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June 2, 2025 • 25 mins

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Why your deepest convictions have more in common with falling in love than solving math problems

We tell ourselves a comforting lie about how our minds work. We like to imagine that our beliefs are the product of careful reasoning—that we weigh evidence, consider alternatives, and arrive at conclusions through some kind of internal cost-benefit analysis. It's a neat story that makes us feel rational, controlled, and fundamentally different from those "other people" who believe crazy things.

But here's the thing: that story is mostly bullshit.

If you've ever tried to change someone's mind about politics, watched a loved one stay in a toxic relationship, or caught yourself defending a position you know deep down is shaky, you've witnessed the gap between how we think belief works and how it actually works. And that gap isn't a bug in the system—it's a feature we've been systematically ignoring.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/phis.12232


This is Heliox: Where Evidence Meets Empathy

Independent, moderated, timely, deep, gentle, clinical, global, and community conversations about things that matter.  Breathe Easy, we go deep and lightly surface the big ideas.

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Four recurring narratives underlie every episode: boundary dissolution, adaptive complexity, embodied knowledge, and quantum-like uncertainty. These aren’t just philosophical musings but frameworks for understanding our modern world. 

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