All Episodes

February 14, 2025 • 19 mins

In this episode of the Gold Soul podcast, Jessie Rockwell shares her personal journey into midwifery, highlighting the flaws she experienced in conventional birth practices and her awakening to alternative options. She emphasizes the importance of compassionate care and informed consent in the birthing process, advocating for every woman's right to know her options. Jessie discusses her transition into midwifery, driven by a desire to empower and support families during one of life's most significant moments. She also introduces her vision for the podcast as a space for connection, learning, and sharing birth stories.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Gold Soul, where empowered parenthood and conscious living meet.

(00:04):
I'm Jessie, a licensed home birth midwife here to explore birth, parenting, and personal growth.
Through real stories, reflections, and chats with holistic experts, we'll uncover fresh insights,
heartfelt support, and a bit of humor. Let's laugh, learn, and grow together through the beauty
and challenges life brings. Hi, I'm Jessie Rockwell, a licensed home birth midwife based

(00:29):
out of Southern California. This is the Gold Soul podcast, and I wanted to take the time to
introduce myself and really talk a little bit about what led me to starting this podcast
and what the vision for this space is. My journey into midwifery started with the birth of my first

(00:51):
kiddo, who's 12 years old. I went into that birth extremely naive, uneducated,
and a little bit ignorant. I grew up in a very western medicine household. My mom was a bedside
nurse for many years, and then pursued a path in pharmaceuticals. And when I got pregnant,
I took the very conventional, traditional route of having hospital birth, and I took the hospital

(01:16):
classes because I didn't know otherwise. I wasn't educated at all on alternatives and other options
and empowerment around birth. I tell this story often about how excited and elated I was in that
pregnancy. It was my first pregnancy. I was going to have a baby, and I grew up loving babies so

(01:36):
much, and it was now my turn to have my little baby. And I remember sitting in that office of
my OBGYN, who had came highly referred to me from some coworkers, and I was just so excited.
And just buzzing with excitement. I waited for about 45 minutes. When I had gotten into the

(01:57):
office, I waited even longer. And I remember a nurse practitioner walked in and she seemed very
rushed, very flustered, stressed. Not once was I asked, how was I feeling? I wasn't told congratulations,
but instead she instantly went into how I was overweight. And, you know, the complications

(02:19):
that that could bring in the pregnancy and the birth. And I was just so deflated. It was so
heartbreaking for me. It was not what I had experienced or I thought that that experience
was going to be. Never once got to meet the doctor. So I thought, okay, well, you know,
maybe the next time it'll be better because I'll actually get to meet the doctor.

(02:41):
So my next visit I went in, waited for quite a fair amount of time in the waiting room. There
are a lot of moms and families expecting there. And then I got in and I met a different nurse that
time, waited longer. And then the doctor came in and she didn't want to make eye contact with me.
She was looking at my chart. She's saying, mentioned similar comments about my weight.

(03:03):
And it was a in and out situation. And I was just crushed. That okay, I guess I had too high of
expectations. This is what it's going to be. The rest of the pregnancy kind of followed similar
patterns of that. And I got a little nervous as we got closer to, you know, the birthing window.

(03:25):
And I think I was about 35 weeks pregnant. I had gone out to Palm Springs with some
girlfriends. I was very pregnant, very uncomfortable, and it was very hot. And I was poolside.
And remember this woman staring at me. And now I know that stare. And if you've been
pregnant and if you've had a baby and you see other pregnant women, you know the stare. And it

(03:50):
is a stare of, oh, look how radiant she is. I want to go talk to her. She's pregnant. How exciting.
And so she found her way up to me and she said, congratulations. And, you know, she asked me what
I'm do. And she asked me, well, what's your birth plan? I looked at her. What do you mean my birth
plan? My plan is to have a baby. And what do you mean? And she said, well, are you having the baby

(04:14):
in the hospital? I said, yeah, I'm having the baby in the hospital. I did not realize that there were
alternative options to it. Then she goes, well, you know, do you have a, do you have, she asked,
did you take a childbirth class? And I said, yeah, I took class at the hospital. And she could tell
she kind of, she knew she knew my number, right? She goes, you know, it's a really great documentary

(04:36):
you should watch. It's called The Buses of Being Born. It's kind of like, oh, okay, that's interesting.
So fast forward, never watched the documentary at that time and ended up being induced at 40 weeks
in three days for preclampsia. I had gone to my weekly prenatal appointment and they took my
blood pressure six times and it was extremely elevated each time. And they basically said,

(05:01):
okay, you're going straight to the hospital. And they said, what do you mean I wish you're the
hospital? You're going to be induced. And I said, well, can I go home and get my stuff? Like I'm so,
this wasn't the plan, you know, and they said, you can grab your things, but then you need to go
straight to the hospital. So we went straight to the hospital and started the induction. And again,

(05:21):
I didn't know that there were options. And I feel like many women can resonate with this that and
it's sad for me to say this, but I didn't even know I could ask questions. I didn't even know
that I could say no, which is silly, right? It's our body, it's our experience. We have every right

(05:46):
to ask all the questions and say no and ask for alternatives, but I didn't know that. So started
on Sampatosan and things got real, real fast. I ended up wanting an epidural very early on.
And it wasn't recommended at the time. And so they had done, you know, the good old switch
and bait of, well, I guess it's not switch and bait, but they had asked, well, do you want

(06:09):
something to just take, take the edge off? I didn't even ask what it was. So I was given some
vettel and then when it was time to get an epidural, I got the epidural and I just felt so sick
and I felt just so unwell. I remember in that experience and it was a pretty fast induction.
21 hours later, she was born and there were complications during the birth. She had to be

(06:33):
taken away for a little bit and I had suffered some complications as well. So fast forward,
I don't want to go into all the nitty gritty of that, but we were discharged a few days later
and then we found our way back in the hospital, both of us. And I remember calling my doctor's

(06:54):
office multiple times with concerns. And I remember the first time I had called, I was dismissed and
to, you know, yeah, we'll leave a message. She'll call you back. But if you're really
worried, just go to the hospital. I said, well, I'd like to talk to her first to make sure
I'm not overreacting. She never called me back. Called again the next day and they
basically had said the same thing. And then finally we went back to the hospital and yeah,

(07:18):
so there were complications left and right. The first time I got to even talk to my doctor
was at this six week postpartum visit. And I was excited for this visit. I wanted to run through
the birth with her and ask her questions, you know, get her professional insight on what
had happened. And she just looked at me and she said, no, everything's fine. Everything's great.

(07:42):
Everything's fine. I was like, there is no way that that was normal. Like I was back in the
hospital, my baby had to go back in the hospital. There's no way that that's normal. And I realized
at that point that this is a flawed system. There's so much that's wrong with this. And during,
in the in between of that, we were struggling with lactation issues, which now knowing what I know,

(08:06):
should have been counseled on that before we even discharged that there was a huge risk with some
of the complications we had experienced, medications I was given, which later found out to against my
consent and didn't find out until I requested my hospital records and my second pregnancy. But
that's also another story. So had worked with a lactation counselor and went into this appointment

(08:34):
with a scowl. And she had asked me, you know, tell me your birth story. I told her my birth story.
And she looked at me and she held me and she was so compassionate and she was so empathetic.
So that must have been so hard. Did you have a doula? Did you have any support persons? I said,
wait, did I have a what? And she did a doula. And I was like, I've never heard that word before.
She's like, yeah, and she explained to me what a doula was. And it was like this aha light bulb

(08:58):
moment. At the time, I used to work in a very corporate job, had a whole different career.
But I just felt this calling. I just felt this is where I belonged, you know, and the thought that,
okay, you can help educate and empower in love on and hold families as they're navigating

(09:21):
one of the most exciting and kind of scary moments of their life. Like what an honor.
So I took a training when my daughter was little. She was just a few months old and volunteered at
a local birth center and just fell in love with the work, then met a wonderful friend who was also

(09:42):
new on her journey into birthwork. And we decided to start a doula agency together. And we were so
excited for this to just immerse ourselves in this community. And one thing led to another. I was
pregnant with my second baby knew that I was not going to birth in the hospital. We were not going
to go that route again. And ended up at the end of that pregnancy, having her at home, it was a

(10:09):
home birth with an amazing midwife. And it was so redemptive. It was so healing. It was this
water birth in front of the fireplace listening to Oda spreading. And it was everything I had
dreamt of that experience to be. And I never went back to my corporate job. We had a kind of like
a pregnancy and parenting support center where we had other providers working there. And we held

(10:33):
all sorts of different classes and groups. And it was awesome. And I just had this fire inside of
me that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. And throughout that second pregnancy, I kept
getting these whispers of midwifery. Like I would read it in a book and I would see something of
just this nudge, this whisper of this is what the path you're supposed to take. And it was right after

(10:58):
the second kid I was born that I was like, yep, I'm going to go down that path. I'm going to become
a midwife. And so I started midwifery school when she was really little. And I remember going to my
midwife and I was like, can I learn under you? Like I just admire you so much. And I really look up
to you and can I learn under you? And she's like, I don't take students when they're postpartum.

(11:18):
Like there's just, you need to focus on being a mom. And I remember being so sad because like,
what? But now I am so thankful that there was that consideration. She did end up letting me come on
board because she saw my dedication and that, you know, I was able to balance it. I started under my
midwife and it was such an amazing experience. And for me, the journey into birthwork and the journey

(11:44):
into becoming a midwife and a doula, it was never because and still isn't because I think that
everyone should have a home birth. And some of you probably heard me say this before. But it's
that everyone deserves the loves and the compassionate care and the empathy that in my opinion,
community based midwives provide. It's just, it's just different than normal in hospital

(12:10):
OB care. And I think everyone deserves that everyone deserves that love and to have someone
as a cheerleader and as equally excited as they are and to care about them as a person.
Even if, you know, the journey into this pregnancy wasn't what they had envisioned and
there's apprehensions to have someone that is going to hold you as you navigate that.

(12:32):
Someone that's going to empower you and help educate you in knowing your options,
regardless of what their personal opinions are. I think that was a really big one for me. And
to this day, I don't think that home birth is for everyone, but everyone deserves that level of care
and everyone deserves to know their options and to be empowered. We had to have the autonomy

(12:54):
of their experience, right? And informed consent is huge. Anyway, so yeah, my journey into midwifery
school, it was long. It takes most people about three years to finish midwifery school through
the didactic as well as the clinical. I had a lot of big life changes during that process.
A couple cross country moves until I finally finished. And during that time, I was able to

(13:15):
gain a lot of experience working at a birth center locally and seeing how different that world is,
as well as community based home birth midwives. And that was such a blessing. It was so much
hands on experience that I previously hadn't had to that level. And just again, seeing how
operations work a little differently. So yeah, to this day, it's been about 12 years of attending

(13:38):
births, hundreds and hundreds of births from, you know, lots of hospital births as a doula,
caesareans, some wonderful home twins and breeches. And it's been just amazing. And I then went to
birth two more babies at home. So it's magical. It's been a magical journey. And being in private

(14:00):
practice by myself in solo private practice is so special. And I knew that that's where my heart
really was compared to like a birth center, for example, because the level of connection I make
with my clients, I think is really unique because I'm their person. It's just me and them. We joke

(14:22):
about, you know, yeah, it's family centered care, bring your family and bring your bestie and bring
your auntie and bring all your kids. But it's also family centered care because you're going to see
my family too. So I really, we make those jokes, but really it's because that trust that is built
during prenatal care is really unique, right? Like you're inviting someone into the most sacred and

(14:46):
intimate moment of your life. And it's really important that you can lean into them and that
when they're in your presence during your birthing time, you can surrender and you can step out of
that mama brain and just let go and do the work you need to do and look at your midwife, look at
your birth team and know, they've got me. I'm good. I can surrender. And the way we get there is,

(15:08):
you know, the foundation is laid through that prenatal care and really getting to know each
other. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to know your fears. I want to know your hopes.
I want to know how you feel best loved and cared for. And in turn, I want you to see me as a fellow
mom, not just your midwife, not just the practitioner. So a lot of times my clients do, they meet my

(15:32):
whole family and they see me just as another person and that trust is there and they know
me inside and out. They know my intentions. So that's a little bit about my history. I had this
calling to start this podcast. It came about a few different ways. So I've always loved talking.

(15:53):
I really like talking. I really like connecting with people ever since I was little. It's kind of
my thing. I really thrive on community. I really thrive on meaningful connections. Having four
kids and having had a lot of different life experiences, I think it's there's beauty in
vulnerability and there's beauty in connection of hardships and growing together and soul seeking

(16:17):
and self-improvement emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, all the things. And
I have always admired those that had podcasts about, oh, that's so cool. But a lot of us suffer
from imposter syndrome. I could never do that. Who's going to want to listen to me? And I haven't

(16:38):
been a midwife for 20 years. Some of my really esteemed colleagues, no one's going to want to
listen to me. I had a client who is going to be on an episode with me. You're going to get to meet
her. And she's amazing. And she's a really phenomenal psychic medium. During one of her

(16:58):
postpartum visits, she's like, you know, you really need to have a podcast. And I was like,
okay, she's like, no, you really do. It's in the cards for you. You're supposed to.
Like, okay. And then I had a couple other people tell me, just give me that nudge and kind of,
you know, whatever your spiritual beliefs are, you know, I call them God whispers, right? Like,
just those little seeds of confirmation. Like, this is the path you're supposed to be on,

(17:25):
similar to, you know, how I found my calling to midwifery. And so I was like, all right, let's,
let's do it. So I bought some equipment and it sat in a box for years. For years, I didn't touch
this equipment. Because like, yeah, no, I'm not going to do it. Anyway, here we are. So my vision
with this is to be a space, a little corner in the world of podcasts on the internet, right?

(17:51):
To just connect really, whether we're talking about pregnancy and birth preparation and postpartum,
we're talking about the transition and the journey into parenthood. We're talking about,
you know, soul growth and self improvement, conscious living, all of the things, first stories.
It's just to be this place to come to and connect and hopefully feel seen, feel validated, maybe

(18:16):
learn something new, maybe share some laughs. My plan is for it to be a mixed model of having
some wonderful guest speakers on, whether they're practitioners in the conscious living or holistic
community, the birth space in general, or their moms that are here to share their birth story,
or just me popping on and saying hello and sharing what's on my mind. But I'm really honored to be

(18:40):
here. I'm a little nervous, a little intimidated, but I'm really honored and I'm really excited to
connect with all of you. You can find me on Instagram at Gold Soul Midwifery or my website
is GoldSoulMidwifery.com. I love a good chat. I love connecting. So please feel free to make
that connection. If there are any suggestions, if you have anything you want to contribute,

(19:03):
I would love to have you on. So thank you for your time. Thank you for trusting me with this
little corner. And I look forward to many, many more chats with you. Have a great day, guys. See you soon.
Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, connection and conscious living.
If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone you love and don't forget to subscribe

(19:25):
so you never miss a moment. Follow me on Instagram at GoldSoulMidwifery and sign up for the newsletter
to stay connected and in the loop. Until next time, stay grounded, keep growing, and remember,
your Gold Soul shines brightest to the beautiful and messy moments of life.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!

The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club

The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!

Fudd Around And Find Out

Fudd Around And Find Out

UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.