September 23, 2025 • 21 mins
In this powerful episode of Health, Healing, and Hope, Reggie Alvarez shares his journey of faith, service, and the hidden battle he fought with depression. For years, he wore “the mask,” outwardly strong but silently struggling. His story reveals how one honest question from his wife opened the door to vulnerability, healing, and hope. Through Scripture, honesty, and community, Reggie reminds us that we don’t have to suffer in silence—healing begins when we take off the mask.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hello, hello, hello, and welcomeback to Health Healing and Hope.
I'm your host, Niki HopePresley.
Thank you for being here.
There are so many other placesyou could be, but you chose to
spend your time with me and I amso grateful.
Each week we explore the realstories and practical truths
that help us move from hiding tohealing and from surviving to
(00:25):
thriving.
Today's episode is part of ourshared story segment, which I'm
so excited about, where we heardirectly from courageous people
who have walked through valleysfaced challenges and discovered
hope on the other side.
These stories remind us thathealing isn't just theory, it's
lived experience.
(00:47):
But before we delve into ourshared story, I'd like to recap
the previous episode, move it orlose it.
If you haven't had a chance tolisten, please make sure you do.
These last few weeks have beenvery difficult for me, and
incorporating some intentionalphysical activity has been an
incredible help.
(01:07):
In the last episode, I emphasizethe importance of movement, not
only for our physical health,but also for our mental health.
And also don't forget, staytuned for more information about
our seven day Move It or Lose ItChallenge.
Okay?
I wanna make sure you get achance to check that out.
(01:29):
But let's get into today'sepisode.
I'd like to share a powerfultestimony from my dear friend,
Reggie Alvarez.
His story is one of ministrystruggle, vulnerability, and
ultimately healing.
(01:52):
Listen to this special music.
Open Your Heart and your Mind.
This is shared story.
Singer (02:23):
What holds within it lessens hope and the undeniable
truth that you are still.
Here.
Every challenge you faced, everyscar you carry, and every
obstacle you've overcome a partof a testimony that can light
the way for someone else.
(02:46):
When you share your story, youdon't just release your, you
permit others to do the, youremind them that they're not
alone Perspective.
An inspiration in ways you maynever fully realize.
(03:08):
At Health Healing and Hope.
We believe stories are medicine.
They bridge gaps, open heartsand nurture communities where
healing can flourish.
This section is dedicated tohonoring voices, yours, mine,
and those of others who havechosen to give a voice to their
(03:30):
story.
Of silence and moving towardshealing instead of remaining and
hiding.
(03:52):
It is a seed of healing, a sparkof hope, and a reminder that].
(05:04):
In the Bible, Jonah chapter twoverses one through seven.
In the good news translation, itreads.
From deep inside the fish, Jonahprayed to the Lord his God in my
distress.
Oh Lord.
I called to you and you answeredme from deep in the world of the
dead.
I cried for help and you heardme.
(05:25):
You threw me down into thedepths to the very bottom of the
sea where the waters were allaround me, and all your mighty
waves rolled over me.
I thought I had been banishedfrom your presence and would
never see your holy templeagain.
The water came over me andchoked me.
The sea covered me completelyand seaweed wrapped around my
(05:48):
head.
I went down to the very roots ofthe mountain into the land whose
gates lock shut forever.
But you Oh Lord, my God broughtme back from the depths.
Alive when I felt my lifeslipping away.
Then, oh Lord, I prayed to youand in your holy temple.
(06:08):
You heard me.
Grace and peace.
My name is Reggie Alvarez and Ifirst wanna thank my dear friend
Natiki for creating spaces forstories like mine.
Stories of people who have facedchallenge hurts valleys and
struggles, yet also experiencemountains of victory.
(06:28):
Thank you for sharing thesetestimonies with the hope of
encouraging others who may bewalking through their own
battles.
This is part of my journey, notonly what I've overcome, but
what I'm still overcoming.
A little bit about me.
(06:49):
This December 17th will mark 30years of walking with the Lord.
Over that time, God has openeddoors I never could have
imagined.
I've served as a full-timeminister for 15 years, been a
youth leader for over twodecades.
I've managed and choreographedfor a step team.
I started 20 years ago whileteaching kindergarten for the
(07:12):
same 20 years.
In all the while traveling theworld as a missionary, I've had
the privilege of leadingweddings, funerals, sweet
sixteens, counseling families,and ministering to people of all
ages.
My life has been fully immersedin service, and I genuinely love
it.
(07:33):
I love being used by God to pourinto the lives of others, but
what most people didn't know iswhat I never dared to admit.
Was that for nearly 10 yearswhile I was pouring into
everyone else, I was silentlybattling depression as a man and
(07:54):
especially a black man.
Depression wasn't something Ithought I could ever
acknowledge.
The stigma was too heavy growingup.
No one ever talked about mentalhealth in the eighties and
nineties.
People struggling were oftendismissed as crazy.
If you saw a therapist or calledto shrink in those days, you
were made fun of.
(08:15):
Back then, we didn't have thelanguage for depression, so
people like me simply sufferedin silence.
I became a master of the mask.
I outwardly, I was friendly,outgoing, and always present for
others.
Inwardly I was drowning.
(08:36):
When I was alone, the mask cameoff.
I often stayed in bed with theblinds drawn and the lights off.
I isolated myself.
I stopped caring for myselfsometimes neglecting even basic
hygiene.
I overate and though I alwaysthought about God, I wasn't
(08:57):
really talking to him.
I wasn't praying like I should.
Neglecting my relationship withhim.
Looking back now, I believe theroots of my depression traced
back to 1999 to 2000 when Iserved as a missionary in
Europe.
(09:18):
I lived overseas for a yeartraveling through the Czech
Republic, Holland, London, andeven South Africa.
And at first it was amazing, butwithin four to five months.
The inner battles began.
Doing missions with a team isone thing.
Doing it alone is another.
(09:39):
Loneliness began to weigh on me.
I faced cultural barriers andracism.
People would stare and point,and some places no one would
help me, and few would evenspeak to me.
Over time, I began shutting downemotionally.
(10:00):
When I returned to the US,things got worse.
I came home with no job, nohome, and no clear direction.
After having given up everythingto go overseas, I now realize I
was experiencing reverse cultureshock in Europe every day, had a
(10:20):
sense of purpose.
Back home, I felt empty,invisible, and without value.
And I never told anyone.
Still I managed to function.
I masked it well enough thatmost people never noticed, but
everything began to change whenI got married.
(10:43):
I met my incredible wife,Monique, in 2007, and we married
in 2012.
By then I had become skilled athiding my depression, but
marriage meant someone was nowclose enough to see what others
couldn't.
Monique noticed my lack ofself-care.
(11:04):
My indifference, my withdrawal.
Our arguments became heatedbecause I didn't know how to
explain what was happeninginside me.
Then one day in 2016.
Monique asked me a question noone has ever asked before.
(11:25):
Reggie, are you depressed?
Her words hit me like a ton ofbricks.
After years of ministrycounseling and friendships, no
one had ever asked me that, andfor the first time in my life I
said yes, and then I weptbitterly.
(11:46):
It was as though years of hurt,anger, shame, confusion, and
sorrow all broke loose.
That moment was the beginning ofmy healing.
I realized then that while Ihadn't been transparent, I had
not been truly vulnerable.
(12:07):
I had chosen what people couldknow about me, but Monique saw
what no one else could.
And her question opened thefloodgates.
Since then, God has beenteaching me the importance of
expressing my feelings.
Something that doesn't comeeasily to most men, but is
(12:28):
absolutely vital.
Men struggle with depressiontoo.
We just often express itdifferently and sometimes it
shows up.
Overworking other times anobsessive exercise.
For some it becomes drinking,smoking, overeating, or even
adultery.
(12:49):
These destructive behaviors areoften coping mechanisms for
unspoken pain.
While society wants lack thelanguage for depression, the
Bible never did.
We may not see the worddepression in scripture, but we
see the experience.
Take Jonah, for example.
In Jonah two, one and seven,Jonah describes crying out from
(13:13):
the depths, overwhelmed,suffocating, and ready to die.
That's what depression feelslike.
I've had those days where Ididn't wanna get out of bed
where life felt like life itselfwas choking me.
But like Jonah, I called out andGod sent help.
(13:36):
Through his presence, throughhis word, and through people
like my wife, and sadly, noteveryone gets that help in time.
I remember hearing about apastor whose son took his own
life in his suicide note.
The sun wrote, I feel like I'mdrowning in the ocean.
(13:58):
I can see people around metrying to help, but they can't
reach me.
I'm too far.
Too deep.
Those words haunt me because Ifelt the same way before and I
know so many others have too.
That's why I share my storybecause there are people, young
(14:20):
and old, silently strugglingwith suicidal thoughts and they
need to hear this.
You are not alone.
If you're struggling, I want youto know that God hears you, he
sees you, and there is someonewho loves you enough to listen.
(14:42):
If no one has asked you howyou're doing, take the step of
telling someone anyway.
Don't make the mistake I did bymasking your pain day after day.
Because the more you bury what'sreally going on inside, the more
it takes over.
It can turn you bitter, cynical,and into someone you were never
(15:06):
meant to be.
My story is still being written,but I thank God for saving me,
for blessing me with Monique andso many friends and family,
including Natiki, for teachingme that honesty is the doorway
to healing, and my prayer isthis.
(15:28):
By sharing my story, someoneelse will find courage to take
off the mask, confess whatthey're going through, and begin
their own journey of healing.
James five 16 says this, so thenconfess your sins to one another
and pray for one another so thatyou will be healed.
(15:49):
The prayer of a good person hasa powerful effect.
Don't slip away in silence.
Cry out to the Lord, and don'tbe afraid of reaching out to the
people he brings to your mindand heart.
Healing is waiting for you.
All you have to do is confess inyour heart, confess that you're
(16:11):
scared, and confess that youneed help.
I wanna thank Reggie for sharinghis story, his very powerful and
impactful story.
Here's something I want you tothink about.
(16:33):
Many of us know what it means towear the mask as Reggie
mentioned to be everything foreveryone else while secretly
drowning inside.
And as Reggie shares for men andespecially for black men, the
stigma around mental healthoften makes it even harder to
speak up.
(16:55):
What strikes me is how powerfulone simple question can be.
Sometimes healing begins notwith an answer, but with the
courage to ask the rightquestion, and the grace to
answer honestly.
Friends.
I am so thankful for Reggie'scourage in sharing his journey.
(17:18):
His story reminds us thatdepression is real.
It's heavy, and it's nothing tobe ashamed of.
But it also reminds us thathealing is possible when we take
off the mask, when we're willingto stop hiding and start
healing.
Remember, you cannot heal whatyou are not willing to address.
(17:46):
Covering up something is notgoing to make it go away.
In some cases, covering up makesthings worse.
As Reggie mentioned, when youkeep things inside, they have a
tendency to take over and toeventually make you into someone
(18:13):
that you were never meant to be.
If you're listening today andyou've been silently struggling.
As Reggie said, I want you toknow that you're not alone.
I'm right here with you.
That is the purpose of thispodcast, so that I can walk
(18:38):
alongside you so that I canoffer you stories that remind
you that.
You are not alone.
You're not the only one goingthrough these things.
You're not the only one dealingwith depression.
Reggie has been in ministry forover 30 years and yet still
(19:00):
struggled with depression.
There's nothing to be ashamedof.
The shame is not in what you'redealing with.
The shame is not doing anything.
About it.
That wraps up today's episode ofHealth Healing and hope a big
thank you again to Reggie forhis powerful testimony.
(19:23):
And if this story touched you,please share it with someone who
needs the encouragement.
And also don't forget, and Iprobably haven't mentioned it,
so I, I shouldn't say, don'tforget.
But please click on the linkbelow.
I have made available a quickreflection journal for you to go
(19:47):
through, specifically if this isfor you and you're dealing with
something like depression, or ifit's someone you know and you
wanna share it with them, andit's not a way for you.
To avoid talking about it.
(20:09):
This is not in lieu of havingconversations with people or
letting people know what you'redealing with, but it will help
you to put some language to yourstory and more importantly, to
help you understand, sometimeswe just don't fully understand
(20:29):
what's going on inside of us,and we need time to reflect.
Until next time, thank you againfor being here.
And remember, you're not alone.
Keep believing.
Keep trusting.
(20:52):
Keep moving towards healing.
Be better today than you wereyesterday and work to be better
tomorrow than you are today.
Be strong.
Be well.
Be you.
Hello, hello, hello, and welcomeback to Health Healing and Hope.
I'm your host, Niki HopePresley.
Thank you for being here.
There are so many other placesyou could be, but you chose to
spend your time with me and I amso grateful.
Each week we explore the realstories and practical truths
that help us move from hiding tohealing and from surviving to
(00:25):
thriving.
Today's episode is part of ourshared story segment, which I'm
so excited about, where we heardirectly from courageous people
who have walked through valleysfaced challenges and discovered
hope on the other side.
These stories remind us thathealing isn't just theory, it's
lived experience.
(00:47):
But before we delve into ourshared story, I'd like to recap
the previous episode, move it orlose it.
If you haven't had a chance tolisten, please make sure you do.
These last few weeks have beenvery difficult for me, and
incorporating some intentionalphysical activity has been an
incredible help.
(01:07):
In the last episode, I emphasizethe importance of movement, not
only for our physical health,but also for our mental health.
And also don't forget, staytuned for more information about
our seven day Move It or Lose ItChallenge.
Okay?
I wanna make sure you get achance to check that out.
(01:29):
But let's get into today'sepisode.
I'd like to share a powerfultestimony from my dear friend,
Reggie Alvarez.
His story is one of ministrystruggle, vulnerability, and
ultimately healing.
(01:52):
Listen to this special music.
Open Your Heart and your Mind.
This is shared story.
Singer (02:23):
What holds within it lessens hope and the undeniable
truth that you are still.
Here.
Every challenge you faced, everyscar you carry, and every
obstacle you've overcome a partof a testimony that can light
the way for someone else.
(02:46):
When you share your story, youdon't just release your, you
permit others to do the, youremind them that they're not
alone Perspective.
An inspiration in ways you maynever fully realize.
(03:08):
At Health Healing and Hope.
We believe stories are medicine.
They bridge gaps, open heartsand nurture communities where
healing can flourish.
This section is dedicated tohonoring voices, yours, mine,
and those of others who havechosen to give a voice to their
(03:30):
story.
Of silence and moving towardshealing instead of remaining and
hiding.
(03:52):
It is a seed of healing, a sparkof hope, and a reminder that].
(05:04):
In the Bible, Jonah chapter twoverses one through seven.
In the good news translation, itreads.
From deep inside the fish, Jonahprayed to the Lord his God in my
distress.
Oh Lord.
I called to you and you answeredme from deep in the world of the
dead.
I cried for help and you heardme.
(05:25):
You threw me down into thedepths to the very bottom of the
sea where the waters were allaround me, and all your mighty
waves rolled over me.
I thought I had been banishedfrom your presence and would
never see your holy templeagain.
The water came over me andchoked me.
The sea covered me completelyand seaweed wrapped around my
(05:48):
head.
I went down to the very roots ofthe mountain into the land whose
gates lock shut forever.
But you Oh Lord, my God broughtme back from the depths.
Alive when I felt my lifeslipping away.
Then, oh Lord, I prayed to youand in your holy temple.
(06:08):
You heard me.
Grace and peace.
My name is Reggie Alvarez and Ifirst wanna thank my dear friend
Natiki for creating spaces forstories like mine.
Stories of people who have facedchallenge hurts valleys and
struggles, yet also experiencemountains of victory.
(06:28):
Thank you for sharing thesetestimonies with the hope of
encouraging others who may bewalking through their own
battles.
This is part of my journey, notonly what I've overcome, but
what I'm still overcoming.
A little bit about me.
(06:49):
This December 17th will mark 30years of walking with the Lord.
Over that time, God has openeddoors I never could have
imagined.
I've served as a full-timeminister for 15 years, been a
youth leader for over twodecades.
I've managed and choreographedfor a step team.
I started 20 years ago whileteaching kindergarten for the
(07:12):
same 20 years.
In all the while traveling theworld as a missionary, I've had
the privilege of leadingweddings, funerals, sweet
sixteens, counseling families,and ministering to people of all
ages.
My life has been fully immersedin service, and I genuinely love
it.
(07:33):
I love being used by God to pourinto the lives of others, but
what most people didn't know iswhat I never dared to admit.
Was that for nearly 10 yearswhile I was pouring into
everyone else, I was silentlybattling depression as a man and
(07:54):
especially a black man.
Depression wasn't something Ithought I could ever
acknowledge.
The stigma was too heavy growingup.
No one ever talked about mentalhealth in the eighties and
nineties.
People struggling were oftendismissed as crazy.
If you saw a therapist or calledto shrink in those days, you
were made fun of.
(08:15):
Back then, we didn't have thelanguage for depression, so
people like me simply sufferedin silence.
I became a master of the mask.
I outwardly, I was friendly,outgoing, and always present for
others.
Inwardly I was drowning.
(08:36):
When I was alone, the mask cameoff.
I often stayed in bed with theblinds drawn and the lights off.
I isolated myself.
I stopped caring for myselfsometimes neglecting even basic
hygiene.
I overate and though I alwaysthought about God, I wasn't
(08:57):
really talking to him.
I wasn't praying like I should.
Neglecting my relationship withhim.
Looking back now, I believe theroots of my depression traced
back to 1999 to 2000 when Iserved as a missionary in
Europe.
(09:18):
I lived overseas for a yeartraveling through the Czech
Republic, Holland, London, andeven South Africa.
And at first it was amazing, butwithin four to five months.
The inner battles began.
Doing missions with a team isone thing.
Doing it alone is another.
(09:39):
Loneliness began to weigh on me.
I faced cultural barriers andracism.
People would stare and point,and some places no one would
help me, and few would evenspeak to me.
Over time, I began shutting downemotionally.
(10:00):
When I returned to the US,things got worse.
I came home with no job, nohome, and no clear direction.
After having given up everythingto go overseas, I now realize I
was experiencing reverse cultureshock in Europe every day, had a
(10:20):
sense of purpose.
Back home, I felt empty,invisible, and without value.
And I never told anyone.
Still I managed to function.
I masked it well enough thatmost people never noticed, but
everything began to change whenI got married.
(10:43):
I met my incredible wife,Monique, in 2007, and we married
in 2012.
By then I had become skilled athiding my depression, but
marriage meant someone was nowclose enough to see what others
couldn't.
Monique noticed my lack ofself-care.
(11:04):
My indifference, my withdrawal.
Our arguments became heatedbecause I didn't know how to
explain what was happeninginside me.
Then one day in 2016.
Monique asked me a question noone has ever asked before.
(11:25):
Reggie, are you depressed?
Her words hit me like a ton ofbricks.
After years of ministrycounseling and friendships, no
one had ever asked me that, andfor the first time in my life I
said yes, and then I weptbitterly.
(11:46):
It was as though years of hurt,anger, shame, confusion, and
sorrow all broke loose.
That moment was the beginning ofmy healing.
I realized then that while Ihadn't been transparent, I had
not been truly vulnerable.
(12:07):
I had chosen what people couldknow about me, but Monique saw
what no one else could.
And her question opened thefloodgates.
Since then, God has beenteaching me the importance of
expressing my feelings.
Something that doesn't comeeasily to most men, but is
(12:28):
absolutely vital.
Men struggle with depressiontoo.
We just often express itdifferently and sometimes it
shows up.
Overworking other times anobsessive exercise.
For some it becomes drinking,smoking, overeating, or even
adultery.
(12:49):
These destructive behaviors areoften coping mechanisms for
unspoken pain.
While society wants lack thelanguage for depression, the
Bible never did.
We may not see the worddepression in scripture, but we
see the experience.
Take Jonah, for example.
In Jonah two, one and seven,Jonah describes crying out from
(13:13):
the depths, overwhelmed,suffocating, and ready to die.
That's what depression feelslike.
I've had those days where Ididn't wanna get out of bed
where life felt like life itselfwas choking me.
But like Jonah, I called out andGod sent help.
(13:36):
Through his presence, throughhis word, and through people
like my wife, and sadly, noteveryone gets that help in time.
I remember hearing about apastor whose son took his own
life in his suicide note.
The sun wrote, I feel like I'mdrowning in the ocean.
(13:58):
I can see people around metrying to help, but they can't
reach me.
I'm too far.
Too deep.
Those words haunt me because Ifelt the same way before and I
know so many others have too.
That's why I share my storybecause there are people, young
(14:20):
and old, silently strugglingwith suicidal thoughts and they
need to hear this.
You are not alone.
If you're struggling, I want youto know that God hears you, he
sees you, and there is someonewho loves you enough to listen.
(14:42):
If no one has asked you howyou're doing, take the step of
telling someone anyway.
Don't make the mistake I did bymasking your pain day after day.
Because the more you bury what'sreally going on inside, the more
it takes over.
It can turn you bitter, cynical,and into someone you were never
(15:06):
meant to be.
My story is still being written,but I thank God for saving me,
for blessing me with Monique andso many friends and family,
including Natiki, for teachingme that honesty is the doorway
to healing, and my prayer isthis.
(15:28):
By sharing my story, someoneelse will find courage to take
off the mask, confess whatthey're going through, and begin
their own journey of healing.
James five 16 says this, so thenconfess your sins to one another
and pray for one another so thatyou will be healed.
(15:49):
The prayer of a good person hasa powerful effect.
Don't slip away in silence.
Cry out to the Lord, and don'tbe afraid of reaching out to the
people he brings to your mindand heart.
Healing is waiting for you.
All you have to do is confess inyour heart, confess that you're
(16:11):
scared, and confess that youneed help.
I wanna thank Reggie for sharinghis story, his very powerful and
impactful story.
Here's something I want you tothink about.
(16:33):
Many of us know what it means towear the mask as Reggie
mentioned to be everything foreveryone else while secretly
drowning inside.
And as Reggie shares for men andespecially for black men, the
stigma around mental healthoften makes it even harder to
speak up.
(16:55):
What strikes me is how powerfulone simple question can be.
Sometimes healing begins notwith an answer, but with the
courage to ask the rightquestion, and the grace to
answer honestly.
Friends.
I am so thankful for Reggie'scourage in sharing his journey.
(17:18):
His story reminds us thatdepression is real.
It's heavy, and it's nothing tobe ashamed of.
But it also reminds us thathealing is possible when we take
off the mask, when we're willingto stop hiding and start
healing.
Remember, you cannot heal whatyou are not willing to address.
(17:46):
Covering up something is notgoing to make it go away.
In some cases, covering up makesthings worse.
As Reggie mentioned, when youkeep things inside, they have a
tendency to take over and toeventually make you into someone
(18:13):
that you were never meant to be.
If you're listening today andyou've been silently struggling.
As Reggie said, I want you toknow that you're not alone.
I'm right here with you.
That is the purpose of thispodcast, so that I can walk
(18:38):
alongside you so that I canoffer you stories that remind
you that.
You are not alone.
You're not the only one goingthrough these things.
You're not the only one dealingwith depression.
Reggie has been in ministry forover 30 years and yet still
(19:00):
struggled with depression.
There's nothing to be ashamedof.
The shame is not in what you'redealing with.
The shame is not doing anything.
About it.
That wraps up today's episode ofHealth Healing and hope a big
thank you again to Reggie forhis powerful testimony.
(19:23):
And if this story touched you,please share it with someone who
needs the encouragement.
And also don't forget, and Iprobably haven't mentioned it,
so I, I shouldn't say, don'tforget.
But please click on the linkbelow.
I have made available a quickreflection journal for you to go
(19:47):
through, specifically if this isfor you and you're dealing with
something like depression, or ifit's someone you know and you
wanna share it with them, andit's not a way for you.
To avoid talking about it.
(20:09):
This is not in lieu of havingconversations with people or
letting people know what you'redealing with, but it will help
you to put some language to yourstory and more importantly, to
help you understand, sometimeswe just don't fully understand
(20:29):
what's going on inside of us,and we need time to reflect.
Until next time, thank you againfor being here.
And remember, you're not alone.
Keep believing.
Keep trusting.
(20:52):
Keep moving towards healing.
Be better today than you wereyesterday and work to be better
tomorrow than you are today.
Be strong.
Be well.
Be you.
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