to regret calling them a couple more times
then never being able to call them again.

(12:07):
Dang, that's Steve. So.
Very intense. Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to
get that intense, but. No, it was good.
It's good. People need the information.
Obviously, you know that I went on my own mental health journey.

(12:29):
That's what we'll call it, a journey, and it happened.
Both of us look like we're aboutto start crying.
Yeah, 'cause it was a hard time,I feel like.
And also just kind of before Keisha gets into this, like, I
don't, I feel like there's a huge like push for people to

(12:51):
like take antidepressants. And if that's something that you
feel really strong in, then by any means, do you do what you
need to do to get help? But one thing that I feel like
isn't super talked about is likeantidepressants aren't something
that you're ever supposed to stop taking.
If you start taking them, like it's something that you in your
body will become dependent on atsome point.

(13:14):
And I just think that sometimes,you know, these like your mental
health can just be like a stint.You're not, you're not going to
feel like this forever, even though sometimes it will feel
like that. So I just want everybody
listening. If you're, you know, maybe
considering taking the antidepressant, just maybe look
at some other options and see iflike there's some other way that

(13:35):
you can kind of get through it. Because I just feel like it it
it's not going to last forever. And having something that kind
of you will just like have to lean on for the rest of your
life. I don't think anybody would want
to do that long, long term. And I just think that there is
another option. And I don't like, I didn't
really know that until kind of Keisha went through her whole

(13:59):
mental health thing. And that's like something that
her and I both are kind of huge on is like we don't want to have
to rely on taking something for the rest of our lives.
And I think it's completely healthy if that's something that
you want to do and you feel likeit's necessary that you should
do. But I just kind of wanted to put
that out there also. Especially if you're young, you
have a little bit more risk withit as well, because there are

(14:24):
some adverse effects. So obviously you you talk with
your doctor, you talk with your family and you decide what's
best for you. And by all means, like Logan
said, if it's something that's going to save your life, then by
do it, do it. But hopefully today we'll give
some tips and tools and other options that can also change

(14:50):
your mental health journey without having any prescription
medications. Yeah.
We'll see. Yeah, we will see.
So my mental health journey started after I had Blake, my

(15:12):
second child. And I went to my doctor about a
month after I'd Blake, a little less than a month after I had
her. And I just broke down crying in
the doctor's office. I was like, this is so hard.
Like, I don't know what's wrong with me.
This is not the baby Blues. I am not feeling like myself.

(15:34):
And my doctor was like, it sounds like you have postpartum
depression. And I was like, I had kind of a
hint that maybe that's what it was or maybe I was just
adjusting to life with a 2 year old and an infant and a newborn.
So it was it was just crazy times.

(15:55):
We had Blake in December, which if you know anything about our
back story, I am a coach's wife.And so my husband coaches
college basketball. December it it's on and poppin
like basketball season is in full swing.
He does not have time to like take any time off.
We had our first born in the summer.

(16:16):
It's just way different vibes, like it was chill.
We had time to be a little family.
And it was during kind of COVID time or no?
How old is he during COVID times?
COVID started at the March afterwe had days and so then we were
really like a locked down little, little unit, but still

(16:37):
we were able to like get on our feet and figure things out as a
family of three first before Danwas in full swing of work.
And that was so helpful. And I was a teacher, so I had no
work in the summer. I was just chilling.
Now flush forward to when I had Blake.
I was just coming off of a Bender working at a daycare the

(16:57):
whole pregnancy, the entire timeI was pregnant with Blake.
Taking care of other people's kids like I.
Was grinding like we were in a grinding phase of life where I
was working full time taking care of Hayes.
Hayes was he turned to the July before we had Blake.
So he was almost 2 1/2 when I had her.

(17:18):
We gave birth to Blake. Dan was literally working on a
scout in the hospital while I was giving birth to Blake.
Like running his laptop out backand forth to people.
And then I gave birth to Blake. We brought her home the next
day. You can already tell like I'm
not a big hospital doctor Gurley.

(17:40):
So we gave birth to her. We're back at home.
Like I'm not taking any extra time.
First of all, I don't want to pay for it because what am I
paying for? This is like a a rundown busted
up hotel that I don't want to beat.
Like, no, I don't. I don't want to be here.
I'd rather be in my comfy bed doing this.
So and I also don't think that giving birth as a medical event.

(18:02):
So we quickly gave birth and we were back at home.
Dan was back at work the next day so.
It was over. It was over, he had games to do
and they were trying to win a championship.
And I get that. And so off he goes.
And here I am with a 2 year old and a newborn and my 2 year old

(18:25):
was going through it, which I, Iunderstand.
Like you were the apple of our eye.
And now all of a sudden I just brought home this new baby and
you're like, what the heck is going on?
Like why are you cuddling this thing, giving it all this
attention? When you think terrible twos, I
want you to just imagine one of those trends on TikTok where

(18:46):
it's like double it and give it to the next person and it's gone
through like 50 people and that's his like terrible twos.
Like it was monstrous, which we later.
As we, as we went on our like mental health slash, just health
journey, we honestly went through such a health Wellness
journey as a family. I totally think it was like

(19:08):
artificial dyes in his diet. But we can save that for another
episode. So 'cause there's a drastic
difference between Hayes, then Hayes, now Hayes, when we
stopped artificial dyes in his diet and just cleaned up his
diet in general. But side note, we were in the
trenches like Logan came, her family came and they saw like a

(19:30):
little glimpse and obviously they weren't like, oh, Dang,
you're down bad. But he's had one of the most
monster tantrums that I've ever witnessed.
Yes. No.
You were there with me and I like broke down in the car just
crying. I was.
Like, yeah, I can't do. Yeah.
We were like trying to get readyto go to a game and another

(19:50):
thing also that I feel like shows that December's just a
crazy time is like when her first was born.
My whole Dan's whole pretty muchlike side of the family was like
at the hospital when Keisha was having haze.
But like December, my mom's all teachers, all of us play sports
like I don't did. Could you even come like it?
It was 2021, so no one was allowed to come, so only Dan.

(20:13):
I got to bring one person with me to the hospital, which was
fine because I don't like peoplein the room with my.
No, no. It's up in the air anyway.
It's wide open looking like trash.
No offense, I don't look that good when.
I'm moving and. I try hard to look good.
I still just. I do not look good, no.
No, no, no. I'm gonna, I'm gonna like post a

(20:34):
picture of like the first picture she took with Hayes.
She was glowing like when we. I was like, you guys are lying.
Somebody else gave birth to thisbaby.
It was not Keisha. Mine so I think that girls that
like I try so hard too. I put on makeup, I try to fix my
hair, but when I tell you I'm giving birth to these babies, I

(20:56):
gave them birth all naturally like this, this sweat is
happening. Things are happening natural
cause all natural, no epidural, no extra anything.
Think about that. If I.
Look a little rough. She did not even she did not
even. I was I was shocked.

(21:17):
I was like this girl is make outhere making it look easy.
OK, anyways, back to the back tothe story.
Yeah, we were all there when Keisha just had Blake, like
pretty soon after, because it was like our Christmas break.
Dan was still coaching, so it wasn't like he was gone half the
time. But then we were just kind of
there to help out. And like Blakey girl was fresh.

(21:40):
She was fresh out the womb. And Hayes was like something
else. Like you couldn't like you
looked at him wrong. If you looked at him wrong, he
would like throw of it, which isfair because, you know, we think
there was some other factors going into it.
Hayes was born. Everyone like loved Hayes.

(22:01):
Everyone was just like here, Hayes here, Hayes do this haze,
blah, blah, blah. And I think, you know, when we
were still there, a lot of people were still kind of more
like, you know, they wanted to play with Hayes.
He was a little bit older, but Ijust think having you be kind of
split in two was something that he was not used to at all.
Exactly. It was rough.
So they come, Hayes, there's this enormous tantrum.

(22:24):
I'm like crying in the car. Logan's with me.
Logan's in the car. She's like, it's OK, man.
I was like, is it OK? We're we literally just strapped
my kids in the car. I dress them up all cute.
We get to the game. I'm like, you're going to take a
picture of Santa. Like we walk into the game and

(22:45):
Hayes and Blake both take this like stoic picture with Santa
that's at the game. And then we sit through the
game. But I just remember being in
like a fog, like not feeling like, you know how I, I mean,
you don't know, but it feels like you're not in your body
basically. No, yes, you're going into the.

(23:06):
Motions, but you're not in your body.
You're just like, OK, next pick up the kid, feed the kid, do
this, walk to the car. We got this.
I'm still smiling, I'm still carrying on conversations, I'm
still interacting, but I'm literally mentally like shutting
down. So they leave.
I go to my doctor and I break down in the doctor's office.

(23:28):
She's like, I think you have first time depression.
I was like, maybe I do or maybe I'm just overwhelmed.
We just had guests and we're in the middle of the season.
Like this is crazy. Everything's crazy right now.
I'm not sure. Either way, in that office, she
gives me birth control. OK, first of all, I'm

(23:50):
complaining about my face because I had the worst hormonal
acne after I had really both my kids.
My face was going through it andI'm.
I'm so blessed now to say that that's like one of my biggest
issues was dealing with a freaking acne.
OK, as an adult I was. Like and so I know I never once

(24:11):
thought Keisha had bad acne after she had the kids but
anyways. That's because I wear makeup and
I was like, I'm not just going to show up looking crazy, but my
face was breaking out like crazy.
So she puts me on this hormonal acne.
OK. I mean, no, I had hormonal acne.
She puts me on hormonal birth control.

(24:31):
It's just like, this will clear up your skin.
Do you want an antidepressant? I'm like, I'm not ready for
that. I'm not going to commit to that.
Like, I cannot. I I'm, I want to try to kick
this on my own. So I leave the office.
No antidepressants, hormonal birth control instead in my
hands which will get there. Start taking this birth control

(24:53):
and I feel worse. My face is looking better, sure,
like my face is looking better. I am in the absolute trenches of
my life. Like I'm having thoughts I've
never had before. Yes, I was like honestly
considering. Yeah.

(25:14):
Ending it right there. Right.
Sorry. No, it's OK.
Anyways, it's sad because it's just sad because I don't want to
think that when I have two. Kids But yeah, and if like

(25:35):
another reason why it's really sad is because kind of before
all that happened, like Keisha was just like the most like
glass glass half full person andlike happy go lucky person you'd
ever meet. And so just as sad that there is
just like such a turn around kind of in that, you know, you
can feel so you know, feels one way and then all the sudden it

(25:56):
kind of turns around. But that's just how it gets you.
Like you can't you can't really understand mental health.
It just kind of, it just hits you.
That's the best summary of it. Like when I hit this episode, I
realized I'd never even really been that sad before.
Like, I've been sad. I'd experienced sadness, but I

(26:17):
was one of the few, like, crazy excited for life, happy people.
And I honestly was thinking like, my kids will be better if
I was not here, which is so sad 'cause I don't think that's
true, but it's not in the moment.
That's how I felt. So, yeah, and I feel like that's

(26:39):
the other thing. It's like you can't, like you
can't make it make sense in yourhead at like at the time you
like, that's, that's just what makes sense.
And it just feels like you're like, yeah, like that's the only
thing that makes sense. But you know, that's why I think
it's so important to reach out and talk to other people because
sometimes we just can't make sense of it by ourselves.

(27:01):
Sometimes we need someone else to kind of, you know, bring us
bring us back to reality or evenus out like it's it's so easy to
make something up in your head and be like, this is the way
that it has to be. But it that's not that's not
always true. So we find out we're in this
little town home in Montana. We find out we have to freaking

(27:25):
move. The landlord is going through a
divorce with her husband and she's like, I want to move back
into this town home because I can't live with my husband.
Mind you, if you don't know anything about Bozeman, it's
like it's crazy, OK? It's gorgeous.
We love it. We are the biggest fans of
Bozeman, Mt. We love that place.

(27:46):
It's a hidden gem, but it was soexpensive.
And we were making like. We were like a struggling as a
family at the time. I had just had to quit my job
because I was working at the daycare where it made sense.
I was making money and then Hayes could go to daycare for

(28:07):
50% off which made it affordablefor us but putting two kids in
would have just taken my entire daycare check so it made no
sense to even work at the daycare.
So we were back to 1 income and trying to figure things out and
having to move. Mind you it's still the middle
of Dan's season. His season does not end until

(28:29):
March ish depending on how they do.
And she tells us this in like January, OK.
So #1 shame on that Lady. Like, shame on that.
Lady, I know, she knew we just had a baby.
She knew she still was like, I'mgoing through a divorce.
I need to move in. I find a place, but that was all

(28:51):
me crying, whatever, trying to figure out a place that we could
afford. I find a place, but we have to
move in March. We have to move in March if we
want the place. And like I said, Dan's season is
still going on, so they end up. And they have no family.
They have no family in Bozeman. Also, like it's just, it's just

(29:13):
Keisha and Dan, like the parentsdon't live there.
We, my family, Dan's side of thefamily was six hours away.
Keisha's family was in California.
Like it wasn't going to be like an easy little like oh let me
drive a couple out like 2 hours to go help them move.
Like it was going to be a hall to try to get to Keisha and Dan.
So I pack up our whole house with my with my three month old

(29:39):
and my 2 year old. I pack up our entire home, all
of our belongings. I get us organized to move,
thank God, one of my friends from the daycare, she was a
savior and she came to help likewatch the kids so that I could
do a million trips back and forth 'cause we just had a
little car at the time. So I'm just making like as many

(29:59):
trips as possible. We get our stuff moved into the
new place in March. We literally have boxes all
around us. Dan ends up winning a
championship that year. So amazing.
I'm so proud of him. But like, he's literally busy
this whole time. And I'm just like doing all this
stuff with the kids in the house.

(30:21):
We fly out for the NCAA tournament.
My family's like, you look down like you look down bad.
You First of all, I was dressed like trash.
I was looking like trash. I nothing fit me.
I was, I was, I was just going through it and my parents

(30:42):
recognized it. Obviously I've been on the phone
with my parents the whole time and my sister and my whole
family was there. And everyone's like, you need
help, like you need help, you need help, you need help.
So we make a plan and my dad's like, I'm going to take you to
Coachella and we're going to getyou out of this funk.

(31:04):
And I'm like, you know what? That actually sounds delightful.
I think I do need a vacation after all of this.
Like I need a, a mental break maybe from parenting for a
second and to just like reset everything.
Go to Coachella with my dad. First of all, if you've never
been to Coachella, honey, you need to go.

(31:24):
You need to go save up your dollar E box and just go.
I, I don't care. You can go to Coachella with a
couple nickels in your pocket and still have a blast.
Like it's possible. OK, go to Coachella, wake up one
day and I think it's the second day I'm there and I go to take
my birth control and I have thisthought where I'm like, let me

(31:49):
just look up what I'm taking, 'cause I didn't ask any
questions. All I asked was I wanted to
clear up my acne. My doctor hands me this.
I take it, my skin starts getting clear and I don't ask
any questions. So I look at the Mac.
I type it into my phone and why does it say that one of the
major side effects of this birthcontrol is suicidal thoughts and

(32:13):
depression? Yeah.
And you never seem to ask the doctor because why?
Because if I'm, if I'm telling the doctor that I'm down bad,
why are you going to hand me something that's going to aid
that or could potentially aid that?
It doesn't make any sense. Exactly.
So I immediately stop taking it right then and there.

(32:37):
I texted and I was like, I'm not, I'm not taking birth
control anymore. Like this is done.
We'll use a different method, but we will not be using birth
control. Stop taking it then and there
and just enjoy the rest of my trip.
OK, We go back to Bozeman and obviously, like, the effects are

(32:59):
going to take a really long timeto wear off.
So I'm still, you know, not myself.
We'll just say that I'm not myself.
But I at least feel at this point a handle on on, Yeah.
Because at this point, how long were you taking it for?
I've been on it for three times.So January, February, March I

(33:24):
went to Coachella and April, so almost four months really like
mid-april is when I stopped taking it.
I I'm off the pill and I'm like,now I'm doing some deep diving
research because one of my friends was having a mental
health crisis too. She's on the same birth control
as me. I was like, you got to throw

(33:44):
that out. It is why you are feeling the
way that you're feeling. Do not take this birth control.
Like do not take. This.
Did she, did she have like, did one of your friends have to be
hospitalized? OK.
Yes, yes. Because of super dark thoughts

(34:05):
that were happening, she's on this birth control.
The same one I'm on anyways. So I decide to go on a super
holistic natural Wellness journey for the whole family.
Really at that point I was like,I'm done.
If big pharma is going to come for me and my health, like I'm

(34:28):
just going to go off the grid and I was already, they will say
hippie leaning anyways. I was already teetering on the
grid anyways. But this just like solidified.
I was like, I went to my doctor and was so vulnerable and told
her what I was going through andshe handed me a pill that
literally. Was just gonna dig you deeper

(34:51):
into the hole that you were. Yeah.
And then her solution while looking me dead in the eyeballs,
was, do you want to get on an antidepressant?
Yeah. So you're going to hand me
antidepressant and then try to hand me an antidepressant?
That's your solution. Like what?
Crazy to me. So I decide to go on this

(35:14):
Wellness journey and I'm like, I'm going to get myself right.
I'm going to get out of this. Mind you it took me like 2 1/2
but still I was like, I'm determined to do this.
Yeah. So I signed myself up for a yoga
class. I was like, I'm going to get
certified yoga. Yoga used to make me feel good.
I'm going to do that for something for myself.

(35:37):
Do that. I'm feeling better, OK?
I'm feeling better. I'm still having these, like
trenchy moments that are dragging you in.
The best way I can describe, like depression is you think
like, here's sadness, right? OK.
Or here's baseline. Here's baseline.
And you're feeling like yourself, OK.

(35:57):
And then when you feel sad, you take a little dip down, but you
can get yourself back to baseline, your average baseline.
When you have depression, it's like discovering there was a
basement level to life that you didn't even know a basement
existed. And then every time you feel a

(36:19):
glimpse of happiness, you're like trying to get back up to
baseline. You.
You can't get there. You're trying so hard and you
literally can't. Like, you're just getting up to
normal sad when you're feeling happy.
That's the best description at best.
Yeah. It's like the normal things that

(36:39):
make you laugh. Nothing's that funny, like
nothing's that exciting. You get glimpses here and there,
but again, you're just, you can't even get to baseline
regulation. Like you're not getting there.
No matter what you try, nothing can shake you.
And it's not anything that someone around you can do 'cause

(37:00):
Dan was trying so hard. He was like, what can I do?
Do you need to spend time with your parents?
Do you need to do this? You need that.
I was like, it's not like that. It's hard to explain, like I
can't get out of this. This is crazy.
So I take the yoga class. I'm starting to feel better.
I'm getting, I was like, I'm going to get in touch with my
body, I'm going to move my body,get in touch with my body, get

(37:22):
in touch with my breath and justtry to get back inside of
myself. That was step number one step #2
we took this couple's class and it, I'm just going to say, I
think it was like the ultimate catalyst for all the great

(37:45):
changes in my life. I took a couples class with this
woman, Kim Anami. You might think Kisha, whatever,
whatever. I don't really care.
I, I really honestly don't care.I'm here to share my own
experience with this. And there's millions of people,
or at least hundreds of thousands of people who have
taken her classes too. And you might not like her

(38:06):
delivery, you might not like howcrass she is, but this woman is
out here changing lives and giving real advice to couples.
And all I can say is she helps Dan and I get out of the
trenches, man. We took a couples class with Kim
Anami. Yes, it's a sex class, but also
it is like an intense therapy session where there's his

(38:29):
sessions, her sessions, and together sessions that we do
together. And wow, wow.
That's all I can say. Wow.
First of all, she encourages youto go completely sober for the
whole 10 weeks of the class, which is something we've just
kind of carried over. Anyways.

(38:50):
I feel like if you're going through any bout of mental
health anything, alcohol is not your friend.
You need to, you don't need a drink to take the edge off.
You need to steer clear of any, any sort of alcohol beverage.
Like it's not helping you, it's hurting you.
So we stayed completely sober for the 10 weeks and it just

(39:12):
gave us so much clarity. And the way that we were able to
connect as a couple was I can't even explain it.
I can't even explain it. You, you got to see some of the
benefits of it because you were like, Erin knew we were taking
the class. Right.
Well, I just knew that it was like something she was really
excited about because she literally was like.

(39:34):
All right, I don't want. This to be TMI, but I'm taking
this with an amazing class and when you find your little Boo
thing, you have to take it too. Like she was so did set on it
and I was like, OK, because Keisha is one of those people.
If she's going to like suggest something to me and really like
be like this is amazing, then I'm going to believe her like so
I was like OK, like and you might be thinking you're this

(39:56):
guy's niece. Like are you weirded out?
Like I don't know how to explainit.
Keisha and I just have a different kind of friendship.
Like it just. It just doesn't really, I don't
know, it just doesn't really bother me.
It's like. Way, way more than surface
level. We don't just have to.
We can keep it 100% real all thetime.

(40:16):
It doesn't matter the topic likewe talk about everything.
Right, yeah, we do talk about everything.
And you might be thinking what? But like just in a.
Way that it's not we're not yeah, I don't give like nasty
weird details nothing. Like that details, but like
she's giving me what needs to begave.
Like you know what I'm saying? She gives me the real advice so.

(40:40):
Yeah, without the nitty gritty Idon't get.
That's weird. It's weird If you were thinking
that, yeah, don't make it. Weird.
Don't make it weird. But what they do is there's this
thing about radical honesty in the class, and I feel like what
happens to a lot of couples, especially if you've been
together for a while, things sort of you.

(41:03):
You think you're saving the relationship by holding your
tongue when in reality you're just building up this like,
invisible wall between you guys of all the unsaid things, and it
just gets all muddy and dusty. And so she says, clear your
glass. And I just think every couple on
the planet Earth needs to take this class.

(41:25):
I don't care a young, old, whatever.
If you're considering a serious monogamous relationship, first
of all, you need to go into it like a business decision.
Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
This is the most important business decision of your life.
And a lot of people just like meander into it thinking I like
you and you like me. I guess this is just like the
next step like we should. No, you need to sit down and

(41:47):
consider this one of your greatest assets because this is
going to be what determines everything in your life.
So sit down and handle it like abusiness.
You guys need to write out an agreement, things that you guys
want to do in the relationship, things that you don't want to do
in the relationship, and how often you're going to revisit
this agreement that you're talking about right now.

(42:11):
Like is this a quarterly review?Is this a monthly review?
This is you need to regularly update this with goals, dreams,
hopes and non negotiables because it is the most important
business decision of your life really.
Now with the radical honesty comes this like freeing moment

(42:32):
of just both of us being ourselves, our most authentic
selves, good, bad, ugly. Which I think also helps mental
health because you're free to bejust be you no judgement
whatever it takes practice yes, but she goes over that in the
class like I said take the classjust take the class if you're in

(42:53):
a relationship take the class like you'll thank me later take
the class next. I also decided to get my
hormones tested yes yes I did because I realized why am IA
night owl Why am I dragging buttin the morning?
Why am I, I was experiencing, I wouldn't say like crazy hormonal

(43:18):
acne, but I was getting hormonalbreakouts, you know, like with
my cycle that I didn't love. So I was like, let's just check
on my hormone levels and see what's going on here.
Mind you, I had two kids, so my hormones are probably not just
cruising along here. Things happen when you have a

(43:39):
baby and stuff fluctuates. So I did that and I got on
supplements and I cannot tell you how much they have changed
my life, like changed my life. I feel better.
I feel like my skin is glowing. Mind you, I don't use cleanser
on my face. You heard that correctly.

(44:02):
So. I don't use store bought
cleanser on my face. I use sunflower oil on my face
to wash my face at night. Come at me.
I think I was there. I think I was there.
You've like definitely been using it at least for a year.
Yeah, it's been over a year. It started.
I started, I think, last spring when I came up to your grandma's

(44:23):
house when I was. Watching TV, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yeah. So this is kind of cool going
back to this because I feel like, I mean, I could be wrong.
I feel like we started to kind of get close kind of like maybe
a year into your, like, kind of recovery from like, you know,

(44:45):
have like being like, OK, I havedepression, taking birth
control. And then kind of from that
point, I think it was like a year.
And then that's when we kind of started to get more close.
Because I remember, I remember you telling me kind of about
Coachella. Yeah.
But like, I don't know. There's never just a definite
moment. Like, OK, this is when me and
Keisha got close. It just like happened.

(45:08):
Yeah, it was. Organic, very organic.
We slowly started sharing more and more and more and.
Then. We're like, should we be best
friends? And then we're.
Like then here. We are.
What's it doing? We're like, let's keep this.
Going I think I I think I like chit chatting with you.
OK Then I started making sure I go outside every day.

(45:33):
I was like OK I got to get my steps up.
I I, I don't always get 10,000 steps a day but I aim to like
move more than I was OK before. I was just like like I said when
my parents saw me that March I literally was wearing trashy
leggings and an oversized T-shirt.
And I made a TikTok about this the other night.

(45:54):
You, you saw it, but I was just like, girl, you gotta start
showing up for yourself. I don't care if you have nowhere
to go. But my dad said it to me, and
I'm so grateful that he did because it's probably hard to
look at your newly postpartum daughter and say something to
her about how she looks terrible.
But thank God for my dad, because he's not gonna sugarcoat

(46:18):
anything. He was like, you look bad, like
you don't look good, like you'reembarrassed.
You guys know LP? Yeah.
Yeah, and he he loves me to death.
He he loves me to death. So I knew it was coming from a
place of love, but he was like, this is not it, honey.
You're not going to go anywhere showing up looking like this.
And I was like stings. But it was so good for me

(46:41):
because yeah, I might not have anywhere to go with my two kids
everyday. Most place, most times I don't I
don't have anywhere to go. We we're not trying to go out
and spend money. And honestly, Blake and Hayes
are the askingest pigeons in theworld.
So like every time I go somewhere, they're like, can I
get this? Can I get this?
Can I get this? Mind you, they have a toy room
that's overflowing. So I'm like, no, you cannot.

(47:03):
Get this, it's. Easier to just stay at home and
do home stuff. Plus I'm a homebody anyways.
But you do need to get ready foryourself.
It makes a world of difference. I don't care where you're going.
I wake up today, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm wearing a cute little sportydress.
I fix my hair and I do my makeupand I I do it every day.

(47:23):
Not because I'm expecting to seesomeone, but because it makes me
feel better walking past the mirror.
I don't want to see myself looking all schleppy.
It makes me feel bad when I see myself.
Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, Dang, girl, like.

(47:43):
Or when people ring the doorbelland you're like, ah, they're
going to see me looking all trash like.
Now I don't, I don't have that fear.
I can just go to the door and belike, oh hey.
Oh hey, yeah, anyway. And it's like stuff.
No, you go ahead feel. Like stuff like that can just be
like as little as like fixing your hair a little bit.
Like maybe you're not a super huge makeup girly or you know,

(48:06):
maybe you don't even like doing your hair, but you can brush
your eyebrows a little bit like do your skin care routine and
you just feel a little like thatmuch better like.
You know how they say the two out of three?
Like do 2 out of three, pick a cute outfit and do your hair.
You don't have to wear makeup orfix your hair and you do your
makeup. You don't have to wear something
cute or you know what I mean, just pick two out of the three,

(48:31):
do your makeup, wear a cute outfit and maybe your hair looks
trash. Like if you got two out of the
three, you're gonna look fine. You're gonna feel better.
I like to do all three. That's just me.
That's just me, honey, 'cause I'm over the top.
I'm extra 2025. That's.
Who she is? Like yes I wanna be extra. 25
It's Keisha's year. And I'm sick of like, you know

(48:52):
how you have cute clothes in your closet that you're like,
oh, I, I can't wait to wear this.
What are you waiting for? That's what are.
You waiting for I I want to weara skirt.
I'm wearing the skirt. I don't care where I'm going.
I might not be going anywhere. I want to put it on.
I'm going to the grocery store. I I'm wearing that.
Like I have all these cute heels.

(49:12):
I'm wearing them. I wore them last night.
Where am I going? Nowhere.
The Lego store, Like nowhere. I'm literally going nowhere, I
don't care. Pick the stuff out that makes
you happy and wear it. Wear the thing.
Don't save your makeup for a fancy occasion.
Wear it. Do it every day is not promised.
This goes back to what Logan said.

(49:33):
Like if you were, what was the thing about counting how many
things you have left A? Blank left.
Blank left if I only have this many days left like I want to be
cute and feeling girly every single day.
I spritz on perfume before I go to bed.
Yes I do. Yes I do.
Why for me I love this milk. Yes.

(49:55):
I'm so lux in this bed like I don't care, I don't care.
I'm sick of saving everything for like this random special
occasion never gonna happen like.
Yeah, 'cause at the end of the day, you're not guaranteed
anything, especially when it comes to days like do whatever
you want to want, be whoever youwant to be, love whoever you
want to be, do crazy things, do fun things, do weird things.

(50:20):
Yes, it's that part I just starthaving more fun with your
day-to-day. Like if you want to do the silly
weird thing, do it. Do it.
And that leads me to my last thing.
I think every especially females.
I don't know if it's the same for guys because I'm I'm not in
a guy's body, so I can't speak to that.
I can only speak for the female journey and and my particular

(50:41):
journey at that. I think every girl needs a
creative outlet. We are creative beings.
We, I tell this to Logan all thetime.
So she's going to be like, Oh mygosh, I don't know if she thinks
it's cringy or whatever, but I tell her all the time.
Women are literally portals. OK, good.

(51:05):
We are portals that connect heaven and earth.
You're a walking portal that connects heaven and earth.
That means you are literally made to create.
You are made to create. Yes, you are.
You have the ability to create awhole freaking life.
Yes, you do. You connect heaven to earth.

(51:26):
We're we're the only ones that can do that.
Women are magic. I tell her this all the time.
Like we are the most magical, beautiful, amazing beings on
this planet. If you are a woman, you need
something creative in your life,a creative outlet.
It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter what it is.
I don't care what it is. Do your special creative thing.

(51:47):
But you have to have that creative, beautiful, artsy
outlet because that's what God put us here to do.
Like He put us on or he, she, they put us here to create
anything. We bring beauty to so many
things. So find your creative outlet for

(52:07):
me right now. Mine is posted online and
getting in my creative bag. OK, I I know I don't care that
nobody likes it. That's the thing.
You're not doing it for an outcome.
You're doing it for yourself. I'm posting online because I
think it's funny as all get out like.
I like it, Larry. Don't say nobody doesn't.

(52:30):
Like it like I'm not doing it inI'm not doing it to influence
you. I'm not trying to get you to buy
anything. I really don't care.
I, I'm not doing it for anyone else besides myself because I'm
finally in a place where I, I'm ready to be seen.
And I think, you know what? I want to be seen.
I love it. I love being my weird self on
the Internet and I love coming up with funny little videos and

(52:51):
I love filming and pretending and whatever.
Like I just think it's so funny and it's such a creative outlet.
This podcast is my other creative outlet.
I love getting on here with Logan and chit chatting and just
chopping it up as the Gen. Z.
I just think you need something to unleash your authentic self.

(53:13):
Whatever. I agree.
I feel like anytime I've ever been like sad or like something
hasn't worked out and I've been bummed about it.
Like I just, I'm like, you know,I'm just going to watch a movie
and I'm going to color like you know what, I'm going to just
paint like and I'm not that good.
Like I'm not even that good, butit's still fun.

(53:34):
No, I'm not, but it's still fun.It's like I, I try to tell all
my friends that go through breakups or anything and they're
like really. Or like something happens.
They're really not in the dumps.I'm like, listen dude, go get in
your bed, put on a a movie you love or go outside.
Go sit outside and draw in coloror do whatever it is.
Read a book, but like that's that's what I have to do.

(53:56):
That's like part of my whole fake it till you make it mantra.
Like I just you know what? I am not feeling great right
now, but let me let me color, let me watch this funny little
show and color and 1010 out of 10 times.
I feel so much better. And I'm like, you know what?
Who cares? I really want to get into
pottery and like candle making. I feel like those are my next

(54:20):
two creative outlets that I wantto get into.
Bro yes, there's that's so funnythat you say that 'cause I've
like literally have modeling place sitting next to me on
this. I bought it.
I bought it like when our seasonwas over 'cause it was just
like, I don't know, most of you probably don't know, but like
when my season ended, it was just tough like, and we

(54:41):
graduated a bunch of seniors, which was sad.
And so like I really had to likeI have like I had to buy a bunch
of coloring books and some markers.
Like I had to do some self reflection time, but I haven't
got some modeling for yet. But it's sitting next to me.
So it's. Yeah, I want to do some pottery.
I want to do some candles. I think getting creative is

(55:03):
just, we were made to do that. We were, oh, my other thing that
I got really into, that's my other creative outlet is baking.
I got so into baking, which might sound so good, but I am in
my feminine, divine feminine energy right now and I'm just
like, I love baking. I love it.

(55:23):
That's that's where I find so much joy.
I love baking at night after my kids go to bed, I just get in
the kitchen and I just freaking bake stuff and I'm like, I'm
going to try out a new recipe. I'm going to do this.
Nah, he he. Then I make Dan eat it and he's
like, I love that she's has a hobby that's baking.
I love it too because when I'm there the kids are going to bed

(55:45):
and we're like getting sat down for our late night chatting
session and she's like whipping something up that I get to try
so I always get so excited. That's also my other outlet is
yapping. I could yap all day.
Dude, when I'm telling you Keisha and I will stay up until
5:00 in the morning, morning talking like I'm telling you we

(56:06):
probably start 10:00, maybe somenights even 9:00.
And we don't like never once does the conversation get
boring. We have to, like, stop
ourselves. We literally go, come on man, we
got to go to bed. We can.
Just stay up all. Night the kids are running to
wake up and wreck our lives like.
Yeah. Oh, OK.

(56:27):
Also, one more little creative thing.
Maybe you're not super into drawing, or maybe you're not
super into like pottery or reading and like, like, I don't
know. I'm not creative, dude.
One, you are creative number one.
Number two, one thing that I find so much fun in is like
refreshing my devices. Like I love making my like

(56:48):
computer cute. Like you can go in Pinterest and
find a cute little Pinteresty background and then you can like
there's so many widgets out nowadays.
My iPad, same thing. I love to like sometimes I'll
even like, you know, let me try to draw a little background that
I like anything like fun like that.
You know, I just think that's kind of a cool way to express

(57:08):
yourself and is maybe a little bit more techie if you're not
super into drawing, painting, making sculptures or anything
like that. So I just wanted to throw that
out there too 'cause I feel likeif you are feeling in a down
place, definitely try to like revert back into like you know,
your true self, like what you really find joy in.

(57:29):
And always another creative outlet can also be like working
out, I think trying new workouts, going to a different
workout, dancing, like moving your body.
I think it's so essential for feeling good just in general.
I know I mentioned going on walks, but like try something
new and don't be scared to try abunch of different things

(57:53):
either. Like no one cares if it's your
first time, no one cares. No one cares.
The only person who cares is you, the only person thinking
about it. And you're like, Oh my gosh,
I've never done this before. It's my first time.
Is you. Everyone else is like, come on
in, girl. This is a community vibe now.
I feel like the girls are here for the girls everywhere.

(58:14):
Everyone wants to see you. Yes, they do.
They want to see you in the class.
Yes, they do. They want to see you trying the
new thing. Yes, they do.
They're proud of you for it. Yeah.
Yes, I was just going to say anytime I feel like I'm not
super flexible by any means, butanytime I go to a yoga class,
people are just like they're smiling, they're like, or even
the instructors like so happy tosee some new faces in here like,

(58:35):
which is just so fun. Like don't have to be a pro at
it. No.
And my new thing is like anything I want to try, I'm
going to try 34 years. Yeah, last year, but I was 3333
I learned to surf 34. I'm going to learn how to
skateboard. That's my goal this year.

(58:58):
I have a skateboard and I'm I just got to get a helmet, some
elbow pads, some knee pads, but I've at least been practicing
just like kick, push, kick, push, come on key.
So you got this like. You should get a penny board.
Those are so cool. I wanted one I don't.
Know what that is? It's like it's smaller than like
actual skateboard, but they're like cute.

(59:19):
They have like really cute designs.
Oh, I just got one for free fromJustin.
I was like, Justin, play borrow one of your boards for me to
learn how to skateboard. But that's my thing for 2025.
I was like skateboarding, I'm going to learn this.
So, but all that to be said, yougot this.
If you're feeling like you're inthe trenches, we see you and we

(59:45):
understand and we love you. Reach out to people.
It's OK. You're not a burden and you got
this. You can do this.
Take care of yourself. I'm not saying you have to do
everything we just said, but pick one and just start with it.
And like, like we said at the beginning of the episode, if if

(01:00:05):
the all natural way, yes, it took a long time.
It did. It took a long time.
It took me about two years. Two years, two years, start to
finish. Two years from the time it
started to the time I felt better so.
But you wouldn't take any of it back, like you wouldn't do it
any other way, right? No looking back, yeah.
No, it led me here. It led me exactly where we are

(01:00:28):
today. It led me to this podcast.
It led me to the place where we are right now.
And I learned so much from it and now I can understand other
people going through something tough and mental illness like it
is, it's so hard, but you can doit.
You're strong, you can do it. You have the ability to heal

(01:00:50):
yourself. Yes, you do.
I believe that with my whole heart.
We all have the ability to heal ourselves.
God give us everything that we need.
Like everything that you need isinside of you or around you.
He gave it to us. So or he or she or they source
whatever you want to call it. Like, I don't, I'm not going to

(01:01:10):
get all technical there, but I believe that you have the power
to heal yourself. Yeah, and also just kind of, you
know, we touched on it. Don't be afraid to read labels.
Read labels of your medicine, read labels of your food.
Just just make yourself educated.
Of course people can prescribe you stuff, but make sure you

(01:01:32):
know what's in it. You know what like you're
taking, make sure you feel comfortable with it.
It's OK to be like, you know what, I want another opinion.
I want to see someone else. I want to find a different Ave.
It's OK to challenge your doctorand be like, well, is there
anything else I can do for this?Just don't be afraid to advocate
for yourself and make sure that you are finding what truly is

(01:01:54):
best for you and not just takingthe first option that's offered
up. Like I did, because you could
end up on a whole freaking whirlwind of a journey.
And I just think as humans, we have a right to knowledge and a
right to know what we are putting in our body.
Definitely on that note, we wantto just leave you guys all

(01:02:17):
feeling so, so good. So you probably need to go on a
walk or something after this episode.
It was heavy. It was heavy.
We touched on a lot, but check in on the people you love, check
in on yourself and like Logan said, advocate for yourself,
check your labels and you don't have to take anything that you

(01:02:40):
don't want to take. If you're feeling down, Keisha
always says that our DMS are open, our girl Bible emails will
be linked on it on to everything.
I have our Instagrams in our on our Instagram page.
So if you know, you just kind ofwant to reach out kind of a
little bit more personally, don't hesitate, man.

(01:03:00):
We're here to help. You are loved, you are awesome,
you're amazing. You can do it.
OK babes, that's the T the sermon, the holding chapter for
today's episode of Girl Bible. If you laughed, nodded, gasped
or even whispered OMG same at any point, then my job here is
done. Don't be shy.
Hit follow so your podcast app serves up fresh wisdom every

(01:03:22):
week like it's your spiritual espresso.
And if you've got a SEC, drop a review.
It helps more fabulous weirdos like us find our way home.
Want to keep the combo going? Come say hey over on IG at Girl
X Bible. Seriously, slide into the DMS.
I do not bite unless it's over snacks or opinions on Zodiac
signs. Until next time, remember you're

(01:03:45):
the main character, the plot twist, and the moral of the
story. Stay bold, stay weird, and stay
flipping iconic. This is Girl Bible signing off.