March 29, 2025 • 25 mins
Buckle up for a hilarious journey through America's strangest and most useless driving laws as we quiz you on which bizarre rules are fact versus fiction across all 50 states.
• Blindfolded driving is illegal in Alabama, though singing opera behind the wheel is perfectly fine
• Alaska prohibits transporting drunk passengers in taxis
• In Arizona, driving in reverse on public streets is against the law
• Arkansas bans honking near sandwich shops after 9pm - a remnant from drive-in restaurant days
• California made it illegal to jump from vehicles traveling at 65mph
• Florida requires payment for parking meters even when tying elephants to them
• It's illegal to change clothes while driving in Delaware (with a hilarious story about a commuter getting dressed at 65mph)
• Montana requires sheep to have a herder when transported in trucks
• Tennessee prohibits shooting whales from moving vehicles (in a landlocked state)
• Four states have five syllables in their names: Louisiana, North Carolina, South Carolina, and California (if mispronounced)
Send your weird or outdated driving laws to grandpaishim@gmail.com for a chance to be featured in an upcoming listener law segment!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lynn Dimick (00:11):
Hello road warriors , and welcome to Grandpa Is Him.
I'm Lynn Dimick and we'rediving into the hilariously
useless driving laws of America.
Let's play Factor Fiction RoadRules Edition.
We'll go down the list of all50 states and ask a question
about road rules.
You will have two answers tochoose from, but you may need to
(00:32):
be quick and you probablyshouldn't think too hard about
this.
Alright, alabama, number one.
Here's a head scratcher.
Can you get a ticket forsinging opera behind the wheel
or for driving with a blindfold?
Believe it or not, it's theblindfold that'll get you into
(00:53):
trouble.
I know, obvious, right, butsomeone back in the day felt
they needed to write that down.
That makes you wonder what werethose early car rides like?
Were they really that wild?
Why would you want to play pinthe tail on the donkey at 65
miles an hour?
Our second exit on this highwayis Alaska, where they have some
(01:13):
unique concerns.
Is it a no-go to drive amoose-drawn sled on a Tuesday or
to transport a drunk in a taxi?
Surprisingly, the actual law isabout those taxi rides.
Seems reasonable, but what ifyou're the designated driver?
(01:37):
Can you imagine what it musthave been like in those early
gold rush days to have to havethat as a law.
Let's leave the frozen tundraof Alaska and head south to
Arizona, the land of sunshineand strange laws.
Is it illegal to wear asombrero while driving a golf
cart or to drive in reverse on apublic street?
Well, it turns out that drivingin reverse is a no-no, unless,
(01:57):
of course, you're backing out ofa spot.
But I want to share with you astory that happened to me.
My very first car was an oldstation wagon that was breaking
down.
I bought it for $100, and Idrove it for a week and on
Friday of that week thetransmission went out completely
, which I knew was going tohappen.
I got it off the freeway to agas station and I got up early
(02:18):
Saturday morning and the onlyway I could get it to the dealer
to get the transmissionrepaired was to drive it in
reverse three miles.
So I had somebody drivingbehind me to keep people away
from me and I drove the wholeway looking over my shoulder.
Not something I would recommend, and I fully understand this
law.
Let's move on to Arkansas.
(02:39):
What's weirder feedingsquirrels in a clown costume or
honking your horn late at nightnear a sandwich shop?
Believe it or not, it's thehonking after 9 pm.
Imagine those late night snackruns getting too rowdy.
And the truth is I think Iunderstand this one Years ago,
(03:00):
before there were drive-thrus,there were drive-ins, which were
really drive-ups.
Now what you'd do is you woulddrive your car into the
restaurant and park and then youwould honk to let them know you
were there.
They would come out and takeyour order and bring it to you.
I imagine it was prettyannoying to the neighbors when
you pulled up after 9 pm toplace your order for a burger
(03:20):
and a Coke.
Moving on to number five on ourlist, california, the land of
Hollywood, can you get introuble for singing show tunes
while changing a flat tire orjumping from a car going 65
miles an hour?
The truth is, it's that jump.
That's illegal, obvious, right,but someone somewhere thought
(03:41):
it was necessary.
Did a stuntman try this?
And the next question is whereare you going to drive 65 miles
an hour?
In California?
Now, I do have to admit thatseveral years ago, maybe 45
years ago, I did manage to crasha motorcycle at speeds that
were in excess of 65.
And it's not an experience Iwant to repeat and I would not
(04:04):
recommend that anybody else, tryme if you don't believe me.
At number six we have Colorado,rocky Mountain, high and High
Weirdness.
Is it illegal to wear skiswhile driving a car or to drive
a black car in Denver on Sundays?
Believe it or not, it's theblack car on Sundays.
It's an old one, likely fromhorse-drawn carriage days.
(04:27):
And now we're on to Connecticut, where they're serious about
safety.
Is it illegal to juggle whiledriving a tractor or to hunt
from a vehicle on a highway?
The actual law is about hunting.
Makes sense, right?
I can just picture thosehunters in the early days
driving in their brand new motorcarriages Not pretty.
(04:50):
Delaware is next on our listwhere, apparently, public
decency matters.
Can you change your clothes inyour car at a red light?
Or wear pajamas while driving ahorse-drawn carriage?
Or wear pajamas while driving ahorse-drawn carriage?
The truth is, changing in yourcar is a no-go.
No impromptu fashion shows.
(05:11):
Were there very many complaints, though?
I have to tell you this storyYears ago we used to live in
Riverside County and I worked inOrange County, and to show you
how long ago it was, it was a55-mile drive that took 55
minutes, and I would drive therein the morning, and one morning
I noticed there was a, and toshow you how long ago it was, it
was a 55 mile drive that took55 minutes, and I would drive
there in the morning.
And one morning I noticed therewas a pack of about six or
seven cars passing, everybody onthe right-hand side, and it
(05:34):
looked like they had a car boxedin.
Well, it turns out that therewas a young lady who I thought
she got a late start, butbecause she did this more than
one day, that's not the case.
Anyway, what she was doing isshe was wearing what looked like
a baby doll type nightie andshe was getting dressed while
driving on the car at 65 milesan hour.
(05:55):
And she had quite the audience,quite the crowd, quite the
attraction.
I don't know whatever happened,but I sure didn't miss her or
the chaos she brought.
And now we're on to Florida.
Florida, I don't know what tosay, but it's always unique.
Do you have to pay for parkingif you tie an elephant to a
meter?
Or is it illegal to wear a fullsuit of armor while riding your
(06:17):
bike?
You gotta pay for that elephant.
Imagine the meeting that led tothat law.
I wonder if it was a travelingcircus issue.
Apparently, in Georgia they liketheir playground safe.
Is it illegal to wear a hatwhile driving a mule cart in the
park or to drive through aplayground?
It's the playground.
(06:37):
I wonder if somebody actuallytried this.
Aloha Hawaii, where pickups areking.
Aloha Hawaii, where pickups areking.
Is it illegal to transportpineapples in a convertible
trunk or to have passengers in apickup bed?
The actual law is about thosepassengers.
Remember safety first.
(06:58):
And here comes Idaho, at number12, where they're strict about
Sundays.
Can you ride a merry-go-roundon Sundays or wear a chicken
suit while driving a tractor?
The truth is no merry-go-roundson Sunday.
Blue laws, you know.
Now we come to the land ofLincoln, and I don't mean
Lincoln, the car, illinois.
(07:19):
They don't like mobile dressingrooms.
Is it illegal to wear a clownnose while driving a semi or to
change clothes while driving?
It's the changing clothes.
Again.
Was the car's invention aproblem?
I guess all I can add is if youknow, you know.
Moving on to Indiana, wherethey're picky about cargo, is it
(07:42):
illegal to drive a car with afull load of hay on the highway
or to wear a mustache thatcauses laughter while driving?
The actual law is about thathay.
Rural to urban transitions.
You know Number 15 will stay inthe Corn Belt, iowa.
They've got some practicalconcerns.
Is it a no-no to drive atractor on the highway without
(08:03):
flushing lights, or is it afashion faux pas to wear a mask
while driving a horse-drawncarriage?
The actual law is about thoseflashing lights.
Makes sense, right.
Safety first always, especiallywhen you're moving slow on a
fast road, you get thesetractors and cars mixing and you
(08:25):
need to make sure that everyonesees everyone.
In Kansas they do not like deadpoultry on the streets.
No-transcript Turns out it'sthe poultry.
Public health.
You know this one may seemsilly but it really is a
practical health problem Withthe recent spread of the bird
(08:48):
flu.
Can you imagine if a sick birdspread their feathers all over
the countryside?
Number 17, we have Kentucky, thehome of a famous horse race,
but Kentucky is also wherefishing is serious.
Horse race, but Kentucky isalso where fishing is serious.
Can you fish from a movingvehicle on the highway or drive
(09:10):
a car with a horse in the back?
The truth is no fishing from amoving car distracted driving in
its weirdest form.
Besides, I don't know too manyfishes that can swim as fast as
a moving car.
Moving on to Louisiana, wherethey're in the United States by
name only, I think, can you honkyour horn at an alligator or
wear a mask while driving in aMardi Gras parade?
(09:32):
No, honking at alligators,they're sensitive creatures, you
know.
Moving northeast to Maine,where parking is precious, can
you park in front of a Dunkin'Donuts or wear a lobster bid
while driving a convertible?
The answer is no.
Parking in front of Dunkin'sMust have been a long line issue
(09:54):
out on the streets.
Number 20, we have Maryland, thehome of crab cakes, where they
like their roads civil.
Can you swear while driving ona highway or transport a lion to
the movies?
No, swearing, road rage control, you know.
Staying on the East Coast, wecome to Massachusetts, where
(10:15):
birds are backseat drivers.
Can you drive with a goose inthe front seat or a gorilla in
the back seat?
It's the goose Distracting,they say.
We're off to number 22, michigan, where fish have rules.
(10:36):
Can you drive with an opencontainer of fish or a pile of
skunks in the trunk?
No, open fish Smells, you know.
And Minnesota has one of theweirdest laws of all.
Can you drive a red car on LakeStreet or a car with a live
duck on your head.
No red cars on Lake Street Veryspecific.
I would really like to know moreabout the background of this
(10:57):
one.
At number 24, mississippi mightbe closer to Alabama than just
geography.
Can you honk at a chicken ordrive blindfolded?
No, honking at chickens.
They're sensitive creatures,you know.
I do remember as a youngsterbeing on my grandparents' farm
(11:18):
and we would help collect theeggs and my grandmother was
always very adamant and wasquite stern in telling us do not
chase the chickens, it couldhurt them when they're trying to
lay eggs and kill them.
And we had chicken dinner morethan once from chickens that
well, they didn't want to stickaround and be picked up.
Oh, and we weren't reallychasing them, we were just
(11:40):
following them closely quickly.
Number 25, missouri.
Can you drive with bears in thecar or an open beer?
Even though there's just oneletter difference between beer
and bear, the answer is no bears, and that's with an A, not an E
.
All right, there, you've gotthe first 25.
(12:03):
I wanted to give you a quickbreak and share a story with you
.
When I was a child, it was agreat thrill to be able to call
my grandparents on the phone,and we would have to wait until
Sunday evenings after 5, whenthe rates were the lowest, and
it was just a thrill to heartheir voice and tell them what
was going on.
Well, nowadays kids have gotcell phones and they can call
anytime they want, and it's notjust audio calls, it's video
(12:26):
calls.
One morning I got a video callfrom my granddaughter, hallie,
who is six years old, and shewas sharing me her latest
tumbling and gymnastic stunts,which in my case involves
staring at a phone that wasspinning wildly out of control.
And finally she put the phonedown and she says okay, grandpa,
guess where the phone is.
Well, I had seen enough scenesto know that it was the basement
(12:49):
.
So I said I'm in the basement.
She says yep, and she saysguess again.
And she covered the lens andput the phone somewhere, took
her finger off and said guesswhere you are now?
And I could see some blinds andI could see the outline of a
basement window.
And I said I'm in thewindowsill of the basement.
She says yep, that's prettygood.
(13:11):
She says now, guess where youare.
And the next thing I know she'sgot her thumb on the lens and I
can hear her running up thestairs.
I can hear a door open, I canhear the phone being put down
and the door closed and she saysnow guess where you are.
Well, I figured the only placeshe could really go because I
know the layout of their houseand that was as dark as it was
(13:32):
is the pantry.
So I said pantry.
She says grandpa.
How did you know?
And of course my answer wasbecause grandpa is him.
Let's get back to our list andwe'll pick up with number 26.
Montana, can you drive atractor in full armor or do
sheep need a sheep herder whenthey're in a truck?
(13:53):
Sheep need a herder.
Old west problems.
I guess number 27 is anotherone that has me scratching my
head.
Nebraska they like theirmountain roads orderly.
Can you drive a car whilewearing a corn husk suit or must
you drive to the right onmountain roads?
Driving to the right mountainetiquette?
(14:15):
I just want to know where inNebraska they found a mountain
to test this on.
Let's head out west to Nevada,where they've never seen a left
lane on the highway that theydidn't like to camp in.
Can you drive a slot machine onwheels or ride a camel on a
highway?
No, camels on the highway Mustbe a Vegas problem.
(14:38):
New Hampshire, where apparentlyhay is a hazard.
Can you drive a fishing boat onthe highway or with hay in the
road?
No, hay in the road, ruralroadblocks, they say.
Moving down the turnpike a bit,we come to New Jersey, the land
of strong opinions.
(14:58):
Can you get in trouble forfrowning at a cop or for wearing
a full tomato sauce suit whiledelivering pizzas?
Turns out, it's that frownthat'll get you Respect the
badge, even with your face.
You know, jersey's always beena place where they like to keep
things orderly.
Forget about it.
At number 31, we have the Landof Enchantment, new Mexico.
(15:21):
Can you drive a lowrider in achili pepper suit or with untied
shoes?
Untied shoes are a no-go.
You may need to consider VelcroIn the Big Apple, new York.
Can you drive a taxi in aBroadway costume or in slippers?
No, slippers.
(15:44):
Comfort versus safety, you know.
Next up we have number 33, northCarolina, which will be a
subject of a question at the endof the entire list.
So pay attention.
Can you play chicken with atrain or drive a tractor in a
tobacco leaf suit?
The answer is no.
(16:04):
Plain chicken with trains.
Obvious right Makes you wonderwhat happened that made them
have to codify that In NorthDakota, where I'm not sure that
there's enough people there torequire these laws, they do have
one.
Can you drive a combine in acornstalk suit or a wagon while
drunk?
It turns out that no drunkwagon driving is permitted.
(16:26):
Old habits die hard, I guess.
On to Ohio.
Is it legal to run out of gasin Youngstown?
Or to drive a golf cart in afootball helmet?
Well, it turns out that runningout of gas in Youngstown is
illegal.
Plan ahead, people.
At number 36, we have Oklahoma,where the Never mind.
(16:50):
Can you read a comic whiledriving or drive a covered wagon
in a cowboy hat?
Yee-haw, no reading comics.
Eyes on the road.
How about Oregon?
Must you yield to pedestrianson the sidewalk or drive a
chainsaw on wheels?
(17:10):
Yield to pedestrians.
Common sense, people, commonsense.
And traveling down this highwayof mirth, we come to the
off-ramp for Pennsylvania.
Can you drive without a horn ora steam car in an Amish hat?
Can you drive without a horn ora steam car in an Amish hat?
It turns out, no drivingwithout a horn.
Again, safety first.
(17:33):
Exit number 39 is Rhode Island.
Can you transport open liquoror drive a duck boat in a sailor
suit?
No, open liquor.
Keep it sealed, out of sight,out of mind, out of reach,
especially out of reach, please.
Number 40, south Carolina, wheredistracted driving must be a
(17:55):
problem.
Can you drive a wagon on MainStreet on Thursday or can you
drive a wagon while eating asandwich?
No wagons on Main StreetThursday, traffic flow.
You know this one is a littlebit tricky.
South Dakota Can you drive atractor downtown during rush
hour or a covered wagon on theinterstate while wearing a full
(18:18):
buffalo costume?
The answer is no tractorsdowntown during rush hour.
The answer is no tractorsdowntown during rush hour.
I'm not sure where you'reeither going to find a buffalo
suit on the interstate with acovered wagon or there's going
to be a downtown rush houranywhere in South Dakota.
But it's the law.
(18:38):
At number 42, we have Tennessee,where apparently both whales
and elephants are protected.
Can you shoot a whale from amoving vehicle or drive a
monster truck in an elvishjumpsuit?
No shooting whales.
(18:59):
Landlocked state, but still why?
We're on to Texas, whichoriginated the phrase here.
Hold my beer.
Can you drive without wipers ora horse-drawn carriage through
a Whataburger drive-thru?
There is no driving withoutwipers.
Safety first, y'all.
Moving on to Zion, aka Utah,can you make a U-turn in a
(19:21):
school zone during recess ordrive a camel on a highway?
No U-turns in school zonesduring recess.
Kids safety first.
We're up to number 45, vermont,the peaceful state.
Is it against the law to drivea car while dressed as a moose
(19:41):
or to drive a car on a dirt road?
The truth is it's the dirtroads you gotta watch out for.
They're trying to keep thoseroads in good shape and regular
cars well, they just don't help.
It's a rural thing, you know.
At 46, we have Virginia, and itkind of makes you want to say
isn't that a blaring glimpse ofthe obvious?
(20:03):
Can you drive withoutheadlights after sunset or honk
at a skunk?
The answer, obviously, is nodriving without headlights,
nighttime safety.
Next, at number 47, we haveWashington, the state, not the
district.
Can you drive with a visible TVscreen or a monster truck
(20:23):
through Pike Place Market?
The answer is no, visible TVscreens.
They're a modern distraction,although driving a monster truck
through Pike Place Market wouldbe kind of fun and kind of cool
, but you might get pelted bythe flying fish.
We're down to our last three, 48, virginia, where ferrets are a
(20:44):
driving hazard.
Can you drive with a ferret ora raccoon on a leash?
The answer is no driving with aferret.
They're just too curious.
Number 49, we have Wisconsin,where cows belong in the pasture
.
Can you drive with a cow in thebackseat or an open container
of cheese?
No, cows in the backseat.
(21:08):
Safety first and finally, wehave number 50, wyoming, where
wagons on interstates just donot mix.
Can you drive a horse-drawnwagon on the interstate, or a
tour bus through Yellowstonewhile wearing a full dinosaur
costume?
The answer is no wagons on theinterstate Modern highways.
(21:30):
You know, recently I saw a memeon social media that said that
there was only one state in thecountry with five syllables in
the name, and I thought that'sridiculous.
There's no way that's true,because I can name two right off
the top of my head.
So I'm going to give you aboutfive seconds or so of some
wonderful background music maybesome more of that banjo toe
(21:54):
tapping stuff and let you thinkabout it.
How many states can you namethat have five syllables in them
?
Syllables in them.
Okay, the answer is that thereare four Louisiana, north
(22:15):
Carolina and South Carolina, andthe fourth one is California.
Now wait a minute.
I live in California.
I know how many syllables ithas.
It has only four.
So I did some research andapparently some people don't
know how to pronounce it right.
It's California, not California.
(22:36):
So if you call it California,you get your fifth syllable.
I think it's all hooey.
And so, to help wrap things up,I want to share with you a story
that involves Stevie Wonder andTiger Woods.
Stevie and Tiger were in thebar one night talking about golf
and singing.
Woods turned to Wonder and sayshow was the singing career
(22:58):
going?
Stevie Wonder replies not toobad.
How's the golf?
Woods replies not too bad.
I've had some problems with myswing, but I think I've got that
fixed right now.
Stevie says I always find thatwhen my swing goes wrong, I need
to stop playing for a while andnot think about it.
Then the next time I play, itseems to be all right.
(23:18):
Tiger says you play golf?
Woods replies oh yeah, I'vebeen playing for years.
And Woods says but you're blind.
How can you play golf if you'reblind?
Wonder replies I get my caddyto stand in the middle of the
fairway and call to me.
I listen for the sound of hisvoice and I play the ball
towards him.
Then, when I get to where theball lands, the caddy moves to
(23:42):
the green or farther down thefairway and again I play the
ball towards his voice.
But how do you putt?
Asks Woods.
Well, stevie says I get mycaddy to lean down in front of
the hole and call to me with hishead on the ground and I just
play the ball towards his voice.
Woods says that's amazing.
What's your handicap?
And Stevie says well, I'm ascratch golfer.
(24:02):
Woods has a hard time believingthis and he says to Stevie
we've got to play aroundsometime.
Wonder replies well, peopledon't take me seriously, so I
only play for money and neverplay for less than $10,000 a
hole.
Woods thinking about it andsays okay, I'm game for that.
What would you like to play?
Stevie says pick a night, anynight.
(24:25):
All right, folks.
There you have it All 50 statesand a whole lot of
head-scratching moments.
I hope you've enjoyed this wildride through the world of
useless driving laws, and I wantto give a special call out to
Blake for helping edit thisedition.
He caught some mistakes in itthat would have made this a real
disaster, and he and I aregoing to be collaborating on a
(24:48):
segment all about the MidnightDonut Run.
But before we go, I want tohear from you.
Do you know of any weird oroutdated driving laws in your
area?
Send them to grandpaishimcom atgmailcom.
We may feature the best ones inan upcoming listener law
segment.
This is Len Dimmick, remindingyou to keep your wheels turning
(25:12):
and your laws well, at leastmildly sensible.
Hello road warriors , and welcome to Grandpa Is Him.
I'm Lynn Dimick and we'rediving into the hilariously
useless driving laws of America.
Let's play Factor Fiction RoadRules Edition.
We'll go down the list of all50 states and ask a question
about road rules.
You will have two answers tochoose from, but you may need to
(00:32):
be quick and you probablyshouldn't think too hard about
this.
Alright, alabama, number one.
Here's a head scratcher.
Can you get a ticket forsinging opera behind the wheel
or for driving with a blindfold?
Believe it or not, it's theblindfold that'll get you into
(00:53):
trouble.
I know, obvious, right, butsomeone back in the day felt
they needed to write that down.
That makes you wonder what werethose early car rides like?
Were they really that wild?
Why would you want to play pinthe tail on the donkey at 65
miles an hour?
Our second exit on this highwayis Alaska, where they have some
(01:13):
unique concerns.
Is it a no-go to drive amoose-drawn sled on a Tuesday or
to transport a drunk in a taxi?
Surprisingly, the actual law isabout those taxi rides.
Seems reasonable, but what ifyou're the designated driver?
(01:37):
Can you imagine what it musthave been like in those early
gold rush days to have to havethat as a law.
Let's leave the frozen tundraof Alaska and head south to
Arizona, the land of sunshineand strange laws.
Is it illegal to wear asombrero while driving a golf
cart or to drive in reverse on apublic street?
Well, it turns out that drivingin reverse is a no-no, unless,
(01:57):
of course, you're backing out ofa spot.
But I want to share with you astory that happened to me.
My very first car was an oldstation wagon that was breaking
down.
I bought it for $100, and Idrove it for a week and on
Friday of that week thetransmission went out completely
, which I knew was going tohappen.
I got it off the freeway to agas station and I got up early
(02:18):
Saturday morning and the onlyway I could get it to the dealer
to get the transmissionrepaired was to drive it in
reverse three miles.
So I had somebody drivingbehind me to keep people away
from me and I drove the wholeway looking over my shoulder.
Not something I would recommend, and I fully understand this
law.
Let's move on to Arkansas.
(02:39):
What's weirder feedingsquirrels in a clown costume or
honking your horn late at nightnear a sandwich shop?
Believe it or not, it's thehonking after 9 pm.
Imagine those late night snackruns getting too rowdy.
And the truth is I think Iunderstand this one Years ago,
(03:00):
before there were drive-thrus,there were drive-ins, which were
really drive-ups.
Now what you'd do is you woulddrive your car into the
restaurant and park and then youwould honk to let them know you
were there.
They would come out and takeyour order and bring it to you.
I imagine it was prettyannoying to the neighbors when
you pulled up after 9 pm toplace your order for a burger
(03:20):
and a Coke.
Moving on to number five on ourlist, california, the land of
Hollywood, can you get introuble for singing show tunes
while changing a flat tire orjumping from a car going 65
miles an hour?
The truth is, it's that jump.
That's illegal, obvious, right,but someone somewhere thought
(03:41):
it was necessary.
Did a stuntman try this?
And the next question is whereare you going to drive 65 miles
an hour?
In California?
Now, I do have to admit thatseveral years ago, maybe 45
years ago, I did manage to crasha motorcycle at speeds that
were in excess of 65.
And it's not an experience Iwant to repeat and I would not
(04:04):
recommend that anybody else, tryme if you don't believe me.
At number six we have Colorado,rocky Mountain, high and High
Weirdness.
Is it illegal to wear skiswhile driving a car or to drive
a black car in Denver on Sundays?
Believe it or not, it's theblack car on Sundays.
It's an old one, likely fromhorse-drawn carriage days.
(04:27):
And now we're on to Connecticut, where they're serious about
safety.
Is it illegal to juggle whiledriving a tractor or to hunt
from a vehicle on a highway?
The actual law is about hunting.
Makes sense, right?
I can just picture thosehunters in the early days
driving in their brand new motorcarriages Not pretty.
(04:50):
Delaware is next on our listwhere, apparently, public
decency matters.
Can you change your clothes inyour car at a red light?
Or wear pajamas while driving ahorse-drawn carriage?
Or wear pajamas while driving ahorse-drawn carriage?
The truth is, changing in yourcar is a no-go.
No impromptu fashion shows.
(05:11):
Were there very many complaints, though?
I have to tell you this storyYears ago we used to live in
Riverside County and I worked inOrange County, and to show you
how long ago it was, it was a55-mile drive that took 55
minutes, and I would drive therein the morning, and one morning
I noticed there was a, and toshow you how long ago it was, it
was a 55 mile drive that took55 minutes, and I would drive
there in the morning.
And one morning I noticed therewas a pack of about six or
seven cars passing, everybody onthe right-hand side, and it
(05:34):
looked like they had a car boxedin.
Well, it turns out that therewas a young lady who I thought
she got a late start, butbecause she did this more than
one day, that's not the case.
Anyway, what she was doing isshe was wearing what looked like
a baby doll type nightie andshe was getting dressed while
driving on the car at 65 milesan hour.
(05:55):
And she had quite the audience,quite the crowd, quite the
attraction.
I don't know whatever happened,but I sure didn't miss her or
the chaos she brought.
And now we're on to Florida.
Florida, I don't know what tosay, but it's always unique.
Do you have to pay for parkingif you tie an elephant to a
meter?
Or is it illegal to wear a fullsuit of armor while riding your
(06:17):
bike?
You gotta pay for that elephant.
Imagine the meeting that led tothat law.
I wonder if it was a travelingcircus issue.
Apparently, in Georgia they liketheir playground safe.
Is it illegal to wear a hatwhile driving a mule cart in the
park or to drive through aplayground?
It's the playground.
(06:37):
I wonder if somebody actuallytried this.
Aloha Hawaii, where pickups areking.
Aloha Hawaii, where pickups areking.
Is it illegal to transportpineapples in a convertible
trunk or to have passengers in apickup bed?
The actual law is about thosepassengers.
Remember safety first.
(06:58):
And here comes Idaho, at number12, where they're strict about
Sundays.
Can you ride a merry-go-roundon Sundays or wear a chicken
suit while driving a tractor?
The truth is no merry-go-roundson Sunday.
Blue laws, you know.
Now we come to the land ofLincoln, and I don't mean
Lincoln, the car, illinois.
(07:19):
They don't like mobile dressingrooms.
Is it illegal to wear a clownnose while driving a semi or to
change clothes while driving?
It's the changing clothes.
Again.
Was the car's invention aproblem?
I guess all I can add is if youknow, you know.
Moving on to Indiana, wherethey're picky about cargo, is it
(07:42):
illegal to drive a car with afull load of hay on the highway
or to wear a mustache thatcauses laughter while driving?
The actual law is about thathay.
Rural to urban transitions.
You know Number 15 will stay inthe Corn Belt, iowa.
They've got some practicalconcerns.
Is it a no-no to drive atractor on the highway without
(08:03):
flushing lights, or is it afashion faux pas to wear a mask
while driving a horse-drawncarriage?
The actual law is about thoseflashing lights.
Makes sense, right.
Safety first always, especiallywhen you're moving slow on a
fast road, you get thesetractors and cars mixing and you
(08:25):
need to make sure that everyonesees everyone.
In Kansas they do not like deadpoultry on the streets.
No-transcript Turns out it'sthe poultry.
Public health.
You know this one may seemsilly but it really is a
practical health problem Withthe recent spread of the bird
(08:48):
flu.
Can you imagine if a sick birdspread their feathers all over
the countryside?
Number 17, we have Kentucky, thehome of a famous horse race,
but Kentucky is also wherefishing is serious.
Horse race, but Kentucky isalso where fishing is serious.
Can you fish from a movingvehicle on the highway or drive
(09:10):
a car with a horse in the back?
The truth is no fishing from amoving car distracted driving in
its weirdest form.
Besides, I don't know too manyfishes that can swim as fast as
a moving car.
Moving on to Louisiana, wherethey're in the United States by
name only, I think, can you honkyour horn at an alligator or
wear a mask while driving in aMardi Gras parade?
(09:32):
No, honking at alligators,they're sensitive creatures, you
know.
Moving northeast to Maine,where parking is precious, can
you park in front of a Dunkin'Donuts or wear a lobster bid
while driving a convertible?
The answer is no.
Parking in front of Dunkin'sMust have been a long line issue
(09:54):
out on the streets.
Number 20, we have Maryland, thehome of crab cakes, where they
like their roads civil.
Can you swear while driving ona highway or transport a lion to
the movies?
No, swearing, road rage control, you know.
Staying on the East Coast, wecome to Massachusetts, where
(10:15):
birds are backseat drivers.
Can you drive with a goose inthe front seat or a gorilla in
the back seat?
It's the goose Distracting,they say.
We're off to number 22, michigan, where fish have rules.
(10:36):
Can you drive with an opencontainer of fish or a pile of
skunks in the trunk?
No, open fish Smells, you know.
And Minnesota has one of theweirdest laws of all.
Can you drive a red car on LakeStreet or a car with a live
duck on your head.
No red cars on Lake Street Veryspecific.
I would really like to know moreabout the background of this
(10:57):
one.
At number 24, mississippi mightbe closer to Alabama than just
geography.
Can you honk at a chicken ordrive blindfolded?
No, honking at chickens.
They're sensitive creatures,you know.
I do remember as a youngsterbeing on my grandparents' farm
(11:18):
and we would help collect theeggs and my grandmother was
always very adamant and wasquite stern in telling us do not
chase the chickens, it couldhurt them when they're trying to
lay eggs and kill them.
And we had chicken dinner morethan once from chickens that
well, they didn't want to stickaround and be picked up.
Oh, and we weren't reallychasing them, we were just
(11:40):
following them closely quickly.
Number 25, missouri.
Can you drive with bears in thecar or an open beer?
Even though there's just oneletter difference between beer
and bear, the answer is no bears, and that's with an A, not an E
.
All right, there, you've gotthe first 25.
(12:03):
I wanted to give you a quickbreak and share a story with you
.
When I was a child, it was agreat thrill to be able to call
my grandparents on the phone,and we would have to wait until
Sunday evenings after 5, whenthe rates were the lowest, and
it was just a thrill to heartheir voice and tell them what
was going on.
Well, nowadays kids have gotcell phones and they can call
anytime they want, and it's notjust audio calls, it's video
(12:26):
calls.
One morning I got a video callfrom my granddaughter, hallie,
who is six years old, and shewas sharing me her latest
tumbling and gymnastic stunts,which in my case involves
staring at a phone that wasspinning wildly out of control.
And finally she put the phonedown and she says okay, grandpa,
guess where the phone is.
Well, I had seen enough scenesto know that it was the basement
(12:49):
.
So I said I'm in the basement.
She says yep, and she saysguess again.
And she covered the lens andput the phone somewhere, took
her finger off and said guesswhere you are now?
And I could see some blinds andI could see the outline of a
basement window.
And I said I'm in thewindowsill of the basement.
She says yep, that's prettygood.
(13:11):
She says now, guess where youare.
And the next thing I know she'sgot her thumb on the lens and I
can hear her running up thestairs.
I can hear a door open, I canhear the phone being put down
and the door closed and she saysnow guess where you are.
Well, I figured the only placeshe could really go because I
know the layout of their houseand that was as dark as it was
(13:32):
is the pantry.
So I said pantry.
She says grandpa.
How did you know?
And of course my answer wasbecause grandpa is him.
Let's get back to our list andwe'll pick up with number 26.
Montana, can you drive atractor in full armor or do
sheep need a sheep herder whenthey're in a truck?
(13:53):
Sheep need a herder.
Old west problems.
I guess number 27 is anotherone that has me scratching my
head.
Nebraska they like theirmountain roads orderly.
Can you drive a car whilewearing a corn husk suit or must
you drive to the right onmountain roads?
Driving to the right mountainetiquette?
(14:15):
I just want to know where inNebraska they found a mountain
to test this on.
Let's head out west to Nevada,where they've never seen a left
lane on the highway that theydidn't like to camp in.
Can you drive a slot machine onwheels or ride a camel on a
highway?
No, camels on the highway Mustbe a Vegas problem.
(14:38):
New Hampshire, where apparentlyhay is a hazard.
Can you drive a fishing boat onthe highway or with hay in the
road?
No, hay in the road, ruralroadblocks, they say.
Moving down the turnpike a bit,we come to New Jersey, the land
of strong opinions.
(14:58):
Can you get in trouble forfrowning at a cop or for wearing
a full tomato sauce suit whiledelivering pizzas?
Turns out, it's that frownthat'll get you Respect the
badge, even with your face.
You know, jersey's always beena place where they like to keep
things orderly.
Forget about it.
At number 31, we have the Landof Enchantment, new Mexico.
(15:21):
Can you drive a lowrider in achili pepper suit or with untied
shoes?
Untied shoes are a no-go.
You may need to consider VelcroIn the Big Apple, new York.
Can you drive a taxi in aBroadway costume or in slippers?
No, slippers.
(15:44):
Comfort versus safety, you know.
Next up we have number 33, northCarolina, which will be a
subject of a question at the endof the entire list.
So pay attention.
Can you play chicken with atrain or drive a tractor in a
tobacco leaf suit?
The answer is no.
(16:04):
Plain chicken with trains.
Obvious right Makes you wonderwhat happened that made them
have to codify that In NorthDakota, where I'm not sure that
there's enough people there torequire these laws, they do have
one.
Can you drive a combine in acornstalk suit or a wagon while
drunk?
It turns out that no drunkwagon driving is permitted.
(16:26):
Old habits die hard, I guess.
On to Ohio.
Is it legal to run out of gasin Youngstown?
Or to drive a golf cart in afootball helmet?
Well, it turns out that runningout of gas in Youngstown is
illegal.
Plan ahead, people.
At number 36, we have Oklahoma,where the Never mind.
(16:50):
Can you read a comic whiledriving or drive a covered wagon
in a cowboy hat?
Yee-haw, no reading comics.
Eyes on the road.
How about Oregon?
Must you yield to pedestrianson the sidewalk or drive a
chainsaw on wheels?
(17:10):
Yield to pedestrians.
Common sense, people, commonsense.
And traveling down this highwayof mirth, we come to the
off-ramp for Pennsylvania.
Can you drive without a horn ora steam car in an Amish hat?
Can you drive without a horn ora steam car in an Amish hat?
It turns out, no drivingwithout a horn.
Again, safety first.
(17:33):
Exit number 39 is Rhode Island.
Can you transport open liquoror drive a duck boat in a sailor
suit?
No, open liquor.
Keep it sealed, out of sight,out of mind, out of reach,
especially out of reach, please.
Number 40, south Carolina, wheredistracted driving must be a
(17:55):
problem.
Can you drive a wagon on MainStreet on Thursday or can you
drive a wagon while eating asandwich?
No wagons on Main StreetThursday, traffic flow.
You know this one is a littlebit tricky.
South Dakota Can you drive atractor downtown during rush
hour or a covered wagon on theinterstate while wearing a full
(18:18):
buffalo costume?
The answer is no tractorsdowntown during rush hour.
The answer is no tractorsdowntown during rush hour.
I'm not sure where you'reeither going to find a buffalo
suit on the interstate with acovered wagon or there's going
to be a downtown rush houranywhere in South Dakota.
But it's the law.
(18:38):
At number 42, we have Tennessee,where apparently both whales
and elephants are protected.
Can you shoot a whale from amoving vehicle or drive a
monster truck in an elvishjumpsuit?
No shooting whales.
(18:59):
Landlocked state, but still why?
We're on to Texas, whichoriginated the phrase here.
Hold my beer.
Can you drive without wipers ora horse-drawn carriage through
a Whataburger drive-thru?
There is no driving withoutwipers.
Safety first, y'all.
Moving on to Zion, aka Utah,can you make a U-turn in a
(19:21):
school zone during recess ordrive a camel on a highway?
No U-turns in school zonesduring recess.
Kids safety first.
We're up to number 45, vermont,the peaceful state.
Is it against the law to drivea car while dressed as a moose
(19:41):
or to drive a car on a dirt road?
The truth is it's the dirtroads you gotta watch out for.
They're trying to keep thoseroads in good shape and regular
cars well, they just don't help.
It's a rural thing, you know.
At 46, we have Virginia, and itkind of makes you want to say
isn't that a blaring glimpse ofthe obvious?
(20:03):
Can you drive withoutheadlights after sunset or honk
at a skunk?
The answer, obviously, is nodriving without headlights,
nighttime safety.
Next, at number 47, we haveWashington, the state, not the
district.
Can you drive with a visible TVscreen or a monster truck
(20:23):
through Pike Place Market?
The answer is no, visible TVscreens.
They're a modern distraction,although driving a monster truck
through Pike Place Market wouldbe kind of fun and kind of cool
, but you might get pelted bythe flying fish.
We're down to our last three, 48, virginia, where ferrets are a
(20:44):
driving hazard.
Can you drive with a ferret ora raccoon on a leash?
The answer is no driving with aferret.
They're just too curious.
Number 49, we have Wisconsin,where cows belong in the pasture
.
Can you drive with a cow in thebackseat or an open container
of cheese?
No, cows in the backseat.
(21:08):
Safety first and finally, wehave number 50, wyoming, where
wagons on interstates just donot mix.
Can you drive a horse-drawnwagon on the interstate, or a
tour bus through Yellowstonewhile wearing a full dinosaur
costume?
The answer is no wagons on theinterstate Modern highways.
(21:30):
You know, recently I saw a memeon social media that said that
there was only one state in thecountry with five syllables in
the name, and I thought that'sridiculous.
There's no way that's true,because I can name two right off
the top of my head.
So I'm going to give you aboutfive seconds or so of some
wonderful background music maybesome more of that banjo toe
(21:54):
tapping stuff and let you thinkabout it.
How many states can you namethat have five syllables in them
?
Syllables in them.
Okay, the answer is that thereare four Louisiana, north
(22:15):
Carolina and South Carolina, andthe fourth one is California.
Now wait a minute.
I live in California.
I know how many syllables ithas.
It has only four.
So I did some research andapparently some people don't
know how to pronounce it right.
It's California, not California.
(22:36):
So if you call it California,you get your fifth syllable.
I think it's all hooey.
And so, to help wrap things up,I want to share with you a story
that involves Stevie Wonder andTiger Woods.
Stevie and Tiger were in thebar one night talking about golf
and singing.
Woods turned to Wonder and sayshow was the singing career
(22:58):
going?
Stevie Wonder replies not toobad.
How's the golf?
Woods replies not too bad.
I've had some problems with myswing, but I think I've got that
fixed right now.
Stevie says I always find thatwhen my swing goes wrong, I need
to stop playing for a while andnot think about it.
Then the next time I play, itseems to be all right.
(23:18):
Tiger says you play golf?
Woods replies oh yeah, I'vebeen playing for years.
And Woods says but you're blind.
How can you play golf if you'reblind?
Wonder replies I get my caddyto stand in the middle of the
fairway and call to me.
I listen for the sound of hisvoice and I play the ball
towards him.
Then, when I get to where theball lands, the caddy moves to
(23:42):
the green or farther down thefairway and again I play the
ball towards his voice.
But how do you putt?
Asks Woods.
Well, stevie says I get mycaddy to lean down in front of
the hole and call to me with hishead on the ground and I just
play the ball towards his voice.
Woods says that's amazing.
What's your handicap?
And Stevie says well, I'm ascratch golfer.
(24:02):
Woods has a hard time believingthis and he says to Stevie
we've got to play aroundsometime.
Wonder replies well, peopledon't take me seriously, so I
only play for money and neverplay for less than $10,000 a
hole.
Woods thinking about it andsays okay, I'm game for that.
What would you like to play?
Stevie says pick a night, anynight.
(24:25):
All right, folks.
There you have it All 50 statesand a whole lot of
head-scratching moments.
I hope you've enjoyed this wildride through the world of
useless driving laws, and I wantto give a special call out to
Blake for helping edit thisedition.
He caught some mistakes in itthat would have made this a real
disaster, and he and I aregoing to be collaborating on a
(24:48):
segment all about the MidnightDonut Run.
But before we go, I want tohear from you.
Do you know of any weird oroutdated driving laws in your
area?
Send them to grandpaishimcom atgmailcom.
We may feature the best ones inan upcoming listener law
segment.
This is Len Dimmick, remindingyou to keep your wheels turning
(25:12):
and your laws well, at leastmildly sensible.
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