March 7, 2025 • 33 mins
In this episode of the Gold Soul Podcast, Jessie Rockwell discusses the importance of aligning your prenatal provider with your birth vision. She emphasizes the need for expectant parents to understand their birth preferences, choose the right provider, and communicate effectively to ensure a supportive and empowering birth experience. Jessie also highlights key considerations in provider selection, identifies red flags in provider relationships, and encourages listeners to be their own advocates throughout the childbirth process.
You can also get her free interview guide of questions to ask your prenatal provider whether its an OB, Midwife, or Birth Center here!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Gold Soul, where empowered parenthood and conscious living meet.
(00:04):
I'm Jesse, a licensed home birth midwife here to explore birth, parenting, and personal growth.
Through real stories, reflections, and chats with holistic experts, we'll uncover fresh insights,
heartfelt support, and a bit of humor. Let's laugh, learn, and grow together through the beauty
and challenges life brings. Hello, welcome to the Gold Soul podcast. I'm your host,
(00:29):
Jesse Rockwell, a licensed midwife located in Southern California. Today, I wanted to talk about
the importance of aligning your prenatal provider with your birth vision. What does that mean? It
means making sure you're choosing a care provider for your pregnancy and your birth that aligns with
(00:50):
how you want the birth to go. This topic is one super near and dear to my heart, because I think
the lack of doing this in my own personal experience with my first pregnancy really led to the
driving forces to why I became a midwife. I took the advice of a friend, a colleague,
(01:12):
on the OB, the doctor that I was going to have for my first birth, and it was the worst piece of advice
I took. I'm thankful that I had the experience I had. If you've heard my birth story, you know why.
The whole reason I'm here doing what I do. But I didn't realize or even put any thought into
(01:39):
the type of birth I wanted during that pregnancy. So it is so important that we are choosing the
care provider that aligns with the type of birth we want. And that means we have to put some thought
in the type of birth we want from the very beginning, because that first prenatal visit
usually occurs right around eight weeks or so. So we need to kind of dive into a couple topics,
(02:04):
and we're talking about choosing that provider. So the first one, like mentioned, is understanding
your birth vision. What is the type of birth you want? So there's a few different locations where
your birth can take place. Some births take place in a hospital, most of them do. Some take birth
I'm sorry, take place in a in hospital birth center. Some take place in what's called a
(02:27):
freestanding birth center. And some take place at home. When you're deciding what type of birth
you want, you also have to consider, are you looking for a natural birth, which means a vaginal
delivery or unmedicated, a low, intervention birth, but you're open to some intervention,
or a medicalized birth you're planning on an epidural or a plan C section. It's really important
(02:53):
that we recognize every person's desires for their birth, for their ideal birth is coming from a very
unique and deeply personal place. It's a very intimate driving force of what type of birth we
want and where we choose to give birth based on either previous birth experiences, the imprinting
(03:16):
of other birth stories that we've heard, or just how we envision the experience to go.
So you first have to think about what type of birth you want and where it's going to take place,
because not all providers provide their services in all locations. So for example, not all midwives
(03:36):
have access or work in a birth center. Not all midwives have access or work in hospitals and
not all doctors support out of hospital birth. So we start there. I really encourage everyone to
consider what you value most, excuse me, in your birth experience. So what's the most important
(03:58):
thing to you? Is it to be in control during the experience? Is it to have minimal intervention?
Is it to have emotional support? Is it to have advocacy? Is it to have access to certain equipment
or expertise or certain departments like a higher level NICU because of your history or trauma?
(04:20):
So having those personal values very clear is going to be also a huge part in deciding where
your location is, which will lead to what type of provider you want. So the next thing to talk about
is the different types of prenatal providers. So as mentioned, there's a couple of different
options. There are obstetricians, which are doctors, they're medical doctors, they're board
(04:44):
certified surgeons, they're OBGYNs, they focus on their medical expertise. They are also awesome
experts in managing high risk pregnancies. And they often are more interventionists and take more
of an approach based on the medical model of care, which involves more interventions. Then you have
(05:09):
midwives. Midwives come in different levels of expertise as well as credentials. So midwives
across the board, excuse me, we tend to focus on more of a holistic low-interventive approach.
We provide continuity of care throughout pregnancy and birth, a little different than OBs. Our
(05:30):
structure of care can look a little different as well in regards to our postpartum schedules.
And then sometimes you can also find a more collaborative or integrative approach to care
providers, meaning you can have a blend of OBs and midwives that work together. Depending on your
(05:50):
region, this can be a little harder to find. In my opinion, it's optimal, but not everyone has access
to this. So this would be when you have a midwife because you're low risk, and that is the type of
care that you're seeking, but you have access to an OB in case there is some underlying conditions
(06:14):
that require that oversight, or you choose to feel more comfortable with having that oversight
involved in your care. So the next thing that we have to consider when choosing a provider are a
few different key considerations, such as philosophical alignment, credentials and experience,
communication and trust, the logistics and accessibility, as well as flexibility. So with
(06:39):
philosophical alignment, what do I mean by that? So having a provider's approach to the birth,
knowing what their approach is. So do they support natural birth? How many of their births are
unmedicated? How many of their births are medicated? How many of their births are cesareans? Do they
(07:00):
tend to lean more towards a medicalized approach or model? Or do they tend to lean more towards a
natural approach and model? Kind of going through the conversation with them on how they would handle
X, Y and Z situation. What does their go to? How do they navigate different situations that arise
(07:26):
in pregnancy? Do they take a more holistic approach and tackle it through body work and
supplementation? And what is their emphasis on education? These types of questions will help
you to gather what is their philosophical alignment. In regards to credentials and experience, I mean,
it's pretty self-explanatory. Depending on your state's regulations and the area that you live in,
(07:53):
you're going to be able to, whether it be fact checked and verify credentials or experience.
And I think word of mouth is also a really good way to navigate this because the community of
moms as well as the birthing community, talking to doulas and childbirth educators, asking their
opinions on providers that you're interested in or getting recommendations, that's a really great
(08:20):
place to start because these people know the inner workings really well and reputation as well as
experience of these providers. But there should be websites and databases that exist, whether it's
through your state's medical board or licensure, the agency that's overseeing licensure that can also
(08:44):
give you verification of certifications and licensure as well as any legal issues that provider has had.
The next one is really important to me, so communication and trust. So I tell everyone
that's coming into care with me that our foundation working together needs to be built on communication.
(09:10):
And it's about building trust that I am as a client's midwife, I'm the safety net, I'm the
lifeguard for their experience, but they're the one in the driver's seat. And in order for me to
do my job most effectively is for my clients to be able to do a complete trust fall and know
I'm going to catch them and know that I've got their back. But how do we build trust in any
(09:34):
relationship, whether it's personal or professional, through communication is through open communication,
honest communication. So for us being a private practicing midwife, that happens through our
prenatal visits. And that's the beauty of what we call continuity of care is because every prenatal
visit that my clients have with me, it's just me. So learning what is your provider's prenatal schedule
(09:58):
and structure? Are you going to be seeing other providers? And if so, how are we going to build
this trust? And what is their communication style? I think that's really, really important.
I also think talking on communication and trust, it's also really important to talk about expectations.
(10:20):
So a lot of people have heard me say this, but the kiss of death to any relationship,
professionally, personally, is unspoken and unequred upon expectations of the other party.
So if you have an expectation that your provider is going to show up for your birth,
that your provider is going to be available in town for your birth, well, you need to confirm
(10:40):
that you need to ask those things. I know that seems like it would be kind of a given, right?
But you would be surprised. So you need to make sure that your expectations of your provider,
you are clearly communicating that. And in turn, ask them what are their expectations of you,
whether it's within their personal practice or legal expectations. So for example, as a licensed
(11:06):
midwife licensed by the medical board in California, I am only allowed to attend your birth if you are
low risk. If the labor occurs spontaneously between 37 weeks and 42 weeks, if it's a singleton baby
and that little nugget is head down at the onset of labor. So those are my expectations of my clients
alongside some others. So again, communication and trust is built through that those open,
(11:34):
clear and transparent conversations as well as discussing expectations.
Let's also talk about another key consideration is logistics and accessibility.
So does the provider live close to you? How far away is their office? Where are the visits being
held? What are their office policies and office hours? What's the appointment availability like?
(11:58):
Is insurance a huge factor for you? Or are they going to be a cash paying provider? So talking
those things through is important because that can also come into play with your decision on who
you're going to hire. Sometimes, for example, OBs will have multiple offices and you might find out
(12:19):
that you're thinking that, okay, I really like this doctor. I'm going to deliver with this doctor at
this hospital and they have an office in this city, in this city, but city B is closer to me.
But you might not realize that the day that they're in that office is only one day a month or it
doesn't align with your schedule. So again, make sure you're checking those logistics and the
(12:43):
accessibility for you because that's really important. Personally, as a mom of four,
who's a working midwife, those things are going to matter to me. There are also some providers
and midwives specifically for out of hospital birth that provide what's called concierge service.
So what that means is they're going to offer their prenatal visits in home with you. Some midwives
(13:05):
will also, even if they have a clinical practice in office, they will also offer these services for
an extra fee if you live within a certain range. So ask those questions for sure when you're having
those consultations and we'll talk about consultations as well. Excuse me. And lastly, in regards to
key considerations is flexibility. It's really important to understand what is the provider's
(13:30):
flexibility to work with your evolving needs and pregnancy, especially if this is your first
pregnancy, you're going to learn so much and you're going to have lots of questions. And your,
your preferences, they're probably going to shift a few times on what your desires for your birth are.
And so having a provider that's going to be flexible and be a good listener and work with you
(13:56):
as you're navigating the biggest moment of your life is so important. So really, again,
dive into that communication and trust of learning your provider and also with the reviews that you
hear about them on what is the flexibility like with them. So another thing that we need to talk
(14:17):
about is red flags and cautionary signs. So in the birth world, we often hear about providers that
utilize what's called lip service. So they have all the right things to say at the beginning of the
consultation, but as you're navigating care within, you know, they're, they're during your pregnancy,
(14:39):
that they aren't really following up with the message that they sold you in the beginning, right?
So all of a sudden things start to feel kind of icky, you're kind of your gut and your intuition
is telling you like something's off here. This is not what I thought this is going to be like.
So we need to listen and pick up on those red flags and cautionary signs. So the first one
(15:04):
is the misalignment and birth philosophy. Do you sense that there's a disconnect between you and
your wishes and the provider's practice? Hearing how they talk about other experiences, other
birth stories, really hone in on that and asking their experience with the type of
(15:25):
birth preferences that you have. How good are they at communicating? Warning signs with poor
communication, dismissive behavior. That gets me worked up so much is dismissive behavior.
You are in a very vulnerable phase of life and a heightened emotional phase of life, rightfully so.
(15:51):
You deserve to be validated. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be respected. So if you
have a provider that is utilizing or excuse me, using dismissive language, dismissive body language,
any type of dismissive behavior, I encourage you to ask them like, okay, wait a second. I heard
(16:12):
you say this or you're kind of responding like this when I'm talking about this topic. Can you
talk me through why? Don't be afraid of having those hard conversations because it is going to
matter. You need to pick up on those red flags. Do you feel rushed during your appointments? If you
are so excited for your prenatal visit and you walk in with your list of questions and you've
(16:36):
been looking forward to disappointment for a month and all of a sudden the provider just is trying
to rush through the motions without reason. Sometimes we've got someone in labor and we know
we're going to have to jet out of the office soon, but I'm going to make sure you know that, hey,
this is what's going on right now. I'm not trying to rush you for any other reason other than I
want to make sure we get through the important stuff before I get called into this birth. But
(17:00):
if that's not the case and you're repetitively feeling rushed during your appointments, kind of
stop and question what's going on. In my practice, I have like a late frame policy that if you're late
past X amount of minutes, we're automatically going to have to reschedule our appointment
(17:20):
because I don't want the next person to have to feel super rushed. I want everyone to have as much
time as they need to feel heard and validated and held and loved. So pay attention. Are you
being rushed? Are you spending more time in the waiting room than you are with your provider?
(17:42):
Is there also a lack of willingness to talk about your birth plan?
Your birth plan needs to matter. It needs to matter to you, obviously, but also to your provider,
because it should be our job to work with you to help facilitate the best birth as possible,
as you know, we can within our ability, keeping everyone safe and within reason, right? But I
(18:08):
want to know about your birth plan. What can I do to make this the best birth possible for you?
So if your provider seems dismissive or rushing or doesn't want to talk about your birth plan,
those are red flags and I need you or I encourage you to dig deep and question,
is this the right provider for you? So let's talk a little bit about the consultation process.
(18:34):
So this one's a little different for every provider. A lot of OBs don't offer consultations.
Which I feel is really silly. Everyone should have the opportunity to interview their provider or
their potential provider. Most midwives and birth centers do offer consultations, whether they be
(18:55):
virtually, so on Zoom or FaceTime or any other type of online platform, excuse me, or in person.
So during this consultation, it should be taken really seriously. Everyone should be prepared.
So I encourage you to have a list of questions to ask on the things that matter to you, such as,
(19:16):
how do you support a low-intervent of birth if that's what you're wanting? What's your approach
if complications arise? I've also helped you guys out by providing on my website, www.goldsoulmidwifery.com,
you can put in your email address to get a free download of a list of questions. And I have made
(19:41):
lists for all different types of providers, whether they're hospital-based midwives, OBs,
out-of-hospital-based midwives or birth centers. So this can help you. There's a lot of questions
on here, so you might want to pick and choose which ones matter to you. You can also probably
google some of these lists as well, but be prepared. And during the consultation, it's obviously
(20:03):
important to get the most important questions answered, but also kind of tap into how you're
feeling. Assess the chemistry between you and the provider. See how comfortable you feel during
that initial consultation. What's their energy like? Can you close your eyes and think about your
(20:23):
birth and envision that person there holding you energetically as well as physically and being there
when you're welcoming your baby? That is so important. And while experience and more of the
logistical things are important as well, I personally think that connection is just as
(20:44):
important if perhaps not even more important. Also be really observant. What are you looking
for in regards to that type of relationship that matters to you? And are they fulfilling those?
Are they checking off those boxes? How are they with responsiveness? If you ask them some tough
(21:06):
questions, how do they respond? Do they give answers that perhaps aren't just what they know you want
to hear? So when you're asking hard questions on if it's an out-of-hospital midwife, what's the
transfer rate and how do you help facilitate the home birth or the birth center birth? What are
(21:29):
your opinions on X, Y, and Z? Sometimes I get asked questions that I know the answer that they're
wanting to hear, but that's not the answer I'm going to give. I'm going to be honest and I'm
actually going to encourage them to perhaps listen to how other people they consult with
answer the same questions and give them some pointers with that. So listen to that. Do they
(21:54):
seem empathetic? I think it's really important for birth attendees to always be humbled and be
really empathetic because we are walking a journey with families experiencing something so
transformative, potentially very healing, and it's important to be gentle and empathetic and
(22:18):
compassionate with those that we work with. So definitely hone in on to that. And again, going
back to the birth plan, when you mentioned the things that matter to you, maybe it's delayed
cord clamping, maybe it's that golden hour and it's immediate skin to skin, maybe it's I don't
want my baby to be rubbed unnecessarily. What is their willingness to collaborate with you
(22:45):
on those desires? And if they have personal opinions that they don't recommend those things,
are they willing to explain it to you rather than steamroll you? So listen and observe to how
they're responding in this consultation. So aside from the provider you choose, it's also
important that we're spending time creating and integrating a whole birth team together. So when
(23:11):
we're talking to the provider that we're consulting with or that we've already chosen, let's also
take it the next level and ask them their thoughts on doulas, doula support, or partner support and
involvement because you might learn a lot about the provider you thought was a good fit for you
based on their feelings around your birth team. So how do they also incorporate those other
(23:41):
roles in your experience into their practice? Do they recommend doulas? Do they have a list of
doulas that they refer to? How about lactation consultants? What are their feelings on placent
encapsulation and do they offer specialists that they refer to? So that's going to be a really big
one too because I can't tell you how many people are like, oh, I love my doctor. And then they're
(24:06):
like, oh my gosh, my doctor told me that I'm not allowed to have a doula or they make doulas sign
certain agreements saying they're not going to give certain advice and recommendations. And
it's like, gosh, okay, well, that would have been nice to have known from the very beginning.
And really, really assemble that team. This is like a sidebar, but assemble that team that of,
(24:30):
you know, birth, whether it's doulas or lactation consultants, other people in your,
your birth team, your network that not only matches with your birth philosophy, but also in
your, your choices for parenting, right? So your pediatrician, if you are going to have any type
(24:51):
of postpartum support, make sure that you are also utilizing these same tools in creating those
roles and in that network to support you because it really, it takes so much support and you want
to make sure that everyone that's going to be involved or potentially called upon to help
also aligns with what you're wanting. Okay, so next let's talk about the importance of being your
(25:21):
own advocate and really being empowered in your experience and what do we do if we find ourselves
in a hard situation when we thought we've made the right choice, but it's feeling like it's not.
So the number one thing is you can only rely on yourself to be your own advocate, right? So as
much as we might have a really phenomenal partner to support us or we might have the best doula in
(25:45):
the, in the game, in the market, right? Only you can really be your best advocate. So it's really
important for having strategies to help you find your voice to ensure that that voice is heard during
your prenatal care. So sometimes this looks like having a note of like, okay, these are the things
(26:07):
that I really want to discuss during this visit. And this is how I might respond if my provider
has some pushback. Sometimes it's role playing with your partner or with your doula even, I'm like,
okay, we're going to talk about my birth plan this visit. Can you kind of run through this with me so
I feel prepared in case there is pushback? And then in that appointment, how do we navigate it
(26:34):
if there is conflict? That can feel really scary to a lot of people having any type of conflict
with a healthcare provider, because white coat syndrome is a very real thing. We tend to feel
very intimidated by people in power, especially in a medical position. But you need to remember
(26:57):
that this is your body, this is your baby. And while your provider may be the expert in that,
you know, scope of prenatal care, you are the expert in how you want your birth to go and how
you want to be treated. So don't be afraid to speak up, find that voice. Always kind of lead
(27:20):
with an ear of wanting to learn and also kind of projecting how we want to be treated, right? So
being empathetic, being a good listener and being compassionate, but also like, okay,
but this is again, my experience, I hear you're saying this, but this is what I would really
like to happen. So how can we ensure that we can facilitate delayed cord clamping if it is
(27:46):
indeed not an emergency? So having those conversations in a slow pace, trying to
avoid any big blowups, but more than that, avoid getting steamrolled, because it happens all the
time. Stay informed. When a provider pushes back, if they say no to something that they're not going
(28:11):
to allow it, remember, they can't allow you to do anything with your body or your baby,
because you're in the driver's seat. Stay informed. If they're citing X, Y, and Z,
and you don't feel comfortable with it, make a note of it. Go home, research it,
and then come back, come back with that information, or if there's an after hours communication,
(28:37):
maybe send a message in your client portal and say, Hey, you know, following up on our conversation,
I know you had said this, can you, can you give me some resources? They should be able to help you
with resources. Otherwise, if you find something, then, you know, cite that to them on the importance
of, you know, why again, going back to delayed cord clamping, that's so important to you.
(28:59):
So really continue to research your options. And if there's ever a point in time where you're just
really feeling like there's a misalignment with the provider that you chose, remember,
you can break up with your provider. It's always an option. It's never too late. It might be hard
(29:20):
finding another provider at say 36 weeks, 37 weeks, but there are always options. And if you feel like
you cannot find the option, reach out to your local birth community. There are tons of Facebook groups,
Reddit groups, find a local doula and reach out to say, Hey, can you possibly help me get me in
(29:41):
touch with some people or put me in the right direction? Your local birth community is going
to be of such amazing service to you, especially navigating hardships like this, but never be
afraid to break up with your care provider and switch gears. Don't wait until the next birth.
Because guess what? Each birth matters just as much and each baby only gets one opportunity at
(30:04):
being born. So it's important how their birth experience goes as well. So in closing, just to
kind of recap what we talked about today, it is so important in choosing a prenatal provider that
aligns with your birth vision and your desires. If you want a medicalized birth, then choose a
medicalized provider that is the expert in that birth. If you want a low, interventional,
(30:30):
natural birth, then choose the expert in that. Know what the scope of practice is for every
provider and what their expertise is out of hospital midwives. They're the experts in low risk,
natural birth, because that's all they can do. OBs are the experts in higher risk, medicalized,
even surgical birth, because that's what they do. That's what they see. So it's very important that
(30:55):
you align with the provider for the birth experience you're wanting. You would not go to
an ophthalmologist for a pap smear, right? So make sure you're choosing the provider that is the
expert in the birth you want. Definitely do your research. Take that same piece of information
(31:15):
in selecting your entire birth team. Listen to your community, get plugged in with your local
birth community and get advice and referrals from those that also know the type of birth that you
want to have. Ask the questions, have the hard conversations. I encourage you all to download
(31:41):
my list of questionnaires for that consultation visit so you feel prepared in that consultation
and choosing your provider. If you've already chosen a provider, it's not too late to still take
that list of questions and ask them those questions too. Hey, this came up and I was
wondering about this. What are your thoughts on this? You can always ask the questions. It's never
(32:04):
too late, not just the consultation. I'd love to know your experience, how you went about choosing
your provider, what was the most helpful for you in navigating, making sure that that was the right
provider for you. And I would love any other questions you guys have on this topic or any other,
(32:26):
you know, topic ideas for the future that you would love to hear more about. Again, you can find
that list of questions to ask your provider on the website at www.goldsoulmidwifery.com.
Thanks for your time, guys, and I look forward to talking to you soon. Goodbye.
Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, connection, and conscious living.
(32:49):
If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone you love, and don't forget to subscribe
so you never miss a moment. Follow me on Instagram at Gold Soul Midwifery and sign up for the newsletter
to stay connected and in the loop. Until next time, stay grounded, keep growing, and remember,
your Gold Soul shines brightest to the beautiful and messy moments of life.
Welcome to Gold Soul, where empowered parenthood and conscious living meet.
(00:04):
I'm Jesse, a licensed home birth midwife here to explore birth, parenting, and personal growth.
Through real stories, reflections, and chats with holistic experts, we'll uncover fresh insights,
heartfelt support, and a bit of humor. Let's laugh, learn, and grow together through the beauty
and challenges life brings. Hello, welcome to the Gold Soul podcast. I'm your host,
(00:29):
Jesse Rockwell, a licensed midwife located in Southern California. Today, I wanted to talk about
the importance of aligning your prenatal provider with your birth vision. What does that mean? It
means making sure you're choosing a care provider for your pregnancy and your birth that aligns with
(00:50):
how you want the birth to go. This topic is one super near and dear to my heart, because I think
the lack of doing this in my own personal experience with my first pregnancy really led to the
driving forces to why I became a midwife. I took the advice of a friend, a colleague,
(01:12):
on the OB, the doctor that I was going to have for my first birth, and it was the worst piece of advice
I took. I'm thankful that I had the experience I had. If you've heard my birth story, you know why.
The whole reason I'm here doing what I do. But I didn't realize or even put any thought into
(01:39):
the type of birth I wanted during that pregnancy. So it is so important that we are choosing the
care provider that aligns with the type of birth we want. And that means we have to put some thought
in the type of birth we want from the very beginning, because that first prenatal visit
usually occurs right around eight weeks or so. So we need to kind of dive into a couple topics,
(02:04):
and we're talking about choosing that provider. So the first one, like mentioned, is understanding
your birth vision. What is the type of birth you want? So there's a few different locations where
your birth can take place. Some births take place in a hospital, most of them do. Some take birth
I'm sorry, take place in a in hospital birth center. Some take place in what's called a
(02:27):
freestanding birth center. And some take place at home. When you're deciding what type of birth
you want, you also have to consider, are you looking for a natural birth, which means a vaginal
delivery or unmedicated, a low, intervention birth, but you're open to some intervention,
or a medicalized birth you're planning on an epidural or a plan C section. It's really important
(02:53):
that we recognize every person's desires for their birth, for their ideal birth is coming from a very
unique and deeply personal place. It's a very intimate driving force of what type of birth we
want and where we choose to give birth based on either previous birth experiences, the imprinting
(03:16):
of other birth stories that we've heard, or just how we envision the experience to go.
So you first have to think about what type of birth you want and where it's going to take place,
because not all providers provide their services in all locations. So for example, not all midwives
(03:36):
have access or work in a birth center. Not all midwives have access or work in hospitals and
not all doctors support out of hospital birth. So we start there. I really encourage everyone to
consider what you value most, excuse me, in your birth experience. So what's the most important
(03:58):
thing to you? Is it to be in control during the experience? Is it to have minimal intervention?
Is it to have emotional support? Is it to have advocacy? Is it to have access to certain equipment
or expertise or certain departments like a higher level NICU because of your history or trauma?
(04:20):
So having those personal values very clear is going to be also a huge part in deciding where
your location is, which will lead to what type of provider you want. So the next thing to talk about
is the different types of prenatal providers. So as mentioned, there's a couple of different
options. There are obstetricians, which are doctors, they're medical doctors, they're board
(04:44):
certified surgeons, they're OBGYNs, they focus on their medical expertise. They are also awesome
experts in managing high risk pregnancies. And they often are more interventionists and take more
of an approach based on the medical model of care, which involves more interventions. Then you have
(05:09):
midwives. Midwives come in different levels of expertise as well as credentials. So midwives
across the board, excuse me, we tend to focus on more of a holistic low-interventive approach.
We provide continuity of care throughout pregnancy and birth, a little different than OBs. Our
(05:30):
structure of care can look a little different as well in regards to our postpartum schedules.
And then sometimes you can also find a more collaborative or integrative approach to care
providers, meaning you can have a blend of OBs and midwives that work together. Depending on your
(05:50):
region, this can be a little harder to find. In my opinion, it's optimal, but not everyone has access
to this. So this would be when you have a midwife because you're low risk, and that is the type of
care that you're seeking, but you have access to an OB in case there is some underlying conditions
(06:14):
that require that oversight, or you choose to feel more comfortable with having that oversight
involved in your care. So the next thing that we have to consider when choosing a provider are a
few different key considerations, such as philosophical alignment, credentials and experience,
communication and trust, the logistics and accessibility, as well as flexibility. So with
(06:39):
philosophical alignment, what do I mean by that? So having a provider's approach to the birth,
knowing what their approach is. So do they support natural birth? How many of their births are
unmedicated? How many of their births are medicated? How many of their births are cesareans? Do they
(07:00):
tend to lean more towards a medicalized approach or model? Or do they tend to lean more towards a
natural approach and model? Kind of going through the conversation with them on how they would handle
X, Y and Z situation. What does their go to? How do they navigate different situations that arise
(07:26):
in pregnancy? Do they take a more holistic approach and tackle it through body work and
supplementation? And what is their emphasis on education? These types of questions will help
you to gather what is their philosophical alignment. In regards to credentials and experience, I mean,
it's pretty self-explanatory. Depending on your state's regulations and the area that you live in,
(07:53):
you're going to be able to, whether it be fact checked and verify credentials or experience.
And I think word of mouth is also a really good way to navigate this because the community of
moms as well as the birthing community, talking to doulas and childbirth educators, asking their
opinions on providers that you're interested in or getting recommendations, that's a really great
(08:20):
place to start because these people know the inner workings really well and reputation as well as
experience of these providers. But there should be websites and databases that exist, whether it's
through your state's medical board or licensure, the agency that's overseeing licensure that can also
(08:44):
give you verification of certifications and licensure as well as any legal issues that provider has had.
The next one is really important to me, so communication and trust. So I tell everyone
that's coming into care with me that our foundation working together needs to be built on communication.
(09:10):
And it's about building trust that I am as a client's midwife, I'm the safety net, I'm the
lifeguard for their experience, but they're the one in the driver's seat. And in order for me to
do my job most effectively is for my clients to be able to do a complete trust fall and know
I'm going to catch them and know that I've got their back. But how do we build trust in any
(09:34):
relationship, whether it's personal or professional, through communication is through open communication,
honest communication. So for us being a private practicing midwife, that happens through our
prenatal visits. And that's the beauty of what we call continuity of care is because every prenatal
visit that my clients have with me, it's just me. So learning what is your provider's prenatal schedule
(09:58):
and structure? Are you going to be seeing other providers? And if so, how are we going to build
this trust? And what is their communication style? I think that's really, really important.
I also think talking on communication and trust, it's also really important to talk about expectations.
(10:20):
So a lot of people have heard me say this, but the kiss of death to any relationship,
professionally, personally, is unspoken and unequred upon expectations of the other party.
So if you have an expectation that your provider is going to show up for your birth,
that your provider is going to be available in town for your birth, well, you need to confirm
(10:40):
that you need to ask those things. I know that seems like it would be kind of a given, right?
But you would be surprised. So you need to make sure that your expectations of your provider,
you are clearly communicating that. And in turn, ask them what are their expectations of you,
whether it's within their personal practice or legal expectations. So for example, as a licensed
(11:06):
midwife licensed by the medical board in California, I am only allowed to attend your birth if you are
low risk. If the labor occurs spontaneously between 37 weeks and 42 weeks, if it's a singleton baby
and that little nugget is head down at the onset of labor. So those are my expectations of my clients
alongside some others. So again, communication and trust is built through that those open,
(11:34):
clear and transparent conversations as well as discussing expectations.
Let's also talk about another key consideration is logistics and accessibility.
So does the provider live close to you? How far away is their office? Where are the visits being
held? What are their office policies and office hours? What's the appointment availability like?
(11:58):
Is insurance a huge factor for you? Or are they going to be a cash paying provider? So talking
those things through is important because that can also come into play with your decision on who
you're going to hire. Sometimes, for example, OBs will have multiple offices and you might find out
(12:19):
that you're thinking that, okay, I really like this doctor. I'm going to deliver with this doctor at
this hospital and they have an office in this city, in this city, but city B is closer to me.
But you might not realize that the day that they're in that office is only one day a month or it
doesn't align with your schedule. So again, make sure you're checking those logistics and the
(12:43):
accessibility for you because that's really important. Personally, as a mom of four,
who's a working midwife, those things are going to matter to me. There are also some providers
and midwives specifically for out of hospital birth that provide what's called concierge service.
So what that means is they're going to offer their prenatal visits in home with you. Some midwives
(13:05):
will also, even if they have a clinical practice in office, they will also offer these services for
an extra fee if you live within a certain range. So ask those questions for sure when you're having
those consultations and we'll talk about consultations as well. Excuse me. And lastly, in regards to
key considerations is flexibility. It's really important to understand what is the provider's
(13:30):
flexibility to work with your evolving needs and pregnancy, especially if this is your first
pregnancy, you're going to learn so much and you're going to have lots of questions. And your,
your preferences, they're probably going to shift a few times on what your desires for your birth are.
And so having a provider that's going to be flexible and be a good listener and work with you
(13:56):
as you're navigating the biggest moment of your life is so important. So really, again,
dive into that communication and trust of learning your provider and also with the reviews that you
hear about them on what is the flexibility like with them. So another thing that we need to talk
(14:17):
about is red flags and cautionary signs. So in the birth world, we often hear about providers that
utilize what's called lip service. So they have all the right things to say at the beginning of the
consultation, but as you're navigating care within, you know, they're, they're during your pregnancy,
(14:39):
that they aren't really following up with the message that they sold you in the beginning, right?
So all of a sudden things start to feel kind of icky, you're kind of your gut and your intuition
is telling you like something's off here. This is not what I thought this is going to be like.
So we need to listen and pick up on those red flags and cautionary signs. So the first one
(15:04):
is the misalignment and birth philosophy. Do you sense that there's a disconnect between you and
your wishes and the provider's practice? Hearing how they talk about other experiences, other
birth stories, really hone in on that and asking their experience with the type of
(15:25):
birth preferences that you have. How good are they at communicating? Warning signs with poor
communication, dismissive behavior. That gets me worked up so much is dismissive behavior.
You are in a very vulnerable phase of life and a heightened emotional phase of life, rightfully so.
(15:51):
You deserve to be validated. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be respected. So if you
have a provider that is utilizing or excuse me, using dismissive language, dismissive body language,
any type of dismissive behavior, I encourage you to ask them like, okay, wait a second. I heard
(16:12):
you say this or you're kind of responding like this when I'm talking about this topic. Can you
talk me through why? Don't be afraid of having those hard conversations because it is going to
matter. You need to pick up on those red flags. Do you feel rushed during your appointments? If you
are so excited for your prenatal visit and you walk in with your list of questions and you've
(16:36):
been looking forward to disappointment for a month and all of a sudden the provider just is trying
to rush through the motions without reason. Sometimes we've got someone in labor and we know
we're going to have to jet out of the office soon, but I'm going to make sure you know that, hey,
this is what's going on right now. I'm not trying to rush you for any other reason other than I
want to make sure we get through the important stuff before I get called into this birth. But
(17:00):
if that's not the case and you're repetitively feeling rushed during your appointments, kind of
stop and question what's going on. In my practice, I have like a late frame policy that if you're late
past X amount of minutes, we're automatically going to have to reschedule our appointment
(17:20):
because I don't want the next person to have to feel super rushed. I want everyone to have as much
time as they need to feel heard and validated and held and loved. So pay attention. Are you
being rushed? Are you spending more time in the waiting room than you are with your provider?
(17:42):
Is there also a lack of willingness to talk about your birth plan?
Your birth plan needs to matter. It needs to matter to you, obviously, but also to your provider,
because it should be our job to work with you to help facilitate the best birth as possible,
as you know, we can within our ability, keeping everyone safe and within reason, right? But I
(18:08):
want to know about your birth plan. What can I do to make this the best birth possible for you?
So if your provider seems dismissive or rushing or doesn't want to talk about your birth plan,
those are red flags and I need you or I encourage you to dig deep and question,
is this the right provider for you? So let's talk a little bit about the consultation process.
(18:34):
So this one's a little different for every provider. A lot of OBs don't offer consultations.
Which I feel is really silly. Everyone should have the opportunity to interview their provider or
their potential provider. Most midwives and birth centers do offer consultations, whether they be
(18:55):
virtually, so on Zoom or FaceTime or any other type of online platform, excuse me, or in person.
So during this consultation, it should be taken really seriously. Everyone should be prepared.
So I encourage you to have a list of questions to ask on the things that matter to you, such as,
(19:16):
how do you support a low-intervent of birth if that's what you're wanting? What's your approach
if complications arise? I've also helped you guys out by providing on my website, www.goldsoulmidwifery.com,
you can put in your email address to get a free download of a list of questions. And I have made
(19:41):
lists for all different types of providers, whether they're hospital-based midwives, OBs,
out-of-hospital-based midwives or birth centers. So this can help you. There's a lot of questions
on here, so you might want to pick and choose which ones matter to you. You can also probably
google some of these lists as well, but be prepared. And during the consultation, it's obviously
(20:03):
important to get the most important questions answered, but also kind of tap into how you're
feeling. Assess the chemistry between you and the provider. See how comfortable you feel during
that initial consultation. What's their energy like? Can you close your eyes and think about your
(20:23):
birth and envision that person there holding you energetically as well as physically and being there
when you're welcoming your baby? That is so important. And while experience and more of the
logistical things are important as well, I personally think that connection is just as
(20:44):
important if perhaps not even more important. Also be really observant. What are you looking
for in regards to that type of relationship that matters to you? And are they fulfilling those?
Are they checking off those boxes? How are they with responsiveness? If you ask them some tough
(21:06):
questions, how do they respond? Do they give answers that perhaps aren't just what they know you want
to hear? So when you're asking hard questions on if it's an out-of-hospital midwife, what's the
transfer rate and how do you help facilitate the home birth or the birth center birth? What are
(21:29):
your opinions on X, Y, and Z? Sometimes I get asked questions that I know the answer that they're
wanting to hear, but that's not the answer I'm going to give. I'm going to be honest and I'm
actually going to encourage them to perhaps listen to how other people they consult with
answer the same questions and give them some pointers with that. So listen to that. Do they
(21:54):
seem empathetic? I think it's really important for birth attendees to always be humbled and be
really empathetic because we are walking a journey with families experiencing something so
transformative, potentially very healing, and it's important to be gentle and empathetic and
(22:18):
compassionate with those that we work with. So definitely hone in on to that. And again, going
back to the birth plan, when you mentioned the things that matter to you, maybe it's delayed
cord clamping, maybe it's that golden hour and it's immediate skin to skin, maybe it's I don't
want my baby to be rubbed unnecessarily. What is their willingness to collaborate with you
(22:45):
on those desires? And if they have personal opinions that they don't recommend those things,
are they willing to explain it to you rather than steamroll you? So listen and observe to how
they're responding in this consultation. So aside from the provider you choose, it's also
important that we're spending time creating and integrating a whole birth team together. So when
(23:11):
we're talking to the provider that we're consulting with or that we've already chosen, let's also
take it the next level and ask them their thoughts on doulas, doula support, or partner support and
involvement because you might learn a lot about the provider you thought was a good fit for you
based on their feelings around your birth team. So how do they also incorporate those other
(23:41):
roles in your experience into their practice? Do they recommend doulas? Do they have a list of
doulas that they refer to? How about lactation consultants? What are their feelings on placent
encapsulation and do they offer specialists that they refer to? So that's going to be a really big
one too because I can't tell you how many people are like, oh, I love my doctor. And then they're
(24:06):
like, oh my gosh, my doctor told me that I'm not allowed to have a doula or they make doulas sign
certain agreements saying they're not going to give certain advice and recommendations. And
it's like, gosh, okay, well, that would have been nice to have known from the very beginning.
And really, really assemble that team. This is like a sidebar, but assemble that team that of,
(24:30):
you know, birth, whether it's doulas or lactation consultants, other people in your,
your birth team, your network that not only matches with your birth philosophy, but also in
your, your choices for parenting, right? So your pediatrician, if you are going to have any type
(24:51):
of postpartum support, make sure that you are also utilizing these same tools in creating those
roles and in that network to support you because it really, it takes so much support and you want
to make sure that everyone that's going to be involved or potentially called upon to help
also aligns with what you're wanting. Okay, so next let's talk about the importance of being your
(25:21):
own advocate and really being empowered in your experience and what do we do if we find ourselves
in a hard situation when we thought we've made the right choice, but it's feeling like it's not.
So the number one thing is you can only rely on yourself to be your own advocate, right? So as
much as we might have a really phenomenal partner to support us or we might have the best doula in
(25:45):
the, in the game, in the market, right? Only you can really be your best advocate. So it's really
important for having strategies to help you find your voice to ensure that that voice is heard during
your prenatal care. So sometimes this looks like having a note of like, okay, these are the things
(26:07):
that I really want to discuss during this visit. And this is how I might respond if my provider
has some pushback. Sometimes it's role playing with your partner or with your doula even, I'm like,
okay, we're going to talk about my birth plan this visit. Can you kind of run through this with me so
I feel prepared in case there is pushback? And then in that appointment, how do we navigate it
(26:34):
if there is conflict? That can feel really scary to a lot of people having any type of conflict
with a healthcare provider, because white coat syndrome is a very real thing. We tend to feel
very intimidated by people in power, especially in a medical position. But you need to remember
(26:57):
that this is your body, this is your baby. And while your provider may be the expert in that,
you know, scope of prenatal care, you are the expert in how you want your birth to go and how
you want to be treated. So don't be afraid to speak up, find that voice. Always kind of lead
(27:20):
with an ear of wanting to learn and also kind of projecting how we want to be treated, right? So
being empathetic, being a good listener and being compassionate, but also like, okay,
but this is again, my experience, I hear you're saying this, but this is what I would really
like to happen. So how can we ensure that we can facilitate delayed cord clamping if it is
(27:46):
indeed not an emergency? So having those conversations in a slow pace, trying to
avoid any big blowups, but more than that, avoid getting steamrolled, because it happens all the
time. Stay informed. When a provider pushes back, if they say no to something that they're not going
(28:11):
to allow it, remember, they can't allow you to do anything with your body or your baby,
because you're in the driver's seat. Stay informed. If they're citing X, Y, and Z,
and you don't feel comfortable with it, make a note of it. Go home, research it,
and then come back, come back with that information, or if there's an after hours communication,
(28:37):
maybe send a message in your client portal and say, Hey, you know, following up on our conversation,
I know you had said this, can you, can you give me some resources? They should be able to help you
with resources. Otherwise, if you find something, then, you know, cite that to them on the importance
of, you know, why again, going back to delayed cord clamping, that's so important to you.
(28:59):
So really continue to research your options. And if there's ever a point in time where you're just
really feeling like there's a misalignment with the provider that you chose, remember,
you can break up with your provider. It's always an option. It's never too late. It might be hard
(29:20):
finding another provider at say 36 weeks, 37 weeks, but there are always options. And if you feel like
you cannot find the option, reach out to your local birth community. There are tons of Facebook groups,
Reddit groups, find a local doula and reach out to say, Hey, can you possibly help me get me in
(29:41):
touch with some people or put me in the right direction? Your local birth community is going
to be of such amazing service to you, especially navigating hardships like this, but never be
afraid to break up with your care provider and switch gears. Don't wait until the next birth.
Because guess what? Each birth matters just as much and each baby only gets one opportunity at
(30:04):
being born. So it's important how their birth experience goes as well. So in closing, just to
kind of recap what we talked about today, it is so important in choosing a prenatal provider that
aligns with your birth vision and your desires. If you want a medicalized birth, then choose a
medicalized provider that is the expert in that birth. If you want a low, interventional,
(30:30):
natural birth, then choose the expert in that. Know what the scope of practice is for every
provider and what their expertise is out of hospital midwives. They're the experts in low risk,
natural birth, because that's all they can do. OBs are the experts in higher risk, medicalized,
even surgical birth, because that's what they do. That's what they see. So it's very important that
(30:55):
you align with the provider for the birth experience you're wanting. You would not go to
an ophthalmologist for a pap smear, right? So make sure you're choosing the provider that is the
expert in the birth you want. Definitely do your research. Take that same piece of information
(31:15):
in selecting your entire birth team. Listen to your community, get plugged in with your local
birth community and get advice and referrals from those that also know the type of birth that you
want to have. Ask the questions, have the hard conversations. I encourage you all to download
(31:41):
my list of questionnaires for that consultation visit so you feel prepared in that consultation
and choosing your provider. If you've already chosen a provider, it's not too late to still take
that list of questions and ask them those questions too. Hey, this came up and I was
wondering about this. What are your thoughts on this? You can always ask the questions. It's never
(32:04):
too late, not just the consultation. I'd love to know your experience, how you went about choosing
your provider, what was the most helpful for you in navigating, making sure that that was the right
provider for you. And I would love any other questions you guys have on this topic or any other,
(32:26):
you know, topic ideas for the future that you would love to hear more about. Again, you can find
that list of questions to ask your provider on the website at www.goldsoulmidwifery.com.
Thanks for your time, guys, and I look forward to talking to you soon. Goodbye.
Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, connection, and conscious living.
(32:49):
If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone you love, and don't forget to subscribe
so you never miss a moment. Follow me on Instagram at Gold Soul Midwifery and sign up for the newsletter
to stay connected and in the loop. Until next time, stay grounded, keep growing, and remember,
your Gold Soul shines brightest to the beautiful and messy moments of life.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!