Heart Versus Head
A podcast that helps couples communicate again and fight better.
Episodes
In this episode, Randy and Beverly discuss how to handle the touchy subject of interactions with ex-partners, especially when kids are involved. You can't just block 'em and walk away. Whether it's scheduling custody handoffs or providing details about an important event, you're going to have to communicate with your ex and then you're going to want to communicate about that communication with your current ...
In this episode, Randy and Beverly talk about men checking out other women - from a glance at the cute girl at the mall to the bit too long look at the girls on the beach. Sexual attraction may be biological but it's a dangerous minefield in a committed relationship. If you've ever asked your man, "are you checking her out?" ... then this one is for you. Can your relationship handle the difficult conversation o...
In this episode Randy and Beverly explore the ways that Hearts and Heads use conversations for different purposes and how that can lead to trouble in a relationship, especially when you both think you're right. So grab your partner - nicely - and learn another way that Hearts and Heads end up messing up communication.
Remember that episode about The Moment a few weeks ago? Well, Beverly had a moment too. This time around, you'll see why Beverly told Randy that he was a better boyfriend than a husband... and figure out how that happens in a relationship. If you ever felt like the amazing person you dated, became the less than stellar person you got stuck with... this one is for you. #HeartVersusHead
Randy and Beverly jump into some reasons why people - even single people - can benefit from listening to a relationship podcast. Building your relationship skills - like learning to understand Heart and Head styles - isn't just positively life changing with a partner. It can help you navigate work relationships, parenting or finally understanding your weird neighbor. If you've wondered what a relationship podcast like Hea...
In the words of the great philosopher, Dr. Gregory House, "Everybody lies." In relationships lies can erode away trust or create conflicts in values that do more harm than telling the truth. But is it okay to lie? Maybe just a white lie? Or to tell them their new shirt looks great? Or to fake it in bed? In this episode, Randy and Beverly explain why Hearts and Heads lie for different reasons. They also discuss how the val...
There are some defining moments in every relationship. There's the moment you fall in love. There's the moment you realize they love you. And there's THE MOMENT your partner screws it up and lets you down. In this episode, Randy and Beverly talk through the moment Beverly let Randy down... because he ain't no Nicholas Sparks. Listen with your partner and talk about the moments in your relationship.
It's the peak of the summer season and that means ice cream. I scream... you scream... we all scream for ... dating to be easier. Why can't I find my person? In this episode, Beverly and Randy discuss how picking a different flavor might serve you well - in ice cream and dating.
In this episode, Beverly tells the story of the time she reacted out of anger and frustration and did something terrible. The story leads to a discussion about addiction, disappointment, anger and hope. Is there a murderous twist to the story? What do you do when you reach the end of your rope?
What's the key ingredient that will predict success in repairing or improving your relationship? In this episode, Randy and Beverly explain why both partners having a willingness to learn makes all the difference in the world. And they go on a crazy aside about how infidelity isn't what sinks most relationships.
In this episode Beverly has a concept for how to be less controlling in all of your relationships. Basically, think of your partner as a space alien. Listen and learn why thinking this way could really, positively change your relationship with your partner, your kids and even your best friends.
While Heads will often focus on the emotional chaos of being in a relationship with a Heart partner, there's something important that can get missed beneath all that. In this episode, Randy tells the story of the moment he knew that Beverly was the perfect partner... at least, perfect for him. It's a short episode since Beverly is off island for the day but it's an important message about the real value of Hearts.
What are the things that you brought to your relationship? Do you have specific beliefs about what it means to be loved? Are there things your partner should "just know" that they should do to show that they love you? In this episode, Randy and Beverly discuss how our individual definitions of love are formed and why humans naturally (and wrongly) assume that everyone does it the same way. This time on Heart Versus Head, ...
One of the biggest challenges in relationship communication is when you try to make your partner happy and they're trying to make you happy. It can end up with frustration and NOBODY being happy. In this episode, Randy and Beverly take on why focusing on your partner's happiness only works if you actually know what they want and need - and most partners get that wildly wrong. #HeartVersusHead #relationships #relationshipp...
Do you love your partner or are you in love with that wonderful feeling of being in love? It's easy for our brain to like the wonderful feeling of the early stages of being in love but it can trick our brain into believing that love will always feel that way. That leaves a lot of Hearts feeling disappointed and Heads feeling frustrated. Let's talk about it. In this episode, Randy and Beverly unpack why falling in love is ...
Sometimes couples need to argue. Maybe a boundary has been crossed. Maybe your partner and you can't agree on the next car to get - Randy and Beverly had that fight. So how do you have a tough discussion without someone becoming immediately angry, defensive or withdrawing completely? In this episode, you and your partner can learn the best way to start an argument so that you don't start a fight, a riot or a divorce. You&...
Heads tend to compartmentalize everything. Hearts are more likely to flow things together that are linked by similar emotions. This can lead to conflict in a relationship when we don't understand it or assume that our partner does it the same way as we do. Putting things in boxes also makes the Head partner seem like an uncaring narcissist or unfeeling robot. Lumping things together makes the Heart partner seem irrational at t...
Randy and Beverly dive into how people use things like names, pet names, and familiar phrases to create connectivity in relationships. The things people say might mean different things depending on the context but most couples don't really talk about what these common things really mean... and they're missing out on a really connecting conversation. If you're looking for ways to connect more deeply in every conversat...
In this episode, Randy and Beverly discuss how relationships are often seen as "bad" in a moment when a broader view might help both partners see things a little differently. When relationships encounter trouble, the human brain goes into protection mode and notices all the bad stuff, while almost completely ignoring the good stuff. Plus, in this episode, you get to learn the word agathokakological and see if your relatio...
Well, what did you expect? In this episode, Randy and Beverly explore why Hearts and Heads face so many challenges with expectations and why it is so important to talk about them before the trouble shows up. From completely different vacation expectations to not knowing what to do when our partner is crying... we expect that this episode will have a little something for every couple.
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