Snack Town's Mistress of Mayhem and the Macabre Suzanne Madron

Hanoverian Suzanne Madron is a published author and self-professed mistress of mayhem. Her books range from speculative fiction, gothic horror, hard-boiled mysteries, paranormal romance and beyond.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The following is a gratuitous gesture, advertising two books by Suzanne Magon.

(00:10):
Imagine the horror of finally arriving at your intended location, spending the day in the dark, dangerous malaise,
only to discover that your path forward and back are leading you closer and closer to a seemingly perilous end.
Destination unknown takes the main character into a forest of despair and leaves them there.

(00:36):
When Suzanne Magon asks you to take a leisurely walk in the woods, be sure to pack a four-dimensional compass,
one that not only protects you from things in the woods, but also has a supernatural timepiece
that can explain how, when, and why moving forward is a step in the wrong direction.

(00:59):
Skip the trip to the forest or jungle, find your fear, and Suzanne Magon at amazon.com.
You are entering a wondrous land beyond GPS coordinates, hidden latitudes and attitudes of the Mason-Dixon Line,
hovering over north and south, straddling logic, curiosity, mystery, and mysteries, where heart beats drum to destiny.

(01:28):
You are now entering Hanover Land.
Okay, so let's start with a roll call. Super K, Jack, Queen Tina?
Jack.
Or C.C.?
Jack.
Don't check, okay.
Jackie Mattson?
Howdy ho!
Steve-o?
Here, here.

(01:49):
All right. Susie M?
Susie M in the house?
Check.
Okay.
Mr. Ministry?
Check.
Is there a James Glass back there in the back?
Also check.
Okay. Zircon? I thought this was also Zircon earlier.
Check, check, and check.
Okay. Well, I was looking for a Suzanne Madrone.

(02:11):
Also check.
Okay. Suzanne Madrone's here.
Let's welcome Suzanne.
All house today.
All right. All right. I guess my first question is, you write under so many aliases.
I do.
Why is that? I mean, are you in witness protection or is that the...?
I can't confirm norgenyma.

(02:33):
Okay, okay. But why is that?
Some of my writing styles match the names better.
And so I go with that name.
All right.
It's a live. Nice.
Mr. Ministry?
Poetry.
Walt Niquel dosing.

(02:55):
All right. All right.
May we divulge your real...
Your given name or...
I understand. It's not.
Okay, cool. All right.
We...
If you know me, you know me.
There you go. Fair enough. All right.

(03:16):
We invited you here today because of your creative endeavors as a prolific writer who actually gets published.
You're actually publishing books and it's amazing.
And you live right here in the universe.
Right on the other side of the hill.
I can't believe it either.
Who'd have thought?

(03:40):
How long have you been writing?
I have been writing since the 90s.
Since high school?
Yes.
What was the first book you wrote?
Nemesis in 1993.
Publish as well.
Eventually, yeah. It took about 13 years to get published.
Talk about a love.

(04:02):
So...
To those who may not know you or your writing, how would you describe what Suzanne Madrone writes right now?
Oh boy. It runs the gamut.
Everything...
The speculative fiction would be the closest umbrella term for it.
Everything from gothic horror to horror to Lovecraftian to comedic horror to straight up comedy and hardboiled noir mystery.

(04:33):
Wow. Hardboiled noir.
Yeah. Like Dashel Hammett kind of stuff, but funnier.
Okay.
I saw you up the Serpent's Key back in November.
And I purchased for Sailor Rent and also Destination Note and Things in the Woods.

(04:59):
And they're both very dark.
Like scary dark.
This one got recommended for an award.
For Sailor Rent? Awesome.
Yeah. It got recommended for an award.
It did make an ounce of ballot, but it got recommended, which was huge.
That's wonderful.
That was a big award.
Yes.

(05:21):
For Sailor Rent, it actually reminds me of... at some point during the summer, we were invited to your party at your place.
And as we were driving over there, and we were looking for your address, and I saw this big rundown house with like weeds everywhere.

(05:46):
And I went to pull in and I heard this groan.
It was like a groan or a humming or something.
And I'm like, what the hell was that?
So we looked at that address and I'm like, oh, that's not it.
And we turned around and look, ah, this is a beautiful house.

(06:07):
But then we walked around the side and we heard this groan and I was thinking, what could that be?
And it just turned out to be Ty trying to get the last few drops out of the grower.
That's it.
That's it.
That's right.
That's right.
So tell us about the party.
Well, Ty fought the bounce house-ish, but didn't really... didn't go as far as it usually does.

(06:35):
Usually he fights the bounce house and loses.
Well, I hope I get to see that next year.
So your inspirations as a writer, who would you get?
Other writers, you mean?
Or just where I find my inspirations from?

(06:57):
Well, start with the writers and then we can go to...
Well, of course, Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, Ray Bradbury, Dashel Hammett, and Radcliffe.
Poppy Z Bright, Neil Gaiman.
So, I mean, there's a lot.

(07:19):
And then most recently, actually friends of mine, Paula Ash and D. Alexander Ward,
Rat James White.
Well, you definitely read a lot.
I do.
Way more than I'm sure.
Inspiration of Real Town?
Yes.
I was lost, but I'm back.

(07:41):
So I was reading on either the back or the inner jacket about your trip to, I guess, Project Seven,
near Cadorus when the water was really low.
Yes, the Drownedown.
So that was your inspiration for... was that...

(08:02):
That?
Destination or not?
It was part of it, yes.
So, destination known in Things in the Woods, I love watching those urban exploration videos
where they're just, like, wandering around, like, really broken down places that are all overgrown.
And I grew up on a place that was kind of like that.

(08:23):
So we had a lot of buildings that were no longer used on the land.
And we were free-range children.
We were feral.
As Gen X is.
And so when left to our own devices, we went into various abandoned buildings and explored them.
And we had a lot of abandoned camps, just random buildings everywhere.

(08:45):
I don't even know what they were for anymore.
But that was always, like, a really huge thing.
The watershed was actually inspired by a cistern on our property where we were never allowed to go
because this thing was terrifying.
And if you dropped in, who knows where you'd go.
Oh, yeah.
True.
So...
Did you ever drop stuff in it?

(09:06):
We did.
Oh, yeah.
There was, like, the roof had fallen in and there was, like, fur in it.
And I'm like, what is in there?
And why is it white water?
Yeah, it was terrifying.
So the watershed is probably creepier than for sailor rent.
The watershed also got recommended for the same big award pallet.
Just a year later.

(09:29):
And so I kind of go walking around looking at things, destination unknown and things in the woods.
There are some buildings on my ride to work that are very rundown and very abandoned looking.
And I thought, wouldn't it be really cool if there was, like, a train trestle that went over, like, the Susquehanna.
And it went to this town that doesn't exist anymore, like, kind of toad road-y.

(09:52):
And, you know, where it's just this mystery and you don't know what's what.
And so the first part of the story is the hiker who ends up getting caught in Stratton, Pennsylvania.
And the second half of it is the urban explorer who goes and discovers the town again.
So...
Yeah, I really liked that.

(10:13):
It was fun.
The print version proved some challenges because I wanted to make a print version that had the one story this way
and then the other story this way, like the old comic books that had the two comic books on them.
Where it was, like, flipped.
And then they'd meet in the middle.
And I wanted to do that.

(10:34):
And Amazon would not let me format it that way.
It, like, really did not like that.
It was their mindset.
It did.
And I was just like, why would you want to print a book like a comic book?
And it's like, well, because I love comic books, too.
So I think I'll probably eventually do a very limited edition where I just hire a print shop to do it.

(10:56):
And then sell it that way.
Is that a no-no with book publishers or something?
I mean, it seems like it's simple.
I have some really crazy ideas for my books and, like, how to package them and all that and publishers are like, yeah, but that takes too much.
And I'm like, but I would, that's why I don't do it.

(11:17):
What the hell?
I mean, I've printed enough things to know that you could, I mean, the pagination and the forming up of it wouldn't be a problem.
Exactly.
And even Microsoft Word was kind of like, you want to do what now?
So like for Kindle's, you mean?
Well, for Kindle, I wouldn't have the same edition for it.
I always make separate files.

(11:40):
So the print file is different than the Kindle file.
That would have to be just a straight, the way it is now for Kindle.
It wouldn't be able to flip.
They wouldn't get to a page and all of a sudden it's upside down.
Right.
You wouldn't have to, like, turn your Kindle.
And it would want to fly back and correct itself.
That would drive people crazy.
Really wouldn't it?
Kindle fire and they flipped it and it just kept flipping back.

(12:05):
Are you trying to read and it's flipping?
Maybe I need to just try this.
Maybe I have to lay it down and sneak up on it.
Yeah, exactly.
I've done that with my phone.
I'm like, we're going to get you.
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(12:34):
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(13:01):
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(13:24):
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And now back to the show.
We've gone off the rails.

(13:47):
That's the idea.
This podcast is off the rails.
We went off the trestle into Stratton.
We are in Stratton.
We're Stratton.
Is Hanover, can we find Hanover?
Oh yes.
You can find Hanover in for sale or rent.
I'm currently writing a story called The House in the Circle in the Square and it is set in Diggs Choice, which is Hanover, except it's got a circle instead of a square.

(14:20):
Fascinating.
The interview right before this one, we talked about the circle.
Unbelievable.
Yup.
And in my new book.
Is there an iron mic in the middle of the circle?
There is not.
There is a circle though.
And there is a large Victorian house in the middle of it.

(14:41):
Right in the middle of the circle.
Right in the middle of the circle.
That is a rental house.
And the main character lives in that house.
I love it.
All of her coworkers are like, man, where do you live again?
And so when she hangs out with them, they're like, when do we get to see your apartment?
She's like, oh you know, sometime and then something happens and she never gets to bring them to the apartment.

(15:02):
And the real estate agent is the same real estate agent from Fursale or Rent and from the Wattershed.
So it all kind of ties in.
There's a lot of Easter eggs in my stuff.
Awesome.
He was kind of creepy.
Oh yeah.
He gets even creepier.
Awesome.
Now you're from New York originally.
Yes.
And have you lived in other places?

(15:24):
Oh yes.
Lots of places.
Can you give us a litany or a little sample, please?
Oh wow.
I've lived in Florida.
I've lived in New Jersey.
New Jersey was my favorite.
Jersey City, New Jersey was my absolute favorite place to live.
I love this.
Did you live next to the Fritz and Actors old house?
I did not.
I did live next door to John.

(15:46):
What is it?
John?
No.
The three stooge.
Larry?
The really curly hair.
Larry Fine.
Larry Fine.
Yeah.
I was born in the first place in Philly on South Street.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
You've lived in these very fascinating places.

(16:07):
Hanover.
Hanover is, you know, if we had a holiday, if we had to pick one on a holiday, it would
probably be Halloween.
We love Halloween.
And maybe it's just me because I was born here, but it resonates as kind of a haunted
house.

(16:28):
Oh yeah.
And since you've been in our introduction at Hanover Land, do you feel that?
Absolutely.
You're an objective third party.
Yes.
When we first, when I first moved in.
Whatever your name is because we're not allowed to disclose it.
It's Susie.
You can just call me Susie.
My actual name is Susie.
The last name is different though.
But yeah, when I first moved here, there was, there was some weird shenanigans that would

(16:53):
go on with the house that we were renovating.
And finally I was just like, dude, we love your house.
We're trying to fix it up, you know, cut it out with a shadow man shit.
Oh wow.
And all of a sudden it was like, oh, okay.
And it was fine.
It was one of the original owners of our house.
I wanted to apologize for that.

(17:15):
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
He was fine to have you.
Matt wants us all.
I'm sorry Jackie.
I'm sorry.
I'm not a real human being.
I'm a ghost of what I used to be.

(17:38):
You're the ghost of propriety.
I'm a ghost of what I used to be.
I'm a ghost of what I used to be.
I'm going to Victorian houses and scope for manal pieces and other accoutrements.
Oh yeah.
I keep you behind that.

(18:01):
So, I was just going to say that.
Where do you use to come into Ray Deliccacabinet?
It's funny when we moved into our house, there was a cupboard in the kitchen, right going
into the kitchen.
Every once in a while this bottle of liquor would just appear on the floor.

(18:24):
And I'm like, and there were old bottles of liquor, like the old airplane bottles.
And I was just like, where are these things coming from?
And I thought time was messing with me.
They're the ones that Matt couldn't carry out.
I mean, I would have asked for that too.

(18:46):
It was all little Jack Daniels and I love Jack Daniels.
And it was just these little old bottles of Jack Daniels.
I was like, where are these things coming from?
But they just showed up.
They would just show up on a score.
And we finally figured it out.
There was a lip on the inside of the door for the frame and there were little airplane

(19:08):
bottles all along the top, like a little liquor cabinet.
It was somebody's stash from God knows what.
Well, that's because when I was alive, my wife wouldn't allow me to drink in the parlor.
Oh my, I think whoever lived there had a secret.
Wow, I mean, I guess they would stash away.

(19:32):
I mean, they were old bottles, so they hadn't been drinking them.
But yeah, I mean, they were probably from like the 60s, maybe 50s.
Holy cow.
Yeah, they were the original glass bottles that you get on airplanes.
I was just like, this is so cool.
And I was like, do we drink it?
Mystery liquor, do we drink it?

(19:53):
There was a question.
Of course we did.
It's liquor from the ghosts.
I mean, and it started right after I told the shadow guy, you know, we're fixing up your house because we love it so much.
And then all of a sudden we started getting liquor.
I was like, thank you.

(20:14):
And I was like, sweet.
Peacefully coexisting with the dead?
I think he hated the orange that was in our house too.
Everything was orange.
There was the real horror.
Yes.
There you go.
Did it clash with the Jack Daniels bottles?
Clash with everything.
Burnt orange carpeting.
It was about that thick.

(20:35):
It was all a braided carpet.
So is this the house you live in now?
Yes.
We have been renovating it for many, many years.
I understand that process.
It's an awesome house, by the way.
We've done a lot of work.
Now the attic is completely set up as a guest suite too.

(21:00):
Oh wow.
Yeah.
So that's fun.
So every time my son has to sleep over, they get to go hang out in the attic and play video games and give us a moment.
That's every young man's dream, one boy's dream to have an attic space.
I mean, personally me.
Oh right.

(21:21):
It's great braids.
Yeah, great.
Now, I understand that you have an affection for a house panther.
I do.
Make you rest in peace.
He was a 13 year old, 30 pound cat that I adopted from a shelter.

(21:44):
And he was huge.
I can show you pictures of him.
What's his name, Shatterman?
No, his name was Mr. Pants.
It was Mr. Pham.
He was adorable.
And of course now, what kind of cat?
He was, I have no idea.
He was just like there, there.

(22:06):
That's what I was thinking.
That's why I asked.
He wasn't.
That was the weird part.
Did he come with us?
No, he didn't.
He just served him one day.
I can't.
He's bottle wrapped.
My God.
He was calling.
That would have been absolutely amazing.

(22:30):
I can't find my favorite photos.
What was the breed, Steve?
How do you spell that?
I don't know.
KUHN, if you had the brand name.
That's right.
I've never spelled KUHN.
Those things can be as big as people.
They're huge.
You have to look it up.

(22:52):
They're like part like, you know,
they're as close to Pharaoh as you get.
There's a 30 pound cat.
That was my cat.
Good Lord.
Oh, you count.
It looks like a bear.
Did Mr. Pants wear pants?
He actually did like to dress up in a Dracula video.

(23:15):
Did he have the cape?
He did.
He had the cape and everything.
When I tried to get it off of him, he was like, no.
He would have no part of it.
He loved getting dressed up for like Mardi Gras.
He'd have Mardi Gras beads and just like transfer on the head.
How did you come to have this cat?
Or did it find you?
Kind of both.

(23:36):
I went to a shelter in Philly and he was little when I got him.
He was only eight pounds.
I figured he was dumb growing.
Wait a second.
What did you make at your house?
What did you have to prepare?
What's happening?
I mean, you're from New York, so...
I mean, you know...

(23:57):
What kind of culinary device did you give Mr. Pants?
I gave him Big Zee Dee.
Of course.
Of course.
Mr. Pants had a carbohydrate problem.
He did.
He loved his kibble.
Did he wear a cape while he ate at the sushi?
He did not.
He just wore the cape the one day.
After that, I was like, you have gotten addicted to this cape.

(24:20):
And he was not wearing it again.
And he was like...
And he walked away and he wouldn't talk to me for like a day.
We were getting into fights and he wouldn't talk to me for like a day.
He wouldn't talk to you?
Well, he was a very talkative cat.
He told me about his day and...
He was a mumboid to a cat.

(24:41):
He was very weird.
He was a skin walker.
Yes, I'm friendly as a skin walker ever.
I feel like I know him.
He was a snuggle mum.
God bless you, Mr. Pants.
I miss you.
I'll pass you the food, Craig.

(25:02):
Actually, his favorite thing was hogging down his ice cream.
Of course, he's hogging it.
He was. He was very high maintenance.
Where is he now?
He's gone. He had cancer.
Is he buried?
No, I have him in a box in my office.
Of course.
Getting in a box.
Yeah.
Cat in a box?
Cat in a box.
It was kind of weird because when they gave me his ashes,

(25:25):
the box is only about two feet.
The ashes, the box is only about that big.
And I was like, how did they fit in?
It's the worst of the rest of them.
Is there a second box?
This is like this campy.
Well, I guess cats are like 90% zee-dee.
Yeah.
I mean...
It brings off.
They're hollow. Zee-dee's hollow.

(25:46):
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're decarbonized.
He's clinging to the outer edges of the box.
Exactly.
Sorry, you don't have to make a glide of your...
I have gallows humor.
You're a long spear.
Okay, it's...
Speaking of gallows humor,

(26:07):
I asked you if you wanted to do a reading.
Sure.
What have you got for us today?
I have a story that has not been published.
And we are...
It is a horror comedy called Descending Grading Norman.
Okay.
Quiet on the set.
Okay.
Ready?
Are you ready for this?

(26:29):
Everything is not pickle.
It was a term he'd used since he was younger,
and it meant shit was going sideways.
He was right, of course.
No Norman, I thought.
Everything was not pickle,
and hadn't been for a very long time.
I could hear him move behind me,
the sound subtle,
and no more than a rustle of stained bedsheets.
I closed my eyes,
so I wouldn't have to see him as I stood up for my desk.

(26:50):
Living with Norman had always been a challenge,
but now it was exhausting.
I hadn't slept since he took over my bed.
Where are you going?
The size gave me before I could stop it,
and I hoped Norman hadn't heard it.
I was wrong.
Apparently his ears still work just fine,
even while the rest of him cluttered the floor
of my small living space.
Sometimes I think he drops pieces of himself
wherever he goes, just despite me.

(27:11):
And to let me know he can still move around just fine,
even without feet.
Nowhere, Norman.
Behind me I could hear his head nod.
The crackle of his neck as it moved
sent a shudder of disgust through me.
I wondered how long it would be
until his whole damn head fell off his shoulders.
That's right, nowhere.
Not until everything is pickle again.
Where's my middle finger?

(27:32):
I want to flip you off.
It was the little things that really got under my skin.
All day, every day,
Norman picked at my nerves until he found that one
that hit just right, and my patience fled.
I didn't mean to face him.
I sure as hell didn't mean to look him straight
in his ugly face,
spouting his uglier words, but I did.
In that flash of anger,
my intent had been to throttle him

(27:53):
until he at least stopped talking.
He never stopped talking.
And the click of his jaw drove me batshit.
Whatever my response to him was going to be,
it died on my lips and dropped to the floor
to disperse among the pieces of Norman.
My own jaw clicked as my mouth moved
and no witty retort came out.
I hadn't looked at Norman for a while.
He didn't like it when someone looked at him
since he'd started to deteriorate.

(28:15):
I helped him stay together as much as possible,
but there's only so much you can do
when everything was not pickle
and nothing was ever going to be pickle.
Mortality stared me in the face with gaping eyes.
He must have lost his eyelids on his last walkabout.
I hadn't noticed.
In addition to the comically wide eyes,
he had an almost surprised look
that took me far too long to realize his eyebrows

(28:37):
are missing.
When did he lost his eyebrows?
Had he ever had eyebrows?
I honestly couldn't remember.
His teeth clacked as he laughed at me
and held up a hand missing a middle finger.
His hair was gone too.
Was it in one piece like a toupee
waiting to attack from the shadows of the underbed?
Was it clumped in portions around the room
he never left?
Or had his hair fallen out strand by rotting strand

(28:59):
to gather in migrating dust bunnies in the corners?
Norman's shirt and pants had holes in them, I noticed.
Had their ass gotten in?
Were mice using it for nesting material?
I shuddered at the thought that while we were blissfully unaware,
while we were busy worrying about how everything was not pickle,
we were being systematically dismantled by rodents.
I stared into those unblinking eyes
and all the fight went out of me.

(29:21):
It was far too late to pretend anything would be fine again,
that everything would someday be pickle.
Damn you, Norman.
I muttered and picked up his missing middle finger from the floor.
If he would stay in one damn place,
I wouldn't have to keep putting you back together.
In a morbid trick of the light,
his lipless mouth sneered at me.
Once more, he lifted his hand with the missing middle finger.

(29:42):
I took out the hot glue gun and plugged it in.
I made sure to leave it on the desk,
or Norman would be sure to see it and think about it.
He usually asked questions and argued when the glue gun came out,
but not tonight.
Instead, he sat quietly,
propped against the corner where the walls met the bed.
Somehow his silence was worse than his incessant talking.
The scent of the heated glue filled the room

(30:03):
and I pulled his hand toward the desk.
He squirmed, he swore, and finally he bit.
Stop it, Norman, or I'll hot glue your mouth shut.
I kept my voice calm and held the glue gun up to his face for emphasis.
I really wanted to just do it.
To fill that clacking space between those obnoxiously large,
straight teeth until they couldn't open,
the silence and lack of biting would be worth the months

(30:24):
of angry screaming and weeping until the glue broke down again.
He could tell that was serious.
He stopped biting me and held his hand still
so I could reattach the missing digit.
As soon as the glue cooled, he flexed his hand and grinned
and raised his middle finger at me.
I shook my head and held the glue gun up to his face again.
I could just drown you in hot glue, Norman.
Would you like that? No. Then cut your shit.

(30:47):
It would be so easy to dismember him and shove all his parts
into a suitcase, I thought.
I could bring the suitcase to the airport and check the bag,
then just walk away.
I could put him in a packing crate and mail him to an address
that didn't exist and smudge the return address enough
they would never find me.
I'd be free of them. He'd be free of me.
We hated each other enough to stay together, though.
Crammed in my tiny studio.

(31:09):
Who else would put him back together when he fell apart?
It was getting old.
Every day started with an argument, every night ended with me
wanting to stub a pillow over Norman's face
until he went quiet and still.
I'm sure he felt the same way toward me.
He just wasn't as agile.
PIGGLE!
Shriek jolted me ahead of my murderous reverie.

(31:30):
What do you want now?
I have made a decision.
Oh, about what exactly?
I need a new face.
We all need new faces, Norman. Be more specific.
I need his heart or show grin and side-long glance of sly.
Nor face.
That isn't going to happen, Norman.
It will, as teeth clack as he spoke.

(31:53):
You haven't slept for a long time.
You need to sleep sometime.
No, I don't, and neither do you.
Not technically speaking. You know this.
The girl started deep in his innards
and erupted in a head-splitting shriek.
I put my hands under my ears and ignored him as best I could.
There were no windows in our space, and he was right.
I hadn't slept in a long time.
It was hard to tell how long a day was

(32:15):
when you couldn't sit in the sun or the moon.
Days, weeks, who knew?
Did it really matter?
The point was, when we didn't need to sleep,
we did anyway.
Oh, habits died hard.
I leaned my cheek against my hand and closed my eyes.
A stealthy rustle of movement behind me
startled me back to alertness.
I kept my eyes closed, my breath steady,

(32:37):
waiting to see what Norman might try to do to me.
I felt his fingers cold and stiff against my face
as he dug his nails into me at the hairline.
Faster than he could pull away, I grabbed him
and yanked off the offending fingers.
They came away with an awful ripping noise,
and I threw them onto the floor.
Norman screamed and flailed backward when I let him go.

(32:58):
He crab-walked across the floor and scuttled under the bed.
Moments later, his good hand reached beneath the duvet
and grabbed his detached digits.
Everything is not pickle!
He whimpered from the shadows, and I felt my stomach churned.
How long would he stay under there this time?
I couldn't use my bed most days
because Norman had claimed it long ago as his own,
but when he was under there,

(33:19):
I was even less inclined to try to use it.
The thought of him reaching up to grab me from the shadows
made it impossible to relax.
We can't go on like this.
All I meant in that simple phrase was, I couldn't go on like this.
I brought my chin in my hands and fought to stay awake
until, annoyed, I realized the futility of it.
Instead, I stood and gathered the heaviest things I could find

(33:40):
and wedged them in the space beneath the bed.
I could hear Norman under there, too afraid to come out,
or perhaps not willing to give up his vantage point.
I couldn't go under the bed after him
without making myself vulnerable,
and he couldn't come out without doing the same to himself.
It was a familiar stalemate.
I kicked larger pieces of Norman out of the way
as I dragged more boxes to block the exits of the underbed.
His foot, still on his shoe,

(34:02):
tried to trip me as I moved past,
and I pushed it away with the toe of my boot.
What are you doing?
Norman asked from his hiding place.
His voice was muffled beneath the mattress.
You mean, what are we doing?
Fine, what are we doing?
We're playing a game.
What game?
I don't like it.
You don't like anything, Norman.
I told him cheerfully as I slid another box into place.

(34:24):
His scuttling was more and more muffled,
more and more limited in its area,
and I smiled in relief.
What game is this, he demanded.
I smiled and slid the last box closer.
From the shadows under my bed,
I could see the light reflected in Norman's angry stare.
The game is called The Cask of a Mondeado,
I said, and slid the last box into place,
forcing it in tight.

(34:46):
Behind the wall of heavy, stuck boxes,
Norman raged.
I hopped onto the bed with my full weight
and laughed with satisfaction
when I heard his face hit the floor.
Why had I never thought to wall him in before this?
It was such a ridiculously simple solution.
It didn't matter.
My eyes were already closing.
When I woke up, Norman was leaning over me.
I don't like Cask of a Mondeado, he told me,

(35:09):
but his lips moved oddly and out of sync with the words.
When Norman got lips and eyelids,
how did you get out, I asked,
but the words felt strange coming out
like they didn't form right in my mouth.
Why couldn't I talk?
You jumped on the bed.
That was stupid.
He grinned, but it was a loose expression.
You're so stupid.

(35:31):
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He jumped onto my torso and forced the air out of me.
Just like that.
When you jumped, it was enough to loosen one of the boxes.
I tried to breathe to focus my eyes,
but his lips distracted me too much.
And then I knew why he was more nightmare than usual.
He was wearing my face.
More than just my face,
he had attached other parts of me

(35:52):
to replace the broken parts of him.
Now pieces of me littered the floor,
cast off from my vivid section.
Everything is finally pickle.
It's water.
Wow.
Apologies for the swear words.
I've got a potty mouth.
Oh, well, that's a...
No worries, that was awesome.

(36:15):
The kids shouldn't be listening to that anyway.
So how far along are you with this endeavor?
This story is a short story, so it's finished.
I just have to put it together.
I have a bunch of short stories.
So look for more collections and things like that in 2025.

(36:37):
House in the Circle in the Square should be released in 25, along with...
I've also got a romance novel that I've probably picked
called Roses in Winter.
I'll see when that comes out.
I don't know yet.
I don't feel comfortable with it.
I was going to say, it sounds a bit out of character for you.

(37:01):
It's very out of character.
I don't like it.
Now who?
It's Iki.
It's got cooties.
Who would be writing that?
Is that a Suzanne Madroma?
Yeah, I mean, it sounds...
Suzanne Madron sounds like she'd, you know...
Madron.
Imagine Madron doesn't matter.

(37:22):
It's not my real name anyway.
You say it.
You say it however you want.
Yeah, I mean, it sounds like she'd write something like that.
She's a flake.
Well, you can...
Yeah, you can color anything you want.
I know.

(37:43):
She's yours.
I know her.
Personally.
So, I guess my question is, where do these stories come from?
I mean...
Sometimes dreams for Sailor and Brent, it actually came from the house

(38:04):
across the street, literally, because that house, it was for Sail
for a really long time.
And every time somebody would, you know, go for like six months or so,
and then for Sailor and Brent would go on the sign.
And it ended up, every time people moved in, they'd move out like a few months later,

(38:25):
or a year later.
And if they were a family, they stayed longer.
But if they weren't a family, within six months they were gone.
And I was like, clearly the house wants a family.
And now a family has moved in and they love it, and they've been there for years.
Interesting.
But in the meantime, I was like, hmm, what if it's haunted?

(38:47):
Right.
I really loved that story.
That was a great story.
That was a good one.
It's like, well, the books are yours and I've read.
It's like, I don't want to, there's spoilers here.

(39:08):
We're all friends here.
Things don't usually end up well for the main characters.
No.
It's a, I really got tired of all the happy endings.
I'm like, life is not meat and tidy.
It's kind of a mess.

(39:30):
And so the Immortal War series, they eventually get a happy ending, but it takes about five
books to get there.
So yeah, each ending was a little bit bittersweet.
And then it went from there.
But the short stories, sometimes they end well, sometimes it's kind of up in the air.

(39:54):
One of the complaints an editor had for one of the stories I submitted was it didn't have
a nice neat little bow.
It didn't wrap up.
And I just look, well, it's horror.
It's like, yeah.
It's like, you know, it's not going to.
It's reality, personified.

(40:16):
Well, that's where their next book comes in, I guess.
Yeah.
I am writing a new Metatron mystery too, which is the Dashel Hammett style noir.
And that one is Hanover.
That one is called Hope and Hanover, Sins of the Snack Food Capital.

(40:37):
Oh, I love it.
So look for that one in 2025 too.
It's going to be very comedic.
You will recognize all kinds of landmarks.
Yeah, the house in the circle of the square is kind of a subtle nod to Hanover in the surrounding
areas.
So people that live here will definitely recognize parts.

(40:59):
You know, like Clearwater Lake is Kadoras and the Drown Town and everything.
But obviously the Drown Town is much more dramatized in the story than it is in real life.
But Sins of the Snack Food Capital, it's very comedic.
That entire series focuses on a private detective who's human who has two sidekicks who are just

(41:24):
incompetent demons.
And the one can't hold his liquor and he gets into bar fights.
Sounds like people I know.
So they kind of made comments about like they have run-ins with the locals and they're just like,
what?
And the detective's trying to like side, just push them off to the side, like just stop,

(41:50):
stop.
And they're like, no, no, no, this has to end now.
It's like, no, but really doesn't.
Awesome.
Yeah, so the one book, they end up in the Gettysburg Hotel in the Honeymoon Suite because that
was the only room left and they're dragging a very drunk demon up into the bathtub.
And he wakes up in the middle of the night and is just like, what happened and how did I get here?

(42:13):
What do you mean, wow?
So that's the comedy side of things because, you know, horror and comedy are two sides of the same coin.
It's just one's a good scare.
Right.
That's fun.
Wow.
There needs to be more stories about how to really get.

(42:36):
I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
When Beck opens the new location for Serbensky, they've already told me I can go check out the basement
because that's where the main story takes place is in the basement of that exact shop that they're going to be moving into.
Awesome.
Okay.
That's cool.
I love basements.

(42:57):
Yeah, exactly.
And there's supposed to be tunnels under handover.
So, yeah, so I've been on a mission searching for tunnels.
Matt, do you know of any tunnels?
Yes, I do.
There's actually a really good book by a friend of mine.
His name is Richard Rash, president of the West Mannheim Historical Society, where he actually does kind of like a forensic analysis

(43:26):
of where the tunnels were in downtown Hanover.
The tunnels were used originally for heat.
Oh.
They're used to heat downtown stores.
Wow.
And unfortunately, and most towns go through like folklore iterations,

(43:47):
that whenever there's a tunnel, people will always say, well, that's because of the underground railroad or that's because of prohibition.
From what we know about Hanover's tunnels, the reality is a lot more prosaic than it was there for heating and storing.

(44:09):
But they do still exist.
If you get that book, you get it. They hit historical society.
We're going to the library.
It really dispels a lot of mess while also digging into terrible pun into the engineering, the architecture, and the science of why we had tunnels in the early 20th century, late 19th century.

(44:39):
That is so cool.
Where you go?
Fascinating.
Are there pictures?
There are if memory serves, and there's also all kinds of maps and diagrams.
Sweet.
I did find a book that features our backyard in it for the battle.
Wow.

(45:00):
Because I kept digging stuff up while I was gardening, and I was like, what is up with this?
I thought it was just a dump.
Turns out no, it was the beginning of Bunker Hill.
Oops, my bad.
So, without divulging your address, are you on 4th Street or Stock Street?

(45:24):
I can either.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
To Bunker Hill, there's different theories on how far it went, and there's different maps.
So, maybe we can talk later.
We'll talk offline.
Wait, wait.
I tried running a metal detector through the backyard, and it turns out there's a lot of stuff in my backyard that sets off a metal detector.

(45:52):
So, I don't know if it's wiring or what the deal is with it, but it's just like...
Fun fact, for those who don't know the context of Bunker Hill, Bunker Hill is basically where Eichelberger School is built, which is on a hill on Stock Street.
Some say Bunker Hill during the Battle of Hanna where that's where the Union artillery was, and that it would have been right there at the big hill at the school.

(46:24):
But then it go over to present-day 4th Street, which is one of the most beautiful streets, and hanging over there, different maps, different ways to consider that.
And then the Confederate artillery was at South Hills Golf Course and Mead Avenue, and they were at High Noon, June 30th, 1863, there exchanging volleys of cannon fodder all over town.

(46:52):
So, you can imagine if you lived in downtown Hanna where then when the cannons happened, it would be quite an experience.
We had to route some windows.
More than a train.
Yeah, I was going to go there. I was going to go there with the tracks and the trains.

(47:14):
The first night in the house, the real estate agent didn't tell us that there was a train track so close, and every way we came in avoided those train tracks.
And so that first night that we slept there, all of a sudden there's this rumble, and I'm like, what is that? That sounds like a train.
And all of a sudden it blows the whistle, and I thought it was coming right through the house. I was just like, wow.

(47:41):
I'm not a realtor. I've been burnt before.
I think everybody should stay. There should be a national law, and there should be a law just for Hanna Riverland, that if you're buying a property in Hanna Riverland, which is across the state border to Mason Dickson thing.

(48:02):
If you buy a residential property in Hanna Riverland, you should have the right to live in that house for 48 hours before the deal is done, because you'd learn so much, or even a week in terms of flooding.
Oh yeah.
Where the water flows, where the trains come into your living room.
The ghost.
Where the drain goes with whiskey bottles.

(48:26):
The drones.
The drones.
Shadow people.
Shadow people.
There's a lot going on. Yeah, but he's in there too.
And I, I mean, imagine how when that train rumbles through Mr. Pants, all those ashes are chomping up and down.
He's just rattling around in that pond.

(48:47):
He just whips us.
He might enjoy it.
He just whips the entire pasta in peace.
You know, when, when that earthquake came through, he was sitting on the glider out on the side porch and I went running out to check on him.
And it's like shaking back and forth.
And he's literally hanging onto it and looking at me like, what are you doing?

(49:11):
Wait, so we had an earthquake?
We had an earthquake.
Yeah.
Years ago, back in 2011.
I could literally feel it rumbled right under my feet through town.
I was like, what just happened?
I vaguely remember that.
Yeah, I remember because I was pregnant.
And you want to know weird?
Be pregnant and feel an earthquake.

(49:32):
Yeah, man.
Well, was the baby delivered that night?
No, no, he was delivered in November.
When was your, what's the earthquake?
I can't remember, honestly.
That'd be awesome.
It was like summertime.
I was like, I'm a New Year's baby.
I'm an earthquake.
I'm an earthquake baby.

(49:53):
Well, I mean, that was the same year that we had snow in October.
And I was just like, what is up with this kid, man?
Oh my God, your kid is, is his name Damien?
No, I don't know.
No, he's a sweetheart.
I don't know if I want to meet him.
He's a good kid.
Everybody loves him.
He's a sweetheart.

(50:14):
Wow.
Yeah.
I do want to meet you, just a thing.
I just had this paranoid fantasy that he'll listen to this 10 years from now and be like,
why the heck are you saying that when I meet me?
You think I'm Satan?

(50:36):
No, he's, he's the kind of kid that like, when he was a baby, he would go to like,
dutterers out in Littlestown and the entire place would like, line up to say hi to him.
I thought he's a politician.
Yeah, pretty much.
Well, Damien will be the president.
Oh no.
Here we go.
Much friendlier and caring kind of.
Yeah, he's a better politician.

(50:59):
Yeah.
He actually cares about like, people in general.
And you know, the earth and animals.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
He's a sweet kid.
Like he would go into the doctor's office and immediately go over to like the one person
who needed a friend and just like, talk over and smile up at them.
And I was just like, yeah, this little lady sitting there and all of a sudden he goes

(51:23):
toddling up and just like, and she starts smiling.
He starts babbling at her and baby talk and I'm like, I don't know what to say.
We just let him go.
Wait, how old is he now?
He's 13.
Yeah, he's still talking about animals.
No, he's much taller than me now.

(51:46):
I think that's an old story.
Yeah, it's a very old story.
I thought the earthquake was in 2005 and for kind of.
Well, I mean it was 2011 that the earthquake happened.
Now, you know, he's 13.
Well, maybe we should invite him on our show.
You know what?
He'd love that.
He would absolutely.
But no promises.
It's a check of things I can produce.

(52:09):
I actually thought he was much older.
Yeah.
He's a couple of times a minute.
He's one of those old souls.
I call him the little old man.
He goes in and you know, when he goes into places, especially if they'll let him, he
will go into the kitchen and like learn about the kitchen.
Wow.

(52:30):
Yeah.
Succession plant teeth.
Yeah.
For a 14 year old.
Which out labor law should he ever land?
Just wear some non-slip shoes.
Either that or sign a waiver before.

(52:52):
Anyone?
How do you two meet?
You said you met her at the surface?
Well, no.
We met years ago.
Oh, okay.
That's when I first met you.
Oh, cool.
Ty.
Ty is a regular here.
I can cut that out.

(53:14):
But your husband texted me or maybe it was, I don't know who, but basically said that
she's having a book signing at Serpent's Key.
So I just scampered over there and bought a couple of books.
That was fun.
That's a fun place to.
Yeah.
I love Serpent's Key.

(53:35):
And just to affectionate Serpent's Key is Baltimore Street, the first block, second block.
They're going to be moving.
Oh, they're moving, okay.
So the old dress shop.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
The old dress shop.
The makers.
Oh, Simone's.
Oh, Simone's.
Okay.
On Middle Street?
No, on the main drag.

(53:56):
Right next to, it's near Cobb 51 and World Records and all that.
Oh, okay.
Tases.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
They've got old shakes over there.
Oh, right, right, right.
That's a great location.
I don't think I've ever watched any more.
Well, that's wonderful.
Yeah, that's a space that could use some energy.
A lot of good energy downtown.

(54:17):
So thanks for all that you do to infuse downtown with arts and all your grotesque fiends and
macabre.
Hey, people stop by to see my garden all the time.
I can't wait.
Maybe I'll be invited to a Halloween party one of these years.

(54:39):
I'm not going to wait.
That's a pretty exclusive guest list.
You have to be okay with fighting a bounce house.
I'm in.
You have to fight me.
The funniest part is every time we get the bounce house, we figure the kids are going

(55:00):
to be in it and the adults are in it.
And then we remember why we don't go in the bounce house.
I would probably just lay there.
Oh, my God.
I wouldn't be able to get back up again.
I went in the bounce house one year and I gave myself a headache because it was like
just too much.
I fell on my butt.
I fell on my knees.
I fell on everything.

(55:21):
It hurt my back.
It hurt my head.
It was like, I'm done.
And my son was a toddler at the time, so I was much younger.
And he was just like, but come on.
There's more.
Like there's more damage to you for sure.
That was me with the trampoline and my kids.
Oh, my Lord.
Yeah.
I figured the bounce house would be less impactful than the trampoline, but I was wrong.

(55:47):
So wrong.
Back when I was drinking vodka, my apartment was literally a bounce house.
Purpose or by accident?
Purpose.
I just have that vision that she was with bounce.
After midnight, it turned into a bounce house.

(56:12):
I had an apartment where I put glow in the dark stars down this really long, narrow hallway
going to the bathroom.
And then I painted glow in the dark stars to give it depth.
And then I charged it up before I had a party and everybody that got drunk immediately ran
right into the wall.

(56:33):
And it was the best thing I've ever done in my life.
Definitely when I come to one of your parties.
It's like, I was like the exact opposite of an Ischipour.
It's like I didn't put a black like Bugs Bunny hole on the floor.
I put like, well, somebody did.

(56:57):
That was like the greatest.
I'm like, they had ropes and signs like don't go on the Ischipour, you know, Bugs Bunny
hole.
And some tourists was like, I'm going to go on the Bugs Bunny hole.
And then they felt like, Jesus.
I would pray for me.
I would do something.
I would be like, I'm going to go see where this goes.
Let's see how this works out.

(57:20):
Oh man.
Well, down that hole we did.
Yeah, at some point I'm going to paint the walls of the art room to be glow in the dark
with three dimensions and somebody's going to run into those walls.
It's going to be glorious.

(57:41):
Yeah, you do tournpleu.
Exactly.
I was in your art room and that was quite an amazing place.
Do you have a special spot that you like to write?
Pretty much wherever.
I usually start off in a notebook and go from there.

(58:03):
So I always have a notebook on me.
Now years ago, I...
You probably remember what I wrote in Warehouse.
In fact, I was writing the Metatron mysteries and I think it was when you first opened the
brewery.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I was hanging out.
So that's what you were doing.

(58:26):
I thought you were spying on us and taking medicine.
I was writing a book.
Well, I remember talking...
I guess when we were first introduced, I was working on something as well.

(58:48):
It's actually still ongoing.
It's a book about a restaurant, believe it or not.
Get out of your comfort zone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My problem is that I'm not a good typer.
I never learned to type in high school.
I mean, I type with my eyes and my fingers looking at the keyboard.

(59:14):
But you told me that you was like, I don't type either.
Do you do a voice?
Yeah, I do a lot of speech to text.
Yeah.
So I just put it into a Google Doc on my phone and just read it.
That's brilliant.
That is so...
The trouble is I have to talk slower because I talk very fast usually.

(59:38):
The more into it I get, the more fast I talk.
I don't have a problem.
I actually have to slow down talking.
Any time I'm outside of New York, I have to slow down and remember that I'm not in New York.

(01:00:01):
Because everybody just says, that's really fast.
I didn't get all that.
I'm like, here's the handout.
It's like when my wife and her friends get together and there'd be like three or four
of them talking at the same time and they talk so fast, I can't understand what they're

(01:00:22):
saying.
I only know if they can either.
Is that a...
I mean, we have conversations like that in New York too where we're literally having two
conversations at the same time with each other and interjecting at the same time super fast

(01:00:43):
and then moving on from it.
So it sounds like we're interrupting each other, but we're actually having two conversations
to maximize our time together.
Wow.
I think that's where I'm at.
Me too.
The voices in your head.
We've written a lot of novels up there.
Listen to tragedy.

(01:01:06):
Wow.
What if our brains had what's the coding in?
You have the text.
Text the speech.
Yeah, we're sure our brains had that.
It would be scary.
I can't.
Your movements were terrifying in one of your hard novellas.
When I'm writing, I kind of channel it.

(01:01:29):
Norman's part of you.
Now he has part of you.
He'd give me my middle finger.
It's Norman based on teeth.
No, it's actually...
Norman was inspired by the puppet from the Interpol video for Evil.

(01:01:53):
And it is just a terrifying looking human sized puppet.
And at some point it got packed away and disintegrated.
And somebody found it somewhere in some storage shed and brought it back to life.
And I was like, why?

(01:02:15):
So now there's this terrifying puppet back into the world again.
And I thought, you know, what would it be like to be roommates with that thing?
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
Tell us a bit about your poetry.
Gothic?
I'm...
Very stream of consciousness.

(01:02:37):
There is nothing really rhymy about it.
It's...
Again, it was written while completely dosed out of my skull on Nyquil.
So you do spiritualists writing?
Pretty much, yeah.
Like an unconscious...

(01:02:59):
Curse of Nyquil.
Nyquil, by the way, is the presenting sponsor of this special episode
of Everland, the podcast.
Don't forget to get your Nyquil to sleep in.
Comes in green and red flavors.

(01:03:22):
Pick your poison, kids.
Next week, Peptobiz will be here.
Next week, it's Inagermis.
It's only so much we can stomach.

(01:03:43):
Good times, good times.
Yes.
Well, now that that was...
Do you have any poetry on you right now?
I do not.
It is actually in the back of Apocryphal of the Apocalypse,
written as Mr. Ministry.
What?

(01:04:05):
And it's got bad words, I can't say.
Oh, well, that didn't stop you earlier.
I mean, that's, you know, PG-13 bad words.
It's, you know, Prime Television bad words versus the F-bombs.
Is there any poem, any poems or excerpts that you'd like to read, and I have?

(01:04:26):
Let's see how your Wi-Fi is.
Well, there is none.
I have ads.
We're lucky you have electricity.
Let's see.
I've got Maggot Party also unpublished.
That's probably got swear words in it too.

(01:04:48):
Well, some of these are my end-or-off the-sense of poetry, so I just...
I'd like to share.
Yeah, I don't really have anything poetry.
I can read you some of...
I'm a banana over if you'd like.
Bring it on.
Okay.
We can put the poetry on in post if you want.

(01:05:11):
Yeah, sure. So I'm going to jump through the prologue and go straight to chapter one.

(01:05:42):
Marduk, you have had too much to drink again.
He whispered in the old language.
Marduk shushed him.
This gentleman has asked about demonic possession and who better to answer it than the experts.
Experts? The man at the bar gave the trio a side-long glance.
What are you guys, priests or something?
Just forget it, Smith said with a tight smile.
Let's switch topics.

(01:06:03):
My friend here has had a bit too much to drink, and once he gets started, it's tough to get him to shut up.
Marduk stuck a finger against Smith's lips, silencing him as he leaned across his lap to the man on the other side of the detective.
What do you want to know about demonic possession?
The man snorted.
Are they real? Demons? And why do they possess people?
With his free hand, Marduk pointed at him.

(01:06:25):
Exactly.
You know why we do it? Fear.
The man chuckled a Smith-wrestled Marduk off of him.
Once freed, Marduk tumbled from the bar stool and shook off Pazuzu's reaching fingers.
He shambled to the empty seat on the other side of the man at the bar and leaned against it as he attempted and failed to focus on his new friend.
Fear? Fear of what?

(01:06:47):
The man asked skeptically.
He wore a stained tank top in equally-duried ball cap.
His sagging jeans suggested he worked around machinery often.
The oil and grease stains practically a history down to his battered work boots.
Marduk threw his head back and laughed, exposing row upon row of pointed teeth along his upper palate.
To keep their fear of God fresh, I guess.

(01:07:09):
I never really thought about the source of them. Why, now that you mention it.
He looked over at Pazuzu. You got any idea?
Pazuzu sighed and shook his head. He muttered something, but his words were drowned out by the volume of the music from the bar's jukebox.
The man didn't seem to notice or was unfazed by Marduk and Pazuzu's crumb-colored eyes and gray pallor.
He continued to sip his beer, nodding appreciatively.

(01:07:31):
Smith and Pazuzu both motioned for Marduk to shut up, but Marduk was on a roll.
Demon possessions are pain in the ass, to be honest.
He continued, motioning his thanks at the—as the bartender slid a glass of water toward him with a meaningful glance.
Do you know how much paperwork is involved?
Hell loves paperwork.
He sifted his water and glared into the distance, and everything has to be filled out in triplicate by hand.

(01:07:55):
No photocopiers in hell.
That sucks, man. Seems like corporate's always sticking it to us, am I right?
Yes, Marduk said, and shoved a finger into the man's shoulder for emphasis as water sloshed over the sides of his glass.
Exactly, you understand me.
He waved a dismissive hand toward Pazuzu and Smith.
Some humans try it like that one, but they fail miserably.

(01:08:16):
Looking him over there with his stupid human face, he doesn't even know how stupidly stupid he looks,
and I just don't have the heart to tell him.
The man at the bar paused at the mention of humans and began to look more closely at his drinking companion over the top of his beer.
Marduk's glass made cracking noises as the ice in his water melted too fast, and he was oblivious.
He leaned against the bar top and smiled at the man.

(01:08:39):
It was a wide smile, one that showed a good portion of his teeth much further back than a normal human smile would have gone.
In his drunken state, Marduk was sloppy about his visage and was forgetting how to appear normal.
His jagged grin was quickly becoming the least of his worries, however.
The man at the bar stared at Marduk's sagging face with a look of mingled confusion, concern, and amusement.

(01:09:00):
He pointed in motion as delicately as his beer-addled brain could at that point.
Hey buddy, you hear in a stroke or something?
Huh? The man motioned.
Your face is running.
Marduk sighed and smoothed his cheeks back into place.
Thanks for letting me know.
I lost some weight recently and the old skin suit doesn't fit like it used to.

(01:09:21):
That's like... oh, that's so nice.
You're sharing.
Or... awesome.
So that's the handover.
Yes, that is the open handover of Sims of the Snack Food Capital that will be released next year.
Awesome.

(01:09:42):
Okay, um, anything we missed there?
I think it's better than my invite to the Halloween party.
Definitely.
Or the summer party.
Oh, there's a bell tower.
The summer party has the bell tower.
We can't put the bell towers out in the hall.

(01:10:03):
Perfect. That's a very good point.
Thank you so much.
This was such a pleasure.
Thank you.
You're a treasure.
That's what I should have said. You are a treasure. You really are.
I so want to read your books.
Thank you.

(01:10:24):
Because I'm the girl that says, no, there's no Hallmark movie going online, which is a funny joke.
Between me and my one girlfriend because she loves to watch Hallmark movies, especially this guy.
That makes me so terrified.
But yeah, there's the real horror.
So yeah, just thank you so much for sharing what you brought today.

(01:10:48):
And can't wait to investigate your new novels.
What do you call them? What do you term your writing as novels?
Some of them are novels. Some of them are novellas.
Some of them are just short stories.
So there's something for everybody because a lot of people I've noticed have, you know, they're like, oh, I don't read because my attention span.

(01:11:12):
And I'm like, well, that's why I write short stuff because my attention span.
And so they have a book that's small enough that they can feel accomplished by having read an entire book today.
Can people find a website for you or a Facebook page?
Yes, I am on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok for as long as TikTok lasts.

(01:11:36):
Which name do you use there?
Suzanne Madron.
Okay, yeah, so all the socials I am Suzanne Madron and Keith still has a friend request waiting.
Yes, MADRON.
It's a CZA NNE MADRON.
And just a shameless plug.

(01:11:58):
Thanks for being a member of Hanoverland, the Facebook group.
And, you know, we exist to serve maker spirits like yours.
So if you'd like to share any of your art, excerpts, chapters, installment chapters, maybe you could be the Charles Stichtons of Hanover in terms of installments.

(01:12:22):
Feel free to share as you wish on Hanoverland.
Cool.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I don't do Facebook.
I just, it's just me.
I do Facebook to look at cat videos.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, Keith, please accept my friend invite.

(01:12:46):
It's been six years.
I keep canceling your request and then sending it again just to be annoying.
Sorry, Fox.
Like, why would you friend me?
I think I'm afraid I'll share too much.
That's why I have bouncy moments.

(01:13:08):
Yeah, that's why you go radio show.
Oh, wait, you don't do the bouncy moments anymore.
That's just 2002.
No, no.
That's why I have sock puppet accounts.
If people are looking for the real me off LinkedIn and stuff like that, I have an actual Facebook account set up for that where they can search me and they can find me.

(01:13:31):
And I have just enough, oh, I'm wild and crazy pictures that it's like, okay, she's got wild and crazy pictures.
You know, there's a picture of me where I got lost in Philly because I was so drunk after the Lumber Parade that I couldn't remember where I lived.
I had to listen for I-95 so that I knew which way was north.

(01:13:53):
So I'm literally sitting on someone's porch like, and I have my head cocked to the side listening for I-95.
Yeah, that happened to me after the Cure concert back in 99.

(01:14:14):
I saw them at, I think it was Nassau Coliseum. That was a great show. It was the Wish Tour.
And I also saw them at Camden in New Jersey, that Camden amphitheater thing.
That's where I disappeared in my kneecap.
And there was no pit.

(01:14:40):
Someone painted a black circle.
It was an Ischka poor. Curses.
The Henry Land podcast is a corn fed pretzel based amalgam of diverse ingredients.
For men who have distilled and carbonated, to provide you with the most shelf-stable consumer product we could muster.